Ill Communication

Chapters

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Epilogue

Chapter One

Trixie approached her destination, hoofsteps growing more and more hesitant as it loomed in her view. She took a deep breath and squared her upper body, making sure her hat was on straight and her cape hung over her body as a makeshift armor against the task before her. I am Trixie, she declared to herself. I am the personal student of Princess Luna, bearer of the Element of Magic! She stomped a hoof into the dirt.This is nothing for me. I faced down Corona, saving Equestria! I can do this. I must do this!

She trotted forward, not even stopping as she entered Sugarcube Corner, the bell above the door jangling. Behind the glass-paned display counter stood Carrot Cake, co-owner and current salvation for Trixie. She trotted up to him and smiled. “Hello, Mister Cake.” She looked down at the counter and the wares contained within. “I'd like a dozen muffins, please.”

Carrot Cake nodded and leaned down, sliding the back door of the display counter open with a hoof. “Why certainly, Miss Lula–“ A soft chiming from behind the service door caught his attention and his head shot up and back. “Oh, dear. Cup Cake, how's the product?”

Cup Cake poked her head out the saloon doors that led to the back areas of Sugarcube Corner. “I might need some help,” she said to her husband. A sudden banging sent her a few inches into the air. “I'll send Pinkie Pie out to mind the counter.”

Carrot nodded and looked back to Trixie. “Sorry, Miss Trixie. Just be a second.” And with that, he walked back to the kitchen.

Trixie's eyes widened even as a pink bundle of hyper-condensed energy bounded out, landing right in front of the counter. “No, no...” She took a step back and lowered her head, letting the brim of her hat shade her eyes. Why, Princess Luna, why?!

Pinkie Pie waved a foreleg as Trixie, grinning madly. “Yes, yes!” She hopped up on her hind legs and leaned on the counter. “So, Miss Lulamoon, what'll it be? Do you want cake, pastries, gumballs?” Her eyes widened. “Ooh, maybe some cupcakes!” She leaned down and grabbed a tray of expertly-decorated cupcakes, the frosting covering the tops with little smiles and hearts. “I bet it's cupcakes you want!”

Trixie's mane bristled at her hated last name, but she simply shook her head, sliding another hoof back. “I simply want a dozen muffins to go. No cakes, no pastries and certainly no cupcakes.” She jabbed a hoof at a tray laden with blueberry muffins. “Those are fine, Pinkie Pie. Just box them up an-”

Pinkie Pie groaned and twisted her head around almost one hundred-eighty degrees, rolling her eyes to the floor. “Oh, come on! Muffins are so boring!” She twisted her head back, causing Trixie's eyes to spin and a mild wave of vertigo to hit. She slid the tray of cupcakes forward, almost to the edge of the counter. “They're so pretty and colorful and fun!” She batted her eyelashes at Trixie. “So, whaddya say?”

Anger built up in Trixie's torso, but she squelched it and stepped right back to the counter. She leaned over the top, cocking an eye at Pinkie Pie. “I am going to Ditzy's house this afternoon for lunch,” she said through gritted teeth. “She and Dinky like muffins, Pinkie. Not cupcakes, muffins. And I know their favorite is blueberry. So box up one dozen blueberry muffins!” she said, her voice rising with every word.

Carrot Cake's head popped out over the saloon doors, his lantern jaw covered with a fine layer of flour. “Everything all right?” he asked, eyes slightly wide.

Trixie glanced over and the corners of her mouth turned up in a forced grin. “Just fine, Mister Cake.” She looked back to Pinkie Pie and fixed a glare of death upon the pink pony. “Miss Pie was just about to box up one dozen muffins for me, right?”

Pinkie's head and neck drooped and she sighed. “Oh, all right!” She gripped the tray of muffins out with her teeth and slid a box over with a hoof, letting a dozen tumbled into it. She closed and tied it shut before plopping it onto the counter. “Fifteen bits for the bo-ring muffins.”

Trixie's cape fluttered as fifteen bits floated out of her saddlebags and over the counter. Pinkie jabbed at the till and the drawer popped open, allowing her to float the bits inside while also levitating the box of muffins up and to her side. “Thank you,” Trixie said before turning on a hoof and marching out.

It was a full two minutes of trotting away from Sugarcube Corner before Trixie slowed down to a slow gait. She breathed in, slowly letting the air out. She felt a few stares from others on the street, but paid them little mind, not wanting attention this time as she resumed her journey to the Ponyville post office.

It was nearly 11:30 when Trixie reached the post office, the two-story building that kept Ponyville in contact with the rest of Equestria. A few pegasi milled about the entrance, each one clad in the blue uniform of the Equestrian postal service. She quickly focused on one particular gray-coated pegasus, as she exited the building. “Ditzy!" she called out, waving a foreleg at her fellow Element of Harmony.

Ditzy's right eye slid over and locked onto Trixie and she turned, trotting over. “Hi!” she shouted. Her muzzle twitched and her nostrils flared as she approached. “Are those... muffins?” she asked, turning her head to focus one eye on the package floating next to Trixie. “Blueberry muffins?”

Trixie bit her lip, but a snort of laughter still escaped. She looked back to the post office, then to Ditzy and her empty saddlebags. “Your shift's over?” At Ditzy's nod Trixie arched an eyebrow and looked her over. “I'm not the most patient pony, but even I can wait for you to change out of your uniform.”

Ditzy shook her head. She hopped into the air and jabbed a foreleg in the general direction of the Everfree Forest. “Dinky's waiting for me,” she stated, landing and beginning to trot off.

Trixie nodded. “Of course, her job with Fluttershy.” She suddenly stopped and looked back at the post office and the apartment on the second floor. “Perhaps I should wait here for you two to come back...”

Ditzy placed a hoof on Trixie's shoulder and shook her head. “Dinky's been looking forward to this all week, and you wouldn't want to disappoint your number one fan, would you?” She leaned in and forced an eyelid close for a close approximation of a wink.

Trixie let out a sigh and placed a foreleg to her forehead before trotting off down a long, meandering side road that led from the post office to Fluttershy's cottage. “For her, of course. I just hope nothing...” Her voice trailed off and the package tilted, showing the top and the Sugarcube Corner logo on top. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Just that Pinkie Pie and gyah!” Trixie threw her hooves into the air. “Why is it every time I go in fate conspires to have her waiting on me?!”

Ditzy shrugged as they continued walking. “She means well, Trixie. And her parties can be fun!” At a sidelong glance from the unicorn, she scratched the back of her head. “Well, in small doses they can be fun.”

The pair continued in silence for a few minutes before Trixie spoke up. “I try, Ditzy. I swear I try, but no matter what she just pushes my buttons, and she makes about as much sense as Ivory Scroll's plans for Winter Wrap Up!”

Ditzy's mouth puckered slightly. “But the mayor didn't have any plans for – oh!” She shrugged. “Well, you don't see her every day, right?”

“And thank Luna for that,” Trixie muttered. She glanced up at the sky and shivered slightly as the sun reached its peak, her hat tugging down over her head as much as possible without obscuring her vision. “I shudder to think what my mind would be like if I had to understand her for something important or vital. Might as well just sit back and wait for the sky itself to fall if it ever came to that!” She chuckled, but her head suddenly shot up and she looked out at the bright expanse of blue. She held a hoof out and waved it about.

Ditzy stopped and looked back at her friend. “Sky still in place?” she asked, the slightest hint of sarcasm in her tone.

Trixie nodded and continued on, speeding up until she was once more by Ditzy's side. “Never hurts to be too careful.”

Chapter Two

My little pony, My little pony

Ahh ahh ahh ahhh...

My little pony

Friendship never meant that much to me

My little pony

But you're all here and now I can see

Stormy weather; Lots to share

A musical bond; With love and care

Teaching laughter; It's an easy feat,

And magic makes it all complete!

You have my little ponies

How'd I ever make so many true friends?

Dinky Doo hopped along the dirt path, bunnies in front of her and bunnies in back. The line came to an end in a small cluster near a tree stump, at the edge of the Everfree Forest. Fluttershy stood next to the tree stump, clipboard resting on top and a pen clasped in her mouth. A basket of apples was placed next to the stump, snacks for later and for now. She waggled it back and forth, marking the clipboard and nodding with each bunny joining the group.

It took several hops down the trail for Dinky to gather up all the bunnies, and her legs ached a bit even as she finished rounding up all the bunnies for the annual census. She walked over to the stump and sat down besides Fluttershy, stretching out her legs in front of her and waggling them.

Fluttershy looked down at Dinky for a moment before returning to her writing. The bunnies all hopped to and fro in the little clearing, but after a few minutes Fluttershy dropped the pencil onto the clipboard. She walked away from the stump and waggled a wing at the bunnies. “Thank you all for participating;” she said, smiling at the bunnies. “I hope to see you all next year!”

All but one of the bunnies hopped off, the remaining one instead walking up to Fluttershy's side. She looked down at him and extended a wing, patting him on the head. “Thank you very much, Angel,” she said, beaming. She looked to Dinky as the foal trotted over. “And thanks to you too, Dinky. The bunny census went off without a hitch!”

Dinky giggled as Angel bent low at the waist, sweeping a foreleg out in front of him. “It was fun, Miss Fluttershy!” She looked at the last of the bunnies hopping out of sight. “There were a lot of little babies.” She reached a foreleg up and scratched right below her ear. “Where do they all come from?”

Fluttershy's yellow coat turned a brilliant scarlet and her wings folded up, partially obscuring her head and face. “W-well I see it's a... bit...”

“When I'm older, right?”

Fluttershy merely nodded.

Hunger gnawed at it. Exhaustion dulled its senses. How long since it had eaten? A minute? Two? Ten? Tiny wings carried the little parasprite forth in a zigzag pattern through the air, darting to and fro as it left home and ventured into... daylight.

The sun hurt its eyes and it squinted. For a moment, the tiny bug almost flew back to home, but a sudden smell sent it hurtling along. Food, food food food! The thought repeated in its simple brain as it followed the scent. Eyes opened briefly, risking the sting of the sun for the sight of a large basket of apples. Within moments, it reached the basket. Jaws unhinged and it chomped out a large chunk of an apple, swallowing it whole.

Within a half-second the rest of the apple was gone. The parasprite cooed in relief as a warm feeling settled over it. Eyelids fully shut as exhaustion finally overtook it and the bright-red parasprite settled down into the basket, wings folding tight against itself as sleep finally overtook it.

Dinky's head shot around at the sound of a crunch from behind her. She looked around, but saw nothing more than the stump and the basket of apples. She looked to Fluttershy, but the pegasus had her wings folded up over her head. “Miss Fluttershy?” She held up a foreleg. “Are you all right?”

Fluttershy's wings moved slightly and she peered out, backing up a few steps. Dinky followed her gaze to the path leading to Ponyville. Voices wafted through the air as two indistinct shapes appeared, quickly resolving themselves into Ditzy and Trixie, the former floating a half-meter above the ground and the latter trotting along with a box floating beside her. “So I think Pokey is wanting to use my desk to sharpen his horn,” Trixie said, rolling her eyes. A muffin coated with hot sauce floated up to her mouth and she took a bite out of it.

Ditzy shrugged. “Better than your office window.”

“Momma, Miss Trixie!” Dinky cried out, galloping forward. “I helped Miss Fluttershy with the bunny census and helped Angel with his little house because he had a lot of trash inside it!” She skidded to a halt right in front of the two mares, leaving tiny furrows in the dirt from her hooves.

Ditzy floated down next to Dinky, wrapping her left wing around her daughter. Her left eye slid down and she smiled. “Did you have a good time helping Miss Fluttershy with her chores?”

Dinky nodded. “Yeah, yeah! All the bunnies were there and I hopped along with them and Angel was really nice to me!” She stood up on her hind legs, wrapping her forelegs around her Momma's neck.

Trixie grinned at the two, but it faded as she turned and saw Fluttershy with her wings over her head. Angel stood by her, forelegs crossed and his right foot tapping the ground. She rolled her eyes and stepped back. “I'll be over here,” she muttered, box of muffins trailing behind her as she trotted a few meters back.

Ditzy and Dinky walked up to Fluttershy. The yellow-coated pegasus slowly lowered her wings as they approached. “Sorry,” she whispered, voice barely carrying over the gentle breeze. “I-I know Trixie's not that bad, and she saved Equestria and all. I just...” Her cheeks turned scarlet once more and she seemed to shrink down into her own torso.

Ditzy smiled at her friend. “It's fine. So, did you and Dinky have a good day?”

Fluttershy's head peeked out a bit. “It was,” she said, a small smile beginning to form on her mouth. “The bunny census is all finished for another year. And Angel got his house cleaned out properly.” She turned and looked over her shoulder at the stump and basket of apples. “I have your payment and a basket of apples for you, for your extra hard work today.”

Dinky walked around to Fluttershy and her face scrunched in concentration. The basket wobbled a bit, but floated up and over, landing in front of Ditzy. Three silver coins on the clipboard also floated up, jangling while they were levitated to Ditzy's saddlebag and inside.

Ditzy patted her daughter on the head, smiling at the improvement her daughter had shown in levitation. “Good work, muffin.” She looked to Trixie, but her gaze went far down the path back to Ponyville, to the blue unicorn idling away with a box of muffins. One eye went to Fluttershy, the rest of Ditzy's head following. “Thanks, Fluttershy, but Trixie's over there and...” She trailed off as her fellow pegasus merely nodded. “Okay, have a good day and see you Monday.” She knelt down, grabbed the basket with her mouth and trotted off.

Dinky threw her forelegs around Fluttershy's neck. “See you next week!” she said before turning and trotting off to her mother's side. She paused, turned around and waved at Fluttershy, who raised a foreleg and waved back.

Ditzy and Dinky reached Trixie as the box floated up to her muzzle and the lid opened. “Thowwy,” Ditzy said, causing Trixie to jump a half-meter in the air and the box to jerk about in midair.

“I wasn't eating any muffins!” Trixie blurted out. Her head shot from Ditzy to the box, then to Dinky. Her face turned a brilliant scarlet as a leaf blew by in the wind. Her mouth turned up in a wide, forced smile. “So...”

Ditzy glanced at the box, still floating but a little higher in the air. “So?” she repeated, a sly grin on her muzzle.

Silence reigned between the two. Dinky looked from her mother to her magic teacher, then back. “Was the muffin good, Miss Trixie?” she finally asked, canting her head to the side.

Trixie's head shot over, her cape fluttering out behind her. The box suddenly floated down and two muffins were levitated out, one to Ditzy and one to Dinky. “It was a good muffin,” she finally said. She looked to Ditzy and the basket still clenched in her teeth. “I'll take that for you,” she said somewhat sheepishly, grabbing hold of the basket of apples with her magic and gently floating it out of her mouth. She looked to Fluttershy, then down the path that led to back to the Ponyville Post Office and the Doo's apartment above. “So, lunch?”

Ditzy merely smiled at Trixie before the three began trotting off back, the basket and box floating right behind them. She looked to Trixie as she ate her muffin, savoring each bite. “Ready for next week?” she asked. One eye drifted to Dinky. “I mean after what happened with-”

“I assure you, Dinky's safety at the show is foremost in my mind!” Trixie interrupted. She held up a hoof and some light coalesced around it. “It's just some simple sleight-of-hoof and illusions. Nothing else, Ditzy. You made sure of that when we talked about Dinky assisting me.” She looked down at the young unicorn. “Besides, if that happened, who else would be the Great and Powerful Trixie's assistant?” She stood up straight, gesticulating wildly with her forelegs. “Only the best can assist Trixie as she puts on the most amazing magic show ever seen by pony eyes!” She dropped back to all four hooves. “Besides, I've got too much else on my plate, with getting Carrot Top and the other farmers organized and other details for the Eventime Festival.” She rolled her eyes. “So much to do, so little time. For all his wanting to rip a hole in the fabric of the universe, Pokey really is great.” She suddenly eyed Ditzy and leaned in close. “Just don't tell him that, okay?”

Ditzy nodded. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” she recited. “I just hope everything gets all smoothed out in time.” One eye drifted up, in the direction of the sun blazing overhead. “You know...”

Trixie's mouth formed a thin line. “I know, and I assure you, Ditzy, barring something major, the Eventime Festival should go off without a hitch!” She tilted her head to the side. “I just doomed us, didn't I.”

Ditzy merely nodded, finishing off her muffin as the three continued walking back to Ponyville.

Chapter Three

“... Yes, he's got a grindstone in the office, now. If he wasn't the best secretary this side of Canterlot I'd-”

“Keep him because without him you'd drown in paperwork?”

Trixie kept her mouth shut as she opened the door to Ditzy's apartment and walked in. She dropped the box of muffins on the table in the kitchen and floated the basket of apples right next to it. She glanced at the box, then at the basket with its red and yellow apples in it. She walked over to the refrigerator, opened the door and peeked inside. “Got any salsa, Ditzy?”

Ditzy shrugged her uniform jacket off and placed it on a coat rack next to the door. “Second shelf, in the back.” She looked to Trixie, one eye focusing on the mare. “Getting a craving to 'experiment' again?”

Trixie stepped back from the fridge and shut it. She walked to the table, the half-full jar of salsa trailing her. “Some ponies simply can not appreciate my varied palette!” She looked to Ditzy and Dinky as they stared back. “Present company excepted, of course!” She looked back to the table, eyeing the basket. “Now, then. I wonder...” Her voice trailed off as she focused on the basket, or to be more precise, the apples within. “Ditzy, Dinky?”

Ditzy looked over at Trixie. “Yes?”

Trixie pointed at the basket. “This is the same basket of apples I carried from Fluttershy's cottage, correct?”

Dinky walked over to the table. She hopped up onto a chair and leaned in close. “I think so, Miss Trixie.” She twisted her head around a bit, eyes narrowing. “What about it?”

Ditzy walked over, one eye on Trixie and the other on the basket. Her left eye slowly moved from focusing on the unicorn to looking at the basket. She twitched slightly. “The apples, two of them are yellow.” Her left eye rotated back to Trixie, almost snapping back. “All the apples in the basket were red before.”

Trixie nodded. “Good eye-no offense.” She looked back to the basket. “No stems, wrong shape.” Her eyes widened. “I don't think these are apples anymore.”

The basket shuddered. Dinky edged closer, but was suddenly enveloped in a bubble of magic and floated off the chair. Ditzy slid over to stand in front of her daughter. Small wings suddenly sprouted from the round objects and large, shining eyes opened up. A 'cooing' sound emanated from the... things as all lifted off from the basket in a seemingly-rehearsed takeoff pattern. They spread out through the kitchen and living room, becoming a living cloud of cute.

Dinky gasped. She held up a hoof and one of the creatures landed on it. Two more rubbed against her mane, causing her to giggle. “Cute!” She looked to Ditzy. “Momma, can I keep one? Please?” She hopped around, flashing big, shiny eyes. “Please?”

Ditzy shook her head, but an entire squadron of the creatures hovered around her head. A pair of them landed on her left wing. She raised it around and eyed them with her left eye, the right focused squarely on Dinky. “I don't know...” She turned her head to Trixie. “Have you seen anything like these?”

Trixie's right eyebrow raised. She waved a foreleg around, batting away a few of them. “Never seen them before, not sure I want to see them again.” She raised the other foreleg as a few others swarmed around her. “Shoo, shoo!” She glanced at the basket. “Okay, so where did these all come from? Did they... spawn in the basket?” She stepped up to the basket once more. “Fluttershy wouldn't give us a basket of these things knowingly.” She looked to Ditzy. “Right?”

Ditzy's eyes rolled and she let loose with a sigh. “Right, Trixie. Fluttershy's nervous around you, not wanting to send a basket of... whatever these things are after you.” She gasped as a few of them slid their rather pliable bodies under the box of muffins. “Hey, get away from those!" She hopped up, flying over the table and grabbing at the box with her forelegs. “Get away from my muffins!”

The box's top flipped open from Ditzy's hooves and prodding from some of the creatures. Two of them dove at the muffins, their jaws distending and opening impossibly wide. Each one engulfed a muffin, swallowing them with a single gulp.

Ditzy looked to Trixie. “Little help, here?”

Trixie looked around. Her horn glowed and the creatures stopped in midair, held by fine telekinesis. “Okay, got them!” she announced, grinning. “Was there ever any-”

Several of the creatures scrunched up. They coughed a few times before hacking up globs of wet masses. The globs landed on the floor with wet plops. Wings quickly emerged from the rapidly-solidifying bodies and eyes opened up. Within seconds, the number of creatures doubled.

Trixie's jaw opened for a moment. Her cheeks turned green and she sucked in several deep breaths. “Oh, gross!” she exclaimed.

“So says the mare who likes Tabasco sauce and mayonnaise on her hay fries...”

Trixie snorted. “Hah, hah.” She looked back as several of the creatures flew to an open window. “Oh, no you don't!” She slammed it shut, rattling the entire pane. “Got you!” she declared, rising up on her hind legs and striking a pose.

Dinky looked to Trixie and gasped. “Miss Trixie, the door!” she shouted, jabbing a foreleg at it.

Trixie smirked and tossed her mane back over her head. The door, briefly forgotten about and left ajar, slammed shut. The deadbolt also locked. “Good eye, Dinky,” Trixie said, a large grin on her face. She looked about at all the creatures buzzing about in the room. “All right, now let's get a bag, keep them away from the food and-”

“Miss Trixie?”

Trixie paused, focusing once more on Dinky. “Yeah, Dinky?”

Dinky swallowed. “Some of the creatures were on the other side of the door.” She shrank down a bit. “Sorry, I should've said that, right?”

Trixie wheeled about on her back heels, her horn flaring with magic as she unbolted the door and flung it open... only to reveal empty space. She galloped through the door, head darting about. “Where are they? Which way did they go? Which way?!” She skidded to a halt at the top of the stairs leading down to the Ponyville post office. She looked back to see Ditzy flying about, batting at the creatures with her hooves. “Ditzy, some of those things escaped!”

Ditzy's head turned, lining her left eye up with Trixie. “I know,” she deadpanned. “I've got strabismus, not deafness.” She looked over as Dinky waved her forelegs in the air, batting at the flying balls of hunger. “Dinky, be careful!”

Trixie gasped as several of the things flew at her and the open door. She slammed it shut once more. “This is getting ridiculous!” She looked back to the stairs, then to the door. “Wait...” She groaned and stepped up to the door. “Ditzy?”

There was a sudden crash on the opposite side. “Get away from the pantry!” There was a pause before Ditzy spoke again. “Yeah?”

Trixie's head darted from the door to the stairs. “Ah... how is it in there?”

There was another crash, this one louder than before. “... fine, just-GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER, NOW!”

Trixie flung the door open, dashing in and closing it just before the closest creatures could go through. She looked around as the number of the little balls had somehow multiplied. “Wait, what the hay?” She looked at Ditzy as she hovered over Dinky, legs waving about and her eyes bright with an inner fire. “Where did all of these come from?”

The cabinet doors suddenly burst open and a small cloud of the creatures emerged. Trixie groaned and her horn flared with her magic. “Ditzy, I hate to say this, but I'm gonna need Dinky's help with these.”

Ditzy glanced to her daughter, then floated up a bit, close to the ceiling, one eye focused squarely on her Muffin. Dinky swallowed and screwed her eyes shut in concentration. Some of the creatures stopped in mid-flight, flying back against the beating of their tiny wings.

Trixie smiled at her student. “Okay, good.” She looked around. “Got any, I don't know, bags or something?” She let out a sigh. “Until we can get these things back to... wherever it is they came from, it's probably the best we can do.” She winced as a lamp was knocked over, falling to the floor and breaking apart.

Ditzy jabbed a foreleg at a small pile of shopping bags on top of a counter. “What about the ones that flew out of the door?” she asked, drifting to the window and looking out. “They could be anywhere!”

Trixie grunted as she floated the bags up. “Okay, Dinky, right into the bags!” She looked to Ditzy. “One of us has to go after them, at least to warn Ponyville.” Several of the creatures were telekinetically tossed into a bag. “And I hate to say this, but you can cover more ground than I.”

One eye focused on Dinky, the other on Trixie. “My daughter...”

“I swear I'll keep her safe,” Trixie said, a slight edge to her voice. She glanced to the door and a few of the things hovering near it. A few of them landed on the doorknob. “Is it just me, or are they getting smarter?”

Ditzy flew over to the door, waving her legs at them and driving them back. They hovered just out of reach of her hooves, some darting in and out. “Trixie, how fast can you open the door?”

The unicorn grunted as a fine sheen of sweat appeared on her forehead, right below her horn. “Piece of cake,” she muttered. She turned around and focused fully on Ditzy and the door. “I'll count down, okay?” At Ditzy's nod, she began. “Three, two, one... go!” she shouted, unlocking the deadbolt and wrenching the door open.

Ditzy shot past the doorjamb, a few of the creatures trying to follow but Trixie slammed the door in their tiny faces. Ditzy glanced down the stairs for a moment before flying down, emerging into the backroom of the post office–and into another small cloud of them. “Oh, no!” She saw Silver Script at the counter, bat clutched in his muzzle and swinging wildly. “Silver Script, are you all right?”

Silver Script flapped his wings and his eyes bulged out. He swung at a group of them, hitting some and sending them careening into a wall. “No idea!” he spat out. “A few floated down and they seemed cute, then they ate my lunch and hocked up more of them!” His wings buzzed, creating a small updraft that dispersed the cloud. “Shoo, shoo!”

Ditzy growled and flew at the creatures, stopping a couple of meters above Silver Script. “Did any get out of here?” she asked, batting at the balls. She turned her head, her entire body following through with the motion. “Any more food in here?”

Silver Script shook his head, the bat knocking a few of the things away. “Yes, and no.” He thrust a wing at the door. “A few got out before I closed the-DIE!” His face scrunched up and the bat quivered in his mouth. “Why,” swish “won't,” swing “you stand still?! Or... hover still?”

Ditzy swallowed. “Okay, thanks!” She flew at the door, making sure nothing else was near before throwing it open, dashing out and slamming it shut. She looked around, her head, ears and eyes all swiveling independently and quickly taking in the entire street. She flew along, wings taking in every air current, senses alert for the things. There were a number of ponies on the street, and debate flared inside Ditzy. Do I shout out what's going on? I-oh, no, Roseluck and Daisy! Those two would be sure to cause a stampede and-

“Ugh, a parasprite? Now I have to go get a banjo!”

Ditzy's eyes locked onto the voice she heard. She ignored the sudden pain lancing through her skull as she saw Pinkie Pie and one of the things-no, parasprites-hovering right above her head. The pink pony's face twisted in disgust before she galloped off.

Ditzy gasped. Her wings were a blur as she shot off after Pinkie Pie. She knows what they are, and wants a... banjo? She slowed down as Pinkie turned into an alley. “Pinkie, wait!” she cried out, making a sharp turn into the alley's mouth. She threw out her legs and skidded to a halt, turning upside down and backwards in midair Ditzy grunted, kicking and righting herself. “Pinkie, what are-” She stopped talking as she beheld the empty alley. She flew up to each garbage can, each crate and even a piece of paper, examining each one. “Pinkie? Pinkie?” She looked around, a slight feeling of vertigo washing over her from one too many turns and her eyes going straight one too many times. She closed her eyes for a minute before reopening them, hoping against hope that she wouldn't be alone in the alley, and having them dashed against the Canternine Ridge as she was alone.

The pegasus looked around once more before flying back to the street. There were a few more parasprites in the air, and the ponies on the street had begun noticing them in earnest. “Okay,” she mumbled to herself. “All I have to do is find Pinkie in Ponyville before-” She stopped as a parasprite coughed up another of its kind, startling Daisy into rearing back and nickering. “Oh, horse apples.”

Chapter Four

Ditzy shot into the air, turning about in a slow arc, not even bothering to try to get her eyes under control. She searched for any telltale sign of pink, finding some but not the right shade in the mane, tail or coat. “Oh, this is getting me nowhere!” she cried out, throwing her forelegs up in frustration.

After another minute, Ditzy floated down, landing on the street. She galloped over to Daisy as the skittish mare was stumbling away from a parasprite. “Daisy!” she cried out. “Daisy, wait I-” She stopped as Daisy turned and galloped off at full speed, turning in a sharp arc and going back around the street. She looked over her shoulder at the parasprite, only for it to cough up another one of its kind right onto her muzzle.

Ditzy stood there as the newborn parasprite sprouted wings, detached itself from her face and flew off, cooing. “You are so lucky I'm the Element of Kindness right now.” She spun around so her body faced the general direction of her sight. She took a deep breath before shouting, “Attention everypony!” at the top of her lungs. She spread her wings and hopped up, hovering a few meters on the ground. She scrunched her muzzle up and focused, projecting all of her 'mom voice' into it. “Attention, everypony!” she yelled.

There was momentary glee as all those on the street stopped and turned to her. Ditzy quickly snapped back to the matter at hoof. “I need help finding Pinkie Pie.” A trio of parasprites flew by her, one eye trailing after them. “She seems to know something about these things, like their name. And she wants a banjo!”

Coconut spoke up. “Dudette, you are totally harshing our buzzes!” He held up a hoof and waved it about at a half-dozen of the little blobs hovering around his head, another half-dozen hovering around his back and his lunch balanced there. “They don't seem too bad to me, and they're so adorable!” One of the parasprites landed on his upturned toe and he grinned. “Aww, you're so, like, adorable!”

Three of the parasprites suddenly dove, flying under the plate and upending it, tossing a lilac sandwich and carton of hay fries into the air. Before Coconut could do anything, the whole dozen of them converged on his lunch, ripping the sandwich apart and eating the hay fries. Within a minute, their number doubled, each one shooting off in a different direction.

Ditzy flew over to Coconut. “See?” She spun around, locking an eye with each of the ponies on the street. “We need to spread out and find Pinkie Pie as soon as possible!”

Daisy held a foreleg to her forehead. “We're doomed!' she cried out, keeling back and landing on her back, legs sticking straight into the air. Within seconds, Coconut cantered back, nickering and whinnying before spinning around into a full-fledged gallop. Others soon galloped off, adding their screams and the sounds of their hooves to a cacophony of chaos.

Ditzy floated there as the ponies scattered, the parasprites tossed about in their wake. One eye focused squarely on Daisy as she lay there, face a rictus of terror. “You are so lucky I'm the Element of Kindness.” Motion caught one eye and she looked up as a yellow-coated pegasus with an electric-blue mane descended. A sigh of relief escaped her as she slowly descended, head whipping about. “Raindrops!” she cried out. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you!”

Raindrops kicked her forelegs out, touching down. She looked around at the parasprites and the panicking population. “What the hay is going on?” She looked to Ditzy, but her gaze was drawn by the parasprites buzzing about her head. “And what the hay are these?” she asked, waving a foreleg about at them.

Ditzy sucked in a breath. “They're called parasprites. They eat food, spit up more of them and they eat more food along with the original ones. I think they're from the Everfree Forest and...” Her voice trailed off. “Oh, sweet Luna!” She reached out and grabbed Raindrops by the shoulders, shaking her about. “Dinky and Trixie are still back at the post office!”

Raindrops' eyes swam about from Ditzy's shaking. She grunted before shrugging her off. “Ditzy, Ditzy!” she shouted. She leaned in, eyebrows narrowing. “Get a hold of yourself, Ditzy. No amount of panic is gonna help.” The pegasus waited for her friend to calm down. “Okay, now they're parasprites? What else?” She pointed up at the sky. “I heard you shouting about Pinkie Pie. What's she got to do with these things?”

“She knows their names,” Ditzy replied. “She acted with disgust at them and headed off to get a banjo.” She held up a foreleg. “And no, I have no clue why she wants a banjo. Just that she does and galloped down an alley and disappeared.” She looked behind her shoulder, spinning around in midair. “Oh, my muffin...” She stopped and looked to Raindrops. “She, Trixie and Silver Script are back at the post office.” Her breathing increased slightly. “I trust Trixie and Silver Script is the best boss I could have, but those things eat and puke up more of them and most of my cupboards are bare and I just don't know what'll go wrong next!” She landed on the ground, eyes glittering, chest and barrel heaving.

A pair of strong forelegs wrapped around Ditzy, squeezing her gently. “Don't worry,” Raindrops said. “It'll be all right. We'll get rid of these things. And I may rag on Trixie, but when the chips are down she'll pull through” She let go and locked onto one of Ditzy's eyes. “Now... you're sure about Pinkie? Seems pretty random, even for her. A banjo?" She let out a nervous chuckle. "Maybe she wants to throw a parade for them."

Ditzy's right and left eyes both wandered a bit, her left eye finally locking onto Raindrops. "Like I said, she knows their name, Raindrops. And she didn't have a look of welcome on her muzzle." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I can feel it. She's the key to getting rid of them." A rueful smile crossed her muzzle. "And I know what it's like to be ignored like that."

Raindrops' throat bobbed a bit. "Okay, good points." She threw her forelegs up. "Not like I've got a better idea." She looked around at the panicking populace, then at Daisy as she lay there. “Lemme guess, she did her thing and everypony else went nuts?”

“How'd you know?”

A bark of laughter escaped Raindrops. “Lucky guess.” She looked around. “Okay, so Pinkie's looking for musical instruments. What's the best source for them?” She suddenly spread her wings out and shook her body, sending several parasprites flying off. “Shoo!”

Ditzy rubbed her chin before striking a hoof against the dirt. “Lyra and Bonbon's apartment!” she cried out. “Lyra's got a number of instruments, and I bet she'll be the first place Pinkie hits!” She spread her wings and hopped into the air, but paused for a second. “Wait, shouldn't we get more ponies involved in this? Maybe we should tell Mayor Scroll about this.”

Raindrops cocked her head to the side. “Why? So she can give some dumb speech and do nothing else?”

There was silence from Ditzy before her head drooped. “Okay, okay. But what about Cheerilee or Carrot Top? Or anypony else?” The street was quieter, with the occasional pony about, parasprites swarming about and Daisy still on the ground. Several homes and businesses had been locked up, windows and doors closed, some barred with impromptu barriers.

Raindrops shook her head. “Speed's of the essence right now, Ditzy.” She jumped into the air and spun around. “I'll head for Bonbon and Lyra's apartment over the Confectionarium. Pinkie's bound to show up there. You circle around and keep both eyes peeled for her.” And with that, she shot off into the air and down the street, turning at the nearest intersection.

Ditzy spared a glance back, her mind flying towards the post office, her best friend and her daughter. “I hope she's all right...” she mumbled before flying off, one eye pointing left and the other right.

The parasprites struggled against the telekinetic field surrounding them, but they were slowly forced down into a large mail bag. The buzzing of their wings created a palpable breeze, but it merely stirred Trixie's mane as she stood over them, her horn glowing brightly. The mouth of the bag closed and a length of string tied itself around in a knot. The entire squirming mass floated over, joining two others on the floor of the post office.

Trixie's legs wobbled, but she kept herself upright. “Okay, piece of cake.” She looked to Dinky, standing by her side. “Dinky, thanks.” She reached out and mussed Dinky's sweat-soaked mane. “Couldn't have done it without you.” A grunt from behind caught her attention. “Nor without you, Silver Script,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Silver Script trotted up besides the two unicorns. His baseball bat was gripped in his muzzle, the bat slick with squashed parasprites. He spat it out onto the wooden floor and glared at the three bags. “Thanks, Trixie.” He gestured to the bags. “So, what do we do with them?”

Trixie shrugged, wobbling slightly. “I'll figure that out once we've gotten the rest of them out of Ponyville.” She looked to the door. “Hopefully Ditzy has a handle on the situation.” She moved forward, but stopped as Dinky moved with her. “Kiddo?”

Dinky looked up at Trixie, her lower lip jutting out. “You need help, Miss Trixie, and Momma needs help too. So I'm gonna help!”

Trixie's eyes shifted back and forth. She looked to Silver Script, then back to Dinky with a grin pasted on her face. “Oh, but Silver Script needs your help, my assistant!” She rose to her hind legs, her cape fluttering out behind her. “Only the greatest and most powerful assistants can help him sweep the post office for any of the little buggers we missed!”

Dinky's eyes grew twice their size. “Really?”

Trixie looked to Silver Script and waved a foreleg around in a circle. “Really. Right, Silver Script?”

Silver Script's eyebrows furrowed. He waved a wing at Trixie, motioning to the service counter with his head. He turned and walked back around the counter. He waited for Trixie to join him before speaking. “Okay, what gives?”

Trixie sighed. “I am telling the truth, Silver.” She rolled her head around, her eyes darting about. “I'm not sure we got all these little buggers, so a more thorough sweep would be good.” She let out a breath and kicked at the floor. “And... I just don't want Dinky out there in this mess.”

Silver Script's muzzle twitched. “I thought you liked her.”

Trixie's eyes wandered back to the foal who stood by the door. “I do. That's why I don't want her to go with me. See her mane?” At Silver Script's nod she continued. “She's already pushed herself hard with these things. I don't want her going over the edge and overchanneling at so young an age.”

Silver Script looked Trixie over. “And you're much better?” he said, snorting.

Trixie nodded. “I am.” She smirked. “Element of Magic, personal student of Princess Luna and an adult with a lot of years of training.” The smirk vanished from her face. “And on the extremely low chance that anything happened to her while helping me, not only would Ditzy never forgive myself, I would never forgive myself.”

Silver Script nodded. He reached out with a wing and patted Trixie on her shoulder. “You know, you may be a jerk sometimes - okay, a lot of times - but you're all right the other times, Trixie.” He hopped back over the counter. “Okay, Dinky. Let's do one more look around the place while Trixie goes off to help your mother, all right?” He shepherded Dinky away from the door and to the stairs leading to the Doo's apartment.

Dinky stopped and looked to Trixie. “You'll be all right, Miss Trixie?”

Trixie nodded to the young unicorn. “Ditzy has my back, so I will be. And thanks for your help, both of you.” She turned, her cape swirling about. “Now stand back as the Great and powerful Trixie goes forth to vanquish the swarm!” She opened the door and galloped out, slamming it shut behind.

Chapter Five

Ditzy flew through the skies of Ponyville once more, again on the trail of Pinkie Pie. Both eyes wandered about in her quest for the earth pony. “Searching for Pinkie Pie to deal with parasprites,” she muttered. “Learning what parasprites are and trying to head off a completely unpredictable pony who is more random than weather over the Everfree and more complex than hoofball statistics. I am so bucked.” She shook her head and narrowed her eyes. “No, I must find her.” She thrust a foreleg into the air. “I will find her!”

She looked down, catching sight of Trixie as she galloped into the town square. Ditzy dove towards her friend, one eye on Trixie and the other eye trying – and failing – to see Dinky. “Trixie!” she called out. “Where's Dinky?” she asked, landing on the ground and trotting to a halt.

Trixie sucked in a breath, holding it before blowing it out of the side of her muzzle. “She's back in the post office with Silver Script.” A shaky smile formed on her mouth. “She did good helping me out with those damned things. We got them all rounded up into mail bags for... later.” Her eyes drifted about at the clumps of parasprites flying about. “Oh, this is beyond not good,” she muttered.

Ditzy threw her forelegs around Trixie's neck, pulling her in for an Ursa hug. “Oh, she's all right?” she cried out. “Oh, thank you, Trixie. I was so worried about her!” She leaned back and kissed Trixie on the cheek. “Thank you so much!”

Trixie's cheeks turned a bright, deep red. She craned her neck away, eventually wriggling out of Ditzy's embrace. “Yeah... no problem.” She grunted. “Ditzy... please let go.” She waited for the pegasus to drop her forelegs back to the ground before speaking again. “Okay, so the bugs back at the post office are all tied up, but now we've got all these to deal with.” She shook her head. “And I'm already exhausted from earlier.”

Ditzy bit her lip. “Trixie, I've got an idea about that. I think there's somepony who knows how to stop these things.” She leaned forward. “She knows their names and reacted with utter disgust at their mere presence!” Her head bobbed up and down, a grin forming on her face.

Trixie cocked an eyebrow. “And... what's the catch?” She waved a foreleg at Ditzy. “Come on, Ditzy. I can tell you're holding something back.”

Ditzy's head drooped. “Promise me you'll give me the benefit of the doubt? That you won't simply dismiss what I have to say out of hoof?”

There was a slight pause before the unicorn nodded. “For you, Ditzy, of course I will.” Trixie glanced around at the various parasprites. “Not like I've got a better idea at the moment.”

Ditzy let out a sigh of relief. She hopped into the air, turned and flew off, Trixie following behind. “Oh, thank you, Trixie!” Her head turned back and forth. “We've got to find Pinkie Pie. I know she's – WHOA!” Ditzy let out a shout as she was telekinetically swung around to come muzzle-to-muzzle with Trixie. “Hey, come on!” she said, flailing her legs about. “Trixie, you promised!”

Trixie's right eye twitched. “Ditzy, it's Pinkie Pie.” She waved a hoof around and rolled her eyes. “Okay, so she knows their names. What if that's all she knows about them, Ditzy? She's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, to be blunt.”

Ditzy's eyes rolled about. “Trixie, come on! We don't have time to waste.” She flailed about in the telekinetic field holding her. “And please let me go.” At that, the field dissipated and she touched down on the ground. “Trixie, you're breaking your promise,” she said, hanging her head and kicking at the dirt. “You didn't even give me a chance to explain!”

Trixie's eyes slowly shut. “Okay, you're right. I'm sorry, Ditzy.” She reached out and patted her friend on the shoulder. “Just... make it quick?”

The pegasi's head cocked to the side. “So lucky...” She let out a breath. “I saw Pinkie Pie standing in the town square, with a bunch of parasprites – that's their name – floating about. They weren't eating anything at the time, but she still reacted with utter disgust and trotted off.” She raised her head and leaned in close to Trixie, causing the unicorn to back up slightly. “She wanted a banjo, Trixie. I'm not sure why, but she was in a big hurry to get one!”

A snort escaped Trixie. “Considering what Silver Script was doing to some of them back at the post office, she might not be planning to serenade them.” She focused on Ditzy. “Okay, she knows their names, reacted like she's seen them before and wants a banjo. That is... random, even for her.” She held up a foreleg just as Ditzy's mouth opened. “I'm not dismissing anything you said, just laying it all out!”

Ditzy sighed. “Well, I don't have any other ideas than find Pinkie Pie and ask what the hay's going on.” She unfurled her wings and shook her entire body as a cloud of parasprites flew about. “And where did these come from?” She hopped about. “Shoo, shoo!”

Trixie's horn glowed once more. The clouds of the vermin were pushed back, but only for a moment. She groaned, her head dropping slightly. “No way we can get rid of all of them,” she confessed. “If we miss one of them, it'll just hock up more!” She trotted around Ditzy, head bobbing back and forth. “I just hope Pinkie Pie knows what she's doing and isn't planning a concert.” She looked back to Ditzy, a gleam in her eye. “That's Lyra's job!”

Trixie plodded up to a two-story building situated near the Ponyville Public Library, Ditzy barely hovering beside her. Trixie looked up and down Bonbon's Confectionarium, the awning over the closed and locked entrance, the two windows shut and the curtains drawn behind them. “Okay, no sign... of... Pinkie Pie around Ponyville... so where... is she?” she gasped out. She wiped her sweat-soaked brow. “Two hours of searching, and not one trace of a pink mane anywhere?!”

Ditzy landed next to Trixie. “Not a clue. Maybe she found her banjo?”

Trixie looked about as a group of parasprites dove for an unclosed window, funneling through it and into a flower shop. “If she did, she didn't do anything with it!” A sudden slam from above caught her attention. She looked up just as one of the windows opened and Raindrops tumbled out. “What the feather?!”

Raindrops tumbled head over hooves, finally spreading her wings out and slowing to a stop. She righted herself and stared at the window, snorting. Her shoulders heaved and her legs curled up, tensing.

Trixie hopped up onto her hind legs, waving her forelegs in the air. “Raindrops!” she shouted, waiting for the pegasus to look down at her and Ditzy. “Pinkie Pie in there, I assume?”

Raindrops looked down at Trixie and Ditzy. “She just... was there!” She jabbed a foreleg at the window. “Lyra and Bonbon closed up the shop and locked every door, but she was just... there!” She ground her teeth together. “I'm not sure how much I can take, Trixie. She's not listening to anypony and I think Bonbon's about ready to kill her!” She paused. “How's Dinky?”

Ditzy spoke up. “She's fine!”

Raindrops let out a breath. “Good to – Get away from the window!” she shouted as a dozen parasprites made a beeline for the still-open window. “Ditzy, get Trixie up here!” she called out as she flew about the small swarm, pushing them back with carefully-applied gusts of wind from her wings.

Ditzy tossed Raindrops a salute before flying up. She hooked her forelegs under Trixie's shoulder joint and lifted off, her wings beating rapidly. She let out a grunt as she approached the windowsill. She flew through, placing Trixie on a the carpeted floor of Lyra and Bonbon's bedroom. Raindrops flew in, the window slamming shut behind her. Trixie's eyes shifted back and forth as she quickly took stock of the situation.

Pinkie Pie was standing on a princess-sized bed, one lyre balanced on her withers and another clutched in her mouth. Lyra and Bonbon flanked the bed, the former pawing at the carpet and the latter standing stock-still with a rather blank expression on her face. “Pinkie Pie,” Bonbons slowly said, her words drawn out, “if you give us back Lyra's lyres, I promise I'll only break one of your legs. And you even get to choose which one!” Her muzzle widened as she smiled, her eyes glittering. “Come on, you don't need one of your hind legs to bake, do you?”

Pinkie Pie backed up a bit before leaping straight up, somersaulting in midair before landing on Bonbon's head. Before Bonbon could react, Pinkie Pie was in the air again, bouncing through the room. Raindrops swiped at her with her forelegs, but Pinkie's body contorted, somehow slipping through Raindrops' grasp while keeping the lyre balanced on her back stable and the one in her mouth still gripped tightly by her teeth. She landed, hopping up and spinning around even as Lyra and Bonbon jumped at her. She ducked underneath Lyra and sidestepped Bonbon, backing up but stopping as she bumped her dock and tail into a corner. Her eyes widened slightly as Raindrops, Bonbon and Lyra cornered her in the corner, but she shook her head. “Mhh, mhh!”

Trixie's lips curled back. “All right, that's it!” She trotted forward, past Lyra and Bonbon until she came muzzle-to-muzzle with Pinkie Pie. “We've got swarms of big eaters out there straight out of Dream Valley. Beyond marshaling every unicorn in the tri-city area and beyond we've got no reliable way of getting rid of these things beyond Princess Luna herself. And the Eventime Festival is next week, with my big performance.” She jabbed a foreleg at the lyre. “You know what these things are. You know their names, and Ditzy thinks you know how to get rid of them.” She cantered to the side and waved back at the window. “So unless you'd like Ponyville croup deep in parasprites, start talking!”

Pinkie Pie's head bobbed up and down. She began speaking – with the lyre still gripped in her mouth. She hopped up onto her hind legs, waving her forelegs about. Her eyes bulged and she trotted in place before dropping back to all fours, panting slightly.

Trixie blinked. She bit her lip and wobbled slightly. “I give up,” she muttered.

Ditzy's mouth twisted, her cheeks puckering. She trotted over to Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, please. You know something about these things. We need to know it, too. Why do you need the instruments? What do they have to do with the parasprites?”

Pinkie finally spat out the lyre. Lyra gasped and her horn glowed as she snagged it, levitating it away. “Hey!” Lyra cried out.

Pinkie Pie tilted her head down, looking at Ditzy down her nose. “I don't have time to tell you, Ditzy. “She shook her head, her mane whipping back and forth like a cloud of cotton candy.” I don't have time for any of this! I need to get going and-”

“No,” Trixie stated. “You need to tell us what's going on!” She stomped on the floor, then looked down. “And this needs to be hardwood for dramatic effect!”

Everypony slowly looked to her, silence descending upon the room. “Well, it's true,” she mumbled. Trixie rolled her eyes. “Anyway, the point is you need to tell us why you need musical instruments.” She leaned forward, cocking her head to the side and wiggling one of her ears. “Well, come on!”

Pinkie Pie stared at her for a second. “What? Listen to me? But... nopony here listens to me!” She looked around at their stares. “Well, you don't. I talk, but you bob your heads and say 'that's nice,' or simply walk off.”

Trixie stared at her, right eye twitching. “B-but... half the time you're just spouting nonsense about parties or inane streams of babbling that loop back on themselves like a mobius strip!” She ground her teeth together. “It's always about parties and cake and you foist cupcakes onto me, calling muffins boring and other horse apples.” She shrugged her shoulders, causing her cape to flutter about. “Don't you dare try to turn this back on us, you party addict! Now spill on those instruments, now!”

Raindrops looked down, focusing on Trixie. “Little harsh?” She held up a hoof as Trixie looked up, her hat tilting back so she could look the pegasus in the eyes. “Well, you're right, but you could've gone a bit easier on her.” She motioned to Pinkie Pie.

The pink earth pony had fallen back on her haunches. “You-you don't think I listen to you? But if I didn't listen, how would I know when to throw you parties or where you'd be when the parties go off? Or when you're buying boring old muffins instead of cool cupcakes? If I didn't listen, I'd never know you were getting boring muffins!”

Trixie bit her lip. She finally sucked in a breath. “Pinkie Pie, sometimes we don't need or even want parties thrown for us. You may hear us, but you don't listen to us. You throw parties and bounce through them with nary a care if the 'guest of honor' is happy or not to even be there.” She held up a hoof as Pinkie Pie's mouth opened. “Okay, maybe you really want everypony to be happy. In and of itself, that's good. But you never find out what it takes to make us happy, or even if we want cheering up in the first place.”

Raindrops crossed her forelegs and smiled. “Pretty good, Trixie.”

Trixie glanced up, nodding. “Thanks.” She looked back to Pinkie Pie. “Okay, I'm gonna take a big step here, Pinkie. I'm gonna listen to you. Okay? But please remember about the parasprites outside, out of control.” She waved a hoof in the air. “So we're listening to you. Go on.”

Pinkie's eyes darted around. “I... lived on a rock farm when I was a filly, farming gems and other precious metals. We also grew crops for our own, but that meant we didn't go into town often for much of anything.” She looked to the floor, a hoof tracing a circle in the carpet. “One of the things we had to worry about were parasprites, since they'd eat all the food. The only way to drive them off was a tune Granny Pie taught to us. If they heard it, they'd follow it away from the farm.” She waved at the lyre next to Lyra. “That's why I need all the instruments. I... figured it'd be easier to simply get them and play the tune and lure them away.” She looked around. “I'm sorry, everypony. Especially you, Lyra.”

Lyra waved her off. “No hard feelings, Pinkie.” She glanced to her left and Trixie. “Okay, I've got a spare harmonica and cello, but beyond that it's all I've got.” She looked to Pinkie. “Will it be enough? And can you hum the tune?” A crazy grin crossed her mouth. “I'm listening.”

Pinkie rocketed to her hooves. “A few more ought to do it!” She trotted forth. “And I've got a record of it in my apartment above Sugarcube Corner.”

Trixie nodded. “Okay, good.” She waved a foreleg around, pointing at everyone in the room. “Raindrops, fly to Blues' music store and ask him for some instruments. Lyra, go to Sugarcube Corner and listen to that tune. Ditzy, you fly to the post office and tell Silver Script and Dinky to move the mail bags of parasprites outside and be ready to open them when the parade goes by. Any questions?”

Bonbon raised a hoof. “Yeah. Who put you in charge?”

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Do you have a better idea?"

Bonbon shrugged. "Sorry," she muttered, pawing at the carpet. "Just trying to lighten the mood."

Raindrops snorted. “We forgive you this time, Bonbon.” She flew to the window. “Ditzy, ready?”

Trixie, Lyra, Bonbon and Pinkie Pie trotted out of the bedroom and down the stairs as Ditzy flew to the window. Raindrops placed a hoof against the center seam separating the two halves. “Okay, on three... one, two three!” She pushed against the window and it opened. Ditzy and Raindrops flew out, the former flitting about at any passing parasprites while Raindrops shut the window. “See you at the post office,” Raindrops called out as she turned, angling for as straight a path as possible to Blue's store.

“Wait,” Ditzy called out. She waited for Raindrops to look to her. “Thanks for listening to me,” she said, smiling. “And it seems you were right.” At her friend's confused expression, she chuckled. “It seems Pinkie did want to throw a parade after all!”

Trixie paused as she approached the front door of the Confectionarium. “What the buck is that?” she said, cocking her head to the side. “It almost sounds like... laughter?” She shrugged. “Nah.”

Epilogue

Trixie, Ditzy, Dinky, Raindrops, Silver Script and Bonbon watched as Pinkie Pie, Lyra and Blues Noteworthy led a parade of parasprites past the post office and down to the Everfree Forest. Pinkie and Blues had a harness strapped to their backs with about a half-dozen instruments attached, while over twenty instruments floated around Lyra. The six observers bobbed their heads or stomped their hooves to the beat as they went past.

Trixie looked down the road back to Ponyville. “I think they got all the little pests,” she said. “We'll have to do a few more sweeps with the band, but we should be all right. Keep your pads crossed.” She looked to Silver Script. “I'll make sure to mention you in my report to Princess Luna.” A smile crossed her mouth. “Thanks.” She looked to everyone there. “Could have been a lot worse without everyone's help.”

Ditzy looked back at the post office and up at the her apartment. “They ate almost all the food,” she said, one eye drifting down to Dinky.

Dinky drew herself up. “I'm not hungry, Mommy!” she declared. Her stomach rumbled and she slumped down. “Honest, not hungry at all...” She patted her barrel. “Really not hungry...”

Trixie spoke up. “You can raid the contents of my fridge to your heart's desire, Ditzy. As far as I know, the Residency was locked up during this.” She shrugged as everyone there looked to her. “It's Pokey's day off. Said something about a diamond-tipped file he was eyeing.” She shook her head. “I guess it makes sense.”

Bonbon spoke up. “The Confectionarium was shut up before any of them got inside, so I can definitely lend you some food, Ditzy. Take what you need.”

Ditzy's mouth wavered slightly. She wiped her eyes with her foreleg. “Thank you. I swear I'll pay you both back for this.”

Trixie snorted and waved her off. “Dinky's help earlier was enough.” She looked down at the filly and nodded. “Good job, kiddo.” Her gaze drifted up and down the road to Ponyville proper. “Now I gotta figure out how much damage was caused by those little pests. How much food was eaten, property damage...” She let out a sigh. “So much paperwork. So little time.”

Silver Script glanced to his right and a small pile of empty mail bags. “Well, you can start with 'three new mail sacks'. No way in Tartarus I'm reusing those. The post office itself's fine, though. Maybe some heavy-duty cleaner for the walls and floor in some spots.”

Trixie shuddered slightly. “Top of the list, Silver Script.” She rubbed her chin. “Come to think of it, most of the food eaten was probably from the open-air stalls and personal food.” She shook her head. “I might have barely enough time to get ready for the Eventime Festival.”

Dinky's left foreleg shot up. “Oh, oh! I'll help, Miss Trixie!” She looked to Ditzy. “Can I help, Momma? Please?”

Ditzy patted her daughter on her back and withers. “After school is finished and your homework done, you can.” She looked to Trixie. “Just make sure she's home at a reasonable hour. She's still a growing filly.”

Raindrops watched the last of the parasprites disappeared down the road, her head bobbing up and down. “Gotta hoof it to you, Trixie. This could've turned out a lot worse than it did.”

Trixie turned and bowed deeply to her. “Why thank you, my dear Raindrops!” She reared up, tossing her forelegs back and letting her cape flutter about. “Was there ever any doubt?” She dropped back to all fours and held up a hoof. “And you know I'm joking!”

Raindrops bobbed her head a bit. “I know, just so long as you know, then fine.”

Trixie let out a small sigh. “Well, I'm heading back to the Residency. Much as I'm loathe to, I have to get started on the paperwork as soon as possible.” She looked to Ditzy and jabbed a foreleg at her. “I expect to see you there within the hour and with a lunch pail. I have plenty of kumquats and Tabasco sauce.” And with that, she trotted off.

The next morning had been rather hectic for Trixie, running around with a clipboard, quill and inkwell floating about as she interviewed various ponies about yesterday. Most of the debris from yesterday had either been cleaned up or was in the process of being taken care of.

Towards noon, Trixie made her way to Sugarcube Corner. She entered, finding Pinkie Pie behind the counter and finishing up a sale. Pinkie's head shot up at the jangling of the bell above the door. “Oh, hi,” she said, waving at Trixie. She glanced to the door leading to the back. “Do you need help with anything? I can get one of the Cakes' if you want.”

Trixie approached the counter, waving her off. “Not necessary,” she said. She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out before continuing. “I just want to say thanks for yesterday, for talking to us instead of over us.” She glanced away, looking at a tabletop with platters of wrapped cookies on them. “Although I guess the horseshoe can be on the other hoof when we don't listen to you and brush you off. I'm sorry about that, and I'll try to listen to you from now on.”

Pinkie stood at the counter for a moment before walking around right up to Trixie. “Thanks, Trixie. I'll try to listen to others instead of talking right over them, or talking over them, or brushing them off entirely.” She sighed. “Back at the rock farm, I didn't have anypony to talk to beyond Mom, Dad and my sisters. And they weren't exactly chatty. So out in the fields sometimes I'd just... talk. To nopony in particular.”

Trixie pursed her lips. “That explains... a lot, actually.”

The bell jingled again and some ponies walked in. Pinkie's ears perked up and she looked over. “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!” She looked back to Trixie. “Back to work.” Her eyes widened slightly. “But I'm off at five o'clock. Can we get together then? To... talk?”

Trixie stepped back from the counter, allowing the others to step up to it. “And to listen,” she said, bowing her head and leaving.

An earth pony walked up to the gates of the Residency, towing a small wagon laden with tools and raw materials. He stopped at the entrance, cocking his head to the side.

The door opened and Pokey Pierce's head popped out. He looked to the earth pony. “Sorry, Windowpane. Everything's all right here.” He glanced to the side as Windowpane turned and walked off. “Well, can't break 'em all.”

*Drumbeat* My Little Pony...