"Please state your name, race, age, and occupation into the recorder."

"So...I just talk into this thing?"

"Yes, now please, your name."

"Alright. Hello, my name is Score Keeper, Earth pony, thirty-six years of age, and as for occupation, well, I don't like to brag, but you might have seen me announcing at several sporting events, though I wouldn't blame you if my mug doesn't exactly ring any bells."

"Well that's a start. Now, Mr. Score Keeper, how is it that you--"

"If I may interrupt, Officer...?"

"Officer None-of-your-business."

"Heh, what an unfortunate name. Anyway, what I was going to say was, and if you'd allow me, I'd like to tell my story the way I wanna tell it."

Commissioned by Anonymous and written using some of Pusspuss's assets with his permission.