Defiance

by TG Growl

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1320

Guy gets sent to Equestria after attending a con while cosplaying, and gets a even shorter stick then most others. Or maybe not?

Alright, so there he was minding my own business going to a con in his first cosplay.
Oh, You've heard this one before? Well then tell me this, O'mighty teller of stories. How far back in Equestria's timeline are those guys usually sent, and how much magic are they given?
Right, now, I was saying...
What?
*sigh* Yes there will be some gun porn. Now can I actually tell this story?
Thank you.

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Warning: not edited. These are simply some ideas I had for a displaced story of my own that I will be posting as little short stories.
I have not published anything on this site before.
Rated M for fowl language

Published 2015-08-10 15:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-10 15:20:02 UTC

Rise and Shine

And there Defiance stood tho stone no more, his armor was black like obsidian with charcoal undertones. He gazed upon the terrified ponies with the unflinching view of a reflective visor, and spoke words nopony would have thought a being of such terrifying legends would speak.

"Thank you young ones, you've given this old Marine back his life once more. Now run a'long."

And then the breathing legend, did something that while unbelievable, stuck more closely to the tales.

"SUNBUTT, MOONCHEAKS, GET YOUR SORRY PLOTS DOWN HERE, ON THE DOUBLE!!!"

He req- no, Ordered the Princesses, to do something. Had all the guards in Caterlot not been stricken with terror by a voice straight out of there boot camp nightmares, that carried with it a volume that would make the royal caps-lock sound like a kitten's purr, they might have done something.

Defiance waited... For about 12 seconds.

"I WILL COUNT DOWN FROM TEN, WHEN I REACH ZERO I WILL COME IN THERE AND DRAG YOUR PATHETIC FLANKS OUT HERE, YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO REACH ZERO."
This statement was not a threat but a promise of pain.

"10"

"9"

"8"

"7"

In a brilliant flash of gold Celestia appeared with a half-awake Luna in her telekinesis, clearly haven been quite literally ripped from her sleep. Though anypony not there that day to see it for themselves, would pass it off as wild rumors, the two beings that now stood before Defiance where not Demi-gods and co-rulers of a nation wearing their mask of indifference.
No, what stood before Defiance were two children who knew they were about to be punished, splayed back ears, lowered heads, drooping wings, shaking knees, tails between their legs.
Truly, such things were that of crazy rumors, right?
No.

"It took you four seconds to get here, that's 40 laps around the whole of Canterlot before sun down, no wings, no magic. Is that understood?" Spoke Defiance, his tone making it very clear that there would be no debate.

"U-uncle, if I hadn't had get Luna from her sle-"
Stutter Celestia.

"WHAT WAS THAT SUNBUTT I CANT HEAR YOU, IT MAY BE MY OLD AGE GETTING TO ME, BUT I THOUGHT I JUST HEARD SASS FROM YOU, DO YOU WANT TO REMOVE THAT COCK FROM YOUR MOUTH AND TRY, AGAIN!?!"
Roared Defiance. Coincidently every guard post in Canterlot and the surrounding area suddenly smelled of urine.

"N-n-n no sir."
Celestia squeaked in a voice so small that it would make Fluttershy proud.

"Good, then you'll be fine with one month of no cake."
Luna snorted, just to widen her eyes at the realization of the grave mistake she just made.

"Two months, no moon pies for that, Missy."
Defiance stated. He then did something that is quite arguably even harder to believe.

"Now come here and give your Uncle Dice a hug."
He took off his helmet letting fall to the ground and showed he was not a being purely of violence.

The two mares rushed forward with barely restrained tears of joy welling in their eyes, throwing their heads over each of his shoulder and wrapping their forelegs around each of his arms, as he wrapped his arms around their withers while bowing his head, while the two mares wept freely.

"W-we t-thought we wou-would never be a-a-able to speak to th-thou again"
Luna sobbed, as she tighten her grip on the man, as if he would disappear if she didn't.

"I- we missed y-you so much, u-uncle"
Celestia cried, burrowing her muzzle further into his back.

"Oh ye of little faith, it's going to take a little more than some petrifaction to keep this old devil dog, down and out."
Dice snarked with little force behind the quip, as he lowered them all down to their knees.

The trio sat like this for an untold amount of time, simple relishing in each others presences.
Uuuuuunnnntiiiillllll-

"H-halt creature, release the princesses at once"
One of the guards had apparently found his stallion card again and tried to play hero by leveling his spear at Defiance's head, note, tried.
Luna looked furious enough that she might just have to smack a bitch. Celestia was doing her best to withhold her best "are you shiting me?"look... and failing.
And Dice simply forgot to blink.

"Son, unless you intend to actually use that spear, I suggest you lower it before you get yourself hurt."

"N-no, I w-will protect the princesses"

Dice smiled as he slowly stood to his full 6ft. 2 inches of hight. Now towering over the clearly terrified guard, leaving the princesses on the ground, all the while said guard continued to hold his spear leveled with Defiance's head.

"Gotta give credit, where credit is due, kid's got balls."
Oh this is going to be fun.

"T-thank you Sir."

"And manners too, at least if not for breaking up the whole 'tearful family reunion' thing we had going."
Had to use some air quotes, for some reason ponies know exactly what they mean. Heck, if I didn't know any better this colt's white coat just got even whiter the moment he heard the word family. Though his spear hasn't even wavered.

"Y-you're lying, it's common knowledge that the princesses have no living,direct biological family, and your not even a pony."
He was gaining a little confidence in his words towards the end.

"And smart? Tell me guard, what's your name and rank? I'll make sure you get a promotion after this gets sorted out."
I like this colt he'll make a great leader given time.

"First Lieutenant Shining Armor, Sir, just got promoted last week."
The apparently named Shining Armor stated, think I heard a bit of pride in his voice.

"Ah, no longer the butter bars, are we?! Well then First Lieutenant Armor, I may have to belay that promotion, though I will definitely be keeping an eye on you. As for my alibi, if you don't believe my story why don't you simply ask the princesses for verification?"
Well can't immediately give him a second promotion, but if my hunch is right he'll earn it soon enough.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly, you you, you ugly! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" the two sisters blurted out.
I am now regretting teaching them that.

"Oh My God, you two are going to get me killed not even an hour after I manage to break out of that statue, over a joke." I had to facepalm at this there's simply isn't any other way to fully respond.

"Wha?"
I with you buddy.

"Alright let me ask you this Armor, have you ever seen the princesses act like this before, even around each other?
Let's see if I can get logic to work for me.

"Um, No."
Alright, hook.

"Would you care to venture a guess as to why that is?"

"Because they know you?"
Keep going, line.

"Yes, now if they know me and I was a threat to them, do you think they would be laying there giggling like a pair of foals?"

"No."
Yes! sinker.

"So can you lower the spear please?

"No, you're currently not a threat because I happen to have my spear leveled to your face"
So close, I'm beginning to think I under estimated this one.

"Oh my god this just isn't going to be my day is it?"

Author's Note

I'm so sorry...
Do you think I should post more ideas, write a proper story, or find some one else that's more experienced?
PS. Dear Moderaters, I'm sorry.
PPS. Oh! Bouns points to anyone that can figure out what coustume "Defiance" was wearing to his con.
PPPS. I was trying to have this chapter transfer from third person to first person PoV. Want to write a prologue in a strictly third person "story teller" PoV at a later time.