A crusader's journey

by Rarity Is Mah Favorite

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 1828

I dunno what to type.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-10 18:27:55 UTC

Dying instead of life

Standing behind the podium, Apple Bloom cleared her throat to gain the other Crusaders' attention. Nobody noticed. She cleared her throat again. No answer. She tried this a few more times and nobody even glanced at her. She decided she needed to do the 'attention grabber' yell.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AN' LISTEN!" Apple Bloom yelled. Everyone turned their heads to Apple Bloom so quickly, they got whiplash.

"Ahem. Ah have an' idea! One very crazy that could kill us or give us life. Now this here's th' plan........"

"An' then we make it a weddin'." Apple Bloom finished. The crusaders stared at her.

"So you're sayin' that we fake our own deaths with Sweetie Belle's magic, run away, get jobs, live in a cave, and make our funerals a wedding?" Scootaloo said.

"Eeyup!"

"How exactly do we fake our own deaths?" Rumble asked.

"Easy! Sweetie Belle makes clones o' us an we kill 'em!"

"Exactly how do we kill them?" Pip asked.

"We stab 'em."

"Where will we hide the bodies?" Button asked.

"In this clubhouse!" Apple Bloom said happily. Sweetie Belle's eyes met Apple Bloom's.

"When do we start?"

One clone of each crusader sat in the clubhouse.

"I call killing Button's clone!" Pip announced.

"I'm killin' Rumble's!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

"Scootaloo's!" Rumble said.

"Pip!" Button announced.

"Apple Bloom!" Sweetie Belle said, leaving Apple Bloom to kill Sweetie Belle's.

"Alright. Put on gloves, grab a knife, an' start stabbin'!"

The crusaders slashed the clones and plunged the knifes in the clones. After Scootaloo's was dead, (it takes a lot to kill her.) the crusaders promptly started vomiting.

"Such a handsome man should never be killed," Button said.

"Yeah." Rumble said, looking at his clone's corpse. Scootaloo gasped.

"WE NEED A DISGUISE AND FAKE NAMES!"

Interlude: Dear Twilight......

It was raining today. Applejack pulled herself out of bed. She slipped on her boots and walked outside. She knew the Crusaders were staying in the clubhouse, so she walked to it. Applejack opened the door.

And she screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

She quickly pulled out her phone and sent a text to her friends to meet outside the Crusader clubhouse.

Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Thunderlane, and Twilight stood in front of the clubhouse. Applejack gulped.

"Ah think ya'll need ta see this," Applejack said. Slowly, she opened the door. And Fluttershy threw up.

"Wh-wh-what happened?" Rainbow Dash stammered. Fluttershy kept throwing up. Slowly, everyone stepped in. Thunderlane stepped in something. He looked down.

He stepped on Rumble's corpse.

"Who did this?!" Rarity snarled. "Whoever did this shall be brought down by justice!"

"Guys," Twilight said, holding up a slip of paper, "I found a note written in Sweetie Belle's handwriting."

"Read it." Applejack growled.

"Dear anyone who's reading this, This is the Crusaders. We elket elected Sweetie Belle to write this. We're dead if you're reading this, (NO SHIT AB!) That was Scootaloo. Anyway, (GET TO THE FUCKIN' POINT!) That was Scootaloo again. Uh,let's get to the point.

"Twilight, we would've appreciated if you could REMEMBER WHEN YOU LET THE CRUSADERS STAY AT THE LIBRARY! We were there yesterday. Or when we wrote this note. Date later to be told. Anyway, you have OCD. A little mess never killed anybody. (What about that time when Sunset Shimmer killed that Ass Entry dude and revived him because of a spell?) That was Rumble. Anyway, we never really disliked you." Twilight stopped reading and passed the paper to Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie, hair now flat, started reading.

"Pinkie, we loved you. So happy and bubbly, just so..........you just lived your element to the fullest. Sorry to leave suddenly. (Sorry I missed our gaming session!) That was Button. (No shit.) That was Scootaloo. (How come you wrote out all of my imput?) That was Pip. (It was idiotic.) That was Apple Bloom. Let's keep writing." Pinkie gave the paper to Fluttershy. Fluttershy, tearing up now, grabbed the paper.

"Fluttershy, we like you. You're just a doormat. No hard feelings. (Wrap this up!) That was Scootaloo." Fluttershy passed the paper to Applejack. Apple cleared her throat.

"Applejack, Ah never appreciated th' way ya babied me. Anyway, if ya j'st gave us a day, th' barn would'a been fixed. (I can't fix shit.) That was Scootaloo. (I can't fix shit either.) That was Rumble. Anyway, IT WASN'T OUR FAULT! Winona chased a group of animals to th' barn. Scoots tried ta chase 'em out, an' th' wood started fallin'. Overall, Ah love ya, Apple Bloom." Applejack sniffled, and handed the paper to Rainbow Dash. Thunderlane grabbed the paper too, so they decided to look at it together.

"Dash an' Thunderlane. About the fire and water accident......... Flitter and Cloudchaser left eggs cooking when everyone left. We kinda flooded your house to put out the fire.......... Anyway, remember when we defeated Discord for the third time? Remember when we gave out free umbrellas (You guys still haven't payed me back.) That was Pip.

"When we rescued Tank from certain death? When we helped Rarity when she suffered a stab wound? We helped you more than we screwed up. Okay, that was a bold-faced lie." Dash handed the paper to Rarity.

"Rarity, I hold great appreciation for you. Your style, your beauty, your elegance..... I wanted to be you. And you....... You.......

Insulted us! Talked about us as if we weren't there! Kids will be kids Rarity! We screw up, create messes, and rebel a bit! Don't you dare start to deny because I remember when you wore plaid, polka dots, and chevron print to school one day. We're gone now, and you can't do anything. Oh, we killed ourselves!

                                                               Forever gone,

                                                                                      Apple Bloom, Button Mash, Pip,  Rumble, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle."

The group stared at the bloody scene.

"We drove the Crusaders to suicide," Twilight whispered.

"Just because of a little forgetfulness an' badmouthin' our siblin's are dead." Applejack said. The group stood solemn. A few tears were shed, and they left.

Harming confessions

Seated in a circle in Twilight's library, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Thunderlane, and Twilight, (no shit Sherlock) were just having some conversation when Fluttershy said something.

"I just found out I have a little brother. He's about the Crusaders' age." Everyone met that statement with blank stares. Applejack growled.

"Ya know whut th' crusaders did to th' barn?! They smashed a Scootaloo sized hole in it! It'll take hours fer me an' Mac ta finish it!"

"They ripped my imported blue silk for the sake of 'helping the children of today use their imagination so they can do great things' but they made a kite and and an angry cat ripped it up!" Rarity added. Rainbow Dash snorted.

"Might as well be the Crusader Catastrophes! Can't go anywhere without causing property damage!" Everybody laughed.

"They took my illegal firework stash and blew up somebody's house!" Pinkie Pie said.

"I remember the time they decided to do research. So many unshelved books. It took Spike and I three days to put them on the shelves, and three more days to organize them!" Twilight exclaimed.

"I remember when they tried to raise sea monkeys. Only Scootaloo's survived." Fluttershy added. Everyone turned to Thunderlane.

"They set fire to my house as a 'firefighting crusade'. Then they flooded my house as a 'water safety crusade'." He said.

"Can't do anything right!" Everyone exept Fluttershy said.

In another room in the library, the crusaders, Apple Bloom, Pipsqueak, Scootaloo, Rumble, Sweetie Belle, and Button Mash listened to the conversation going on with some of their sisters, (brother in Rumble's case) and friends talking about them. Apple Bloom, a sad look on her face looked at her fellow crusaders.

"Ah have an idea," She said quietly. "Go to th' clubhouse." Sneaking out a window and into the night, the crusaders went to the clubhouse.

Behold! Our new names

Everyone blankly stared at Scootaloo. The information sunk in. Apple Bloom strutted to the dry erase board, stepping on Sweetie Belle's clone's corpse. She grabbed six markers and began writing.

Sweetie Belle:

Apple Bloom:

Rumble:

Scootaloo:

Pip:

Button:

"Alright. Choose your names. Nothin' too different but nothin' too obvious." Apple Bloom said.

"I want my first name to be Belle," Sweetie Belle said. "And my last name to be.......... Beauty."

"Belle means beauty in French." Pip said.

"Exactly!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Ah'm gonna be Blossom Plants." Apple Bloom said.

"Storm Blitz." Rumble said.

"Violet Thunder." Scootaloo said.

"Travel Rider." Pip said. Everybody looked at Button.

"I think I'm gonna be........Graphic Pixel."

"Great." Apple Bloom Blossom Plants said. She walked to the board. She cleaned it off.

"So.......... What now?" Storm Blitz asked.

"We make a disguise." Belle Beauty said.

And I want hair the colors of sunset," Scootaloo Violet Thunder said. "With lots of purple."

Sweetie Belle Belle Beauty finished writing down the request. Violet Thunder lot with a light green aura, and turned into a seventeen-ish girl with Amber skin and hair the colors of the sunset. She wore a black leather jacket with denim shorts and a purple tank top. She also had grey sandals. She turned to her boyfriend.

"Rumble, do I look nice?"

A seventeen-ish boy with black hair with a shock of yellow in it turned to his girlfriend. His skin was dark grey. He wore a black leather jacket too, but a grey shirt that said 'I pretend to care' was under it. The ensemble was completed with red converse and dark shorts. Guess I have to explain what they look like...

Blossom Plants had lush green hair with a shock of light green and off white skin. She wore a brown skirt that was longer in the back than in the front. A blue spaghetti strap top. She also wore brown quarter boots and a hot pink, blue, and orange flower crown.

Travel Rider wore a red shirt with denim jeans. His hair was brown with a strip of white in it. His skin was a pale blue, and he had black converse.

Graphic Pixel had black skin and his neon green hair stood out. He wore a shirt that said 'this shirt is a lie' and green shorts. White converse were included.

Belle Beauty's white skin and midnight blue hair with a few lighter streaks were styled in a hairstyle that curled at the end. She wore a LBD with white strappy wedges. A white flower was in her hair. In a few words, she was Drop. Dead. Gorgeous. A backpack was on everybody's back.

"Belle, I'm glad to be your boyfriend," Graphic Pixel said. Belle smiled.

"I chose this to highlight my name." Belle said. Blossom checked her watch.

"Paw gotta go! Ah-I'm not gonna be late for the train! Belle, can you give us invisibility?"

"Sure!" The six crusader's left the clubhouse, where they will return in three weeks.