My Little Filthy Frank: Ramen Is Magicby That_Gamer_ScoutChaptersChapter 1: The b0ss Is HereChapter 2: Cats, Salamander Man, and Dade Chapter 3: Kush, Pookie, and EggsChapter 4: Of Chef's and Overpriced Mac ComputersChapter 1: The b0ss Is HereAuthor's Note If you haven't seen or heard of Filthy Frank before, then this story will not make any sense (granted, it doesn't make any sense normally but you'll be a lot less confused). Like any crossover, you must at least know the source material. Just to warn you, they're some of the worst and most messed up videos on YouTube. I apologize in advance. Filthy Frank on YouTube: If you don't know which video to start with; this is a good one: Chapter 1: The b0ss Is Here Twilight was sitting in her study, after a long day of solving friendship problems she was finally able to sit in peace and quiet. Just her, a book, and some alone time… *Crash* Suddenly, a closet in the room bursts open as a man wearing a blue and white striped flannel shirt, jeans, and sunglasses falls into the room. “What the!?” says Twilight. “What’s going on? Who are…” The strange creature only responds by quickly standing up and kicking Twilight in the face causing her to fall off the couch and onto the floor. “I’m Filthy Frank, motherfucker!” He says as he takes off his sunglasses and throws them at Twilight, who was curled up on the floor in pain. Suddenly, another voice came from the closet. “Ey b0ss” Says a man in a full body pink suit as he comes out of the closet. “Pink Guy! Thank Chin-Chin you're here! The closet was supposed to take us to Realm 6.2, but it dropped us somewhere else…” Frank gives Pink Guy a concerned look. “We’re in Realm 10.10” Pink Guy gasps as Frank concludes. “That’s right, the realm those brony faggots keep annoying everyone about” “What?” says Twilight as she tries to stand up, with Frank quickly responding by slapping her in the face. “Shut up!” Spike opens the door. “Hey Twilight, what’s with all the noise?” Spike immediately goes quiet as he notices the two strangers standing in the room, Frank quickly turns around. “The fuck you want ya little bitch?” “I… Uh…” “Yeah that’s right!” Yells Frank as he points at Spike. “Don’t you dare question Papa Franku again or I’ll slap you, I’ll use my back hand, not even fuckin’ around!” Spike slowly walks backwards putting his claws up and saying. “Ok ok! Just relax, alright” Pink Guy looks at Frank. “b0ss, I have a cancer” “Not now Pink Guy, we need to find a way out of this realm, and fast!” Frank quickly runs out the open door and into Twilight’s kitchen with Pink Guy close behind, he starts rummaging around her cabinets before coming across some packaged noodles. He grabs the bag and takes a quick sniff. “Oh yeah!” He yells in a semi-horny voice. “This is some dank shit mane” Twilight gets up off the floor, holding her hoof over the spot on her head Frank kicked as she sees Frank out of the corner of her eye, who was holding noodles in one hand and a giant leek in the other, running upstairs. “Hey!” she yells. “What are you doing?!” Twilight quickly teleports over to the staircase, the alicorn quickly chases Frank all the way to her bathroom where Frank jumps over to the bathtub and turns the nozzle filling it with water and pouring the noodles into the bathtub. Twilight wanted to say something, or in the very least stop him. But at this moment all she could feel was confusion, as well as pain from the recent head kicking. As the bathtub fills up to three quarters of the way full; Frank quickly stirs the noodles with the giant leek before then climbing into the bathtub, Frank sits in the tub surrounded by noodles as he reaches into his pocket and withdraws a wet cigarette and places it in his mouth. He turns his head to look at Twilight while holding a giant leek in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth. “Sup” says Frank as he raises and lowers his eyebrows repeatedly. “You want some of this… Mmmmmmm, Ramen!” he says as he shoves his free hand into the water and withdraws a handful of wet noodles. “You know you want this bay b, you know what I’m sayin’” Twilight just continues to stare at Frank, her mind begins to race as she is finally able to compose herself and speak to this strange man. “No… NO!... Ok, first of all. What’s going on? Who are you?” Frank looks at Twilight and gives her a half smile with a little nod. “Filthy Frank, PhD in severe internet retardation” Pink Guy crawls into the bathroom and starts rolling around on the floor convulsing. “Nyess!” He screams as Twilight just stares at him with a confused look. “Pink Guy, the fuck?” Says Frank as he stirs the bathtub broth with the giant leek. Twilight’s confusion only turned to curiosity as she looked over at Frank. “Wait, so, where are you from?” “Realm 6.2, I said that earlier. You like stupid or something?” “I… I just…” Twilight was at a loss for words, she was confused by this strange man's general asshole like demeanor. “Pink Guy!” yells Frank. “b0ss?” replies Pink Guy. “Come on, it’s time to go!” Frank then quickly jumps out of the bathtub and runs towards the door. “Hold on!” Says Twilight as she uses her magic to hold Frank in place. “The hell is this ratchet shit?” Says Frank as he struggles against the spell. “Look. I don’t know what you are, or why you’re here, or even why you kicked me in the head, but I just want to talk” Twilight says in an attempt to calm Frank down. “Pink Guy!” yells Frank. “Distract the bitch horse!” Pink Guy gets up off the floor as Twilight turns to face him, she quickly takes a defensive stance expecting Pink Guy to attack at any moment. Instead, Pink Guy jumps down onto his hands and begins to breakdance. Pink Guy continues to breakdance for two minutes straight before jumping up and out the bathroom window. “What?… I just…” suddenly, it occurred to Twilight that while she was focused on Pink Guy; she completely forgot about Frank. She quickly turns back around only to see an empty doorway where Frank once stood. “Oh no…” Twilight says to herself. “This is going to end badly, I know it!” Frank and Pink Guy were running down the street towards Carousel Boutique when a well toned and muscular man in a speedo comes out of a nearby street corner and throws a trashcan at Pink Guy hitting him in the back. “Aaaaaagh!” yells Pink Guy as he falls to the floor in pain. “Prometheus” Frank yells out. “The fuck you doing? We need to get out of here!” Prometheus only responds by picking up another trash can and throwing it at Frank, hitting him in the head, and causing Frank to fall over in pain. “Hey! What’s going on?” Yells Rainbow Dash who was sitting on a nearby cloud. Prometheus turns and runs off down a nearby street corner. Frank quickly stands up. “I don’t have time for this! I need to find pussy!” says Frank as he runs off towards Carousel Boutique as Pink Guy starts having a seizure on the floor. “Can I have de pusi pls” says Pink Guy as he continues to have a seizure on the floor. Rainbow Dash descends from her cloud, quickly approaches Pink Guy, and taps his head with her hoof. “Hey! Is there something wrong with you? Hello?” “Gibe de pusi, b0ss” “Rainbow Dash!” Yells Twilight as she quickly runs over to her. “Twilight, do you have any idea what this is all about?” she says as she points at Pink Guy convulsing on the floor. “I… Have no idea, but I think they’re from another dimension” “Another dimension? Awesome!” says Rainbow Dash as she looks at Pink Guy who was still seizing on the floor. “Well… Not really awesome, but… Radical, I guess?” “Hold on” Twilight quickly looks around. “Did you see another one around here?” “Yeah, actually, I saw two. One in a blue shirt and one that looked like Bulk Biceps in a speedo” “Wait! There’s two of them now!” she says as she facehooves. “Ugh! Great, ok, where did the one in the blue shirt go?” “Umm, I think he was going towards Rarity’s place” “Alright, Rainbow can you try and find the muscular one? I’ll take care of the one in the blue shirt” “Sure thing Twilight! But, what about this thing?” She says as she points her hoof at Pink Guy. “Hmm…” Ponders Twilight. “I have an idea” Rarity was working tirelessly in the backroom making dresses, as she just received a large order for a dozen dresses. She was working as hard as she could before the chime of the doorbell interrupted her. She quickly dropped her tools and made her way to the front of the store. “I’m terribly sorry dear, but I’m awfully busy. That’s why I put the closed sign out front…” Rarity quickly stopped talking upon seeing Frank standing in the doorway. “Who are you?! What are you?! What are you wearing?!” “Um… Yes… Do you have any pussy?” “Excuse me?!” “Do you… Have any pussy? I need pussy” “Well… I… I never!” Frank quickly looks around the store as he spots Opal laying in a cat bed. “Jackpot” Frank quickly takes off after Opal, once Opal sees Frank running towards her; she quickly jumps out of the bed and starts running away. “Get back here!” “Agh!” screeches Rarity as she quickly levitates over a broom and swings it at Frank. “Shoo! Get out of here” Frank quickly dodges the broom as he continues to chase after Opal. “You don’t understand, I need the pussy!” Chapter 2: Cats, Salamander Man, and Dade Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.Chapter 3: Kush, Pookie, and EggsFrank ran as fast as he could to Applejack’s farm, not stopping for anyone or anypony. Though he garnered many looks from the towns ponies as he ran through Ponyville he could care less about the attention, because his mind was set on one goal; find some weed. Frank slowly approached the farm and begun to take in the scenery. “This is some of the strangest rice fields I’ve ever seen” Frank says to himself. “But that ain’t gonna stop me!” Frank runs over to the nearest apple tree as he begins to pick apples, smash the apples into smaller bits, and roll the pieces of apple into a paper joint. “This shit better be dank” Frank says to himself as he lights the end of the paper and begins to smoke the joint. Frank lets out a puff of smoke and he quietly says to himself “Thank you based god” “What the hay!?” Yells Applejack from a distance as she quickly approaches Frank. “What in the right mind you doin’ with my apples! Are you… Are you smoking them!? Now what in the hay are you…” Frank only continued to take more hits from his ‘blunt’ as he drowned out the Applejack’s scolding, as Frank sat there looking the angry pony yelling in front of him (and not giving a shit in the process) he noticed a familiar figure moving towards Applejack’s barn. “Pookie?” Frank says outloud. “And another thing! If ya’ll think that… What’da just say?” Frank quickly stands up and walks towards the barn. “Now hold on there varmint! Don’t you go walkin’ away! Yer still in trouble fer…” Frank puts his finger in front of Applejack’s mouth. “Shhhhh” “Now what did you just say to!...” “Shhhhh!” Frank slowly opens the barn doors and peeks inside. Sitting inside was a man in a backwards baseball cap, sunglasses, and a jacket holding a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic comic book. “Pookie!” Shouts Frank. “Frank?!” Says Pookie as he quickly stuffs the comic in his jacket. “No… Not you Pookie!” “It’s not what it looks like Frank, it’s nothing man, it’s…” Pookie stands up to try and shuffle away as more MLP comics fall from his jacket. “Pookie… It can’t be!” “I’m sorry Frank… But My Little Pony is my life!” Frank quickly pulls out a pistol from his pants and shoots at Pookie twice, missing both shots as Pookie runs for cover. “Hey!” Yells Applejack as she bucks Frank in the leg. “Argh!” Shouts Frank in pain. “Ow ow ow! Da fuq mane?” “Now what in the buck are you trying to!…” Franks pulls out his ‘blunt’ again as he takes another hit, drowning out Applejack’s scolding. “...So what do you have to say fer yerself?!” “I need eggs b0ss” “What?” Frank turns around and runs out the barn door back towards Ponyville. “Hey! Get back here ya varmint!” Yells Applejack as she shakes her hoof at him. “Yo…” Says Pookie to Applejack as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handful of CDs and Cassette Tapes. “Want to listen to some mixtapes brah?” The barn door suddenly flies open as Twilight walks in. “Applejack!” she pants. “Twilight, you’re here about that weirdo right?” “Yes! Where did he go?” Applejack points her hoof at Frank’s general direction. “Hey” Pookie says to Twilight. “You look like a real nigga, want some mixtapes?” “Uh… Gotta go Applejack!” says Twilight as she quickly teleports away. Applejack turns to face Pookie; “So… Ya’ll gonna just leave mah barn, or am I gonna have to kick ya out?” Pookie only responds by sitting back down, pulling out more mixtapes, and a few anime magazines from his jacket. “Alright then” says Applejack as she walks over to the barn door, opens it, and calls out; “Applebloom! Big Mac! Come over here and help me chase this varmint out of the barn” Frank runs back into Ponyville and straight towards Sugarcube Corner. “Wazzup bitches!” He yells as he slams open the store door. “Ooooh! I know!” says Pinkie Pie as she jumped up from behind the counter. “The ceiling, the upstairs, Howtobasic...” Suddenly, a man comes running down the stairs wearing nothing but underwear and a paper bag over his head. The man grunts loudly as he pulls out a carton of eggs from seemingly out of nowhere and begins pelting Frank with them. “Agh!” Yells Frank as he braces himself for the yolky assault. “Stap! Stap!” Howtobasic only grunts louder as he continues to throw eggs at Frank. “Hey! Eggs are for baking, not throwing silly” Says Pinkie as she grabs the eggs away from Howtobasic. Howtobasic grunts loudly as he squats and shits out a trout, picks it up, and throws it against the wall. “Well, you don’t have to be so rude about it” Frank pushes himself off the floor. “Howtobasic, I need eggs. Like, right now brah” Howtobasic holds a finger up to Frank’s mouth. “Shhhh” he says as he reaches into his underwear and pulls out a handful of eggs. “Ooooh!” Says Frank as he extends his hand to grab the eggs, with Howtobasic quickly responding by slapping him in the face. “Ow! Da fuq mane?” Howtobasic grabs Frank, pulls him closer, shoves the eggs down his pants, and kicks him the balls. Frank bends over in pain grabbing his testicles. “...Thanks” he grunts in pain. Howtobasic gives him a thumbs up as he runs back upstairs as Frank painfully waddles towards the door. “Are you hurt?” Asks Pinkie “Don’t worry, Doctor Pinkie is on the case!” She says as she quickly runs off to find a stethoscope. Normally Frank wouldn’t turn down an offer for a free medical exam, especially if it’s testicle or ass related, but Frank needed to get out of this realm before more people from his realm show up to complicate things even more. Frank waddles outside as he calls out; “Salamander Man! Salamander Man!” “Nyess!” Replies Salamander Man, who popped out of a nearby trash can. Frank reaches into his pants and withdraws the handful of eggs Howtobasic gave him. “Take this, we’ll use it to get back home” he says as he gives the eggs to Salamander Man. “Nyess” He replies as he takes the eggs and runs off. “Hmm…” Frank ponders to himself as he starts counting with his fingers. “Ramen, pussy, a blunt, eggs, now all I need is a ukulele...” Frank looks around as his attention is caught on a city built into the side of a mountain top in the distance, Frank looks around some more as he sees a mint green unicorn staring at him. “Da fuck you want?” Frank says still cupping his balls in pain. “Oh… Um… Nothing” she responds as she turns away from Frank and yells out “Bon Bon! Come look at this!” “Hey, uh, b0ss” Frank says as the unicorn looks back at him. “What’s that place?” Frank asks as he points towards the city on the mountain. “Over there? That’s Canterlot” Frank quickly looks around as he spots an unattended skateboard, he quickly shuffles over to the skateboard as the pain in his balls begins to fade. Frank then picks up the board, tosses it to the ground, and hops on it. “Hey, where are you going? Don’t go yet! Bon Bon hurry up! I need to show you something!” Frank puts his foot to the ground as he begins to skate his way towards Canterlot. “Doctor Pinkie is in the… Wait, where’d you go?” The front door slams open as Twilight stumbles in completely out of breath. “Twilight? You’re not Frank” Twilight tries to catch her breath. “Pinkie… Did you see… Wait! Frank!? So you did see him?!” Pinkie rolls her eyes. “Well, yeah, silly. Who do you think Doctor Pinkie’s patient was?” “I… Just… Ugh! Nevermind, did you see where he went?” “Nope, but Howtobasic might have” “How to who?” Howtobasic falls down the stairs, quickly stands up, grunts loudly, and approaches Twilight. “Uh, Pinkie, this isn’t…” Twilight murmurs as her ears quickly fold back. Howtobasic belches loudly. “What’s wrong Twilight, you look like you’ve seen a ghost” Pinkie says as she holds up her stethoscope. “You don’t have seen-a-ghost-itus do you?” Howtobasic shoves his hand in his underwear as he withdraws a piece of paper and belches out a pencil. He then begins to draw an extremely detailed picture of Canterlot as he hands the finished drawing to Twilight. Twilight takes a good look at the picture. “So, you’re saying that he’s on his way to Canterlot?” Howtobasic nods and lets out a loud cough. “Oh, well, thanks. Pinkie, you’ll keep watch of, well, him. Right?” she says as she points a hoof at Howtobasic. “Of course Twilight, Pinkie swear!” “Good, because…” Twilight was suddenly interrupted by Howtobasic belching out a quesadilla and screaming loudly. “Ugh!” Shutters Twilight. “I better just go…” she says as she walks out the front door. Author's Note Bro, listen to my mixtape: Chapter 4: Of Chef's and Overpriced Mac ComputersSomehow, someway, and unnoticed by any royal guard, Frank was able to skate himself straight into Canterlot as he approached the royal castle, taking in it’s vastness. “Shit’s fucking huge” Says Frank as he hikes up his pants and grabs his crotch, runs to a nearby window, breaks it, and climbs in. Inside the newly trespassed room Frank came eye to eye to a long hallway with many doors. “Oh” says Frank, blinking his eyes repeatedly with a constipated look on his face “I guess I better start looking” Frank stumbles his way towards the closest door to him opening it up carefully. The room inside appeared to be a large kitchen; pots, pans, spoons, burners, stoves, and cooking ingredients filled the room to the brim. “This…” Stuttered Frank as he withdrew a CD copy of Chef from his back pocket “Is my calling” Frank jumped into action as he quickly grabbed a chef hat and jacket hanging off a nearby coat hanger, though the hat was too short and the chef jacket was way too small he didn’t care, Only one thing was on his mind: make the best soup this realm has ever seen. Frank filled up a large pot with water as he grabbed as many ingredients his arms could carry. One by one he dumped the contents of each spice bottle, powder blends, broths, and any fruits and vegetables he happened to have on hand. It didn’t matter to Frank if what he made wasn’t ‘good’, ‘competent’ or even ‘edible’ he knew that what he was crafting was a masterpiece and anyone who disagreed just didn’t understand his craft and artistic vision. “You’re here early” booms a voice from behind Frank “Da fuck?” spits Frank as he quickly turns around coming face to face (well, more knee to face) with two white unicorn royal guards clad in golden armor. “We weren't informed that you’d be here fifteen minutes early, is the dinner ready?” the guard on the right asks. “Yeah of course b0ss, is right here” he says pointing to the pot of what could barely be described as soup. “Uh, hold on officer” the guard on the left says to the guard on the right “are you sure this is the chef, I mean, he doesn’t look like a minotaur” “What? Of course he’s a minotaur, just look at him, what else could he be?” “Well… I don’t know…” “Look, just inform the Princesses that the chef is here and that dinner will be early. We’ve been told that they’ve been wanting to meet him for a while know, something about him being extremely famous chef among minotaurs. Just, hurry and go” The left guard salutes the right guard “Yes sir! Will do!” he says before walking out the door. The remaining guard turned to Frank “Is the food ready?” “Yeah mane I made some soup. It’s my famous recipe, it’s a family recipe” he says while poorly imitating an italian accent while cupping his hands. “Uh huh… Well, it’ll have to do. Come this way” The guard motions Frank towards the door. The pair walk down the hallway past many doors before coming face to face with a large set of double doors, the guard walks in front of Frank and holds the door open for him. “The princesses are waiting inside” the guard instructs sternly “Yeah, well these ‘princesses’ better be ready to taste the best god damn soup in their entire lives” Frank walks into the room with the guard close behind. The room inside was mostly devoid of furniture apart from the large, rectangular table with chairs all around it. Sat at the table was Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and many delegates from all around Equestria. Frank clears his throat “Eh hem… B0ss” Celestia glances at Frank, examining him carefully before looking at the guard. “Oh no...” she exclaims under her breath “Your highness, I am pleased to introduce you to Steel Pot: world famous chef” “I see… You know this isn’t a minotaur, right?” “Wait?... But… Your highness…” stammers the guard as he quickly looks at Frank. “Yeah boi, I don’t even know what a minotaur is” says Frank “what are you? Fucking stupid?” “Guards!” Celestia calls out as a dozen royal guards flood into the room. “Please escort this weird, fat, asian man out of here” “Ooooooh! So suddenly you don’t want my cooking. What? Was the glue factory just too good for you?” “Guards! Remove him from here immediately!” “Oh yeah! Well, ya’ll mother fuckers need Chin-Chin! In fact…” Frank cups his hands around his lips “Oh Chin-Chin! Ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo” Suddenly, a man in a black body suit falls from the ceiling and lands on the table. Quickly getting up on his hands and knees the strange man belches out “Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo” Celestia facehooves and shakes her head back and forth “This is stupid… Is this supposed to be some sort of practical joke?” “Actually, it is” says Frank as he pulls out a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and puts them on “and you just got pranked bruh! Yeah!” he yells as he pelvic thrusts. “Just get out” demands Celestia “Fine! But I’m only doing it because I want to, not because you want me to!” Frank throws the pot on the ground spilling the ‘soup’ on the floor before turning around and stomping out of the room. “It was just a prank bro!” A eerie silence fills the room as Frank slams the door behind him. “Sister” says Luna “who was that?” Celestia lets out a loud sigh and says “That was Filthy Frank, some garbage youtuber with a foal’s sense of humor who makes terrible videos” This is such bullshit Frank thinks to himself. How am I going to get home now? Frank kicks up a tuft of gravel as he exits the castle “Fuck this realm man; rainbows and shit, the old people here aren’t racist, no cocaine… This realm sucks” “Frank, this realm is not all what it seems” says a robotic voice “Oh shit!” says Frank as he quickly turns to face the mysterious voice “Overpriced Mac Computer?! Is that really you?” “Yes, Frank, it’s me” replies the seemingly normal looking MacBook Pro 13 sitting on top of a stool. “But… How is that possible? I threw you into the river, you’re dead. Like, what’s with this sudden resurrection shit?” “You must understand Frank This realm is not what is seems Time in this realm is merely subjective, with time moving erratically This, Frank, is why you see us. With time being subjective you can see your past, present, and possible future before you Everything in the past seems different to you because you remember it differently Everything in the present seems disorienting as if you never truly know where you are headed And the future always seems like something that’s both obvious and unexpected, something that you can control but it’s just always out of your reach This is what life is, Frank, it’s always, and will always be a gamble And in the game of life, the house always wins” “Wow, I forgot how much of a buzzkill you were Mac Computer” “Fuck you, Frank, you never listened to me when I was alive and now you’re going to disrespect me when I’m dead? You’re a piece of shit, I hope you choke on your own micro-penis when you try and give yourself a blow job because no woman will ever love you” “Hey! Screw you!” yells Frank as he pushes the Mac Computer off the stool causing it to hit the ground and smash into pieces. “What a cheap peice of shit” scoffs Frank “Wait… Hold on…” Frank bends over as he takes a closer look at the computer pieces before noticing the computer's CPU chip on the ground “Huh, well this isn’t exactly what I’m looking for… But it’ll get the portal working” Frank grabs the CPU chip and quickly stuffs it in his shirt pocket. “Wait!” Yells a voice in the distance “Uuuuuurgh! What now?” Just then, Twilight soars towards Frank, flying as fast as she could before landing a few inches away from Frank. “Stop right there!” Twilight yells as she jumps up in the air coming face to face with Frank “Shhhhhh! Let papa think of plan” Frank starts pacing back and forth in a ponderous thought. “Think… Of… A… Plan?!” shouts Twilight “Do you have any idea of all the trouble I had to go through just to find you! I had to run all over Ponyville to track you down! I had to talk to a crazy screaming man who vomited a Quesadilla at me! I had to…” “I got it!” “What?!” Frank quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out his iPhone and quickly started texting: ‘h3h3, Jontron, idubbbz, Maxmoefoe Hey boyo’s, I’m stuck in some faggot’s interpretation of Animal Farm and I need your help to get home. Meet me ASAP.’ “There, just sent out a text. The other meme lords should be here soon” “Wait!” Twilight interjects “So now there’s going to be more of… Um... You bunch!” “Look” Frank says as he leans down making eye contact with Twilight “I don’t want to be in this stupid as fuck dimension any longer than I have to be. It’s four hundred times gayer than any weeaboo I’ve ever met. You and all the rest of you pastel colored bitches can go to hell for all I care, I’m just going to head home. Now, are you going to help me or not?” “Wah?... Help you?” “Yes” “I… Uh… Eh… Ok...” Meanwhile Coco Pommel was just arriving home from work to her Manehattan apartment. As she approached the front door and opened it she couldn’t help but notice a rather large man with a short beard sitting on her couch fiddling with a strange handheld device with a screen on it. This man was the late, great, internet meme lord Jontron. “Come on! Come on!” grunted Jon as he rapidly hit the buttons on the device. “Gah!” he yelled as he tossed the device across the room. “Why is it every game I choose to review alway have to be so shit!” “Um…” says Coco Pommel “Who are you?” Jon quickly turned his head making eye contact with Coco Pommel “Oh my god! There’s a pony in my house!” *Bzzt* Jon reaches into his pocket as he withdraws a phone “Oh, gotta go!” “Wait but!...” “No time!” Jon blurts out as he goes to climb out the nearest window, but only succeeds to get himself stuck “Gah! Halp!” Meanwhile idubbbz just stepped off the train, he quickly looked around to take in his surroundings before noticing a pony wearing a cowboy hat and vest standing in front of him. “Welcome to AAAAAAA-pple-LOO-sa!” he said as he jumped up kicking his forelegs “What are ya, fuckin’ gay?” *Bzzt* idubbbz reaches into his pocket and withdraws his phone. “Hey, that’s pretty good!” Meanwhile “Yo fuck off!” yells Maxmoefoe “I can eat as many cherries as I…” he said before projectile vomiting mid sentence. “Ugh!... God…” “Gah!” says Cherry Jubilee “That just ain’t right” *Bzzt* Maxmoefoe reaches into his pocket as he withdraws his phone “Oh shit!” Meanwhile “...And when you combine a goof and a gaf, it becomes a laugh” says h3h3 “Fascinating” says Princess Cadence “And remind me again who this ‘DJ Khaled’ is?” “Well, you see DJ Khaled is more than just a living meme…” *Bzzt* h3h3 reaches into his pocket as he withdraws his phone “Oooooooooh shit boyo! The gang is getting together!” he says as he quickly makes his way to the door. “Ethan wait!” shouts Cadence “but how will I know what ‘memeing’ is” h3h3 coughs violently before responding “Just use the internet or something dude, h3h3 subreddit, check it out. Love you, love you guys, peace!” Author's Note I took a really long break from writing this because I had no clue on how to end it, but I finally was able to think of the best way of doing it: bring all the meme lords together.
Chapter 1: The b0ss Is HereAuthor's Note If you haven't seen or heard of Filthy Frank before, then this story will not make any sense (granted, it doesn't make any sense normally but you'll be a lot less confused). Like any crossover, you must at least know the source material. Just to warn you, they're some of the worst and most messed up videos on YouTube. I apologize in advance. Filthy Frank on YouTube: If you don't know which video to start with; this is a good one: Chapter 1: The b0ss Is Here Twilight was sitting in her study, after a long day of solving friendship problems she was finally able to sit in peace and quiet. Just her, a book, and some alone time… *Crash* Suddenly, a closet in the room bursts open as a man wearing a blue and white striped flannel shirt, jeans, and sunglasses falls into the room. “What the!?” says Twilight. “What’s going on? Who are…” The strange creature only responds by quickly standing up and kicking Twilight in the face causing her to fall off the couch and onto the floor. “I’m Filthy Frank, motherfucker!” He says as he takes off his sunglasses and throws them at Twilight, who was curled up on the floor in pain. Suddenly, another voice came from the closet. “Ey b0ss” Says a man in a full body pink suit as he comes out of the closet. “Pink Guy! Thank Chin-Chin you're here! The closet was supposed to take us to Realm 6.2, but it dropped us somewhere else…” Frank gives Pink Guy a concerned look. “We’re in Realm 10.10” Pink Guy gasps as Frank concludes. “That’s right, the realm those brony faggots keep annoying everyone about” “What?” says Twilight as she tries to stand up, with Frank quickly responding by slapping her in the face. “Shut up!” Spike opens the door. “Hey Twilight, what’s with all the noise?” Spike immediately goes quiet as he notices the two strangers standing in the room, Frank quickly turns around. “The fuck you want ya little bitch?” “I… Uh…” “Yeah that’s right!” Yells Frank as he points at Spike. “Don’t you dare question Papa Franku again or I’ll slap you, I’ll use my back hand, not even fuckin’ around!” Spike slowly walks backwards putting his claws up and saying. “Ok ok! Just relax, alright” Pink Guy looks at Frank. “b0ss, I have a cancer” “Not now Pink Guy, we need to find a way out of this realm, and fast!” Frank quickly runs out the open door and into Twilight’s kitchen with Pink Guy close behind, he starts rummaging around her cabinets before coming across some packaged noodles. He grabs the bag and takes a quick sniff. “Oh yeah!” He yells in a semi-horny voice. “This is some dank shit mane” Twilight gets up off the floor, holding her hoof over the spot on her head Frank kicked as she sees Frank out of the corner of her eye, who was holding noodles in one hand and a giant leek in the other, running upstairs. “Hey!” she yells. “What are you doing?!” Twilight quickly teleports over to the staircase, the alicorn quickly chases Frank all the way to her bathroom where Frank jumps over to the bathtub and turns the nozzle filling it with water and pouring the noodles into the bathtub. Twilight wanted to say something, or in the very least stop him. But at this moment all she could feel was confusion, as well as pain from the recent head kicking. As the bathtub fills up to three quarters of the way full; Frank quickly stirs the noodles with the giant leek before then climbing into the bathtub, Frank sits in the tub surrounded by noodles as he reaches into his pocket and withdraws a wet cigarette and places it in his mouth. He turns his head to look at Twilight while holding a giant leek in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth. “Sup” says Frank as he raises and lowers his eyebrows repeatedly. “You want some of this… Mmmmmmm, Ramen!” he says as he shoves his free hand into the water and withdraws a handful of wet noodles. “You know you want this bay b, you know what I’m sayin’” Twilight just continues to stare at Frank, her mind begins to race as she is finally able to compose herself and speak to this strange man. “No… NO!... Ok, first of all. What’s going on? Who are you?” Frank looks at Twilight and gives her a half smile with a little nod. “Filthy Frank, PhD in severe internet retardation” Pink Guy crawls into the bathroom and starts rolling around on the floor convulsing. “Nyess!” He screams as Twilight just stares at him with a confused look. “Pink Guy, the fuck?” Says Frank as he stirs the bathtub broth with the giant leek. Twilight’s confusion only turned to curiosity as she looked over at Frank. “Wait, so, where are you from?” “Realm 6.2, I said that earlier. You like stupid or something?” “I… I just…” Twilight was at a loss for words, she was confused by this strange man's general asshole like demeanor. “Pink Guy!” yells Frank. “b0ss?” replies Pink Guy. “Come on, it’s time to go!” Frank then quickly jumps out of the bathtub and runs towards the door. “Hold on!” Says Twilight as she uses her magic to hold Frank in place. “The hell is this ratchet shit?” Says Frank as he struggles against the spell. “Look. I don’t know what you are, or why you’re here, or even why you kicked me in the head, but I just want to talk” Twilight says in an attempt to calm Frank down. “Pink Guy!” yells Frank. “Distract the bitch horse!” Pink Guy gets up off the floor as Twilight turns to face him, she quickly takes a defensive stance expecting Pink Guy to attack at any moment. Instead, Pink Guy jumps down onto his hands and begins to breakdance. Pink Guy continues to breakdance for two minutes straight before jumping up and out the bathroom window. “What?… I just…” suddenly, it occurred to Twilight that while she was focused on Pink Guy; she completely forgot about Frank. She quickly turns back around only to see an empty doorway where Frank once stood. “Oh no…” Twilight says to herself. “This is going to end badly, I know it!” Frank and Pink Guy were running down the street towards Carousel Boutique when a well toned and muscular man in a speedo comes out of a nearby street corner and throws a trashcan at Pink Guy hitting him in the back. “Aaaaaagh!” yells Pink Guy as he falls to the floor in pain. “Prometheus” Frank yells out. “The fuck you doing? We need to get out of here!” Prometheus only responds by picking up another trash can and throwing it at Frank, hitting him in the head, and causing Frank to fall over in pain. “Hey! What’s going on?” Yells Rainbow Dash who was sitting on a nearby cloud. Prometheus turns and runs off down a nearby street corner. Frank quickly stands up. “I don’t have time for this! I need to find pussy!” says Frank as he runs off towards Carousel Boutique as Pink Guy starts having a seizure on the floor. “Can I have de pusi pls” says Pink Guy as he continues to have a seizure on the floor. Rainbow Dash descends from her cloud, quickly approaches Pink Guy, and taps his head with her hoof. “Hey! Is there something wrong with you? Hello?” “Gibe de pusi, b0ss” “Rainbow Dash!” Yells Twilight as she quickly runs over to her. “Twilight, do you have any idea what this is all about?” she says as she points at Pink Guy convulsing on the floor. “I… Have no idea, but I think they’re from another dimension” “Another dimension? Awesome!” says Rainbow Dash as she looks at Pink Guy who was still seizing on the floor. “Well… Not really awesome, but… Radical, I guess?” “Hold on” Twilight quickly looks around. “Did you see another one around here?” “Yeah, actually, I saw two. One in a blue shirt and one that looked like Bulk Biceps in a speedo” “Wait! There’s two of them now!” she says as she facehooves. “Ugh! Great, ok, where did the one in the blue shirt go?” “Umm, I think he was going towards Rarity’s place” “Alright, Rainbow can you try and find the muscular one? I’ll take care of the one in the blue shirt” “Sure thing Twilight! But, what about this thing?” She says as she points her hoof at Pink Guy. “Hmm…” Ponders Twilight. “I have an idea” Rarity was working tirelessly in the backroom making dresses, as she just received a large order for a dozen dresses. She was working as hard as she could before the chime of the doorbell interrupted her. She quickly dropped her tools and made her way to the front of the store. “I’m terribly sorry dear, but I’m awfully busy. That’s why I put the closed sign out front…” Rarity quickly stopped talking upon seeing Frank standing in the doorway. “Who are you?! What are you?! What are you wearing?!” “Um… Yes… Do you have any pussy?” “Excuse me?!” “Do you… Have any pussy? I need pussy” “Well… I… I never!” Frank quickly looks around the store as he spots Opal laying in a cat bed. “Jackpot” Frank quickly takes off after Opal, once Opal sees Frank running towards her; she quickly jumps out of the bed and starts running away. “Get back here!” “Agh!” screeches Rarity as she quickly levitates over a broom and swings it at Frank. “Shoo! Get out of here” Frank quickly dodges the broom as he continues to chase after Opal. “You don’t understand, I need the pussy!”
Chapter 2: Cats, Salamander Man, and Dade Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Chapter 3: Kush, Pookie, and EggsFrank ran as fast as he could to Applejack’s farm, not stopping for anyone or anypony. Though he garnered many looks from the towns ponies as he ran through Ponyville he could care less about the attention, because his mind was set on one goal; find some weed. Frank slowly approached the farm and begun to take in the scenery. “This is some of the strangest rice fields I’ve ever seen” Frank says to himself. “But that ain’t gonna stop me!” Frank runs over to the nearest apple tree as he begins to pick apples, smash the apples into smaller bits, and roll the pieces of apple into a paper joint. “This shit better be dank” Frank says to himself as he lights the end of the paper and begins to smoke the joint. Frank lets out a puff of smoke and he quietly says to himself “Thank you based god” “What the hay!?” Yells Applejack from a distance as she quickly approaches Frank. “What in the right mind you doin’ with my apples! Are you… Are you smoking them!? Now what in the hay are you…” Frank only continued to take more hits from his ‘blunt’ as he drowned out the Applejack’s scolding, as Frank sat there looking the angry pony yelling in front of him (and not giving a shit in the process) he noticed a familiar figure moving towards Applejack’s barn. “Pookie?” Frank says outloud. “And another thing! If ya’ll think that… What’da just say?” Frank quickly stands up and walks towards the barn. “Now hold on there varmint! Don’t you go walkin’ away! Yer still in trouble fer…” Frank puts his finger in front of Applejack’s mouth. “Shhhhh” “Now what did you just say to!...” “Shhhhh!” Frank slowly opens the barn doors and peeks inside. Sitting inside was a man in a backwards baseball cap, sunglasses, and a jacket holding a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic comic book. “Pookie!” Shouts Frank. “Frank?!” Says Pookie as he quickly stuffs the comic in his jacket. “No… Not you Pookie!” “It’s not what it looks like Frank, it’s nothing man, it’s…” Pookie stands up to try and shuffle away as more MLP comics fall from his jacket. “Pookie… It can’t be!” “I’m sorry Frank… But My Little Pony is my life!” Frank quickly pulls out a pistol from his pants and shoots at Pookie twice, missing both shots as Pookie runs for cover. “Hey!” Yells Applejack as she bucks Frank in the leg. “Argh!” Shouts Frank in pain. “Ow ow ow! Da fuq mane?” “Now what in the buck are you trying to!…” Franks pulls out his ‘blunt’ again as he takes another hit, drowning out Applejack’s scolding. “...So what do you have to say fer yerself?!” “I need eggs b0ss” “What?” Frank turns around and runs out the barn door back towards Ponyville. “Hey! Get back here ya varmint!” Yells Applejack as she shakes her hoof at him. “Yo…” Says Pookie to Applejack as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handful of CDs and Cassette Tapes. “Want to listen to some mixtapes brah?” The barn door suddenly flies open as Twilight walks in. “Applejack!” she pants. “Twilight, you’re here about that weirdo right?” “Yes! Where did he go?” Applejack points her hoof at Frank’s general direction. “Hey” Pookie says to Twilight. “You look like a real nigga, want some mixtapes?” “Uh… Gotta go Applejack!” says Twilight as she quickly teleports away. Applejack turns to face Pookie; “So… Ya’ll gonna just leave mah barn, or am I gonna have to kick ya out?” Pookie only responds by sitting back down, pulling out more mixtapes, and a few anime magazines from his jacket. “Alright then” says Applejack as she walks over to the barn door, opens it, and calls out; “Applebloom! Big Mac! Come over here and help me chase this varmint out of the barn” Frank runs back into Ponyville and straight towards Sugarcube Corner. “Wazzup bitches!” He yells as he slams open the store door. “Ooooh! I know!” says Pinkie Pie as she jumped up from behind the counter. “The ceiling, the upstairs, Howtobasic...” Suddenly, a man comes running down the stairs wearing nothing but underwear and a paper bag over his head. The man grunts loudly as he pulls out a carton of eggs from seemingly out of nowhere and begins pelting Frank with them. “Agh!” Yells Frank as he braces himself for the yolky assault. “Stap! Stap!” Howtobasic only grunts louder as he continues to throw eggs at Frank. “Hey! Eggs are for baking, not throwing silly” Says Pinkie as she grabs the eggs away from Howtobasic. Howtobasic grunts loudly as he squats and shits out a trout, picks it up, and throws it against the wall. “Well, you don’t have to be so rude about it” Frank pushes himself off the floor. “Howtobasic, I need eggs. Like, right now brah” Howtobasic holds a finger up to Frank’s mouth. “Shhhh” he says as he reaches into his underwear and pulls out a handful of eggs. “Ooooh!” Says Frank as he extends his hand to grab the eggs, with Howtobasic quickly responding by slapping him in the face. “Ow! Da fuq mane?” Howtobasic grabs Frank, pulls him closer, shoves the eggs down his pants, and kicks him the balls. Frank bends over in pain grabbing his testicles. “...Thanks” he grunts in pain. Howtobasic gives him a thumbs up as he runs back upstairs as Frank painfully waddles towards the door. “Are you hurt?” Asks Pinkie “Don’t worry, Doctor Pinkie is on the case!” She says as she quickly runs off to find a stethoscope. Normally Frank wouldn’t turn down an offer for a free medical exam, especially if it’s testicle or ass related, but Frank needed to get out of this realm before more people from his realm show up to complicate things even more. Frank waddles outside as he calls out; “Salamander Man! Salamander Man!” “Nyess!” Replies Salamander Man, who popped out of a nearby trash can. Frank reaches into his pants and withdraws the handful of eggs Howtobasic gave him. “Take this, we’ll use it to get back home” he says as he gives the eggs to Salamander Man. “Nyess” He replies as he takes the eggs and runs off. “Hmm…” Frank ponders to himself as he starts counting with his fingers. “Ramen, pussy, a blunt, eggs, now all I need is a ukulele...” Frank looks around as his attention is caught on a city built into the side of a mountain top in the distance, Frank looks around some more as he sees a mint green unicorn staring at him. “Da fuck you want?” Frank says still cupping his balls in pain. “Oh… Um… Nothing” she responds as she turns away from Frank and yells out “Bon Bon! Come look at this!” “Hey, uh, b0ss” Frank says as the unicorn looks back at him. “What’s that place?” Frank asks as he points towards the city on the mountain. “Over there? That’s Canterlot” Frank quickly looks around as he spots an unattended skateboard, he quickly shuffles over to the skateboard as the pain in his balls begins to fade. Frank then picks up the board, tosses it to the ground, and hops on it. “Hey, where are you going? Don’t go yet! Bon Bon hurry up! I need to show you something!” Frank puts his foot to the ground as he begins to skate his way towards Canterlot. “Doctor Pinkie is in the… Wait, where’d you go?” The front door slams open as Twilight stumbles in completely out of breath. “Twilight? You’re not Frank” Twilight tries to catch her breath. “Pinkie… Did you see… Wait! Frank!? So you did see him?!” Pinkie rolls her eyes. “Well, yeah, silly. Who do you think Doctor Pinkie’s patient was?” “I… Just… Ugh! Nevermind, did you see where he went?” “Nope, but Howtobasic might have” “How to who?” Howtobasic falls down the stairs, quickly stands up, grunts loudly, and approaches Twilight. “Uh, Pinkie, this isn’t…” Twilight murmurs as her ears quickly fold back. Howtobasic belches loudly. “What’s wrong Twilight, you look like you’ve seen a ghost” Pinkie says as she holds up her stethoscope. “You don’t have seen-a-ghost-itus do you?” Howtobasic shoves his hand in his underwear as he withdraws a piece of paper and belches out a pencil. He then begins to draw an extremely detailed picture of Canterlot as he hands the finished drawing to Twilight. Twilight takes a good look at the picture. “So, you’re saying that he’s on his way to Canterlot?” Howtobasic nods and lets out a loud cough. “Oh, well, thanks. Pinkie, you’ll keep watch of, well, him. Right?” she says as she points a hoof at Howtobasic. “Of course Twilight, Pinkie swear!” “Good, because…” Twilight was suddenly interrupted by Howtobasic belching out a quesadilla and screaming loudly. “Ugh!” Shutters Twilight. “I better just go…” she says as she walks out the front door. Author's Note Bro, listen to my mixtape:
Chapter 4: Of Chef's and Overpriced Mac ComputersSomehow, someway, and unnoticed by any royal guard, Frank was able to skate himself straight into Canterlot as he approached the royal castle, taking in it’s vastness. “Shit’s fucking huge” Says Frank as he hikes up his pants and grabs his crotch, runs to a nearby window, breaks it, and climbs in. Inside the newly trespassed room Frank came eye to eye to a long hallway with many doors. “Oh” says Frank, blinking his eyes repeatedly with a constipated look on his face “I guess I better start looking” Frank stumbles his way towards the closest door to him opening it up carefully. The room inside appeared to be a large kitchen; pots, pans, spoons, burners, stoves, and cooking ingredients filled the room to the brim. “This…” Stuttered Frank as he withdrew a CD copy of Chef from his back pocket “Is my calling” Frank jumped into action as he quickly grabbed a chef hat and jacket hanging off a nearby coat hanger, though the hat was too short and the chef jacket was way too small he didn’t care, Only one thing was on his mind: make the best soup this realm has ever seen. Frank filled up a large pot with water as he grabbed as many ingredients his arms could carry. One by one he dumped the contents of each spice bottle, powder blends, broths, and any fruits and vegetables he happened to have on hand. It didn’t matter to Frank if what he made wasn’t ‘good’, ‘competent’ or even ‘edible’ he knew that what he was crafting was a masterpiece and anyone who disagreed just didn’t understand his craft and artistic vision. “You’re here early” booms a voice from behind Frank “Da fuck?” spits Frank as he quickly turns around coming face to face (well, more knee to face) with two white unicorn royal guards clad in golden armor. “We weren't informed that you’d be here fifteen minutes early, is the dinner ready?” the guard on the right asks. “Yeah of course b0ss, is right here” he says pointing to the pot of what could barely be described as soup. “Uh, hold on officer” the guard on the left says to the guard on the right “are you sure this is the chef, I mean, he doesn’t look like a minotaur” “What? Of course he’s a minotaur, just look at him, what else could he be?” “Well… I don’t know…” “Look, just inform the Princesses that the chef is here and that dinner will be early. We’ve been told that they’ve been wanting to meet him for a while know, something about him being extremely famous chef among minotaurs. Just, hurry and go” The left guard salutes the right guard “Yes sir! Will do!” he says before walking out the door. The remaining guard turned to Frank “Is the food ready?” “Yeah mane I made some soup. It’s my famous recipe, it’s a family recipe” he says while poorly imitating an italian accent while cupping his hands. “Uh huh… Well, it’ll have to do. Come this way” The guard motions Frank towards the door. The pair walk down the hallway past many doors before coming face to face with a large set of double doors, the guard walks in front of Frank and holds the door open for him. “The princesses are waiting inside” the guard instructs sternly “Yeah, well these ‘princesses’ better be ready to taste the best god damn soup in their entire lives” Frank walks into the room with the guard close behind. The room inside was mostly devoid of furniture apart from the large, rectangular table with chairs all around it. Sat at the table was Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and many delegates from all around Equestria. Frank clears his throat “Eh hem… B0ss” Celestia glances at Frank, examining him carefully before looking at the guard. “Oh no...” she exclaims under her breath “Your highness, I am pleased to introduce you to Steel Pot: world famous chef” “I see… You know this isn’t a minotaur, right?” “Wait?... But… Your highness…” stammers the guard as he quickly looks at Frank. “Yeah boi, I don’t even know what a minotaur is” says Frank “what are you? Fucking stupid?” “Guards!” Celestia calls out as a dozen royal guards flood into the room. “Please escort this weird, fat, asian man out of here” “Ooooooh! So suddenly you don’t want my cooking. What? Was the glue factory just too good for you?” “Guards! Remove him from here immediately!” “Oh yeah! Well, ya’ll mother fuckers need Chin-Chin! In fact…” Frank cups his hands around his lips “Oh Chin-Chin! Ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo” Suddenly, a man in a black body suit falls from the ceiling and lands on the table. Quickly getting up on his hands and knees the strange man belches out “Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo” Celestia facehooves and shakes her head back and forth “This is stupid… Is this supposed to be some sort of practical joke?” “Actually, it is” says Frank as he pulls out a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and puts them on “and you just got pranked bruh! Yeah!” he yells as he pelvic thrusts. “Just get out” demands Celestia “Fine! But I’m only doing it because I want to, not because you want me to!” Frank throws the pot on the ground spilling the ‘soup’ on the floor before turning around and stomping out of the room. “It was just a prank bro!” A eerie silence fills the room as Frank slams the door behind him. “Sister” says Luna “who was that?” Celestia lets out a loud sigh and says “That was Filthy Frank, some garbage youtuber with a foal’s sense of humor who makes terrible videos” This is such bullshit Frank thinks to himself. How am I going to get home now? Frank kicks up a tuft of gravel as he exits the castle “Fuck this realm man; rainbows and shit, the old people here aren’t racist, no cocaine… This realm sucks” “Frank, this realm is not all what it seems” says a robotic voice “Oh shit!” says Frank as he quickly turns to face the mysterious voice “Overpriced Mac Computer?! Is that really you?” “Yes, Frank, it’s me” replies the seemingly normal looking MacBook Pro 13 sitting on top of a stool. “But… How is that possible? I threw you into the river, you’re dead. Like, what’s with this sudden resurrection shit?” “You must understand Frank This realm is not what is seems Time in this realm is merely subjective, with time moving erratically This, Frank, is why you see us. With time being subjective you can see your past, present, and possible future before you Everything in the past seems different to you because you remember it differently Everything in the present seems disorienting as if you never truly know where you are headed And the future always seems like something that’s both obvious and unexpected, something that you can control but it’s just always out of your reach This is what life is, Frank, it’s always, and will always be a gamble And in the game of life, the house always wins” “Wow, I forgot how much of a buzzkill you were Mac Computer” “Fuck you, Frank, you never listened to me when I was alive and now you’re going to disrespect me when I’m dead? You’re a piece of shit, I hope you choke on your own micro-penis when you try and give yourself a blow job because no woman will ever love you” “Hey! Screw you!” yells Frank as he pushes the Mac Computer off the stool causing it to hit the ground and smash into pieces. “What a cheap peice of shit” scoffs Frank “Wait… Hold on…” Frank bends over as he takes a closer look at the computer pieces before noticing the computer's CPU chip on the ground “Huh, well this isn’t exactly what I’m looking for… But it’ll get the portal working” Frank grabs the CPU chip and quickly stuffs it in his shirt pocket. “Wait!” Yells a voice in the distance “Uuuuuurgh! What now?” Just then, Twilight soars towards Frank, flying as fast as she could before landing a few inches away from Frank. “Stop right there!” Twilight yells as she jumps up in the air coming face to face with Frank “Shhhhhh! Let papa think of plan” Frank starts pacing back and forth in a ponderous thought. “Think… Of… A… Plan?!” shouts Twilight “Do you have any idea of all the trouble I had to go through just to find you! I had to run all over Ponyville to track you down! I had to talk to a crazy screaming man who vomited a Quesadilla at me! I had to…” “I got it!” “What?!” Frank quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out his iPhone and quickly started texting: ‘h3h3, Jontron, idubbbz, Maxmoefoe Hey boyo’s, I’m stuck in some faggot’s interpretation of Animal Farm and I need your help to get home. Meet me ASAP.’ “There, just sent out a text. The other meme lords should be here soon” “Wait!” Twilight interjects “So now there’s going to be more of… Um... You bunch!” “Look” Frank says as he leans down making eye contact with Twilight “I don’t want to be in this stupid as fuck dimension any longer than I have to be. It’s four hundred times gayer than any weeaboo I’ve ever met. You and all the rest of you pastel colored bitches can go to hell for all I care, I’m just going to head home. Now, are you going to help me or not?” “Wah?... Help you?” “Yes” “I… Uh… Eh… Ok...” Meanwhile Coco Pommel was just arriving home from work to her Manehattan apartment. As she approached the front door and opened it she couldn’t help but notice a rather large man with a short beard sitting on her couch fiddling with a strange handheld device with a screen on it. This man was the late, great, internet meme lord Jontron. “Come on! Come on!” grunted Jon as he rapidly hit the buttons on the device. “Gah!” he yelled as he tossed the device across the room. “Why is it every game I choose to review alway have to be so shit!” “Um…” says Coco Pommel “Who are you?” Jon quickly turned his head making eye contact with Coco Pommel “Oh my god! There’s a pony in my house!” *Bzzt* Jon reaches into his pocket as he withdraws a phone “Oh, gotta go!” “Wait but!...” “No time!” Jon blurts out as he goes to climb out the nearest window, but only succeeds to get himself stuck “Gah! Halp!” Meanwhile idubbbz just stepped off the train, he quickly looked around to take in his surroundings before noticing a pony wearing a cowboy hat and vest standing in front of him. “Welcome to AAAAAAA-pple-LOO-sa!” he said as he jumped up kicking his forelegs “What are ya, fuckin’ gay?” *Bzzt* idubbbz reaches into his pocket and withdraws his phone. “Hey, that’s pretty good!” Meanwhile “Yo fuck off!” yells Maxmoefoe “I can eat as many cherries as I…” he said before projectile vomiting mid sentence. “Ugh!... God…” “Gah!” says Cherry Jubilee “That just ain’t right” *Bzzt* Maxmoefoe reaches into his pocket as he withdraws his phone “Oh shit!” Meanwhile “...And when you combine a goof and a gaf, it becomes a laugh” says h3h3 “Fascinating” says Princess Cadence “And remind me again who this ‘DJ Khaled’ is?” “Well, you see DJ Khaled is more than just a living meme…” *Bzzt* h3h3 reaches into his pocket as he withdraws his phone “Oooooooooh shit boyo! The gang is getting together!” he says as he quickly makes his way to the door. “Ethan wait!” shouts Cadence “but how will I know what ‘memeing’ is” h3h3 coughs violently before responding “Just use the internet or something dude, h3h3 subreddit, check it out. Love you, love you guys, peace!” Author's Note I took a really long break from writing this because I had no clue on how to end it, but I finally was able to think of the best way of doing it: bring all the meme lords together.
