Not Tying

by TundraStanza

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Flash Sentry
Length: 3705

Flash Sentry gets dragged into a charity dating event. Celestia gets dragged into auctioning at said event. Is this supposed to be a sign?

Princess Cadance is ready to take another step with an important aspect of love: generous donations to the Crystal Empire's technically thousand-plus year old orphanage and animal shelter. If some lucky ponies find their soulmates through the event, all the better to go forward with it.

Some of her guards get yanked into the list of candidates, including Commander Flash Sentry. He is told that it's going to be a fun time, but he's not so sure. The situation turns even more serious when he finds out the identity of the mare that is essentially buying his time.
---
"Luna, this is hardly appropriate."

"Nonsense, sister! You need a hobby, and testing the waters seems like a good starting point."

"But that's what the Royal pH testers are for."

"Wow... you really need to get out more."
---
Rated "Teen" for slight alcohol reference.
Contrary to Cadance's desires, this is not a love story.

Published 2015-09-09 06:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-09 06:30:01 UTC

That Knot

Four pieces of brass clicked against the floor. Just as many amber legs went through their cycles. Amber wings held tightly. Breaths were loud, yet steady. The crystal hallways slid behind him as he galloped into the chamber with the round table.

"Your Highness: Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!" Flash Sentry bowed deeply.

A short and quick chuckle erupted from above his view. He chanced a glance up. Had he missed something in his protocol? That one second seemed to take forever to tick by. Her Highness Princess Mi Amore Cadenza smiled gently, despite her deadpanned eyes.

"You don't have to say the whole thing every time you address me, Commander Sentry."

Quietly, he let out a sigh. He straightened his legs so that he stood at his full height. He rubbed a braced hoof against the back of his helmet. To top the look, he closed his eyes and grinned.

"Sorry, Princess Cadance. Force of habit." He faked a cough into his hoof. He opened his eyes and relaxed his smile. "You wanted to see me for something?"

Cadance levitated out a scroll and unravelled it atop the table. The image at the top depicted at least three well-dressed pony couples. Each of them was partaking in a different aspect of a dining, dancing, and resting experience. The left corner of the image held three tiny ewes. In the right corner, two foals seemed to be looking at the viewer with pleading eyes. Beneath the image, a few paragraphs described the event and its purpose.

"Ah, yes... the First Charity Date this Saturday." Flash nodded. "I hear some fine gentlecolts have volunteered for showcasing. I take it you'll need my squad to keep the stage-rushing herds to a minimum."

"Actually, that's not quite what I have in mind." The princess's smile lowered to a more neutral line.

"No?" Flash blinked as he tilted his head.

"As it turns out, I've recently received word that more than half of our gentlecolts have the Feather Flu and will be unable to partake in the festivities."

"Oh." Flash lowered his head before slowly looking back at the princess. "That's terrible news. But wait... weren't most of the volunteers crystal earth ponies?"

"Yes, and their conditions will be remedied with the same amount of rest as the more common flu," said Cadance. "However, the ones that were infected will still leave us with absent seats this Saturday."

Flash sagely nodded. "Of course. The guys and I will ensure that riots and complaints of the cancelled event do not spiral into a city-wide anarchy."

"That's... not quite the reason I called you in here either."

The commander looked at her with his brow raised. "What do you mean?"

Cadance took a deep, calm breath while extending her hoof out. "Flash Sentry, I don't ask this lightly, but in order for the Charity Date to continue as scheduled, I am requesting that you and six of your best stallions stand on that stage."

A pin dropped somewhere. Elsewhere, a colt's baseball crashed through a house's window. The train passing through the Arctic North screeched on its brakes. Discord's saltshaker pulled its white powder off of his corn. A. K. Yearling's hoof paused on one of her typewriter's buttons.

"Ex...cuse you, Your Majesty?" Flash couldn't have heard that right.

"I said, 'You need to get out more'," repeated Luna.

"I am out of this room every day, Luna." Celestia nearly slammed her tea cup down, but at the last second gently placed it on the center of the saucer.

"Yes, doing work by giving audience to several nobles and other highly opinionated groups that demand your attention." Luna levitated a stray document and skimmed through it. "But it's always for them and never for you."

"Being the gentle conscience that lets her little ponies make their own decisions is who I am," insisted Celestia.

"But that's not all you could be." Luna crumpled up the fifth ludicrous decree from her extremely distant nephew, and tossed it to the full wastebasket behind her. "Is pony kind's leader truly forbidden from taking part in the lighter things?"

"Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should," said Celestia in a way that only her sister could pick up as a warning tone.

Luna flinched, a bit more dramatically than how she had actually taken that comment. "This isn't the same thing as that, Celestia."

Celestia's quill pen paused mid-signature. "Then what do you suggest, Sister? Any pony that I try suiting for the sake of a little fun will just consider it an order, and it would not be a genuinely 'lighter' experience."

"I'm... sure I can think of something." Luna took a few more of the documents, her magic surrounding the edges. Her eyelids snapped wide open at the third parchment. She slowly floated up the image in her sister's face. "And this would be a great starting point."

Flash Sentry wasn't so sure that this was the start of anything good. After listening to Cadance's details, he trotted over to the Crystal Barracks. A few minutes passed after he went inside. Suddenly, the entire structure rumbled in several voices all emitting a solitary sound.

"What?!"

Flash cleared his throat. "These are our orders, gentlecolts, directly from Princess Cadence herself."

"This wasn't covered in our training," said a worried crystal pegasus guard.

"Get a grip, private!" Flash demanded. "Did you or did you not volunteer for the Crystal Guard under oath that you would follow even the most unexpected tasks assigned to you?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." The private sighed, trying to regain his composure.

Flash nodded. "All right, we have until this Saturday evening to find everypony suits, brush up on etiquette, and possibly small talk. I expect you all to have yourselves ready to go by zero-six-hundred hours this Friday. Any questions?"

"Permission to speak, Commander?" asked a crystal unicorn.

"Private, when I say, 'Any questions?' it automatically opens the floor for you to state your thoughts."

"Oh, right..." This private chuckled nervously. "What exactly is small talk?"

"How in the world does some pony find a suit?" asked the first private.

"Does saluting count as etiquette?" added a third.

Flash sighed and muttered, "We're going to be here a while."

Saturday at sunset...

About fifty or so ponies gathered near the base of the Crystal Palace. Some of the ponies among the crowd were from other cities. Most notably, Princess Celestia was wearing a dress that was well set to the cooler sky of the evening. There was ever so slight a glittering effect along the light fabric that made it seem like it was preparing for the night life. Celestia herself, however, kept as neutral an expression as possible as she took a seat in the back row.

"Stallions and gentlemares, welcome to the First Charity Date of the Crystal Empire!"

Cadance's voice seemed to draw the attention of the crowd as she stood atop the balcony. Most of them applauded her presence and her very motion to address them all. Scattered crystal ponies among the crowd were shimmering all over in excitement. Celestia smiled easily at this display, both from the crowd and from Cadance.

"All proceeds from tonight's round of auctions will go toward the orphanage and animal shelter. Remember: Even those that can't adopt can still offer their support. With that said, who's ready to meet our lucky bachelors?"

Hooves stomped, crystal hides glittered, and shouts of approval roared. A spotlight clicked on, showing up upon the first crystal stallion. He idly adjusted his bowtie with one wing, while his hoof ran across his ginger mane in a slow, flowing motion. A few of the mares in the front row swooned. Meanwhile, the rest of the mares were already making their bids.

"Ten bits!"

"Fifteen!"

"Twenty-eight!"

"What do you think?" whispered Luna, dressed in her usual attire and sitting next to Celestia. "He's rather dapper, isn't he?"

"It's too early in the event to outbid them," Celestia whispered back. "I should let a few earnest ponies form their relationships without feeling like they have to live up to a princess's standards."

"Oh, fine." Luna rolled her eyes, but returned to observing the crowd in silence.

"Twenty-eight going once!" hollered Cadance. "Going twice! Sold!"

For the rest of the dressed-up stallions, it went pretty much the same way. There were even a couple mares that teamed up and won the fifth seat. Eventually, all but one stallion remained. Instead of the standard spotlight, however, Cadance silently giggled to herself before two lights spun around all over the place.

"We've saved the best for last," she said as she covered her face with her wings. "The stallion who quickly dashes up the ranks of the guards, the one who never strays from the path of certitude, the one with the most dashing good looks... I am proud to present Commander Flash Sentry!"

Cadance's wings spread wide when she said the name. The lights stopped spinning and focused on the remaining pegasus standing on the stage. Somehow, they added a sparkling effect to key points along his suit and his mane. Loud screams and cheers of wonder crossed much of the crowd. Their excitement was practically throwing their hearts at him. It must have been at least two minutes before Cadance could speak over their volume again.

"So gentlemares, how much is a date with this stallion worth to you?"

Isolated voices started tallying up.

"Fifty bits!"

"Seventy-five!"

"One hundred and two!"

"Dream on, lady! One hundred fifty!"

All of these ponies were busy arguing for the beautiful slab on display. Celestia's eye, however, was on the colt's expression. She had seen that particular nervous smile countless times before: The slight twitching of the eyes, the minuscule grinding of his lower teeth, even a few pores that were trying to sweat, but couldn't under the intense light fixtures. This colt really didn't want to be here, and... neither did she. The surrounding voices suddenly stopped as Cadance prepared to call it.

"Three hundred sixty-six bits going once!"

Celestia slowly lifted her forearm.

"Three hundred sixty-six going twice!"

Cadance prepared to wave her hoof down a third time.

"Seven hundred!"

Cadance paused mid-swing. She looked down in the direction of the voice. The rest of the crowd turned around to see what she was looking at. Many eyes went wide at the hoof that was held straight in front of the last-second bidder. Some of the ponies immediately bowed out and tried to shuffle away. Others continued to stare at the pony in shock and disbelief. Finally, Cadance managed a cough and found her breath.

"Um... sold... to Princess Celestia."

Celestia slid off of her chair onto all fours. Aside from a bit of wind and the sound of her hoof steps, there was silence. She kept her eyes closed and calm as she trotted around the seats and headed for the stage. It felt like the distance was getting longer, even though it wasn't physically changing at all. Everything seemed to be moving much slower, all except for her perception of her surroundings.

Seven pieces of platinum rolled from her magic touch into the donation box. It was then that she opened her eyes. The colt that she had... won? That seemed like such a vulgar term right then and there. This was no prize. This was some pony with their own thoughts and feelings... possibly even with their own dreams (but that was Luna's field of expertise). She adorned her gentle smile.

"Good evening," she said unto him.

"G-Good evening, Your Highness." He managed to lower his head.

"Oh, you don't have to use my titles tonight," she insisted while waving a hoof dismissively.

He lifted his head back to level before chuckling nervously. "Sorry, Celestia. Force of habit."

Cadance's voice echoed again. "Alright, folks. That's the end of the bidding! All of you lucky couples, please make your way to the Piece-De-Restaurants. Don't be late!" With that, she jumped up and glided from the balcony.

While trotting along, Flash Sentry tugged his suit collar with a feather. He wasn't sure why, but he felt vulnerable without is usual armor. His sister probably would have laughed at his nerves. But that would've been a comfort at this point. Instead, he had a complete lack of noise from his... partner. Companion? Auction winner? Date? No, he couldn't think that way. After all, once this night was over, he'd go back to his job and she'd go back to important... princess... things. At least, that's what he told himself.

They had been trotting for a while, yet he hadn't really looked at her after hopping off the stage. He decided to remedy that moment of rudeness by glancing at the tall pony walking beside him. He was simultaneously awed and ashamed. The glittering blend of cool-shaded colors seemed to emphasize her pretty face. But by gazing at this beautiful motion-picture, he felt like he was committing theft.

Finally, he took a chance at speaking up. "Um... you look great."

Celestia glanced over and nodded once. "Thank you. You look great as well."

He quickly looked down at the ground in front of him. Oh no, she returned the compliment with the same words. Was that the wrong thing to say? He pressed his teeth against his tongue. Get a grip, Commander! This is a princess among princesses. Don't let your worries control you! Roll with it. He lifted his head back to level in time to see the reserved restaurant getting closer.

The other couples from the Charity Drive Date were slowly filing into the place. A crystal pony in a vested outfit stood behind a podium, asking a simple question to each couple before they entered. When Flash Senty and Celestia stood in front, the podium mare's eyes went wide as she bowed deeply to Celestia. When she finally rose back up, she coughed a bit before giving the simple question: indoors or cloud?

Originally, a few clouds with enchanted crystal tables had been set aside due to the number of pegasi that were going to be a part of the event. However, due to some of the contestants being replaced at the last minute, these cloud tables were in surplus tonight. Considering both members of this particular party could fly, the choice was obvious.

Flash held out his front leg in the gentlecolt's escort position. Celestia gave a gentle smile before setting her hoof on top of that. A few wing flaps later, and they were sitting at one of the cloud tables within the restaurant's perimeter. A crystal pegasus waiter came up a minute later and poured a fancy red drink. He then turned around and flew down. Meanwhile, Flash and Celestia gently gripped their respective glasses.

"To the goodwill of charity," proclaimed Flash.

"To the support of the future for orphans and animals," added Celestia.

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!"

The glasses sang during the brief moment that they tapped each other. The tart, fermented taste passed the throat. A quiet exhale was left unheard by either one that had sighed. Eye contact was made across the table.

"So, how's the family?" Celestia prompted.

"When I saw them last week, they were doing fine." Flash kept his smile. "Mother's hearing is still amazing, and my little sister is practically all set to win some Equestrian Games' gold."

"Really? That sounds wonderful. What event is she trying out for?"

"Ice archery." Flash glanced over at the moon that was slowly rising. "She practices with her toy bow and arrows every day after school. It's only a matter of time."

After dinner...

Cadance and Shining Armor led the dates through a waltz in a reserved courtyard. Somehow, a skinny diamond dog had been roped into directing the orchestra, though he seemed to enjoy waving his paws to the classical rhythm. At the same time, the stallion that had been "sold" to two mares had convinced his dates to dance with each other while he stood aside and caught his breath. When he looked to the side, he was shocked to see Luna who had sneaked into the area almost as if she were the night itself. She smiled and winked at him, to which he blushed.

Some of the dancers paused and stared at the center of the dance floor. There, the blend of yellow and white stood out the most. While the music remained calm and flowing, Flash was starting to feel a little anxious with all the extra eyes looking upon him. Celestia noticed slight hesitations in her partner's movements, and tried to hold back a quarter-beat to compensate. Though, over the next minute or so, his eyes were darting around and his steps were getting stilted by... something. Celestia quietly hummed before leaning her head down.

She whispered, "Want to try something else?"

Flash's pupils rushed to look forward before whispering back, "What do you mean?"

Celestia let go of Flash and quickly cantered over to Cadance. Her niece paused mid-step as Celestia whispered something to her. After Celestia straightened back up, Cadance looked at her with a wry smile.

"Only for three minutes," answered the current event master.

"Right." Celestia nodded before heading back to Flash's side. "This way, Commander."

"Alright." He looked a bit unsure as he trotted beside her.

Their path led them to the orchestra. Briefly, Celestia leaned down and whispered to the conductor. Said conductor's confused impression slowly crept into an agreeable smile. As Celestia and Flash walked around him, the diamond dog slowly motioned both of his arms in a flat line.

"Hold this, please," said Celestia.

Her magic floated a microphone over. Flash looked at Celestia again just to make sure he had heard her right. A twinkle in her eye was all that was needed. He chuckled lightly before gladly grabbing the mic. Meanwhile, Celestia floated out a guitar from one of the orchestra's unused pile of instruments. The conductor gave a few small, quick motions with his paw before waving both of his limbs with broader waving.

The notes and rhythms of the orchestra sounded like something out of a show tune. Waltz had taken an intermission for an improvised rock band. The instruments didn't look right for the sounds that were coming out, but the energy was still there. Flash tapped his left wing to the beat until he opened his mouth.

"~Life may hit you hard

But that's how it goes sometimes

And you're not to blame

But the pain still hits the same

You've got to overcome this game~"

Expressions on the attendees were mixed. Some were rather miffed that their nice quiet evening was being interrupted. Others were simply baffled, not knowing what was going on. Still, some of the crowd started bobbing their heads and shaking their tails to the beat. It was kind of catchy.

"~Walk on the road, facing the hate

It's not your fault; come on, open the gate

They need a goat to escape

They think that's all it takes

But they don't want to hear the stakes~"

Celestia seemed to glow all over as she strummed the accompanying chords. It was enough to draw a few glistening beads of sweat from her head. The ponies that were enjoying this music practically galloped into a rave. A few dresses did not survive the excitement.

"~So step on up to the plate

Take on fate

Cantering right into the hydra's bog

Just break on through the big gate

Overcome the game

You've got to make history, yeah~"

A traditional piece graced the plaza's background music again. Some tears were shed over the lost fabric, but nearby gentle nudges helped to calm them down. Most of the attendees resumed their peaceful dance. However, the commander and the princess were standing by a side table. They had slightly fizzy drinks in hoof.

"So, are you having fun?"

Flash Sentry turned toward the voice of the approaching pony. He had to fight every single urge that told him to straighten up in his princess's presence. Though, Cadance's familiar, relaxing smile helped him breathe a little more easily.

"It has been a very fine evening," he answered as he tilted his glass back and forth ever so slightly. "Your arrangements are among the greatest I've ever seen, Princess Cadance."

"That's... not really what I asked." Cadance shook her head and looked at Flash's companion. "What about you?"

"Oh, my fun has been fluctuating this evening." Celestia's wings half-opened. "But it's always been above my expectations."

Cadance simply hummed at that. She walked over to the table, lifted a cup with her magic, and wandered back to Celestia and Flash. She took a sip of the white wine and mulled over what she had just heard.

"You're both rather dodgy when it comes to answering questions," she commented.

"We are?" Flash glanced over at her.

"I never even noticed," added Celestia.

"So... did any sparks fly between you?"

There was a brief glance exchanged between the commander and the ruler of the sun. While each saw a new friend, neither really found the spark of love that was encouraged through settings such as these. So in response, they looked at Cadance and shook their heads.

"I'm afraid not, Your Highness," said Flash.

"Contrary to what was requested, this will not be the hobby that Luna gets to enjoy in watching me partake," declared Celestia. She slowly looked around. "Speaking of which, where is she?"

"Um..." Cadance panned the entirety of the open space until she did a double-take at the fountain. "There she... oh!"

"Luna, you clever girl..." Celestia trailed off.

Flash raised his eyebrow. "What is she doing to Private-" There was a loud splash and another slightly related, wet sound that would be erased from a reel of film. "Sweet Father of Celestia."

"I'd rather not call him here to see this." Celestia shook her head.

Author's Note

A date doesn't have to be a date-date.
(Special thanks to Atlus for inspiration via Persona 4 Golden's soundtrack.)