The sufferings of eternal ineptitude due to the referendum tally of eternal frienditude.

by FaelaArts

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1141

Or: Twilight goes back in time to try and fix her past.

Or: Twilight goes back in time to try and fix her past.
Written for: Hazardous Writing Materials and Challenges Contest #1: ANACHRONISTIC STORIES

Traducción Española: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/Los-sufrimientos-de-la-ineptitud-eterna-990274753

Published 2015-08-08 06:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-08 06:30:02 UTC

In which the past is rewritten consistently to discover the changes that result from transfiguring the transdimensional flux.

“Spike? Spiiike! Spike?” Glancing around, Twilight soon spotted the baby dragon, lying on the ground. Trotting past him she began to scan the bookshelves.

“There you are. Quick, find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies.” Glancing to Spike as he ascended the stairs, she noticed the crushed present on the end of his tail.

“What’s that for?” Before Twilight could get an answer, however, there was a purple flash behind her. Turning around, her eyes widened to see a slightly taller version of her, with wings! Jaw dropping, she was unable to even comprehend the sight.

“I am you from the future, there’s something imperative that I have to stop before it’s too late.” Pausing, the Alicorn Twilight looked toward the present on Spike’s tail, and swore.

“Tartarus! I’m too late. I swear, this is the last time I trust the time-keeping of Pinkie Pie.” Muttering to herself, Alicorn Twilight’s horn began to glow.

“Waiiit!” Unicorn Twilight tried to tackled Alicorn Twilight, who blocked her with a shield spell, and sighed.

“You mean in the future, I become an Alicorn? How?” Eyes sparkling, Unicorn Twilight had completely forgotten what book she had been looking for.

“Uh, well you see you really mess up your friends by accidentally casting an incomplete spell, but that’s not why I’m here. I have to stop you from destroying that teddybear!” Pointing to the present, Alicorn Twilight(AT) levitated the destroyed bear out of the box, showing it to Unicorn Twilight(UT).

“Well, uh, I can always buy another one?” Raising an eyebrow, UT saw the realisation on AT’s face, and smiled. If her going to Moonancer’s party lead to her becoming an Alicorn, how awesome would that be? Something to do with messing up her friends with an incomplete spell…UT's thoughts were interrupted by another flash of purple.

“Stop! Both of you!” This Twilight was not an Alicorn, but had half her fur missing. Both looked straight at the flank, noticing the scar right through the Cutie Mark.

“I’m from a future where I made a teleport spell explode in my friend’s faces, thinking it would make me an Alicorn. Thanks for that, by the way.” Glaring to AT, Burned Twilight(BuT) was obviously very angry at this. Giving a sheepish smile, AT quickly apologised. However, before any of them could comment, another flash of purple occurred.

“Enough! Don’t scar me with any further details!” This Twilight was dyed black, and had heavy eyeliner under her eyes. All three Twilight’s reared, stepping away from this new Twilight.

“In my future, you told me everything you went through, in excruciating detail, scarring me for life. I’ve only just realised that society isn’t at fault, but you!” Poking a hoof into BuT’s scarred skin, who winced as her sensitive skin buzzed, Black Twilight(BLT) smiled. Before anypony could comment, however, another purple flash could be seen.

“I really don’t have anything to say, I’m just here to tell my past self to pick up the dry-cleaning when she’s done.” This Alicorn Twilight(AT2) seemed almost identical to the first one, except with a weary expression. Turning, the first AT(AT1), rolled her eyes, opening her mouth to comment. Of course, another purple flash occurred.

“From the future, don’t forget the dry-cleaning. Seriously, I mean it this time.” Eyes full of exhaustion, this Alicorn Twilight(AT3) was carrying saddlebags full of clothes. Raising an eyebrow, AT1 simply levitated the saddlebags onto her back, and gave a smug smile. Before AT3 could object, however, yet another purple flash appeared.

“Stop! Don’t go to Moondancer’s Party! You don’t become an Alicorn!” This Unicorn Twilight(UT2) was almost identical to UT1, except wearing glasses. Peeved, both turned to glare at the Alicorns, who rolled their eyes, giving a sigh. Of course, another Twilight appeared, this one, once more, with wings.

“Oh, and don’t forget to grab a gem for Spike. He made dinner so it’d be nice if we could reward him. I mean, he’s waiting for us to come out.” AT4 gave a warm smile, stifling a yawn as she looked to AT1. Giving a shrug, she pulled out a list and wrote it down as AT3 quickly stole back her saddlebags.

“Hey those were-” Cut off by another flash, AT1 glared at AT5 who shrunk back slightly, and opened the doors to the balcony. Stepping outside, she threw a ball with all her strength, and then looked to the others.

“Don’t worry, this is an experi-” Of course, AT5 was interrupted by AT6, who walked over and slapped AT5 with as much force as she could muster.

“You idiot! That ball hits Ditzy Doo, sending her crashing. Thankfully she crashes into a hospital, but do you realise what you’ve done to-” Once more cut off, this time it was by UT3, whom seemed to be in tears.

“Spike, Spike leaves you when you fail to make friends.” Sobbing, UT3 was inconsolable by both UT2 and AT2. AT6 merely rolled her eyes in response. Once more, a purple flash occurred. And all blinked as a teenage Spike appeared. Looking at all of them, he merely folded his arms.

“I’m from the future where my Twilight exploded because somepony made too many copies of herself trying to fix something not broken.” Giving all the AT’s a glare, Spike vanished in a puff of purple smoke. Mumbling quick apologies, all but AT1 vanished, leaving only the Unicorn Twilight’s left.

“Oh jeez, I’m sorry past-me. I guess I got so caught up trying to fix my past, I forgot why it was called my past.” Bowing her head, AT was sincerely sorry. The UT’s had been about to forgive her, but once more, a purple portal appeared.

“Oh come on! Why didn’t I get to become an Alicorn this time? I did everything right! My friends agree I should have become an Alicorn! Instead, I get this.” Slamming a card in AT’s face, AT begins to read it aloud.

“I’m sorry, but only ponies unaware can earn their wings.” Blinking, AT looked to all the versions of UT, and stood up. Approaching UT1, she lowered her horn to the head, levitating the bear back into the box and wiping past-Spike’s memory.

“It was worth a shot,” she admitted, and cast the spell on UT1. Without warning, all the other Unicorn Twilight’s vanished, and AT herself quickly returned to her own time. With no further interruptions, UT1 returned to re-enacting the past.

Arriving back home at the Castle, Twilight opened the door, smelling the delicious scents of dinner. Stopping in the middle of the door, she swore.

“Oh shoot, I forgot the washing.” So, with a bit of concentration, she went back in time to warn herself about the washing.