The Equestrian Event

“Ow…”

This was the first thought that came into Jay’s head as he began to wake up. It was clear he was lying on something hard and flat. Most likely a wooden floor. It wasn’t helping his already persisting bouts with pain.

Jay struggled for a while to regain his senses before noticing the sound of voices nearby. He was also now aware that it was rather difficult to move his arms. It felt as though they had been bound together behind his back with a coarse material. Jay opened his eyes just enough so he could see who was talking.

He could tell that they were still in the library’s main room. Huddled in a circle with their backs to him were six ponies of different colors, all of whom the human recalled meeting earlier that day.

“Well,” Jay thought. “Looks like Twilight got the whole gang together.”

He refrained from struggling against his restraints and listened to the conversation that was taking place.

“-told us what he did! Just look at this mess! We can’t trust him.”

This was, without a doubt, Rainbow Dash who was speaking, her voice steadily rising with each passing word.

“It is rather awful,” Fluttershy said. Her voice was sweet, yet frail when compared to the tension in the room.

“But he was so nice earlier,” Pinkie said. “He didn’t seem so, you know, insane.”

“Your right, Pinkie,” Applejack said. “But I’m not sure what to think about him now that this has happened.”

“We can’t trust him,” Dash repeated. “What if he decides to kill us?”

“Doesn’t that sound a bit far fetched?” Applejack asked, taking off her hat to scratch her head. “What about you, Twi? Got any ideas?”

“I have no clue,” Twilight sighed in defeat. “This kind of thing doesn’t happen around here. Maybe we should...”

“Could I interject for a second?” Jay said, causing all of the ponies to jump in fright.

“He’s awake!” Dash exclaimed.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Jay groaned. “A bit difficult to sleep with all of you talking. How long was I out?”

“About an hour,” Twilight said. “Jay, what happened?”

“I felt the sudden and overwhelming urge to take a nap,” Jay grunted as he sat up against the wall. “So, why are they all here? And who’s bright idea was it to tie me up?”

“Mine,” Dash said with a smug expression. “We didn’t want you to try to pull any sort of tricks.”

“Well,” Jay said, wrestling with the bindings around his hands. “Speaking of tricks, how's this for one?”

He lifted a hand from behind his back, a length of torn cloth dangling from his left arm.

“He got free!” Pinkie shouted in panic.

“Again,” Jay said, getting to his feet. “What a crack team of detectives you are. Where’s the dog?”

“Rarity is watching him,” Twilight answered. “They’re in the kitchen.”

“And with all the whining she’s giving him, I’d bet he’s about ready to break,” Applejack said.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” Jay said, casting off the fabric that hung from his wrists. He looked down at his watch to check the time.

“Otherwise, I’ll break his bones fairly quickly,” he mumbled.

“That sounds rather extreme...” Fluttershy whimpered. “And violent.”

“What did you do with my gun?” Jay asked.

“We got rid of it,” Twilight stated abruptly, casting a sideways glance at a nearby bookshelf.

"Right..." Jay mumbled.

“We’re not taking any chances with you,” Dash sneered.

She was now doing her best to stare down Jay, flapping her wings to stay above eye level.

“Again,” Jay said, meeting the pegasus’s gaze. “Why are you here?”

He stood in silence, unblinking, until Dash moved out of his way. Once she did, Jay turned his attention to Twilight.

“How's Spike doing?” he asked.

“He’s still unconscious,” Twilight said. “They hit him pretty hard.”

“Probably wouldn’t have wanted him squirming if they were planning on kidnapping y’all,” Applejack suggested.

“Is that so?” Jay asked, raising an eyebrow. He turned to address the entire group.

“I take it Twilight let you know that those dogs were here to kill us? Because, how could anyone let that little fact slip by?”

“Wait, really?” Pinkie asked in shock. “We just assumed that-“

“That I’m just murderer?” Jay interjected. He spoke firmly, but didn’t raise his voice.

“That’s what the general consensus was, right? What am I saying, of course it was!” Jay laughed.

“The pups had their chance to leave, but they didn’t take it. Any questions?”

None of the ponies said anything, all of them feeling rather uncomfortable and somewhat stunned.

“Good,” Jay said. “Now, I suppose it’s about time I reveal my big secret or something. I’m only going to go over this once. Are you all listening?”

The ponies looked up at Jay and nodded their heads, all except for Dash, who merely who contented herself with staring at the floorboards.

“Okay then,” Jay said. “I’ll be right back.”

He walked over to the basement door and unlocked it before making another trip into the darkness.

Twilight and the others listened as he did this. From below, they heard a mixture thumping and rattling, along with some cursing. Jay’s head rose into view as he stumbled back up the stairs, lugging the large black chest he and Spike had carried down the other night. He toted it over to the center of the group and set it down with a grunt.

Taking a knee in front of the chest, Jay placed one hand on each of the two silver latches. He flipped them upward, each releasing with a snap. Jay stood up and opened the lid with the tip of his boot. The group of ponies gathered around to see what was inside.

“The big reveal… is your drink cooler?” Twilight asked.

The contents of the chest was exactly the same as what it had been the first night that Twilight met Jay: A mound of ice covering a few cans of soft drink.

“More or less,” Jay said. He reached into the center of the ice pile, scattering it to reveal a black handle.

“Probably more.”

Jay gripped the handle and gave it a slow turn. The chest let out a mechanical hiss and the mound of ice rose above the edges of the container on a small shelf, revealing an array of devices underneath.

“This is just a fun way to hide some of my toys,” Jay explained, removing the shelf and setting it on the floor. He snatched one of the cans from the pile of ice and cracked it open.

“Oh, my sweet babies,” Jay said. He took a long drink from the can. “How I’ve missed you so.”

“What is all this stuff?” Twilight asked, peering into the container.

“Just some essentials,” Jay said after taking another drink from the can. “Signal transponder, trauma kit, gaming system, etcetera.”

“What are you going to do with it all?” Fluttershy asked timidly.

“For now, I’m going to make a call,” Jay said, setting his drink on the ground.

He dug through the chest and pulled out a thin, rectangular device, which was about the size of his notebook.

“And, hopefully, I’ll be able to figure out how to stop feeling so shit-faced.”

Jay laid the device flat against the library floor and pressed a button on its edge, powering it on. The device proceeded to project a series of numbers and symbols into the air above it, all of them dancing within a suspended cloud of light.

The ponies in the room watched with a faint sense of awe.

While this happened, Jay reached back into the chest and lifted out a black briefcase with a red cross marking its side. He set this down a few feet from the screen and stood with his hands on his hips.

Then, a voice began to emanate from the device.

“Enter authorization code to initiate direct communication,” the voice said. It sounded female, but it was cold; absent of emotion.

Jay took a deep breath and whistled the tune that had been running through his head off and on for the past six months. The light above the device pulsed as a beeping emitted from the speaker.

“Authorization code ‘Popcorn’ recognized,” the device said. “Establishing direct communication.”

“Gah ha!” Jay shouted, snapping his fingers. “I knew it started with a ‘p’!”

“What is he talking about?” Pinkie whispered to Twilight.

“I have no idea,” Twilight sighed.

The light above the device was now beginning to morph into three-dimensional objects. Eventually, it formed into the shape of a single snowflake. The flake floated lazily in the air as a multitude smaller flakes drifted around it.

A new voice spoke from the device, also female, but soft and childlike.

“Hello, sir,” it said. “How are you doing today?”

“I’ve had better,” Jay said, addressing the snowflake. “How are you, Ice?”

“Wonderful as ever, sir!” the voice replied joyfully. “Are these the friends you were talking about?”

“You could say that,” Jay said, turning to face the ponies. They were all captivated by the talking snowflake.

“Ponies, meet Ice. Ice meet, ponies,” Jay said.

“It’s so nice to meet you all!” Ice said excitedly, the image of the flake pulsating brightly.

“Why are we talking to a snowflake?” Dash asked. “And what does this have to do with anything?”

“That’s just her visual representation,” Jay explained casually. “She’s an artificial intelligence. Ice is just an acronym for ‘Intelligent Computer Entity.’ The holographic snowflake seemed fitting with the name."

“I like it,” Ice said, flipping through the air.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ice,” Twilight said, rushing the conversation. “But, the question still stands. Why are we talking to you?”

“Ice has been monitoring the Marker signal strength in the surrounding area,” Jay said. “She also practically runs my ship and everything else I need her help with.”

“I’m sorry, but, did we miss out on something?” Applejack asked. “I thought you were some sort of fancy consultant or something.”

“Right,” Jay said, shaking his head. “I didn’t tell you guys about all that. Okay, quick update. I’m a space faring idiot who hunts Markers. I was assigned to an experimental ship before shit hit the fan back home. Ice was a new A.I. designed to run the ship. So, for the past eleven years, we’ve been traveling from system to system in search of Marker signals. Your system had trace amounts of such signal and, lo and behold, we found one. Any questions?”

“Oh,” Pinkie said, the rest of the group trying to fathom the situation. “That makes sense!”

“Glad to hear it. Remind me to give you a more in depth explanation later,” Jay said as he opened the black case with the red cross on it.

Inside was an assortment of medical devices, from syringes to scalpels. Jay pulled out a syringe that sported a small digital display and walked over to Ice’s hologram.

“Ice,” Jay said, holding up the needle. “I need you to run a medical diagnostic. Give me a good once over and check some blood work. Can you do that for me?”

“Feeling a little under the weather, sir?” Ice asked. “In that case, extract a sample for testing and face the scanner for full diagnosis.”

Jay stretched out his arm and squeezed his fist a few times to get the blood flowing. He then inserted the syringe into a vein in his forearm. The electronic display of the syringe flashed green and Jay removed the needle, a trickle of blood rolling down his skin.

“Analyzing sample,” Ice said. A small holographic chart came up next to her, filling with numbers and symbols.

“Please step in front of the scanner for further testing.”

Jay stood in front of the display, spreading his legs and arms apart. A small wave of light rolled over him from the device on the ground.

“Testing complete,” Ice said. A separate chart appeared below the original.

“What’s the word doc?” Jay asked, taking a bandage from the case and placing it over the prick in his arm.

“Diagnosis shows that you have low blood sugar,” Ice chirped.

“Is that it?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

“She likes to save the bad news for last,” Jay said. “Go ahead Ice, let’s see the real damage.”

“Scans register enhanced cellular degradation due to prolonged exposure to xeno-class signal radiation,” Ice said. “Areas of the brain affected include the medulla, the mesencephalon, and most of the cerebrum. If this ailment goes untreated, your condition will worsen and lead to paralysis or death.”

“Huh,” Jay said, reading over the charts. “That’s a bit of an inconvenience.”

“You diagnosed all that from one scan?” Twilight asked, amazed at the technology. “That’s incredible!”

“What does all this fancy talk mean?” Applejack asked. “The only thing I understood was the ‘paralysis and death’ part.”

“Exposure to Marker signals for more than ten years may have had some side effects,” Jay said. “Seems like they caught up with me.”

“Is that why you’re so weird?” Dash asked.

“Not entirely,” Ice giggled. “He’s always like that, due in part to post traumatic stress, cabin fever, and years without social interaction. If I wasn’t around to keep him company, there is a high chance that he would have become a victim of suicidal tendencies. Not to mention the lack of s-”

“Anyway,” Jay said, interrupting Ice. “How do I treat this?”

“Like I told you five years, two hundred fifty-seven days, four hours, thirty-two minutes, and fifteen seconds ago, we still have no way to combat the degenerative process,” Ice explained. “You can only continue keep it in check with neural boosting supplements, unless you find a way to regenerate the damaged cells.”

“Just thought I should ask again,” Jay said, scratching his chin.

“Sorry sir,” Ice said. “As of now, we can only continue to delay the inevitable, but you are becoming immune to most of the supplements you have already been treated with.”

“Did you say, ‘regenerate the cells’?” Twilight asked, now standing by Jay’s side.

“Yeah,” Jay said, looking down at the unicorn. “Unless we completely get rid of the dead cells, the sickness will keep spreading like it has been… Why do you ask?”

“Well…” Twilight said. “It may be a long shot, but, I’ve been working on a spell.”

“What kind of spell?” Jay asked, intrigued.

“Clover the Clever’s regeneration spell,” Twilight said.

“You can’t be serious,” Dash huffed.

“Does it work?” Jay asked.

“I’ve only tested it on dead flowers,” Twilight said, thinking back to the other morning. “But it might work for you too.”

Jay stood in silence and mulled over the prospect.

“All right, let’s do it,” Jay said.

“Really?” Twilight asked.

“What the hell,” Jay said, shrugging his shoulders. “If it fails, the worst that happens is that I die.”

“I- I’ll get my notes,” Twilight said, trotting off to retrieve her documents.

“Are we really going to help him?” Dash asked.

“Are you sure about this, sir?” Ice asked, her image shrinking.

“Sure,” Jay said, finding a wooden chair and taking a seat.

“It’ll be fun.”

******

“Fucking hell!” Jay growled through gritted teeth.

“Stop squirming,” Twilight huffed. A wavering stream of magic flowed from her horn and engulfed Jay’s head.

“It feels like someone is dragging hot barbed wire through my skull,” Jay grunted. “If there was ever a time to bitch, it would be now!”

“Why does he swear so much?” Fluttershy whispered to Applejack.

“Maybe it’s more common where he comes from,” Applejack suggested.

“Almost… done!” Twilight said, the stream of magic disappearing with a brilliant flash. She dropped to the floor with a gasp, sweat pouring down her face.

Jay slumped forward and put his hands to his head.

“Ice,” he groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Did it work?”

“Scanning,” Ice said. Another beam of light rolled over Jay. “Preliminary scans show that all traces of infection are absent.”

“Wait, really?” Jay asked in surprise, sitting up.

“You have a clean bill of health,” Ice said, cheerfully. “Though, I still recommend consumption supplement packets. Just a few minutes ago, your cells were too damaged to repair, even with the most advanced technology available.”

“You mean to tell me that my incurable brain sickness was just fixed by a magical spell from a talking purple horse?” Jay asked, cautiously getting to his feet. “That is literally one of the worst deu-.”

He abruptly fell to his knees and proceeded to vomit the contents of his stomach onto the wooden floor. When he had finished heaving, he shakily stood up and wiped his mouth.

“Sorry about that,” he huffed. “Must be a side effect. Uh, thanks, Twilight.”

“Glad I could help,” Twilight said, grimacing.

“What are you planning to do now that you’re all better?” Dash asked.

“Better is a relative term,” Jay said. “Though, I think it’s about time that I had a chat with our new friend.”

“Good luck with that,” Rarity said, entering from the kitchen. “I can’t get that ruffian to say a single word.”

She looked Jay over with an expression of mild reproach.

“Feeling better, are we?”

“Much, thanks for asking,” Jay said. “If you want the word on what’s been happening, talk to them.” He pointed at the other ponies in the room.

“I’ll see if I can persuade Fido to spill his guts. If he doesn’t, I’ll do it for him.”

“You’re not using that gun of yours,” Dash commanded.

“Fine,” Jay said. He walked over to the two black bags that were still sitting at the foot of the stairs. He reached into the one that was unzipped and pulled out a silver object with a black grip. In his other hand, he withdrew two golden capsules of different sizes.

“What’s that?” Dash asked, eyeing the items with suspicion.

“Well, automatics are good for a lot of situations,” Jay said. “But, I find that a revolver is much more fitting for interrogations.”

“And… What does that mean?” Dash asked.

“It means, I’m not using that gun,” Jay said as he walked toward the kitchen.

“Ice, play audio log: ‘Four Thousand Five Hundred Twenty-Six’ for our friends, would you? Perhaps it’ll help them to understand our situation a bit better.”

“Yes sir,” Ice said. Jay’s voice began to play from her speaker, restating the conversation with Luna from the night before.

“Just give me a minute,” Jay said as he pushed open the kitchen door.

“This shouldn’t take long.”