Until It Goes Away

by sidewayz2013

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 6765

Scootaloo has dreams that force her to confront her real self.

Scootaloo has always been told that if it makes you feel bad, just ignore it. These supressed feelings build up over time, and they finally culminate into a very, very strange nightmare.

I appreciate any feedback, so don't be afraid! :rainbowkiss:

Pre-read/edited by ABronyAnonymous.

Published 2015-08-08 05:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-08 05:10:02 UTC

Fragility

Glass. It is but a transparent wall, capable of allowing an observer to take in the many colors of the outdoors. It can show varying shades of orange, grey, or blue, sometimes all three. At the moment it was orange with splotches of white, as dusk settled upon the mountainside in the distance, and the ponies that worked their stands in the market began to pack up their stowable wares.

Behind the glass, I sat, clenching a ratchet in my muzzle. I turned back around, a determined, unwavering glint in my eye. My scooter needed a bit of regular maintenance, so I cleaned the bearings in a citric acid and water solution, and replaced the lightly cracking wheels. They didn’t have much wear on them, if at all, but they began to dry rot a few weeks ago. I grimaced as I looked over them. I can’t have that. I left the bearings to soak for the night, and opened a drawer on my toolbox. Without looking, I haphazardly put my tools back into what might have been my socket drawer at some point. I shrugged. I suppose it didn't really matter as long as everything made it back into the box.

Turning back towards the half assembled scooter, I caught a slight glimpse of the little red wagon that used to haul my friends around in back when we saw each other every day. I ran a hoof along it's side, pulling up a thin layer of dust that had settled over the now faded paint. Over the last few months, I had steadily covered the old wagon in various items, piled indifferently atop one another. Skate magazines, empty spray bottles of cleaning products, tools that I’d been too busy or too lazy to put away, candy wrappers, crumpled Minotaur energy drink cans; it was all there, standing tall, yet always threatening to collapse.

I should clean that. I mean, I’ll use it. I don’t really know when, but I will. For now though, it can wait. I need to go to sleep. I’ve got a long work day ahead of me tomorrow, due to me asking for more time on this week’s schedule. I may still live with mom, but I need the hours. I need them.

Closing the drawer, I slowly trot to the utility room door. I step through the door, and start feeling around the wall trying to locate the light switch. A small box tells me I’ve hit the garage door opener, but I can’t find that switch. Where was that stupid thing? Irritably, I push back against the door jamb, swinging my body around so I can see the opposite wall. Quickly locating the switch, I turn it off and grumble as I make my way through the hall to my room.

Pushing on my half opened door, I reach for the switch, once again not finding it. Do they always move or something? Are the switches conspiring against me? Or am I just forgetting the layout of the house I’ve lived in for years now?

I let out an annoyed sigh, looking up and immediately finding it. Keep it together Scoots. Rainbow Dash never got upset over little stuff, so neither will I. The room is dimly lit, just the way I like it. I stroll over to my messy bed, having to climb over fetlock-high piles of dirty clothes and other detritus on the floor. The bed looks so inviting after the day I had, so I don’t give a flying feather about grace as I plop onto it, muzzle down. It isn’t the softest thing on the planet, but it’s enough. Unlike most nights, I don’t have energy to think about anything.

I’m really cold. Instinct tells me to pull the blanket over me, though I know it won’t help. Eyelids close over my amethyst irises like curtains. My brow furrows, wishing for… warmth. I settle for curling into myself, seeking whatever body heat I can. Unconsciousness pulls me into its embrace as I fall into slumber.

~~~~~~~~~

Sounds of the happy chirping of birds travel to my ears, as they do every morning, and my alarm goes off. It’s just the normal beeping instead of the Sapphire Shores I set it to. It’s also a bit distorted, so I guess it must be malfunctioning again. Celestia’s glorious and incredibly bothersome light flows into my room. I turn towards the clock, barely seeing that it shows 8:88 PM. Yep, definitely broken again.

After a moment I sit up, my groggy eyes trying to get used to their recently exposed state. I look left, trying to focus on my Rainbow Dash shrine, then right, to the Daring Do movie posters. I didn't have many, but they meant a lot to me. My unsteady attention is then pulled to the T.V. stand where I vaguely see the mirrored image of my blurry room and a small black filly staring back. I can’t get my vision to clear. Giving up, I trudge through to the next part of my routine.

Blood slowly flowing through me again, I get up off the bed and search my closet. Squinting straight ahead, I'm barely able to make out the shape of the clean work shirts hanging up neatly. Grabbing a random one off the rod, I messily slip the shirt on. The dressing process could’ve been smoother, but it was morning, and my wings having been fully developed over the last few years was hindering my groggy efforts. Usually when I opened the store with my supervisor, I tended to sleep as long as possible, while leaving a buffer with just enough time to fly to work. Such is the case this morning, or at least it sure felt like it. I straighten out my shirt, clutch my keys and colorful wallet, and store them in my full-feathered wings. On my way out, I trot by my mom’s room, expecting her to be at work already. Strangely, her light is on, so I walk up to her door, staying just outside it to respect her privacy.

“Ma? Hey, I’m headed to work.” I didn't expect much more than an affirmative grunt.

“Have an awesome day, Squirt!” She replies raspily.

I almost make a move away from the door when I hesitate, my muzzle slightly hanging. Did she just...?

I ignore it, slowly stepping away from the door frame and offering a small, polite, “Thanks,” as I head through the hall to the front door. I unlock the deadbolt, open it, and step through. I stick my head outside and take a quick look around. Things seemed colorful this morning, if a bit cloudy. Maybe there was a last minute shower scheduled for today. I step a hoof outside onto the redwood patio, locking the knob on the way out. I hoof around in my wings for my key and upon finding it, lock the deadbolt back up. I turn around to take off to work.

After another uneventful flight, I land in the lot in front of my job and pull my wings to my sides tightly as I approach the front door of the cart repair shop. The bay doors are still closed, and I quickly turn around. There must be at least 10 carts in the parking lot.They’re all in various states of disrepair, and were presumably all dropped off overnight. As confused as I was about the circumstance, I just wanted to get them done.

Turning back to the front door, I reach towards the handle. I stop when I see an adolescent filly. She was dark, deep blue, almost black in coat and mane color, looking dejected and blank. She turned towards me, gazing forlornly into me. She hesitantly opens her muzzle to speak, as I perk my ears towards her to listen.

“Help,” she begs timidly, barely audible yet echoing loudly in my ears. The moment I hear her voice, I remember what I’d forgotten not five seconds ago.

It’s a reflection.

No.

My eyes widening, mouth agape, I can feel every beat of my heart, every breath going through me, every twitch and shudder of my wings. They rapidly increase, as tears begin to form at the corners of my eyes. I step back, my hoof frantically scanning for the ground beneath it. I expect it to be there. When it’s not, my breath, my heart, my wings; all of it stops. I glance away for a second, then back in terror at the reflection. The filly’s tears of sadness had given way to tears of anger in the split second I’d looked away. Panicking, I beat my wings, but it only manages to spin me uncontrollably. My forehooves slip from the cold concrete, and I plummet into the void.

~~~~~~~~~~

I awaken with a start, my eyelids flying open, my hooves half-heartedly grasping at nothing in particular. Realizing it was a simple nightmare, I curl into myself, having been reminded of my solitude. I remain that way until, suddenly imagining how silly I must look, I straighten my body. Awareness slowly comes back to me. Celestia’s glorious, annoying light filters in through the blinds. Sounds of the happy chirping of crickets travel to my ears, as they do every morning. The beeping I hear is fast and high pitched, but slowing down as the seconds pass. Stupid alarm clock. My neck swivels towards my nightstand. The LEDs in it are flickering madly. My sleep-filled eyes narrow and a snort escapes me. Yep, definitely still broken.

I sit up, my tired eyes trying to get used to their recently opened state. I look left, trying to focus on my Wall of Rainbow Dash, then right, to the Daring Do posters piled on top of each other, then straight ahead to the T.V. stand where I vaguely see the mirrored image of my room, with half the screen taken up by what first appears to be the blurry upper half of a staring black filly. I can’t get my eyes to focus, so I give up and move to the next part of my routine.

I get the blood flowing through me again, and get up off the bed to my hooves, looking towards my closet. I move over the fetlock-high pile of dirty work shirts on the floor, and look up slightly to the six or seven that were still clean and hung up. I stretch my neck out to grab one of them, and struggle a bit as I slip the shirt on. My wings didn’t get in the way too much, having still not completely developed yet. Usually when I open the store with my supervisors, my body clock tells me to wake up right when I’m scheduled to be at work, leaving me no time to get ready. Such is the case this morning, or at least it sure feels like it. I button up the last button of my shirt, reach for my keys and slightly faded wallet, store them in my meager wings, and walk over to my mom’s room, expecting her to be at work already. The worn out light bulb in her ceiling fan is flickering, but illuminated, so I walk up to the door frame, staying just outside it to respect her privacy.

“Momma? Hey, I’m headed to work, okay?” I call to her, not expecting much response.

“Alrighty then Scootaloo, Ah guess Ah’ll tell Sweetie Belle to meet us at the clubhouse later,” she drawled, an empty enthusiasm in her voice.

I almost move to fully close the door when I hesitate, doing a double take. Was that…?

Though suspicious, I ignore it, shuffling away from the door frame and offering a quiet, miniscule, “See ya there,” as I head through the long hall to the front door. I unlock the three deadbolts, open the door, and step through. I take a quick look outside. Things seemed calm and colorless this morning. Maybe there was a storm coming through a bit later. I step onto the grey concrete patio, locking the knob on the way out. I slightly open up my left wing, as my key falls out onto my hoof. I bite at it, locking the two deadbolts that had a keyhole. I turn around to take off to work.

Buzzing wings begin to guide me down the path to work. I pass by the few ponies awake enough to be on their way to their respective jobs, though I can’t focus on their faces. I hear a pony behind me to the left, just in my earshot. As I hear them come closer, I hear a second set of hooves join the first. The mumbling I was hearing from them a second ago becomes just clear enough to register. Their tinny voices echoed towards my ears.

“You are my only strength --,” the now inaudible voice trails off just before the name, but I don’t have time to think about the words as the other deeper, huskier voice travels to me.

“And you are mine, --.” The name once again escapes me, though I hear three syllables. “I can’t live without you. You’re the reason I exist.”

I cringe. Sharp stabs of pain occur in my chest as try and fail to shut it out, to not listen. I loathe public affection, though the moisture forming in my quivering, purple eyes tells a different story.

Curiosity impels me to look back for a second to see who they were.

There before me, not twenty hooves away, dressed in a Wonderbolts Captain uniform, was a blurry, faceless orange filly with a windswept violet mane and tail, large, full wings spread halfway, and no cutie mark behind her shirt seam. But it was the pony across from her that made my breath hitch.

Across from the orange pegasus was a taller pony with a chimerical black coat and mane, no face, and a dark ethereal vapor seeping from it’s skin. It’s entire form was opaque, and the only indication of gender was the previous voice.

The filly leaned in for a soft, intimate kiss.

No. I whimper internally.

Their lips make contact. I desperately want to look away, a whimper escaping my lungs, fresh tears flowing so fast I don’t bother to deny them. A single sob sends tremors through me. My body doesn’t let me turn the other way. It forces me to face the truth I so desperately deny.

The shadowy figure moves towards the filly as she embraces him. Countless tiny tendrils come from the front of his body, enveloping the pegasus, pulling her in. My vision begins to blur and darken, as I weep and sob quietly on the narrow dirt path.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I awaken quietly sobbing, keeping my eyes clenched shut, burying my muzzle into my forehooves. I curl into myself as tightly as possible, grasping my hindlegs and desperately wishing that I had the warmth and security of another pony to wake up to. I continue to cry meekly, letting out an occasional depressed moan. At that point, I don't care if I look silly. After a few minutes, my shallow, ragged breathing quells. It was just a dream.

It was just a dream, Scootaloo.

Managing to calm down to steady breathing, I open my eyes. The moon shone brightly in the morning sky, but not much color was reflected into my retinas. Sounds of the happy roaring of dinosaurs travel to my ears, as they do every morning. There's a constant high pitched tone whining from my left. Stupid alarm clock. My neck sorely spins to my nightstand. 3:35. 3:34. 3:33. Every second sees another decrease. Yep, definitely broken again.

I sit up, my sleepless eyes begging me to fall back down and continue sleeping. But I don't, because I know what awaits me in my state of slumber. I look left, my Rainbow Dash collection now too big for my wall, spreading to the ceiling. Then I look right, seeing the Daring Do and Wonderbolts posters thumbtacked on top of one another. I look ahead to the T.V. stand to see nothing reflected, but two small, purple circles glowing in the center. I can’t get my eyes to focus, so I give up and move on to the next part of my routine.

I get the blood flowing through me again, and get up to my hooves, looking towards my closet. I climb over the piled up clothes on the floor, and bend my neck to look up to the solitary shirt that patiently hung. I craned my neck, barely grabbing it with my teeth and just avoiding losing my balance. Miraculously, I slip the shirt on without any problems. Usually when I open the store with the store owners, my body clock tells me to wake up just after I need to be there, leaving me time to get my shirt on and skip breakfast. Such is the case this morning, or at least it sure feels like I’m late again. I button up the last button of my shirt, reach for my keys and well-worn wallet, put them in my saddlebag and throw it over my shoulder. I trot over to mom’s room, expecting her to be gone already. Her light is off, but I walk up to the door frame, staying just outside it to respect her slumbering state.

“Mom? I’m ‘bout to head to work. I love you.” I call to her, beginning to walk away from the door.

“You too, Scootaloo,” a somewhat husky voice whispers through the room. “I’ll see you soon.”

I pause. Whoa, is she hungover or something? I chuckle to myself at the ludicrous thought. Mom almost never drinks, and when she does it’s always very light drinking.

I ignore it, proceeding down the rather long hall to the front door. I unlock all seven deadbolts, open the door, and step through. I quickly glance outside. Things seemed eerily calm and grey this morning. Maybe there would be a big storm come through later. I step onto the decaying wooden patio,locking the knob on the way out. I dig into my saddlebag for my key, and upon finding it, lock four of the locks. I turned to trot to work.

Clopping hooves guided me down the path to my job. I pass a couple of walking, happy ponies with their tails entwined, and I quickly jerk my head forward. That only brings another mushy sight. Two pairs of smiling ponies, three mares in dresses, the stallion in a suit, all trotted towards me. I stop moving and close my eyes, trying to remain calm. I allow them to pass, but I don’t hear their hooves getting further. I slowly open my eyes and look up.

All around me, pairs of mares and stallions all trotted beside one another, hoof in hoof. My eyes turned to pinpricks as I shrieked in terror. I galloped to work holding back the waterworks.

The tears seemed to fade back into me as the adrenaline in my legs wore off, and soreness replaced it. Panting heavily, I resumed my previous pace. It turned out I had galloped most of the distance to work, so I got there within minutes of slowing down. The silhouettes of Polar Wind, the store owner, and Red Rider, a general service tech like me, stand in the lobby facing away from me, presumably clocking in. I step inside to a dark room; the lights were still not on. Odd. I look to the ground as I walk in. They both turn to me, and start trotting slowly towards me, but I pay no mind, looking back down.

“Scootaloo, I needed a set of tires on this lettuce cart done 15 minutes ago, why weren’t you here?” Polar asks irritably.

I jerk my head up to the digital clock in the corner of the lobby; 1:03, 1:02, 1:01. I look back to them, a look of disbelief across my face.

“I haven’t even clocked-” My protest stops short of itself and I gasp sharply.

Two faceless stallions tower over me, somehow still boring shame into me.

No.

Red’s low voice rumbles through the thick air, “I needed you on the top of it to repair the torn fabric roof, Scootaloo. But I guess you wouldn’t be able to do that anyway.”

“W-what, but-”

“You know, he’s right,” Polar Wind agreed. “I needed a pegasus pony to help get to the harder to reach parts of these wagons, so why would I have hired a pegasus who can’t even fly?”

Giving a single, unrestrained sob, I feel my knees give out. I can’t believe what I’m hearing, so I look back to hide the tears. But then, my eyes widen as I notice a distinct lack of feathery appendages.

No!

My eyes fill completely with tears as I look back down. The bottom of my vision causes me to look down further, to my chest.

A small, glowing but slowly dimming white orb is surrounded by black, flowing vines. The tendrils sprout out of the orb, encircle it, and recede back into the ghostly sphere. Gradually, my mind puts the pieces together.

The orb is me. The real me. It’s the frail, scared pegasus, whose desires and aspirations as a filly gently faded away with age until they were nearly crushed. The fear and worries of growing up were what caused the darkness in me… Actually, I can’t really play the blame game anymore.

I created the void inside. It was a mere illusion of my psyche. As my time kept tick, tick, ticking away, I had occasionally looked back on the past, focusing so hard on not letting the little things get to me.

As I gazed upon the orb, I saw through blurry eyes that the vines were restlessly growing outwards. The glow had been nearly faded away, and I tried to shut my eyes and think of something, anything except the obvious dream I was in. My tears, breathing, and heart rate increased rapidly, and the sobbing turned to damn near screaming. I screwed my eyes shut tightly. Not like it mattered.

I didn’t even need to see it. I could feel the darkness consume my body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The screaming sobs did not stop as I emerged from the dreamscape. I could very vaguely hear the chirping of birds outside on the spruce tree. My door flung open, revealing my very concerned mother. She scurried over to the side of my bed, and swiftly wrapped her arms around me as I laid on the bed. Her words barely registered as my screaming quieted down in her embrace.

“Scootaloo, sweetheart, it’s okay! Shhh, you’re okay babydoll...” I felt a pair of lips brush across my forehead as she continued to whisper reassurances to me. We stayed this way until my crying had died down enough for coherent speech.

“Feel any better, Scoots?” she asked patiently.

“Yea mo-” I hesitated, knowing she’d see right through me if I uttered anything except the truth.

“No…”

“What’s wrong then?” she questioned.

“I… I want to talk to Rainbow Dash,” I murmured. The quietest grumble met my ears. Mom never did like the fact that I trusted Dash with more than I trusted her, but she grew to accept it more as time went on.

My chest shuddered slightly with each intake of breath as I finally cracked opened my eyelids. “...but first, just please tell me you’re r-real.”

“What? Of course I’m real, sweetie, why wouldn’t I be?” She asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.

I sniffed loudly as I told her, “Don’t worry about it, Ma.” I glanced to the clock to find a normal time. 7:18 AM. I sniffled once more as I tapped mom’s back to let me sit up. She let go, and I remembered what time I was supposed to work that morning.

“Mom I gotta get ready for work,” I said, water still in my eyes. I had already disagreed with myself the second the words came from my mouth.

“Whoa, whoa, I don’t think so young lady.” She stated firmly, booping my muzzle with her hoof. “You are taking the day off, understood?”

“I had a feeling you’d say that.” I chuckled, the smallest of smirks gracing my lips. I grabbed my phone, this one being a larger device designed for the larger, clumsier hooves of Earth ponies and Pegasi. Scrolling through my contacts, I found Polar’s number and tapped the screen. I put the phone to my ear and waited.

Ring.

Ring.

Rin- “Thank you for calling Equestria’s Tire and Cart Repair, how can I help you?”

Immediately recognizing Polar Wind’s voice, I cut to the chase.

“Hey Pole, it’s Scootaloo.”

“Oh, good morning. What’s up, Scoot?”

“Boss, I… I really need to take today off, please.” The evidence of crying was obvious in my voice, but the sniffling made it very clear to him.

“Scootaloo, you’ve clocked fifty-three hours in the last four days, I’d be more than happy to give you the day off.” I sighed in relief. “I’ll call in a sub for ya, how’s that sound?”

“That sounds perfect. Thank you Pole, I really appreciate it…”

“Anytime Scoot. Enjoy your day!” I could almost hear the smile across the line as I hung up.

I looked toward mom. “I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you later though.”

“Alright sweetie.” She embraced me one more time after I got out of my bed. “I love you, Scoots.”

“Love you too, mom.” I trotted to the door, stepped through and closed it, and took flight to go see my big sister.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Knock knock knock knock.

Bouncing anxiously on my hooves, I patiently wait for Rainbow to answer the door. The cutie mark of hers above the door accented quite nicely with the rest of the house, rainbow waterfalls blending seamlessly with the cloud structure of her home. It was also just the right height from the ground to not create fog, and so that a quick flight is all it takes to get-

Seriously, where is this mare?

I move my hoof to reach up and give the door a few more raps, when I hear the lock slide inwards. The door opens to a very sleepy looking pegasus, apparently having just woken up.

The baggy-eyed mare looks towards me, and smiles, “Hey, Squirt.”

“Hey sis. I’m really sorry if I woke you up, I-I can come back later today if you want.” I stuttered, and stepped back.

She waves a hoof nonchalantly and steps aside, “Nah it’s cool, come in. I needed to get up any…” she doesn’t stop saying the word as she notices my face. “Whoooa. Scootaloo were you crying?” She guided me to the couch, gestures for me to sit down, and hops up right next to me.

I notice the genuine curiosity in her tone. She isn’t trying to ridicule me or make fun of me, she really cares. Even still, I can’t show how much her honesty means to me.

“N-no,” I fib and glance away.

Rainbow sees right through it and pulls me into a tight hug. “Don’t lie to me, Scootaloo.” Hell. She knows me too well…

She releases me from the embrace and glares directly into my eyes expectantly. I look away unable to meet her gaze. Hesitating for a few seconds, I finally let my guard down. “O-okay. I was crying, yeah. A-and I’m sorry for lying. I just wanted to be tough and cool like you,” I smirk, “even if you do bawl like a foal sometimes, heh…” I jest. I catch a slug to the shoulder for that one, but she can’t deny it.

“Oh shut it, kid!” She scolds lightly and blushes.

“Rainbow Dash, I am a refined, and mature adult,” I state firmly with my chest out and chin up. I can’t hold such a facade for long, and within seconds I devolve into a baser, gigglier mare.

“Heh heh, whatever you say kiddo. We’re getting off-topic though.” My lips immediately curve down at my failed attempt to change the subject. “Why were you crying?

“Um… I had a really bad dream.” Squeezing my eyes shut, I look away, expecting a chuckle or a laugh that never came.

Instead she puts a warm, inviting wing around me. “What was it about?”

“Well, it was really like a dream within a dream... within another dream. Like that one really weird movie. And I don’t remember what happened chronologically, so I’ll just tell you as it comes to me.” A soft, vivid mane lay on my own, and I look up a bit to see Rainbow close her eyes. Taking my cue, I hesitate before continuing. “A lot of weird stuff was going on. There was a part where I was going to work, and when I got there, in the first dream there was a shadow in the window, and I didn’t see it at first. But it was shaped like a filly. Then she was asking for help, and a hole opened up in the ground and I fell in. Then I woke up in the next part of the dream. Everything was-”

“Whoa whoa, slow down,” Rainbow Dash interrupts, eyes closed at this point. “Was it like, your reflection?”

“I think so. “ I hesitate, “But it couldn’t have been me, I mean, I am orange.”

“Sis, in a dream- ahh, how do I say this… in a dream, your reflection tends to be, uhm… not what you look like on the outside.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re dreams have a tendency to show the real you, to yourself.” She pauses as if racking her brain for information. “Ahh… like, if you’re hiding something you don’t want others to see. Kinda like how you used to be when you hung out with me!” She teases.

I give a hearty chuckle at that, but it soon disappears. She was right. I don’t like to show the other side of myself… Hiding it is the only way I’ve known. I feel weak when others see that.

I stutter a response, “W-when Applebloom got her cutie mark, Sweetie Belle and I were really happy for her. A couple days later, Sweetie got hers. We were happy. I mean, yea I may not have had mine yet, but I figure it couldn’t have been too long before I got it. But Rainbow... seven months of effort went by with no cutie mark. I just…” the lump in my throat makes it harder to continue, “I started to think I’d be a blank flank forever.”

She wraps both forelegs around me in a second. “But you did, Scootaloo. Just like I knew you would. It was only a matter of time. And can you really say you regretted the time you spent trying to get it?” She asks.

I think for a moment, remembering back to my childhood, “No.”

“Exactly,” she concurs. “It’s not always the journey, it’s the… wait, no. It’s not always the destination, it’s the journey. What do you remember most, all the time spent with your friends trying to get your cutie mark? Or finally getting it?”

Wow. She puts it so well. "Um... I really can’t remember much about getting my mark, except how it happened, that I was really happy, and that I immediately went to show my fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders. Other than that I don’t remember too much. But I definitely remember the time when I tried ziplining, ended up falling, and just didn’t care. Then we tried being in a band, and it failed after we uh... had creative differences. But we still didn’t care.” I smile brightly, realizing what Rainbow Dash meant. Wait… “Hang on. Where did you learn all this stuff, anyway?” I inquire.

She turns her head and darts her eyes away, “Um… well I went to Manehattan University. Got my Associate’s in Weather Management. But part my class requirements was that I take a Psychology class,” she explains. “The teacher’s name was Psych, and honestly I think he might have been a little cuckoo.”

I look at her in disbelief, “That’s weird. How did you have the patience to go through college?”

“I didn’t.”

I smirk, “Figured.”

She shakes me firmly back and forth and rolls her eyes. “Moving on… When was the last time you saw them?”

“Who?”

“Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, ya doofus.”

“Oh, right! Ah, I think it’s been… well if I count my birthday…” I contemplate, “I think like ten months?”

“And you don’t think that might be causing a problem?”

“Well not really, we still see each other. Sometimes. Like, I ran into them on the way to work one morning and said hello.”

She deadpans at me. “You should call them after you leave. See if they’re free, and try to actually hang out with them a bit. I’m pretty sure they’ll appreciate it.” She smiles down at me like I'm a kid, but I don’t mind. “Okay, so what happened next?”

“Okay, so in the next dream, I woke up, but I felt a little shorter. And it wasn’t as hard to put my uniform on. I got out the door to go to work, and all these couples started doing mushy, romantic stuff, a-and I didn’t want to look at them, so I turned away to go the other direction.” I grimace. “I looked up, and this filly that looked just like me was being all lovey-dovey with a shadow-pony, I guess is what it was. But she was gunna kiss the shadow, and it grew vine-y shadows and absorbed her into it’s body! It was super weird, and it really scared me. Then I woke up in the next dream,” I finish.

She gives me a knowing smile, “So having described this to me, what do you think I’m going to ask?”

Sensing her sarcasm, I throw in a bit of my own. “‘What the heck is wrong with you Scootaloo?’” I mock in my best raspy Rainbow Dash voice.

“Well yeah, but less dick-ish. Anyways, answer the question.”

“Okay, but this is just super embarrassing to say out loud, even to myself…”

She shakes her head politely, smirking, “It’s alright Squirt, I’m here to talk you through what’s troubling you, not judge you.” I feel a wing tighten around my back.

I prepare myself, hanging my head low. “I-I’m... really lonely.”

“What? How are you lonely?” I look up, and her face conveys genuine confusion. “You’ve got me, your mom, Applebloom and Sweetie B-”

“N-no, not like that, Rainbow,” I interrupt. “I just… I want somepony to hold me, to guard me, and be my rock. I want a colt to wake up next to, and snuggle with in the mornings, and come home to to watch movies with and do the dishes together."

I squeeze my eyes shut, expecting her to guffaw, to tell me that I don’t need anyone else to be the coolest mare in Equestria, to tell me it’s shameful to even think that way, to kick me out of her house, or, or… Why haven’t I heard any of this yet?

“Yeah, I had a feeling that’s what you meant. And I…” Dash looks apprehensive, and the faintest hint of red is painted across her featrures. “I kind of have the same feeling from time to time. As awesome as I can be on my own, I-I’d sure like somepony like that sometimes,” she says quietly.

I look towards her with relief, “Really?”

“Yeah. But uh… d-don’t tell anypony about that, okay? It’s personal…”

“Of course, Rainbow.”

“So what happened next?” She asks.

"In the last one, it was really hard to stretch my neck to get my work shirt, and I had no problem putting it on. Then I was going to work, and when I got there, my coworker and boss were telling me about how much work I was late for. And it was a lot. Then they were telling me how…,” my heart aches as I sniffle, and my lip quivers a bit with the moisture coming from my eyes, “h-how they’d hired a pegasus to get up in high spots, but that since my wings weren’t grown that I was useless, and they were really tall…” I give up on forming sentences, and I'm freely bawling like a child at this point. “Then this orb in my chest was getting really dark, and I just c-couldn’t take it Rainbow Dash! I curled up, and I woke up in my real bed, and I was screaming, and mom came in, and I had to ask it if was the real her…” I begin to calm slightly, “and when I finally started to chill out, I said I would come see you to talk about it… And here I am.” I let out a breath I don't know I'm holding in.

“That’s… quite a dream Scootaloo. Or, a set of dreams, I dunno. But anyway, are you still sad about your wings? I thought you’d gotten over that years ago.” She looks at me questioningly.

“Of course I’m still upset. Why wouldn’t I be? Sure I never show it, but I just don’t want anyone to worry about me. I know they’re fully developed now, but it still hurts to think about being the last pegasus my age to get there.” I hang my head in shame, despite not having had any control over the situation.

Rainbow rolls her eyes and shakes her head, “It’s really nothing to be sad over. You aren’t the only one who was a bit underdeveloped for her age. I mean look at me. I was a really small filly, but I made up for it with my speed. And with my dashing good looks, heh.”

“I guess that’s one way to look at it… but still, I don’t want this feeling to last forever.”

“It won’t. You’ll meet a nice stallion, and they’ll love you the way you’ve hoped for for so long. So no need to worry,” She reassures me.

“Okay…” I continue to look downtrodden. “But Dash, I still… I want…”

“I know,” She interrupts. “Tell you what; if you want, and you’re okay with it, you can stay here and cuddle with me for as long as you want. Or until we get hungry. From sister to sister. I’ve eaten already, so no worries there.”

“Would you be cool with that? I-I don’t want to bother you…” I look up to her and shuffle nervously.

“I’m always cool with that Scoots, and you could never bother me.” She smiles warmly.

I reach up and hug her firmly, “Thanks Dash… I really do appreciate it.”

“No problem, Squirt. But um, lemme put on a movie first.” She taps my back to let her get up, and trots carefully over the detritus on the cloud floor to the T.V. stand. “Anything you wanna watch?”

I think for a moment. “Do you have Flanksplosions 3?”

“Hay yeah I do! I’ve got the whole series. Except the dumb little spin-off they did, that was terrible,” she says with a sour look.

I chuckle a bit at that. “I gotta agree with you. They may not be the best written movies out there, but that was low for them.” I watch her put the disc in the tray of the enchanted disc player.

“Alright, scooch on over.” I obey, and she sprawls on the couch, resting her head on a Daring Do throw pillow. I climb right up and lay in front of her, settling in close. She wraps her forelegs around me, nuzzling into my neck a bit. I can’t believe how warm she is.

I close my eyes and smile a quiet smile, “I really needed this Rainbow, thank you.”

Her forelegs tighten slightly. “You aren’t the only one Scoots.”

I hold her legs close to my chest, and sigh. Her warm embrace makes it seem like the next few years won’t be so bad.

“I love you Rainbow Dash.”

“Love you too Scoots.”

Author's Note

Mostly written in a bout of strong depression, and while listening to The Fragile album, by Nine Inch Nails. Like 20 times.

Anyway, let me know if you find any errors, or have constructive criticism to give. Hope you all enjoyed, and thanks for reading. :rainbowkiss: