00-Pinkie

by Lloyd Shamrock

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Other, Original Character, Equestria Girls, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1852

Pinkie and Rainbow are spying on Crystal Prep to know their strategies for the Friendship Games, and a bunch of known troublemakers are gonna help them. Will they succeed? (Collaboration with Golden Flare)

Pinkie and Rainbow are preparing to spy on Crystal Prep Academy, so they know all their tricks for the Friendship Games, and they aren't gonna do it alone! Lloyd Shamrock, Blue JD, and a newcomer, Golden Flare, Lloyd's brother, are going to help them!

Knowing Lloyd and Blue's track record, will this end in failure, as usual? Or will they taste victory for once?

A short collaboration with Golden Flare.

Published 2015-08-14 22:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-14 22:20:02 UTC

Operation: Crystal Prep

Canterlot High School... 2:35 PM...

Lloyd and his brother Golden Flare were walking to the exit of CHS to finish up for a school project that Miss Cheerilee assigned all the students to do before the Friendship games were announced. After they left the school, Lloyd was boiling mad.

"Teachers, who invented them!?"

"Bro."

"I mean, honestly, how can you do a assignment when it's due tomorrow!? And she said I can't hang around with my friends, because Red raped her in the classroom, Purple spun around in a computer chair and Blue... she got me on that one."

"Bro."

I rather drink till I forget all this schoolwork. I should be playing Final Fantasy X2 or Castlevania 64 than do homework." Lloyd took a deep breath. "Sorry about that outburst back there, bro. I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now, I mean teachers telling the students to do an assignment tomorrow, you know? I didn't mean to snap."

"It's alright."

"Thanks."

"Hey, Lloyd, look." Golden pointed at the bushes, they saw Pinkie and Rainbow walked to the school to avoid cover.

"Should we follow them?" Lloyd asked.

"Yes, we should. If my calculations are correct, they should be heading to Crystal Prep High School." Blue JD showed up behind them wearing his glasses.

"All right, let's go." Lloyd said as he, Golden, and Blue JD sneakily followed them without being seen, and then... This is where their mission begins.

Crystal Prep High School... 2:55 PM...

"Crystal Prep High School, the competition." Rainbow snuck into the bushes, then leaped into another one, spun to another bush, then jumped to a tree branch while swinging around it and placed her hand to catch the ground and looked around to her surroundings. and rolled into another bush to avoid being seen by the Crystal Prep students running by. She stuck her head out of the bushes for a quick second, then, got back down and went to the tree next to the bush, and jumped into another bush.

She stuck her head out again to take a look around to see the competition.

"HEY RAINBOW!" Pinkie greeted loudly, making Rainbow jump in surprise as she was just under her, hiding in the bushes with her hair dyed the same color as the foliage.

"Gah! Pinkie, what are you doing?" She whispered while looking around to make sure no one spotted them.

"You said we needed to be sneaky while we check out the competition for the Friendship Games."

Rainbow quickly grabbed Pinkie and pulled her to the tree to avoid the students from seeing her.

"Wanna see what else I have?" Pinkie rushed.

"Cat burglar!" Pinkie was wearing a black spy uniform with night vision goggles, and a grappling hook launcher along her waist, which she used to latch onto something and launcher herself through the air.

"Dog burglar!" She put on a mask that looks like Twilight's pet dog, and then she started to burrow underground.

"Tree!" She dressed up as a tree from a middle school play while waving her branch-looking arms around.

"Bunny suit!" She leaped from the bushes and was wearing a bunny costume.

"Camouflage!" She was wearing a pink camo suit and cap.

"That's like the opposite of camouflage." Rainbow harshly whispered, then glanced at the group of Crystal Prep students headed their way, "Quick, get down!" Rainbow pushed Pinkie into a bush and she hid behind a nearby tree.

Meanwhile... at another layer of bushes behind Rainbow and Pinkie...

"Do you see them?" Lloyd asked.

"Yes, apparently, Pinkie's changing disguises somehow." Blue JD described.

"Ah... That's my girl right there." Golden replied.

"A-Anyway." Blue JD starts to continue his explanation. "I have a plan to bring those two back, the best strategy is to-"

"HI!" Pinkie chirped, somehow appearing behind them.

"-Talk faster." Blue JD finished.

"What are you guys doing here!?" Rainbow whispered.

"Well, we saw you two sneaking off and decided to bring you guys back." Golden answered.

"Wait, where's JD and his brother, Devin?" She asked.

"Devin had to take JD to the hospital." Blue JD answered again.

"What happened to him?" Pinkie whispered.

"Food poisoning." Lloyd answered.

"How did get food poisoning?" Rainbow asked.

"Well..." Blue JD scratched the back of his head.

At the Hospital... Three hours ago...

JD was laying in a hospital bed with his arms hooked to a IV bag and a heart monitor, next to JD was his younger brother Devin who was freaking out and shouting out his version of a movie reference.

"NOOOOOOO! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW HIM UP! DAMN YOU, BURGER KING! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

Standing by the door was the doctor, Red JD, Purple JD, and Lyra was here too, but she was next to JD, showering him with kisses. The doctor looked confused, Red JD was snickering while recording Devin's over-the-top reaction, Lyra was crying as she continued to kiss her boyfriend, and Purple JD had his hands over his mouth in shock.

"Um... He does realize his brother will be released in less than a week right?" The doctor asks.

"Shh! Quiet, I'm trying to record his cries so Aria can masturbate to it." Red said.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to give me the camera."

"Fuck you, bitch! I can do what I want!"

"Sir, give me the camera." The doctor tried to take the camera but Red punched him and kicked him in the stomach and his nuts, respectively. Then, he made a run for it.

"Nurse, I need some help! Stop that horny bastard from escaping!" The doctor called out.

"The strangest part is that the camera was still recording when Red ran through the hospital, it was the worst thing we've seen on YouTube." Lloyd said.

"Because Devin was freaking out about JD's food poisoning?" Rainbow guessed.

"Because all the nurses were raped! No one wanted to stop him, because they were too busy being scarred for life, and Red was too busy stealing all the women's virginities!" Lloyd clenched his fist.

"...Okay, once we're done here, I'm gonna have a nice long talk with him." Rainbow growled.

Rainbow got back up from the bushes to take a look, but she couldn't see far away.

"We need to get a better view."

Surprise and panic filled Rainbow, Blue, and Lloyd's being when she heard rustling and somehow began to hover in the air. Pinkie managed to blow up several balloons and tied them to her waist and unknowingly placed them just below the unlikely trio and they began to float just above their hiding spot with Pinkie holding Golden by his hips.

"Best view in the house!" Pinkie declared.

They watched doing series of exercises; sit-ups, running the track, and doing push-ups, but for some reason they don't even looked winded.

"They're not even breaking a sweat!" Lloyd quietly exclaimed.

"How can that be!?" Blue asked.

"Whataya mean 'how'? Isn't it your job to explain this sort of thing?" Rainbow accused.

"Right, but I can't analyze something without data." Blue took his index finger and pushed the center of his glasses against the bridge of his nose.

Slightly panicked, Rainbow started to pop one balloon with her finger, then popped another, and quickly popped all the balloons without realizing that she's up in the air while Blue glared in Lloyd's direction.

"You're the devil." Blue stated.

"AHHHHHH!" Lloyd screamed as they fell back into the bushes.

The coach looked behind as he blew his whistle, but didn't see anything.

Back in the bushes, Lloyd felt something soft pressed on his lips, but his eyes were closed. Rainbow clamped her eyes shut upon landing, so she didn't see what pressed up against her lips. When she finally opened her eyes and as Lloyd did the same, they noticed what was on their lips: each other. Their eyes went wide, "AHHHH-" Pinkie covered Rainbow's mouth and Blue covered Lloyd's mouth to muffle their screaming. A lone, yellow balloon was floating out of the bushes, but Rainbow grabbed it and deflated it with her hands and threw it away.

Pinkie took a whiff at Rainbow. "You smell like vanilla." She said.

"S-She does?" Lloyd's cheeks were red as he scratched the back of his head.

"We're trying to eavesdrop, that means THEY don't hear us!"

"Oooh! I have just the thing!"

A male Crystal Prep student was doing sit-ups while a female Crystal Prep student was holding his feet down. Just above them, Pinkie was dangling a boom mic while wearing a pair of headphones, listening to the male's heavy breathing.

Pinkie was adjusting the volume on her headphones when Rainbow whisper-shouted, "What are you DOING!?" Rainbow was getting so frustrated, that she didn't realize she was raising her voice a little high, "We're trying to spy on them! Do you even know what 'spy' means!?"

Golden smirked as he held a steaming, foam cup, "Drink coffee?"

"NO!"

"To point at each other and make it feel awkward?" Lloyd pointed at Golden for a few seconds before drawing his hand back, "...This is awkward."

"Actually, the word 'spy' means-" Blue began before he got cut off.

"It means being sneaky!" Rainbow began to rant as she tossed aside Pinkie's boom mic, "It means not being seen! It means BEING QUIET!!" Rainbow yelled so loud that the Crystal Prep students heard her, even the coach saw Lloyd, Blue, and Golden standing next to her.

Lloyd broke the silence, "Hi, how's it going?"

"Bush to Dash, code red, you have been spotted." Pinkie said as she picked up the bush she was in up to her midsection and spun her legs like wheels as fast as she could, "RUUUUUUUUUN!!"

Rainbow Dash made a break for it, Lloyd ran fast as his legs could carry him, followed behind him was Blue JD and Golden, who were just walking, "I am frustrated by the current situation." Blue said before he turned to face Golden with a phone in his hand. "You took a photo of Rainbow and Lloyd kissing while they were unconscious, did you?"

"Yep, so what now?"

"First, let's check JD and see how he's doing in the hospital, then..." Blue and Golden said in unison while they stared at the photo; "This goes viral."

The Next Day...At the Hospital...

"Sooooo... guess what we just found on the internet." Rainbow demanded.

"I know, dude, that was-" Rainbow and Lloyd scowled as their cheeks turned flaming red from anger and embarrassment, "wrong," Devin continued, "very wrong, I'll scold Golden about it later."

"I'll say it. That was fucking funny." JD said as he was laying in the hospital bed while Lyra was comforting him by rubbing his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

Author's Note

Some of the dialogue in this was referenced from the following:

Ed, Edd, n Eddy
Robot Chicken
Kill la Kill
Kill la Kill - Bloopers
Planet of the Apes
Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds Abridged
Over The Hedge
Phoenix Wright Bullshit Evolved from Machinima
Persona 4 Abridged