Oddities Anonymous

by TheAlmightyTinCan

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Profanity, Random, Princess Celestia, Discord
Length: 49586

Anthony (classic HIE) gets invited to a support group for odd and strange beings that society has cast out. Will he survive the first week's meeting?

Dear Anthony Nones the human,

We at Oddities Anonymous would like to cordially invite you to one of our get togethers this coming Friday, July 23, to sit in on one of our bi-weekly meetings. Oddities Anonymous is an exclusive club Oddities Anonymous is a support group created by and consisting of beings throughout Equestia that have great difficulty blending into pony society simply because of who or what they are. It is designed to bring together and empower those who have felt neglected or estranged by ponies in a friendly, nonjudgmental environment

If you would like to come and join us for some fun! one of our bi-weekly support meetings, please come to 1504 Moonlight Lane at 9 pm on Friday, July 26.

And yes, I am talking about the house that looks like it's about to fall apart that is currently under renovation.

Anyways, that's about it! Hope to see you there!

Love, Fizzle! <3

PS - This weeks password is "Fizzle is delicious!"

Possible Dark Tag

Fizzle is not a dragon jsyn

Trigger warnings: bad ocs, bad puns, bad writing, trigger warnings

Cover Art by xXSonyTheCatXx on Deviantart

Inspiration for this a to me few days after reading The Curse so you could probably take a wild guess as to who Fizzle is.

Side note. This is going to be a weird fic, and right now don't entirely know what direction I'll be taking it. And since I a good writer am not, if anyone who's actually a good writer wants to take this idea and use it for them self they are perfectly welcome to.

Published 2016-05-08 04:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-08 06:38:44 UTC

1 - Delusions of Grandure

Ah Canterlot, the golden city. A global representation of purity and hope to those of the world who lack it, or seek it. Yes, Canterlot is both the metaphorical and literal city on a hill for both Equestria and the rest of the planet. A powerhouse of an economy, a loyal happy people, and two eternal goddess ponies who manage all the shit that comes with it. So, as the potential kingdom builder you may be, you might be wondering what goes on behind those thick pure white marble walls. What thoughts lie behind the smiles of Celestia as she runs her day court? What goes on in the halls where the maids and servants scurry around to keep the place immaculate and properly presentable for the next set of nobles or foreign dignitaries that pass through? Well, I’m sure you can trust me when I say that even I don’t know everything that goes on here in this… cesspool of intrigue. But I’ve had my fair share of experiences in this castle over the last year. And let me tell you, it only gets... odder, from there.

Shall we begin?

Our journey begins in a remote corner of Canterlot castle, far beyond the preying eyes and ears of nobles seeking gossip or money, and secluded enough to where one could stand in the hallway naked and sing a joyful shanty while only having to worry about potentially flustering a maid that happened to be on her rounds.

Or that would be true if there weren’t two stooges of guards standing by one of the doors tonight.

Upon first glance you might have thought nothing of these two guards. They had identical white coats thanks to the enchanted golden suits of armor they dawned. Both had sharpened steel spears held tightly in their fetlocks and were standing dutifully at attention.

Well, what’s wrong with that? You may ask. To that I would say, take a closer look. Even with the enchantment, dark bags could still be seen under both of their eyes, the effort they took in keeping them open was palpable. And do you see that? Those tiny beads of stress-sweat dripping down the forehead of the one on the right. Yes, giving a day guard the night shift was never a good idea, ordinary ponies simply weren't biologically designed to stay up all night. Now comes the real question for you. If these guards had such a hard time with this, why not just have some thestrals from the night guard standing at this particular secluded door? Well, that’s a question to be answered another night. What you should really be worrying about is what’s going on behind that door. Suddenly, the guard on the right let out a shaky breath.

“He’s gonna do it.” he whispered, loud enough only for his partner to hear. “It’s gonna happen… Any minute now.” He started tapping the butt of his spear against the ground incessantly. Quickly getting annoyed, the guard on the left scoffed.

“Quit your nervin’ greenhorn, it ain’t gonna do nothin’ wif us here.” He grumbled in a deep voice, adjusting his hooves into a more comfortable stance. “And if’n it tries anything, it’ll be takin’ a few whacks from my spear for it gets two trots away.” To exemplify his point Lefty took a few quick practice swings with his spear. This didn’t seem to calm Righty’s nerves though, he turned to his partner, lifting a hoof to try and wipe his sweaty brow.

“ Are you kidding me!? Did you see what he did to the guards last week! I don’t think I could handle trying to get that much chocolate syrup out of my coat!” Even with his years of experience in the guard, Lefty couldn’t help but shudder at the thought. So many baths. “ And don’t call him an IT, he can hear us!” Righty whisper-shouted. Lefty rolled his eyes.

“Aw, come off it. It’s hearing ain’t that good. And what’d you expect me to do? Call im by his actual name? No way, no how.” Taking it as a challenge, Righty furrowed his brow in concentration.

“ Annnn-omy, An-tarney, Annnnthropey?” He tried to pronounce. Lefty just shook his head.

“ Don’t hurt yourself kid, just call it Anon, even the princess does that.” Righty frowned.

“But I heard he doesn’t like that name?” Lefty, starting to get agitated, turned to tell his partner off but immediately paused. His mouth hanging open as he looked at Righty.

“Is something wro~urk” Righty was silenced by a hoof to the mouth, both stood there like statues, listening.

tap… tap.. tap. tap tap.

The sound of footsteps echoed under the door.

In a smooth motion both guards stepped back. Facing the door, Lefty and Righty tilted their spears, crouching down in defensive positions.

tap tap…

A light, cool breeze flowed down the hallway, the ruffling of the guards manes beneath their helmets being the only signs that they weren’t statues.

click... creeeeEEEEK!

Both guards steeled their stances as the door opened a few inches before stopping.

CACRACK!!! Whoosh! Whoosh!

Both guards shouted in terror as they found themselves blinded and tangled as the door swung open and two white balls were thrown at them. Whatever they were, they'd quickly managed to trap the two helpless guards as they tried in vain to escape. Their spears had gone through the thin material and their stumbling and flailing only managed to make the situation worse. And from the sounds of metal hitting marble, Lefty could tell Righty had already tripped.

“Show your face beast!” Lefty called out. “Only a coward uses such cheap tricks!” He shouted. Ordinarily, such steel of tongue from Lefty could halt a minotaur mid strike, however the effect was rather lost now that he was stumbling around blind. Just as he finished that sentence, he felt a light pressure against his helmet. Cold fear spread throughout his body as he slowly turned his eyes to the source. Through the thin white material covering him, and by the outside light of the moon he could barely see the flat of a palm. The five long, fleshy claws that came with it lay flatly against his gold helm.

“aaaand push!” A young man’s voice said with mirth. The guard could only watch with mute horror as Anon did exactly as he said. Time seemed to slow down as the force against his head increased. His hooves left the ground as gravity seemed to shift. And poor poor Lefty, found himself clattering to the floor, just like his late-partner Righty. Anon chucked at the hapless guard before speaking.

“Oh, and by the way… The names Anthony.” The beast said, before turning and running only leaving the tip tapping of his footfalls, which quickly faded away.

Lefty lay there on the cold marble ground for a few moment as his senses readjusted, he could hear the clanking of his partners armor as he slowly stood.

“Eugh…” Righty groaned, working to pull his spear out from the clothy material they had been trapped in. “Are these… bed sheets?” He inquired. Still beneath his sheets a few feet away, unbeknownst to Righty, Lefty was quickly going a deep red in the face.

Leaping off the floor the enraged stallion furiously ripped the sheets off his person, tearing the fine cloth into shreds as he removed his spear from the offending bed covers. Seeing the sheer rage in his partners face, Righty took a step back. Lefty growled.

“We’re gonna find that ape, we’re gonna beat the stuffing outta’ him, and we’re gonna barricade him in this room to the point he’ll never escape!” He shouted, positively seething with anger. Righty took another tentative step back. “Which way did he go!?” The blank look on Righty’s face told him everything. “Fine, you go that way, and I’ll go this way, we’ll comb this castle till we find him, EVEN IF IT KILLS US!” Lefty stated manically, galloping off in his direction, which was, ironically, right. After a few seconds of watching Leftly leave, Righty sighed and began trotting left.

Seconds past and the hallway was silent again.

tip, tap, tip, tap

Anthony poked his head through the door of his room, looking down both ends of the hallway before retracting it, and slowly closing the door with a light click.

“Never change.” He said with a smile, turning back Anthony observed his current living quarters. His room was quaint, definitely not one of the more lavish or spacious ones in the castle, but it was perfect for him for a number of reasons. A small four poster bed sat against the left wall while the right had a few basic pieces of furniture like a writing desk and dresser as well as a door that led to a bathroom. And finally straight ahead was a balcony, otherwise known as his true means of escape.

Knowing he had to act quickly Anthony walked over to his bed, crouching down and reaching his arm underneath it.

“Annnd here we go.” He said to himself as he pulled out a length of rope. Well, they were actually a number of bath towels tied together to form a rope, but same thing, right? Anyways, after pulling it out Anthony slung the rope over his shoulder and moved over towards the balcony.

Anthony couldn’t stop a small hitch in his breath as he looked over the edge of Canterlot. Not because the scene was beautiful, which it certainly was, but because of the fact he was going to be hanging from a towel rope above it. Back on Earth it would’ve been impossible to see as much as you could during an Equestrian night. Thanks to the brightness of Luna’s moon he could see far into the distance, which was a good and a bad thing considering he could see the jagged, rocky bottom of the mountain. The sky however, was a different story. Even with the excess light, not a single one of Luna's countless stars seemed to dim. Below him he could hear the faint rush of the waterfall that ran from the city to the base of the mountain. And far in the distance Anthony saw the quaint hamlet of Ponyville, all the lights of which were out, except for the crystal castle. He frowned as he looked at it, knowing who resided inside. Turning his gaze back down the mountain, the human couldn’t help but feel his fear rise in his chest.

It ain’t the fall that kills you. Anthony thought to himself. And better to hit the ground faster than slower if I’m gonna fall anyways.

Taking a minute, Anthony tied the end of his towel rope to the railing, he gave it a few tugs to test the knot strength, more to reassure himself than anything else. He stopped to take a few calming breaths while giving himself some mental reassurance.

It’s cool, it’s cool, you’ve done this before don’t let the nerves get ya. Steeling his resolve the human threw the makeshift rope over the edge. Looking down the edge of the castle, Anthony targeted his quarry.

About twenty feet down and 10 to the left sat another balcony. Slightly wider in length and width than the one in his room, and his path out of the castle.

Thank you Celestia, for your love of trap doors and escape routes. Straddling the railing Anthony carefully placed his hands just above the first knot.

“Moment of truth!” he said before swinging his leg off the edge quickly placing them around one of the knots below him. He hissed in frozen panic as he prayed the rope would be enough to hold his thin form. After a second he dared open his eyes.

Seeing that he wasn’t falling to his death, Anthony breathed a sigh of relief. In terms of escaping, he’d been really lucky with the room the princess's placed him in. There were no guard patrols on the side of the castle overhanging the cliff, mostly due to safety and impracticality. No sentient species on the planet had the natural capability to climb the cliff face, well, a good human rock climber probably could, but last Anthony recalled there were none of them around here. And as for those that could fly, he'd learned that higher up in the towers they kept pegasus sentries to keep the horizons watched with their enhanced eyesight.

Slowly and carefully, Anthony made his way down the rope, placing his feet securely on each knot before sliding his hands down, rinse and repeat. His hands felt clammy and cold sweat beaded on his forehead before sliding to his chin and dripping down the mountain.

Anthony tightened his grip as a cold breeze came through, battering his frail frame and sending his rope swinging in a way he very much didn’t desire.

“Shit shit shit SHIT!” He shouted as he tried to stabilize himself. Somewhere above a thestrals ear twitched. Now or never. He thought taking a look at the balcony that was his destination. He was now parallel with it, the swinging of the rope already bringing him within five feet. Knowing what he had to do to get the rest of the distance Anthony began shifting his weight back and forth.

Three feet… one foot. C’mon c’mon… NOW! On the final swing he lifted his legs, barely managing to vault them over the railing. Letting one hand off the rope he stabilized himself. With a relaxed sigh, he took the rope and gave it a quick swing, sending a wave of force up its length. As the wave reached the top, like magic, the firm knot came undone and the rope fell.

“Thank god for coltscout knots.” He muttered to himself with a smile while winding up the rope of towels. Once he’d finished, he hoisted the length over his shoulders.

Turning to the open entrance, Anthony could already feel steam pouring out of the doorway, the gentle warmth caressed his skin, a welcomed respite from the sharp winds outside. No this wasn’t a bathing area as you might expect, it was actually the maids workplace. It had a laundry room, storage space, cleaning supplies, and everything else they could need on a day to day basis. Stepping in, he once again found himself in a familiar room, cute little pony cubbies lined the walls each filled with the respective maid’s things as well as extra sets of the frilly uniforms they wore. To his right he could see an open entrance leading to a large room with some murky vats of hot water, used for mass washing of clothes.

Anthony pulled at his blue t-shirt lightly, unsticking the fabric from his already sweaty body. While busying himself with this he didn't notice the fluttering of wings coming to a rest from the balcony.

“Hello Tony.”

“AH!” Anthony shouted jumping away from the mysterious voice behind him. Upon hearing the maid’s uproarious laughter his heart began to slow back down. “Oh… Hello Nightingale.” He said humorlessly.

Nightingale was… a curious night maid to say the least. Though it was hard to tell under the outfit, she had much thinner build than most ponies, luckily her fluffy bat pony fur seemed to compromise for it. To normal ponies, the thick maroon eyes and fangs she sported (which he could tell were as dull as a butter knife) would have been unnerving. Anthony just thought it made them even more adorable. This might've been one of the reasons the night workers were more accepting of him than other residents of Canterlot. While most of the other maids stuck heavily to the formalities of the job, Nightingale put life before work. It was something Anthony came to admire about the outgoing mare, but it also got her into a lot of trouble.

“Y-your scream, s-sounded like a little filly!” After about a minute of the thestral rolling around laughing she seemed calm down, getting up she spoke. “So what’re you doing here on this fine night?” Nighty said with a smirk. Finally having time to observe her, Anthony noticed that, along with her usual uniform, she had a stuffed white sack slung over her back, resting on top of her wings.

“I could ask you the same question.” He said pointing to her current load. Nighty’s grin only intensified.

“Oh, you know, I was just going about my rounds when I suddenly heard some shouting from the guards!” She said dramatically. “ And then, this rather angry looking day guard ran right by me. Why, the wind nearly blew my skirt up!" Anthony rolled his eyes. "And wouldn’t you know it when I checked out the commotion I came across these.” Plopping the sack on the ground she stuck her hoof in before lifting the contents out. Leaning down, Anthony rubbed his patchy-haired chin as he viewed the mysterious tattered bed sheets.

“Curious…” He said, intelligently inspecting the pieces. Nighty frowned.

“You wouldn’t happen to know who did this, would you?” She asked, the way a mother would a guilty child. Anthony lifted one of the pieces and studied the damage.

“No… These look like blade cuts through em’.” He said poking a finger through one of the holes.

“Tony, they were right outside of your room…” She said sourly.

“Very curious…” Anthony struggled to keep the smile off his face.

“And I’m going to have to throw them away now, these are expensive you know!” The young man scoffed.

“Oh come on, two sheets like that mean nothing to the princess’s, they could buy a million more if they wanted!” Nighty reached up, snatching the cloth out of the human’s hand.

“It’s about the ethical principle Tony.” She said exasperatedly. “You don’t see me going around destroying things in the castle.” Anthony gave the mare a deadpan look.

“Nighty, you work here.” The thestral glared at him as if to say ‘not the point’. “Also I could’ve done much worse. Remember last week?” The mare froze up upon hearing that, so much chocolate syrup, so many stains. She let out a sigh of defeat

“Fine, as long as you avoid making messes… like that, in the future.” She said with a huff. Anthony smiled.

“Aye aye cap-e-tan.” He said with a salute. After a moment of silence, Anthony clapped his hands together. “Well, this has been lovely, but I really have to go. You know how it is, people to be, places to see!” Walking up to one of the dark wood cubbies, he pressed his body up against it and pushed.

“Grrrr! Bit… Bit sticky today.” He said as he continued to fight the stubborn trap door he'd been seeking.

“Tony…”

“Huff huff. yeah?”

“It’s the one on your right…” She said, pointing to the cubby right next to him.

“Oh… oh of course!” Taking a step over he pushed the new cubby, with a click and a hiss the thing immediately slipped back into the wall and off to the side. Just as he was about to walk in, Nightingale spoke up.

“Tony, if you don’t mind me asking, where do you go? When you leave the castle?” She gave the human a concerned look. Turning back to look at her, he paused, thinking of the right words.

“I go to live, if only just a little.” He said with a lopsided grin. Giving a bemused smile, Nighty rolled her eyes.

“Well don’t die then.” She said sarcastically.

“No promises!” he responded as he entered the escape tunnel. Once he disappeared from sight, the door gave a hiss and a few clicks before sliding back into place.

And all was silent again...

"Strange... as always." Nightingale said to herself with a smile, hoisting the sack of sheets over her back once again, leaving the room to dispose of them.

Author's Note

So, now you are probably thoroughly confused, I hope it's more of an aching curiosity rather than raging confusion. Of course, all will be explained if you stick around. If you are curious (sort of spoiler)

Anthony get's the letter from the story description next chapter.
That might fix the timeline in your head for you if you're confused

Likes, dislikes, comments, suggestions, and so on? You know where to leave them.

2 - A Night Under the Town

I am, certainly not the smartest being in the world. You’d probably think that me risking my life dangling from a makeshift rope off the side of a cliff is… well, stupid. And in hindsight I’d agree. After all, what’s the point of doing all this anyway, if I just plan on coming back?

I don’t know… I really don’t.

Maybe I’m just starting to lose my mind, if I haven’t already. Or maybe it’s not that, maybe it’s just because, when you don’t have much left to lose, you’re willing to go much further for those fleeting moments of peace or comfort.

Yeah, that second one sounds better. And will keep me out of a mental hospital.

3rd person

Anthony walked through the damp and dark escape tunnel with practiced ease. Only the occasional gem lamps that lined the walls gave him vision, and due to the decades maintenance the tunnel lacked, the enchantments keeping the lamps bright had faded greatly. This wasn’t a problem for the human though. Having taken the path a number of times already, he could navigate them fairly easily. The only problem though, the tunnels were pony sized.

“OW! God flipping dang it!” Anthony cursed as he once again bumped his head against the low stone ceiling. Trying to rub the pain out of his head, he could already feel the lump starting to form. Groaning to himself, Anthony continued his journey.

“To think, I used to be claustrophobic.” He murmured. Yes, the tunnels were indeed small, and not very refined, the path was always twisting and turning on a downward slope. Not steep enough to be too dangerous, but enough to where if you tripped badly you could end up breaking something. Anthony was constantly shoulder to shoulder with each side of the tunnel sometimes having to turn sideways to fit through certain gaps and almost always kneeling down to avoid further head trauma.

During this time, Anthony reflected his previous actions of the night. This was't the first time he'd managed to infuriate and trick the guards, it was actually about the twelfth. Each time more unique a tactic than the last, well, accept for this one. The human resigned to the fact that he couldn't outdo himself after that chocolate syrup one. I mean, seriously, that was golden. Anthony frowned as he ducked under a small stalagmite, he had quickly become infamous, or more accurately, MORE infamous among the day guard since he started escaping. Not that he cared, they treated him like dirt anyways. The Night Guard were the true soldiers, at least, in his opinion.

After moving through the tunnel for what felt like hours, a cool breeze suddenly hit the sweaty, and now muddy flesh of the human. Turning the final corner, moonlight flooded the tunnel, revealing the man’s skin. Anthony took notice of a few scrapes he’d acquired on the sides of his arms and legs from hitting the walls, one of which was bleeding slightly. But the stinging from them couldn’t compare to the relief he felt about escaping the castle.

Just ahead of him was the exit, built into the side of a small cliff face. Anthony spotted the grated iron door, just behind which was~

“Dawn Water Park.” He said to himself. Otherwise known simply as Canterlot Park, officially this area was allocated for the preservation of local wildlife and a place of small respite from the city life for those who sought it. Walking up, he placed his hand on the cold knob before turning it. The clickings of tumblers activated as he pressed his shoulder up against the metal surface. Rust from the iron door now finding a new home on his hands and shoulder as he struggled to push it open. Once he managed to open the gap large enough to slip through, the human stepped out, filling his alien lungs with a deep breath of the fresh air. Ah yes, one could almost ignore the stench of arrogance Canterlot gave off within this park.

click, click, CACHUNK!

The door locked behind him, as usual. Not that he cared however, the hard part about his escapades was escaping, all he had to do to get back was walk through the castle’s front gate. None of this concerned him at the moment, as he simply soaked in the night bathed sea of green before him.

The moon and stars above gave light and made shadows. The sound of the night creatures permeated the air, hoots, chirps, and distant ribbits. The visible and audible swaying of branches in the cool wind sent a shiver down his spine. Ahead of him, he spotted a familiar path of what had once been bright yellow bricks, but had faded with time. Anthony laced his fingers behind the back of his head.

Where to go, where to go… The lake, the cliff, or just explorer. Down the right of the path was the small lake that was the obvious staple of Dawn Water Park, however the path as a whole made a big loop around it and going to the left was the closest way the hills many hikers would travel for the nice view overlooking the lake. On the other hand, that way would also bring him right to the edge of the city.

If a guard spotted me here they could trace my steps back to the tunnel and stop me from getting out in the future. Lake it is! With a spring in his step, and a smile on his face, Anthony turned on his heel and began running to the path and down to the lake. The freedom he felt almost making him forget about his weak, aching muscles.

Panting and sweaty, Anthony’s running began to slow as he spotted the shimmering blue water behind the trees. A small sandbar that was his destination lay ahead. While still trying to move forward Anthony began to remove his shoes and socks, hopping along on the opposite foot like an anime chick who was late on her first day of school.

Just as he finished removing them, his bear feet left the brick path, sinking into a cool sand.

“Ahhh…” Anthony let out a contented sigh, tossing his shoes and socks to the side he walked up to the water. Sitting down on the edge he stuck his feet out and placed them in the water, almost feeling ashamed that he disturbed it’s glassy stillness. However the guilt was soon lost as the cool sensation of the water lapping against his legs filled him. Sighing once again, he lay back, hand behind his head to keep the sand out of his hair as he looked at the night sky. Lifting the other hand up, he counted his finger widths beneath the moon. A simple technique he found to measure time in Equestria.

“About an hour and a half til sunrise.” He said with a frown, almost able to see the pearly-stone’s movement across the sky. She’ll start freaking out if I’m not back by breakfast. He thought to himself.

“Might as well make the most of it!” he said to himself, hopping to his feet, he pulled off his dirty shirt in one swift motion. Gazing down at his bare upper body, Anthony frowned. He wasn’t fat mind you, in fact it was quite the opposite. Visible ribs could be seen lacing his chest, no visible muscle whatsoever. Not emaciated, but definitely an… undesirable, and likely not healthy thinness.

I really need to find a way to get protein sometime… He thought to himself. The Castle didn’t have any meat and the things that could substitute it in his diet were few and far between. The lack of meat was mostly on Celestia’s preference. Not that she held any disdain towards meat eaters. Anthony had a feeling she must just get sick at the thought. Too kind for her own good. In more ways than one. He thought with a frown.

You might wonder how such an arrangement would work out if say a griffon ambassador were to come over. You'd think they'd be offended to not having their needs suited. But remember, Equestria is top dog, and because of that the princesses needs and desires come first. Anthony really had no idea how they survived the trip without food, he brushed the idea off, thinking it wasn't really his business anyways.

Out of habit, Anthony took a look around the area. Seeing and hearing nothing but the usual night occurrences, he slipped off the rest of his clothes, throwing them near the treeline before taking a step in the cool blue. No sense in getting them wet after all.

A chill ran through the human’s spine as he stepped deeper into the water. It wasn’t exceedingly cold or anything, considering it was summer, however whatever chill was in the water seemed to soak straight into him. Nothing a few minutes of swimming couldn’t fix. And he did just that.

The nighttime, the complete solitude, it was something Anthony couldn’t dream of getting in the castle. His escapades were a breath of fresh air to him, again, in more ways than one.

It wasn’t long before his body acclimated to the water, once it did Anthony stopped swimming and went about scrubbing off the mud and dried specs of blood he’d collected from the cave. As well as cleaning off the few cuts he’d gained to the best of his ability. While in the middle of trying to scrub his blackened knees, he froze as he heard a soft noise.

tink…

Anthony’s ear twitched as he picked up the tiny sound. Ordinarily, such a small noise could be completely lost in the background of most any scene. But in a forest at night, the sound of a glass tinking was clear as day to the man. He froze mid-scrub in the water, his heart involuntarily skipping a beat.

tink, tink…

Anthony carefully slid his body under the blue lake top. Leaving only his wet brown hair and dirty hazel eyes sticking out.

“He o-... -er.” Words, coming from behind the treeline. He couldn’t quite make them out, but he could tell the voice was light and young. He assumed it was a mare.

The fact that this mare was talking however, sent jolts of fear through Anthony’s spine. Knowing that had to mean there was more than one pony out there.

His thoughts raced as he continued to scan the treeline. Trying to calm himself down he tried to come up with some possibilities.

Ok, if they’re guards I’m done for. Night guard, Maybe not. Who knows though, it could just be some kids taking a midnight stroll. Or two lovers going to do the nasty in a dark forest… nevermind, that sounds less likely the more I think about it.

Suddenly out of the gloom emerged a face, while it was still too dark to make out any details, he spotted a short maroon mane just above a pair of thick brown eyes. And they were staring right at him.

Oh fuck! Oh shit! WhatdoIdo whatdoIdo! I could swim away. But my clothes! They’re right by the path.

Suddenly the face dove beneath the bushes as more whispering erupted from the treeline. Though, they only came out as garbled muffled to the distant human.

“So, how are we doing this?” One of the voices asked.

“What do you mean? Just give it to him!” Another argued. The first scoffed in response.

“Did you see his face? He isn’t coming over here.” The first once peeked her head just over the bush, still seeing those small, scared green eyes staring back from the darkened lake top.

“I could just bring him over here.” A third voice said mirthfully.

“Well, what do you have in mind then, Fiz?” A fourth interjected.

“That’s what I was asking you guys!” the first replied. Turning back she peaked over the edge, followed by the other three.

“Does he know how creepy he looks staring at us like that?” The second asked. The others simply shrugged.

Meanwhile from Anthony’s view.

Anthony had been floating in the water silently since he saw the first pair of eyes poke out. Once it had gone back beneath the bush he could make out the whispering, which had quickly turned into a full blown argument. He still couldn’t make out the words with the trees and breeze muffling them, but he knew that whatever it was it had to be about him.

Suddenly the first head shot back up from behind the bush, followed by three more. A pair of yellow and two blue pairs of eyes stared at him. His face blanched.

Oh god, that’s creepy! He thought, slinking under the water a little bit more. Thinking fast, Anthony tried to forcibly calm his breathing.

Alright… alright. They’re right by my clothes, and I certainly don’t fancy running through Canterlot back to the castle naked. If they’re guards I’m already done, and if they’re anyone else… then screw it, I choose nudity over the circus.

For now though, Anthony resigned to stay where he was. Watching and waiting.

Oddities view.

“Hey, what’s that stuff over there?” The second voice asked pointing to a few pieces of cloth strewn about on the path just before the sand. All eyes followed suit.

“I believe those are his clothes…” the third said thoughtfully. “We should take them.” He said with a dark chuckle. Knowing full well what they meant to the man.

“Oh, oh, put it by them!” The fourth suggested. “He’s gotta come back for them, right?” The others nodded in agreement.

“Sounds like the best plan we have.” The first said, lifting a white enveloped letter to the second. “Dizzy, if you please?” she asked kindly.

‘Dizzy’ rolled his eyes, then with a snap flash and pop (Rice Crispies!) the letter appeared on a now neatly folded pile of clothes just on the edge of the path.

“I still think it would’ve been better if we had just taken them.” He grumbled.

“Nevermind that, let’s get out of here!” The first said before turning and slinking back into the darkness of the forest. Unable to silence the tink tinks of her retreat.

“This week’s gonna be interesting.” The second said.

“No, kidding.” Two and four both followed suit, slipping away. The third, Dizzy, stayed behind for a moment, chancing a final peak over the bushes. The human was still there, eyes just above the water, staring back. A maelstorm of conscious raging behind them as they locked with pale yellow ones. He could see into them… the planning, planning for everything, anything. He could almost see the neurons firing off, like millions canons at war, resting just behind those hazel-green eyes, as dark as the Everfree.

“Finding order through chaos eh?” The third chuckled. “I have to agree, this week certainly will be interesting…”

*SNAP*

And with a small poof of magic, all was quiet once again.

Author's Note

Next chapter, thanks for those who followed, liked, and favorited. I will be picking up the pace with updates since exams are about over. My goal is one chapter a week, so things will be going down fast from now on.

3 - How to Unescape a Castle, a Human Guide

Wut…

Something had just gone on in front of Anthony, something that he couldn’t help but feel was important in some way. The arguing had finally come to a stop followed by a flash of light, which nearly caused the human to dive under the water in fright. But he continued to try and observe the treeline, still blinking spots out of his eyes from the flash.

He could barely make out the yellow pair of eyes poking back over the bushes. Immediately, he focused on them, ignoring the slight pain still present in his retina. They were strange, to say the least. Usually, when you look into someone’s eyes you can identify something about them. It’s not even a skill, it’s just an evolutionary tactic. But these eyes, every instant, every moment they were gazed upon gave a different though, not emotions, intentions. Like they were trying to describe the sheer magnitude of the creation of the universe with mere dilations, if that makes sense. However, there was one thing he could see that was constant within them, an ever present amusement.

“Interesting…” The voice behind the eyes said.

*SNAP*

“GOD DAMN IT, MY EYES!” Anthony shouted as the bright light hit them, causing him to once again try and rub the spots out of them. Even going so far as to dunk his head underwater to further cleanse the pain. It wasn’t until after about thirty seconds he was ready to look about again, seriously, those flashes were bright!

Anthony looked over the beach and through the trees once again. This time, unable to spot anything. He continued listening for any sounds out of the ordinary. As the minutes passed the human became more and more confused.

Did… did they leave?

No, there was no way, there had to be a trap or something, right? The flashes of magic, all the eyes staring at him. Well, he supposed, if it was a trap they really weren’t being inconspicuous about it. Deciding to take the risk, Anthony began slowly swimming to the shoreline.

Carefully stepping out of the water he made sure to cover himself where it counted. The forest was already starting to get brighter. Daring a look at the horizon, Anthony cussed under his breath.

“I’m gonna be late…” He murmured. With renewed vigor, the man walked up the beach to the path, completely forgetting about his worries. Only to have them replaced by more pertinent ones.

“M-my clothes! Where are they!” He shouted with urgency. He was certain he left them strewn about nearby, but where had they~

His eyes landed on something, resting slightly beneath a bush on side of the path. Or rather a pile of somethings. Stepping over, he crouched down to pick them up.

“Aha!” He shouted in triumph looking at his, somehow folded clothes. Anthony wondered to himself, could they have been the Night Guard? He was on pretty good terms with them, at least compared to their counter parts.

Pulling out his underwear and pants from the pile, he was suddenly aware of a white envelope as it fell out and drifted to the ground. Ignoring it for a moment, he slid his first two articles on before leaning down and picking up the offending note. Turning it over in his grasp he spotted a few words written in a very fancy calligraphy.

To : Anthony Nones

Anthony blinked a few times as he looked down at the letter. Confused and curious, he slipped his finger underneath the sealed flap, preparing to slit it open, but paused. The fear filled his mind once again. The mysterious four figures flashing in his head. In Equestria, a letter could contain anything from a magical curse to poison joke. Deciding to get it checked somehow before opening it, he slipped the letter into his pocket.

Once he’d finished putting on his, somehow now clean, clothes. He started to feel the sunlight against his skin as the morning rays were just starting to peek above the horizon, the light creating long golden rays through the trees and shimmering off the surface of the water. Dawn Water park indeed.

Somehow feeling refreshed despite all the pressure he’d just been under, Anthony retired his shoes before walking away from the beach, turning down the right of the path.

Up the hills, slip into town, and get to the castle. Damn it, I should’ve been out of here sooner! He mentally berated himself, not that he really could have gotten out sooner considering the circumstances of the night. But the fact was that going through Canterlot during the day was a... less than enjoyable event for him. Not to mention the inevitable ‘talk’ he would get once Celestia found him. Oh the joys of being the only member of your species! Anthony thought as he picked up his pace.

After about twenty minutes of light jogging he could see the white and purple rooftops of the city emerging through the treeline. Leaving the path Anthony found himself hopping off the dirt and walking into an alley between two of the buildings alongside one of Canterlot’s main streets. Of course, this was already relatively familiar to him, and finding the castle was incredibly easy, just head whichever way was uphill.

Still slinking about the alleyway Anthony poked his head out and looked down both sides of the street. Each building was fancier and more frilly than the last, all holding the white and purple themes, flowers and golden signs advertised all their over expensive wares in everything from chocolates to dresses. It was like a little girl tried to recreate one of the shopping streets of Washington DC. And then there were the ponies.

Anthony frowned as he looked down the street, Canterlot ponies were already out and about. Manes coiffed, makeup made up, and heads held high on many of them. Of course there were normal ponies there too, but many of them seemed drowned out by those few that acted “noble”.

Even though the streets weren’t very populated at this time of day, the cacophony of colors the ponies had assaulted him, almost causing him to turn back and head into the forest once again. But he knew he couldn’t do that. He had to get back to the castle, even though it may seem bad there he had some attachments, so to speak.

This won’t be fun, but it’s now or never. And with that the human stepped out into the street, keeping his gaze slightly lowered he swiftly turned to the left, smooth but fast steps bringing him on the slight uphill to the castle.

It wasn’t immediate like some stereotypical western movie, but Anthony could definitely feel the gazes of ponies turn to him as he quickly made his way up the street. Stares and looks of disgust were bearable, you simply didn’t have to look back. But then came the whispers, all the latest gossip on what the heretic beast was up to again, you couldn’t unhear it. How Celestia seemed unable to keep the thing under control. Even if he could barely make out the words, they ripped into him. And not into just pride as an individual, but his knowledge that their opinions on him could be reflected onto humanity as a whole. That was what angered him.

He dared not look at newspapers anymore since the first one he happened to find himself in. Their opinions of him were twisted but, in a way, understandable. After all, he didn’t act like the most ‘respectful’ person when he first came into Canterlot. It was with good reason sure, but that doesn’t change the public's outlook of things.

He was lucky, no one seemed to try any funny business with him today. Anthony had had things thrown at him before, including rocks. It was only after that first started happening that he was confined strictly to the castle by Celestia. Those were in the early days though, and since then things had calmed down from a boil to an angry simmer, at least from the nobles.

In the distance, Anthony finally spotted the castle gates, open to the world. The occasional pony coming for the early day court already filing in. The freshly switched in day guards were already on their patrols, standing by the gates, trotting along the walls, and even some flying from one golden spire to another, no doubt for other important reasons.

As he approached, the eyes of the guards at the front gate landed on him. Despite himself, he couldn’t help but smile. Even with all the trouble that he caused them, Anthony was under the strict protection of the princesses. Meaning that no matter how much they wanted to, to hurt him would be to go against the crown. Also seeing them glare at him coldly just reminded him of chocolate syrup, and all the other ridiculous escapes he’d devised, which brought him great joy.

“How ya’ doin gents?” He said jovially. All their gazes seemed to darken further at his words as they stared at him. Anthony couldn’t help but laugh for a moment at their expressions before continuing through the gates.

With a grumble from his stomach, Anthony suddenly realized how hungry he was. With a skip in his step he made his way across the lawn and through the grand doors, knowing his destination by heart, he spent the time singing to himself about food.

“Do you like waffles, yeah I like waffles! Do you like pancakes, yeah I like pancakes~” All the way to the dining hall. Or, he would have, if he didn’t run into a third degree sun burn.

The halls of the Canterlot castle were just as grand as the outside. Intricately framed windows lined the outer wall with small decorative tables with vases full of flowers beneath them. On the other side lay the doors that went to other sections or rooms that an inexperienced pony could so easily get lost in. Turning into a hall he came upon a set of larger doors, which he knew at first glance was the dining hall entrance. Images of various breakfast foods haunted his vision, causing his mouth to salivate as he placed his hand on the doorknob.

“Anon!” A powerful and angry voice called out. Even though it was nowhere near the decibel level of the old royal Canterlot voice, he couldn’t help but flinch. Turning his head, Anthony’s eyes landed upon the angry magenta orbs of the solar diarch in all her royal digs. Brow furrowed and rainbow mane fluttering in it’s mysterious magical wind, as golden shoes clacked lightly on marble. She marked over, accompanied by two familiar, and sleep deprived guards.

“What is it…” He responded tersely as she stopped just feet from him. Despite being slightly shorter than the human’s eye level, she still managing to look down upon him .The guards, Lefty and Righty, as Anthony had so dubbed, held triumphant smirks on their faces.

Her eyes scanned him up and down, pausing on the dirt on his knees and under his fingernails, as well as the red lump on his head and scratches on his sides. Her angry gaze quickly changed to that of worry.

“Anon, what happened to you?” She asked, lifting a hoof and placing it on the sore part of his forehead, causing him to flinch back in response. “Who did this to you?” Her voice becoming angry.

“No one did this to me.” Anthony said sternly, swatting her hoof away. “And I’ve said for you to stop calling me that.” He crossed his arms angrily. Celestia frowned at him.

“As long as you continue to disobey what I tell you to do, for your own safety might I remind you, then I will call you what I so choose.” The guards were looking between the diarch and the human nervously. “Should you seek to rectify these decisions and not continue them in the future, then I will address you as you so wish.” She finished. The human scoffed.

“Like that’s gonna happen. I have a better idea! Stop posting guards on me 24/7, and I’ll consider not getting hurt next time I leave the castle.” False amusement never leaving the human’s voice.

“I know you know exactly why I do this Anon…”

“Because you’re paranoid?”

“Because I care about you.” She said. The human laughed.

“Yeah, right. I’m really feeling the love right now.” He reached up and knocked a hand against the marble wall. “Yep really feeling it radiating from these thick stone walls, and on the tips of those spears that are constantly within ten feet of me.” He said, gesturing to the guards.

“Anon…” She said warningly.

“Yes my queen?” He asked sweetly, with an evil smile. Celestia’s eyes went wide in shock, an intense anger playing behind them for just a moment before she paused, letting it out in a long sigh.

“Alright… I understand your plight, Anthony.” She said, returning to using his actual name. “But be warned, should you continue this trend in the future, there will be... severe punishments. Guards.” The two guards on either side of her turned and gave tired salutes, minds still trying to comprehend what just happened. “Go get some sleep the both of you, no sense in having you doze off while on shift.

“Yes princess.” They both said in unison before trotting off down the hall to wherever the solar barracks were. Celestia lit her horn, the golden aura covered the door to the dining hall and pushed it open.

“I believe you’re late for breakfast Anthony.” She said, little emotion to her voice. With a nod he stepped through the door, the princess lightly shutting it behind him. She stood there for a moment, hearing the light taps of his shoes on marble fade away, before she too began slowly trotting down the hall.

Anthony… She though. How can you get your point across so well, yet be so cruel at the same time…

Images of ponies and thestrals alike flashed through her mind. Memories from days of old. Shouts of queen and tyrant ringing out from mobs, jabbing at her ears and mind. Flames to ashes, the sun branding the moon, the swift ‘justice’ of a princess upon her own sister. A lone tear trailed down her cheek, quickly being wiped away with a white silken hoof. Must save face.

Thank you… Anthony.

“THERE ARE NO FLIPPING PANCAKES!!!”

Author's Note

Jeeze, Anthony's a jerk, and Celestia's got a Luna complex. He's got the letter and we've already had a small sample of what at least two of the Oddities are. So, tune in next time for more on...

ODDITIES ANONYMOUS!

Seriously though guys, those who've liked, faved, and commented so far have given me a huge confidence boost in my writing, so thanks! It might seem like little to you, but it's a lot to me. I'll make sure to keep the updates flowing :D

I wrote and edited this chapter in one day, the day after the support came in from the second chapter. I'm only spacing them out between the weeks in case of writers block or some other occurence slows me down. Sorry!

4 - A Letter from Nocturn Alley

Anthony grumbled to himself as he muched on his oats. Not oatmeal, dry oats. Apparently, in Canterlot oatmeal is considered commoner food. Why? Because it’s soggy or something? Anthony didn’t know, but he did know that plain oats was considered a ‘healthy breakfast cereal’ for adult ponies. Also the waiter outright refused to give him any hot water for it! Or, well, he might have, but Anthony’s sudden outburst about the lack of pancakes had effectively cleared out the dining hall. He was very late though, so it was only like, five servers he scared away.

He couldn’t help but grimace between the bites he took, only being able to wash it down with water didn’t help the fact. You’d think that after a year the man would’ve just gotten used to eating dried oats most mornings. But a lifetime of Cinnamon Toast Crunch™ with a glass of milk, and maybe some yogurt or a banana. That can’t simply be undone in a year!

Anthony looked up out the windows that spanned both sides of the dining hall, it was a clear morning. The fresh looking sky only serving to remind him it was fixed through magic. He couldn’t help but notice that the skies in Equestria always felt sort of fake to him. Does using magic to make the skies clear make it a ‘fake’ day compared to Earth? This was one of the questions Anthony often wondered about, ultimately meaningless yet thought provoking. In his opinion, sunny Equestrian days were missing some sort of spark that ones on Earth had. Maybe it was their lack of an effective “in between” between sunny and stormy days. Solid cloudy days didn’t exist, neither did scattered showers, and partly cloudy days just looked too calculated.

His thoughts suddenly turned back to the letter he’d received, still resting snugly in his pocket. Taking another bite of oats and leaving the spoon in his mouth he pulled the paper out of his pocket. It seemed just that, a regular white envelope. He traced his fingers over the sides and rubbed the fine calligraphy depicting his name on the front, he even went as far as sniffing it.

Nothing out of the ordinary that he could note. By feel, it seemed to just be a folded piece of paper inside. By smell, well, it smelled kind of waxy for some reason, but Anthony didn’t think any curses or poisons smelled like that. Can curses have smells? Another thought provoking question which he stored for later.

Even with his analysis, he didn’t want to risk the consequences opening it could bring. Placing the letter on the table next to his bowl, he popped the spoon out of his mouth.

So… who could I have check this. Hmmm. Nighty might be able to! But she’s a pegasus, you probably need a spell for this sort of thing. It would make sense for the maids to help out spell-checking mail considering the quantity they likely get daily. Heh, get it?

After fully realizing what he just did, Anthony couldn’t help but groan at his own bad joke. This type of thing was becoming more common for him in recent weeks, he viewed it as his mind finally starting to crack. It was either that or a mark of the end of days. Probably both.

Lifting his arms up, Anthony let out a loud stretch/yawn combo. Pausing mid intake as a familiar smell filled his nose. Sticking his nose under his pit he took a quick wiff, recoiling slightly at the scent.

Damn you pits! Why must you stink? It’s not like the have deodorant in Equestria to quell the beast. Thinking about it though, Anthony really did need a shower. Skinny dipping in the park didn’t really count considering he didn’t have any soap. He also got pretty sweaty on the way back anyways. I’ve been sweating quite a bit recently, maybe the malnourishment is starting to get to me… He thought about bringing it up with Celestia again, she definitely wouldn’t be allowing any meat around her, but maybe he could get some nuts or soy into his diet.

Pushing his empty bowl away from him, Anthony stood up. Putting those thoughts into the back of his mind, he decided to focus on getting to his room and taking a shower.

Canterlot castle’s layout was overly complicated to say the least. Apparently, this was actually an anti-siege tactic. Yeah, there were no murder holes or moats, there were just mazes. And this, accompanied with the numerous escape tunnels, made it seem as though this castle was designed to be more easily escaped rather than defended. The only thing that likely kept other countries at bay was the princesses themselves, and the huge economic hit the world would take should they succeed.

The complexity of the castle didn’t matter though, Anthony knew the way to the specific places he wanted to go in the castle. And if he didn’t, he’d have to wait til night and ask one of those guards or maids. The day workers had lied to him about these sorts of things before.

Coming up upon the hallway that lead to his door, he spotted a new set of guards that were posted outside of it. Fresh meat!

Walking up, one of the guards finally turned to him. Anthony could immediatley tell that they were new! As in, he hadn’t pulled an escape on these two yet. Their brows were stern and irritated, but not the loathing he’d get from the guards he’d played with before. The closest one spoke up.

“Anon, we’ve been sent by the princess to~”

“Don’t know, don’t care” Anthony interrupted, opening the door and slamming it behind him. Unbeknownst to him, the guard let out a huff before returning back to his position. Now back in his familiar room, the man let out a long held sigh of relief.

“Welp, time to clean up...”

Steamy water rained down on the human as he proceeded to clean himself thoroughly with the provided soaps. Singing various tunes from Earth as he did so. It was a thing he started doing very early on in his days in Equestria. A technique to keep them in his memory, after all, he didn’t conveniently end up in this world with his phone in his pocket. Nope just some polo pajama pants and an athletic shirt.

Anyways, the shower was amazing, the dirt seeming to fly off the Anthony’s body as he scrubbed it down. Once he’d finished and stepped out, he found that his towel supply had been refilled. Grabbing one off the shelf, he scrubbed as much water off his body and head as he could before wrapping it around his waist. Turning back to the shelf he grabbed the rest of the towels, placing them under his arm. Had to get started on next week’s towel rope after all.

After stepping out he threw the towels on his bed, his eyes catching a flash of white resting on the end of it’s freshly made covers. Lifting one of the towels up Anthony was surprised to find another letter. Picking it up and looking it over, he quickly noticed some key differences. There was no address or recipient written on the front, and on the back a blue wax seal held the letter closed, half moon insignia pressed into it.

A smile appeared on his face as he immediately recognized it. With a flick of his fingers, Anthony pulled the carefully folded paper out and opened it before reading.

Dear Anthony,

Firstly, I would like you to note that I am only putting your first name in the address, as I feel that we have moved passed such formalities, at least in terms of letter sending. But that is not of the point in my message today.

I have sent you this letter to formally request your presence in our chambers once again. I greatly enjoyed the last night we spent together, and wish another with you. It was an invigorating experience that I believe allowed us both to relieve unneeded stress.

Although the RISK game you showed us is entirely inaccurate to real wartime strategy, and somewhat repetitive, I came to understand the appeal and joy those could have in playing it. But in that, I also believe it is a game better suited for more than two players. But this is not about the RISK game. I would like to ask if you could show me another one of your Earth’s many games this morrow night. I will help by providing any materials you may need when you arrive should you require them.

PS. I missed you at breakfast, Tia ate all the pancakes. I thought you would like to know that.

“I flipping knew it…” Anthony murmured to himself angrily. “Also, it appears that I am now in partial ownership of Luna’s chambers, best bring that up with her.” He said with a grin. Anthony let out another yawn, the lack of sleep last night was finally starting to get to him.

After slipping on his clothes, which were still relatively clean from whatever magic had been used on them, Anthony hopped onto his bed. Setting Luna’s letter and envelope down on his bedside table before pulling the mystery one out of his pocket and doing the same.

Grabbing some of the towels he put the semi-large pile of them directly on him before finding a comfortable position. Holding back his tired eyes for just a moment, he contemplated how he’d spend the rest of the day.

Alright, at this rate I’ll probably be sleeping here until mid afternoon. Then I guess I’ll head to the library… again. At least until night rolls around. Nothing much else to do in this place.

And with that, Anthony allowed his eyes to close, near immediately falling into a deep dreamless sleep.

5 - The Friend of my Enemy is my Frenemy

Anthony was in another of his dreamless sleeps, it was a phenomenon that was discovered about him soon after he’d been confined to the castle by the princesses. Not that he cared. Dreams were never a thing that came often, if at all to Anthony in his days before Equestria. Hell, Luna had even looked into why he wasn’t dreaming at one point and she didn’t come up with anything. Why did she fail? Well, how do you find something wrong with someone's dreams if you’re the master of dreams and they aren’t having dreams? Anyways, the only explanation Anthony could come up with was that his basically mind never got bored in Equestria. Well, he did get bored of course but his mind always had something to think about, and because dreams occur in order to keep the brain stimulated while you sleep it would make sense that a thoughtful mind wouldn’t have them. Sort of...

Ultimately this just left Anthony’s mind in a blissful darkness when he slept, a place where he didn’t have to stress or worry about anything until he woke up.

Anthony’s eyes opened slowly. Like a garage door whose gears were just starting to rust over. Reaching up a hand, he attempted to rub the crust from his peepers, only to be unpleasantly surprised when his hand slapped across his face lifelessly with an audible smack.

“What the?” Anthony grumbled to himself, suddenly taking notice to a heavy tingling sensation racing through his arm. A feeling he soon identified with having slept on the limb.

“Bah!” he said to himself, shaking the arm from his shoulder, the odd cold sensation of blood refilling the appendage sending a shiver up his spine as he sat up. Though the mid-afternoon light still streamed into the room, Anthony could still feel the familiar haze over his mind that one who didn’t sleep well would often get.

A funny thing about Anthony, he didn’t like sleep, like at all. It’s a hard thing to explain to those who happen to really enjoy sleep. But for a man like Anthony, sleep seemed like such a waste of time. The only reason he did it nowadays was because there was nothing else to do, oh and also something about needing it to survive or whatever.

Time passed in a blur as he got out of bed and freshened up. Suddenly finding himself dressed and out in the hallway, Anthony felt the strange haze of sleep finally starting to ebb away. Closing the door he felt the eyes of the two guards trained on him. He was now on his way to the library. Why there of all places? It seemed that there would be many things for one to do in such a large castle. This was, quite literally, the most powerful place in the world after all.

Bedrooms, and ballrooms, and meetingrooms, and diningrooms, and kitchenrooms, and cleaningrooms. That was what the most powerful building in the world consisted of. The only exceptions to this being the stations for the guards, which Anthony wouldn’t dream of going near during the day for fear of his life, and the library. Of course the princesses also had some personal areas of theirs like the private baths and Luna’s observatory, but those were off limits for obvious reasons.

If there had to be any plus side to Anthony’s forced forevercation it would have been the improvements to his reading skill. He tended to find himself within the confines of the library almost every day, reading up on whatever he could about the world. After all, he didn’t plan on staying in the castle forever.

As he walked, Anthony could hear the rhythmic tapping of the guards hooves as they followed him through the halls as per their duty. He was so used to it nowadays he almost didn’t notice. However, whatever part of him did notice was still irked by their presence. Anyways, there’d be time to deal with them soon enough.

After what seemed like miles, Anthony found himself at the grand doors of the library. Knowing what to do, the guards posted themselves on each side of the door respectively. Unlike a lot of the other doors in the castle, the library’s ones were mostly glass, more specifically, a mosaic of colorful stained glass pieces that turned the mid-afternoon rays into a myriad of deep reds, oranges, and blues. The sight alone brought a small comfort to Anthony as he stepped inside, closing the door lightly behind him.

“Who is iiiITTT YAAAAH! *OOF*” Anthony cringed as he heard the shout and thud from within the confines of the library, worry setting in as he quickened his pace into the center of the jungle of books.

“Mr. Light? Are you okay?” Anthony called. Finding his way to the main desk he started looking through the nearby ailes.

“Over here young lad!” The breathless pony’s voice called. Turning, Anthony followed the sound through the shelves to one of the many corners of the library.

There, laying barrel up sprawled on the ground beneath a ladder was a blue unicorn, a duel crescent cutie mark adorning his flank, and a pair of reading glasses skewed on his brow.

“Mr. Light, you okay?” Anthony said, rushing over and lifting the downed pony back onto his hooves.

Night light shook his head, trying to reorient himself from the fall before reaching up a hoof and straightening his glasses. Blinking his eyes back into focus, he looked up at his bipedal savior.

“Anthony! Thank you for your help, these old bones surely needed it. And yes, I believe I’m alright.” He said, giving the man a warm smile. Oddly enough, Night Light was one of the few ponies he had met that was actually able to pronounce his name. Anthony could only attribute it to him having worked in a library his whole life. The man shook his head.

“Firstly sir, you’re not that old. You’ll know you’re old because I won’t hesitate to call you it when you are. Secondly, whether or not you are old you need to be more careful, you don’t realize how hard a knock to the head from that fall would be until it happens.” He finished sternly. Night Light gave a small roll of his eyes.

“Alright, alright, I’ll be more careful next time. Anyhow, what brings Equestria’s one and only to the library today?” He said, looking up expectantly.

Night Light was a very kind pony, not in the same way that Anthony was with Nightingale or Luna. It was a sort of mutual respect that the pony seemed to radiate. Anthony couldn’t really describe it, but he often found himself calling the middle-aged stallion with more formal titles than he would other ponies.

“I’ll just be looking around as usual, I think I can find my way around here by now.” Anthony said with a small smile, gazing up at the rows of books around him. Night Light nodded, following his gaze.

“I wouldn’t doubt it; however, if you do happen to need anything I’ll be at the front desk. I think I’ve done enough reorganizing for today.” He said, rubbing a sore spot on his shoulder with a hoof.

After exchanging farewells Anthony began combing the various halls and floors or the library, occasionally finding a title that piqued his interest and slipping it into the slowly growing stack in his arms. Once he was satisfied with the number he had, he made his way over to a large lounge chair at the end of one of the aisles and set about reading.

Unsurprisingly, one of the subjects that Anthony found himself delving into the most was magic. It was something that both constantly intrigued and frustrated him to no end. Why? Well, imagine asking a ten year old how gravity worked, and then imagine having whatever their answer was be the scientific definition of gravity. Now do that for every science related topic and you basically have what magic is, or at least how it is within literature. Anthony turned the page, reading to himself.

“Oblivion Memoria, a subsection of mind control and memory magic. This ancient spell held the capacity to completely erase all personal and intimate memories of anypony being subjected to it. This spell renders them to a state often compared to retrograde amnesia, causing them to completely forget their past experiences, the ponies closest to them, and even the meaning of their cutie mark; however, for as powerful and difficult as this spell is to cast it has its drawbacks. In the same way which one with amnesia can gain their memory back through interactions with friends, family, and familiar environments, this spell can be countered as well. In fact, according to first hand accounts, the mere touch of somepony from their lost memories can break the magical seal and return all of their memories.

Thankfully, this spell has been outlawed for centuries now. The last known tomes detailing how to cast Oblivion Memoria, and more intricate variations of it, was destroyed by the hooves of Princess Celestia herself in the year 456 ANM. No occurrences of this spell being used have been reported since.”

Anthony closed the book, setting it down on his lap. A disgusted frown adorning on his face. The golden leaf title “Of Minds and Magic: The New and Old” shown up at him.

“That… wasn’t what I was expecting.” He muttered to himself. Indeed, when he’d spotted the shiny book resting upon it’s shelf he expected it to be some sort of intermediate guide to magic use, or a history of how magic was taught. What he didn’t expect was a complete history and organized list of various illegal and LEGAL spells designed to effect a pony's brain in one way or another… kinky.

I all seriousness though, most were basically things along the lines of concentration spells and ones that could help somepony’s dyslexia or coordination. What Anthony didn’t expect was to flip the page and find a plethora of subjugation spells, memory erasing and rewriting spells, and some even more intimate ones… Ones that “tickle the brain” if you get my meaning…

Anthony read over the last paragraph again. Taking note of the princess’s name.

“So… Sunburn destroyed the last one eh?” he said to himself, scrutinizing the page. That means she likely has knowledge of the spell itself. Luna might to. Spooky.

Anthony leaned back, looking up at the tall white ceiling and did his best to recall his old family to mind. He smiled as their faces appeared clearly in his head. Mom, Dad, Tom, Mary. He thought to himself, recalling the happy memories of his youth and the time with them. Playing video games with Tom, helping teach Mary to read and having snowball fights in the backyard together. He recalled his Mom, with her compassionate and firm attitude and how she almost always laughed at his jokes, good or bad. Finally his Dad, the playfully sarcastic man who never failed to encourage Anthony and his siblings towards greatness. He chuckled to himself.

He was lucky, and quick thinking, the second Anthony had managed to get his hands on some paper and writing implements he drew his families portraits from memory as fast as he could. Good thing he was at least half decent at drawing, after about the fiftieth portrait each he’d gotten them all drawn perfectly, down to the tiniest freckle. He could remember them without fault. He had those, as well as anything else he could remember and write down from his time on earth hidden away in the desk in his room, it was almost overflowing by now.

Anthony’s smile faded as he thought back to the spell, and to earlier today, the princess’s words echoing through his head “but be warned, should you continue this trend in the future, there will be… severe punishments.” A sudden shiver traced it’s way up the man’s spine.

She’d never do that… right? I mean, she's a jerk but she’s not THAT bad. Also, Luna would totally flip out if she did that. I wonder if she could reverse it? A sudden shift in the light caught Anthony’s attention. Turning his head he looked out one of the many library windows overlooking the lush castle grounds and noticing the sun starting to dip just past the horizon. His eyes widened in panic.

“Oh shit…” he said to himself. “I forgot to think of a game to play with Luna tonight!”

Author's Note

...
something something...
what year is it?
...
Have a good day and stuff.
I'll try to write more, sorry.

6 - Shall We Play a Game?

Anthony sat silently in the lounge chair that had been spooning him for the last few hours, continuing to stare out the window. The sun flashing a spectrum of warm colors across the darkening city as it finished slipping beneath the horizon. The moon no doubt replacing it on the other side. Letting out a long sigh he placed his hand to his forehead with a groan.

“Fuckin’ el mate.” he muttered in an Australian accent for no reason in particular. Leaning down he grabbed his stack of books from the ground and got up, setting them on a nearby shelf to come back to later. Stopping for a moment, he noticed just how stiff he felt from his long reading session. To counteract this, Anthony started bouncing lightly on his toes, shaking his head and shoulders to loosen the muscles and remove any kinks he’d gained. Once he was satisfied, Anthony took one final deep breath before turning on his heel, jogging out of the aisle and through the halls. row after row of overstocked shelves disappeared behind him as he picked up his pace. After turning into the main foyer he rushed by the main desk, startling Night Light who jolted up from his book suddenly.

“A-anthony? Where are you going?!” He called to the man running to the door. Anthony didn’t turn back, throwing the door open.

“I’m late! I’m late! I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!” Anthony repeated frantically as he zoomed past the two guards at the entrance and continued down the hall. The stoic soldiers paused looking at eachother for one second before blunderingly scurrying after him, all while shouting “Halt” ’s and various obscenities.

Night Light sat silently at his desk after watching this exchange, before suddenly bursting into a small fit of laughter. After calming down, he readjusted himself back into a comfortable position, pushed up his glasses, and returning to his book with a smile on his face.

Outside, Anthony sped down the hall with the speed of a man whose girlfriend had told him she was home alone. Maids, servants, guards, and even the occasional noble found themselves dodging as he rushed past them. Though Anthony wasn’t as fast as the guards chasing him, his human ability of making sharp turns with little loss of momentum gave him a huge advantage as he navigated his way to the lular wing. As he ran, he soon noticed the walls seamlessly transitioning from their usual eggshell white to a deep blue, the various furnishings that lined the hallways changing to accompany it.

Anthony could hear the rapid clip-clops of his pursuers gaining on him, as well, he was starting to feel the strain on his legs and lungs. His labored breaths being a clear indication of this. Hearing this the guards sped up in turn. As the man turned down another of the countless hallways, he double checked his mental map, noting he was almost there he tripled his efforts.

Anthony noticed the guards hooves coming closer and closer behind him, He guessed they within ten feet by now. This could mean a number of things in the next few seconds. The best possibility was that they just kept following him like they were supposed to, but he knew from experience this wasn’t likely. What would probably happen would be that they would take his running as an attempt to escape, which means that once they were in range they would tackle him to the ground and restrain him, and he’d also have to have another talk with Celestia. Not fun, but especially so when you’re tackled and your head is on a collision course with marble. As Anthony thought about this, the pain ravaging his body seemed to miraculously vanish as he approached the last turn.

The entrance to Luna’s room was just as lavish as her sisters. Intricate silver columns lined the blue marble hall, each with the flat of an outlayed square midway up it’s tower. All of them detailed with a depiction of a phase of the moon. In Anthony’s opinion, it was a very unique design, as when you walk up the hall the waxing phases of the moon would be on your left and the waning on your right. So if you were to walk up and down the hall, the full cycle of the moon would follow you on your left.

And of course because of this design, the full moon was at the end of the hall, more specifically, a shining silver disk above the door itself, the craters that were meticulously hammered out in the metal caused the light from a crystal chandelier above to shine and sparkle off of it in a spectacular way. Beneath this was Luna’s door, mahogany, detailed with the cutie mark of the mare herself.

There were two guards by this door as well, however, as per the norm of the night, they were thestrals. Their simple but elegant blue armor and helms fit the scene perfectly just as Anthony came blazing around the corner like a madman.

He noticed that the thestrals, who were previously tense upon hearing the shouts and running from down the hall seemed to relax upon seeing him. Anthony frowned to himself.

Am I really that predictable?

He skidded to a stop just before slamming into the door. Placing his hand on his knees he attempted to calm his erratic breathing, though because of the layer of sweat now covering his hands and skin, he couldn’t stop himself as they slipped from his knees and his exhausted body crashed face first into the floor. Both the thestrals flinched emphatically after his contact with the marble before quickly stepping to his aid.

“Sir… sir are you alright?” The one on his left said, not knowing what to do he simply poked the downed human in the shoulder, but stopped when he felt the sweat on his hoof and wiped it off on the ground. The other shook his head.

“It looks like he’s dead, it’s a damn shame.” The guard smirked, clearly seeing that the man was still breathing. After a second, the other seemed to get the joke and chuckled to himself.

“Heh. Can I keep the body then? Who knows what he would sell for!” The first guard rubbed his hooves together greedily. The other tapped his chin in thought.

“I dunno… I think Nightingale already called dibs on him. It’s sad really, who knows what she’ll do to him.”

The first guard grimaced slightly. Having personal experience with Nightingale’s flirty nature, he knew she had a few kinks, even more so after a bit of drinking. His gaze traveled down the exhausted body of Anthony to the oddly shaped hooves on the end of his legs. Not knowing what feet or shoes were, the grey sneakers looked completely alien to him.

“I wonder what his hooves look like?” He asked, trying to imagine what strange appendage could support the biped so steadily. But for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything other than an ovular hoof, that couldn’t be right though, could it? The thestral was taken aback as his partner walked over, grabbing the left shoe with his hooves.

“Well, let’s find out then!” The guard stated, giving the shoe a firm tug...

“NOT THE FEET!!!” Anthony shouted, wrenching his foot, with shoe in tact, away from the curious guard’s hooves. Scrambling, he quickly got to his feet. Evidently too quickly, as a wave of dizziness took his head and he had to lean on a pillar for support.

“not… the feet.” He murmured tiredly as he felt his senses slowly coming back to him. Before anything else could happen, the two sun soldiers came around the corner at full speed. As they closed the distance, Anthony stood, closing his eyes and bracing for the inevitable impact.

But it never came.

Upon opening his eyes, Anthony came face to face with a not too uncommon standoff. The thestrals, who had moments ago been relaxed and even joking with each other, had become steel. Their faces holding a common simmering frown and their bodies in rigid powerful stances as they attempted to stare down the unwelcome newcomers.

The day guards, having not anticipated the fleeing human’s destination were put off by both the thestrals sudden presence and cold attitude. They looked at looked at one another for a moment before giving Anthony one final glare and turned back down the hall, walking away and posting themselves just outside of view. Anthony let out a sigh of relief.

“thanks guys.” He whispered, as to not let his “security” guards overhear him. They both nodded before turning, each wrapped a hoof around one of the silver door handles and pulled, a small rush of air tickling the man’s skin as they did so.

Taking a step, Anthony passed through the grand doors, but not before hearing the final words from the guard on his right.

“By the way, you’re late.” And with another rush of air, the doors closed behind him.

Anthony raised an arm, scratching behind his head as he took in the scene around him. The room was about four times the size of his own. At the far end of the room was Luna’s bed, large and ovular in shape, a headboard sticking up from the flattened edge that was placed against the back wall. To the left wall was a comfortable lounge chair, surrounded by bookshelves, with a tall intricate golden lamp pointed towards the chair. Lastly, to the right was a grand open balcony with stone rails, upon which a fine silver telescope sat, pointed forever towards the stars.

While busy taking in the details of Luna’s room once again, he almost didn’t hear the chime of a voice that was the mare herself.

“You’re late…” Alright, maybe less of a chime and more of a condescending gong. Anthony turned, his eyes meeting hers. Luna, the mistress of the night, sat behind a modest wooden tea table, two cups of steaming brew resting on it, and a single chair across from her. Her mane seemed to shimmer and twinkle more brightly than usual in the confines of the dim room, Anthony had to focus as to not get lost in staring at it. He also took notice that she was wearing her royal garments and sat in her chair formally, not stiffly, but in a perfected balance of power and relaxedness, like Anderson Cooper. Casually walking over, he pulled out the chair and sat down. But of course it was pony sized, so his legs bunched up in front of him like he was in a kindergarteners chair.

“Yeah, sorry about that just lost track of time.” He said, giving her a sheepish smile. Luna raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing across her muzzle.

“Indeed?” She asked mysteriously. Anthony stared at her for a moment before cautiously responding.

“Yes… indeed.” Everything Luna did and said had meaning behind it, like a question on an AP test. It was something Anthony had become familiar with the more and more time he spent with the mare and was also one of the many reasons he enjoyed spending time with her. She was like a little puzzle he could decipher each time they met. Little did he know, she felt the same way. What was most curious today however, was that she didn’t even attempt to hide her feelings. The smirk that told him so much yet so little. Was it a feint? Or did she have some sort of ace up her sleeve tonight? Either way, Anthony had no choice but to play along.

“So... how has your day been? Sleep well and whatnot?” He said, trying to probe the conversation. Luna’s smirk shifted to a smile of content.

“I’m surprised that you would still ask me such a question.” She replied, somewhat haughtily. Anthony refrained from rolling his eyes. “But yes, my sleep was as restful as always. Though, I could ask you the same question.” And there was that smirk again.

If you’re gonna keep acting like that you’ll have to work a bit harder…

“Yes, you could.” Anthony said, picking up his cup of tea and testing it with a small sip. Jasmine. Luna blinked owlishly for a moment before frowning at him.

“Anthony…”

“Yes?” He said with a toothy smile.

“...How was your sleep?”

“Oh? My sleep? It was just as good as yours, I assure you.” He took another slow sip.

“Your eyes deceive you.” Luna said, taking note of the dark bags still present within her dark room.

“Goodness is also a relative term.” He replied before placing the tea cup against his lips and flipped his head back, downing the rest of its contents. Setting his cup down he sighed at the unamused expression on the Moon princess’s face.

“Look, I just woke up a couple of hours ago. I’m perfectly fine right now.” Luna seemed to relax at his words.

“Good, but know that should I feel you’re putting your health at risk with your nonsense I won’t hesitate to cast a sleep spell on you.” She said sternly. Anthony groaned.

“Alright, alright, I’ll just sleep a bit more.” After checking his face for any signs of deceit a smile once again worked its way onto her face.

“Excellent! Now, shall we play a game?” Anthony froze, recalling that he had never actually come up with a game for them to play. It was the whole purpose he was there after all! He racked his brain for any ideas.

Games, games, uhhh board games? Monopoly? No, too ragey. Shoots and ladders, no too childish. GOD DAMN IT! Card games? no NO NOOOO!

Realizing he was still sitting there frozen, Anthony attempted to stall for time.

“Y-yeah, I had the perfect idea… for something… that we… could play. It just requireeeesss a um, deck of cards! So why don’t I just sit here while you go~” Anthony was interrupted when Luna’s horn for a split second and a pack of cards appeared on the table.

“Oh…” He said, Luna smiled at him innocently. “I~uh also, also! We need chips, for you know like betting and stuff.” Another flash and a few sets of colored chipsets appeared as well. An idea suddenly came to the man and he had to suppress a smile. “now a fish.” Luna looked at him suspiciously.

“A fish?” She repeated. Anthony nodded.

“Yep, cod preferably.” Low and behold with a poof and a slick slap a codfish landed on the table.

“Nice.” Anthony muttered to himself.

How far can I take this?

“Just a few more things. Now, what I need is a diamond about this big” Anthony held up his fingers about two inches apart. Luna stared at him coldly. Noting this he looked at his fingers again, spreading them apart a bit more before smiling back.

“I know you’re just making this stuff up Anthony.” The man burst out into laughter.

“It was worth a shot. I’m keeping that fish by the way.” He reached out for slippery seafare, stomach grumbling as he imagined various ways to cook the sucker up. Sadly, once his hand was within an inch of the morsel Luna’s horn lit and the table was cleared in a poof of magic. Anthony pouted to himself.

“Lucky for you I happen to have an idea of my own for our game tonight. We were told it is a great way to make friends and improve relationships among ponies!” Luna said confidently. It was now Anthony’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Praytell, what sort of game is it?” At his words, Luna sat up in her chair raising a hoof to the sky dramatically.

“TRUTH OR DARE!!!” She thundered, lightning striking outside of the window on cue. Anthony stared at the mare in shock, alarm bells going off in his head telling him to bail. But a more logical thought suddenly came to mind.

What sort of idiot told her truth or dare could strengthen relations, let alone make friends?!

Luna lowered her hoof till it was pointing directly at Anthony.

“DEAR ANTHONY, WE CHALLENGE THEE TO A MATCH OF THE TRUTH OR DARE, DOES THOU ACCEPT MINE OFFER!” Anthony was forced to clench his hands over his ears at the sheer power of the royal canterlot voice. Once she’d finished he relaxed, trying to think of all the consequences there could be for accepting or denying her request. Checking over his mental list there were many for both sides. His thoughts turned back to the letter still in his pocket. It was the perfect opportunity. He nodded to her.

“I accept.” The boom of thunder echoed throughout the room as lightning once again struck outside, catching his eyes. Turning back to the mare in front of him he could just about see her horn flicker out in conclusion with the thunder. Noticing that he’d caught her, Luna coughed into her hoof awkwardly and quickly tried to change the subject.

“Good, well… since I was the one to propose this game, I believe it is only fair that you get to start. Are you familiar with the rules of this game?” Anthony nodded. “Wonderful! You may begin when ready.” Anthony placed his elbows on the table, putting his hands beneath his chin as he leaned forward.

“Alright, I suppose. Luna, truth or dare.” He said. Luna thought for a moment before replying.

“Let us start this off slowly. Truth.”

Author's Note

Next chapter...

The Big Reveal!

Stay tuned!

7 - The Big Reveal!

Truth…

The word resounded in his head like an echo as he racked his mind for what sort of question to ask Luna. He obviously couldn’t ask her about the letter, no, that had to be a dare. “Luna is this letter dangerous?” he’d ask, and she’d respond, “I don’t know” versus “Hay Luna can you check to see if this letter is dangerous”, “Sure”. But even with this minor setback, being able to ask the Moon princess any question and getting an honest answer was a golden opportunity.

So, I get to ask a being with what many would equate to godlike power any sort of question my twisted mind desires? Anthony had to keep himself from laughing out loud maniacally. Seriously though, I really shouldn’t ask anything weird or embarrassing, that’ll just create a backlash when she gets to truth or dare me. So, we’re right back where we started, what to ask? It needs to be logical, something that would give me a deeper insight to this world… AHA! Got it!

“What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?”

“I don’t know.”

FUCK!!!

“My turn!” Luna cheered, clopping her hooves together happily as Anthony mentally berated himself.

I could have asked her anything! ANYTHING! Secrets to power, how to gain wealth or esteem, blackmail material for Celestia! And I wasted it for some stupid reference from home! Augh, what kind of idiot am I!

“Anthony, truth or dare?” Her words snapped the man out of his trench of self loathing, he responded quickly.

“Er, uh… Truth.” Luna took a moment, lifting her tea in her magic and taking a sip as she though. Anthony braced himself for whatever terrible secret of his she would try to unveil.

“Do you… like to sing?” She asked with a smile. Anthony sat up, slightly taken aback by her question. He shook his head slowly before speaking.

“No, not particularly.” He answered honestly. Luna nodded, gesturing to him with a hoof to continue the game.

“Okay, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Might as well go for it. Anthony thought to himself.

“What is Celestia’s biggest secret?” Luna’s eyes widened for a moment, but her faced ultimately remained stoic.

“My sister is deathly afraid of blood.” Anthony looked at her surprised, but yet deep down he was not really surprised at all.

“Blood? Like getting it on her coat or something?” Anthony asked, curiosity building. Luna shook her head.

“Though you have already asked your question I suppose I will indulge you for clarity’s sake. My sister has always been afraid of blood ever since our youth, though I do not know why. The longer we have lived the more control she has gained over it, but still, when she sees blood Celestia will often exhibit more rash behavior, in bad cases she even becomes visibly frantic. Because of this, I trust that you will not use this against her nor divulge this information to anypony.” She said, giving Anthony a very serious glare. The man nodded.

“Look Luna, I’m an asshole but I’m not bad enough of a person to use someone’s darkest fears against them. I hope you trust me at least that much.” Luna relaxed, placing her cup down lightly.

“I do Anthony, I just wanted to be sure that you understood. The result of thoughtless actions on this matter could lead to, at its worst, a global political backlash.” She stared at her cup for a moment before looking back up at Anthony angrily. “Also, watch thy language!” Anthony chuckled to himself prompting an eyeroll from the mare who huffed before continuing with the game. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Luna tapped her hoof on the table lightly.

“How do you feel about Twilight Sparkle…” Noting the concerned look on her face he chuckled darkly.

“Getting serious now eh?” He asked, Luna nodded. “Let’s just say, I’d give her a serious licking if I could get away with it.” Luna’s disturbed look prompted Anthony to double back, waving his hands at her defensively. “NO! That isn’t a euphemism! What I mean to say is I’d give her the ol’ one two you know?” Her expression didn’t change. “Gah! I would hit her! I don’t like her, how else can I say this!” He said in desperation. The mare mouthed an “oh” of understanding.

“Fear not Anthony, I cannot judge you on your opinion in this matter as I myself can not claim to understand what it must feel like. Though I would advise against hitting my sister’s ex-student no matter the degree of force. I think you could guess as to why.” She said, Anthony waved a dismissive hand.

“I said if I could get away with it. Which would obviously never happen with prissy pants herself presiding over the new pony princess.” Luna barely held in a snort of laughter. Anthony, not wanting to talk about the purple abomination any longer Anthony continued the game.

“Truth or dare, Luna.” The mare furrowed her brow, studying his face closely. Taking a moment, she sipped on her tea once again before responding.

“We’ve beat around the bush enough. Dare.” After she spoke, Luna found herself slightly shocked as Anthony's attitude pulled a complete one-eighty, the previously stiff frowning man breaking out into an ecstatic smile that made her suddenly fearful of what the dare might be. Anthony reached into his back pocket, and to her surprise, pulled out what appeared to be a plain white envelope.

“I have a rather peculiar request of you.” Anthony said, tapping the note in his palm. “I dare you to safety check this letter for me.” Luna, confused and bewildered, said the first thing that came to mind.

“What?” She watched as Anthony placed the letter down on the table.

“I want you to check this letter, with your magic, for any malicious or harmful intent. So that when I should decide to open it, I will have the safety of mind knowing that I won’t be poisoned or cursed or receive anything else of the like.” He concluded, crossing his arms confidently. Luna continued to look between him and the letter.

“Who gave it to you?” She asked. Anthony shook his head.

“Not your turn. Now, if you please.” He said, placing a finger on the letter, sliding it over. Luna took another moment to stare at the envelope before lighting her horn. Her familiar blue aura surrounding it as she closed her eyes. Though Anthony had no means of knowing it, the mare casted a total of 62 spells in just a few short moments. Hexes, curses, poisons, spells, each possibility being crossed off in the blink of an eye, and each material that the letter actually contained being identified and categorized. She spoke them out loud.

“Paper, ink, wax, artificial colorings, and… trace amounts of sugar?” She said, opening her eyes and releasing the letter from her magic.

“So, it’s safe?” Anthony asked. Luna nodded in confirmation. “Sweet!” he said, reaching over and snatching the letter back. “Your turn.” Luna gave the content human a cold stare before continuing.

“Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

I have you now! Luna thought to herself.

“Who gave you that letter?” Anthony’s cocky smile didn’t diminish.

“I don’t know, a couple of creepy forest people... Really though, why would I have it checked if I knew who gave it to me.” He does have a point there. Luna cursed herself for her ill thought out question. She’ll just have to get him to divulge the information some other way.

Wait... creepy forest people?

“Truth or dare?” Anthony asked. The game continued. Without thinking Luna responded.

“Dare… NO WAIT!”

“I dare you not to truth or dare me about the letter again!” Anthony said, loud and proud. Seeing the Moon princess’s defeated face, the man burst out into laughter. With his every guffaw, Luna felt a seed of vengeful anger slowly tugging inside of her.

“Truth or dare.” Luna said sternly, causing the man’s smile to fade.

“Alright, alright,” He said, coming down from his high. “I’ve had my fun. Now it’s your turn. Dare.” The man yielded. Luna, now with opportunity in hoof, collected all the information she knew about the strange “human being” in her head, attempting to formulate the best possible dare. Then suddenly it came to her.

“Anthony Nones, we dare thee…” She paused for dramatic effect. “TO REMOVE ALL THY CLOTHES!” She ordered, blatantly lighting her horn, magicing lightning to strike outside the window once again. Noticing the shocked look on his face, she burst into maniacal laughter.

“What? No!” Anthony said sternly, causing Luna to immediately pause and turn to him.

“Excuse me?” She asked, almost believing she’d heard him wrong.

“I’m not taking off my clothes, that’s too far.” He said defiantly, squaring his shoulders.

“I don’t believe I gave you an option in this Anthony. Remove your clothes.” She said, her words an icy chill. But the man seemed unaffected by them.

“Luna I don’t think you understand~”

“Oh I understand perfectly…” Luna interrupted. “I understand your cultural norms as you yourself has explained them to us previously. And know this Anthony, that is exactly why I am doing this.”

“Oh…” Anthony said, turning his gaze to the ground. Knowing that Luna had the power to easily remove his clothes, and possibly prevent him from ever wearing any again, he let out a defeated sigh and began removing his shoes. Luna watched closely as he removed both of his worn grey sneakers with practiced ease, not even having to undo the knot. Next were the strange white pieces of cloth that covered his “feet” as he called them. Luna’s mind raced at all the strange alien possibilities that could be beneath them as he put his “finger” under the left one’s lip and pulled down. Luna let out a gasp.

“By the maker…” Luna said. Anthony, who had just started to remove the second sock, paused looking over to her. “THEY’RE ADORABLE!” She shouted, somehow managing to squee in the royal canterlot voice. Before he could react, Luna’s magic surrounded his ankle and, literally kicking and screaming, his foot was dragged into Luna’s waiting hooves. Having been pulled forward, the rest of his body was wrenched from the chair, his back impacting the cold stone floor as his other leg hung limply in the air. His declothed foot, now captured by Luna, was being glomped to oblivion.

Okay, this could not get ANY stranger. Anthony thought to himself.

“And it smells divine!” Luna said, rubbing her face between the toes and sending a tickled jolt up the mans leg.

WELP! I was asking for that, no point in complaining. He thought, finally submitting to the foot snuggles that Luna was dishing out for some reason. After about another minute of playing with his toes, shoving her nose in them, and generally being a creepy foot molester, Luna seemed to calm down. With a final sigh she released the appendage, allowing it to fall to the ground with the rest of the man. Finally free, Anthony stood up, brushing himself off before adjusting his chair and sitting back down, making sure to give Luna a very unamused look. Seeing this, Luna laughed sheepishly.

“It seems that I may have lost my decorum for a moment there, I sincerely apologize.” She said guiltily. Anthony held his stare. “A-and because of this, we choose to negate the rest of our dare.” His eyes softened, and he let out a sigh of relief as he leaned down to collect his sock and shoes.

Damn, that was close. Anthony thought as he finished putting the sock and sneakers back on where they belonged. Sitting up, he discreetly rubbed a hand along his shirt, tracing the prominent ribs along his chest. It’s best if she didn’t worry… He thought, before putting his hand down as to not linger and raise suspicion.

"So it's my turn again right?” He asked, Luna nodded. "Cool, lets get rolling again. Truth or dare?” Unlike before, Luna took a bit more time to think over before answering.

“Since you have allowed us to… indulge, we will allow you. Dare.” Anthony thought for a moment. He wasn't really mad about the whole foot thing, more creeped out than anything else, but he still needed something good.

"I dare you… to give me your crown for the night!” Luna looked at Anthony in shock.

"You dare to take a princess's crown?!” Luna exclaimed. Anthony nodded exaggeratedly. "Fine.” she said, removing it from her head in her magic and setting it down on the table. Anthony leaned forward wrapping both hands around it before picking it up and placing it on his head lightly.

"I'm da princess now!” He said happily, Luna nodded.

"You certainly are.” She replied jokingly, and with a single burst of magic from her horn another crown appeared on her head, identical to the first. Anthony stared at it confused. ''Illusion magic, can't let everypony know I let you snag my crown for the night.” she said, reaching up and touching the "crown” only to have it shimmer and her hoof move through it. He nodded in understanding.

“Ah… You know your magic’s bullshit right?” He said, still studying the fake crown for any imperfections.

“As you have said many times before.” Luna drolled.

“Because it’s true!”

“Truth or dare, Anthony.” She said, really not wanting to get into this argument again. Anthony huffed before choosing.

“Dare, again.” Luna smiled forebodingly, as Anthony, curious and nervous awaited her response.

“Anthony, we dare you…” She really likes those dramatic pauses doesn’t she? “To sing to us some of the songs from your world!” This time Anthony was more confused than anything else.

“What? What’s up with all the singing stuff? I just told you that I don’t like to do it! And before you say that’s exactly why you want me to do it, I’ll tell you now that I suck at it.” Anthony said, frustration building. Luna jumped to her hooves.

“No you don’t!” She froze before quickly sitting back down. “Or, what we meant to say was that we are sure that your voice sound fine, great even!” Luna finished, a twang of nerves to her voice that Anthony noticed immediately.

Something’s up… He thought studying her features as she regained her composure. She acted like she’d heard me singing before, . But that’s impossible, I don’t sing, not seriously anyways, well, accept in the shower.

Anthony’s eyes bulged as the implications of her statement suddenly came to him. In the corner of his vision he noticed Luna nudging her chair back slowly. But a firm doubt still remained in his mind. No, she could have just heard me humming or something in the hall, I still can’t jump to conclusions. Anthony’s mind flashed back to the last time he’d sang. It was just after he’d eaten breakfast. He went to his room, took a shower and sang a few tunes before getting out… and finding Luna’s letter, the letter which hadn't been there when he entered the room, on his bed.

“You sneaky little pony.” he muttered under his breath. “You’ve been sneaking into my room?! While I shower!” He shouted accusingly. Luna chuckled nervously as she used her magic to continue to slowly back up her chair. Oddly enough, this caused Anthony even more confusion. Warning bells were going off in his head, something about her behavior was off.

“Why, are you doing that?” Anthony asked. Luna paused, staring at him silently. “Why are you nervous about this. You just dared me to strip down in front of you. You’re acting too nervous…” Then suddenly it clicked. “You’re acting!” Anthony bolted up from his chair and began pacing up and down the room. “As well, how would you have known when I take a shower? You couldn’t have used a spell or anything, the day guards would’ve noticed, at least after a while.” The cogs whirred and buzzed in Anthony’s head as link after link fell into place. He put his hands on his forehead.

“Nonononono way. No fucking way. You knew all along! You know everything don’t you.” A smile was slowly spreading on the mare’s face. “Not only today were you in my room but you’ve been in there a number of times! And you had to have known when I’ve been taking showers, and since your magic couldn’t have helped you you would’ve had to have someone on the inside. Someone that was close to both my room and me… Oh my god, Nightingale.” Luna’s smile continued to grow. “So, Nightingale has been spying on me for you, giving you information on where I am and my schedule so you can sneak in and listen to me in the shower?” Anthony shook his head, there was still something missing.

“No, but you wanted me to find this out, you’re smiling right now. Had you been serious in keeping this a secret then you could have easily hidden the signs from me. So why didn’t you… Did you just want to reveal this to ask me to sing? No, it’s too elaborate, too well thought out.” The gears clicked once again. “AHA! Truth or dare was never tonight’s game was it? Tonight’s game was a game of the minds! Well then, call me Sherlock because I solved your puzzle!” He ended dramatically. After a few seconds, the sound of Luna hooves clopping together rapidly met his ears.

“Bravo!" She cheered, prompting Anthony to take a deep bow. Forgetting he was wearing Luna’s crown, he barely managed to catch it before hitting the floor. “We must admit, we did not fully believe that you would solve it. I was surprised at how quickly you put things together after dropping the last clue.” Anthony walked back to his chair and sat down.

“It was brilliant! Aw man, I haven’t had that much fun in a while!” He put his hands behind his head, soaking up the euphoria of the moment. “Give me a hug!” Before Luna could react, Anthony dove across the table, wrapping his arms around the blue mare who let out an eep of surprise at the sudden contact. A red tint taking over her muzzle as he started rubbing his face around in her soft chest. After having his fill, Anthony released the thoroughly flustered mare, returning to his chair with a big smile on his face. “Consider that payback for the foot thing.” He said. After calming down Luna brushed the fur on her chest back down with a hoof.

“I suppose that’s only fair.” Pausing, she lifted her tea cup, which luckily hadn't been knocked over, and finished off it’s contents, setting it down with a sigh before continuing. “Though, before anything else happens, I would like to explain to you why I did what I did.” Anthony curious as ever, sat attentively. “It all began about two weeks after your first escape. I had received word that you had somehow managed to not only bypass two of my sister’s guards, but also escape the castle with no detection. I became curious. Knowing that my own presence would not go unnoticed, I assigned our night maids that were on duty in your wing to keep an eye out should you attempt another breakout. After three weeks, the only reports that I had received were ones in which you had a minor scuffle with the guards, diverted them to other locations with your various shenanigans, and went back into your room. Only to come through the front gates the next day.” Luna paused for a short breath.

“To find out exactly where you were going I posted Nightingale in an area from which she could observe the balcony of your room… Little did I know that after she figured out where you went she would go talk to you about it and regularly, and you became friends.” Anthony shrugged. “She told me of the secret passage in the maids locker, and after researching I discovered you found it through the old blueprints in the library. So I now knew about your schedule, your escape route, and you're certain bathing tendencies.”

“Because of the danger that you put yourself under when you, how shall I put this, hung yourself from a towel rope off the side of Canterlot castle, I assigned Nightingale to watch over and catch you should you make a slip up. She was there every time you made the climb...”

“I also didn’t want to be dishonest with you about my, spying, as it were. But I didn’t know how to explain myself. That’s when I began planning out the clues and little bread crumbs I’d drop for our game tonight. And I am glad to say that it seems to have turned out well.” She concluded, Anthony smiled and nodded.

“It seems so.” They both fell into a comfortable silence, drinking in the fresh memories of the night’s events. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.” At her words the grand doors creaked open and one of the thestral guards poked his head through.

“Your highness it’s~” The guard paused upon noticing that not only Luna was wearing her usual crown but now Anthony was as well. Luna nodded at him to continue, snapping him out of his stupor. “Uh, it’s thirty minutes until night court begins.” the mare nodded.

“Thank you, you may return your post.” Luna said, prompting a nod and salute from the guard before he turned and exited, closing the door behind him. Luna turned back to Anthony.

“Well, it appears that our time together is just about up. I am glad to see that you had fun. May we have many more nights of the like!” She raised a hoof to the air. “Also give me that back.” In a flash of magic the dark crown disappeared from Anthony’s head, replacing the illusioned one on her own in a quick poof. Anthony pouted.

“Our time grows short as the night reaches it’s peak. Dear Anthony, you must depart once more. I believe this has been an enjoyable and enlightening experience for us both. Also, to aid in your future escapades, when you return to your room you will find a rope hidden within your closet. Knock thrice upon the back panel and the compartment holding it shall open. Now, go and get some more sleep, adieu and farewell!” Luna lit her horn.

“But I’m not~”

POOF!

“tired…”

Author's Note

Also, I suppose I was teasing a bit with the title, though this was still a pretty big reveal! But ya'll have been waiting for it long enough so...

NEXT CHAPTER:

THE REAL BIG REVEAL XXIV EVEN BIGGER, EVEN REVEALIER. EVEN THOUGH THE LETTER IS ALREADY THE STORY DESCRIPTION
BUAHHHHHH (dramatic movie trailer bass noise)

??? - 7 Months Earlier (Winter Special)

7 months earlier…

It was a lonely night, the stars twinkled brightly in the dark equestrian skies, lighting up the variety of cities and towns throughout the land in its pale glow. The air itself was a bitter cold that felt like knives of ice as it wisped through the snow covered hills. To many Equestrians, this cold may have been acceptable because of certain obvious biological reasons, however to a certain human, the cold was almost numbing and the weather miserable. Up, high up in a lonely room on the far side of Canterlot castle. The light sounds of a rough pencil scratching on paper echoed throughout a bare room.

A small candle lit the table where Anthony sat as he performed another one of his writing binges. Without any form of fireplace or furnace in his room the space had become nearly as cold as the dead winter outside. Luckily, he had the glass balcony doors to thank for protecting him from the winds.

“Gah, Damn it!” Anthony muttered to himself as his hand gave an involuntary twitch, sending a streak of rogue graphite across the page he was currently working on. He paused to let out a sigh, the hot air of his lungs condensing into a small fog as it left his mouth.

Why does it have to be so cold? Why did the princess of the bloody sun decide to build her castle on a frozen desolate mountain?! Anthony thought to himself, lamenting over his current situation. Anthony looked over his current work, a sufficient stack of paper about a quarter inch thick sat in front of him, with other individual pieces scattered around the desk. Every page was covered in either thick text, various sketches, or both.

The human mind was the greatest tool. That was what Anthony had been taught. But the mind has a tendency to fail and forget. So, upon fully realizing that Equestria was to become his permanent residence, Anthony took up this practice as a way preserving his home on paper. The fully fleshed out drawings of his family sat hidden in the drawers, as well as hundreds of pages of information on everything from types of government to philosophies to poetry to schematics. Biology, chemistry, stories, engineering, laws, theories, bits and pieces of information both fractured and whole. Enough to send the scientific community of Equestria into a frenzy of innovation, but that wasn’t what it was for. No, Anthony would burn the desk before he let that pandora's box be opened.

Anthony tossed the pencil down on the table. Crossing his arms he attempted to rub them together for warmth to little avail. Groaning, Anthony stood up and began walking over to the bed. Thankfully, the sheets were thick and with his tiredness finally starting to get to him sleep seemed like the best option, despite his distaste for it.

Just as Anthony was about to lift the well made covers to get in, a firm set of knocks permeated the room.

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!

“Ehuhuhu why now?” Anthony whined to himself as he put the covers back down and shakily walked to the door. Leaning against the wooden frame he put a hand to his cheek and spoke.

“Oh, no thank you sir we don’t want any of want cha’ sellin!” He said in a childish voice.

“What?” Came a distinctly female but muffled voice through the door.

“We’re also vewy firm in our beliefs, so you can just move along!” Anthony studied his fingernails as he waited for the pony to leave. A few seconds passed before the mare responded.

“Anthony, it’s Luna. May I speak with you?” Hearing the friendly name, the man suddenly dropped his cocky demeanor. Standing from the doorframe he turned the knob, opening the door just enough to poke an eye out. A smile spread across his face upon seeing the Lunar diarch.

“Ah yes, my room service! I would like a bottle of champagne, some fresh towels, and a slice of raspberry cheesecake, if you’d please?” Anthony asked respectfully. Luna gave a roll of her twinkling blue eyes.

“Up to your usual shenanigans I see?” She said with an amused grin. Anthony opened the door wider and shrugged.

“Someone’s gotta’ do it, otherwise we’d all end up as crabby as these lads.” He said pointing to the solar guards on either side of the door who didn't seem to react. Anthony stuffed his hands into his pockets, casually shifting his weight onto one foot. “So what brings you here tonight, or did you just want to gaze upon my handsome face.” He said, giving his face a vanna with his hand. A sudden snort caught his attention, ripping the smile from his face as he spotted it’s originator, the guard to the right of the door. Luna didn’t seem to notice as she continued.

“Very funny Anthony.” Luna said with a smile. “Though your face does brighten my Night I have come for yet another reason.” This caught Anthony’s attention as he stood up straighter. “I would like to extend an invitation to you, to join my sister and I for our hearths warming celebration tomorrow night.”

What?

“You, and your sister... for hearth's warming?” Anthony asked incredulously. Luna nodded.

“Yes. Oh! Are you unfamiliar with the holiday. I can inform you on the traditions and history if you’d like?” Anthony waved a dismissive hand.

“I’ve, done my research. But! While I greatly appreciate the offer, I also have my own traditions and customs to keep up with, sadly they will keep me occupied for most of the week.” He said, matter of factly. After hearing his explanation Luna furrowed her brow, staring up into Anthony’s eyes intently. Realising what was happening, Anthony tried to hold his gaze as best he could. Emphasis on tried.

“You’re lying.” Luna said stoically. Anthony groaned, knocking his head against the doorframe lightly.

“Look, I really don’t want to offend you or anything, but I know that this holiday means a lot to ponies and I didn’t want to be the one who ruins it for you.”

“Lying doesn’t suit you Anthony… Is this about my sister?” Anthony remained silent. “Anthony! You know have to let go of this, grudge, sooner or later.” Anthony’s ear twitched as his frown grew.

“You hesitated… you were about to say ‘petty’ grudge weren’t you?” He asked, a spark of anger flaring inside of him. Luna mentally kicked herself before letting out a slow breath, shaking her head slowly.

“I admit that I was about to say that, as you could clearly tell; however, I did not. I understand that your animosity towards my sister is by no means small and at least on some level justified. But you have to let go of this anger eventually, for both of your sakes, lest you be consumed by it.” the moon mare said, a touch of sympathy to her serene eyes. Anthony frowned.

“This isn’t a movie, Luna. Things like that don’t happen.”

“What of Sombra then? How do you think he came to be?” Luna asked.

“Daddy issues and systemic racism.” Anthony answered in all seriousness. Luna stared at him, frustrated and bewildered.

“What?! What does that even mean?” Anthony just shrugged. Luna, anger mounting, practically growled at the man. “GAH! How could any being that exists possibly be as annoying as you!” Surprised by her sudden outburst, Anthony took a step back.

“Uh, am I to assume that was a rhetorical question? Because if it wasn’t I~” Luna interrupted him.

“You are going to spend hearth's warming with my sister and I. Whether you come willingly, or I have to teleport you down there is your own choice!” And with those final words Luna turned and began stomping down the hall. After a few steps she stopped, seeming to relax. “Don’t… worry about bringing any gifts, I understand that you’re situation here prevents you from, that.” Luna lit her horn, and with that where once stood the princess of the moon and stars was nothing but a few sparkles of fading magic dust. Anthony stood there for a few moments, silently contemplating.

“Disgusting…” At the sudden voice Anthony turned, noticing that the solar guard by his door had spoken.

“Excuse me?” Anthony asked with a raised brow. The guard stared him in the eyes.

“It’s disgusting, your attitude towards the princesses.” He said, holding his glare on Anthony.

“Really? Care to elaborate?” Anthony asked. The ghost of a smile appearing his face as the guard stepped towards him.

“The princesses of Equestria, raisers of the sun and moon, and global peacekeepers invite YOU a lazy, arrogant, and above all else disgustingly disrespectful creature to join THEM for the most important holiday that we Equestrians have! And what do you do when they do this? You brush them off as if they’re nopony worth your time! I’d heard rumors about your nature, but this, this goes far beyond what I had expected!” The guard’s face was contorted in a snarl, his righteous fury almost palpable. Anthony looked at him, a sudden spark in the man’s eyes that the guard couldn’t quite place.

“Firstly, a correction. The only pony who isn’t worth my time is Celestia. Secondly, the only people who need respect are those whose skins is too thin to handle simple words. And thirdly I… What’s your name?” Anthony asked. The guard looked to his partner before hesitantly responding.

“Solid Stone.”

“Solid Stone, I would like you to imagine something for me.” Anthony took a breath. “Imagine, one night, that you’re going to sleep at home in bed just like any normal pony would do. But, instead of waking up to Celestia’s lovely bright sun, you find yourself in a cage in someone’s basement. You’re confused and disoriented, and suddenly a strange creature you’ve never seen before comes walking down the stairs. You try and talk to it, and it somehow speaks your language! But it treats you like a parakeet, and when it comes all you can expect is to be poked or prodded or stabbed by it repeatedly. Then, one day when you’re finally let out of that infernal cage, you're taken to the creature’s teacher, and she says ‘Oh, we’re verrry sorry, but you’re never going home. Your family and friends will never know what happened to you. They might think you were murdered, or committed suicide, or maybe just ran away. But don’t worry, we’ll let you stay here. Only condition is you can never leave, and everyone in the city HATES YOU BECAUSE OF THE OUTBURST THAT YOU HAD AT ME, THEIR OH SO GLORIOUS LEADER, WHEN YOU FIGURED THIS OUT. SO DON’T WORRY ABOUT FINDING THE HAPPINESS OR LOVE OR THE PROMISING FUTURE LIKE YOU HAD BACK HOME, BECAUSE YOU CAN STAY WITH ME, PRINCESS CELESTIA, AND WE CAN DRINK TEA AND EXCHANGE PRESENTS WHILE I, THE ETERNAL GODDESS EVERYONE PERCEIVES ME TO BE, WATCHES AS YOU SLOWLY ROT AWAY, TWO GUARDS ALWAYS THERE TO CATCH YOU IF YOU TRY AND LEAVE!” Anthony, whose face had become increasingly red throughout his rant, finally took a breath. Stone fared much worse, eyes wide with fear and having backed up into the wall. Never had Solid Stone ever seen such anger in a creature before, and it’s effect had him fighting against hyperventilation. However even with all of this he still managed to croak out two words.

“Y-you're lying…” He said in a breathy whisper. Anthony, having calmed his own breathing, leaned down, coming eye to eye with Stone.

“Disgusting…” He said menacingly. Stone stared deeply into the eyes of the creature, the HUMAN, Anthony. He took notice of the deep greens and browns, the colors of the irises shimmering and waving under the torchlight of the hall. Reminding him of a storm crashing through a dark forest. As he looked into them, Stone suddenly felt as though he was lost in that storm, coat cold and wet as a heavy dread filled him and he ran through the darkness. A muffled voice rang throughout the forest.

“Stone! Stone, snap out of it!” Solid Stone found himself pulled from his trance by his partner, looking identical to him in the enchanted armor. He shook his head before pushing the partner off of him.

“What? What do you want?”

“You’ve been standing here staring off into space for like a whole minute! What did that thing do to you?!” The other guard said worriedly. Stone lifted a hoof to rub his eyes.

“I’m fine, nothing happened. But…” Stone paused.

“But what?”

“I’m resigning, after tonight…” If Stone’s partner had said anything else to him that night, it hadn't registered as Stone spent the few hours until dawn staring at the floor in deep thought.

Meanwhile in Anthony’s room…

Anthony was lying on his bed trying to get to sleep, the guards outside had finally quieted down and with his combined exhaustion he was finally starting to drift away. He felt oddly relaxed after that little outburst, he hoped it would last at least a while. Just as he was about to slip into slumbers embrace a single thought crossed his mind.

You think you can stop me from getting you hearth’s warming gifts just by asking nicely? Well then Luna, you’re on...

Somewhere across the castle...

Luna’s room was kept in pitch blackness when she slept, that was the way she liked. Of course, she occasionally enjoyed fiddling with some star magic before she slept, and when she was a filly she fondly recalled the night bright stone her parents gave her when she was ironically scared of the dark. She named the stone Philip, she didn’t know why, it just sounded funny.

Nowadays though, she slept in total darkness. The curtains were framed around the windows in such a way that no sunlight could permeate the edges of them as she slept the days away. It was a rather good solution to suit her nocturnal tendencies. However, there was one downside…

“HAAAAPPPPPPY HEARTH’S WARMING!” Shouted an excited, and very familiar voice as a golden aura surrounded all of the curtains, flinging them open in but an instant. As Luna awoke, she squinted at the bright evening sunlight as it cascaded through her windows, stinging her retina. She let out a loud groan, pulling her covers over her head.

“Come now Luna sister, don’t be like that. It’s time to get up and celebrate!” In another flash of magic the shield that protected the moon mare from the oppressive rays was ripped from her and she was left writhing on the bed as her eyes adjusted.

“Why? Why must you do this to me!?” Luna pleaded in agony. In response, Celestia leaped into the air, and with a single flap of her mighty wings landed heavily atop her sister, knocking the wind out of her.

“Becaauuuuse it’s Hearth’s Warming!” She said, playfully kicking her hooves as Luna struggled to break free from beneath her. Having finally come to her full senses, Luna lit her horn lifting her sister off of her and placing her beside the bed.

“I am as excited as you are sister, but please, PLEASE refrain from waking me in such a manner again.” Luna said seriously, rubbing her eyes.

“Hmph! Well you’re no fun.” Luna removed herself from her bed, walking over to the ponyquin in the corner of the room she began to remove her royal garments from it.

“Lulu, you don’t need those today. The castle is practically empty!” Realizing this, Luna replaced the garments before turning to Celestia.

“I suppose that I’m ready to go when you are then.” Luna said with a smile. Celestia responded by clopping her hooves together happily.

“Wonderful! Well, I’d gotten word that dinner was almost ready, so it should be set up in the private lounge by now. Anything else you need to do?” Luna looked to her bed before lighting her horn, teleporting the two wrapped presents hidden beneath down to the room.

“Nothing else now.” She said before following Celestia who was trotting out the door. Exiting into the familiar decorative hallway that lead to her room, Luna took notice of her two Thestral guards keeping watch as usual, she addressed them.

“Guards!” They both turned and saluted on cue. “Please go find our guest Anthony and tell him to meet us in our private lounge for the evening. Afterwards, you are both dismissed for the night.” Dropping their solute and giving a solid “Yes, princess!” they turned and marched down the hall, heading towards Anthony’s quarters. Looking back to her sister Celestia seemed to be staring off into space.

“Did you forget that we were having Anthony with us tonight sister?” Celestia shifted her gaze to Luna.

“No… Well, he may have slipped my mind for a moment.”

“... Having regrets about your decision?” Luna asked. At her words, Celestia seemed to steel herself, looking at Luna with a firm and hopeful grin.

“Absolutely not! We’ll give him our gifts, we’ll talk and eat and all be closer by the end of the night. It will be lovely!” Luna did her best to keep the frown off of her face. Based on how she’d seen Anthony act last night, it might’ve been a better idea not to invite him, for both of their sakes.

As the Princesses made their way to the room and got set up, Anthony was making his way through the halls with the guide of two helpful thestrals. He was wearing his nicest clothes, and by nicest, they had the least amount of holes in them. It was just a clean pair of jeans and a regular black tee but that was the way he liked it. The only thing he wished he had was a jacket, as the lightest of breezes in the cold hall caused him to shiver. Under his arm he held a rolled piece of parchment, and carried nothing else.

“Right through here, sir.” The guard said, pointing to a rather plain looking door. Shrugging to himself, Anthony thanked the guard before walking up and entering.

As he entered, Anthony’s eyes widened in surprise, the scene before him was completely different from anything else he’d seen in the castle. The very first word that came to his mind was warm.

It was a small cozy living room, heavily decorated with festive items. There was a soft red and orange rug placed in between two comfy looking couches, both of which were by a roaring fireplace. Off to the side there was a table that was absolutely PACKED with food, including various sweets and candies he’d never seen in the castle before. A crystal chandelier hung in the center of the room, which would have seemed rather normal for the castle if there weren’t candy canes attached to it at various points. On the right wall there were two sets of windows peeking into the night outside, the only thing visible through them was the light snowfall that gently battered the glass. Lastly, Anthony finally took notice of the Princesses themselves, sitting on the couches across from one another. Neither were wearing their usual royal garments, Celestia herself had a cute candy cane striped scarf wrapped around her neck and Luna’s hooves were adorned with fuzzy dark purple slippers.

Anthony suddenly felt very awkward. At that moment, he actually considered turning around and heading straight back out, however it wasn’t meant to be.

“Anthony! You’ve finally arrived!” Came the chipper voice of Luna. She stared at him as he continued to shuffle in place and look about the room.

“Errr, hi.” He said meekly, suddenly at a loss for words. Celestia looked over to him, struggling to keep the smile off her face as she watched his reaction.

“Come now Anthony, go grab yourself some food and take a seat with us.” Luna said gesturing towards the table. Looking over his mouth began to water as he suddenly recalled that he hadn't yet eaten today. Walking fast, but not fast enough to lose composure, Anthony made his way to the table and began to stack a number of sweets on one of the provided plates. Finding a jug of milk he poured himself a glass and headed back over to the couches. Celestia and Luna had already gone back to their previous conversation. Putting his plate and glass down Anthony sat on the far side of Luna’s couch, putting good space between them while not trying to seem rude. Celestia looked over at him.

“What’s that Anthony?” She asked, looking at the parchment still in the crook of his arm. Anthony looked down at it before back up to her and responded.

“Oh, these? Just some… papers.” Luna gave Anthony a curious look, but it went entirely unnoticed to the human as he’d already begun scarfing down the contents of his plate. Celestia giggled as she watched.

“Enjoying yourself Anthony?” She asked, Anthony paused to swallow what food was left in his mouth.

“The food, yes.” Celestia smiled, not seeing Luna’s sudden glare towards the human.

You see, being long time political figures, both princesses were well versed in the art of language. And even though Luna had no true verbal indication that there was any animosity behind his response, one could conclude that Anthony could have possibly meant “Enjoying myself? Yes, just the food though.” as opposed if he had said “The food? Yes.” which would have been seeking the clarification that the question was about only the food before saying that yes it was the food that he was currently enjoying. Language is complicated after all, and in her excitement Celestia seemed to have not noticed this, probably for the better.

“So Anthony, how has your day been?” Celestia asked. Anthony stopped to swallow his food again.

“Fine. Slept through most of it anyways.” Celestia blinked owlishly.

“Slept? But it was daytime.” Anthony popped what appeared to be a cherry candy into his mouth before responding.

“Yes, I was up rather late last night so I slept well into the afternoon.”

Why does this red candy taste like grape?

“How late must you have been up to have slept so long?” Realizing that he wouldn’t be able to get another bite in with the oncoming questions Anthony put his plate down.

“Last night? Or morning I suppose. Anyways I went to bed around three.” Leaning back, Anthony crossed one leg over the other, causing both princesses to hold back cringes at the position that would break any normal pony’s legs if attempted. Though Celestia seemed more surprised by Anthony’s sleep tendencies.

“Why would you subject yourself to such reckless sleeping tendencies? I would surely think exhaustion would overtake you and put you back into a normal cycle.”

“I’m not a pony, princess. Nor am I a pony princess.” This prompted a series of giggles from Celestia and a facehoof from Luna. “Anyways, human biology or something. I don’t have to follow a sleep schedule like ponies.”

“Interesting… Anthony, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you tell me in detail about your species. I don’t wish to pry, but if you’d be willing, I’d love to hear about them.”

Huh… Luna thought to herself. Perhaps this night will go just as planned after all.

“Um. Maybe another time.”

Redacted…

Celestia seemed to deflate slightly at his brush off, but she held a brave face to hide her disappointment.

“Luna, you’ve been rather quiet this entire time, is something the matter?” Celestia asked. Luna looked over before shaking her head.

“No, nothing at all. Just a little, lost in thought.” Anthony nodded to her before taking another look around the room.

I feel rather relaxed tonight. Probably because of my outburst last night... I don’t think that I could ever truly forgive you Celestia… But, perhaps a Christmas truce is in order Anthony smiled to himself.

“So, is this room like, specifically for hearth's warming or something? It seems rather cozy.” Finally smiling again, Luna answered.

“Actually yes, besides all the perishables we’ve kept this room set up and cleaned for hearth's warming for a number of years now, however you’re the first guest we’ve had.” Anthony adjusted his position on the couch.

“Heh, lucky me.” Anthony said, grabbing his glass and taking a long swig. Looking at the fireplace he took notice of two floppy little doll looking things in the shape of Celestia and Luna. “Hay, what’re those again?” He asked, pointing to them. Noticing what he was looking at, a large smile suddenly spread across Celestia’s face.

“You should get comfortable.” Luna said, levitating a cup of hot chocolate into her lap.

The time seemed to fly after that as Celestia regaled the entire history of hearth’s warming story to Anthony (most of which he’d already read about) as well as the traditions that came with the celebration. As she wound down from lecture mode, the group transition to casual conversation without the awkwardness and annoyances from before. The three sat telling jokes, laughing, and consuming many calories as the stars came out and the moon rose. Celestia seemed to already be getting tired by the time presents were brought up.

“Presents?” Celestia asked, immediately snapping out of her exhaustion as Luna mentioned the word. Luna lit her horn, pulling out two presents, one white and one blue both with neatly tied red ribbons and handed them out respectively. Anthony took the blue present from her magic grasp reluctantly.

“As cliche as this may sound, you didn’t have to get me anything.” Anthony said placing the box in his lap. Luna scoffed.

“And as cliche as I may sound, too bad!” Anthony smiled.

“Touche.” By this time Celestia had already begun opening her present, putting the ribbon down on the table and opening the lid she pulled out her gift.

“Oh my goodness! They’re just like yours!” Celestia said as she pulled out a set of four fluffy hoof slippers similar to Luna’s, however these ones were a bright pink. Putting them on one by one she let out a hum of satisfaction. “They’re very comfortable I can see why you like yours!” Seeing that Celestia had just about finished with her present Anthony looked down at his own and began pulling at the red ribbon. Lifting the lid and placing it to the side Anthony reached in and pulled out the mysterious object.

“A rock?” Anthony asked curiously. In fact there were four rocks in his box. The edges were smooth as though they were plucked straight from a stream. Their colors were varying grays and browns but each had its bottom smoothed out as though they were intended to be paperweights. The most curious part though, the center had a circle carved on it and much of the upper surface was surrounded in strange runes. Anthony casually rubbed his thumb across the circle at the top of the rock.

“W-woah.” Anthony said in surprise, dropping the stone into his lap as the lines and runes all across the stone began to glow a dull orange. For a second he was tempted to throw the demon rock onto the ground but he suddenly noticed something strange about it. “It’s warm.” Anthony said picking up the rock. It seemed to be radiating it’s own heat by some unknown method.

“It’s a heat stone. They’re generally used further north by ponies to keep rooms heated. It feeds off of ambient magic so unless you wear down the runeing or crack it it will never break.” Holding the rock in his hands he rubbed a finger across the sides. As he did so a number of bars suddenly lit up, and the dull orange turned to a bright red.

“Gah, that’s hot!” Anthony said dropping it to the floor. Luna chuckled to herself.

“Yes, that is the one downside.” Anthony looked at her expectantly.

“How are you supposed to turn it off it the whole rock is hot?”

“You just do it very quickly.” Luna said. Reaching down, Anthony located the set of bars that he accidentally rubbed across to turn up the heat. The warmth radiating off of it was strong, as though it were a small fire set in front of him. Moving quickly, Anthony dove in with his finger, sliding down the line of bars before quickly removing it as to prevent heat transfer. Thankfully, as he did so the bars seemed to turn off, and the red glow returned to a dull orange. Anthony experimentally tapped the rock before picking it up again. Tapping the circle on top the glow that had once encapsulated all the lines and runes faded into nothing and Anthony felt the heat dissipate along with it.

“Huh.” He hummed to himself thoughtfully.

“We had noticed that you had been shivering as of late as you roam the halls. Though most ponies, even in the northern regions, only need one to sufficiently heat a room. I thought that four would be proper due to your lack of a coat and whatnot.” Anthony tapped the stone back to life again, feeling the heat radiate from it’s surface as he held it in his hands. It was rather comforting in a way, almost as if he was holding something alive.

“Thank you Luna, this mean a lot to me.” Anthony said in all sincerity. Luna waved a hoof , acting as though it was no big deal. But on the inside she was jumping in a joy at his appreciation for her gift.

“I suppose it’s my turn now.” Celestia said with a smile, lighting her horn and pulling two packages from behind her own couch. Both of these were bright red with white bows on top, however one was flatter and more rectangular shaped than the other, which seemed to be an ordinary box shape.

Celestia floated the rectangular one over to Anthony. Taking the box in his hands he turned to Luna, who just like her sister, had eagerly dug into her present.

“Sister, this is amazing!” Luna shouted in glee. Anthony’s eyes widened as Luna pulled a FUCKING WARHAMMER, out of her box. A warhammer, that Anthony could tell was far too large for the box to hold in the first place. The thing was huge and ornate, as tall as Luna herself. The face was rounded off and had a bunch of pockmarks and craters all across it mimicking the moon itself. The back of the hammer had a crescent moon and wing coming out of the middle. The top and bottom of the handle had intricate gold and silver leafing with the handle itself being a complex wrapping of synthetic leathers. Lastly the pommel held a strange looking polished rock that glinted against the light from the fireplace.

“See that Luna, it’s the meteorite they found outside of Appleoosa this past year. Luna’s eyes seemed to twinkle as she stared at the warhammer pommel in awe.

“I want to hit something with it!” Luna said, her grin going manic. Anthony scooted away instinctively as Celestia giggled.

“Maybe tomorrow sister, I believe Anthony has his gift to open.” Looking over to Anthony. Anthony looked at her and then back down at his gift before going to work. Removing the ribbon Anthony lifted the top of the box.

Inside, neatly folded, clean and freshly stitched was a jacket. The outside was a classic red plaid while the interior was wooly and looked warm as anything. The front had a series of brass buttons trailing up it. But what caught Anthony by surprise wasn’t the jacket itself, but a certain familiarity, as recollection flashed in his eyes.

No, this has to just be coincidence. There’s absolutely no way she could have known.

“Anthony. Anthony, is something wrong?” Celestia asked, becoming increasingly worried. In one swift movement Anthony picked up the jacket, putting his arms through their respective holes and letting it slide down his arms and over his back. To a pony, being able to dress, even in just a jacket, so quickly was unheard of and the princesses looked on in curious awe at the display.

“It’s great.” Anthony said, doing his best to hide his morose behind a smile. But the tone of his voice revealed the truth to the solar diarch.

“Anthony, I’m sorry! If there’s anything you want changed, or if I offended you in any way I can~” Anthony cut her off with the wave of a hand.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, the fit is perfect and it’s comfortable. I was just reminded of stuff because… I just had a similar coat back home.

Home… The word echoed in Celestia’s head, feeling as though a sudden weight had been placed upon her shoulders. All she wanted was to keep Anthony safe and make him happy. They couldn’t send him home, it was simply impossible even for magic. But hearing him say that, she came to the realization in all likelihood no matter what she did, he may never view Equestia as his home.

His world must be so grand for Equestia to pale in comparison to it. She felt the sudden itch of curiosity digging in the back of her mind. No! When he is ready to tell me about his home, he will… At least if he ever does.

“Well, this has been a very enjoyable night. Anthony, thank you for coming without needing any, further, persuasion. Sister, I think it best you get to bed now lest you sleep past our transit come morn.” Luna stood from the couch picking up her warhammer in her magic.

“Hey there, what do you think you’re doing?” Anthony said. Luna looked towards him.

“Though court may not be in session tonight I still have my duties of the night to attend to.” Anthony scoffed before picking up the the parchment roll.

“Well at least take your gift before you leave.” He said, pulling a roll of parchment out of the first revealing that the one roll was actually two equally sized ones.

“Is your recall so poor that you forgot when I told you that you didn’t need to bring any gifts?”

“No, I remember it distinctly, and do you know what I said to myself right after that.” He paused. “Too bad!” Anthony checked the label he put on the backs of each of the pieces of parchment before tossing the respective one to Luna and reaching out with the other to Celestia who looked at it curiously before picking it up in her magic.

“Anthony if this is some kind of a bad joke…” Luna swung her warhammer lightly in her magic grasp, Anthony did his best to scoot further away from her.

“Jeez, it’s a freaking piece of paper! What could I possibly have done!” Their argument was interrupted by a sudden gasp from Celestia. The parchment open in her magic grasp and her eyes wide in shock and surprise as she stared at it.

What Celestia saw upon that was was like nothing she had ever seen before. It was a piece of artwork, and while Celestia had many pieces or art of herself made by ponies and even citizens of other nations this one was far different. Firstly, it was drawn in pencil, strange, as they were just considered learning tools for children as they wouldn’t stain their coat with ink. Secondly, the picture was made up entirely of dots, thousands of them! All of varying degrees of color to form the image as a whole. The scene held the serene bank of a lake, a few trees dotted the landscape and a few elegant boats trailed across the water. There were dozens of ponies in it, couples were walking under shared sunbrellas, stallions and mares sat and rested in the shade or stood by the water, children played and ran about and there was even a pet or two mixed in. But what drew her attention the most was what lay at the center of the piece. A depiction of her, nothing royal about her, no garments, no dramatic or godly pose. There she was, resting on a blanket, simply enjoying the sunlight and ponies around her while reading. Nopony noticed or bowed down to her, they all just seemed to be going about their business and having a good time. Celestia saw the drawn smile on the face in the image and felt it her own. She could imagine the sunlight on her back and a good book in her grasp, the sound of ponies milling about around her acting normally. The idea seemed glorious, if only it were possible. She felt a tear well up from her eye before trailing down her cheek.

“Anthony…” Celestia said. Anthony stopped struggling and looked over, still pinned to the couch by the warhammer being pressed into his back under Luna’s telekinetic force. “This is beautiful.” Hearing her sister's words Luna removed the warhammer from Anthony and went to grab her own present.

“T-thank you.” Anthony said, slightly out of breath. “It’s actually based on one of the most famous pieces of art ever made. By humans at least.” Celestia looked to Anthony, raising a hoof to her face to wipe away the rogue tear.

“What is it called?” She asked, hope in her eyes.

“A sunday afternoon on La Grande Jette. I made it based on what I could remember, and it would have been a lot better in paint but that would have taken a lot longer as we~umph!” Anthony was interrupted as Celestia suddenly walked over, wrapping the man in a tight embrace. After realizing what was happening Anthony’s mind began to race.

Bad touch! Bad touch! Remember the truce. We’re almost done, just don’t ruin it. The embrace itself wasn’t uncomfortable by any means, but the one behind it was making him far more uncomfortable than he had been any time this night. While Anthony did his best not to struggle or push Celestia away, Luna was busy unrolling her own gift. Finally getting a full view of it, Luna’s mouth dropped.

Each stroke was calculated in depth and hue, hundreds of which formed the image before her. They seemed to flow together like waves in an ocean on the page. In the scene. There appeared to be a small town being ravaged by waves rolling through it attempting to consume it whole. To the left a large black stalactite like spire reached into a beautiful night sky. The sky itself was what really caught Luna’s attention as there were not only beautiful bright stars twinkling within it but a depiction of herself. An ethereal visage of herself that dashed across, stars streaking out from her mane and tail as she ran. A smile on her own face as though her running had made the night itself.

“Luna, your drawing is based on the timeless Vincent Van Gogh’s A Starry Night.” Anthony wiggled so he could stick his head out from behind the white mare still holding him.

“Anthony, it is amazing!” Luna said, walking over to him. “Sister what does yours look like?” Luna asked her solar counterpart. Releasing Anthony, much to his relief, Celestia grabbed her piece and they traded.

“Anthony we never knew you were such a good artist!” Luna said, Anthony grumbled to himself.

I wasn’t, but five months in a room with only pencils and paper will do that to you… Standing up, Anthony brushed off any Alicorn fur that may have ended up on his new jacket. “Well. This has been fun gals but now I think it’s about time to take my leave.” Both mares, who had been engrossed in each other’s gifts now turned towards him.

“But we’ve barely started!” Celestia said. Both Anthony and Luna could see the bags under her eyes.

“Sister, you need to go to sleep. I don’t want a mob at the front gates thinking Nightmare moon is back because you wouldn’t get your fat flank up to raise the sun on time.” Luna said condescendingly. Celestia frowned, seemingly accepting. Anthony clapped his hands together.

“Agreed, I’m a bit tired myself.” Not really though, I’ve just consumed thousands of calories. I could honestly go for a run. Anthony held out his hand to Celestia. The mare looked at it for a moment before raising her hoof up and extending it, allowing Anthony to wrap it in his grasp.

“It’s been a pleasure.” Anthony said as his rough hand lightly constricted around the silken hoof. Celestia felt a light shiver course up her spine as the strange appendage held her. Releasing her, Anthony turned to Luna, holding out the same hand. Luna lifted her hoof, allowing him to wrap his hand around it before pulling forward. Standing up on her hind hooves Luna wrapped the startled human in a tight embrace.

“I never did thank you for your gift Anthony. So thank you.” Luna said as she held him. Anthony, wrapped an arm around her back, giving her an awkward pat.

“Don’t mention it.” He said, after a moment Luna released the man, going back on all fours. Now free of any hindrance, Anthony quickly grabbed the boxes from his gifts, walking to the door. Opening it he turned back one last time, seeing both the sisters had gone about collecting their own gifts.

“See you around…” Anthony said, exiting before giving them a chance to respond. Stepping outside the room Anthony stood there silently for a moment, before letting out a sigh and walking away to go find his room.

The next day…

“So, you’re resigning. Why so suddenly if I might ask?” The captain of the guard, Tempered Steel, sat at his desk, hooves crossed. In front of him stood a soon to be ex-guard Solid Stone, his coat a pure gray and mane and tale of marble white, his eyes gunmetal. He was a rather large stallion, even without his armor. Had you not known his current position one would think he’d spent his life on a rock farm.

“I’ve been thinking recently, and I just don’t believe that guard duty is for me anymore. I think I need to go find where I truly belong.” Solid said stoically. Steel leaned forward with a blank expression.

“Solid, you’ve been with us for eight years now. Far longer than I’ve been in this position and you’ve proven yourself to us physically time and time again. You’re a valuable member of the guard and we may need you one day. I will not stop you should you remain firm in your decision, but I would regret it if I didn’t ask you here and now to reconsider.” Stone stood there for a few long moments, looking at the ground in thought, before shaking his head.

“That’s a shame. Well, your last pay will come to you in the mail, otherwise I’d ask you to turn your armor and spear into the smithy, we like to get them checked and cleaned before giving them out again.” Stone acknowledged him with a few nods. “Lastly, I’d like you to report to the medical wing for a few tests, then you’ll be officially discharged.” Stone looked up, raising an eyebrow.

“Wait, tests? What for?” Steel locked his jaw, shaking his head in a “I wish you hadn't asked that.” fashion.

“Your partner had some concerns that the ape may have done something to you. He reported that after a brief but intense verbal conversation with him you said you were resigning, and would not respond to him for the rest of the night. Because of this, and by his request, we are going to put you under a few tests just to make sure no magic of unknown origin was involved.” Stone looked at him bewildered.

“But, I’ve read all the reports. They all said that he has no magic whatsoever! How could you possibly justify doing this?” Steel sighed to himself.

“Look Stone, we just want to be certain. They’ll only take an hour or two, they’re noninvasive, and you can be on your way home before lunchtime.” Stone was at a sudden loss for words.

“These are required Stone. And believe me, I don’t think that thing has any magic. But if news of this incident got out, I don’t want any panic or doubt sprouting up in my ranks. I hope that you understand.” Stone scoffed.

“And what if I refuse?” Steel shook his head.

“Should you refuse you will be detained and put under temporary quarantine for the duration of the tests, you will also be put under a quick, psychological evaluation. I suggest you simply comply and make this a whole lot easier on all of us Mr. Stone.” Stone stood silently, gauging the captain as best he could.

“Nothing I can say would sway you in this?” Stone asked, the captain shook his head. As Stone stared at the guard he heard a small voice in the back of his head.

“You try and talk to it, and it somehow speaks your language! But it treats you like a parakeet, and when it comes all you can expect is to be poked or prodded or stabbed by it repeatedly.”

I may understand you just a little bit better now… Anthony. Stone grumbled under his breath, stomping a hoof against the ground angrily.

“Fine, I will submit to your tests, and nothing more.” Stone said in a bitter tone.

It’s no wonder he has so much anger in him if this is how he feels all the time...

Author's Note

Hey, did you like that? A late Christmas special chapter that is almost half the length of the story as a whole? No? Well then... You want to read more of my work that doesn't even have to do with MLP while I work on the next chapter? No again? Well... here ya' go.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NoiluN8wkvRi0QjbbINVtRdaoArQq2H6wKcfTQ-dAJU/edit

Peruse at your leisure, feedback is appreciated.

9 - Finding the Path

Night Light was sitting at his desk in the library just as he usually did around this time of day. He’d already finished up his lunch and was back at it, going over the checkout orders, logging the charges and adding to the mailing list of those that were overdue.

It was a peaceful afternoon, the sun had just crested its apex over Canterlot and the only sounds around was the occasional smacking of his stamps on pages and the scritch-a-scratch of his quill on paper. However, his relative silence was soon broken by the light ring of the bell above the entrance door. Night Light paused, placing the stamp upon it’s pad and slipping the quill into it’s well before looking up.

As the tip-taps of hooves came closer, his ear twitched as he noticed a few dissimilarities between it and a standard pony’s hoof falls. Firstly, the gate was larger, which would indicate the oncoming pony was perhaps a large stallion; however, the steps were light and echoed with the sound of metal on stone. It was a very distinct noise that any member of the castle staff could recognize immediately as Princess Celestia came strolling around the corner in all her glory.

Immediately, Night Light sprang up from his seat, bending to the floor for a bow. While this may have been a proper sign of respect to the princess, it became rather awkward when all he ended up doing was bow behind a desk, largely obscuring himself from her vision. Seeing this display, Celestia let out a small chime of laughter.

“You may rise, Mr. Light.” Celestia said calmly. Without a second thought Night Light did so, looking up to the Princess expectantly.

“It’s an honor to have you here your highness. Is there anything that I could help you find today?” The stallion asked respectfully. Celestia smiled and shook her head.

“Actually, I have come down here today to make a different request of you, one that I believe you would be excited to help with.” Night Light gave the Princess a curious look.

“What might this request be, if I may ask?” At his words, the princess lit her horn and in a small flash a large brass key appeared before him.

“As you know, there are a number of vaults within this castle, constructed for the high security storage of various magical objects among other things that could prove dangerous to the general public. Within one of these is a large store of unread books, I recently found that these were placed within the vault by… mistake.” The Princess stopped to clear her throat. “These books have been hidden away since my sister’s fall, for all we know they could contain a wealth of information entirely lost to modern pony society. I personally do not have time to go through all of these texts myself, so I needed a pony that could read through them and report to me on what information they contain. As well, you may publish any information you find that I deem safe for the public and take all credit which is due.” Celestia paused.

“That is, of course, if you’re willing to accept this offer…” The princess looked to Night Light with a knowing smile. The stallion, who was previously dumbfounded, began to nod his head rapidly.

“Of course Princess! I would be more than happy to do this for you… When should I start?” Excitement glistened in the old stallion’s eyes as he imagined the vast possibilities of what could be hidden in those books.

“You may start right now if you so wish. Come, I will direct you to the vault.” Just as the princess spoke her last word she froze in place, her muscles tensing up until she was as stiff as a statue. Seconds passed, Night Light's face quickly adopted a look of worry.

“Princess?” Night asked, tilting his head. Celestia locked eyes with him, slowly leaning her head down to within inches of his own. Night leaned back in his chair slightly. The Princess’s lower jaw suddenly snapped open as though it were on a spring mechanism. Not a moment later, a voice permeated the air from her gullet, loud and broad.

“AH! NIGHT LIGHT, JUST THE PONY I WAS LOOKING FOR!”

“GAH!” The blue stallion shouted bolting up from his chair, adrenaline pumping through his system. His eyes flicked about frantically, locking onto the lone human in the dark as he stood there quietly with a small smile on his face.

“Anthony? Is that you?” Night Light asked blearily. Realizing that he’d dropped his glasses, the blue pony began tapping his hooves around on the desk trying to find them. Anthony bend down, picking them up off the floor.

“Missing these?” Anthony said holding out the pair, thankfully undamaged. Seeing the outline of his familiar spectacles. Night Light picked them up with his magic and gingerly set them back upon his nose, blinking a few times as his eyes readjusted.

“Thank you Anthony.” Night took a moment to adjust his position, sitting up in his chair more properly. “Now, what was all that yelling about, can’t you see I was trying to work?” the pony said, brain apparently still not functioning fully. Anthony raised an eyebrow.

“What’re you talking about, I didn’t yell.” Anthony said, leveling his voice and feigning confusion for the lie.

“Well it certainly sounded like you did!” Night Light huffed. Anthony worked to keep the dupers delight off his face.

“Sorry about that, but what are you even doing here? It’s night.”

“I work here! I thought you’d remember after nearly a year of coming down here!” Night Light said indignantly. Anthony groaned, placing a hand to his forehead.

“Mr. Light, you work the day shift!” Night Light stared at Anthony for a moment before looking out the window, fully comprehending reality upon seeing the darkened Equestrian skies.

“Oh… Right.” He swallowed. “Velvet’s not going to be happy about this.” Turning to the table Night Light quickly began moving around his work space, putting quills into drawers, stacking papers, and cleaning up other odds and ends. Coming upon the book that had been his makeshift pillow for the night, Night Light frowned.

“Oh dear me…” He said upon seeing the large saliva puddle that had seeped into the pages, ruining the ink. “I can fix this.” With a look of concentration, Night lit his horn. His light blue magical aura surrounded the splotched part of the page. Anthony watched as the liquid was slowly drawn from it, forming a small floating glob of stallion saliva that hung in the air. Pulling over a nearby trashcan Night Light quickly disposed of the substance. Looking down at the page of the book that had been cleansed, Anthony noticed that the letters seemed almost good as new, slightly faded and morphed, but altogether an impressive quick fix. Anthony hummed to himself.

“Too engrossed in a book to remember to go home, I presume?” Anthony asked. Night Light slammed the book closed and moved it into one of the drawers with his magic.

“Yes, yes. It’s not that big of a deal, to me at least. Now Velvet, well, let’s just say I’m already preparing myself for a stern talking to in the morning.” He said, slightly distracted as he pulled out a saddle bag and began haphazardly shoving papers into it.

“You’re wife?” Anthony asked, not having heard the name before. Night Light paused in his scrambling.

“Yes. Did I never mention?” The stallion asked, Anthony shook his head. “Oh, then yes, she is indeed my wife.” He went back to filling his bag.

“Any other immediate family members that I should be concerned about?” Anthony asked curiously. Night Light didn’t stop this time as he spoke.

“Besides my wife I also have a wonderful son and daughter. Seriously, have I never once mentioned them to you?” Anthony shook his head again. Night Light frowned, still somewhat in disbelief.

“You’ll have to tell me more about them sometime. But for now might I ask a favor of you before you head out?” This time, Night Light stopped completely, turning to Anthony with a small frown on his face.

“I’m sorry Anthony, but I really must be getting back home. I mean, Velvet’s been there alone all day, and I didn’t even have the right sense to go back on time and~” Anthony motioned for him to stop with a hand.

“Listen, it’s late, I’m sure your wife’s already asleep by now, and this will only take a minute. If I could please have your time, it’s pretty important to me.” Anthony said sincerely. Night light stood there silently before letting out a long sigh.

“Alright, what was it that you needed Anthony?” The stallion asked kindly. Pulling the letter out of his back pocket, Anthony flipped it open.

“I just need some general directions to a certain address. I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere in the lower districts here in Canterlot, but I haven't heard of this street before.” Night Light nodded as Anthony spoke.

“Sounds easy enough. What’s the address?” Anthony looked down and began reading off the page.

“1504 Moonlight Lane.” As the words left his lips, a small flash of recognition sparked in Night Light’s eyes. He frowned.

“I mean no offence Anthony but what would you want to go there for?”

“You know the place?” Anthony asked, genuinely surprised. Night Light shook his head.

“Not of the place, but the street.” Night Light cleared his throat.

Oh god, is it that time again? Anthony thought to himself.

“You see, after the first defeat of Nightmare Moon over a thousand years ago the old castle of the royal pony sisters was left in tatters. Princess Celestia, not wanting to spend the coming years in a place of such tragedy, decided to have the decrepit castle abandoned and went in search of a location for a new one, eventually deciding upon the ground where we stand today.” Night Light paused for a breath. “It was about this time that the Thestrals were forced out of pony society due to the growing distrust among the pony populace, though no historical records show that they had any part in Princess Luna’s uprising. They then went off to found the Lunar Republic deep within the Hollow Shades, named as a sign of remembrance to the pre-Nightmare Moon princess. This sadly lead to even more distrust and anger.”

“Racism…” Anthony drawled, snapping Night Light out of lecture mode.

“What?”

“Nothing, what’s this have to do with Moonlight lane?” Anthony asked, becoming slightly perturbed at the extended history lesson.

“Ah! I was about to get to that. You see, as the place for Canterlot to be constructed was chosen, Princess Celestia had to oversee it. This, as well as dealing with huge political backlash from her sister’s banishment, prevented the princess from being able to devote time to the construction of the surrounding city. Naturally, she handed over the responsibility to the next set of ponies in power, the old noble ponies. Her only request being that they make an area named after her sister’s night. Sadly, most of the nobles held favor for Princess Celestia alone. The project was postponed, and shoved from one area to another until finally they decided where to put it. The name Moonlight lane was slapped on an old, misplanned, dead end road. For the longest time anypony that attempted to live on it was ostracized because of it’s association, leading to anything that had been built on it becoming abandoned soon after. To my knowledge, there’s nothing useful on that street, nopony builds businesses on it because nopony goes there, and nopony lives there because they’d have to spend time and bits tearing down the old one just to build up another.” Upon finishing, Night Light sat there silently for a moment before standing up and starting to rifle through the drawers of his desk. Anthony stood in front of him, mouth slightly agape.

“How in the world, do you know so much about a no-name road that has been abandoned and ignored for hundreds of years!” Night Light pulled a map out of a drawer and set it on the desk in front of him.

“I read a lot.” Night Light said. Anthony felt that those words meant far more than what they seemed on the surface. “Also, it is the only place in Canterlot named after Princess Luna. So, even if it is ignored and abandoned, it still holds some historical significance.” With a few quick flips the map was unfolded and spread neatly across the desk. The thing was brightly and accurately colored and included the castle at the edge of the mountain with the city extending down eastward. Dawn water park was visible, covered in a series of topographic lines that ended at the lake bed itself, lastly he noticed the Canterlot gardens extending from the side of the castle, a place which Anthony had yet to traverse. Within the city, street names and places covered the map, some familiar but most not. Once Night Light was satisfied with his smoothing out the creases he quickly grabbed a dipped quill and began searching for his quarry.

“So here’s the path to the lower districts… and if we just follow this around here, down that road, away from there. Aha! Here it is!” He said spotting the street name near the edge of the city. Studying the map for a moment he put the quill down on the paper, marking a circle around the street name. Immediately after, the quill began to zip across the page, turning down street after street leaving a perfect black path, in seconds the stallion had marked the shortest route all the way across town.

“There we are.” Night Light said, seemingly satisfied with his work. Magicing the map once more, he folded it back into it’s small square shape and slid it across the desk to him. “If that is all, I’ll be heading home then.” Night Light lifted and slid his saddle back onto his back before stopping.

“Wait one moment… Aren’t you not allowed outside the castle Anthony?” Night Light gave the man a condemning stare, one that Anthony shook off with a shrug.

“True. But let’s say that I was going out anyways. No, sense in me getting lost now is there?” Anthony asked knowingly. Night Light bit the inside of his cheek lightly.

“I suppose… But should anypony come around asking, I will tell them that I did not encourage you to do this.” Anthony smiled and nodded.

“As you should. Anyways, thank you for this it means a lot to me right now. But, if for whatever reason someone comes asking you about where I am, could you please not tell them.”

“I’ve already forgotten.”

“Thanks.”

“No seriously, I’m that tired. I’m going home”

“Oh…”

Author's Note

Getting there...

11 - The absurd, the bizarre, and the fantastic!

“EVERYONE ANTHONY’S HERE IT’S TIME TO START THE MEETING!!!”

The mare’s voice echoed throughout the room, drawing the attention of everyone present. Heads and ears turning, pausing their games and chatter in an almost comically immediate fashion. Anthony watched as the rest of the oddities about the room looked between each other and Fizzle, smiles spread across many of their faces.

And then, every light in the room turned off.

…

…

...

“Hay! Ow! Scoot over!”

“Watch your step!”

“Who just pulled my tail?!”

“BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!”

Anthony sat on his chair in silence, now in complete darkness. Listening to the oddities as they cursed and scrambled about. Unsure of what was happening and completely devoid of vision, Anthony let out a long sigh. Had it been another time or place, Anthony may have been freaking out if he’d found himself in such a situation. Stuck in a darkened room with a number of strange and unknown beings about. So today, why wasn’t he? Maybe some sort of switch in his head flicked off when he entered the room, or his mind was overwhelmed and still trying to process everything that had just transpired. Or maybe it was the strange mare, Fizzle. Had her endearing, yet slightly creepy personality sought to calm his troubled and worrisome mind, providing a bit of, as strange as it may sound, humanity to the situation as a whole?

Maybe. But probably it was all of the above, as at the moment Anthony felt like the definition of scatterbrained.

There’s only one thing can be done in times like these… Anthony thought to himself. Reaching out in the darkness, he deftly snagged the bottle of liquor from it’s resting place on the bar and took a big swig, savouring the flavour as much as he could.

It doesn’t matter who it is or how hard their life has been, there’s a point in everyone’s lives where they become so completely overwhelmed with a situation that they just give up trying to control it. A point when a person decides to sit back and enjoy the show because it’s the only way that they won’t fry their brain trying to understand what the hell is going on around them. For ordinary people, this may come about during chaos at the workplace, or perhaps more darkly when your car’s about to crash and you know there’s no longer anything you can do about it. For Anthony however, this sweet release came right about now, trapped in a room, in the dark, surrounded by a bunch of beings whose agendas he couldn’t begin to discern. After all, what’s the point of caring, if caring can no longer protect you.

The shouts of everyone around the room slowly began to quiet down, and before Anthony could even begin to wonder what was about to happen, the lights flicked back on, forcing him have to blink spots out of his eyes.

“Ah! God, ya’ piece of…” Anthony cursed to himself, shifting his feet he noticed that somehow they were able to touch the floor now. But that couldn’t be right, he was sitting in a tall bar stool after all. Anthony looked around.

No longer was Anthony sitting at the bar he was oh so familiar with, but instead he appeared to be in a much smaller room. The walls were made of cinder blocks painted white, he noticed an old looking window with paint chipping off the frame to his right , and a thick wooden door across the room, the area reminded him of a classroom in an inner city school. But what was far more startling than this sudden change was what, or more specifically “who”, was in the room with him. Sitting around him in cheap plastic chairs were the oddest bunch of creatures that Anthony had ever laid eyes on, as he scanned over the new beings before him he immediately recognised a few familiar faces, like that of Fizzle, who happened to be directly across from him, and the strange goo mare who was just to his right. Before Anthony could fully take in the details of the other creatures around him, Fizzle spoke up.

“Hello everyone!” Fizzle greeted the circle happily, giving pause as many of the oddities returned friendly hello’s and hi’s. “Firstly, I’d like to welcome all you back to another of our, little, meetings.” She paused between each word, accentuating them. “Now, as you all know, we have a new guest with us today!” A number of the oddities turned and waved to him. Anthony gave a half-hearted smile and shook his hand slightly in a way that some might mistake as a wave. “I hope that you all work to make him feel comfortable and welcome tonight. I certainly will!” Fizzle threw Anthony another wink, Anthony sank into his chair, keeping a flat look on his face.

“Now, time to get down to business. Everyone here accept maybe Nelson should know the drill by now! So, as a quick refresher here’s how we start out.” Fizzle adjusted her position in her seat, pointing a hoof at the goo mare to Anthony’s right. “Newbies always go last, and so today we’re gonna go counterclockwise around the circle. Everyone say your name, what you are, and how it affects you. And Anthony, when it comes to your turn you will do the same.”

Hey, she can pronounce my name?

“READYSETGO!” Fizzle shouted excitedly, signaling the goo mare with a hoof. The green mare jumped slightly in response, causing a small splash of green goop to shoot out from her already completely goop soaked chair.

“Oh okay…” The mare said, having calmed down. She took a few deep breaths, placing her hoof against her chest the appendage seemed to sink in about half an inch, melding with the goop across her body. After another moment of collecting herself she spoke up. “Hello… My name is… Sweet.” The mare spoke slowly and methodically, leaving large gaps between every few words. Her voice was light, and the way she dragged out her words gave the mare a sort of calming aura. “And I’m a goo pony…” The mare finished, Anthony tilted his head slightly.

Sweet is her name? Just Sweet? Anthony’s mind suddenly clicked from neutral into overdrive, thoughts churning out theories. Most ponies have some form of surname from what I’ve seen. Is this possibly an indication of some sort of rocky family history or~ Anthony was jolted from his thoughts as the whole room chimed in chorus.

“HI SWEET!”

“Oh… uh, hi, again.” The mare said awkwardly. Reaching up Sweet rubbed a hoof through her mane, the action smoothing out an almost unnoticeable lump in it’s surface. “And uh, well, I” Her emerald eyes flicked to Anthony’s for a fraction of a second. “I’ve been a goo pony my whole life… It makes a lot of things really hard. Everywhere I go, I just make a huge mess.” Sweet lifted her Hoof out of her green boot, showing how the goop still dripped from her hoof even without her having to touch anything. “It has made it impossible to find a job. No matter where I went, no one wants a pony who can’t do anything without getting it soaked in… this.” Sweet gestured to herself, looking down at the ground sadly. “And since my parents both left after their families started fighting, I was thrown around between foster cares until I was finally old enough for them to dump me.” Sweet’s breathing was slightly heavy, As though she was struggling to keep from crying, or maybe she was crying? It was impossible to tell.

“So, I had no money, no job. I’d almost completely given up on, everything.” She looked across the room towards Fizzle and smiled. “But then Fizzle found me. She helped me realize that I was useful, and I did have value. Together we discovered that my goop” She taped herself on the chest. “Has properties similar to Aloe vera. Not only does it soothe burns but it also is good on cuts and prevents infection.”

Damn. Anthony thought. If that didn’t impede on her daily life so much that could almost be considered a superpower.

“So, nowadays I actually sell my goop for a living. And yes, I do tell ponies where it comes from. In the early days I was very surprised by how few actually cared that it essentially came from my skin. But I guess if it works, it works. Otherwise I live with Fizzle so I try to help her around her shop as best I can... I think that’s about it, um… any questions?” Sweet looked over towards Anthony. Gazing about he noticed that nobody else appeared to be speaking up, he’d guessed that they’d already all heard this story before. Thinking quickly Anthony spoke.

“One question.” Sweet nodded. “You mentioned that you were born a goo pony, correct?” she nodded once more. “How?” Sweet tilted her head in an adorably confused manner. Fizzle spoke up from across the room.

“I think he’s wondering why you were born a goo pony and not a regular pony!” Fizzle spoke slightly too loudly. Sweet made an ‘oh’ shape with her mouth reminding Anthony of a gummy bear.

“My father was a jam pony and my mother was a jelly pony.” Sweet said matter of factly, as though that explanation somehow made sense. “It’s also the reason why I was never given a last name. My father wanted me to be named Sweet Jam and my mother Sweet Jelly. Their arguments over that among other things lead to the families falling apart.” Sweet looked back at Anthony. “Does that answer your question?” She asked.

No it doesn’t

“Yeah.” Anthony said nodding. After a moment of silence Fizzle clopped her hooves together, creating a rather harmonic ring as the two glass hocks met. “Nelson, are you ready?” Anthony’s gaze shifted down to the next chair. Sitting in it was a mustard yellow unicorn stallion, his blonde mane cut to the somewhat default look that a lot of stallions seemed to have. His cutie mark appeared to be a large but simple looking hammer, mid swing. He seemed to have an average stature for a pony, much slimmer than the bulky members of the guard at the castle, and not fat like some of the nobles were. Lastly was his eyes, Nelson’s were a quite striking gunmetal grey. As Anthony studied the stallion, he couldn’t pinpoint what was so odd about him, the colt actually seemed completely normal, besides the strangely human name maybe.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Nelson said, shifting his wings into a more comfortable position on his back.

Oh…

“Hi my name is Nelson, Nelson Steel.”

“HI NELSON.” Everyone said in unison, including Anthony this time.

“So, at first glance you might think that I’m an alicorn, but that would be wrong... There isn’t actually a proper name or title for ponies like me, but still, a more accurate term would be a pegacorn.” Anthony suddenly recalled calling Luna a pegacorn on multiple occasions, enjoying seeing her get bent about it. All the while having no idea that it had a proper use, well, unofficially a proper use.

“While alicorns are ponies who embody the powers of all three of the pony races, pegacorns embody two, or, half of two. Basically I can’t do much more than glide with my wings and use basic spells with my horn, it’s weird like that. Also, I’m probably the only pegacorn currently alive in Equestria, just because of how they, or, we are conceived.” Nelson seemed rather well prepared for this the flow of his speech was smooth, contrary to Sweet’s many pauses, and whenever his words threatened to tumble over each other he’d smooth it out with a nice transition. As he spoke his eyes would slowly roam around the room occasionally locking onto Anthony who continued to listen aptly.

“Pegacorns can only be born from a purebred pegasus and a purebred unicorn. Which is very unlikely to happen nowadays, and will probably be impossible in the future because of ponies becoming more accepting of certain things. So for all I know I could be the last ever, which would actually be kind of cool...” Nelson tried to hold a smile, but the twinges at the edges of his mouth quickly dropped as though someone had cut the strings that were holding them up. He continued.

“I was lucky enough to have my parents with me as I grew up. But, as it usually is with these sorts of situations, the rest of both of their families had cut ties with my mom and dad. They were all a little too, traditional.” He said the word with a hint of spite.

“Being what I am was never too hard throughout life. Schooling was difficult because any classes that involved either magic or flying I would fail, and I didn’t really make any friends because you know, different.” He said, using his hooves to mark air quotes.

“But it really became a lot more troublesome when I grew up. Made it hard to get a job because I wasn’t particularly proficient with either of these.” He gestured to his horns and wings. “And I had to start wearing a hoodie around after an incident where a guard accused me of impersonating royalty. He, uh, insisted that my wings were fake, dislocated one trying to pull them off…” A number of the winged folk around the room couldn’t help but grimace at the thought. “Nowadays my parents are retired and I turned the old shop they had in Manehattan into a small smithy. It actually works out rather well, being able to stoak coals and wield a hammer at the same time opens up a lot of possibilities.” Nelson’s personality seemed a tad subdued, and Anthony couldn’t help but wonder if it was just from recalling past memories or if this simply what he was like normally. Either way Nelson seemed pretty chill compared to most ponies he’d met before, maybe they’d get to know eachother better soon.

“Any questions?” Nelson asked, his eyes flicked to Anthony. Anthony simply shook his head slowly. “Star?” Nelson asked quietly, turning to the mare to his right.

Looking to the next chair Anthony could actually recognise the type being he spotted there, or at least, he thought he did. A crystalline coated mare, her mane was a sparkling pure white combed neatly to the right in a bobbed hairstyle. Her eyes were even more striking than the gunmetal of Nelson’s, as they sparkled like shimmering blue diamonds under the dim lights of the room. And yet somehow, even MORE striking than that was the mare’s coat, as even the tiniest ray of light danced across her body, creating a myriad of shimmering, clear, reflections. As Anthony staired, the mare smiled at him sweetly, cutting a few years off his life due to the sheer adorableness that she radiated.

“Hello everyone. My name is Twinkle Star…”

“HI TWINKLE!”

“and I am a diamond pony.” Anthony froze, holding back a cacophony of bad jokes and references to a certain video game in his mind.

“Like most everyone here, I was born the way I am today. However, there is no inherent reason that I was born this way, unlike Nelson and Sweet. I was just… pure chance.” Every small movement the mare made cause ripples of light to flow across her coat in a mesmerising way. Oddly enough, the little sparkles that came off of her reminded Anthony of Luna’s mane for whatever reason. “I lived a long time ago, before King Sombra came to power in the Crystal Empire. Originally, I was born to one of the few noble families of the Empire. Nopony had ever even heard of a diamond pony before, so naturally, my parents quickly hailed my birth as… a sign of providence.” Twinkle’s voice was soft, but highly refined, her words tending towards a more political vocabulary, but a shy timidness shuttered beneath the surface. “I was called the Jewel of the Crystal Empire, second only to the crystal heart itself. My childhood was deprived from me, my teachings all done in private, my movements, and growth, monitored constantly.”

“I can not think of a pony who spoke to me in my early life who did not attempt to manipulate me in some manner. There were attempts at bribery, blackmail, and far too many who asked for my hoof at a far too young age.” The mare’s face turned to a disgusted frown. “If I have my parents to thank for one thing it’s that they didn’t decide to ship me that early.”

“But in every other regard, I was just a little toy doll to my parents and family. Used constantly to push their own agendas. In looking back on it, Sombra’s rise to power may have been good in a way, if only just to me.”

“When Sombra rose the noble families were the first to fall.” Twinkle shuddered, her diamond blue eyes glazed over, a smokey grey tint covering them. “I’ve been told that, when I was found. I was taken as a personal servant to the Dark King himself. I simply thank whatever gods that may be that I have no recollection of those days.” The grey slowly dissipated from her eyes, Twinkle shook her head as though trying to clear it of the haze.

“When the dark king finally fell and the heart was returned. I realized that the Empire had nothing left to offer me. I did not wish to stay and wait for either noble families to come into power once more, or for others that would seek to manipulate or… use me, to come out of the woodwork. I took the first train out, ending up here in Canterlot. Since then I’ve been spending my days refining my craft as a jewelry maker. It isn’t a glamorous life, but it’s far better than what I once had.” The mare finished, a deep expression of reflection on her face. Anthony looked to the mare’s side, failing to spot any sort of cutie mark. Strange.

“MY TURN NOW!” Fizzle shouted in glee. Clopping her hooves together excitedly. “Hiiii~ I’m Fizzzzle POP!” Anthony couldn’t actually tell if the POP was part of the mare’s name or not because of the fact that it sounded less like a word and more like the actual sound of a soda being opened.

“HI FIZZLE!”

“And I am, the one, the only, soda pony to have EVER graced the lands of Equestria!” The strange amalgamate creature to the left of Fizzle snapped it’s paw. As he did, the sound of uproarious cheers filled the room, Fizzle gave a few bows while remaining seated. “Oh why thank you! Thank you!” She said as the cheers died down. “Anyways, a bit about myself. Unlike most living creatures to date, I personally was not born, or conceived in a natural way like so many others. Nay! I was the product of an experiment! An experiment done by none other than the late great scientist and soda lover Dr. POP! My father.”

“You see my father had a dream. To not only create the greatest soda of all time, but to do that soda the justice it deserves by bringing it life! And so, when my father’s project was finally complete, my glass skin and cold, bubbly, delicious insides were imbued with the magic of LIFE! I rooose from the table that dear father had built me on, like frankenpony’s monster! My father screamed!” Fizzle put her hooves up in mock terror, covering her face. “And then he ran over and hugged me because I was the most adorable filly ever!” Fizzle pulled a picture out of her mane, showing it to the group. In the picture, a brown coated scientist in a lab coat with wild grey hair and a goatee held a small, glass, maroon maned filly tightly in his hooves. Smiles of pure joy across both their faces as they embraced.

“Although I was not his own by flesh and soda blood, my father raised me with more love and care then I ever deserved.” Fizzle’s head tilted down. Her clear glass ears folded back against her head. “However, as it usually is with such great things, it wasn’t meant to last. When I had just barely come of age my father died, in a tragic soda making accident...” A single tear of what Anthony could only guess was condensation dripped from her eye. “After that I had nothing, nobody to support me, or care for me. But I did know one thing, and that was that I must continue my father’s work! Bringing joy in the form of sugary drinks where they are needed most! I then traveled across Equestria, looking for the perfect place to set up shop, a place where my expertise could go their furthest. During my journey I quickly realized that I was not the only eunique being throughout the land, and that there were others in far worse situations than I was. Finally I came across Canterlot, a city so stuffy and uppity that I knew that the foals of the city needed something to smile about! My store quickly gained popularity among the young colts and fillies of the city, and it was about then when I met Sweet, and I decided that something needed to be done about all the different beings around Equestria that had been shunned simply because of what they were! So with some extra bits I had saved I bought this house and… yeah, here we are!” Fizzle finished abruptly. Anthony stared at Fizzle, a dumbstruck look on his face. “Questions, concerns, comments?” She asked sultrily, waggling her eyebrows at the man.

My god, she’s worse than Nightingale… Anthony thought to himself. “...No..?” He responded cautiously. Fizzle simply shrugged her shoulders, signaling the next oddity down the line with a hoof. This one happened to be the amalgamate creature he spotted earlier.

“Ooh goodie! It’s MYheee turn!” He said in a sing song voice. “G-r-r-r-reetings one and all, it is I, Discord!” Discord hopped up on top of his chair, his head almost touching the ceiling due to his impressive height, and gave a deep bow. The sound of trumpets came out of nowhere, and flower petals rained around him, there was the distant sound of a gigantic crowd cheering, then as quickly as it started, it stopped.

I’ve heard that name before…

“HI DISCORD!” The Oddities, and Anthony said.

“Yes quite.” Discord said, sitting back down, the flower petals vanishing from the floor around him in a series of pops and sparks. “Once more, I am Discord, lord of chaos and disharmony.” He cracked a wicked looking smile, yellow eyes gleaming. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Anthony.” Discord said, reaching out with his pawed hand, however instead of reaching out a normal distance it should have, the hand shot off his arm like a rocket, careening through the air towards Anthony. Just before it was about to impact him, the sound of screeching tires resounded from the paw as it abruptly stopped, open palmed, floating in the air by an unknown force. Staring at the paw for but a second longer, Anthony reached out his hand, grasping the floating appendage and giving it a firm shake. The golden fur of the paw was rather soft, and the pads of it were rough, similar to that of a dog’s. Not only did the dislodged paw feel real, but it also felt that there was real weight behind it as he shook it. Every single thing that this creature did sent Anthony’s thought’s further and further into the “If you try to question it your head will implode” zone. As they finished shaking and Anthony let go, the paw gave a final thumbs up before exploding like a firecracker, causing the man to jump. Discord let out a hearty laugh, pulling the fur of his arm similarly to the way a man would pull up his sleeve. A brand new paw popped out right where the previous had disappeared from.

“Um…” Anthony muttered catching the Draconequus’s attention. “Are you that same Discord as the one from the… history books?” He asked. Discord’s omnipresent smile broadened.

“Why! You already know who I AM! It seems I must be popular these days.” With a snap of his claw a trophy oddly resembling an oscar appeared in his arms. The only difference being the little statuette was one of himself. “Never mind that.” He said to himself, poofing away the award. “I suppose you’re wondering why I, one of the few immortal beings of this world and two time conqueror of Equestria, is here today!” Anthony sat in silence keeping his lips flat. “Well it’s quite simple thank you for asking! You see, for millenia I have thrived on spreading my delicious chaos throughout many different worlds. Of course when I first stumbled across this world it was, oh how shall I say this, DESTINY that we met.” Anthony perked up at this.

“You travel dimensions?” He asked, staring at the draconequus intently. Discord shook his head.

“Yes, I USED to travel dimension. And before you ask, not even I cannot help you. Chaos is chaos but reality’s rules are the few that even I must abide by.” The other members around the room looked to each other, confused. Anthony let out a sigh, resting his chin on his hand. “Back to the story! It felt as though it were the hand of destiny that I happened across Equestria. A land where ponies believed that they could control the aspects of nature itself! I thought I might try to just muck it up a bit and see how they fared.” His smile faded slightly. “What I failed to anticipate was that a power nearly as great as myself resided here. And then...” Discord stood, holding one arm high in the air and placing the other against his chest. He opened his mouth wide as thought to let out a great guffaw. But then suddenly, the color seemed to drain from his skin, the flesh turning rigid until his whole body was frozen in stone. After a second, Discord’s stony eyes blinked once, then twice. He relaxed his body, his limbs making grinding noises as the stone rubbed together. “It seemed as though a being of even greater power than I had left a few trinkets on this planet, or perhaps something more...” Discord pulled out a paint bucket from behind his back, swiftly raising it above his head and dumping out the contents. A rainbow-like spash of paint covered him thoroughly, absorbing into his skin until his color was back to normal. “After that I sat as that statute for a thousand years, biding my time, came back again taking over Equestia for a second time.” He droned on nonchalantly “Then I was turned to stone a second time, released a second time, and then well, I decided to stop for a bit.” He finished, sitting down and crossing his arms. Fizzle spoke up.

“You were reformed?” She asked knowingly with a smile. Discord scoffed.

“I was not reformed. I decided, after careful consideration, that this was not the appropriate time in this planet’s history for actions by one such as myself. As well, I wished to attempt to rekindle some semblance of a social life.” Discord huffed. “SO, when I’d received the invitation to join such a strange and intriguing group I absolutely HAD to join.” Discord clapped his paw and claw together happily. “Now, for the sake of time I suppose that’s all you need to know about me for the moment. Any questions?” Anthony sat in silence for a few moments before lazily pointing a finger at Discord.

“You, are Discord… A being who travels throughout dimensions, bringing chaos to all the places he visits. One day you happened across Equestia, didn’t like how they controlled everything and tried to fix it in your own way. Then you realized they have more power than you and decided to settle down rather that moving on as you had before. Does that about sum it up?” Anthony asked. His right eye drooping tiredly.

“That sounds about right, yes.” Discord said with a smile.

Makes about as much sense as everything else… Anthony thought to himself. Once more he looked to see who was next down the line. It seems that they were almost all the way back around now. In the next two chairs Anthony noticed what appeared to be a pony and a griffon sitting next to each other, however on closer examination he could see that the griffon’s back half was a pony’s rather than a lion’s. And as if by some strange twist of fate, the back half of the pony was a lion. The first had dark brown feathers that trailed down from his eagle shaped head, coating his body all the way to his midsection where it petered out in a half teardrop shape that divided his top from his bottom half. His wings rested, folded neatly on his back, the slightly lighter colored feathers accentuated with white tips. Lastly, his lower half was an almost sandy brown with a thick dark brown tail, and his cutie mark appeared to be a simple looking bow and arrow. The other, the lion-pony or lion-unicorn as it were, had an upper half the color of which almost identically matched the rear half of the eagle-pony, his mane also matched the other’s tail. On his midsection, the division between his halfs was slightly more stark with the line being straight rather than the more elegant curve of the other. His rear consisted of lion’s legs, coated in golden fur. The legs were more bulky and muscular than that of the average ponies, lending more to the fact that these two halfs didn’t belong together in the first place. The eagle-pony adjusted his posture, preparing to speak.

“Hello everyone, I’m Fletch and I’m a hippogriff.” His voice was deep and he spoke slowly, the words almost lazily rolling off his tongue. The lion-pony sitting next to him raised a hoof and waved to the group happily.

“Hi! I’m Nock, and I’m a hippogriff!” He sounded excited, despite the fact that he wasn’t a hippogriff, which Anthony recognised immediately.

“We’re the hippogriff brothers…” Fletch said unenthusiastically.

“HI FLETCH AND NOCK!”

“Do I get to tell it this time?” Nock asked hopefully, looking to his brother.

“No, it’s was your turn last time, for Nelson.” Fletch said. Nock stared off into space, trying to remember whether or not he had actually told it last time. Fletch stared at his brother for a few seconds before sighing quietly, shaking his head. “My brother and I are hippogriffs... Can you take a wild guess as to how that happens? That’s right! It happens when a pony and a griffon decide to ‘get it on’.”

The sarcasm is strong in this one. Anthony thought to himself.

“Suffice it to say this sort of thing only happens on the most raucous of nights when enough substances are consumed to erase the word regret from the dictionary.” Nock finally seemed to have finished staring off into space and was now listening to his brother speak. “This is exactly what lead to our conception. Dear old mother went out and partied a little too hard with her friends and ended up with some griffon who bailed the morning after. This wouldn’t have been a huge problem for us IF she had accepted responsibility for her actions, but dear old mother was married. And of course a pony couldn’t have a child with a griffon because dear old mother didn’t want to believe that. So, months pass and our not-so-father is lead to believe that the children are his own. Meanwhile dear old mother is so far down denial stream that she’s convinced herself that we’re our not-so-father’s foals.”

“Then one day the miracle of life happens, and not-so-father has a front row seat to his not-so-children’s birth… Mother naturally freaks out, father is furious, next thing we know Nock and I have a first class ticket to orphanage central.”

“Orphanage wouldn’t have been so bad if we were ponies, but my brother and I are omnivores. The lack of proper nutrition always left us as the runts of the group, constantly getting picked on and pushed around by other ponies… Finally, when Nock and I turned 13 we made a plan, we decided we were going to run away and live in the White Tail woods. We did our research, how to forage, build shelter, you know the works. And believe it or not but after we made our daring escape and left the city we ended up living what we thought were perfect lives.”

“But after some time we realized there were certain necessities that we couldn’t fulfill on our own, like medicine. We came up with a plan to start making bits by selling portions of what we’d hunted to griffon ambassadors in Canterlot. As it turns out, Equestria doesn’t even import meats for them in the first place, so we ended up becoming the sole provider of meats to any griffon in Canterlot. That’s where we are today.” Anthony could feel his stomach constricting itself, his mouth salivating at the idea of fresh meat.

“Y-you guys sell meat?” Anthony said, excitement causing him to stutter. Fletch sighed again.

“If you’re worried about the fact that we eat mea~”

“HOW MUCH DO YOU CHARGE?!” Anthony practically shouted, leaning forward to the point of almost falling out of his chair. The pair of hippogriffs sat back startled.

“You’re a carnivore?” Nock asked, excitement in his own voice. Anthony gave a quick flash of his teeth, touching his tongue to a k nine.

“Omnivore, actually.” Both brothers looked at each other, Fletch with an expression of surprise and Nock one of elation. They both turned back to Anthony.

“Sorry about our reaction. It’s just that, omnivores like ourselves are virtually nonexistent on Equus. Besides bears and certain birds like crows there aren’t any others who hold such varied diets.” Fletch said. Even though Anthony didn’t want to want to seem rude, he couldn’t care less about what they were talking about right now. His mind solely on the idea of getting some proper nutrition into his system.

“Yes, well, I’m not exactly from around here. But I can tell you that I’ve been here for a year and not gotten a single bit of meat. Do you, have, any?” Anthony was using all his willpower to hold himself back from groveling to these two hippogriffs for some meat. Fletch looked to Nock.

“Nock! Do you have the emergency meat!?” Fletch said with urgency. Nock’s expression fell.

“But that was supposed to be ours!” Nock said in a whiny voice. Fletch furrowed his brow.

“This is the exact kind of situation that we made the emergency meat for in the first place! Now go get it.” Without a seconds hesitation Nock nodded and stood up, bounding across the room very similarly to the way a lion would. As he approached the door Nock lit his horn, throwing it open before leaping out into lands unknown. Fletch turned back to Anthony. “He’ll be back in a minute…” Anthony nodded. Turning his gaze back around the group, Anthony looked over the oddities surrounding him. None of them seemed to be the least bit put off by all the meat talk, except for maybe Nelson, who seemed to be intently focused on his hooves. Fizzle was looking at Fletch with a sour expression, whether it had to do with finding out that Anthony was omnivorous or just about all the attention the brothers were getting from the human was anyone’s guess.

“So Fletch,” Anthony asked. Fletch’s gaze shifted to the man. “You’re a hippogriff…” Fletch nodded slowly, not knowing where he was going with this. “And hippogriffs are half eagle, half pony, correct?” Fletch had just started nodding again when suddenly his eyes bulged. He turned on Anthony, eyes suddenly filled with fear.

“Don’t tell Nock!” Fletch said, holding his clawed arms out defensively. Anthony raised an eyebrow, prompting the hippogriff to explain. “It’s just that, Nock really likes to be identified as a hippogriff. It’s something that he’s really proud of. And it’s also the thing that really held us together throughout the years. You know? We were always ‘the hippogriff brothers!’ surviving the wilds, getting through life day by day. It’s something that I don’t want taken away from him…” Fletch turned his gaze to the ground.

“I understand.” Anthony said, deciding to change subjects. “... So uh, you keep an emergency meat stash?” He asked. Fletch shifted in his seat.

“Yeah, it’s really just a set of samples for if we happen across a griffon. But in total it’s a small meals worth, it’s all the dried and preserved stuff though.” Anthony laughed.

“At this point, it’s been so long I’d go for something raw if it were the only option.” Out of the corner of his eye, Anthony noticed Nelson was turning a tad green. “Oh. Sorry Nelson…” He said regretfully. Nelson shook his head, keeping a brave face.

“No, i-it’s *hic* fine, it’s all part of the process…” He said, more to himself than Anthony. Suddenly, the strange mix of hoof-falls and paws sounded as Nock suddenly bounded back into the room, a paper bag held in his jaws as he used his magic to slam the door shut behind him. Trotting over to Anthony, Nock presented the bag to the man who took it with a simple thank you. Glancing over at Nelson, who still seemed to be working to keep his lunch down, Anthony decided that now might not be the best time to eat and placed the bag under his chair.

“Sooo… Is it my turn now?” Anthony asked. Fizzle bobbed her head up and down.

“YEP! Just start with your name!” Anthony lifted his arm, scratching behind his head nervously.

“Hi, I’m Anthony Nones. I’m a human.”

“HI ANt!h~G@r*)Ud NONES” The groups said, nearly everyone butchering his first name.

“On second thought, just call me Tony…”

“HI TONY!” They all said perfectly. Anthony nodded to himself satisfied.

“So yeah, I’ma human. And I come from Earth, the planet Earth, which is where all the other humans I know about are from, and uh...” You’re losing your cool Anthony, get to the point already! “I was born to a rather normal family back home. I had an older brother and a younger sister, and a mom and dad who loved us. Anyways, about a year ago I was lying in bed after a normal day of school, ready to go to sleep. Then the next thing I knew I was getting sucked into the bed, a portal had suddenly appeared under me and I was getting pulled through it. I must’ve hit my head or something after I finally got yanked through because it knocked me out.”

“Next thing I knew, I woke up naked in a cold metal cage in some basement. Every now and again this purple pony in a lab coat would come down and forcibly take a sample from me, or bring some food that I usually couldn’t digest. I tried to talk to her, but the first time she thought that I was just trying to trick her in order to get out of the cage. She wouldn’t respond to me at all after that. I personally don’t think saying ‘hey, can you please let me out of this fucking cage’ is in any way trickery, but eh’ you can’t argue with people who are mental. Over the next two weeks, I was unable to freely move or do much of anything really, and for the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to be truly starving to death because the stupid pric~incess didn’t pay attention to what I did and didn’t eat, she also didn’t pay attention when I told her ‘hey I can't eat that’! Sometimes she put me under anesthesia, or whatever the magic equivalent of that is, in order to do tests on me. I have absolutely no idea what she did to me when I was unconscious and I’m not sure if I want to.”

“As time went on I noticed that she was becoming increasingly nervous. One day she handed me a sheet of paper with some math problems on it and a quill. I wrote the words ‘FUCK YOU’ on the back of it and handed it back to her, which seemed to only increase her anxiety. The next day, she actually LET ME OUT of the cage! It was a miracle! It only took her two weeks to realize that I was a conscious, feeling BEING! And get this, she apologized and wanted to go on pretending like nothing had happened and that we were the best of friends! She even brought her own little gang of groupies thinking that I’d just go with it and be all buddy-buddy with them. So naturally, being the feeling, caring creature that I am, I found the biggest book I could and bashed her over the head with it.” Discord could barely contain his laughter, and a snort was heard across the room as he desperately tried to hold it in. Anthony continued unfazed.

“I think it was that point she decided that she couldn’t handle me any more. But she couldn’t just throw me back in the cage because she already showed me to her friends. So next thing I knew I was on a train to Canterlot, about to meet princess Mcfloatyhair herself. I think Twilight had this whole plan of how to smooth things over with Celestia, but when we got there I just went on this huge angry rant. I insulted her, I insulted Twilight, I think I insulted all of ponykind at one point. I also told her about everything Twilight did to me. Once I finished, well, I didn’t know what was going to happen at the time, but I definitely didn’t expect to be locked up in the castle… forever. At the time she said something about my personal safety and whatnot, but it’s probably more along the lines of ‘state security’ and ‘global political backlash’, whatever those things mean. But it’s not like ponies don’t know I exist or anything, they throw rocks at me sometimes! That only started after I insulted their species and their god princess though, I know correlation doesn’t equal causation but there might be something to this.” Anthony tapped his chin.

“What else, what else. Oh yeah! I think Celestia just completely let Twilight off the hook. Because even during my first night in the castle, only hours after we’d had that confrontation, the lights in the crystal castle down in ponyville were on. I know I can’t be certain just based on that but… I’m pretty sure.” Anthony took a deep breath, letting it out in an exaggerated sigh. “I think that’s about it.” He finished. Looking to the oddities Anthony was met with a series of astonished expressions.

“Princess Twilight locked you in a cage?” Fizzle asked in utter disbelief.

“You had rocks thrown at you?” Nelson asked quietly.

“YOU’RE AN ALIEN?!” Nock shouted excitedly. Fletch leaned over and spoke to his brother.

“You know, Discord’s technically an alien to.” Nock rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but that’s old news.” He said dismissively.

“Yes, yes, technically yes.” Anthony answered the questions. “Ponies don’t really throw rocks at me anymore. They stopped after they realized that I throw them back harder.”

12 - Life is like a warm bath...

Everyone sat in silence for a moment after Anthony’s last comment. It was the sort of awkward pause that you rarely see outside of a sex-ed class. The human looked over the faces present, attempting to gauge the tension of the room. Thinking carefully, he decided to speak up.

“Look… I may be trying to sound” Anthony ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of the word. “Candid, about all of this. But I won’t deny that the last year has been difficult, primarily for the reasons I spoke of. And I guess, taking a step back and looking at how ridiculous it all is has helped me keep what’s important in mind… which is hard, when everything you thought was important in life suddenly disappears.” Anthony finished, eyes downcast. He sat in silence for a few moments before a voice from his left spoke up.

“I get that... “ Fletch said. “Quite frankly, all of our situations, or what brought us to them are completely ridiculous… And in a way, our realization of that and reflection over it can help coping in certain regards.” He paused. Anthony looked up, eyes meeting the hippogriffs stoic features. “ But from my experience, acceptance doesn’t come from just believing that something happened, it comes from the acknowledgement of the reality of what happened. Even if it’s ridiculous, dissociating ourselves from that removes us from what we’re currently experiencing. You create a divide between yourself mentally and physically, and that generally leads to bad decisions.” Fletch finished, leaving the tension of the room as thick as it previously was. Anthony studied the hippogriff with mild surprise. Slowly, a sad smile creased his face. This whole situation was still so surreal. His mind had seemingly churned so much that it had left him with a numb lightheadedness slightly akin to the effects of laughing gas, or perhaps it was the alcohol. Either way, the hippogriff had a point. But at this moment, Anthony knew his reminiscing on the past wasn’t helping his mental state. It was time to change the subject.

“So, um…” Anthony spoke, catching the attention of those around. “What exactly am I here for?” He stared at the mostly blank and curious faces around him. “Not that I don’t appreciate being invited or anything! I haven’t actually talked this much in… a while. But uh…” As he trailed off Fizzle seemed to perk up.

“Well Oddities Anonymous is simply a support group! So by being a member you’re obligated to help those in the group who may need it and receive the same in return. But it’s not like we have quotas or anything, it’s more about, like, helping out friends!” She said cheerfully. Anthony nodded slowly.

“Okay, so like with the meat?” Anthony asked, glancing over at the hippogriff brothers. Fletch shook his head.

“Sort of, that’s just a sample bag we happened to have. We have a business to run you know? But if you wanted, we could discuss the details of getting you some of the real stuff later on.” Nock nodded at his brothers every word. Anthony frowned, thinking.

I don’t have any money, but maybe we could work something out… His stomach growled at the prospect. Fizzle, who had been gazing at the ground in thought with furrowed brows suddenly looked up.

“Wait a minute… Anthony, how old are you?” she asked, a hint of suspicion to her voice.

“Why do you ask?”

“You spoke earlier like you were really young!” Anthony cocked his head curiously.

“I am fairly young…” He said matter of factly. Fizzle pointed a hoof towards his face.

“But you have a beard!” The mare accused. Anthony instinctively reached to scratch the small patchy lumps of fur on his face.

“So?”

“Only OLD ponies have beards!”

“I’m not a pony…”

“So how old are you!” Anthony was getting frustrated.

“Well I’ve been here a year now so I’d be 18.” Fizzles eyes grew to the size of saucers.

“You’re not even old enough to drink?!” Fizzle shouted. Anthony frowned.

“Actually, most countries where I’m from the drinking age is~WOAH! Watch it!” Anthony called as Fizzle lunged for the bottle of alcohol by his seat. Anthony quickly reached for the bottle, managing to lift it out of the way before the mare skidded by, successfully preventing her from slamming face first into the thing.

“And I think that just about concludes today’s meeting!” Discord said before snapping his talons. As he did so, the four walls including the doorway that surrounded the group began to lift up with the heavy sound of grinding stone. Anthony turned, startled as he watched the area around him open up, revealing them to have been sitting in the center of the previous room the whole time. Ahead of Anthony was the bowling alley, to his left the pool tables and bar, and above and below him was the oddly out of place square area of acoustaboard ceiling tiles and linoleum floor that marked out the areas of the room they had been in.

“Well, that’s one way to make an efficient use of space…” Anthony said. Discord chuckled heartily.

“Yes, indeed! Thought up this design myself believe it or not.” He gestured to the area around him with a flourish.

No shit… Anthony thought sarcastically.

“I’ve got you!” Came a sudden shout as Fizzle came by for another pass, snagging the bottle from Anthony’s lofted hands and sliding away across the floor. Anthony blinked a few times astonished, empty hand still held in the air. He looked at his outstretched arm and shrugged.

“Whatever, can’t stand the taste anyways.” He muttered, suddenly noticing that the other oddities were starting to stand up. As a few of the members around him began walking away, Anthony quickly turned to Fletch and Nock.

“Wait, do we just go?” He asked the brothers curiously. They both looked at Anthony and then to each other before Nock spoke up.

“Well, you can go if there’s somewhere you need to be, but ponies generally hang around for a bit. Plus, Fletch and I in particular spend the night here.” He finished. Anthony looked at the lion-pony in confusion.

“You live here?” Fletch shook his head.

“No, our hunting cabin is deep in Whitetail woods down the mountain, but we don’t exactly fancy walking home in the dark.” He explained. Anthony nodded in understanding.

“Anyone else stay here like that?” Fletch looked at Anthony and then around the room.

“You know what? We got a pool game to finish. Why don’t you sit down and we’ll answer any of your questions while we finish it up. We could also start working out a deal to get you some meat.” The idea seemed to excite Anthony as he bolted up from his chair.

“Sounds great!” He cheered.

As the two Hippogriffs and Human began to make their way away from the center of the room, Fizzle continued to lay on the ground, bottle in hoof and face against the floor as the group dispersed. She lay there motionless, dejected frown across her features until a large fuzzy paw patted her mane gently.

“Something the matter, my dear?” Discord said consolingly, Fizzle gazed up at the draconequus with puppy dog eyes.

“Nothing…” She said, her expression obviously betraying her words.

“Now, now, Fizzle you know you can tell me anything.” He said, giving the mare an encouraging smile. Fizzle looked up.

“I don’t know… I thought Anthony might pay a little more attention to me, that’s all.” She said with a hint of disappointment to her voice. Discord gave a light tsk.

“What? He seemed to be paying you plenty of attention to me! Did you perhaps expect him to have a bit more of a reaction to your teasing?” He asked, floating over the prone mare in a relaxed pose. Fizzle fuffed out her glassy cheeks.

“No! I just… maybe. But usually it’s a bit easier. But that’s not what I meant! I thought he’d want to hang out with me or something, (or at least try my soda…)” She finished in a whisper. Fizzle shoved her face harder against the linoleum floor and groaned. Discord raised an eyebrow that went ever so slightly beyond the confines of his face.

“Why Fizzle dear, there will be plenty of time to talk with the lad. I myself was planning on meeting with him sometime tonight.” He smiled deviously. Fizzle looked up, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“What did you want to talk with him about?” She asked. Discord’s smile grew.

“Well, you already know that both him and I are not natives of these lands, correct?” He asked. Fizzle nodded. “I must tell you the truth, though I am a being that has traveled through dimensions for countless years, Anthony, his species at the very least, is entirely new to me…” He paused, staring over at the pool table where the human sat on a barstool watching the hippogriffs as they played, the three leisurely chatting with one another.

“New to YOU!... Wow…” Fizzle said, dazzled. Discord gave her a sidelong glance and scoffed.

“Don’t act so surprised, reality is quite expansive you know.” He lifted his claw, running the talons through his goatee. “But no. While it is difficult to make judgements on chance and possibility when you’ve traveled as much as I have, I truly believe his presence here is something special.” Fizzle giggled, rolling over.

“What? Are you saying it’s ‘destiny’ that he’s here or something? He doesn’t seem exactly like the hero type.”

“The ‘why’ is quite simple, but the ‘how’ not so much.” Discord said, ignoring Fizzles question. “You know what type of place he comes from right?” He questioned. Fizzle frowned and slowly sat up.

“I don’t know the specifics, but it sounded fairly normal based on what he said earlier.”

“He comes from a magicless world.” The draconequus said hollowly, continuing to float motionless in the air. Fizzle shrugged.

“Well, Minotaurs and Diamond Dogs don’t use magic. So how different could that really be?” Discord gave an amused look to the mare.

“You’re lucky that I like explaining things to you…” Fizzle giggled and waved a soda filled hoof at him in an “oh stop it, you!” manner. Discord smiled slightly.

“I’ll try to keep it simple. You know that in the past I have traveled through the planes of existence.”

“Like the pudding one?” Fizzle interrupted. Discord chuckled.

“Yes, that and many others. Traveling planes is an enormously difficult task, but it can generally be done by beings with significant enough power and knowledge. But for the sake of this explanation, imagine the planes of existence and reality like this.” Discord snapped his talons and with a flash of magic a miniature bathtub full of water appeared before Fizzle. “The water in this tub represents all possible planes of existence. There are an infinite number of them! So let’s say that I’m swimming around this tub and I happen to find a place that I want to come back to later, or maybe I want to track the ‘distance’ between two places in the tub. In that case, I make a marker of sorts.” With another snap of the draconequus’s talons, a small rubber ducky appeared in the pool with a thin string tied around it’s body that connected to the edge of the tub.

“When you understand how to find and utilize these markers, traveling around the tub and knowing where you are is quite simple. But there’s a bit more to it than that…” With a third snap. A tiny bucket of thick black oil appeared above the tub and unceremoniously dumped its contents into the clean water. “This small amount of oil represents areas that contain plains which are magicless. They go by a number of names but are most commonly called voids.”

Fizzle watched as the globules of oil dispersed through the water. The oil, being what it is, naturally didn’t mix with the water and floated in various clusters suspended at different points in the tub. “Because these areas are magicless, traversing them is extremely risky. In them, you no longer regain magic naturally, so you have a finite amount. But this is oil we’re talking about, it expels water, the longer you spend in the voids, the more your magic dwindles.” Fizzle lifted a hoof and tapped the rubber ducky, watching as it swayed in the water.

“Why can’t you just place a rubber ducky~ or marker in the void areas?” She asked.

“The markers are made using magic and as far as I know there is no reliable way to keep magic within them permanently.”

“But you’ve been in them before?” Discord nodded.

“Yes, but even with all my power I can only jump between two, or possibly three void planes before needing to return, and that itself is extremely risky. From the few dives that I have done I’ve either found little to nothing within the realms or otherwise completely unstable and hazardous INFINITY!” He paused, arms held high. “The nature of voids is considered to be one of the last great questions of everything! And to be in a room with a being that claims to come from a magicless world! Why, he could possibly be the key to uncovering the answer to one of the oldest questions in existence!” Discord said, seemingly excited. Fizzle tilted her head, looking up towards the floating amalgamate.

“Do you really care about answering that question, Discord?” She asked skeptically, he laughed.

“No, not particularly! But it undoubtedly makes him all the more interesting. Speaking of, I believe Anthony's just about finished speaking with the brothers.” Discord said, seeing the man begin making his way away from the pool tables.

Author's Note

🎵AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEIIIIIIIIII WILL NEVER CONSISTENTLY UPDATE THIS STORRYOORRRYYYY🎶

I'm so sorry.

8 - THE REAL BIG REVEAL and subsequent boringness...

“Oh, that looks just lovely doesn’t it…” Anthony muttered to himself as he took in the house before him. The building was old and beaten, the white paint having been weathered from it’s paneling revealing the decaying wood beneath. The porch out front was tilted, and looked as though it could crumble at any moment. The one thing that did surprise Anthony however, was that all of the windows and doors seemed to be intact, and from his view, in pretty good condition. But even with this one upside, the building was still way past it’s due. The yard itself fared no better, the ground was bare of grass and held thick cracks from the dryness that he recalled sometimes seeing on mid summer days back home. Lastly, any shrubs or trees that once lived in this yard were nothing more than husks now, their twisted bodies still reaching to the sky as if begging for water. Turning his head he spotted the mailbox. A tilted rusty metal frame sitting just left of the cobblestone path that led up to the door. The number plating on it’s side was clearly labeled in clean bright golden numbers, 1504, and unless he was somehow mistaken, this was indeed Moonlight Lane. Anthony scratched his chin in thought.

Maybe I did mess up, I’ve never been in the lower districts before after all.

Pulling the letter out of his pocket and flipping it open, he read over the lines again quickly.

And yes, I am talking about the house that looks like it's about to fall apart that is currently under renovation.

Being unable to read the lines that were crossed out due to the erratic crayon scribbling over them Anthony could only assume that this was the place. He let out a sigh, folding the letter back up.

“Well…” He hummed to himself. “If I’m not raped or killed tonight I’ll consider this a win.” He said, taking his first steps up the pathway to the door.

Earlier that day...

“Tired…” The word left Anthony’s mouth all but too late as Luna’s teleportation spell finished and he once again found himself back in his familiar room. Reorienting himself, he noticed she’d placed him right at the foot of his bed.

“Oh, how convenient magic is, ya higgs manipulating bastard ponies.” He muttered to himself. Having nothing much else to do, Anthony walked over to his desk, pulling out his chair and plopping himself down with a crunch.

“Huh?” Anthony reached into his back pocket, memories suddenly flooding back to him as his hand wrapped around the mysterious letter. A large smile spread across his face as excitement began to fill him. What could it be? After all, he hadn't gotten a letter from anyone since his arrival, so it had to be special.

Pulling it out and unwrinkling the creases he’d accidentally made, Anthony gingerly set it down on the desk.

He-he-hee! It’s like christmas, but stupid, cause it’s only a letter. But stupid christmas is still christmas!

Releasing the last of his reserves, Anthony eagerly picked up the letter. Slipping a finger beneath the sealed tab he began to slice the outer layer open. His finger itself, not being a fine letter opener, haphazardly ripped and teared, leaving the top of the envelope like the gaping maw of a revine. And there it was. Anthony’s eyes caught sight of a clean white sheet of paper, folded thrice, perfect, and neatly placed inside. Taking a moment to note that he didn’t feel as though any spells or curses had been placed on him, he slipped two fingers in, pulling out the paper.

“Moment of truth!” He said before flipping the paper open. Upon looking at the inside, Anthony’s smile slowly melted away from his face. “It’s… written in, crayon?” More confused than disappointed, Anthony began to read the letter.

Dear Anthony Nones the human,

We at Oddities Anonymous would like to cordially invite you to one of our get togethers this coming Friday, July 23, to sit in on one of our bi-weekly meetings. Oddities Anonymous is an exclusive club Oddities Anonymous is a support group created by and consisting of beings throughout Equestria that have great difficulty blending into pony society simply because of who or what they are. It is designed to bring together and empower those who have felt neglected or estranged by ponies in a friendly, nonjudgmental environment.

If you would like to come and join us for some fun! one of our bi-weekly support meetings, please come to 1504 Moonlight Lane at 9 pm on Friday, July 26.

And yes, I am talking about the house that looks like it's about to fall apartthat is currently under renovation.

Anyways, that's about it! Hope to see you there!

Love, Fizzle! <3

PS - This week’s password is "Fizzle is delicious!"

“What, the, fuck.” Anthony said to himself. “Again, why is it written in crayon!” Not only was it written in crayon, but every word was a different color, making reading the thing a difficult and headache inducing endeavor. The penmanship was sloppy at best, and a couple of lines, which Anthony could only presume were mistakes on the writer’s part, had been crossed out. A myriad of crayon colors blocking what words once lay beneath them.

Why not just rewrite it if you mess up so much. Also what’s up with this?! Almost everything about it is professional and formal but the presentation is that of a five year old!

“Oddities Anonymous…” He hummed to himself. It did have a nice ring to it, however he couldn’t help but recall the distinction between it and a certain alcoholics anonymous form back on earth. Did they have those in Equestria?

What kind of new level of crazy have I just stumbled upon? Anthony read over the last lines again. A disturbed shiver tracing up his spine at seeing the cutsie red heart and “password” Fizzle is delicious.

What sort of misguided child wrote this!? Wait, maybe this is like a cereal killer’s letter. Well, those are usually with cut out magazine letters aren’t they. Though I do suppose that using crayon would sufficiently hide your handwriting, or hoofwriting in this case. I wonder if Celestia would freak out if I sent her something written like this. Anthony shook his head, it was no time to get distracted with another Celestia pranking brainstorm, he needed to focus.

“1504 Moonlight Lane, now where is that?” Anthony had traveled through most of the upper city at one time or another and he’d never heard of a Moonlight lane. That left him only one way to figure it out.

“TO THE LIBRARY~wait…” He cut himself off.

Am I seriously considering going to this? I mean, it definitely sounds interesting, but this whole letter thing is as shady as a trenchcoat superstore. Hell, there are two DIFFERENT dates on if for the meeting, which even is it?!

July 23 or 26. In hindsight, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out considering it said it had to be on whichever was a friday, though Anthony couldn’t even remember what today’s date was, yet another reason to head back to the library. With a new objective and an old destination Anthony came to his decision.

Whether it ends up turning sour or not it should be interesting. Maybe this’ll be the start to a big adventure like I’ve always dreamed of! It’ll be a trap and there’ll be a bunch of evil doers with a world ending plot and I’m the only one who can save everyone! Probably not though, I’d just die if that happened. Anthony thought grimly.

Folding up the letter and returning it to his pocket Anthony stood and made his way out of the room.

Thankfully the trip back to the library was uneventful for Anthony. His guards that had been left back at Luna’s room still hadn't returned, and because it was night none of the thestrals payed him much mind as he made his way through the halls, lit visibly by the pale moonlight from the windows and the occasional lamp that lined the walls. Soon enough he was opening the stained glass door and entering the library once again. However, this time he wasn’t met with the usual encroaching silence of the library, his ears immediately caught the sounds of snoring.

Moving past the shelves, the snoring grew louder as Anthony walked up to the circulation desk.

“Uh… Mr. Light?” Anthony asked quietly. Before him, sitting exactly as he was when he had left the library, was Night Light. Except now he was fast asleep, face pressed deeply into a book on his desk, glasses askew and drool slowly dripping from his open muzzle, dampening the pages.

“Well, since you’re still here I, could use, you, awake…” Anthony muttered to himself. A wicked smile spread across the human’s face before he stepped back and took a deep breath.

“AH! NIGHT LIGHT, JUST THE PONY I WAS LOOKING FOR!”

Author's Note

EXAMS ARE COMING, HOWEVER WORRY NOT FAIR SUBJETS FOR AFTER THAT LAY THE SHIMMERING WHITE SNOWS OF WINTER BREAK, FREEDOM FOR ME TO WRITE TO MY HEART'S CONTENT AS THE COLD PREVENTS ME FROM WANTING TO BE AN ACTIVE NORMAL HUMAN BEING.

so yeah, more chapters soon, hopefully, blargh!?!

10 - I'm finally here! Let's make some friends.

After watching Night Light leave, Anthony collected himself before silently making his way out of the library once more, beginning the journey back to his room. The castle was almost completely silent, the only noises he heard being the multiple pieces of paper in his pockets that crinkled slightly with each step as he made his way through the vast and otherwise dead halls. As he walked, Anthony found his eyes drawn to the occasional lamp placed on walls. He’d stare at the flickering flames in each one until he walked past it, only to lock eyes onto the next one a few moments later. It was mesmerizing in a way, especially at this late a night. The only thing that stopped this cycle was for him to give a nod or small wave to the occasional Thestral that he happened to pass.

By the time he had reached his room Anthony was feeling the throws of drowsiness overtake him as his eyelids became heavier by the second. Turning the last corner Anthony spotted the two guards from before, seemingly even more tired than him, standing by the door to his room as if he were still inside. Their usually stiff formal stances were slumped as though they were under a higher force of gravity. The weight of the armor and the bags under their eyes seemed to want to drag them to the floor.

Upon seeing Anthony, both guards let out a small sighs of relief, not for the sake of Anthony’s well being, but for them not having to report that they lost the human. Otherwise they seemed to ignore him as Anthony walked up, opening the door to enter his room.

In his absence the place had been thoroughly cleaned, the bed was freshly made and any dust that may have accumulated since the maid’s last visit was removed. Paying no mind to it, Anthony walked over to his bed, slipping under the covers and getting into a comfortable position.

So, tomorrow night eh? Guess I’m really doing this. Anthony thought to himself. Turning his head, he looked at the closet door across the room to his right. So, I’ve got a better rope now, and if I do fall Nightingale will ‘probably’ be there. If she can even catch me that is, she is kind of thin… Heh, what am I talking about, another couple years here and it’ll look like I’d come out of an internment camp. Anthony’s attention was momentarily brought back to the almost constant ache in his stomach. He did his best to divert his thoughts. Knock thrice and the back panel will open, shouldn’t be too hard.

“Oddities Anonymous, what are you?” Anthony muttered to himself. Closing his eyes, he finally allowed the succubus of sleep to overtake him. His thoughts filled with excitement, possibilities, dangers, and consequences…

___

The morning seemed to come far too soon. Celestia’s sun crested over the Equestrian horizon bringing light and vibrance to the land. Along with it came a familiar, hard, three tap knock on Anthony’s door.

Knock Knock Knock!

“Creature! The princess has requests your presence in the dining hall im~”

“YEAH, I FUCKING KNOW ALREADY!” Anthony shouted from behind the door. At his shout, the guard jerked back from the unexpectedly loud reply. Muttering a few curses under his breath, he returned to his previous position.

After getting cleaned and relatively freshened up, Anthony was escorted down to the dining hall by his two guards. As they walked, the serene sights of Canterlot Castle did nothing to calm the machinations still going on inside Anthony’s head.

So, if the letter is to be believed and this is actually a support group for… oddities, I suppose is the only appropriate word, then tonight should be very interesting indeed… I mean seriously! What, or, who could there possibly be there!

Calming his sudden internal burst of excitement, Anthony noticed they’d arrived at the dining hall. Without hesitation, he opened the doors and walked in, leaving his guards without so much as a goodbye. Crossing the barrier into the new space, Anthony took in the sights around him. The dining area was as grand as ever, looming walls, tall windows, long fine tables, and a number of servants scuttling about, there to attend the guests every beck and call. At the very end of the room, sitting at a grand table elevated a few steps higher than the rest of the room, he could just make out the pair of ethereal manes of the royal sisters.

The dining hall itself wasn’t packed by any means. No, it took an event along the lines of the Grand Galloping Gala to fill this place up. The ponies, and few other species (He noticed a griffon, a zebra, and a goat scattered about) dignitaries and the like, were spread out amongst the tables. The one thing everyone there all had in common was their being the “well to do” types. Most everyone he spotted was wearing fine suits or modest dresses, and he could smell that there was enough cologne and perfume in the room to drown a man.

Anthony began walking down the hall, making his way over to the sisters to hopefully get some breakfast. Why not sit somewhere else? Anthony had tried that. He’d also tried eating at different times of the day. In either case the waiters often were either too scared to come over and serve him or felt no obligation to. Sure, sometimes it worked out like the way it did yesterday, but he couldn’t rely on it. This was just yet another contributor to his increasingly decreasing weight. However, this changed when he dined with the princesses, after all, the servers had standards to keep! Even if it involved serving the loathsome monkey.

Looking ahead Anthony could see the royal sisters more clearly, seemingly having not noticed him, they were both going about eating their breakfast none the wiser. As he made to approach, Luna finally seemed to see him, she smiled and waved him over with a hoof. However, before he could comply, a voice from a nearby table caught his attention.

“Excuse me? Excuse me, good sir!” At the words, Anthony turned in the direction of the voice. Sitting at one of the nearby tables was white coated stallion in a fine suit, however unlike the abominable Prince Blueblood, this one had an entirely different demeanor. His hair was a thick blue wave rolling atop his head, parted neatly down the middle. Set above his upper lip were two matching small blue tufts of a mustache. Lastly, to complete the look, on his right eye sat a golden monocle that glinted in the sunlight streaming from the windows. Meanwhile sitting to his left was a mare, her coat just a slightly off shade white and her mane a two tone white and light pink. Her purple irises were accentuated by a slightly darker eyeshadow that glittered lightly.

While quite clearly local nobility, what truly caught Anthony’s attention was the small smile on the stallion's face, a far different look than he was used to from ponies of such station. Both were sitting on the opposite side of the table nearest him, half eaten breakfasts still laid out before them. They gazed at Anthony expectantly.

“Are, you talking to me?” The man asked. The stallion nodded to him, excitedly?

“Yes, yes! May we speak with you?” He asked. Anthony looked around, not spotting any other ponies near this particular part of the table. Anthony walked over until he was in front of the pair, but didn’t make to sit down.

“Did ya’ need something?” Anthony asked crossing his arms.

“You wouldn’t happen to be Anon, would you?” The stallion asked. Anthony felt his eye twitch at the use of the name, but noticing the lack of malice behind his words Anthony restrained his discontempt.

“It’s Anthony actually, but yes.” He said with a nod. The stallion’s eyes widened slightly at this.

“Ah, my apologies…” He paused, thinking over the strange name carefully. “...I’m sorry, but I fear that I won’t be able to pronounce that name, is there something else that I may call you by?” He said respectfully. Anthony smirked inwardly.

“You can just call me Tony then. It seems ponies have a lot less trouble with that one.” The mare giggled, rolling the name off her tongue.

“Tony… zounds Gryphonian, no?” She asked, surprising Anthony with a french accent. The mare poked her husband playfully. He reached up to stroke his chin.

“I suppose it does in a way, and yet it still has a more exotic feel all the same. Oh goodness! I haven’t even introduced myself yet!” The pony sat up straight. “My name is Fancy Pants, and this is my fiance Fleur De Lee. It is our pleasure to meet you Mr. Tony” He said holding out a hoof. Staring at it a moment, Anthony reached up, wrapping his hand around the appendage for a firm shake. Fancy didn’t flinch, pause, or look disgusted in any way, in fact his smile seemed to grow as he shook his hoof along with the man’s hand.

“Splendid! Now I must ask, how has your jacket been faring Mr.Tony.” Fancy Pants asked, Anthony raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“My jacket?” He repeated, The stallion nodded.

“Yes, I believe that Princess Celestia gave it to you as a Hearth’s Warming present all those months ago.” Recognition suddenly flashed in Anthony’s eyes.

“You made that?” He asked surprised. Fancy Pants nodded.

“Along with the help of my Fleur here, yes.” He said, giving her a light bump with his shoulder. Fleur smirked at Fancy before turning back to Anthony.

]“We were quite surprised when ze princess came and asked us for zis commission. She only provided us with ze measurements and said to make a ‘casual jacket’. We didn’t even know who or what you were at ze time...”

“But, did you know of me?” Anthony asked. Fleur and Fancy looked at eachother for a moment of confirmation before speaking.

“Zer were… negative rumors floating about, but zer were no specifics or facts that we could place. We do not judge the same way others within Canterlot might.”Anthony smiled.

“And that goes very much appreciated. Listen, not to be rude or anything but I am getting pretty hungry. Why don’t we~” Fancy Pants raised a hoof, calling over the nearest servant, who briskly trotted over.

“What can I do for you this morning, Sir Fancy Pants?” The servant asked.

“Yes, could we get a stack of eh, fresh pancakes?” Fancy looked to Anthony, who after a moment of staring nodded dumbly. “And some drinks, how about milk and orange juice for the lot.” Fancy said with a smile. The servant nodded, looking between the couple, and then up at Anthony before nodding and trotting away. “Many thanks.” Fancy said, extending the s ever so slightly in indignation at the servant’s quick withdrawal. Anthony felt his stomach grumble as the idea of freshly cooked pancakes permeated his mind.

“I... guess I’ll stay for a bit.” Anthony said slowly, taking a seat across from the couple. As he moved, Fleur looked the man up and down with a critical eye.

“You know, you seem a bit smaller zen your measurements would have lead us to believe.” Anthony looked at the mare surprised for a moment before responding.

“Yeah, I’ve lost some weight since then.” He fibbed, Fleur seemed to accept this with a simple nod.

“Well, if you ever need it resized you know who to come to.” Fleur said kindly. Anthony nodded in appreciation. A moment of silence passed before Anthony decided to speak up.

“So, is there any specific reason that you wanted to talk to me?” He asked.

“Besides simple curiosity about one of our stranger patrons?” Fancy asked, Anthony nodded. “Well, sorry to disappoint, but that was indeed the primary reason. Otherwise, we came to make an offer to you” This caught Anthony’s attention, as he leaned forward placing his arms on the table.

“What kind of offer?” He asked cautiously. Fancy waved a hoof dismissively.

“Nothing of the discrete or illicit sort mind you, we don’t deal in those areas. But, based on what I can see from the current state of your attire you may be in need or some new pieces.” Fancy looked to Fleur who continued for him.

“We came to ze decision together to offer to make you some more clothing, in exchange for, certain payment.” Anthony furrowed his brow and sighed.

“Sorry, but if you couldn’t tell, I’m flat broke.” Fancy chuckled to himself.

“We aren’t asking for bits Mr. Tony, not to sound pretentious but we no immediate need for such. You see, Fleur and I have had a nasty bite of curiosity since we learned of you and we though a fair exchange would be for us to satisfy a potential need for you while you satisfy our inquiries. After all, you haven’t even told us what you are, and we’ve barely gotten a name to the face!” Anthony leaned back shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, I’m a human. What else did you want to know?” The pair seemed to have a semi-mad glint in their eyes as Fleur leaned forward.

“Everything!” She said excitedly. Anthony leaned back in his chair, thinking to himself.

I haven’t really told anyone about Earth before… Hell, I’ve been actively avoiding telling ponies haven’t I? Luna knows some things of course, but she was never one to pry. Anthony looked down at his pants, noticing the frayed holes at the knees and the various dirt stains that he couldn’t scrub out in the tub. Yes, he usually washed them in the bathtub in his room. Both his shirt and pants were also too big now due to his diminishing size, his shoes were completely wrecked, his socks were just disgusting, I think you get the point. Ah, fuck it! I’ll just avoid nuclear fusion and guns. Plus, a fresh set of clothes would feel amazing!

So, Anthony began telling the couple about himself and humanity. He started off by telling them about his arrival, skimming over a few possibly incriminating facts about a certain princess as he did so. They both expressed their surprise, telling him that they had originally believed he was just a creature from beyond the “known world”, something Anthony had yet to read up on. Soon enough their food came as Anthony began to tell them about his home life and family between bites. They both expressed sympathy for his loss, Anthony brushed off the sentiment but was secretly grateful for it. The pancakes Fancy had ordered were as delicious as they looked. Far too soon, Anthony began to notice that a number of ponies started filing out of the dining hall and the servers had begun picking up plates and wiping down tables. Fancy seemed to notice this too.

“It appears that our time is up, sadly.” Fancy said. Anthony looked over to the grand table at the end of the hall, it had been immaculately cleaned but there was no longer any signs of either of the princesses. “Anthony?” Fancy asked, bringing his attention back to the couple. “I would like to thank you for telling us so much about yourself, it has been a very… enlightening experience.” He said with a smile. Fleur nodded.

“Indeed, your family zounds wonderful. Again, we are very sorry for your loss.” Anthony waved a dismissive hand and remained silent. Fancy reached into his coat pocket.

“Well, Mr. Tony a deal is a deal.” Fancy pulled out what appeared to be a business card from the interior of his coat, placing it on the table and sliding it over to Anthony. “Our doors are always open to you, stop by whenever you have the time. We do have to get you remeasured after all.” Anthony picked up the card, giving it a quick glance before sliding it into his pocket. Fleur spoke up.“I hope zat when you come over you will be willing to tell us more about yourself and your ‘people’ as you call them. I feel as though you’ve only just begun telling the story.” She said. Anthony stood from the table, allowing a smile to crease his face as he looked down at her.

“Most assuredly…”

Time seemed to fly by after he’d finished up his breakfast with Fancy Pants and Fleur de Liz. As he got up and made his way out of the hall, his guards outside took to his sides and he quietly made his way back to his room. For the first time in a long time Anthony actually felt full! The old but familiar tightness in his midsection brought a small smile to his face. Pancakes were a super high energy food to ponies, and to his knowledge were generally only eaten for special occasions and get togethers lest they lose track of their waistline. This made the meal all the more special and filling to him, Anthony gave his stomach a satisfactory pat. As they continued walking back, he thought over the conversation he’d had earlier more detail, as well as Fancy and Fleur themselves.

They seemed… nice. I’m sure there would’ve been some signs if they wanted to know about me for any devious reasons. Most ponies are god awful liars after all. But… and maybe it’s just my paranoia talking, I think I should be more cautious than I just was. I told them about my family… heh, that’s a first... As he walked and pondered, Anthony’s thoughts drifted into the past. He felt as though a dusky smog had begun to weigh down inside his head, sinking and dripping into other parts of his body like liquid lead, his blinking sped up slightly as a slight moistness filled the edges of his eyes, threatening to spill. He stopped walking, staring at the ground with a blank expression. After a few steps the guards stopped as well, turning and gazing up at him with caution.

…

…

…

Anthony took a deep breath through his nose. Feeling the tightness in his muscles relax as he exhaled slowly. Without a word, Anthony resumed his previous pace. Passing the guards who stepped back as he walked between them. They looked at eachother and then the creature before walking after it at a slightly quicker pace to catch up.

___

Anthony spent the rest of the day in his room. Not wanting to go out again, he spent most of the time writing and thinking. He ended up completely skipping over lunch, something that he’d later come to regret, but Anthony was focused on other things at the moment, including tonight’s game plan.“Hehe. ha. HAHA! MUAHAHAHAHA! Oh this will be SO grand if it works out!” Anthony laughed to himself maniacally. Sitting back in his desk chair, he gazed upon the few crucial items that he’d gained in order for tonight’s escapade to go smoothly. Firstly, the map of Canterlot with the directions Night Light had given him was open and laid out before him. Sadly, he had to make a few changes. Now there was a shoddily drawn in pencil line from Dawn Water Park that weaved it’s way to the main thoroughfare, meeting up with Night Light’s fine ink one. After all, he couldn’t just leave through the front entrance. Otherwise there was just the strange letter that he’d received at the lake. He’d given it another read over just to make sure everything was correct, and it was, as far as he could tell.

Hopping up from his chair, Anthony made his way over to the closet with a skip in his step. Opening the door and stepping inside Anthony looked over the few articles of clothing he had. Hanging on the rack he spotted the flannel jacket, whose makers he now knew, waiting for winter use. Looking to the back wall, nothing seemed blatantly out of the ordinary. It was the same solid white marble stone you’d have spotted anywhere else in the castle. Stepping up to it, Anthony placed his hand on the surface. It felt the same, no sign that there was any form of cavity beneath it. Without hesitation, Anthony brought back his hand and rhythmically placed the three ritual knocks upon the wall.

There was a momentary pause.

KRRRRRRRRUT... SHUNK!

A small square of stone, about two foot by two foot in size began sliding back into the wall. After grinding about three inches it stopped, before quickly shooting up and out of sight, revealing an opening beneath.“Perfect!” Anthony said to himself. Seeing the promised chord sitting inside he picked it up, giving it a good look over. It was a long, thick role of tightly bound hempen rope, maybe not perfect for his needs, but definitely better than what he’d been using. Satisfied, Anthony reached up to tap out to close the trapdoor, however looking up he was met with a startling surprise.

“GAH!” Anthony shouted, jumping back from the smiling pony face that had suddenly appeared inside the trap door.

“Room service!” Nightingale said gleefully, sticking her hooves out of the hole in the wall like she wanted a hug. Anthony just stood back with wide eyes, trying to calm his racing heart.

“Nightingale! What the hell are you doing in there!” Anthony demanded. Nighty put her hooves together and fluttered her eyelids innocently.

“Waiting for you to take a shower!” She said. Anthony sighed, grumbling to himself.

“How long have you been in there?” He asked in a calm but irritated tone. Nighty tapped her chin in thought.

“Ummm, what’s today?” She asked. Anthony gave the most deadpan of looks. With a huff the thestral relented. “Alright fine, spoilsport, I snuck in and went to sleep here just after you left.”

“So, you’ve been in there ALL DAY! Were you not concerned about, I don’t know, being stuck in there forever!” Anthony shouted. Nightingale lifted a hoof.

“Fun fact! This door actually works both ways!” With a little bit of squirming, Nightingale slipped back into the trap door before tapping her hoof against the side. With another few sounds of stone grinding the 2x2 block slipped back into place, blending seamlessly with the wall around it. After a few seconds, the wall began to grind a third time, moving in and back up revealing the smiling thestral once again. Anthony gazed down at her with a frown.

“You didn’t know it worked both ways until you actually locked yourself in there, did you?” He asked. Nighty rubbed the back of her head with a hoof guiltily. “That’s what I thought… How did you even fit in there?” He asked.

“It’s roomier than you think!” Nighty said with a smile. Rolling his eyes Anthony walked up and grabbed the mare by her front hooves.“C’mon, you’ve been in there long enough.” With a few solid tugs and a lot of cursing from Nightingale, the mare was removed from the compartment and placed on the ground haphazardly. Leaving her to reorient herself, Anthony went about closing the trap door. “So, I can only assume that Luna told you about this. That also means that you know that I know that you’ve been spying on me for quite a while now. That honestly doesn’t surprise me.” Shaking herself off, Nightingale looked up at Anthony hopefully.

“You’re not mad?” She asked. A smirk wormed it’s way onto Anthony’s face.

“Not mad per say, but you certainly owe me for your dishonesty. I’ll call on that dept whenever I need it.” Nighty looked like she was about to protest, but before she could Anthony reached down, lifting the mare beneath one of his arms walked into the main area of his room.

“H-Hey! Put me down!” Nighty shouted, thrashing her hooves about uselessly. Anthony obliged, dropping her on the rug by the end of his bed before taking a seat on the cushioned surface. He watched as Nightingale scampered to her feet, staring at him angrily.

“What was that for?!” She asked. Anthony laced his fingers, resting his chin on them as he sat.

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t throw you out of this room right now, and continue to do so every time you break in for the foreseeable future.” He said flatly. Nightingale’s mind raced, trying to think up a good answer.

“I care about you very deeply?” She asked with a cocky grin. Anthony’s expression didn’t change. “I, am your best friend?” Anthony looked out the window, noticing that the sun was dipping beneath the horizon, he stood up and began walking over to the door.

“Stay there and be quiet for a minute. I have to deal with something.” With that Anthony stepped out of the door and into the hallway, closing the door behind him. Taking a step forward he turned on his heel.

Before him stood two new day guards, he was really blowing through them nowadays. How could he tell? There was just a certain air about new guards versus the one’s that he’d already spent some time with. There was a certain glint of confidence in their eyes that was almost always gone after he’d dealt with them. There were plenty of soldiers in the castle to keep him freshly stocked anyways. These two had just been posted on him for their first night shift with him. Both gold clad fellows stared up at him cautiously with spears in hoof.“Hello gents! Based on the fact that both of your expressions are not that of sheer terror I would say that this is the first time you have been posted to me.” He said. The pair of solar guards said nothing, but continued to eye the human up and down with slightly increased worry. “In that same regard, you may have heard about a certain few ‘escapes’ that I have performed, generally leaving your fellow stallions in arms worse for ware…” Anthony took a breath. “However, tonight is not the night for such antics… should you comply. I have come to propose a deal to the both of you.” He said with a sly smile. The guard on the right scoffed haughtily.

“We don’t make deals with animals!” Anthony’s eye twitched, but despite the sudden burning in his belly he held his composure. His smile turned sickly.

“I feel, that this deal is something that you both will appreciate very much. It’s a simple request, leave now, and you will not face my wrath.” A few moments passed. The guard on the left looked at his partner and then back to Anthony before speaking.

“What’s the catch?” He asked, keeping his voice level. Anthony held his hands up innocently.

“No catch, you can wander the halls pretending to look for me. You can even go out for a drink! I don’t care. As long as I don’t run into you again for the rest of the night.” The left guard looked over to his partner with a slightly softer expression, however the one on the right didn’t seem shaken.

“Tell us beast, if we are to refuse your offer. What is this supposed ‘wrath’ you speak of?” He asked. Anthony’s smile went full chesire.

“You’ve heard the stories I’m sure. Well, I was thinking, what could possibly be worse on a pony’s coat than chocolate syrup? Then one day, like a gift from the heavens, the idea came to me! CARAMEL!” And with that both guards shot off in opposite directions, dropping their spears in their haste to get away from the demon being. Anthony laughed uproariously as he watched them sprint around the corners and out of sight. Fighting off giggles, Anthony opened his door, stepping back into his room, shutting the door behind him. “That went well.” He said, walking over to the bed and picking up the rope.

“What? What did you do?” Nightingale asked.

“Just got rid of our friends in gold out there.” Anthony said as he unraveled the rope and began tying knots down it’s length.

“You were out there for like thirty seconds! How?”

“Human magic my featherless friend.” He said. Taking a few minutes to finish up with the rope before rolling it back up. Standing, Anthony made his way over to his desk, grabbing the map and letter before Nightingale could take a look at them. Now moving towards the balcony, Nighty stood up and followed behind him. Opening the doors to the outside Anthony once again felt the bitter winds batting against his skin, he gritted his teeth as the sudden temperature change sent a shiver up his spine.

“You're heading out again? A little earlier than usual, any reasons?” Anthony tied off the rope to the railing with the special knot he’d learned.

“None you need to worry about.” Anthony said, receiving a huff of annoyance from the mare.

“How do you expect me to heroically save you and carry you bridal style back to my room if I don’t know where you are?” She said. Anthony turned back to her, staring at Nightingale strangely for a few long moments.

“Goodbye!” He said before grabbing the rope in his hands and vaulting over the edge. Holding steady for a moment, and noting the familiar sensation of not falling to his death, Anthony began to slowly make his way down the rope, using the knots as hand and foot holds. Above, Nightingale poked her head over the railing, ready to spring into action should anything go wrong. Finally making his way to the end of the rope, Anthony spotted the larger balcony to the maid's quarters just to his right.

It’s just like the swings at the playground. Anthony reassured himself and began to shift his weight back and forth. While still cold, the winds were nowhere near as harsh as they were the last time he made the climb. As he swung, the distance to between him and the other balcony became smaller and smaller. With one final swing Anthony tensed his core, bringing up his legs and throwing them over the railing of the other balcony. Landing smoothly on both feet, he smiled to himself, before realizing he was missing one crucial thing.

“The rope!” Turning quickly, Anthony spotted it still attached to the railing of his room, swinging in the wind. Above, Nightingale leaned on the rail resting her head on her hooves with an amused expression on her face.

“Smooth…” She said sarcastically, words almost lost in the high altitude breeze. Anthony just shook his head.

“Nighty, could you just put that up for me?!” Anthony asked, shouting to make sure the words made it through. Nightingale gave a slow nod.

“Sure! You’re not dead so my job’s done! I think I’ll just go poking through your things while you’re gone!” Nighty said with a devilish smile.

“You do that and you might find yourself caught in the crossfire of my next escape plan!” Anthony threatened. Nightingale burst out in laughter.

“Go get lost Tony!” She said with a smile. Trying and failing to fight off the smile on his own face, Anthony gave the thestral a farewell thumbs up.

“You know I will!”

The journey to Dawn Water Park was as frustrating as ever for Anthony. A few scrapes and bruises were unavoidable in the dark dank confines of the escape tunnel that he found himself squeezing through once more. After finally finding his way out of the iron door and into the park, Anthony made a beeline for the city.

The moon had just crested over the horizon as Anthony found himself at the edge of town, pulling out his map he looked it over. Studying the streets before him, Anthony looked for some form of landmark to orient himself from. Fairly confident that he’d pinpointed his own location, Anthony left the forest limits, moving into and through the first alleyway he came across, entering the city proper.

Soon finding himself on the main road, Anthony looked up and down it for any signs of ponies. There was already a certain deadness to the city that you could only get at night, and as he looked about he couldn’t spot a single soul. A few of the buildings nearby still had a few flickering lights in their windows or leaking underneath the doors, but first impressions told him that he wouldn’t have to worry about running into any ponies on the roads tonight. With that, Anthony began navigating through the darkened streets of Canterlot. Guided only by the map given to him and the moonlight that allowed him to read it. Anthony found himself crossing through main roads, side roads, and alleyways as he went. All unsurprisingly devoid of life. Anthony had been in the city at night before, but for whatever reason, the emptiness of it always unnerved him. At least in the forest there were the sounds of night creatures, owls, frogs, even just the sound of wind flowing through the trees. Those brought him some level of comfort and familiarity. Here, there was nothing.

After about 15 minutes of walking Anthony began to feel less and less familiar with his surroundings. The path he followed through the streets, while winding and turning, ultimately lead in a downhill direction. At around the 25 minute mark the buildings began to change, the white and purple theme of the inner city had deteriorated into sturdy brick buildings. Some were shops that he could immediately recognize, like a bakery and a smithy that he passed. Next came wood houses, not shoddily built by any means, in fact some were quite cozy looking, but the decline in wealth among the districts seemed to match the decrease in altitude as he moved downhill.

After about 40 minutes walking, Anthony was finally at Moonlight lane.

Anthony stood in the middle of the road, looking at the desolate residential street before him. The sign that marked the road was a metal one, but unlike the finely polished and maintained ones on every other street in Canterlot, this one was rusted beyond belief. Like a decaying finger sticking out of the ground, the bent cross piece holding a half-hinged sign that Anthony could only barely make out the words on through the weathering.

The street itself fared no better. It was a small cul de sac of abandoned wooden shacks, each one he spotted seemed more decrepit than the one before. Night Light had told him that this place was abandoned and Anthony, having been to or at least seen a few places of the like back on Earth wasn’t too surprised. But there was something very different about this place than any other he’d seen before.

This street had died naturally.

The grass, weeds, and shrubs in the lawns before him had seemingly never been tampered with, left to grow out of proportion. The houses, while weathered heavily, held no signs of graffiti, breakins, or any sort of intervention by pony or otherwise. For a second, Anthony felt as though he was in Chernobyl, or some sort of apocalyptic world. As if on cue, the ghostly hoot of an owl permeated the air. Startled, Anthony looked up into the trees, but found that he couldn’t pinpoint the creature’s location as the hoots bounced around the nearby houses.“I bet they have a good finance director…” Anthony muttered to himself.a Taking his first steps into the neighborhood the cracked and unkempt pavement seemed to match his worn shoes perfectly as he slowly walked down the road. Keeping an eye on the houses at his sides, he didn’t lower his guard. Having now seen the street first hand, Anthony was starting to have some doubts about the truthfulness of the letter.

Many of the mailboxes that lined the street had lost their numbers by this point. As he made his way, Anthony counted, basing the address on any signs he could spot, doing his best to find 1504.

And there it was.

“Oh, that looks just lovely doesn’t it…” Anthony muttered to himself as he took in the house before him. The building was old and beaten, the white paint having been weathered from it’s paneling revealing the decaying wood beneath. The porch out front was tilted, and looked as though it could crumble at any moment. One thing that did surprise Anthony however, was that all of the windows and doors seemed to be intact, and from his view, in pretty good condition. But even with this one upside, the building was still way past it’s due. The yard itself fared no better, unlike the other buildings which were lively and overgrown, the ground here was bare of grass and held thick cracks from the dryness that he recalled sometimes seeing on mid summer days back home. Lastly, any shrubs or trees that once lived in this yard were nothing more than husks now, their twisted bodies still reaching to the sky as if begging for water. It was like the sky had intentionally avoided raining on this house in particular.

Turning his head he spotted the mailbox. A tilted rusty metal frame sitting just left of the cobblestone path that led up to the door. The number plating on it’s side was clearly labeled in clean bright golden numbers, 1504, and there was no way to be mistaken, this was indeed Moonlight Lane. Anthony scratched his chin in thought.

Maybe I did mess up, I’ve never been in the lower districts before after all. Anthony thought against his better judgement.

Pulling the letter out of his pocket and flipping it open, he read over the lines again quickly.

And yes, I am talking about the house that looks like it's about to fall apart that is currently under renovation.

Being unable to read the lines that were crossed out due to the erratic crayon scribbling over them Anthony could only assume that this was the place. He let out a sigh, folding the letter back up.

“Well…” He hummed to himself. “If I’m not raped or killed tonight I’ll consider this a win.” He said, taking his first steps up the pathway to the door.

Immediately after crossing the boundary, Anthony felt a shiver coursed up his spine, chocking it up to nerves, Anthony shrugged off the feeling and continued up the path.

As he got closer and closer to the house, Anthony could make out the finer details of its facade. The windows, which he had noticed before were not broken like the ones in many of the other houses, were also much cleaner than he would have expected from an abandoned place. The porch, which he had thought was tilted and broken beyond repair, had only a slight elevation to it that became more pronounced looking at a distance.

Stepping onto it, the old wooden boards gave creaks and groans as his weight pressed onto them. The door of the building only a few feet from him now. Taking a moment, he looked around the porch itself. There seemed to be nothing of any real interest on it, however looking at the floor he spotted a few black lines resting just beneath the window. Based on the shape and position he guessed they were made by the rails of two rocking chairs, left there by age. But the chairs that made them were nowhere in sight.

Quietly, Anthony tiptoed over to the window. Standing above the blackened chair marks he did his best to discretely peer inside.

There was nothing inside.

An empty living room, no furniture in sight, clean but abandoned. A small stone hearth and some in wall bookshelves accompanied it. But still no signs of life at all. Anthony felt his nerves rising all of a sudden. Was the reality of the situation finally getting to him? Or was the tightness that he suddenly felt in his gut a sign of what was about to happen. NO! There was no stopping now! Anthony looked back at the door. It was surprisingly clean. It seemed to be the only part of the exterior of the house that had not decayed in any way, in fact the door looked as if it were freshly painted. Anthony moved in front of it, cursing as one of the floorboards gave a distinct creak. Freezing and listening, Anthony didn’t hear any reactive sounds afterward, he kept moving.

The door had a tin mailslot about halfway up it’s length. But this was a pony sized door. So the slot was about level with his thigh, and the top of the door was still beneath his nose. Otherwise there was nothing fancy about it, no doorbell, no knocker. The thing itself was rather plain actually. Anthony lifted up his hand, bringing it back to preform a solid knock, but paused.

I’m really doing this? Anthony asked himself for the millionth time. Another part of him suddenly spoke up.

No shit you’re doing this, what did we come all the way here for anyways?!

Curiosity… mostly. I’m just saying this is the last chance we have to back out. If there is anyone here I don’t think they’ve noticed us yet. The other part of him scoffed.

Like hell they have! If they didn’t already know we were here you’d think there might be some kind of noise or movement coming from inside!

All the more reason to back out now! Count our losses and go home! The other half of Anthony laughed.

HA! I know you won’t do that. You will knock on that door, because you want to know what will happen. And if you leave now you’ll never know what would have happened, and neither of us can live with that… can we?

Anthony’s hand inched forward, closer and closer, pausing at about an inch away Anthony pushed past the last of his inhibitions. Hitting his hand lightly against the door with three light rhythmic knocks.

Knock… knock… knock.

He stood there silently for a moment. Looking around, nothing seemed to have changed. Shuffling his feet, he continued to wait patiently. After about 10 seconds a strange series of noises tickled at his ears.

Sclusch, sclackt, sclusch, sclackt. It sounded as like a person wading through mud, but the gait matched that of a quadruped. Anthony stood silently as the squishing and squashing became louder as the creature the sounds belonged to made it’s way up to the other side of the door.

SHHHHRRK

What Anthony had previously thought was a letter hole slid to the side, revealing an opening. Anthony leaned down, tilting his head to the side to get a better look at what or who was inside.

“Hi…” Came a small, feminine voice from behind the door. A pair of emerald green eyes peered up at him, through the small slot in the door, meeting his darker forest green ones.

He couldn’t see much inside, as there wasn’t enough light to give detail, but he could vaguely make out that her face was was an ever so slightly darker shade of green. He blinked a few times before responding.

“Er… Hi.” He greeted uncertainly. The emerald eyes blinked, no hint of malice behind them, they looked his form up and down much in the way that Fleur and Fancy did when they first met him. Suddenly, they locked onto his face again.

“password…?” The small voice almost whispered. Anthony stared at her, not registering what she said before it suddenly clicked.

“Oh! Oh right!” Anthony said, fumbling around in his pockets as he pulled out the letter and flipped it open. Skimming through the lines he quickly found the supposed password. “Uh… Fizzle is, delicious?” Anthony asked, feeling oddly uncomfortable saying the phrase out loud.

SHHHHRRK

The slot on the door slammed shut, Anthony stood there for a few moments, wondering if he had said something wrong. But then, with a sudden click the knob turned and the door opened with nary a sound. Once it had fully opened, the mare, or at least the creature that he thought was a mare poked her head out from behind it.

She looked like a mare, a mare with a green coat, green mane, and emerald eyes. But that was the thing, what he had previously thought was a coat of fur wasn’t actually fur at all. Upon closer inspection her entire body seemed to hold a strange glossy sheen. What he thought was a mane was very similar, it was a glossy looking glob formed in the shape of a regular pony mane. Stepping out fully from behind the door, Anthony noticed that she was wearing what appeared to be 4 matching green rain boots. However with each step she took, the things squished and squashed, as though the slimy substance that was covering her body had pooled inside the things. A theory which Anthony was believing more by the second. As she opened her mouth to speak, the line revealing it split open in the front of her face. Anthony suddenly realized that he couldn’t see her mouth before she actually opened it, as the goop she was soaked in covered her completely.

“Sorry for staring… they didn’t mention you were so tall.” She said in a quiet voice. The emerald eyes looked up to Anthony with a slightly guilty expression. Any unnerved feelings suddenly left him as he looked at the mare’s innocent and kind face. With a warmth welling from his heart, he smiled at her.

“Don’t worry about it…” He paused, looking down at her. “So, not to be rude or anything, but you’re one of the ‘oddities’ here right?” Anthony asked curiously. The mare nodded slowly.

“Yes... you came here for the meeting, correct?” She asked. Anthony nodded dumbly. “You’re a little late, but don’t worry, they wouldn’t have started without you.” Turning, the strange goop covered mare began walking back into the house, the squish squashes of her boots echoing loudly. Completely committed by this point, Anthony mentally shrugged and ducked under the door himself, stepping in line behind mare as she made her way down the hall.

“Excuse me? So uh, you said ‘the others’, you mean the other oddities?” Anthony asked as they walked. The mare looked back at him and nodded without a word. Anthony bobbed his head in turn, mind still cranking. “What’s your name by the way?” He asked. The mare looked back again.

“... We’ll do introductions at the meeting…” She said quietly, continuing down the hall. Anthony finally resigned himself to silence as he followed her. Doors passed on their left and right, the walls and features darkening as they left behind the windowed moonlit rooms from the front of the house.

After a sluggish fifteen seconds of walking in a hall that Anthony quickly noticed was far too long for the dimensions of the house, they’d arrived at the end of it. Looking over his guide, Anthony could make out a plain white door, just like all the others in the hall, however this one had a sliver of light leaking under the bottom crack. Without hesitating, the mare in front of him lifted her hoof, flicking the knob and pushing open the door as naturally as a human would. Anthony’s eyes widened as the sounds of music suddenly hit his ears. He blinked as the light of the room suddenly flooded the hall, stinging his darkness adjusted eyes. Stepping into the room behind the mare, he wiped the last of the pain from his eyes before opening them, getting a full view of the area.

The area before him was divided into a few distinct sections. The open space in front of him appeared to have a semicircle of very cheap looking grey chairs, sitting on a plain white linoleum floor, the ceiling above seemed to match the floor and chairs in theme seamlessly as it consisted of the white acoustical boards that you’d see on the ceilings in schools or old office buildings.

Ahead of that were a few short stairs marking the transition from the exceedingly plain center area into a much more brightly lit… bowling alley

CRASH!!!

"Again! Really?” An irritated, gritty voice called out. Anthony looked over, spotting for the first time the outrageously chaotic mishmash that he could only essume was some sort of amalgamate. At first glance, Anthony had though the being to be a sort of adolescent dragon. However, the older sounding voice as well as the strange and varying colors and parts that made up it’s form, he could safely assume he had no idea what that particular creature was. It seemed taller than him by a good two feet, it’s mismatched horns extending even further. With a few short chuckles, a yellow stallion standing next to the unknown creature spoke.

“You’re not going to beat my hook Discord. This just isn’t your thing.” The being, that Anthony realized was appropriately named Discord responded.

“You and your blasted, half-magic, whatever it is?!” Discord said frustrated. From another corner of the room, two more voices reached Anthony’s ears, young and distinctly male. Looking over Anthony saw what appeared to be a an area with pool tables and a bar room off to the side. A Brown unicorn stallion with a dirty blonde mane stood behind a pool table, preparing for a shot, while a griffon stood back watching.

“Okay, this shot is called the-uh… Manehattan tour carriage!” A series of clacks and cracks rang out then quickly dispersed. “See that! That’s how it’s done!”

click.

“What?!?” The stallion's voice shouted out. Prompting the second, who began laughing uproariously.

“The Manehattan tour carriage, eh? Remind me never to use that one.” The griffon said sarcastically.

Mesmerized, and somewhat dizzied by the scene around him Anthony walked over to the bar, taking a seat in one of the nicely upholstered stools around it. Wiping his eyes once more, he began looking over the drink filled shelves of the bar, not recognising any of the liquor names with his having never drank in Equestria before.

“Hi!” A pony’s head popped up right into Anthony’s vision. Causing him to jump back in fright with a startled shout. The mare giggled, putting her hoof up to her mouth.

“Well? Ya’ looking for a drink or not? Or would you rather drink straight from the tap?” The mare winked at him. Finally getting a clear look at the pony, Anthony noticed she had a thick maroon mane on her head with piercing rose red eyes, but that wasn’t what caught Anthony’s attention, what did was the glassy sheen that the mare’s entire body seemed to hold. Not only that, but it seemed that within her glassy exterior she was filled with... something. A dark brown liquid that stopped just at her neck. With each movement the stuff bubbled and sloshed about as though carbonated.

“Uhhh…” Anthony muttered dumbly. The mare giggled, sending a small flurry of fizz to the top of her liquid insides. “I-just, uh.” Anthony quickly composed himself “Alcohol, please. Strong, lots.” The mare giggled again prompting another series of fizzes.

“You’re gonna make it too easy for me tonight!” Not wanting to think about the implications of that statement, Anthony simply watched as the mare efficiently went about grabbing a white bottle of what he could only assume was vodka and a shot glass before setting them down in front of him. Pouring himself a hefty shot, Anthony looked back up at the strange mare, who had continued to smile at him innocently. Something in his head suddenly clicked.

“You’re Fizzle aren’t you?” He asked cautiously. The mare smirked.

“Was it not obvious enough?” She asked coyly. Anthony gave a visible roll of his eyes.

We’ll she certainly has a very bubbly personal~OH GOD DAMN IT! Anthony mentally smacked himself at the unintentional pun, quickly reaching for the shot he downed I without a second thought. As the burning sensation of the strong alcohol quickly coated his throat, Anthony focused on not falling into a coughing fit. He hit his chest with a fist, clearing his throat.

“Good stuff isn’t it? I’m not much of an alcohol drinker myself, but Discord sure knows how to set up a bar!” Fizzle said. Hearing the name once again, Anthony felt that he recalled it from somewhere.

“Yea, yeah… good stuff.” Anthony continued looking over the mare, his dizzied brain lazily putting link after link together. “So, uh. Not to sound rude or anything, but… what exactly, are you?” Anthony asked cautiously. The mare, who had been idly wiping down a glass with a rag looked at him.

“We’ll be doing introductions at the meeting. Which I believe we can start, now that our guest of honor has arrived!” She said gleefully. Putting down the glass and rag, she casually exited from behind the counter swinging her hips with each step as her hooves tinked against the wooden floor. Making her way over to the center of the room, the area with the linoleum floor and cheap chairs, she stopped in the very center.

There, Fizzle gazed over her domain. Taking note of all the faces around her currently going about their own business peacefully. She smiled… before taking a deep breath.

“EVERYONE ANTHONY’S HERE IT’S TIME TO START THE MEETING!!!”