One Thing Celestia Must NEVER Do

by Crazyaniknowit

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Comedy, Tragedy, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1581

It was just an ordinary day in Canterlot, Celestia went to raise the sun, and something went horribly wrong....

It was just an ordinary day in Canterlot, Celestia went to raise the sun, and something went horribly wrong. This is what happens when Celestia has allergies. The havoc ensues...

Warnings: completely random, may confuse you.

Published 2015-08-10 12:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-10 12:40:01 UTC

The Sky is Burning

Author's Note

My sister inspired this...this means nothing...that is all.

I regret nothing! :pinkiecrazy:

The Sky is Burning

The Sky is Burning

The crickets chirped, slowly becoming quieter as the night neared it's end. The sky was peaceful, small wisps of cloud floated across it and the stars shone brightly. The brilliant full moon set everything alight in a luminous blue glow, and the Princess of the night sighed as she prepared to lower the moon. As always, she lowered it at precisely six A.M.

Celestia sat beside her sister, her mane disheveled and her eyes swollen with sleep. She was prepared to raise the sun as she always did, but today felt off. She knew what the problem was, some unknown plant always bloomed this time of year, and she was most terribly allergic. Celestia sniffled and gratefully took her sister's offered hoofkerchief. "Thank you." she muttered in a congested voice, quietly and embarrassedly clearing her nose.

"Tis' not a problem. We have these allergies when the elm trees bloom. We understand thy suffering." Luna smiled warmly.

Celestia smiled back gratefully, "I just wish I could find the plant, I've taken a new species out every year and it still happens. I cannot seem to narrow it down." she sighed, placing the hoofkerchief down beside her haunches.

Luna nodded, then looked to the clock tower in the distance, "It is time. Let us begin."

Celestia stood and sniffled again, concentrating her magic on the distant celestial body she was charged with. Luna did the same, and a deep, blue glow illuminated the moon, gently lowering it to the horizon. Celestia lifted as her sister lowered, and soon the sun was coming up over the horizon. The two celestial bodies passed one another at that exact spot, then continued on, the moon vanishing, and the sun climbing.

Luna released her magical grip and smiled, looking towards her sister. That smile suddenly morphed into confusion. "Sister, why art thou making such a face?"

Celestia was lifting one side of her lips, her eyes squinted and her nose scrunched. "Ah...ahh....ACHHHOOOOOO!!!" Luna looked on in horror when she realized her sister never released her grip on the sun whilst sneezing. There was a magnificent, blinding, white light, and a deep rumble. The royal sisters looked at one another in shock, then up at the sky.

Luna's jaw dropped, "What in Equestria?!" she exclaimed.

Celestia just stared, trying to contemplate what she was seeing. The sun was....orange? And was it moving? She squinted to look closer, her eyes widening when she realized it was getting bigger. The rumbling was growing louder, and now everypony in Canterlot (and - she was certain - every other city in Equestria) was standing outside to investigate the source of the earth-shattering rumble.

Suddenly somepony screamed, and everypony knew, the sun was falling, and it wasn't a sun anymore. In fact, Celestia had now identified it as having been turned into an impossible, yet still before her eyes, gargantuan citrus. More precisely, an orange. The oldest magic trick in the book, every student at her school knew it first. "Sister! Do something, the sun is falling for heaven's sake!" Luna cried.

Celestia shook her head to clear it and concentrated on the impending doom. She channeled her telekinesis towards the falling orange, grunting with the effort. She supposed she could put it down to the fact that usually she was simply guiding the sun along it's course, this time it was falling towards her. Despite popular belief, the sun...er, uh, orange...was very heavy. Celestia supposed ponies assumed it was easy, but she just couldn't seem to get a grip on the falling orb of doom.

"Sister?!" Luna's voice was two times as panicked as the last time she addressed her sister.

"I'm trying!" Celestia snapped, letting out a fierce yell and attempting once again to halt the orange in it's descent.

Down below, ponies were running around in panic, screaming and tripping over their own hooves. A certain Lemon Hearts managed to cram her head into a glass vase. Then Hoity Toity crashed into her, sending both ponies flying. Lyra Heartstrings, whom had been visiting Canterlot at the time, was caught in the crossfire. The impact of two ponies crashing into her caused her to accidentally send a burst of random magic out of her horn.

Said magic ended up landing just beneath a group of about twenty ponies, whom included Fluer De Lis, Fancy Pants, Octavia, Jet Set, Upper Crust, Moon Dancer, and Sapphire Shores. The blast exploded, sending all twenty ponies into the air, some landing atop buildings, others in places and precarious predicaments one wouldn't want to think of.

Sapphire Shores managed to land on Donut Joe's head, causing the donuts he had been pulling in his cart at the start of the day to fly out like bullets, hitting any and all ponies in range. Any ponies who were hit flew a few meters, crashing into other ponies, walls, buildings, and the unfortunate squirrel. And as such, yet another chain reaction was set off, any ponies who were hit managed to somehow hit another, and they managed to hit another.

Within a few minutes the city was on fire. It started when Vinyl Scratch, (whom also happened to be visiting Canterlot) decided now would be a good time to play her newest single on her speakers. It wouldn't have caused any trouble, except for the fact that she had invented a setting 12 for her amplifiers. Within the first beat, the walls of her hotel room were blown out. The second made the roof implode, miraculously leaving the mare and her device untouched. By the third beat any nearby plants had begun to smolder, and by the fourth, they were flaming.

The flames spread quickly, reaching to the rubble of the hotel Vinyl was staying in. Then the wind changed course and blew the embers towards the nearby dynamite shop. Seeing this, Vinyl took the opportunity to spin around and walk out of the burning rubble, placing her sunglasses upon her nose. Just as she cleared the block the building exploded. And if somepony were watching a Michael Hay movie at that moment, they would declare the scene epic.

All the while Celestia was straining to keep the orange from crushing her loyal subjects. But she was failing miserably, and the earth itself gave a mighty heave as the orange entered the atmosphere. "I can't stop it!" Celestia wailed, clenching her eyes shut and waiting for the impact.

Within a few moments the orange made impact. Right in the middle of Canterlot, everything was obliterated, and the city was jarred from it's anchor on the mountain. As Canterlot slid down the cliffside, pushed along by the gargantuan orange, everypony in Ponyville looked up with a sigh and simply accepted their fate. Nopony in Las Pegasus, Manehatten, nor even the Crystal Empire, saw the massive shockwave coming.

The orange made its final impact, crushing Ponyville, and the second shockwave spread rapidly. Equestria was wiped out, and the ensuing tsunami's caused any other continent to be utterly obliterated. Fire spread across the entire globe, along with orange juice, as the orange split upon impact. In mere seconds, the entire planet was stained orange, and there was only one, meager spot in the entire world that was left untouched.

Celestia stood in shock on the balcony of her room, which had miraculously survived the cataclysm. There was nothing...nothing left....everypony and everything had been wiped from the face of the planet. Within seconds the day had gone from a completely normal morning to the end of the world. Celestia blinked, "What?" was all she could push past her lips.

A heavy panting reached her ears, and she looked down to see the Princess of the Moon crawling across the rubble. Her mane was disheveled and tangled, her armor was no more, and her wings were heavily ruffled. With many grunts and pants, she managed to claw her way to Celestia, who watched in silence, her mouth agape. "S....ugh...s-sister.....what...hast thou...done?" she gasped.

Celestia blinked again and looked up, the winds of destruction blowing her mane back, and with a deep breath she looked down and declared: "Luna, my sister, I believe I have sneezed...and only one good thing has come of it..."

Luna raised her brow in disbelief, "And what would that be?"

"I don't have allergies anymore."

Luna's eye twitched, her mouth contorting into a scowl, then scrunching into a preparation to scream in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Ohhohoho! I just LOVE what you've done with the place!" both ponies screamed in terror and spun around. The Lord of Chaos stood there in a Haywaii t-shirt and held up a camera, snapping pictures with glee. "You must give me the name of your decorator." he turned to them with a devilish smirk. Celestia looked once more at the destruction and closed her eyes, swaying on the spot and falling to the floor in a faint.

.....and that was the end of Equestria...and nothing ever happened ever again. Nothing at all. Though the Lord of Chaos may have gotten bored over the next few millennia before he finally moved to the moon. Luna and Celestia stayed in Equestria, both went mad, and mentally split the planet in half, each ruling one side. After another few millennia, the planet blew up, and Discord watched it happen with popcorn.

FIN