A Boyfriend Without a Girlfriend

by Jay David

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Trixie, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 4455

Anypony wanders around Canterlot in search of a mare he can be a boyfriend to

Anypony, a stallion made from the magic of Princess Celestia, had one purpose in life; to serve as a boyfriend to Twilight Sparkle and her friends. Unfortunately for him, the mares in question didn't actually want a boyfriend. This, as you might expect, was quite a predicament for the young stallion. His solution? Go out and find another mare he can be a boyfriend to of course!

After all, what's the worst that could happen to him on a quest like that?

Published 2015-08-14 22:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-14 22:50:01 UTC

A Boyfriend Without a Girlfriend

I sit in the corner of the room, saying nothing as I watched the two sisters speak to each other. Granted, I can't actually talk, but even if I could, I like to think I'd just let them carry on without interrupting them. My name is Anypony, and I'm a homunculus. I have no magic of my own, so I'm a little new to all of this, but from what my creator told me, that basically means that I was born from magic. Not born in the same flesh and blood manner as other ponies, but even so, I breathe like them, I have a beating heart like them, and for all outwards appearances, I am one of them. And yet, one thing sets me apart. I was made for a reason. And that reason was to be a boyfriend. Specifically, I was to serve as a boyfriend to my creator's student, Twilight Sparkle, as well as her friends. My ears drop slightly as I consider that, and sadness fills my heart as the memories of my meeting with them resurfaces. They didn't want me. I mean, Miss Pinkie seemed interested, but after speaking with Miss Twilight, they all just sent me back to my creator. They...they just didn't want me. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I just wasn't a good enough boyfriend for them. Maybe...maybe I just need to try harder. My eyes drift upwards as I look upon my creator, Princess Celestia, as she speaks to her sister, Luna. The younger sister seems upset by something. It’s clear in her voice.

"What were you thinking, sister?!" she calls out.

My creator narrows her eyes.

"I was doing her a favour! How could I have predicted that she would just reject him like that?" she replied.

But Luna doesn't seem satisfied with that answer.

"Ugh! Putting aside how unwise it is that you meddle in relationships like that, there's also the..."

Her expression softened as she pauses, turning to look right at me.

"...the somewhat controversial decision of how you went about it."

I look to her, smiling all the time, and yet, for some reason, Luna seems uncomfortable. She turned from me, looking right back to her sister, who lets out a sigh before speaking.

"I had a feeling you'd say that Luna. But I assure you, Anypony was not made for any unworthy purpose. He was to serve as a boyfriend. A companion. Now tell me, how is that a bad thing?"

Although it confuses me, Luna looks to my creator with an expression that shows that she is surprised by such a question.

"How is...sister...he can't even talk. How exactly do you expect him to form a meaningful relationship with Twilight or anypony else if he can't even communicate with them?"

At that, Celestia pauses for a moment, looking from her sister to me and then back again. In the end, she lets out a sigh, hanging her head slightly.

"Okay...perhaps I might have put more emphasis on some areas of his development over others. I admit that. But..."

But Luna raised her hoof, stopping her.

"No buts! You created a life to serve a specific purpose! Granted, you did it with the best of intentions, but there’s no debate that this is very unethical territory you've strayed into, sister."

They go on like this for some time, talking about my creation and whether or not it was right to do. As for me, I just sit there, listening to every word. All I want is to be a boyfriend, and I don't understand why Luna is so unhappy right now. Is it me? Did I do something wrong? I can do better, if she wants. I can try and look happier if that's the problem. But, while I think that over, I only then notice that the two sisters, while still arguing, begin to move out of the room. They don’t look at me as they leave, and soon I'm all alone in the there. I'm not quite sure what to do now, so I wait. Maybe they'll come back for me? So, I sit, looking up at the nearby clock and counting the moments as they fly by. Every once in a while, I look down to my chest, where the invoice and letter from Miss Twilight is still stuck to my brown fur, right where she left it. Gradually, I start patting my hoof on the floor as time moves ever onwards. I even try making a tune out of the sounds I make, though it's hardly a good one. Another minute passes by. Then a second. A third. Five minutes. Ten. Twenty. In the end, a full hour passes, and still no sign of the two sisters. My ears drop slightly. Have they forgotten me? Are they even still talking about me, wherever they are? I don't know. But, what I do know is that, wherever they are, I'm no good to anypony just sitting here alone.

I was made to be a boyfriend, and I can't do that if I just stay in one room forever. Miss Twilight didn't want me, and as much as that makes me sad I have to accept that. Luna didn't want me either, even after Celestia tried to get her to like me. Maybe...maybe there are mares out there, in the city, that might want me? I was made to love, to listen, to cuddle and kiss and do all the things a boyfriend is supposed to. It's my reason for being, and I have to fulfil that. So, with a smile still on my face, I stand up at last, walking out of my creator's room, ready to go out and find somepony to love. I poke my head out of the door, looking both ways, seeing nothing but long hallways either way. In the end, I go left, and just keep on walking. It's a beautiful place, this palace. I never paid much attention to it on my first day of life, as Princess Celestia sent me in that box soon afterwards. Still, I have no time to focus on scenery, for I soon encounter other ponies. These ones are covered in golden metal of some kind, and just stand perfectly sill along every other column of the hallways. I think they might be guards, though I'm not sure exactly what they're guarding as there's nopony else here. I walk past them, hoping not to disturb them, passing by stallion after stallion. Occasionally, they give me a look, but nothing else happens beyond that.

But then, to my surprise, I find a mare among them, clad in the same armour as the rest of them. I stop immediately, standing before her and smiling widely, hoping to catch her attention. But she doesn't speak to me. She doesn't even look at me. She just...stares at the wall on the other side of the room, like she was a statue. I turn, looking at the wall myself, trying to see if there's anything really interesting about it that would cause her to stare at it so much. But there's nothing there, just white marble like everywhere else. Well...maybe she's just really into marble perhaps? It doesn't make sense to me, but then, a lot of things haven't made sense to me since I first started living. Instead, I shake my head and look to her, giving her an enthusiastic wave. Again, she doesn't look to me. Several minutes pass with me standing in front of her, waiting for her to just acknowledge me. But she doesn't. At first, my instincts are for my ears to droop again, but I resist. After all, it isn't right for me to make her feel sad just because I am. That's not what a good boyfriend does, even if I’m not technically her boyfriend. Instead, I just smile and wave goodbye to her, getting back on my way. I pass by a few other guards, but no other mares, so I figure it's probably time for me to just head on out of the palace entirely.

This place is a maze, that much is for sure, and I found myself getting lost quite a few times. It'd be nice to be able to ask for directions, but...well...that's kind of hard to do with no voice. A pang of guilt passes through me with that thought. Bad Anypony! Princess Celestia wasn't wrong in making you this way, so don't go around regretting little things like that. So I don’t have a voice, so what? I can still be a good boyfriend without one, I'm sure of it! And with that thought, my smile returns, and I trot on in earnest, eventually finding, to my delight, the way out of the palace. As I step outside, I see just how sunny and beautiful the day is, and I sigh in contentment at the sight of it. But, I know there's no time to admire it right now, for I have a task to perform. So I set out, walking amongst the many ponies in the streets. Most of the mares I see all seem to be involved with other stallions in some way, so it's a while before I actually find out who's all alone. When I do, I tilt my head slightly when I see her. At first, I think to myself that the mare before me looks remarkably like Miss Twilight, aside from her colouring of course. But there's also rather bigger differences, like that distinct turtleneck sweater, her thick black glasses and the way she has her mane tied up. Still, she's all alone, face-deep in a book hovering before her, so I walk on over there to greet her.

She sits alone, on a bench at the side of the street, doing nothing but read. As for me, I walk up to her and just stand there, smiling at her. It takes a while, but eventually, she notices me. At first, there's some confusion on her part, and she adjusts her glasses before speaking at last.

"Can I help you?"

I continue to smile at her, moving over to sit beside her on the bench. But, the moment I do so, she starts scooting away from me slightly, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"Um...I mean no offense, Sir, but I'm rather busy at the moment. If you have no important business here...well...could you please leave me alone?"

Rejection. It's not the first time I've felt it, but luckily for me, I think I'm getting used to it by now. So I don't put up a fuss, and instead just hop off the bench and give a slight bow of my head to the young mare before walking off, continuing my search. I don't know what becomes of the mare I leave behind me, but I'm sure she's fine. She didn't want me, and I have to respect her wishes on that. So, I simply keep on walking with that same smile on my face, passing by many a mare on my way, In the few instances I'm able to find some on their own, their reactions were more-or-less the same as that of the first, either discomfort or disinterest. Still, no matter, I'm sure I can be a boyfriend to somepony, I just need to keep looking. Time moves on and still no luck in my search, and I'm beginning to reach the outskirts of Canterlot. I wonder to myself if I'll ever be able to find anypony to be a boyfriend to, and it is here that I see her. It's near the train station of the city, and there's a make-shift stage set up nearby. A crowd gathers before it, drawing my interest. As I approach, I see a blue unicorn mare atop that stage, wearing a rather odd-looking cape and hat. She stands confidently before the crowd, gesturing to them before speaking in a loud manner.

"Gather, friends! See the great and powerful Trixie in all her magnificence!"

Her declaration is followed by a display of magic that immediately impresses me. Conjuration of fireworks, creation of flowers out of thin air, and all manner of other wondrous things. Granted, I haven't witnessed that much magic in my life, but my own lack of it means that to me, these are truly incredible feats before me. I look on in awe at her, only to notice that those in the rest of the crowd don't seem anywhere near as interested. If anything, they looked bored, though I couldn't understand why. The show carries on for some time, and Miss Trixie tries many different spells, but it seems that the crowds don’t seem interested, and begin to leave. A look of disappointment crosses the mare's face, but only briefly, for she continues her act. In time, only I remain to watch her, and it is here that she finishes her final spell, which, as usual, ends in a flurry of fireworks. With the show now over, I clap my hooves together to show my approval of it all, though the mare seems less than enthusiastic about it.

"Trixie thanks you for the approval, but the show is over, Sir."

I stop, and watch her climb off the stage, seeing her move over to what looks like a few boxes for her to store her things in. I begin to walk over to her, keeping my eyes on her while still smiling. Eventually, she notices me, raising an eyebrow.

"Trixie said the show is over, friend. You can go home now."

But I don't go home. Instead, I just sit where I walked to, keeping my eyes locked on the mare before me. In time, she seems to grow annoyed by this.

"Trixie has no time for fans right now. So...you know...shoo or something."

She doesn't want me. Yet again I find myself standing to move away. But, before I get the chance to do so, I hear her voice yet again.

"Wait...what's that?"

I stop and see her pointing at something at my chest, and only now do I realise that I’ve been carrying that letter and invoice the whole time. Trixie moves towards me and, in a single motion of her hoof, takes both things off the fur of my chest. There's a brief sting as she does this, but not enough to really bother me. She whips out both sheets of paper and starts to read them, her eyes going from left to right as she takes in every line. Eventually, her expression changes from the annoyance it had been before to one of curiosity, and then to shock. In time, she looks to be with disbelief plastered all over her face.

"A...a homunculus?"

I nod, confirming her curiosity. She seems astounded at that, and raises a hoof, seeming hesitant for some reason. But soon, she gets over it and places that hoof over my chest, feeling my heartbeat, and the moment that happens, she backs away.

"That...that's incredible!"

I impress her, and that's something which brings a smile right back to my face again. But still, I remain in place as she keeps looking over the letter. Gradually, a look of slight annoyance returns to her.

"A boyfriend? For...for Sparkle?"

She knows Miss Twilight? That's a surprise for me. But then, Miss Twilight IS a very interesting mare, so maybe they were old friends at one point? Regardless, I nod to her again, and she looks away briefly. Silence passes between us for a time, and I wait patiently for her to say or do something. After a few moments, something does happen, and Trixie turns to me with another raised eyebrow.

"So...you were made to be a boyfriend?"

I nod.

"To Twilight?"

I nod again.

"And...she didn't want you?"

I pause before nodding again. Trixie seems to think things over for a moment before, to my surprise, breaking out into a smile. But this is different from the kind of smile Miss Pinkie would have. There's something else to it, something I don't think I've ever seen before when a mare looked at me. Before I can react, Trixie casts aside the letter and walks up to me, and I briefly note that her hips are slightly swaying as she does so.

"Well...a poor little stallion like you can't be lonely, now can you? You need to be a boyfriend to a mare, yes? How about you be one to Trixie? Would that make you happy?"

I break out into the biggest smile I've ever had. A mare wants me as her boyfriend? Will my purpose be fulfilled? I nod with enthusiasm, prompting Trixie's smile to widen further, as she take a closer step, raising her hoof and caressing the side of my face.

"Well then...she we go back to my caravan and...shall we say...test just how good a boyfriend you are?"

She wants me to see how good I am? I'm not entirely sure what that means exactly, but if my new girlfriend wants me to do something for her, then I'm more than willing to do so. I nod again, giving her my answer, and she nods back, gesturing with her head for me to follow her. I do so, still smiling, happy in the knowledge that I’m finally going to be able to do what I was made for.

"Anypony?"

I stop at the sound of the familiar voice, as does Trixie, and both of us turn, our expressions becoming ones of surprise as we see the one behind us. It's Twilight! Why is she here? If I had a voice, I'd ask her, but Trixie seems willing to do just that.

"Wha...what are you doing here?"

Twilight narrows hr eyes at Trixie.

"I came to visit my family. The bigger question is, what are you doing with Anypony?"

Trixie turns to me with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, is that what his name is? Wow, how original."

For the moment, Twilight ignores her, and instead looks to me with some concern.

"Anypony...does the princess know you're out here?"

I don't know if Celestia knows what I'm doing right now, so I shrug my shoulders in response to that. Twilight stares at me in silence for a while before then looking back to Trixie.

"Trixie, what exactly do you plan to do with Anypony here?"

The blue mare scoffs at that before answering.

"Since you decided that you didn't want him, Twilight, I don't see how it's any of your business. But if you must know, I plan on giving the lad here a...shall we say, good time?"

Oh, so that's what Trixie wanted me to do. Well, that's no problem. I'm willing. After all, that's one of the duties boyfriends do when called upon, and if that what Miss Trixie wants of me, then I have no issue with it. But Twilight, for some reason, seems upset by that.

"You...you can't!"

Trixie smiles in that same way she did before.

"Oh, but Trixie can. Tell her, Anypony. You’re okay with this, aren't you?"

I nod, letting Twilight now that I am indeed fine with what Miss Trixie want to do with me. But still, the lavender mare seems conflicted.

"But...but...you still shouldn't do this!"

Trixie raises an eyebrow at that.

"Oh? Then tell Trixie...give her one reason why she can't do this."

Twilight looks from Trixie to me and then back again. She seems, for some reason, really conflicted over something, as if she was having a massive mental fight with herself. A look of slight embarrassment crosses her face, though I'm not sure why, and after a great deal of silence, she finally speaks.

"Because...because Anypony is...because he's my boyfriend!"

Elation. That is what I feel right now. I'm Twilight's boyfriend?! The one I was made for actually wants me?! I'm no longer rejected?! I smile more than ever before, rushing past Trixie and embracing Twilight tightly in a hug, taking her aback somewhat. I can't see her face, but can still feel her pat my back slightly as I hug her, though it seems a somewhat half-hearted attempt. As for Trixie, I hear her behind me.

"Wha...but...but...you didn't want him!"

Twilight speaks up, and her voice is stern.

"If it keeps him getting...well...you know...then I guess this is how it has to go."

I part from Twilight, looking over to Trixie, and I see the anger in her face. I don't want to upset her. She wanted me as her boyfriend after all, and I’m grateful to her for that. But Twilight is the one I was made for. Her wanting me takes precedence over everything else. Still, I don’t want Trixie leaving upset because of this, so I move over to her and, in a move that clearly surprises her, I hug her too. She stops for a moment, looking completely confused and bewildered by my behaviour, as does Twilight for that matter. When I move away from the blue mare, she stares at me with confusion, not quite sure what to say. Eventually, she looks over to Twilight, who just shrugs her shoulders, showing that she's just as much in the dark as Trixie is. After some silence between them, Trixie clears her throat before speaking.

"Yes...well...Trixie will leave for now, Twilight, She remembers well what happened the last time we fought over anything, so is unwilling to press the matter. Consider yourself lucky! Trixie away!"

She rears onto her hind legs and slams her front hooves into the ground, creating a massive cloud of smoke. But, when it clears, Twilight and I both see that she's still there, standing beside her caravan.

"Actually, Trixie remembers that she lives here, so why don't you leave for once."

I turn, looking to Twilight, and she stares at me for a time before sighing and gesturing with her head for me to follow, which I do. As we move away from the show-mare, Twilight looks to me, looking a combination of both nervousness and guilt.

"Um...Anypony? I want you to know that I did what I did back there to protect you."

I look to her with confusion, prompting her to explain herself.

"I didn't want Trixie, or any other mare for that matter, taking advantage of you. I know relationships are still something you don't really understand yet, so you need to know you could have been in a bad situation back there."

I tilt my head, still confused. Twilight sighs, looking to me.

"Look...you're nice, and I know you really want this, but I just don't think that..."

"Anypony! There you are!"

Twilight and I stop walking, surprised at the interrupting voice, which sounds very familiar to both of us. We turn in unison, and gain looks of surprise as we see, as expected, that Princess Celestia and her sister, Luna, have both arrived, flying down from the sky. They land on the ground, with the former rushing towards me with concern plastered all over her face.

"Oh Anypony! I was so worried and...Twilight?"

The young mare beside me gives a bow to her mentor before speaking up.

"Greetings, princess. I'm happy to see you."

But Celestia just looks to her with confusion.

"What...what are you doing with Anypony?"

Twilight turns to me for a moment before letting out a sigh.

"Well...you see..."

But she's stopped when Celestia speak up again.

"Wait...I think I understand what's going on here."

Twilight looks to her with some confusion.

"You...you do?"

Celestia nods before, to Twilight's surprise, breaking out into a massive smile.

"And I'm so happy for you both!”

Twilight takes a step back after hearing that.

"Wait...what?!"

Celestia claps her two front hooves together while plastered with that happy smile of hers.

"Oh, I just knew you’d love Anypony if you gave him a chance!"

"But..." Twilight starts.

"Oh, I assure you, he'll be the perfect boyfriend to you, my student."

"But...!"

"He'll love and care for you well, I can promise you that!"

"But...!"

But Celestia raises a hoof.

"No need to thank me, I can see it in your face. Oh, I absolutely must tell Cadence about this! She’ll be so happy! Oh, and Anypony? Treat her well, you hear me?"

I smile and salute to her and watch as she flies off, with Twilight standing there with mouth agape at all this. I move to her, holding her close in a hug once more, as she remains as still as a statue. Meanwhile, Luna, who had been standing there quietly this whole time with a hoof upon her forehead, walks over to Twilight and places a hoof on the young mare's shoulder.

"I am so, so sorry about this."

Yet again, I find myself in the main chamber of the Golden Oak Library, back in Ponyville. I am standing next to Twilight, the wonderful mare that I am to be a boyfriend to, nuzzling her with my head with an affectionate smile upon my face. She doesn't smile back, and instead looks somewhat embarrassed about all this. Don't worry Twilight, I think to myself, I'll just nuzzle you even more! That'll help, I'm sure of it! As we stand together, me nuzzling more enthusiastically than before, the lavender mare looks ahead, seeing the other mares gathered before her. Miss Rainbow, Miss Applejack, Miss Fluttershy, Miss Rarity and Miss Pinkie are all there, looking at the two of us with mixed reactions. Out of all of them, Miss Pinkie seems the happiest and most enthusiastic about my return, as evidenced by the enormous smile on her face. As for the others, they seem both surprised and confused by my presence, and Twilight looks to each of them, unsure of what to say. After a long while of silence, the mares give each other a glance before Rarity starts to move closer, speaking to Twilight in a somewhat hushed manner.

"Um...Twilight, darling?"

Twilight lets out a sigh before replying.

"Yes, Rarity?"

"Would you care to explain why the young stallion here has returned to your abode?"

Twilight's eyes dart to me as I continue to nuzzle her before looking back to her friend. After a while, she lets out a somewhat nervous chuckle.

"You know...you're going to laugh when you hear this."

But Rarity raised an eyebrow at that.

"Are we?"

In time, Twilight slumps her shoulders and sighs.

"No, not really."

Twilight seems depressed, but I'm not worried. I know I can make her feel better. It's part of my job. My reason for being. After all...I was born to be a good boyfriend.