It was a beautiful day in Equestria. A perfect day for taking over a planet or two. Especially if you’re Lord Frieza, evil alien dictator.
“Prepare the fleets to conquer Frieza Planet 935 as well as my bubble bath! Cooler already has 6 today and I don’t plan on losing to him again!”
“…Six what sir? Bubble bathes or planets?”
With a mere glance in his direction, the previously “employed” unnamed soldier became unemployed… and dead. After pushing a button on his space chair, a new unnamed soldier came in and saluted.
“Sir, what are your commands, sir?!”
“You are now in charge of what he was in charge of.” Said Frieza as he turned back towards his space window into space.
Looking back up from the charred corpse, with a slight tremble in his voice he responded, “What were his duties my lord?”
Frieza smiled “Now if I told you that it wouldn’t be fair for the guy who’s going to replace you. Also take the body with you. My coffee table is already level.”
“Yes my lord!”
As he left Frieza said to himself, “Henchman 304 shows great promise. He might even last a whole 2 hours.” He then continued to enjoy his space window.
Meanwhile…
It was a beautiful day in Equestria. A perfect day for everypony in Ponyville. A perfect day for the newly crowned Twilight Sparkle and all her friends… and Spike. However, it was a weekday and only Twilight and Spike were in their castle because all her friends had jobs and responsibilities to attend to. She on the other hoof was busy restoring her book collection which was blown to ashes due to Tirek blowing her house to ashes.
“How many sections have we finished so far Spike?” asked Twilight as she began to unpack one of many large, unopened boxes.
Reading the cover of Fallout Equestria, he walked to the currently marked ‘K’ shelf under science fiction and stopped to answer her question “We haven’t. The boxes aren’t in alphabetical order. Or any order for that matter.” Sliding the book into place he grabbed a book in the now open box before Twilight.
“And that I just don’t understand. I gave them a list of books, both those in the library before hoof and a requested requisition of new books to help fill the new library because of how much larger it is. I even included a bulleted list on how I wanted them organized before transit. All they had to do was follow my carefully detailed list that I had sent them, a job seemingly simple enough for the Canterlot House of Acuity and Official Supply, or so I thought. Apparently organizing each book by the genres I have given as well as alphabetize them by the standards I have given them, including any and all exceptions painstakingly written across ten pages is too much for them!”
“And yet you ordered your books from Discord.” Spike commented as he placed Cupcakes in the horror section. “Or have you not noticed that that acronym becomes C.H.A.O.S.?”
“That’s merely a coincidence Spike,” the mare supplied as several books floated before her, rearranging themselves in the proper order before floating off to their new homes amongst the shelves surrounding her. “And even so you don’t have the proof to accuse him of the incompetence of another. The one to blame for this is,” as she floated ledger providing the information she sought in front of her, she read the name of the owner “Dr. Ocsid.” As a slow realization hit she dropped the ledger frustrated with her own ignorance “How had I not noticed that! He didn’t even try to hide that it was him! It was so obvious!”
“Oh well, you win some, you lose some, right?” he carried the stack of Mare Do Well comics he’s been steadily building to the graphic novel section of the room. A series of explosions rocked the castle causing the dragon to trip, dropping the comics on the floor in front of him. As he fell towards the comics his collector instincts came into play! Stabbing his tail in to the ground behind him he pivoted from it, turning his body sideways and placed a single claw in a tiny gap between the comics pushing off of it to completely clear the comics, as well as a sick flip Rainbow Dash would have been proud of. Or anyone really, if anyone was in the room with him. He shrugged as he began picking up the comics, ignoring the sound of explosions ripping through the air deciding to leave it to Twilight.
Twilight having left at the sound of the second explosion in the series of explosions rocking the castle, was already galloping towards the front door attempting the reach the outside world of Ponyville. As she opened the doors she saw creatures unlike any she had ever seen flying through the air without the aid of wings and walking between the streets of the town she lived, using what looked like small cannons in place of one of their hands to fire blasts of energy around them, destroying anything near them without any distinction between targets. They aimed for whatever they saw: ponies, trees, buildings, anything. Desperate to find out why this was happening and how to stop it, she teleported herself in front of the nearest creature.
“Who are you and why are you doing this!” she yelled at the creature that she now realized dwarfed her in size, looking to be even taller than the princess Celestia herself! As it turned towards her the device on its face lit up slightly, displaying symbols she didn’t recognize. It then rose its arm pointing the weapon attached to it towards her. At that moment a light-blue blur streaked through the air, forming into a hoof that shattered what she now realized was a helmet, exposing the creature inside as it stumbled from the hit. Before it could right itself and re-aim its weapon the two ponies were gone. It searched for its targets before settling on the building in front of it and reducing it to rubble before moving on to another.
As the two ponies reappeared inside the library, Spike was shelving A Beautiful Day in Equestria giving no regards to the new presences that invaded the library.
“What the?! Why’d you do that egghead!? I totally had ‘em on the ropes!”
“Because you only broke his helmet, leaving whoever it was inside uninjured and possibly annoyed at what I assume was one of your best kicks. This is not something you can handle on your own Rainbow. Not without knowing what these things are.”
As Twilight’s horn began to glow, Spike suddenly cared about their presence, turning towards her with a speed previously unknown to him and suggested, “Or! Instead of doing that thing you normally do, leaving the library in shambles for me to clean,” muttering towards the end, “You can just write a letter to Celestia requesting her knowledge and assistance! Also giving you more time to deal with whatever it is you’re dealing with!” he stated with hopeful eyes and a tone of excitement in his voice.
A look of thoughtfulness entered her eyes as she processed his words. “You’re right Spike that’s a great idea.” As the light from her horn left the books in and around the shelves, Spike blew a sigh of relief and readied a sheet of paper and a quill. “Alright shoot.”
“Dear Princess Celestia, a large number of creatures has appeared in Ponyville and are destroying it with no known purpose. We are hoping that you may know what they are and how to stop them. Please respond as soon as possible. Your fellow princess, Twilight Sparkle.” As she finished, Spike was working hard to do the same.
“P.S. Rainbow Dash is awesome!” Rainbow shouted from a small pile of Daring Doo books.
“Rainbow!” Twilight shouted in annoyance.
“…is awesome.” Spike muttered before sending it off in a breath of green flame.
“Rainbow, what have you done?!” screamed Twilight as her voice grew into a panicked tone. “What if she doesn’t take the letter seriously and plays it off as a joke not bothering to respond leaving us all to a doomed fate?! What if-”, she was cut off as a belch came from Spike’s direction. When she turned to face him, he was already holding up the reply in front of him, skimming it before he began to read it aloud to the two ponies sharing the room with him.
“Dear Twilight Sparkle,” he began “I regret to inform you that my knowledge of these creatures is no greater than your own. I also regret to tell you that my aid will not be available to Ponyville as Canterlot is already under a similar siege and thus requires my full attention. Neither Luna nor Cadence will be able to assist you as Luna is heading to other cities to defend the other inhabitants of Equestria while I am here. As for Cadence, the barrier created by the Crystal Heart is sufficient in defending the Crystal Empire, allowing her to aid the nations outside Equestria with Discord, leaving her domain under the protection of Shining Armor should the barrier fall. But do not fear Twilight for these creatures are much weaker than they appear. Dispatching them should not be too difficult for you and your friends-“
“Ha, toldya I’d be fine!”
“Rainbow Dash don’t interrupt! Please continue Spike.”
“Okay. Dispatching them should not be too difficult for you and your friends although I have yet to find their leader and fear that they may be more powerful than the enemies we now face. Be wary Twilight. Your fellow princess, Celestia. P.S. Spike could you grab your trident and join me in Canterlot?” As he looked up from the page he tossed it aside and ran out of the room at full speed. “Going to Canterlot bye!” Moments later, Twilight and Rainbow Dash heard the seemingly distant thud of a door slam from below.
“… So what now egghead?”
“One, don’t call me that. Two, we gather the others, protect Ponyville and finish shelving these books.”
“…You mean you finish shelving these books, right?”
Then the doors to the castle burst open, allowing half a dozen creatures in as they began looking for more things to destroy.
“We’ll discuss this later Rainbow but first we must address more serious matters.” And with that Twilight ran off to face her home’s intruders.
“…Kick some serious flank or try to figure out a way to get out of helping Twi…” When she heard the explosion from down below, the scale seemed to have become exceedingly heavy. “Dash is on her way to save the day, because I’m awesome!” With that she screeched down the path Twilight went and gave a kick to the first non-pony thing she saw… which was a lamp. The fighting in the room stopped as everyone looked at the broken lamp then at the rainbow pegasus. “Oops.” She then went back down the hall and came back delivering a kick to an actual combatant who was unprepared to receive it resulting in both him and his helmet to crash to the floor. Another one responded by lifting his blaster towards Rainbow to which Twilight rewarded with a magical blast to his chest knocking him unconscious against the far wall.
One by one the assailants were defeated and restrained by the two ponies until they were all that remained standing.
“So, am I awesome, or am I awesome? Cuz I think I’m pretty awes- Twi what are you doing?”
“Interesting some appear human while others are creatures I do not recognize from any book I read.” Twilight said as she removed the helmets of the enemies before her. “This technology is far different than anything I have ever seen, even at Canterlot High. I’ll have to run some test to-”
“TWILIGHT! WE HAVE SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE URGENT TO FOCUS ON DONTCHA THINK!?”
Being reminded of their current peril by Rainbow Dash and by the sounds of explosions and screams from outside, Twilight gave her an embarrassed look and set the helmets she was examining to the side. “You’re right Rainbow. We need to find out why they are doing this and find a way to put a stop to it.”
“Alright then. Good cop, awesome cop.” Rainbow then flew over to the one of the guards, grabbed him by his armor and vigorously shook him, “Wake up you sorry waste of space, ‘fore I knock the unconsciousness right outta ya!”
“Rainbow! That is not-”
“I ain’t got nuddin’ da say to ya Space Skittles! You or ya eyesore of a friend! ‘Er hair alone is crime against fashion!”
“What? What’s wrong with my mane?”
“Din’t I jus say I ain’t got nuddin’ da say to ya?!”
“…Rainbow.”
“Yeah Twi?”
“Make him talk.”
Author's Note
...Meh I got nuthin'...
As destruction rang outside, inside Sugarcube Corner a pink blur created her own maelstrom of devastation leaving behind utensils, cookware, bodies, and other miscellaneous objects throughout the shop as Pumpkin and Pound Cake cheered her on from their parents’ grasp.
“Pinkie, are you sure don’t help looking for… whatever it is you are looking for?” Asked Mr. Cake as he stared at the growing mess occupying his house.
“Nope, I already have Gummy searching upstairs so we should be able to find it in a jiffy!” She said before moving to buck another henchman coming through the backdoor and turning back into a destructive pink blur.
“Well, it just seems like you’re creating a lot of unnecessary me-”
“*GASP*!! Gummy you found it!” Atop the stairs behind the Cakes was Gummy staring blankly ahead with a blindingly pink bag dragging behind him. Pinkie shot up the stairs and went to the window where a henchman was trying to get drop on her from above. With one leg through the window he turned the rest of his body to the hall where the pink pony stood and stared at her. After a moment of contemplation he swung his leg back through the window and stood on the ladder he used to climb up, closing the window and descending the ladder. “I wonder if he forgot he could fly.” She mused before walking back towards Gummy. As she was passing by her room she walked inside and stared as the same henchman was floating near her open window. After a few seconds of eye contact he closed the window and flew away.
She returned to Gummy and shoved her head into the pink bag, rummaging through its contents.
“WHAT!? WE ONLY HAVE ONE LEFT!?” She yanked her head out in surprise as she looked down at Gummy. “And it’s not even the good one… Oh well!” she stuck her head in the bag again and came out with a scroll hanging from her mane, “Come on Gummy, let’s give this to Twilight.” As she turned to go downstairs Gummy bit down on her tail, being taken away with Pinkie and leaving the pink bag behind.
“Pinkie! Thank Celestia you’re here, we can’t keep this door closed much longer, we need your help!” screamed Mr. Cake as he and his wife pushed against a pile of tables, chairs and cakes barricading the door while an army of henchmen pushed back. Oh and the foals were there too.
“Huh, that’s weird. Why don’t any of them use the backdoor?” When Pinkie turned to face the door it opened as the earlier henchman stepped in and made eye contact with her once again. After a series of ellipses, he close the door and walked away. She went over to the Cakes and their barricade and opened the front door with all the tables, chairs, cakes and Cakes attached. “Sorry guys but I have to leave soon so could you please leave?” She was answered by grunts and “aww’s” as they all left the bakery. Pinkie then closed the door back and began walking to an inconspicuous giant ice-cream cone shaped hoofrail end and tapped her head against it. After the “ice-cream” collapsed into the cone the floor opened up. “You will be safe in here.” Gummy then let go of her tail and went into the abyss which somehow wasn’t the basement, “I’ll get you when it’s over.” The Cakes chose to not question her and all four of them leapt inside as the floor closed after them. Locking the floor… somehow, she left to meet up with Applejack and let her mane absorb the scroll… Ok this is gonna take a while let’s see what Fluttershy is up to.
MEANWHILE
“So you think this kitten is the perfect pet for my girlfriend?”
“Oh yes! You said she’s allergic to cats but always wanted one so what’s better than a cute hypoallergenic kitten?” stated Fluttershy with an uncharacteristic certainty. “She’s going to love it!”
“I didn’t know Zarbon wasn’t single.” Whispered one henchman.
“I didn’t know he wasn’t gay.” Replied the other.
“Hmm… I’m still not sure…” said Zarbon as he lifted the kitten to eye level to examine it. It responded with a heart-melting “meow” before expanding its eyes to adorable proportions. “Awww, okay I’ll take her!”
“Yay!”
…well Pinkie Pie is still walking so let’s try another meanwhile and see what Rarity’s doing…
MEANWHILE!
“Now I normally don’t work with… clients of your… stature and complexion, but for a lady of your caliber I would suggest a black, strapless, satin dress with a pair of exquisite heels and glossy gloves and perhaps a diamond pendant. Such an ensemble is sure to win over this stallion that has captured your heart.” Rarity said to the spiky, pink, supposed female towering over her.
“Ya really think so?” said Dodoria hopefully.
“Darling, I know so.” lied Rarity.
…How are you still walking!! Ugh, let’s see what Twilight and Rainbow are doing…
MEANWHILE!
“…and according to the proportional law of supreme follicles molecular mass, not only should my mane style be more than adequate, my mane theoretically contains the perfect dimensions to achieve optimal attractiveness for an equine of my specific body type. Now let’s return to figures 13.73 and 17.24 to recap on the importance of follicles count as we move on to how my mane is an exemplary example of the elusive concept known as ‘adorkableness’…”
…nope. Alrighty then let’s see where Pinkie is- HOW DID YOU GET TO CANTERLOT AND WHY!?!
Author's Note
So this fic was originally supposed to be a one shot and as I was writing it I took to long so now I'm updating it as I go along so each chapter will be as long as I can fit in all at once when I don't have a good enough reason to procrastinate.
Pinkie…
“Yeeeeee- oh, sorry…” *AHEM* Yeeeeeeees?
…Ok, one: why did you do that?
I didn’t want to seem like a crazy pony of course!
…Right. Ok two then: why are you in Manehattan?
To finish the side quests of course!
…...Why are you doing side quests?
Well the item I need to finish the “Meet up with Applejack” quest is at the end of this string of quests.
Pinkie the only requirement to that quest was the ability to walk.
Well duh. But my path was blocked by a Filly Scout who wanted to help an old stallion cross the street, but he didn’t have the energy to make it across so the filly asked if I could get the stallion a sandwich so he could make it across and as luck would have it there was a sandwich shop nearby but the owner only took a specific kind of gem as payment and these gems are normally only found in Canterlot so I went there and found someone who sold them but they wanted a new Super Duper Magic Shovel TM but they are super-duper expensive however so I-
Hey Pinkie?
Yeeeeeeees?
Do you mind if I cut to a few other scenes until you reach Applejack’s?
Can I say meanwhile?
Yeah, sure, whatever.
MEANWHILE!
“Furthermore,” Twilight started, “going back to diagram 5-3 in reference to figure 12.06, the mane to cranial mass ratio of-“
Skip!
“And sometimes I think he doesn’t even know I’m a woman!” Dodoria cried.
SKIP!! Okay there’s got to be something I could- Oh look it’s the Ginyu Force. That’s like infinitely better... wait where Guldo?
“Alright men! Let’s show these girls-“
“Fillies.” Sweetie Belle corrected.
“Fillies how it’s done! Sound off! Ginyu!” He started, striking a pose on one knee with his arms at a slant.
“Jeice!” He shouted, making a mirrored version of his captain’s pose, forming a ‘V’ shape between them.
“Burter!” He continued, lifting his right leg while spreading his arms wide.
“Recoome!” He finished, lifting his left leg as his arms matched Burter’s.
“Together we are the Ginyu Force!” They all shouted together as the Cutie Mark Crusaders stared in awe.
“That was awesome! Not as awesome as Rainbow Dash but still pretty awesome!”
“That was some really fancy coordinatin’ ya’ll did.”
“I really like your mane!”
“Glad to hear it.” Ginyu said as they dropped their poses. “Now it’s your turn.”
“Ya’ll sure ‘bout that? Didn’t the green guy leave so he could get my cousin so we could have all of our members?”
“Yes, but if we get started now we will know where your strengths and weaknesses lie and work around them before your final member shows up. Balance is key to all of your future poses, the backbone of any organized group of individuals! Now, show me what you can do!”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at each other and nodded to each other in confident determination. After a quick huddle they broke apart and were ready.
“Bet you a Spacey’s combo meal they collapse on each other.”
“Oh you are on mate!”
“Recoome wishes to raise with a milkshake that they do something impressive before collapsing.”
“You’re on!” agreed Burter and Jeice.
“Applebloom!” she yelled as she ran towards Sweetie Belle.
“Sweetie Belle!” she screamed jumping at the now airborne Applebloom.
“And Scootaloo!” now above her two comrades, used her wings to slow her decent as they got into position. As Applebloom and Sweetie Belle met their hooves connected as they gripped each other with two hooves each, Sweetie’s left and Applebloom’s right. As they touched the ground balancing on one hoof on the ground while the other was held up, their remaining hooves were spread eagle as Scootaloo landed on their connected hooves suspended in air with her forelegs crossed.
“AND WE ARE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” The three shouted as they maintained their pose.
“THAT WAS ALL WRONG!” Ginyu shouted, startling the three fillies and causing them to fall on each other
“Hey mate? Does that count?”
“I would think so.”
“Recoome agrees.”
“Dangit!” Murmured Jeice before they all turned back to their captain.
“Wrong!? What was wrong with that!? That was awesome!”
“Ah gotta agree with Scoots on this one, what’s the problem with our pose?”
“When I create the poses my men and I use, I spend hours, days even, perfecting them, taking into account every degree, every situation and scenario, every detail, large or minute all to make sure they truly express the essence of the Ginyu Force in both spirit and heart. Which is why your pose is unsatisfactory!”
“Because we came up with it in under a minute?” Asked Sweetie Belle.
“Because it only capitalizes your spirit! A truly perfect pose must not only show what you are, but who you are. Now try again!”
“Yoohoo, captain. Guess who I got.” Shouted Guldo as he ran towards them with Babs Seed held in his hands above his head.
“Put me down, wouldya! Ah can walk on my own ya know?”
Psst.
Pinkie this scene is still going.
Well yeah but I just thought you’d want to know that I’m in Sweet Apple Acres now.
Oh? Well that’s good to hear. What took you?
Getting Babs back from Manehattan took a lot longer than I thought especially with all the trains down and the random encounters.
…are you telling me one of your quest was to kidnap Babs Seed?
Actually the term is foalnap.
…*sigh*…meanwhile…
“Mmmm. These apples are delicious!” Stated Cui.
“That’s right! The best apples in all of Equestria are right here in Sweet Apple Acres. By the way those apples you just ate will be 12 bits.”
“Alright lemme just… LOOK IT’S LORD FRIEZA!!”
Turning around Applejack said “Who?” excited to how off her wares to anyone titled ‘Lord’, however no one was there and when she turned back Cui was running away with a big bucket of apples. “Hey get back here ya no good varmint!” she screamed but before she could give chase, a pink blur crashed into his side, sending him high into the sky before vanishing from sight. It then stopped in front of Applejack.
“Hey Applejack how’s it goin’?”
“Well Ah-“
“Great! Come on we got a world to save.” Pinkie grabbed Applejack’s hoof and dragged her along but not before placing a cardboard cutout of Applejack in the orchard.
Author's Note
I'm having a hard time figuring out what should go here... well I guess the next chapter will be the last one and action will finally be in it... probably... meh we'll see.
