Author's Note

We weren't really sure the direction we were going to go with on this one. And to be quite honest it's my least favorite out of the stories we have wrote . Episode 2 being my favorite.

It's not that bad, but it could be better. Regardless, please read on! Judge for yourself.

Episode 6: Curing the Cancerous Curses

Character Sheet:
Tom Hanks
AppleJack
Applebloom
Trixie
Jimmy
Jacob
SweetieBelle
Scootaloo
Zecora

We join the group again after being cursed by poison joke. Jimmy, Jacob, and Trixie having failed to convince Twilight to tell them where they can find the cure, they try their luck with Applejack, but what they find out, will be a surprise to them. “OH YES TOM, WHIP ME HARDER YOU DIRTY WHORE!” Was heard from inside inside the barn. The group creeped towards the barn doors and Trixie peeped inside.

“OH APPLEJACK, POUR MORE HONEY DOWN MY BACK IT FEELS AMAZING!” screamed Tom as he whipped AJ with what seemed to be an old belt.

Just then the door was kicked open by Trixie, “I would like to join in!” she declared

“Me too, me too!” Scootaloo squealed with glee, “Where’d you get the belt?!”

“... Damn sis, you *hic* look fiiiiiiiiiiiiine” Applebloom slurred.

“Uhh, this ain’t what it looks like y’all! Ah just… Ah jus’ spilled some honey on Tom and he got needlessly mad, a-an’ hit me with his belt!” Applejack blurted.

“That SHIT isn’t the problem, where’s the COCK cure for poison joke AppleFUCK?” Jimmy demanded.

Applejack turned and looked at Jimmy with a quizzical look “Uh.. what’s wrong with ‘im?”

“... I’m not saying anything until I can be mean again. Otherwise I might accidently compliment someone, like Tom on his 6 pac- NO, MUST FIGHT IT!” Jacob shouted.

“Well uh, las’ time ah was sick with that poison joke, Zecora fix’d me rite up! So ya’ll mite wanna meander on down to her place in that there Everfree Forest and she’ll fix ya’ll up quicker than my paw when he’s drunk an’ horny!” Applejack cheerfully replied

“Where does she COCK live? I’ve only seen SlenderSHIT when I go there.” Jimmy asked.

“I can help ya… *hic*” Applebloom muttered, “IF!... Tom does the *hic* same treatment for me, an’ you gimmie moar booze.”

“Tom is mine, you can have the brandy ya lil drunk, now get outta her’ so we can contin’ya with playin’ our lil game.” Applejack purred devilishly as she looked back at Tom.

“Ohh, forget the curse, lemme just stay here with the eye candy!” Trixie moaned.

“C’mon you SHIT” Jimmy yelled, as he dragged her out by her tail. Sweetie Belle had to runs some errands for her bitch of a sister, while Scootaloo… well she stayed and watched. So Trixie, Jacob, and Jimmy were lead by the extremely drunk philly to Zecora’s house. After getting lost about seven times, turning around four times, and an unscheduled vomit about twice, they found Zecora’s hut.

“Knocking is an important thing, rather than breaking and entering.” Zecora chimmed.

“Zecora, we’ve been FUCKED infected with poison joke, I’ve COCK been told that you know how to cure it, can you help us SHIT?” Jimmy requested.

“Without even telling me your curse, I now know it’s a problem with cursing spurts.” Zecora then turned her head to Trixie and Jacob. “But foolish horse and tall young man, tell me what plagues you my children.”

“This is going to sound stupid. I have a problem with being overly nice, and Trixie can’t say her name…” Jacob sighed.

She pondered for a moment, then turned to Jimmy, “With one decision you are faced, you must eat a bowl of milk and toothpaste.” Zecora stated.

“But… but that’s FUCKING disgusting.” Jimmy shouted, before shortly sighing, “...Do you have any toothpaste and COCK milk?” asked Jimmy.

“If you are to drink the putrid mix, your cursing problem it will surely fix.” Zecora replied. With that, Zecora began gathering the materials for the cure for Jimmy’s infliction.

“What about us?” Trixie moped.

“For every curse there is a cure, but between you two I am not sure.” Zecora replied, puzzled. “Human is it all that bad, to be so nice and not so mad?”

“If I stay nice for too long my organs begin to shut down. It’s a disease I was born with. I think I can smell my blood in my lungs…” Jacob replied slightly wheezing. “Plus ninety percent of the stories humor revolves around vulgar language, without me it’s missing a huge chunk of it…”

Zecora examined Jacob closely, grinned and whispered “To rid yourself of this cacophony, you must have sex with a pony.”

“Certainly a step up from being a furry… Is there no other way?” Jacob moped.

“Perhaps eating a chunk of brain, that could put an ease to your pain.” Zecora said deep in thought.

“Well alright I’ll have sexual intercorse with a horse then...” Jacob stressed.

“What about meeeeee” whined Trixie.

“I-I can do it! *hic* I’m a b.. big girl now!” Applebloom stammered.

“Little one you are far too little for such acts of perversion. Trixie is kinda the only one willing and close by, as much as I hate this, I’m gonna have to… tap dat ass.” Jacob said disgusted.

“Come with me, let’s get some privacy” Trixie purred as she pulled Jacob out of the room.

“Jesus, Buddha, Akatosh, Satan, Tom Hanks, Pastafarians, please help me.” Jacob whined. So uh.. whilst they were doing the dirty, Zecora handed Jimmy his toothpaste cereal.

“So.. here goes PISS nothing” muttered Jimmy as he chugged the vile concoction. After a few minutes, Jimmy exclaimed, “Hey, I feel a lot SHIT!... Nevermind.”

“You foolish ones believed that raff, I was simply doing it for laughs.” Zecora said cheerfully.

“Ya best be COCK kidding me!” Jimmy yelled as he brandished his weapons.

“Twilight bribed me not to tell, these bag of shrooms are quite the spell.” Zecora said holding a bag of mushrooms in her mouth.

“Wait.. WHAT?” Jacob screamed as he burst into the room, fully naked and looking flustered.

“D-don’t hurt me and I’ll reveal the cure, it’s as simple is a scrape or sore. The cure is a taking a bubble bath, it’s just as simple as that.” Zecora replied in fear.

“Give. Me. A. Towel.” Jacob muttered, with a slight nosebleed.

“Holy FUCK dude, you okay? You’re SHIT bleeding out your COCK nose.” Jimmy stated.

“I. AM. NOT. OKAY. GIVE. ME. A... TOWEL.” Jacob shouted, shortly before collapsing.

“It would seem your friend is in critical condition, saving him now is our only mission.” Zecora said, scrambling to get Jacob into the bathroom. After half an hour, Jacob came to in the tub of Zecora’s hut. Just then a knock was heard on the bathroom door.

“Due to your excessive bleeding, just making sure that you’re still breathing.” Zecora muttered.

“Get the fuck out and let me enjoy my bath before I shove this bar of soap down your throat and out your ass..” Jacob said without even making eye contact.

“Zecora, quick question, I thought this was supposed to be a bubble bath, so why did you put carrots and spices in with me!?” yelled Jimmy from her living room thing I guess, the show never was really clear where she did her potion making for all we know it coulda been in her outhouse because dis bitch crazy.

“Are you done in there yet? Trixie’s ready for round two!” Trixie chimed.

“Sorry to tell ya this, licking my eyeballs doesn’t exactly turn me on. So…if you even attempt at having sex with me again, I’ll peel your skin off and make you eat it while you’re still breathing” Jacob replied.

So in the end, the group thought about getting revenge on Twilight, but they resolved to do it later. For now, however, Jacob went back to the mansion, Applebloom stole some of Zecora’s brandy, Trixie moved in with Jimmy, (On the condition that she pays for the rent, utilities, and does basically everything.) and Zecora got back to doing whatever the hell she normally does. And they all lived happily ever after… Until our next story!