De-stress the Princess

by ArtColter

Rating: mature
Tags: Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 4214

Princess Celestia has had a long day at court. It is time to unwind.

Princess Celestia has had a long day at court. A full day of snobbish nobles and ponies arguing about inconsequential nonsense.

She needs a break. So she goes to the only being in Equestria who doesn't treat her like some omnipotent Goddess. And that is because he's not Equestrian at all.

This Story Was Featured!

Now with a reading by Scarlett Blade! (Not sure if I'm allowed to link it or not.)

Published 2015-08-13 15:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-13 15:40:01 UTC

How Celestia Takes Her Tea

Looking out a near-by window, I gazed at the sun's position for a moment. By my estimation, I was right on schedule. Turning back to the stove, I watched for a moment as the water boiled in the kettle. However, as the old saying goes, 'A watched pot never boils', so I didn't for long.

Even after almost two years in this land, I still didn't understand why Celestia was so adamant that I made, and shared, her afternoon tea. She literally had servants whose sole job it was to make her morning and evening tea, but for some reason she had singled me out to make her, as she called it, unwind tea.

It was the same thing every day. Celestia would hold court, then we would have tea. This had been the routine for the last nine months. Sure I did things other than being a gigantic moocher, but, to tell you the truth, I saw this as the highlight of my day. It was extremely humbling to talk with royalty on a daily basis, and even though I saw both her and Luna everyday either way, it was still nice to have some personal time.

FFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Well, there went the kettle. Guess that old saying rings true sometimes. In any case, as per usual, I carefully took the kettle off and poured the piping hot water into a pair of teacups. The rest I put into a magical container of sorts which will keep the water at the same boiling temperature almost indefinitely, ensuring that one can take their sweet time with their tea.

The next important bit was choosing the right kind of tea. The pantry was stocked with dozens of options, ranging from chamomile to jasmine, green herbal to black. I know that I should pick this out at the beginning of this process, but I always save it for this moment. Celestia is very partial to jasmine, with good reason, but we've had that three days in a row, and I feel like something different. However, nothing really struck my fancy at the moment, so I picked at random. Without even looking, I dropped the tea bags into their respective cups. Given my luck, I picked jasmine anyway.

No sooner had I placed the teacups on a little silver tray did I hear a series of very loud hoofsteps coming in my direction. No offense meant, but only one pony I knew stepped so loudly. It was like the Royal Canterlot Voice in trotting form.

As expected, the door to the tea parlor burst open, and in strode Princess Celestia. As I said, we had been doing this for nine months, and I had never seen her so, to say it nicely, looking like she would tear out her mane. She sat down in her chair on one side of the table without so much as a 'Hello, Guy' and began to do the thing that was the entire point of these get-togethers: she vented.

"By Luna's moon, that was a pain in the ass," Celestia began, throwing all pretensions of class out the window.

"One of those days, hmm," I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"Yes, Guy," her royal highness replied almost with a hint of sarcasm, "one of those days."

"On a scale from 1 to Discord," I questioned, finally bringing over the tea tray and setting Celestia's cup in front of her as she pondered.

"Discord and Chrysalis' bastard foal," she stated with all the venom you would expect.

"Hmm...well I'm--"

"You would think that those morons would know better than to piss off an entity who could banish them to the moon without even having to think about it," Celestia ranted in earnest, "But no, they have no such qualms, none at all. Because they know that if I even insinuated doing such a thing, that would make me evil or something like that. I'm not evil, am I?"

"Of course not," I answered dutifully before taking a sip of my tea. Jasmine, of fucking course.

"I mean, yes, I've done some things I'm not proud of. I banished Luna to the moon, I turned Discord to stone, I dematerialized Sombra. But those were all for the benefit of my little ponies. I wouldn't just do something out of anger or rage just because I felt like it. If that was the case, I would have done it centuries ago.

Celestia paused long enough to take a sip of her tea, which caused her to flash a satisfied smile.

"But enough of my pouting. It really isn't fair to you for me to go on and on like this every single day."

"By all means Celestia, let it out. You remember it was you who told me to do the same thing when I first got here and was depressed. Hell, you cancelled day court once just to make sure I didn't do anything stupid."

"Well, you are a citizen and a subject, I could not in good conscience go on with my day as if there wasn't an alien being trying his damndest to adjust and having a hard time of it. If I did, that would make me a bad princess, and a bad friend."

"In that spirit," I said, moving my teacup to the side for the time being, "what can I, as your friend, do for you?"

"Do what you've always done," Celestia answered after another sip, "You offer Luna and me something that few others can: a forum, a comfort zone where we can talk about things that we simply can't with other ponies. To be honest, you were the ninth friend Luna has ever had, and you were the only one to approach her first. And, as for me, you are the only being in this castle, outside of Luna, who doesn't treat me like their mother. Everypony walks on eggshells around me, as if they are afraid of something.

At this point, Celestia's expression did a one-eighty. She went from smiling ranting to the look one gets when a very bad light bulb turns on in their head.

"Are they afraid?"

"I'm certainly not. Or, at least, I wasn't once I got to know you. Meeting ponies that could talk and do magic and fly was a little nerve-rattling at first, yes, but I got past it. Hell, you remember when I met Twilight, I think she was actually afraid of me."

"True," my companion chortled.

"Now, I can't speak for other ponies, since I'm not one. But you are right about one thing, they see you as their mother-figure. The one that will guide them and help them when they need it. Nobody should be afraid of their mother, and you have certainly not done anything, in my estimation, that would cause them to fear you in the slightest."

Celestia perked up significantly from this. The funny thing, to me at least, is that she already knew everything I had just said. Just one of those things where sometimes a person needs to be told what is precisely in front of their face.

With all the good feelings going around, I decided to do something that I saved for special occasions. I rose from my seat and made my way around to Celestia's end of the table. Celestia saw what was coming, and turned to meet me as I gave the solar princess a hug. I wrapped my arms around her neck, as I normally did as not to get in the way of her wings. However, unlike most times, when Celestia would simply tap my shoulder with a hoof, this time she cocooned me with her large wings. I had found early on that the princess enjoyed hugs just like everypony else, and since I was one of the few creatures on the planet that could give her one properly, she reveled in them even more.

When I broke off the hug, Celestia did not completely release me. Her wings stopped my retreat at the very point where she could face me, muzzle to face. She gave me a smile, one that I returned. We held there for a few seconds before she darted her muzzle forward to catch me on the lips. My eyes were caught open as Celestia kissed me. I could see that her eyes were closed and she had an extremely peaceful and pleasant look on her face. However, by the time my brain caught up and moved to reciprocate, the sensation was gone.

Celestia's face was still the only thing in my field of vision, and she did not look as peaceful as she did only a moment ago.

"You did not kiss back," she said with a melancholy undertone which made my heart and stomach hurt.

"Sorry," I replied meekly, licking my lips to buy myself time, "I just wasn't expecting it. Perhaps if you gave me warning next time?"

Her smile thankfully returned, and I internally breathed a sigh of relief.

"OK, we'll call that one a mulligan. I'm coming for another one."

And she did just that, but this time I was prepared. As her lips once again met mine, I angled my head to the right to catch them at an angle. Now I had never kissed a mare before, or anything with a muzzle for that matter, so I just went with my gut. Fortunately, I seemed to be right, as the sensation caused my eyes to flutter shut and I allowed myself to become lost in the feeling.

Her lips tasted like vanilla with a hint of the jasmine tea like flavored syrup on ice cream. Instantly, I was hooked on the flavor, doing everything in my power to engrave it into memory. For her part, Celestia moaned softly into my mouth, a sound that intensified when I instinctively tried to reach my hands around her, only to find her wings, and naturally, her feathers.

Celestia broke for air, panting and licking her lips. She looked at me with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes that I had never thought possible. I was probably doing the same thing, but like hell was I concentrating on what I was doing. I didn't have to worry about that long as Celestia soon assaulted my lips again, putting more force behind it this time, as if she was starving. This time, she unfurled her wings, brought her hooves up, and pushed me back with them. She stepped off her chair, our lips still locked. My hands now free to do as they pleased, I brought my left to the back of her neck while my right dove into her mane. Her moans increased as I did this, obviously finding my hands and fingers enjoyable.

This time, there was not a full break. Yes, our lip-lock ended, but Celestia's mouth continued to work. She kissed down my left side, my cheek, my neck, my collarbone. I just stood there, my right hand still streaming through her mane, trying to maintain my composure. When Celestia finally ended her assault, I was weak in the knees and a bit light-headed.

"I'm going to teleport us, OK?"

It was so nice of her to warn me. I didn't usually have a problem with magic in general, but teleportation was known to sometimes give me motion sickness. I simply closed my eyes and nodded my understanding as the sound of her horn at work filled my ears. When that died down, I opened my eyes.

Celestia had brought us to her room. I had only been there on a handful of occasions, but it was pretty distinct, with the giant four-post bed and multiple engravings that matched her cutie mark.

I would have asked what she had planned, but she didn't give me the chance. Soon, her suddenly shoe-less forehooves were over my shoulders and we were once again making out. Her position was completely unnecessary, as we stood eye to eye normally. However, it did give me the chance to finally reach my arms around her barrel, doing the dual work of holding her for fun and holding her to make sure that I didn't fall over.

When Celestia had once again had her fill, she got off me and quickly revved up her magic. In a flash, my t-shirt was gone, revealing the fit, but not crazy muscular, physique that came with the hours of swimming I did a day. The princess again came at me, but instead of the kissing, she once again licked and sucked at my neck, then my collarbone, before making her way down my chest. She almost greedily licked around every muscle contour she could fine. I'll admit that it was a little weird, but it was also really hot to have a mare, a sexy one at that, enjoy my body so much.

"Why are you doing that," I asked between breaths.

Celestia giggled before raising her head to look at me, "You taste good. You're like a six-foot-tall salt lick. And," she shamelessly looked down to where, due to her ministrations, I had grown a nice tent in my jeans, "I bet I know something else that tastes great."

The tell-tale sound of unicorn magic started again, and I could see it working on my pants. But before they could finish, I grabbed Celestia by the horn, which caused her to lose concentration, and thus, lose her magic.

"Wait," I sighed, already feeling like an idiot for potentially ruining the moment, "Why me?"

Celestia gave me her best friendly smile, a smile of understanding, "Because you are the best stallion I know, even though you're not really a stallion. Plus, you're the only one who I could do this with and not worry about them telling every newspaper in the country."

I returned her smile, released her horn, and took a deep breath, feeling immensely good that Celestia held me in such high regard, "Thank you."

"Oh, my dear human, I believe I'll be thanking you by the end of this. Now, sit."

I did as I was told, and planted myself on the side of the bed. Celestia wasted little time removing my pants and boxers, allowing my phallus to make itself known.

Celestia cupped it in the wrist of her hoof and smiled, "It looks so different. I bet it feels a lot different too."

"I just hope I can satisfy," I laughed at my self-deprecation.

"Oh don't worry about that," Celestia assured.

She started slow, with a nice lick from my balls to the head, giving an extra flick at the end which made me groan louder than I expected. To be fair, I hadn't had sex in four years, and Celestia had made me horny as hell.

"How is it," I asked, egging her on, and she caught what I was throwing.

"Mhmmm," she moaned before answering, "Even better than I expected, I could suck this for hours and not get bored."

On that note, Celestia took my entire dick into her mouth. I couldn't do anything except groan again and flop my head back onto the bed. Celestia must have enjoyed my reaction, because she immediately went to work, bobbing her head up and down my entire length, sucking lightly whenever she hit my base. Then, not thoroughly satisfied with the mind-blowing blowjob she was giving me, she upped the ante, adding in a twisting motion with her bobbing. I gripped the sheets as if I was being electrocuted and bucked my hips slightly to match her motions.

It was good. Too good.

"Ahh, Celestia! Ahh, shit!"

And just like that, I blew a load down the throat of the Princess of the Sun. She didn't let up for a second, swallowing repeatedly to get every drop that I had to give. When I finally finished, I laid there, panting. When I got the strength to look up at Celestia, she was sitting on her haunches between my legs, licking her lips and smiling.

"S-Sorry," I panted.

"About what," she looked at me curiously.

"For lasting all of thirty seconds," I half-chuckled.

"Don't be silly," she said, levitating a glass of water which happened to be on her bedside table to me. I downed it in one gulp, "It was much longer than that. Move properly on the bed and I'll join you."

I did as I was asked, moving up to rest my head on a pillow. Celestia ambled onto the bed and, instead of laying beside me like I assumed she would do, she laid right on top of me.

"Hello," I smiled.

"Hello," she replied, giving me a peck on the lips, "I'm not too heavy, am I?"

"God, no. It actually feels kind of nice." With that being said, I began to run my hands along her sides.

"That feels nice as well," she complimented, nuzzling into the side of my head.

"Do you want me to do anything for you," I asked, "I kind of feel like I should after you pleasured me so well."

"Oh, you will, don't worry about that. But I want you to recover first. Do you feel that on your groin?"

I hadn't before, but now that she mentioned it, my groin felt very wet, and not from my sweat or Celestia's saliva, "Yeah."

"That's me dripping all over you," she was now whispering in my ear, "To tell you the truth, I've had this entire thing basically planned for a month. The hug you gave me was just a great way to start."

"Oh really?"

"Yes," she cooed, her wings fully extending in her excitement, "and now, my handsome human stallion, you'll get to go where no other has been in over a thousand years."

Without her even saying it explicitly, just the thought of having intercourse with Celestia was beginning to get both my erection and my stamina to return.

"Have you been thinking about me?"

"Oh yes, all the time. My favorite toy has been getting a lot of use lately, and I've been imagining you at the other end of it every time."

Now, I don't like to sound like an egotist, but what guy doesn't like hearing that a woman has been getting off thinking of him?

"Well," I said, bucking my hips lightly to show her that I was once again at the ready, "I think my friend down there would like to meet his new friend."

"Ooh," Celestia cooed, grinding back on me, lubing me up with her warm juices, "My pussy wants to feel your cock."

That did it. We both adjusted slightly to allow my cock access. I slipped in without a problem and Celestia didn't hesitate as she sat all the way down on me. My head once again fell back in ecstasy.

Celestia bounced on my cock, moaning every time our groins connected. As much as I enjoyed letting Celestia ride me, I wanted a piece, so I reached both my hands down and latched onto her flanks, my fingers digging into the soft fat that so many guards jerked themselves off to at night, but which I actually got to touch. I did not feel worthy.

My hands playing with her ass caused Celestia to pick up the pace. She planted her hooves on either side of my head and sat up, more into a traditional cowgirl position. Now, the sexy sound of balls hitting ass was over-matched by bed springs creaking under the stress of Celestia's unrelenting bouncing.

"Oh yessss," Celestia groaned, "that's the spot, right there. Just keep hitting that spot over and over again."

In order to help, I planted my feet on the bed and began thrusting my hips up to match her downthrusts. I was now going as deep into her love canal as I could, and I was being rewarded.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Celestia couldn't stop yelping now, "That's even better! Tartarus buck! Just a little more, I'm gonna burst!"

I focused on Celetia's face as I continued to pound her from below. Her eyes were open and looking at me with intense pleasure. Her mouth was stuck open, trying to breath between the moans and groans that she couldn't help but let escape.

"Yes Guy! Just. A. Little. More. Buck!"

The proverbial dam broke loose as Celestia flooded my groin, and theoretically the bed, with marecum. At the same time, her pussy hemmed and hawed, doing everything in its power to pull the seed it so desperately wanted out of me. I decided to take it easy on Celestia and let her ride out her orgasm. When she was done, she brought her body back down on top of me, planted her snout into my neck, and began once again licking, kissing, and sucking me. We each took a moment to rest, though she continued to squeeze me with her pussy to keep me as hard as I was.

"How was that," I asked, fully knowing the answer but wanting to hear it anyway.

"Best orgasm I've ever had," Celestia responded between ragged breaths. That sentence alone made my cock twitch and let loose some pre to mix with her juices.

"Do you need to stop," I asked slightly concerned that she may have worn herself out.

"No, no," she quickly answered, "In fact, you should mount me from behind and just rut me until you empty your balls into my pussy."

"Tempting as that is," I said, intent on playing with her like the putty she currently was, "That is how a stallion fucks. I am not a stallion."

Using what strength I had, I sat up and flipped the princess over, landing her back on the bed.

"What are you going to do," Celestia asked curiously.

I leaned over her, all the while positioning myself properly, "Showing you how a man fucks."

I mashed my lips into hers as I thrust my entire length back inside the warm confines of her pussy. I kept the kiss on as long as I could as I began hammering into Celestia, determined to use all the strength I had left to show her a good time.

As soon as my lips left, Celestia started moaning again. Like before, her mouth was stuck open, her mind not able to choose which it wanted more: oxygen, or letting me know that she was enjoying the experience.

It was my turn to sit all the way up, coming to a rest on my knees. I grabbed her back hooves and held them apart as I laid into her waiting and accepting pussy. Looking down, I could see the mess we were making as Celestia continued to leak like a busted pipe all over my cock, balls, hips, and the bed. But that did nothing but egg me on to give her more.

After a short time, I returned my gaze to my lover's face. We locked eyes and I smirked, not really meaning anything by it, but I was rewarded anyway.

"Oh fuck, Guy. I swear I'll never call you 'stallion' again. You are so much better than a stallion. Mhmmm, I want it so bad."

That was my cue, "What do you want," I taunted.

"Your seed," she answered, "I need your hot man seed in my tight pony pussy. Please, I need it so bad."

That was about all I could take. I sped up my thrusts, desperate to release inside my mare.

"Ah, Celestia, I am so close!"

"Yes! Please cum, mhmm...."

"Oh shit, you're so hot and sexy and beautiful and..fuck!"

"Oh yes! I can feel it! Your head's flaring! Please don't hold back!"

"Fuck! AAHH!"

"AHHHHH!"

We came together. Her pussy turned into a vice as I shot rope after rope of seed deep into her. Just as she had done earlier, I collapsed atop her, holding her barrel as best I could as I unloaded. By the end of our dual climax we were breathing in rhythm, my chest rising when hers fell and vice-versa.

When I finally finished, my cock slid out of her pussy, but I didn't move otherwise. Her hooves were wrapped around my neck and we began nuzzling each other. I barely had enough energy to keep my eyes open.

"Th-Thank you," Celestia said softly, "for everything."

"Don't mention it," I responded at equal volume, "and thank you."

I raised my head just enough to look into her eyes properly, as had been our position when this whole thing began. Celestia looked immensely satisfied and like she didn't have a care in the world.

I was at a complete loss as to what to say. Anything I could think of felt like it would ruin the moment. Instead, I just smiled, and Celestia smiled back. Eventually, she rolled me onto my right side and followed, wrapping what limbs she could around me and  burying her muzzle into the crook of my neck.

Now comfortable, and with her eyes closed, she whispered, "Goodnight, my handsome human."

I simply smiled, closed my own eyes in comfort and fatigue and whispered in return, "Goodnight, my pretty princess."