A Hedge Between Keeps Equestria Green
A Hedge Between Keeps Equestria Green
Mayor Mare opens a box, revealing a large sunflower plant. “Manehattan’s entry has arrived,” she says as she moves it next to a number of other sunflower plants. Applejack writes a small label and places it around the stem. “Sure is a doozy, too. In fact, all of the entries have been doozies. This is shaping up to be one of the best Sunflower Petal Competitions ever.”
Mayor Mare opens another box. “And Daisy, Lily, and Rose have really outdone themselves for the Flower Festival. They’ve brought in flowers from every corner of Equestria, and beyond! This won’t be just the best Sunflower Petal Competition ever, Applejack. It will be the greatest Summer Solstice Celebration ever!”
A stallion runs up and skids to a halt. “Applejack!”
Everypony looks up at the cowboy, who's face is marred with a distraught expression. Applejack alone responds. “Braeburn? What are you-“
Braeburn grabs his cousin with earnest. “Cuz! It’s terrible! There’s a swarm of Cries o’ Melody Beetles sweeping across Equestria! And it’s heading towards Ponyville! It’s going to ruin the festival!”
Applejack shudders at the news. “There’s a WHAT!?”
“A swarm is coming!?” Daisy cries out.
“Of Cries o’ Melody Beetles!?” Lily follows up.
“They’ll eat all of the flowers!” Rose finishes. Together the three mares faint and fall to the ground.
“Oh no,” Mayor Mare laments. “And this was turning out to be such a great year.”
“Now hold your horses,” Applejack commands and holds out a hoof. “Braeburn, how large is this swarm you’re going on about?”
“It’s just like the stories, cuz. The Sweeping Swarms that caused the famines. I saw how big it was when I was on the train. I heard its sad song…” Braeburn lowers his head slightly, lost in the memory.
“Oh nuts,” Applejack says, sounding frightened. “All we can do is hope that it disappears before it reaches Ponyville. Unless… Twilight knows something that can stop the swarm!”
They immediately rush to Twilight’s Castle of Friendship. They quickly brief her on the situation. Her reaction rivals that of Braeburn’s.
“This is bad! Really bad! No, wait, not bad. Terrible!” She runs all around the castle in a near panic. “It’s been…” she searches a shelf of books, throwing off texts until she finally opens one. “47 years since the last swarm swept across Equestria.” She drops the book and gallops to her globe and solar system model. “The timing couldn’t be worse. The beginning of summer is just around the corner.” Now at her bulletin board, looking at the town's list of events. “Ponyville is hosting the longest day in Equestria!” Then looking out the window at Sweet Apple Acres in the distance. “And now Equestria could be on the precipice of a famine!”
Applejack steps up behind her. “That’s why we need you to come up with a solution.”
“This is no solution!” Twilight cries upon spinning around and looking sick with dread. “No pony-made barrier as ever stopped the Cries O’ Melody swarms. Throughout history, they hop from one town to another, consuming all the crops and vegetation in each one, until they just mysteriously vanish on their own. All we can do is hope the swarm vanishes before it reaches Ponyville.”
“Please Twilight,” Mayor Mare beseeches. “Equestria, and the Summer Solstice Celebration, needs you to at least try.”
Twilight emits a frustrated growl that fades into a reluctant sigh. “Okay. I’ll try." In a more determined voice she announces, "Spike! I’ll need the following…”
She makes an extensive list and Spike rushes out to collect the items. “Next, I’ll need constant updates on the swarm’s progress and the damage it has caused. Spare no detail! Any detail, no matter how insignificant it may seem, may be the key to stopping the swarm.”
“Braeburn here is the one that told me about the swarm. Saw it first hoof,” Applejack says, stepping forward with him.
He lowers his head somberly. “First hoof is right. Seemed like the first thing they ate was the flower in my hoof. Then they stampeded through the rest of Appaloosa. They made their way to the orchard, and that’s when I was told to take our entry and skedaddle here. T’ain’t fair. I helped plant that orchard. I should be there defending it. Not here.”
Applejack rests a gentle hoof on Braeburn’s shoulder. “Don’t you worry none. Any damage done to that orchard y’all will turn around lickisplit. And you can have some of our trees.” Then she adds with less optimism, “If they survive.”
The door flies open and Spike rushes in, arms bursting with the requested equipment. Twilight returns her attention to Braeburn. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out once and for all. And we’re friends. We’ll help you rebuild.” The stallion manages a small, forced smile. Twilight takes his detailed account as Spike sets up her work area.
Before long, a number of graphs line the walls. A map of Equestria is marked in three different colors to track where the swarm has hit, is currently at, and is projected to strike next. And in the middle of the floor, surrounded by open texts and huddled over a dense notepad, is Twilight feverishly jotting down notes. Each time a pony enters with an update, she runs to the graphs and map to make notes and adjustments.
That evening, Mayor Mare holds a town meeting, with an exhausted Twilight to give an important report on the swarm. She opens with a brief, though not too brief, history of the swarms and proceeds into the progress of the current swarm. The part about the damage caused and the implications of possible food-shortages draw a number of sighs and concerned whispers.
“But don’t lose heart, everypony! There may be a way to stop the swarm!” The crowd grows silent. Everypony’s attention is back on Twilight. “Manehattan has emerged almost unscathed from the swarm's attack. Although the beetles made their way into the city, very little damage has been reported. I have high confidence in this anomaly due to multiple accounts from different ponies.”
“Can you tell us what makes Manehattan so special?” asks a stallion.
Twilight looks around the crowd. “I’ve looked into cities with every possible similarity to Manehattan. Pollution, population, location, even the weather. But so far… I can’t tell what stopped the swarm.”
There is a moment of somber silence. It is broken by a sad song-like sound. Daisy recognizes it immediately. "The Cries O'Melody Beetle's song! The swarm is here!" She faints as the rest of the ponies gasp and stare in the direction of the sound. In place of a mass of beetles is a bespectacled yellow unicorn mare with a violet mane and tail illuminated by a streetlamp. Beside her is an individual Cries O'Melody Beetle held in her violet magical aura.
“Manehattan has hedgehogs,” she announces.
Twilight cocks her head to the side. “Hedgehogs? How did they stop the swarm, Bookkeeper?”
"More importantly," Applejack cuts in, "what are you doin' with THAT!" She points to the beetle.
"This one is from the Everfree forest, not the swarm. It's been helping me track wild Hedgehogs. Doesn't seem like I'll need it anymore tonight though." Her aura fades and the beetle flies towards the Everfree forest. The song grows quieter the farther away the beetle goes.
Bookkeeper advances through the crowd. Everypony gets a better look at her. The coat is dappled with patches of dust and dirt. Her mane and tail are unkempt and messy, and her thick glasses are scratched and chipped, signs of being dropped. On stage she continues. “I have spent the last three weeks camping in the Everfree, studying a sounder of Hedgehogs. I noticed they have a great appetite for the beetles. Its song seems to lure them into a feeding frenzy. They would stop whatever activity they were doing, whether it grazing or even fighting, to chase them down.”
“And how do you know Manehattan has these Hedgehogs?” Twilight askes.
“I saw them in the city when I visited a friend there a month ago,” Bookkeeper replies.
“Well, it’s settled then!” Mayor Mare says triumphantly. “Ponyville shall acquire a herd…”
“Sounder,” Bookkeeper and Twilight correct her simultaneously.
“…Uh, sounder, of Hedgehogs!” the Mayor finishes. The crowd cheers happily. “I appoint Princess Twilight to bring us our, uh, sounder. And Bookkeeper shall lead the expedition.”
Applejack pushes to the front row. “I’ll go, too. I can’t just go apple-buck’n like everything’s all dandy.”
“I’m sorry, Applejack,” Twilight tells her. “But if the Hedgehogs don’t arrive in time, I need you to help everypony protect our crops and flowers from the swarm.”
“What?” Applejack looks as insulted as she is surprised. “Why I can help y’all wrangle them hogs back here faster than anypony else.”
Bookkeeper shakes her head. “Trust me, you don’t want to try wrangling them. They can be very aggressive and very dangerous. I know you’re tough, Applejack, but they’ll give you a run for your bits.”
“Besides,” Twilight adds. “I think I know somepony that will be more convincing.”
“Who?” many ponies ask together.
Twilight turns to a yellow Pegasus. “Fluttershy.”
“Me!?” She is taken completely off guard.
“Yes,” Twilight smirks. “I’m betting on your affinity with animals to bring those Hedgehogs here quickly.”
“I, uh….” Fluttershy notices everypony staring at her. She hides behind her hair and refuses to talk. Instead, she merely nods her consent to go with Twilight and Bookkeeper.
Mayor Mare looks around. “Anypony else? Are there any more volunteers for the expedition?” There is a pause, and she finally continues, “Very well! Bookkeeper shall lead Princess Twilight and Fluttershy into the Everfree Forest to acquire our own sounder of Hedgehogs!”
The crowd bursts into cheers.
“Maybe we can start tomorrow,” Twilight says shakily. “I’ve been working on this presentation all day and I’m exhausted.”
Bookkeeper nods. “Yeah, tomorrow is better. I'm tired too after hiking through the Everfree all day. Besides, it is especially dangerous at night. I’ll prepare packs for us in the morning. Let’s meet at the library at sunrise.” The three ponies separate and head home.
The next morning, they assemble as instructed at the library. Bookkeeper emerges from inside the library just as the other two girls arrive. "Putting those returns on the shelf was a nice recess from field research," she says smiling. She then points to the packs, which are prepared as promised. Twilight gets an idea as she reaches for hers. "Hey can I check out a book on taming wild animals before we leave?" Bookkeeper shrugs and unlocks the library.
As Twilight disappears into the library, her voice ventures out. "Did I thank you for taking over the librarian position when I became Princess of Friendship?"
Bookkeeper thinks a moment. "Yeah, while this new library here was being built. You miss it? It was my dream job, honestly. Being surrounded by books, including the ones I want to read through. Staying late after closing to read in silence and study."
Twilight emerges with the book already stamped and checked out. "I guess that is why they say you are just like me, only yellow and with a love of alcohol." The two laugh. The library is locked and the book tucked away.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t bring Applejack. She does work with farm animals after all,” Fluttershy asks nervously.
Bookkeeper nods. “I agree with what Twilight said last night. She's needed here. Besides these Hedgehogs aren’t farm animals. They won't appreciate being treated like them. They're wild animals. We have to respect that fact.”
“I know you’re scared, Fluttershy,” Twilight says gently. “But you can talk to animals. We need you to talk to the sounder and convince them to follow us to Ponyville. That’s something Applejack can’t do. That’s why I asked you to come. I need you.”
“I’ve seen her with animals, but I don’t know about talking with them. That's..." she pauses, catching a glance of Fluttershy bracing for a verbal bashing. "Kind of impressive. I guess. But whatever. If it works, so much the better.” Bookkeeper tilts her head toward the forest. “Come on, let’s go. I’m excited to see how to tame these creatures.” She starts walking towards the forest at a quick pace.
Fluttershy swallows loudly. “I don’t know how anypony could be so eager to meet monsters.”
"It will be okay, she knows what she's doing." Twilight assures her. "Come on, I'd like to know more about these Hedgehogs."
The two trot to catch up with Bookkeeper and together the trio enters the forest. "So Bookkeeper. Why were Hedgehogs in Manehattan?" Twilight asks. Bookkeeper's face seems to light up with excitement. Apparently she had been as eager to talk about the creatures as she had been to continue studying them. "They're actually used as hedges. Kind of how the name implies, actually. There are many incidences in Equestria's history of them being used as such, though this is usually overlooked as unimportant."
Twilight's eyes glisten at the implication. "There are books written about their uses in cities?"
Bookkeeper nods. "A few rare books focus on them. It isn't a popular subject. I found my references in Ancient Landscaping: A Practical Guide to Unusual Landscaping Methods of Ancient Equestria."
"Oh I have that one!" Twilight squeals with joy, clapping her front hooves together excitedly.
"You'll love it!" Bookkeeper beams brightly. "It talks all about how Hedgehogs were used to attract tourists and commerce, trained to perform tricks and even pruned into odd shapes and walked through parades."
"Oh my goodness. I would love to see that," Fluttershy grins, lost in the mental image.
"Me too," Bookkeeper agrees. " I'm totally going to Manehattan the next time they have a parade."
"Who trains them though?" Twilight inquires.
"Actually the maintenance ponies do. They are trained to handle the ponies. That Ancient Landscaping book describes how to care for and train them." Bookkeeper says. "But the ponies I spoke to weren't enthusiastic about the training part really. They seemed kind of lazy actually. They were more focused on how great for pest, disease and fungus control Hedgehogs are, since they eat the pests and 'bad' parts of trees and such."
"Oh Applejack will love hearing that," Fluttershy laughs, and the other two girls join in.
Bookkeeper points at Twilight jovially. "Yeah, and Mayor Mare will love this. The Manehattan ponies say their Hedgehogs are easy to maintain and relocate. They prune each other so much they look like daily maintained shrubs, and they'll follow you where ever you go if you lead them right. She'd only have to pay somepony an hour a week tops."
"Pfft," Twilight waves off the jab. "She isn't that cheap."
Bookkeeper snorts a laugh. "Seems like it sometimes," and then her smile vanishes. She stops walking, as do the other two. "Okay, this is where I last saw them. Let’s listen and look for hoof prints. And this will sound weird, but don't get too emotional. Hedgehogs seem to sense all emotions the way other animals sense fear.” The girls nod. They search around for almost an hour before they find a clue of the sounder's location. After following the lead a bit, they find three pigs. Two are about the size of a pony, while Bookkeeper describes the third as a runt, being half the others' size. They look exactly like a well pruned shrub, as had been described earlier. Only these had legs, visible tusks, and glowing eyes.
Fluttershy gives them a good look. “They don’t seem so scary from here.”
“They won’t really seem scary until they get mad.” Bookkeeper turns to Twilight. “So what’s the book say on taming?”
Twilight opens the book and begins reading aloud in a low voice. “The primary method of…”
Bookkeeper holds up a hoof. “Sorry, but just the cliff notes version. These hogs like to wander.”
Twilight nods. “Right. Well, basically, we feed them until they are comfortable with us. So we associate ourselves with food through classical conditioning, and then we change to operant conditioning until we can lead them.” She smiles confidently. “Easy, huh?”
Fluttershy lowers her head. “Oh no. None of us brought food.”
Twilight’s smile flips into an annoyed frown. “Great.”
Bookkeeper digs her hoof into the ground and uncovers a few grubs and a root. “Look I found food for them,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Twilight squints a little. “Bugs? And roots?”
The yellow unicorn nods. “Yeah. Hedgehogs are omnivores, with a diet consisting of of insects, roots and tubers, and other vegetation,” she lists off as if reciting from a text. "Let’s dig around and pull some good leafy branches.”
The three mares separate and collect a considerable mound of food. Twilight grabs a small pile and pushes it into Fluttershy's forelegs. “Okay, it’s time for you to do your stuff.”
A wave of fear sweeps across the Pegasus. In a meek and frightened voice she chokes out, “I, don’t think I can.”
“Of course you can,” Twilight encourages her. “You just said that they don’t’ look so scary, right?”
“But I didn’t have to go up next to them then,” Fluttershy whimpers and shivers in fear.
“You don’t have to touch them,” Bookkeeper assures her. “You just have to put the food down and let them eat it.”
“That’s all?” Fluttershy seems to be more hopeful.
“Yeah, that’s all. Now go on. Remember, that swarm is coming, we have to be brave. I’ll be right here to tell you if things start going sour,” Bookkeeper assures her. "Trust me, I'll know."
Fluttershy nods and steps out of the bushes. The three Hedgehogs see her and instantly jump side by side and curl up. They appear to be nothing more than ordinary hedges, equipped with thorns of course. She looks back towards the other girls.
Bookkeeper pokes her head out of the bushes. “It’s fine. They are just being defensive. They’ll rely completely on their thorns right now.”
Fluttershy looks back to the Hedgehogs. “So they’re just afraid of me?” Her fear seems to melt away into a maternal sense. “It’s okay little piggies. I won’t hurt you. I just brought you some food. Here you go. I promise it’s really tasty.” She lays what she brought in a large pile. It seems to come alive as the insects crawl around on the leafy branches.
All three remain curled up, but Fluttershy feels their eyes on her. When they don’t move towards the pile, Bookkeeper whispers to Fluttershy to back up into the bushes and get out of sight. Instead, the Pegasus continue inviting them. “It’s alright, little piggies. I know you’re scared of me, since I’m a stranger. But I promise I won’t hurt you. I just want to see you, that’s all. And besides, there’s three of you and only one of me.” After this is said, the Hedgehogs slowly uncurl. Cautiously, they advance together to the food offered to them.
As Fluttershy coaxes the three beasts into eating in her presence, Bookkeeper can’t help but narrate anxiously to calm her nerves. “You see how they stick together, side by side. That is how they arrange themselves when they're threatened. The bigger Hedgehogs will encircle the piglets. Then they…”
“Oh that’s just terrible,” Fluttershy says, looking slightly upset and inadvertently cutting off Bookkeeper. She promptly returns to their mound of food and snatches up more. She ventures out slowly to find that the Hedgehogs don’t curl up. “Oh, you all still look so hungry. Here’s some more yummies.” She lays a large branch down first, hiding some bugs and roots behind her tail. When the larger two Hedgehogs starts munching on it, she pushes the roots and bugs towards the runt and winks. “It’ll be our little secret.” The runt at first just eyes her with a tilted head, but then it dives its nose into Fluttershy’s gift. Satisfied, the little Pegasus turns and walks back through the bushes.
Bookkeeper raises an eyebrow at Fluttershy upon her return. “What was that all about?”
Fluttershy signals with her head back towards the Hedgehogs. “Didn’t you see? That poor little piggy didn’t get any roots or bugs. It took the branches off the top and those other two ate all of them. It just didn’t seem fair. I had to make it right.”
“Um, okay,” Bookkeeper responds with a little laugh. “Well they responded good to Fluttershy. Let’s go out together and feed them.” All three mares come out of the bushes slowly. In response to three ponies, the larger Hedgehogs instantly curl up, but the runt doesn't. Instead it follows Fluttershy with its eyes. When the girls lay down the food, the runt is the first to begin eating. The other two quickly follow suit.
“Shouldn’t we make sure they all get equal shares of everything?” Fluttershy asks.
“We should give them space, let them eat and not make them mad or feel threatened,” Bookkeeper responds bluntly.
“There is no fairness in the wild. It is survival of the fittest out here. They get what they grab,” Twilight agrees.
The Hedgehogs gobble up the food, mostly ignoring the girls except for the oblique glance to make sure they haven’t moved. After it is all gone, they looks up expectantly to the ponies.
“This is working great,” Bookkeeper says happily and the girls return to their mound of Hedgehog food.
Twilight opens the book again. “Now that we’ve successfully associated ourselves with food, we can begin the operant conditioning. Usually the first step is getting them close to you, but we need to hurry. I think the first step should be to make physical contact.”
“Oh goodness!” Fluttershy cowers and quivers violently. “I really don’t want to put anypony on the spot, but, Bookkeeper has the most experience with these little piggies. Maybe she should make the first contact.”
Bookkeeper rolls her eyes. “Gee, thanks.” She sighed. “If only I had that Cries O’ Melody Beetle right now. Those bushpigs would love me and this wouldn’t be a problem. Okay, here I go.” Bookkeeper grabs up a bunch of food, including a large thick branch. She creeps out of the bushes anxiously to find the three Hedgehogs still waiting in eager anticipation. “Easy, easy. I’ve got some food for you. Don’t attack. Just let me touch you.” They step forward and begin eating the branch while Bookkeeper keeps it close.
Taking a moment to work up her courage, Bookkeeper takes a deep breath and swallows hard. Finally, she reaches out her hoof. Nervously she inches it toward the nearest hedgehog. It notices her when her hoof is about a foot away and began watching intently. She notice that its thorns begin to come to the surface. The closer she gets, the farther the thorns protrude. This only serves to make her more nervous, which in turn causes her hoof shake. And the more her hoof shakes, the more defensive the bushpig seems to grow.
She's just inches from making contact when the Hedgehog feigns a bite at her hoof. A shriek escapes her mouth as she jerks back her leg. This brings a threatening squeal from all three Hedgehogs. And it is a sound she has heard before. The runt snaps into a spiked ball and the larger two lower their heads and charge. “RUN!” she shouts and bolts for the nearest tree. She scrambles up the trunk and sees Twilight and Fluttershy flee into the air in opposite directions. She looks down to see her two assailants assembles at the base of her protective tower, snarling and squealing. “Don’t ram, don’t ram…” she pleads in a whimper, terrified.
After a few minutes, they turn and walk in a row to their runt. It joins the rear and is led into the bushes. Bookkeeper waits a few minutes before climbing down, trembling slightly and wearing a faint smile. The other two mares rushes to her. “Oh, Bookkeeper! Are you alright?” Twilight askes, looking very concerned.
“By Celestia that was incredible!” The unicorn bursts out. “Oh what a rush. This is why I love field research!”
Twilight and Fluttershy stare at her, surprised at what they heard and saw. Bookkeeper clears her throat and adds in a more moderate tone, “Yeah, yeah, thanks. It didn’t actually bite me. I panicked, sorry.”
Fluttershy sighs in relief. “Thank goodness.“
Bookkeeper lets out her breath. “I’m just glad they didn’t ram the tree like they usually do.”
Twilight inquire, “Like they usually do?”
Bookkeeper nods. “I’ve been chased up trees before. Usually they ram the tree while screaming back at me. Maybe you’re right about…” Bookkeeper pauses mid-sentence.
“What?” Twilight asks, looking sure of herself. “Right about what?”
Bookkeeper’s answer is lined with frustration. “We’re going to have to do this with all of them. Every Hedgehog in the sounder.”
“Huh?” Twilight is noticeably shocked.
Bookkeeper continues, “That book is probably for taming individual animals.” She shakes her head. “This won’t work in time to save Ponyville.”
“Of course it will,” Twilight says in a reassuring tone. “We just have to adjust our approach a little. Associate ourselves with food to the entire sounder at once instead to the individual members as you claim this text instructs. It’s very easy to accomplish.”
“Maybe it will work if you get The Patriarch on board, but I’m not putting my hoof out for him to bite at,” Bookkeeper retorts.
“The Patriarch?” Fluttershy asks quietly.
“He must be the leader of the sounder,” Twilight says quickly. “Every group has to have a leader. So, we’ll just associate ourselves with food to the Patriarch, have Fluttershy give him the stare if force is needed, and be on our way back to Ponyville before the swarm arrives. No big deal.”
Fluttershy swallows hard, visibly nervous.
“It’s not that easy,” Bookkeeper says. “He’s really aggressive, and he'll attack you without warning or provocation If you get too close. And..,”
“Oh that’s fine,” Twilight says. “I’ll just put up a bubble shield and let the little fella tire himself out. A common practice with resistant participants, really.”
“He isn’t some little…” Bookkeeper starts.
“We have our plan,” Twilight interrupts. “Let’s just do it. It’s been proven to work, we just have to adapt it a little to our specific situation.”
“You’re not listening, Twilight!” Bookkeeper says sternly. “You’re plan won’t work!”
“It will work, it’s in the book!” Twilight shoots back, finally growing annoyed.
“Um, excuse me?” Fluttershy asks politely.
“I don’t care what the book says!” Bookkeeper counters in an elevated voice. “It isn’t for this situation!”
“It’s for every situation!” Twilight yells, pointing a hoof at the text.
“Girls?” Fluttershy tries again.
“What?!” the other two yell together.
Fluttershy cowers and then inquires in a whisper, “You hear that?” The three of them listen. For a moment, there is the silence of the forest. But then a faint, sad melody fills the air. Bookkeeper smiles through her surprise. “Oh dear Celestia yes! A Cries O’ Melody is around here somewhere.” All three girls start looking for it.
“Found it!” Twilight calls out triumphantly. Then in a cocky manner she continue. “Since this little fella practically puts Hedgehogs in a trance, per our very own Bookkeeper here, we’ll just jump into operant conditioning and guide that sounder all the way back to Ponyville. Let’s start with the Patriarch.” With the beetle caught in her magic, Twilight heads toward the sounder. When it's in view, the beetle starts flying on its own and the sad song fills the forest. All of the Hedgehogs start towards the sound, almost as if in a trance.
Twilight looked among them, and her confident manner quickly dissolves into a panicked mess. “Oh no! I can’t tell which is the Patriarch! Bookkeeper, please help!”
The unicorn barely looks at those in front of them. ”I don’t see him.”
With her head whipping between the bushpigs and Bookkeeper, Twilight bursts out incredulously, “You didn’t even look! Don’t sabotage my plan! Just tell me which one is the Patriarch!”
“He’s not here! He’s not…” Bookkeeper starts. The lunging of some of the Hedgehogs for the beetle cuts her off.
“Bookkeeper please!!” Twilight pleads, raising the beetle out of reach of the approaching Hedgehogs.
“I’m telling you he isn’t here!” Bookkeeper insists urgently. “I’m not trying to sabotage your plan!”
The Hedgehogs launch towards the beetle again, this time more desperate. Suddenly, and without warning, they squeal and charge straight for Twilight! It is right then that it occurs to her that, as Bookkeeper had earlier suggested, they probably don’t like being treated like farm animals. “YAAAAAA!” Twilight screams as she releases the beetle and runs up the nearest tree. It shakes violently as the Hedgehogs ram the trunk. Twilight clings to the branches, struggling to hold on.
“Twilight! Fly!” Bookkeeper screams out from another shaking tree, barely audible through the strident squealing.
“Oh,” Twilight says and looks at her wings. “I forgot about these.” She flies above the angry sounder. “Where’s the beetle?”
As if in response, a terrifying roar bursts out ahead of them. A massive Hedgehog slowly emerges from the forest, but it is far different from the others. It towers over the rest of the sounder, at least three times the height of Celestia. The body more resembles a the canopy of a tree than a shrub, and it is carried upon four long, thick tree-trunk legs. The song of the beetle finally penetrates the squealing, and upon its sounding, the massive beast comes charging at them. All three girls see it snatch the beetle out of the air midstride.
Bookkeeper shrieks, “The Patriarch! Run! Scatter! Eeee!” She scrambles higher up the tree as the other two ponies fly around in a near panic. Twilight soon finds that the Patriarch has chosen her to chase. And despite her flying as fast as she can, he is gaining on her quickly. Finally Twilight finds an opening in the forest canopy and flies up into the sunlight. Although momentarily blinded, she can hear the Patriarch roar and stomp away.
The three ponies regroup some distance away from the sounder. They are covered in dust, leaves and small branches, but they hardly seem to notice. Bookkeeper rushes up to Twilight. “Oh dear Celestia, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Thanks to you for reminding me of these,” Twilight says flapping her wings.
Bookkeeper lets out a sigh of relief, and then turns an annoyed eye on Twilight. “That, Twilight, is the Patriarch. As you saw, he’s big and mean. Not small like all the other ones!”
Twilight lowers her head. After a moment of silence she speaks. “I was so convinced that this proven method would lead the sounders right to Ponyville without any problems. I was so sure of it that I accused you of trying to sabotage my plan. But you’re the one that knows the Hedgehogs best, not the author of this book. I should have trusted you.” Twilight looks up at Bookkeeper. “I’m sorry.”
The unicorn frowns at Twilight for a moment, but then her expression softens. “It’s fine. Anypony could have made the mistake. Besides, we’re all rushing to get ahead of the swarm.” She sits hard on the ground and buries her face in her forelegs. With a frustrated groan she says, “We’ve wasted all this time and we are no closer to getting that sounder to Ponyville than before!”
“Sure we are,” Twilight says. “We know one way not to get them there. Now we can figure out a method that works.”
“Like what? Making friends with them?” The sarcastic comment reminds her of Fluttershy. “Speaking of which, isn’t that what you’re supposed to be doing?” she demands upon whirling around and giving the Pegasus an angry look.
Fluttershy tries to respond, but she is so surprised at suddenly being targeted by Bookkeeper’s anger that she merely whimpers incoherently.
Bookkeeper jumps to her hoofs. “Just great. We abandon one bad idea to adopt another bad idea. Just great.” She glares at Fluttershy, wanting to vent more. Instead, she turns sharply and starts walking away, leaving Twilight shocked and Fluttershy in tears.
“She’s right,” Fluttershy says, distraught. “I’ve been useless this whole trip.”
“That’s not true!” Twilight tries to calm her. “You helped us feed them, remember?”
“It doesn’t matter. You at least tried something, and Bookkeeper knows so much about the Hedgehogs. You both have something to contribute, but all I am is dead weight.” With a steady flow of tears, Fluttershy turns away and whimpers quietly. Twilight looks on helplessly until deciding to find Bookkeeper.
While Fluttershy cries, she doesn’t hear the slowly approaching Hedgehogs. They look at her and then at each other, approaching slowly. But one in particular steps forward without hesitation. It reaches up and gently pulls a twig from the Pegasus’ coat. With a sniffle and a start, Fluttershy turns to see what had touched her. She recognizes the runt instantly, and she remembers giving it the pile of roots and bugs earlier. For a moment, it simply looks into her teary eyes, its own eyes sad for her. Finally, the little Hedgehog licks her coat where it is dirty.
The small gesture makes Fluttershy well up with more emotion. “Thank you,” she whines and starts crying again. She felt the Hedgehog lick across her belly and then settle in her lap, where it continues to lick and clean her coat. All she can do is hug it gently and cry. The thorns prick her a little, but she barely feels them.
Eventually, her pain subsides. “Thank you little friend.” She says and moves to give the Hedgehog another hug. But she pauses when she sees a spider and its dense web across the leaves. Normally she’d think nothing of it, but it looks as though there is an alphabet letter sewn into the webbing. She then notices a few brown leaves in the coat of her little friend and begins pulling them out. She continues until he is clean. “Is it okay if I name you? I think Wilbur is a wonderful name.”
To her surprise, a few other Hedgehogs approach her and start licking dust from her coat and pulling leaves from her mane and tail. She smiles at them, first faintly in surprise and then brightly in acceptance. Before she can thank them, she hears the voices of Bookkeeper and Twilight in low whispers.
“I can’t believe it!” Bookkeeper says. “She did it!”
“Just like I thought she would. I knew she would come through for us,” Twilight gloats.
“You planned this?” Bookkeeper asks.
“No,” Twilght answers quickly, ”but… oh come on. She’s asking us to come out.
They come out and Bookkeeper asks incredulously, “How did this happen?”
Fluttershy, now smiling softly, explains. “I was just sitting here crying and the Hedgehog that I fed the bugs and roots to came over and started licking me. I think he remembered how nice I was to him, so he felt bad when I was sad. I took out a few brown leaves from his coat and the other Hedgehogs came out and started cleaning me too. They’re all so nice. It’s really wonderful to meet such sweet…. Huh?”
After Fluttershy mentioned the other Hedgehogs cleaning her, Bookkeeper fell into a dazed state of deep thought. It was then that she had an incredible idea. “Fluttershy,” she interrupts the Pegasus. “Would you brush our manes with your wings?” She indicates to herself and Twilight.
“Huh?” Twilight is caught off guard by the very strange request.
“Please. I think I know, er, you found, how to tame them,” Bookkeeper finishes.
Fluttershy, feeling a little strange, nods. Gently, she brushes at their manes with her wings. The Hedgehogs come and begin picking and cleaning Twilight and Bookkeeper, both of whom are frozen in fear. Against her better judgement, Bookkeeper reaches down and pulls a misplaced tree twig out of the back of a Hedgehog that isn't cleaning her. It immediately turns and gently licks dirt off her coat.
Bookkeeper smiles excitedly. “Pruning! That’s the secret! I’ve observed them pruning each other, but I never thought it was the key to getting us close enough to lead them to Ponyville. How could I have been so dense?”
Twilight laughs softly. “You’d be surprised how often us smart ponies have moments like that.” She then reaches over and plucks a brown leaf from the coat of one of the Hedgehogs. And just like that, she can feel the friendship burgeon into existence.
Their moment of joy is interrupted by a heavy thud. The three ponies look to find that the entire sounder has ventured upon them. In the middle of it all is the Patriarch. He lays down and every Hedgehog immediately walks over and begins pruning him. The three mares decide not to be exceptions. They too start pulling brown and spot-riddled leaves from his coat and pulling fungus-covered bark flakes from his legs. In return, each Hedgehog is sniffed and nibbled by the Patriarch. When it gets to them, it pauses as if confused. The three Hedgehogs that first accepted the mares nibble at their coats. The Patriarch tilts his head, but then it licks the girls’ manes.
“Now how do we get them back to Ponyville?” Twilight asks.
Bookkeeper rubs her chin a second and lifts her head suddenly. “Single file behind me. Just follow along. This is how they travel.” They makes a line and the yellow unicorn begins leading it through the sounder. The three hedgehogs that had first befriended them fell in step behind them. Very quickly the entire sounder joins the line. Bookkeeper leads it in front of the Patriarch and starts towards Ponyville. She looks back to find him following at the rear.
They tromp through the forest, following a barely visible trail back to Ponyville. Never do any of the Hedgehogs pull away from the line. The lack of delay turns out to be the saving grace for Ponyville. For after a short while, the forest opens to reveal the pony town.
A few stray Cries O’ Melody Beetles are flying around. In the light of day, they can be seen. They appear to be ordinary brown beetles common to any garden. The only defining difference is on the elytra over the wings. In place of spots there are what appear to be blue musical notes with a watery head that runs off the sides and a flag that ends in a droplet. As far as anypony can determine, they are scouts for the swarm, finding food sources and sending scents into the wind to summon their kin to the feast. They don’t land, they only hover, filling the air with their sad song. And now that song is being answered by a symphony. The song made by the swarm. The Lamentation of Famine it has been called. It's chilling to anypony that hears it, and it is sending shivers down Bookkeeper’s spine.
She and the girls lead the Hedgehogs into town and where they break up the line. The Patriarch immediately takes charge and leads a new line to form a barrier between Ponyville and the approaching swarm. A barrier that begins marching out to meet the swarm. And the swarm, to the surprise of everypony, dives on the Hedgehogs.
It dawns on Bookkeeper then that the Lamentation of Famine equates to the Hedgehog’s dinner bell, and the scent of the Hedgehogs is a powerful attractant to the Cries O’ Melody Beetles. The result is a feeding frenzy on the doorstep of Ponyville, the likes of which nopony has ever seen. The Hedgehogs jump into air, scooping mouthfuls of beetles out of the wind each time. The beetles swarms over the Hedgehogs, gnawing at their leafy bodies before being picked off by a pruning neighbor.
The entire town seems to have come out to watch as its newly found sounder is apparently being devoured by the swarm. But they all soon see why the Hedgehogs always remain at the end of the feast. As they eat, new growth occurs at an accelerated rate, making for a never ending supply of healthy foliage to replace what is eaten. But no such mechanism exists for the swarm, and over the course of an hour, the number of beetles begins to dwindle. In the end, a few stray beetles fly away, no longer succumbing to the swarm mentality that had called them to the Hedgehog’s scent. And the citizens of Ponyville cheer them on their way.
Everypony is introduced to the Hedgehogs. Each prunes a member of the sounder and is pruned in return. The last pony to perform the action is Mayor Mare herself, who, upon completion, happily announces that the sounder is officially Ponyville’s. The Hedgehogs disperse throughout the town and curl up to sleep.
Later that week, ponies from across Equestria flood Ponyville. The Summer Solstice Celebration is a huge success. The Flower Festival’s display of the flowers from across Equestria draws both crowds and admiration. Petal Taste Testing introduces ponies to new flavors and delicacies. But the main event, that has brought everypony to Ponyville, is the Sunflower Petal Competition.
Mayor Mare takes a paper from Head Judge Applejack. “And the winner of this year’s Sunflower Petal Competition is… Manehattan!! Congratulations!”
The three flower girls of Ponyville faint together. “The horror!”
“Not to worry,” Bookkeeper says to the flower girls. “Word is they had a secret ingredient: Hedgehog clippings. Apparently, it is very good fertilizer for Sunflowers. And now, we’ve got our very own suppliers.”
She looks over to a few Hedgehogs and smiles. Between the arrival of Ponyville’s sounder and the Summer Solstice festival, she had finished her first book about Hedgehogs, delineating the bushpig's behavior in the wild. She is eager to start on her second, describing the behavior of tamed Hedgehogs. With notepad and pencil in hoof, her observations begin.
