Fluttershy has never been known as an outgoing pony. She was always very quiet and reserved and liked to observe from the distance. Her friends always encouraged her to be more open but every time she tried, she seemed to always retreat back into her previous shy self. Shy or not, her friends seemed to always be supportive of her. Even when their friendship seemed challenged, they always found a way to work through it. Thus, even when times were hard, they promised they would always be there…
…Until HE came back.
“I’m going to be brutally honest,” said Applejack, “I still don’t trust Discord.”
Applejack was bringing apples to Fluttershy’s place so that her animals could have a healthy snack.
“He’s changed you know, he’s given up his old ways.” Responded Fluttershy.
“But can a pony really change that much?” asked Applejack, “Putting wings and a horn on a pig doesn’t make it a princess, deep down it will always be a pig.”
“Applejack! How grossly shallow of you. How could you say such things?”
“I’m just being honest.”
“Well I honestly believe he's changed, and Celestia thinks so too. Are you saying Celestia is wrong? You doubt our princess?”
“No, I just think he is playing you as a fool.”
“Humph, the only fool here is you.” She grabbed all the apples away from Applejack, “You delivered your apples and I am grateful but I feel it is best you get on your way.”
Applejack glared at Fluttershy then turned around and left.
Fluttershy turned to her animal friends and said, “Who does she think she is? Discord is good and I know it.”
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Rang a voice, the shutters flew open and in a whirlwind of glitter and sparkles a mismatched creature appeared.
“DISCORD!” Fluttershy cried, running to him and hugging him tight.
“How has my favorite pony been doing... are those apples?” He approached the pile, grabbed one, and threw it into his mouth. “Simply perfect, how do those Apple ponies do it?”
“Bigotry.” Fluttershy whispered under her breath.
“Oh, you know what would go great with these apples, cider and cinnamon.” Discord twisted his wrist and from thin air appeared two mugs of cider and a twelve pack of cinnamon sticks. He took out a stick, put it in his mouth, and lit the end.
“I didn’t know you smoked.” Said Fluttershy.
“I only do it socially.” Responded Discord, he grabbed a mug and handed it to her, “Drink up darling.”
Fluttershy sniffed the mug, “This has alcohol in it.”
“So what, is that a problem?” said Discord as he took a drink of the booze.
“It's just Ponyville has been a dry town for the last ten years."
Discord spit out his drink in shock, “WHAT!? Are you saying no pony has drinkin’ alcohol in the last ten years, no wonder you all are so boring.”
“Most of the alcohol came from Sweet Apple Acres, but there was a drinking problem arising on the farm so they stopped all production of the stuff.”
“How does one Apple pony drinking problem make it ok for no one else to have fun? It is as if those dumb bumpkins think they know best. Not everyone is going to be abusing it like those assholes.” He took another swig of his drink continuing to mumble. He then stopped and looked up at Fluttershy. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot your friend Applejack was from there, you must feel dreadful that I insulted your dear friend.”
Fluttershy sighed, “No, I agree, those Apples do act like they know best.” She gripped her mug, remembering the things Applejack said about Discord. “Just because they think it so doesn’t mean it is universally true.” And with that she took a drink.
Fluttershy woke up, she looked around, and noticed she was lying on floor is a puddle of sparkly drool. He mouth tasted of cinnamon and apples. She saw that he place was a mess with tables and chairs knocked over and paint scribbled all over the walls. She looked down and saw Discord lying across the room, his face covered in gaudy makeup and wearing one of her frilly bras. She approached him, her head spinning. She nudged his shoulder.
“Discord wake up, do you know what happened here?”
He rolled over to his back and smacked his lips, “An awesome night.”
“Pardon?”
He opened his eyes and stared at Fluttershy, “You asked what happened and I responded ‘an awesome night.’” He sat up and stretched out his arms. “We were partying all night, who knew drunk Fluttershy was so fun.”
“Drunk…party…fun…I don’t remember any of this.” Fluttershy started to feel panicked, “Please tell me you didn’t take advantage of me.”
Discord flung back his head, “Hahahaha!” He then looked at Fluttershy and said calmly, “No.”
“I don’t believe you.” Said Fluttershy, feeling a bit embarrassed.
“I thought you would say that, so I record it.” Discord turned around and pointed to a camera on the wall.
“You made a sex tape of me?!”
“I swear I did not have sex with you. Watch the tape and if you don’t believe me, ask your animals.” He pointed to a corner where there was a pile of woodland creatures passed out from the previous night.
In a panic she ran over to her little friends, though she stopped in her tracks when she spotted her reflection is a mirror. “Eeeeeeeeh!” she quietly screamed then fell over.
Discord walked up to her, “Nice mustache.”
“The Apples were right, alcohol is evil.” Said Fluttershy from the floor.
“Nah girl, you are just upset that for once in your life you were fun and not shy about yourself.”
Fluttershy quickly stood up, “What did you just say?” She then ran over to the camera and popped out the tape. She shoved it into her tv and watched in aw as she saw a side of her she believed wasn’t even possible. She wasn’t shy.
“I can’t believe it, you found a cure to my shyness. Alcohol!” she cried for joy then ran up and hugged Discord. Discord laughed and hugged her back.
“This is going to be fun.” He said.
“Twilight, are you there? Please open up.” Applejack said while furiously knocking on the library’s door. Pinkie Pie was also there pacing back and forth nervously.
Twilight opened the door, “What seems to be the pr…” Before she could finish her sentence, Pinkie Pie grabbed her and shook her back and forth.
“It’s awful terrible. Youwontbelieveitihopesheisokiamscaredyougottahelpplease NOW!”
“Breath Pinkie, what is going on?”
“It’s Fluttershy.” Spoke up Applejack, “I had a fight with her two weeks ago, and she hasn’t left her house since. I’m worried that I really upset her or maybe something worse. Please Twilight help us, you are the smart one.”
“Well seeing how she always helps me when I need help saving the world and all, I could maybe help her with this small thing.”
“OK! OK! What are you waiting for, let’s leave NOW!” panicked Pinkie Pie and she grabbed the two and dragged them down the road.
“Pinkie Pie! Stop!” Yelled Applejack as the gravel ripped up her face.
“What if Fluttershy is about to die? It would be all your fault because you wanted us to stop. She could have fallen and could not get up and all we did was laugh because that commercial is so funny. I mean seriously, the acting is like so bad, you can’t help but laugh. Tehehe.”
“Don’t worry Applejack, I have a healing spell.” Said Twilight calmly who was on her back, her flesh being torn off like a grater on cheese. Her princess wings became tangled and one snapped clear off her body. Pinkie Pie then pulled her over a very large pebble and Twilight’s horn was removed cleanly from her head, no blood, or any thing. “Uh, never mind.”
Pinkie then came to a halting stop, right in front of Fluttershy’s house. Everything looked perfectly normal from the outside. Applejack stumbled over to the little creek and washed the dirt off her face. Twilight notice that her other wing fell off. She gave a concerning smile and said, “I guess I am an earth pony now.”
Pinkie Pie banged on the door. “Open up Fluttershy! Are you dead? Can I have your stuff if you are dead?”
“Pinkie, don’t say that.” Applejack approached the door and said, “I’m sorry I fought with you. I should have just kept my stupid opinions to myself, please come out.”
The three stood there quietly, then the door slowly open.
In front of them stood a pony almost unrecognizable, Fluttershy stood before them wearing twelve inch stilettos, which were covered in gold glitter. On her legs she wore neon pink fishnets with holes in the knees. She wore a very short black pencil skirt. Her shirt was less of a shirt and more of just a push up bra which was covered in fake plastic gems. She was wearing about twenty bracelets and five necklaces. From her ears hung hoop earrings big enough to be her belt. Her hair was up in a Snooki doo with blonde streaks through the middle. Her makeup was heavy making her look almost surreal.
The three stared at her is pure aw of silence.
“What do you want bitches?” asked the pony in front of them.
“Who are you?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Well, duh, I’m Fluttershy. You know helped you save the world and stuff.”
“Um, what the hay happened to you?” asked Applejack.
“What the hell happened to me…well I became the mother fucking party princess.”
Pinkie Pie’s eyes lighted up, “Party…”
“Princess…” completed Twilight who then noticed her jaw was now lying on Fluttershy’s welcome mat.
“It ain’t like any party you ever been too, bitches! Mine are more banging.”
Applejack then peered around Fluttershy and noticed her house looked like a dump. “What happened to your house?”
“Are you retarded, I just said. Parties!”
“Parties are good and all but you need to know when to stop.” Twilight said while blood and spit flew out of her mouth.
“Hush up Twilight.” Said Pinkie, “You can never have enough parties. BUT, a party is even better the more ponies you have.”
“And…” said Fluttershy who put a cinnamon stick into her bright green lips and lit it.
“And we can plan a party with every pony and it will be epic because two party ponies will be planning it and it will in a big place not just a small little house with poop flung on the wall.” Pinkie grabbed Fluttershy’s bracelet covered wrist and dragged her out the door. “But that is not going to happen unless we go out and make it happen.”
As the two dashed down the road, Twilight rubbed her bloody cheek and said, “Clever girl.”
Twilight and Applejack wondered into town to discuss the situation with Rarity and Rainbow Dash.
They spotted Rarity standing in front of town hall, she was furiously fanning herself with an over size Victorian fan.
Applejack approached her, “Are you ok Rarity? You look ill.”
Rarity turned to Applejack and stared at Applejack in shock, “Honey darling, I should be asking you if you are ok. You look like you got in a fight with a cheese grater.”
“Well, it’s a funny story…” But before she could finish her story, Rarity glanced over at Twilight. Rarity’s face became paler as she started to fall backwards. Applejack swooped in and grabbed. “Don’t you dare go fainting on me.”
Rarity began to furiously fan herself more. “Oh deary, please tell me I am dreaming, none of this can be real.”
“Have you seen Fluttershy? We came here to discuss what the hay happened to her.” Said Applejack.
“Girl, who hasn’t seen her? Her clothes! Her hair! Her everything! What in the Lord Princess name happened to her?”
“Somehow she got her hands on some alcohol, how, we don’t know.”
“Well you find that out. I, however, am going to hide in my house until this all gets worked out. If I have to look at disaster again, my eyes may fall out.”
From a distance, a familiar voice rang out, “Rarity! Are you ready to party?” It was Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, both wearing stupid party hats and throwing invites into the air at passing ponies.
“AH!” Rarity screamed and dashed away at full speed.
“Rarity wait!” A sad expression fell over Pinkie Pie’s face. “I guess she doesn’t want to party?”
“We don’t need that Glee ass bitch. Those rudy tooty types are always the ones who crash the parties.” Fluttershy was obnoxiously chewing a piece of gun while also texting on her Apple 4G iPhone.
“So how is the party planning going?” Asked Applejack.
“Amazing!” cheer Pinkie Pie. “We sent out so many invitation plus Fluttershy made an event on Facebook. This party is going to be awesome.”
“Well a party needs more then just ponies to be a good party.” Applejack stated.
“Oh right, I was so excited I forgot.” Pinkie turned to Fluttershy, “So what should we have at our party?”
“Booze.” Responded Fluttershy, still staring down at her Apple 4G iPhone.
“Boos…” Pinkie Pie looked at her confusedly, then her face lit up, “Oh boos! Ghosts! Tehehe like a spooky themed party, how fun.”
“Uh no, booze like alcohol.” Said Fluttershy in an annoyed tone.
“Oh…right.” Pinkie Pie said, her face looking a bit gloomy.
“Uh what ever, you probz don’t know how to get to good stuff. I guess it is this bitch’s job to get that shit.” She strut off, her butt forming perfectly in her tight skirt.
When she got out of sight, Applejack turned to Pinkie Pie and said, “You can’t go to that party Pinkie. I don’t trust her. For the sake of our friendship, DO NOT GO!”
“Um…Are you making me choose between parties and friends?” Pinkie’s face grew more distressed.
“Applejack stop!” Twilight butted in, “Pinkie, go to the party. We need some pony to keep a close eye on Fluttershy.”
“You’re right Twi.” Smiled Pinkie, “I guess that is why you are the smart one.”
Twilight blushed which caused her eyes to drip blood. “And I guess Applejack is the stubborn horsy face one.”
The two laughed while Applejack rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
Pinkie Pie saluted, “Double O Pinkie reporting for rudy duty. Mission, fix Fluttershy.”
“Good girl.” Said Twilight who then pulled out a cookie she just happened to have and threw it into the air. Pinkie Pie jumped into the air and caught it like a dog. She smiled then ran off in Fluttershy’s direction.
“You shouldn’t have done that.” Said Applejack.
“You’re right.” Smiled Twilight nervously, “The brown spots on that cookie were not chocolate chips but dry blood spots.”
“I am not talking about the stupid cookie. Heck, whatever, I need to lie down; I am starting to get a headache.
Applejack and Twilight headed into the town hall. They both passed out asleep on a pair of old sofas that were stashed in the corner.
A loud bang came from outside. Applejack sat up quickly.
“Oh-no, the party! How long were we asleep?” She glanced over at Twilight whose face was all puffy and swollen from her injuries. Applejack nudged her shoulder, “Wake up Twi.”
Twilight rolled over, her eyes half open. She listen closely as more loud bangs came from outside, “Is the world ending again?”
“No, those are just fireworks. Listen Twilight, I think it is best if we crash this party. I need to teach that tramp a lesson.”
“Okay doki.” Said Twilight, giving Applejack a thumbs up.
The two headed out the door and ran down the street in the direction of the loud music and neon flashing lights. The place was packed with ponies dancing in what looked like a flash mob. The music was a dub beat that made your head pound. The two waded through the crowd, looking left and right for the princess of the party. They finally pushed themselves into a clearing, there in the middle of it was a sight that made the two’s jaws hit the floor (except Twilight didn’t have a jaw so hers was figuratively). Fluttershy was before them swinging around and twerking on a stripper pole. She was wearing a black glittery bikini with pink zebra print stockings and 18 inch white pumps. On her head, she wore a gold tiara with a unicorn horn coming out of it. Pinkie Pie was in an identical outfit dancing on an identical pole. Pinkie Pie bore a similar Snooki hair doo and also was caked with gaudy makeup. Pinkie bore a fake pair of wings on her back so that she could match Fluttershy.
At that moment, Applejack’s head was filled with hundreds of thoughts flying at Sonic Rainboom speed. Applejack’s scar covered face then twisted into one of pure angry. She dashed towards Fluttershy’s pole and bucked it off its stand. Fluttershy fell over and landed straight on her glitter coverd behind. The music stopped and the dancing mob of ponies turned to look at the commotion.
“What the literal fuck!” screamed Fluttershy as she scrambled to her feet.
“I’m shutting this party down! I’m shutting you down!”
“Listen Applejackoff, you are totes jealous that I am so much more popular then you. All the guys and lesbos want me. All the girls want to be me. You are just acting like a little bitch because you can never have what I have.” Fluttershy flipped her the middle finger, “Suck it bitch!”
With that, Applejack dived for Fluttershy and started wresting with her on the floor. They were kicking, pulling, and biting each other. No pony knew what to do so they just watched from afar.
“Oh, if only I had my magic, I could easily stop this.” Twilight stated to panic. “Come Twilight Sparkle, you are the smart one, think brain think. What would an earth pony do?” But the stress of the moment made it hard to think straight. So she just decided to dash towards the two and pry them apart with her swollen hands. While this was happening, she was also screaming on the top of her lung.
With this, the two fell back from each other, both holding their hands over their ears.
“OK, we get it!” said Applejack.
Twilight stopped screaming, “Good, now lets handle this argument like proper gentlemen. Agreed?”
Applejack rolled her eyes and nodded, Fluttershy did not. Instead, she was curled up on the floor, moaning and gripping at her stomach.
“Oh-no! Fluttershy, are you okay?” Twilight trotted over and looked Fluttershy over. She didn’t respond, just moaned, “Someone call 911! Pony down! Pony down!”
Fluttershy was lying down in a hospital bed; Twilight and Pinkie Pie were there to comfort her. Applejack was sitting in the corner, her arms were cross and she was bruiting.
The doctor pony walked in with a clipboard in his hands, “I’m glad you brought her right away.”
“Oh-no!” Pinkie panicked, “Does she have pony cancer?”
“No.” said the doctor, shaking his head, “She’s pregnant.”
“What!?” the four ponies said in unison.
“Bitch, I can’t be pregnant! I take birth control like they are Tic Tacs.” Fluttershy then paused, “Or maybe they were actual Tic Tacs, I dunno. I’ve been sort of drunk for the last few weeks.”
“Well, now that you are pregnant, no more alcohol. That stuff is harmful for the fetus.”
“No alcohol!” Flutterhy’s face went pale, “Doc, do you know where I can get this shit aborted out of me.”
“Uh, Fluttershy…abortions are illegal in Equestria.” Said Twilight calmly, “But not to worry your friends will be here to help you take care of the thing. I read a lot of books on babies, so I know just about everything.”
Pinkie jumped in, “I could help with babysitting, I do it all the time for the Cakes.”
“Aw, you guys are so sweet.” Fluttershy said with a smile. “Are you going to help out too Applejack?”
Applejack approached the bed, “Sure, I can give you some applesauce and milk for the baby to eat. But before I do any of this, you need to answer me this, who the hay is the father?”
Fluttershy’s face turned red like an apple, “Uh…Discord…I think.”
Pinkie Pie and Twilight gasped. Applejack nodded, “And he was the one who gave you the alcohol.”
Fluttershy nodded, her face turning more red.
“That is what I thought.” Applejack then turned and headed towards the door, “Goodnight ponies, see you in 9 months.”
Twilight knocked on Fluttershy’s house. Her face was wrapped in bandages due to the multiple surgeries she had to have. It had been several months since the insane party.
Fluttershy opened the door. She looked like her former self again, except for her pregnant belly. “Oh, Twilight come in. I just got new floors installed.”
Twilight walked it, “I’m glad you are doing ok, I like the sober Flutterhsy more.”
Fluttershy smiled, “Me too.”
Twilight pulled a piece of paper out of her sack, “Maybe you should write a letter to Princess Celestia about what you learned from all this.”
“Oh, that is a wonderful idea.”
The two of them walked up to Fluttershy’s desk. Fluttershy pulled out a pen and began to write. “Dear Princess Celestia, I learned that alcohol is evil and it is best to just stay away from the stuff because it turns you into a jerk.”
Twilight then added, “And I learned that it is very difficult to be an earth pony, I am so grateful I am getting my surgeries to restore my alicorn self.”
Pinkie Pie then popped her head in the window and said, “I learned that parties are nice but too many parties can be a bad thing.”
Applejack then appeared and said, “I didn’t learn a thing cause I was right all along.”
Rarity swooped in and added, “I learned to tolerate ugly people.”
Rainbow Dash flow in the door and said, “I learned…”
“Hold up!” said Applejack, “You weren’t even in this story.”
Fluttershy wrote all of this down and signed and sent it off to their princess.
The letter flew into Celestia’s throne room and curled open. She looked the letter over then gave a snarky smile.
“What knurds!” she said, taking a sip from her wine glass.
THE END
