Ah'm a Yunicorn

by GoldenOak KestrelFlight

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 2450

AppleJack has discovered her true passion in life.

AppleJack has a great trial ahead of her. Ya'll will soon know what that is.

Published 2015-08-11 03:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-11 03:40:02 UTC

Yunicorns. Nuff' said.

AppleJack sat up in her bed, a cold sweat on her forehead. She looked out her bedroom door, down the hallway, and crawled out of bed. As she clopped down the hall, she did her best to be as quiet as possible.

"Ah' can't wake them. If they see what Ah'm doin', They'll tease me to no end." She whispered as she stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

"Now then," She whispered, sitting down on the bath rug. "Where is that thing?" She scuffled around, reaching behind the sink and pulling out the Toilet Paper, the Glitter Glue and a Tape dispenser. Setting them in front of her, she began to work. It was just before dawn when she finished.

"Alright then. This should work." She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. "At last, Ah'm a-"

The bathroom door had swung open. Standing in the door was Apple Bloom, holding a towel for the bath. "Oh! Ah sure ah'm sorry, Sis. Ah had no idea..." She trailed off as she saw the thing on her forehead. "Uh Sis. Whats that?"

AppleJack panicked and quickly tried to pull it off. But the glitter glue was stuck tight, and her makeshift horn was stuck. She sighed and turned back towards her younger sister.

"It's a Unicorn horn." She braced herself for the oncoming storm. To her surprise, Apple Bloom calmly left the room. She heard hooves on the stairs and she let out a sigh of relief. Then she heard a shout.

"Big Mac! Get the camera! Ya'll gotta see this!"

AppleJack panicked once more.

"Ah gotta get outta here!" She thought.

Thinking quickly, she ran towards the window. As she heard heavy hoofsteps on the stairs, she climbed out the window. Landing on the hay bales just outside, she sent a silent prayer of thanks to Celestia that she had the forethought to make a stairway from the window to the ground. Climbing down quickly, she galloped away from Sweet Apple Acres.

AJ walked through Ponyville, her entire face a deep red. "What was Ah thinkin'?! She thought, cowering in a corner as Lyra walked towards Bon Bon's house. I shoulda' used the leftover sparkle dust from the Babs Seed incident. Now I gotta go see somepony to get this thing off."

She walked out of the corner, making sure nopony was around to see. "Ah' know! Fluttershy's gotta have a critter that can chew this thang off. I'll go see her." She whispered to herself as she galloped out of Ponyville.

She arrived at Fluttershy's cottage just as she began to run out of breath. "Fluttershy!" She whisper-shouted, knocking on the door and trying not to disturb Harry the bear's nap. "Fluttershy! Ah' need yer help!" She stopped knocking as a bleary-eyed Angel opened the door. Waving her inside, he curled back up in his basket and went back to sleep. Fluttershy was making Waffles in the kitchen when AppleJack walked in. "H-Hey Fluttershy."

Fluttershy turned from her cooker, speaking. "Oh, hello AppleJack. What did you..." She trailed off, looking embarrassed. "Oh."

"As ya'll can see, Ah've gotten mah' self in a bit of a predicament." She blushed and stepped one hoof towards her friend. "Ah' was hoping ya'll might have a critter that could chew through this stuff."

"Oh, um, I don't think so. I can check, Um if that's alright with you. But, no, I don't think I do."

"Ah' would really appreciate it, Sugar Cube."

"Alright, give me a second." She pulled her waffle off of the burner and set it on a plate stacked high with more of that lovely bread. "Oh, um, pardon me. I should have asked. Would you like some breakfast? That is, um, if you haven't eaten already."

"Thank ya kindly, Sugar Cube. I skipped breakfast back at the farm."

"Alright. I'll be right back. You just dig in while I check on the animals." Fluttershy flew out of her house and began feeding her animals, and searching for the creature AJ needed.

Aj dug in, having never tasted waffles this good. "Say, Sugar Cube. Those were good." She said as the yellow pegasus flew back into the room. "Mind tellin' me the recipe?"

Fluttershy blushed, having only ever fed her animals before. "Oh, okay. I'll bring it over to Sweet Apple Acres later today."

"Thanks. Did ja' find anyone?" AppleJack had a hopeful look on her face. Fluttershy found it hard to say, then she sighed.

"No. I'm so sorry, but after Discord messed with the beavers minds, they all ran back to the Everfree forest. And I just don't have any other creature that could do it."

"It's alright Shy. I should've had the courage to go to Rarity anyway. She would know how to get rid of this properly. Uh, no offense."

"Oh, none taken. I should probably head into Ponyville now. I have to pick up bird feed. I just don't understand. I buy the biggest bag the pet store can offer, and by the end of the week, I run out. The other animals say they haven't been eating from it, and I believe them."

"So, if ya'll gotta go to Ponyville... Do ya think ya'll can help me find Rarity?"

"Oh, um... Sure?"

"Great! Come on, we should get going. The sooner we get this over with, the better." The two ponies left the cottage and trotted back towards Ponyville.

As the two ponies walked through Ponyville, AJ had her hat pulled down over her 'Horn'. "Ah wish Ah didn't hafta do this." She muttered to herself. "Where is that fussy pony anywho? She wasn't at the Botique, and she's always there this early."

Fluttershy stopped for a moment. "Didn't Pinkie Pie say something about a party a Sugar Cube Corner this morning?"

"Ah' reckon she did. Twi was the one who told me about it, even if she did say she was to busy to come."

"Maybe Rarity will be there."

"It's worth a shot."

The duo walked towards Pinkie's party palace, where the biggest party Equestria had ever seen was set to go off as soon as they walked through the door.

"You know," Fluttershy said as they trotted down the street. "Twilight might have a spell that could take care of that."

AppleJack sighed. "Ah' know. Ah' know. But the last thing Ah' wanna do is tell Twi what Ah've done. After how Ah' treated her durin' Winter Wrap Up, Ah'd just feel right terrible if'n she found out."

"But what, um if you don't mind my asking, what happens if we don't find Rarity?"

She sighed once more, having lost the argument once again. "Then... Then ya'll 'll hafta fetch Twilight fer me."

The two ponies walked up to the door of Sugar Cube Corner, and AJ pushed the door open.

"SURPRISE!!!" Pinkie Pie shouted along with half of Ponyville as they walked in. Fluttershy cowered behind AppleJack in fright.

"Happy Birthday, ya silly filly!" Pinkie Pie said, giving AJ a hoof-sized noogie on the hat. "Come and join the party!"

"Aw, horse apples." She thought, staring at the ground in shame. "Of all the days. Why'd it hafta be today?!"

"Hey AppleJack," Rainbow said, flying up next to her and wiping some bird seed off her chin. "Whats up? You're never late."

"Uh, it- it was nuthin. Ah' swear!"

"Come on AJ. You can tell me." She bumped her on the shoulder, knocking off her hat in the process.

"No, wait!" AJ reached for her hat, but the damage had already been done.

"AppleJack, what's that?" Twilight said, walking up behind her and placing a hoof on her shoulder. "Is that a..."

AppleJack sighed, looking down at the floor. "Yes, it is. It's a..." She trailed off, muttering the last word. Rainbow collapsed on the floor, laughter racking her body like nothing else.

"Oh sweet Celestia! AJ, I guess you were feeling a little h-" Rainbow found herself unable to speak as a pink hoof was shoved over her mouth. Pinkie and Twilight spoke at the same time "Rainbow!" They both gave her a hard glare. Twilight spoke, her face beet red. "There are foals here!" Pinkie spoke up too.

"Yeah! This is a kid's fic Dashie! Don't force Golden to change the rating!"

Everypony stared are Pinkie, a confused look passing over most of their faces. Twilight turned to AJ, ignoring Pinkie for now. "AppleJack, is there something you want to tell us?"

AppleJack growled and turned towards the punch table, taking several shots of the pinkish-red liquid before turning back around to face them. "Big Macintosh was right. Being a Unicorn would help out on the farm like nothin' else. Ah' figured Ah' could work some earth pony magic and grow mah'self a horn." She sighed, blushing and pulling her hat back over her head. "As ya'll can see, it didn't work. Ah was hopin' Rarity would have somethin' that could get this thang off mah' head." She looked around. "Where is the fussy mare?"

Twilight turned towards Pinkie. "What time did you say she would be back?"

Pinkie blinked. "Oh! Right, she said that the book she needed should be at the library, but with Spike probably holding her up. Um, I'd say about an hour."

AppleJack sighed. "Okay. Twilight, do you know any spells capable of removing this thing?"

"I don't know. I can try." Twilight focused. The next hour was spent trying every trick in the book. Levetation. Teleportation. Fire. Every kind of sharp object you can think of. She even tried Sombra's dark magic once. Nothing worked. "Sorry, AJ. I'm all out." She lay panting on the ground, thoroughly exhausted. "Maybe you're right. Rarity would know how to fix this. I would suggest heading down to the library in the castle. Rarity should still be there." She blinked. "I take it you would rather not have to walk all the way there in your condition. Right?"

AJ sighed embarrassed to no end. "Yeah."

"Do you want me to teleport you?"

"That'd be mighty kind of you Sugar Cube."

"Alright then. Hold on." She focused the last of her magic and transported them both to the library doors.

"Hey Rainbow," Fluttershy said, walking up to the sky blue pegasus. "You wouldn't happen to know what happened to my feeders back home do you?" She was glaring directly at the missed spot of bird food on her chin.

AppleJack and Twilight opened the library doors and walked in on a very uncomfortable situation. Rarity was questioning Spike on the topic as to why he had possession of a Rarity plushie, and why he slept with it every night.

"I mean really? A plushie of me? What in the name of Celes- Oh, hello Twilight. I- I didn't see you there." She turned away from her unknown lover. "Perhaps you could explain this?" She pointed at the white doll slumped on the table.

"I'm sorry Rarity, I'll explain later. Right now, we need your help."

"Whatever for, Darling?"

Twilight stepped aside, hauling AppleJack forward with her magic. "AppleJack, will you please remove your hat?"

The orange earth pony sighed, mentally preparing herself. She pulled her hat off, setting it on the floor.

Rarity gasped, Spike guffawed. "AppleJack, what did you do?!"

She pointed her muzzle up in the air, doing her best to look proud of what she had done. "Ah' gave mahself a unicorn horn. Now Ah' can't get it off. I tried Fluttershy's for a critter to chew through this. Twi here tried every spell ya'll can think of. Can ya'll do anythin' to fix this thang?" She pointed to the cardboard roll on her head.

Rarity began to laugh, trotting over to AJ with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry Darling. I just..." She broke out into laughter once more. "This is just too funny!"

"Can ya'll do it or not?"

"I don't know dear." She said, wiping her eyes. "I can try." She focused her magic and brought out a pair of scissors. With a quick snip, she removed the construct from the farmer's forehead.

"Are you Bucking kidding me?! I spend all day trying to get this thang off, and ya'll cut it off with a pair of scissors!!!"

"AppleJack! Watch your Language! Spike's still in the room." She glanced at her assistant, who was playing with his doll at the table.

"By the way AppleJack, what did you use to hold this on. I could see the tape, but that wouldn't hold together for very long."

"Ah' used, Uh, Sugarpine Tree sap. Why?"

"Oh, thank goodness Darling. For a second there, I had thought you had used Glue."

"Now what's so wrong with Glue?"

Rarity whispered the truth in her ear.

AJ's face turned deathly pale. "Wha-Bu-Ah'-Ah' didn't know, Ah' swear!"

"Calm down AJ." Twilight said, glaring at Rarity with a look that could kill. "Look, now that this is done, all you have to do is explain to your family what you were doing." She stared at her for a moment. "How exactly are you going to explain that?"

AppleJack crawled into bed, having successfully avoided her family all day. She sighed happily, snuggling up in her sheets.

"With some luck, this'll all be over by tomorrow."

She woke up with an ache in her forehead. She sat up in the bed and crawled out, stepping out of her room to begin a fresh day's work. When she sat down for breakfast, A plate of pancakes in front of each Apple, she looked at the other three Apples with a grumpy look on her face. "Not. Ah'. Word."

Apple Bloom and Big Mac shared a laugh. "Are ya sure, Sis?" Apple Bloom asked, staring directly at the spot where AppleJack felt her headache was. "Ya'll haven't looked in the mirror yet, have ya?"

"Now whats that supposed ta mean?"

Big Mac snickered. "Ah think ya'll had better listen to her AJ."

AppleJack quickly dashed back up the stairs and looked in the mirror. Princess Celestia looked up in shock as she heard somepony shout.

"Ah'm a Yunicorn!!!"

Author's Note

This was written for the 'Friend Off' on Eqd. It took me three days to put together. I hope Ya'll enjoy.
I really do hope I don't have to change the rating because of that. :twilightblush:
I took me forever to find out what Glue was made out of. Here's the link to the page I found.
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/explainer/2012/02/what_do_horses_have_to_do_with_glue_.html
:facehoof::rainbowhuh::pinkiesick::fluttershbad::applejackunsure:

As co-owner of this page, I declare this story proofread and edited. -- Miss Marvel