Chapters Dear Princess Luna,
Hello.
I'm sorry, I really don't know exactly what to write. You don't even have to reply. Truth is, I'm not exactly the most... popular of my classmates. See, I was born with a twisted hind leg. It didn't develop properly, and so the bone is twisted and weak. I was never able to walk properly, because my hind leg would always be dragging and barely moving. I'm always alone. No one likes me. I'm always made fun of, bullied... My parents don't care, their always out at night. Or, my father is anyway. My mother is really sick, she is completely unaware of what's around her. When I sit next to her on the bed, she hardly notices I'm there. She just has her eyes closed, or open and staring out into the distance. I miss her.
My classmates always tease me and call me names because I have to wear a brace on my leg to help me walk. Sometimes they throw rocks at me and they say I'm a freak. I don't like my classmates, their always mean and they like to remind everyone else how much money their parents make. Then they say that I don't belong in school and say that I should be thrown out into the streets. My family did once have money. My father is a business pony, owner of a company. Well, used to be. He never goes to work anymore.
When we did have money, we would go on trips. Mainly to Canterlot. We once went to the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville. I saw you. I had heard stories about you through my teacher, Miss Jubilee. About how you were once Nightmare Moon. I don't believe you were always evil though, you only wanted somepony to notice you, to appreciate you, you only wanted a friend, like I do. I hope we could be friends. I have always loved night-time. It was always so peaceful, I always loved the moon most of all. I'm sorry you were banished there. But I never thought of you as evil, even before you came back. Before you were saved by the Elements of Harmony.
I hope we can be friends.
Yours Sincerely,
Citrine
Dear Princess Luna,
How are you? Are you well?
Actually, it's been a couple of years since I've written to you before. I don't mind that you haven't written back, I know you're busy. Royal duties can never wait, can they?
I'll say, a lot has happened in those years. Things that were going on that I didn't say to you before because I wanted to protect my family. I'm in foster care now, my mother died and my father's drinking got worse. It was bad before but I couldn't live under those conditions. When my mother died, he would come home even more drunk and even more angry. One night, he grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer and came to my bedroom. I was foolish enough to think that he wouldn't do anything bad. I was very wrong.
When he came, I was reading the latest Daring Doo book, so I wasn't paying very much attention when he said something I don't remember. When I didn't hear him he ripped the book out of my hands and threw it across the room. He then brandished the knife at me with his unicorn magic and said he was going to play a game of Chase with me. It was an old game my mother would play with me all the time when I was very young. I was scared, and he didn't wait for me to run and lunged the knife at me, I barely dodged it and wound up with a cut on my right cheek, under my eye. I hurried out of my room. I was so scared I barely noticed my braced leg as ran and nearly tripped down the stairs. My father was so drunk he was staggering after me. Since speed wasn't my strong point I was lucky to get away from him in the first place. I fumbled with the door as my father drunkenly bounded down the stairs, crashing into walls multiple times. I threw open the door and ran out of our apartment in Manehattan. I limped down the hall crying for help, I was getting tired from trying to drag my leg with me. My yells, as well as his making so much racket a couple of ponies looked outside to see what was going on and was shocked to see a stallion chasing after his daughter with a knife. One pony launched himself on my father, knocking him over and losing control of the knife.
Hearing my father yell, I stopped to turn around and look at the scene. My father was now wrestling with the other pony. Some other colts jumped on top of him to pin him down to the ground. Others were trying to protect me and shield me from my father. And one of them called the police.
The police were on the scene within ten minutes and arrested my father kicking and screaming. I didn't have any other family aside from my parents, so I was put in foster care. My foster family is really nice and I have a foster brother and sister. I live in Ponyville now, and I'm in grade 5 at Miss Cherilee's school. I really like her.
Actually, even before my mother died, my father would physically abuse me, even before I first wrote to you. I didn't mention this because I didn't want to be separated from my family. I would always wear clothes to school, to cover my bruises. I loved my parents with all my heart. Before my mother fell ill, we were very happy, my father and mother loved each other with all their hearts and loved me in the same way. I didn't want to leave them. Even when my father started drinking I still loved him. There are times when I wish I could visit him. I never got any details on his sentence except that he would be spending at least five years in jail. The cut on my face never fully healed and turned into a scar. So, the bullying and teasing haven't stopped. I haven't found my cutie mark yet either, I'm the only one in my class without one, so I'm being called a Blankflank as well as Scarface and StickPony because of my leg. But my foster family has done the best they can, so that's an improvement.
Your friend,
Citrine
Dear Princess Luna,
My foster family has grown quite.... unpleasant.
They're nothing like my father let me tell you, they just... tend to ignore me. I actually told my foster parents about my problems at school, and they jumped right onto making it right. They told Miss Cherilee about it and she gave the bullies a week of detention. It didn't solve the problem though, as the bullies, called Glittering Gold and Shining Silver, twin sisters, just started calling me a snitch. It doesn't bother me, being called a snitch, it just makes me annoyed, so I ignored them.
They didn't give up though, the day after their time in detention was over, they cornered me at the back of the school during recess. I knew they were there, I was already reading a book about magic, so I pretended I was still reading it. But one of them kicked me in the stomach. Hard. The instant she did I had thought of my father, hovering the knife over my head, and striking it down into my stomach. I let out an ear-splitting wail and the twins were so startled they ran back to the playground. I clutched my stomach, my book on the ground, and soon I realized a group of my classmates were hovering over me. One of them, a colt, held out his hoof and helped me up. He smiled at me, I couldn't help but notice his twinkling grey eyes. I didn't really notice many of my classmates, but this colt I remember specifically because he was the only one of my classmates who actually paid attention to me. He once offered to help me with a tricky math problem, and he also shared some of his lunch with me when I had forgotten mine. His name is Interstellar. His coat is light grey and his mane and tail are white, reminding me of a star. Actually, a shooting star is his cutie mark, I assume his talent is astronomy. We'd never actually had a real conversation with each other, and I'm not really sure why he was so nice to me. Is he pitying me? Maybe.
I was still rubbing my soar stomach when Miss Cherilee came and asked me what happened. I didn't hesitate in telling her that it was Silver and Gold. I didn't know who was the one who kicked me, but Miss Cherilee didn't hesitate to punish them right away. Interstellar asked if I was alright. I said that I was, but he still offered to help me to get back to class, I move rather slowly, because of my leg. Still, Miss Cherilee pulled me into the the classroom to look me over, and I had nothing but a bruise. Silver and Gold got another week's detention.
When I told my foster parents what happened. They were mad and told me I shouldn't engage in fights with the other ponies at my school. I was confused and said that I hadn't engaged in any fights and I was the one trying to avoid the fight, but they didn't want to hear it. Then they sent me to my room, not bothering to consider my leg.
So that's why my foster parents aren't very pleasant, but my foster siblings are even less pleasant. Let's just say that my foster parents don't take their responsibilities very seriously. Both of my foster siblings are older then I am and have been with my foster parents for a lot longer then I have. My foster parents spoil them like crazy and it's way too obvious they prefer my foster siblings to me.
My foster sister came home late one night way past her curfew, and my foster parents knew it, but they let her go off unpunished. If I try to stay out past dinnertime studying at school for a test they get angry at me and ground me for the rest of the night!
Not only that, but the other night, my foster brother--who is only a year older then me I might add--was whining at my foster parents like a filly for putting asparagus in his lasagne, and they gave him a new piece, asparagus-free! If I try to tell them that I don't like a certain food, they just say to suck it up and eat it!
And don't even get me started on how they treat our grades at school! My foster brother failed his science test and my foster parents decided to tutor him for his re-test. They did the same for my foster sister when she failed her English test! If I get anything less then an A on any of my tests they scold me and say I should have done better!
I'm sorry, I'm just spouting off my anger. Have I mentioned I'm a unicorn and I still can't get the hang of magic? Lately it's been unpredictable, randomly levitating or exploding or destroying objects if my temper gets out of control. I'm worried about it. I don't want to hurt anypony. Just as I was writing my section on my foster family, I noticed that I was unconsciously lifting a book off my shelf and flipping it's pages, nearly tearing one off, it was my old Daring Doo book, the one I was reading on that night. I stopped following the series after that day. I was always so into adventures when I was a filly. And yes, I've been teased for my magic fluctuations, too. Even my levitation spells can be shaky sometimes. Actually, the only spell I've perfected is one my mother taught me. It's a teleportation spell that can send anything to anypony. Which is how I've been getting these letters to you.
Your friend,
Citrine
Dear Princess Luna
Lately I've felt the loneliness at the back of my neck. Sometimes I'll catch one or more of my classmates staring at me. Curious stares, almost pitying, instead of the hateful glares Glittering Gold and Shining Silver give me. Their parents own half of Ponyville, and I once heard their mother is as bad as they are.
I also heard of a princess that lives in the large crystal castle at the edge of Ponyville. I've never seen her, because my foster parents decided it was a good idea to keep me inside every afternoon and every evening, to avoid being seen with me. They say it's for my own protection, that there are dangerous things in the world. I believe that there are, my mother once told me about the dangers of wandering Manehatten on my own, especially with my leg, so I can understand why they don't let me out in the evening. I think they are just embarrassed to have me, a crippled pony unable to walk very far on her own without any kind of assistance. Ponyville is so much friendlier than Manehatten, aside from Silver and Gold's family. Believe me, I try not to hate anypony, I've never actually hated anypony in my entire life! I just disliked my classmates back in Manehatten, and I dislike Glittering Gold and Shining Silver. The only reason I haven't done anything to get back at them was because I know Mother wouldn't want me to.
Speaking of Mother, I had a dream about her last night. She and I where standing on the edge of a cliff. My mother was a pegasus, so sometimes she would have me climb on her back and take me for a ride in the sky. That's what we did in the dream. I remember her golden yellow colt and her deep red mane. She was so pretty, and so kind. I'm not pretty, not with my matted yellow coat and orange mane.
Sometimes I wish I could trade my horn for a pair of wings, just so I could feel the wind in my mane again, but that would mean I wouldn't be able to send you these letters, now would it?
Frankly, I prefer keeping my memories of my mother close to my heart then try to relive them, it just makes them that much more special, and even if I could relive them, that would mean my mother lived for nothing, now wouldn't it?
Even with my memories, though, I still feel that pang of loneliness for missing my mother, and my father. (The version before my mother got sick.)
Actually, my foster sister, Moon Prism, found me writing a poem in my room. She tried to snatch it out from my desk, but I was able to pull it away from her before she snatched it. She teased me and said that whatever I was writing, it wasn't worth it and that I should go back to where I came from. I just responded by saying that I was perfectly happy with where I was. She didn't have a comeback, so she left. Of, course, I wasn't "perfectly happy" with where I was, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I was writing a poem for you. I admire your moon and stars more than anything, so I was writing about it. Poetry has always been a secret sanctuary for me. Only my mother knew about it, and now you do too. I always kept my poems hidden and private, because I was always afraid that someone would make fun of them. I always keep them in a small mahogany box that my granny gave me. Actually, here's one I wrote for my mother:
Why do ponies say time goes so fast?
When you are not only waiting for a time to pass,
But for the pony I wait for when that time is done.
And yet.
It may not seem like a lot of time.
But it becomes so long when it's the length of time you are forced to wait for your mother's love once again.
And time feels like the letters I wrote to her.
Having only her voice in my head,
Rather than her voice guiding me through life's troubles,
Having to reach out and touch only a memory instead of a warm face.
But that love just isn't the same.
I can't be content with my mother's face in my head.
But I will never be able to hold her close to me again.
A filly can't stand not being able to wrap her hooves around her mother dearest.
The pony who means the most to us in our lives.
The difference between a mother being away and a mother next to her filly,
Is that her mother can't wipe away your tears when she's miles away.
I can't be content with my mother being reduced to an image in my head.
When she could be wrapping her hooves around her filly as she cries out "mother come back"
Because that can never happen,
Never again.
Because the worst pain a filly can have,
Is knowing her mother can never return.
The reason it's written the way it is is because I started writing it when my mother was sick. I would read her letters I wrote, hoping she would respond in some way. I only finished it recently, after she died.
Your friend,
Citrine
Author's Note
The poem I made up on the spot, don't ask where it's from.
Dear Princess Luna
No, scratch that. I'm sorry, I don't have time to be formal, I have to make this quick. You know how last time my letter was cut short because Moon Prism was coming? I'm trapped in the bathroom and Moon Prism is trying to get me to come out. All I have is my paper and my pencil, and the box containing all the poems I write. One of them is the one I was making for you. I don't know what to do. Yesterday, I had (thankfully) convinced my foster parents to let me go to to Interstellar's house to work on our project. The only condition was that I had to go there straight from school and not come home until the sun had set. Pretty ridiculous, right? I know your thinking what that has to do with Moon Prism, but I'll get to that.
Also, I think Moon Prism left, so I'm pretty safe for now.
So, today was the first day we had to work on our projects, and Interstellar (thankfully) agreed to going to his house right after school to work on them. We will do this every other day, so that we can still get our individual work done. So, after school, Interstellar took me to what looked like a clothing store, but it was decorated so that it looked much grander, and much more expensive.
Before we went in, Interstellar warned me that his mother might "overreact" to him bringing a mare in the house. I didn't fully understand, but Interstellar told me I would when we went in.
Interstellar opened the door, which had a bell over it that rang when we stepped in. And I heard a voice unlike any I had heard before.
"Oh hello Stellar darling, how was school?" a white unicorn stepped out from behind a rack of beautiful gowns, she had blue eyes, a purple mane styled in endless curls, and three blue crystals representing her cutie mark, she gasped in mixed emotions of amazement and utter shock "You've brought home a mare! " she squealed "Oh how wonderful! What's your name darling?" She said as she pressed her muzzle in my face.
And yes, that is exactly what she said. I felt myself blush for some reason.
Interstellar facehoofed and explained to the mare that I was only his partner for the project and I was only here to work on it with him.
The mare turned to Interstellar, looking disappointed. Interstellar introduced us. Rarity, the name of the mare, was his mother. Her talent is actually making dresses, despite Interstellar's being astronomy. She actually said my name was very pretty, that it was a type of gemstone that was considered a stone of the mind. I wasn't too sure about that, but nobody has every complemented my name before, my classmates just laugh at it.
When I told her about my leg, Rarity was actually pretty okay with it, and by that I mean she never gave me the pitying look I often got back in manehatten. I still get pitying looks from my classmates and miss Cheerilee, but they've gotten used to me. She actually told me that my leg was what made me unique, special. That was something my mother often told me.
I also met Interstellar's baby sister, Fire Ruby. She is so cute! She's a tiny red pegasus who can just hover a few feet off the ground. When we were taking breaks from working, we would play with her. Interstellar's such a good big brother! He's always putting her on his back and giving her rides around the room.
While we were working at the kitchen table, I couldn't stop myself from asking why Interstellar pays so much attention to me. He blushed, then said it was because I always looked so lonely, like I was always sad. That he thought maybe he could make me smile. I noticed he was twirling his hoof on the ground as he said this, so I couldn't help but blush as well. I gazed at his cutie mark, the white shooting star against his grey flank. I couldn't help but wonder what my cutie mark would be, if I where to receive it someday.
When it was time to leave, Interstellar's father, Trenderhoof, offered to take me home. I was far too scared to wander Ponyville on my own, so I accepted. Once I could see my house, I said I could make it the rest of the way. He was a little uncertain, because of my leg, but once I pointed out how close my house was, he let me go, but watched me as I went inside to make sure I was safe.
My foster parents didn't even say anything as I came in, much less look up. When I came into my room, I found Moon Prism and Running Wind (my foster brother) rummaging through my things! When I yelled at them to stop, but Moon Prism just laughed and said that she would find what I was "hiding". I then said nothing I had was worth looking for, but Moon Prism said that if that were true, then I wouldn't be hiding anything. I tried to say that its my privacy, and I should have the right to keep it to myself, but then Running Wind tossed a box out from my closet. A wooden mahogany box.
Moon Prism didn't notice that I was staring at it. So, with much straining and trying to make sure that It didn't show, I levitated the box towards me so that I was carrying it in my hoofs, my foster siblings were so engrossed in looking for something that they almost didn't notice me sneaking away the box. When they did notice, I was already halfway to the bathroom so I when I heard my sister shout "Hey!" I hurried the rest of the way there and locked myself in, I then took one of my blank pieces of paper and the pencil I always keep in the box, and you know the rest.
The hall seems rather quiet though, I don't think Moon is there anymore, but Running is really good at being quiet though, so he might just be there. I'm going to stay here for a little longer, just to make sure it's safe.
But, to be fully honest, I can't seem to get Interstellar out of my mind for very long
Your friend trapped in a sticky situatiation
Citrine
Dear Princess Luna,
How did I get myself into this mess?
Don't worry, Moon Prism hasn't gotten a hold on any of my poems, yet. She's becoming more and more persistent though, it's like she's not giving up until she find what I'm "hiding". I'm certain she plans to show whatever she finds to my school, frankly, since most of the school really doesn't pay any attention to me, it's not much of a threat. My real fear is if the shows to my foster parents! If my foster parents see my poems, they're going to tell me off for focusing too much on the past. Lately they've been on my tail for trying to get into contact for my father. I've forgiven him for what he did, it really wasn't his fault entirely. My parents think my father is a deranged stallion meant to be in an insane asylum rather than prison, but it's more than that, they think my mother was as bad as he is! I really dislike my foster parents. My foster sibling don't come from those backgrounds, there parents died when they were fillies, so my foster parents believe I'm going to be as bad as my father.
Why are my foster parents acting like this? When I first arrived at their house, they were really really nice. They didn't push, they didn't go prodding into my things or my business. They told me they would be there for me, and I believed it. When I told them about my problems with Glittering Gold and Shining Silver, they jumped at the chance to make it right. To make sure that I wouldn't have any more problems. They even specifically requested to talk to Silver and Gold as well as their parents. A meeting that I didn't even go to because I didn't feel comfortable and my foster parents totally respected that. Come to think of it, when my foster parents came back from that meeting they didn't look at me at all. They just said "the problem was resolved" and that was it. What happened at that meeting? What in Equestia changed to make my foster parents hate me? Why are they treating me like this?!
Luna help me. Why do you never write back to me? Why don't you ever pay attention to me? Do you even read these letters? Are you just like everypony else?!
I'm sorry. I had to stop writing for a moment because I started tearing up (and my magic had starting knocking books and stuffed animals off my shelves). I know you're busy, and know you have majors duties to attend to, you can't respond to my letters.
Today, when Interstellar and I went to his house, he asked if I had thought of an element to represent yet. I hadn't, so he just shrugged and said that we could work on his portion of the project. I hate that I haven't come up with an element yet, I know the project isn't due for another week, but I don't want to be the one to hold it down.
The element Interstellar chose was honesty, so we wrote down why Interstellar would represent that element and what it means to be honest with somepony. We covered everything from being brutally honest to keeping promises and even knowing when it's the best time to be fully honest with somepony. I think honesty fits well with Interstellar, he's never one to kid around and has never told a lie (according to his mom as she passes by to check on our work). I have to say that honesty fits on Interstellar like a glove.
I'm not really used to asking for help so I'm kinda scared of asking Interstellar his opinion on what element I would be. There's no way I can ask any of my foster family since they would potentially laugh at my face (hypothetically speaking).
I'm actually almost finished my poem for you. Thankfully, neither Moon Prism nor Running Wind know about it, so I think I can get it done and send it to you (hopefully) without too much problem.
I've probably jinxed myself for saying that.
Citrine
Dear Princess Luna,
I brought my box of poems with me to school today, so that I could keep it safe from Moon and Running. It was also that I could work on my poem to you. Both Moon and Running are in a different class than I am, so when I'm at school, they're home. I didn't care that Silver and Gold teased me for being weird, It was better then leaving them with Moon, and whatever she was planning to do with them.
Actually, during recess, I was in my little spot against the corner of the school, (I can't really play like the rest of the fillies because of my leg, so I tend to sit around and try to find ways to entertain myself) when Interstellar came over and asked me what I was doing. Since I was in the middle on a poem, I quickly shut the box, which was probably a bad idea, because he looked a little surprised. He asked if it was private. I said, well, yes. So he decided to leave, but I stopped him. I don't know why, I guess I didn't want that to keep us apart, so I invited him to sit and chat. He looked rather pleased, and smiled. But more with his eyes than his mouth. So he did.
It was awkward at first, we kind of just sat there, not really saying anything. Then he asked me what it was like living in Manhattan before coming to Ponyville. I didn't know what to say. So I said that it wasn't much different.
He looked surprise, saying that he heard that Manehatten was huge and glamorous and great for musical performances.
The last part startled me. "Musical Performances?"
He responded that his talent was music and songwriting. His cutie mark, the shooting star, represented his love for performing, mostly star and night themed songs.
My face grew bright red. I couldn't help but exclaim to him that I thought his talent was astronomy. He laughed, saying that many ponies would think that at first glance, but he showed me his cutie mark again, and I noticed that a few stars surrounding the larger star were actually small music notes. I buried my face in my hoofs.
Interstellar didn't look too upset about it, and he himself said that he thought the very same thing until his aunt Sweetie Belle (who also loved to sing) showed him otherwise.
After I apologized a dozen times to him for misunderstanding, Interstellar returned to the topic of Manehattan, asking about all the amazing sights there were.
I responded with the few places I had been to in Manehatten. I've seen the Statue of Liberty, and I'm familiar with the noise and the hustle and bustle of the place. I've only seen a few shows on Brindleway, such as Pony Pan, Colts and Dolls, and one Shakespony play (I don't remember the name but it had a queen of breezies). I also told him that once my mother and I came across a lovely clothing shop. I had only looked inside but the dresses were so lovely, and expensive. As I said this, I realized that Carousel Boutique had a similar design.
When I mentioned this to Interstellar, he said that his mother actually did have a clothing store in Manehatten, as well as Canterlot and a few other places too. Sometimes, his mother goes to her shops to check up with the managers. When I heard this, I was surprised that Interstellar hadn't already been to Manehatten, If his mother has to go there every so often.
Interstellar said that his mother hasn't gone in a long time, probably because she has to take care of him and his sister. His father isn't always home either, because he's busy with his own work.
I wish I could bring Interstellar to Manehatten. Just so that he could see the place he dreams about.
It's getting late, i should go to bed. I still haven't found an Element of Harmony to represent.
Love, Citrine
Author's Note
OMG! It's been a while since I've updated, haven't I? I think every chapter I put out from now in is going to still remain in draft status until I see otherwise. So things may change or be removed over time. But for now, RELISH IN THE FACT THAT I AM NOT DEAD!!
Dear Princess Luna,
Miss Cherilee has started teaching us about the Elements of Harmony! My mother once told be about them, how they defended Equestria from Changelings, an evil Draconiquis (is that how you spell it? I don't know), an evil unicorn tyrant overlord, and a centaur! I have to say that it's the first time in class that I've actually been excited about something! Heck, you've probably met them. I'm envious, I've really wanted to meet them, Miss Cherilee said that all six of them live here in Ponyville! I can't believe it!
Unfortunately, my foster parents don't approve of the Elements of Harmony. The elements themselves are crystals representing an aspect of friendship, and six ponies can represent one of those elements. My foster parents don't aprove because they say that if the elements never existed, then Equestria would be a much happier place. I don't know why they say that when the Elements are the reason Equestria is so peaceful in the first place!
We have to recite the importance of each element, say what each element means in the way of friendship, and say which element we would represent ourselves. But, I don't know what element I'd represent. The six elements are loyalty, kindness, generosity, laughter, honesty, and magic. On top of that, we have to do the project in partners! I wasn't to keen on that part, mainly because I wasn't really friends with anypony in my class. What surprised me was that Interstellar stepped in and offered to be my partner. I don't know why he is so kind to me. I'm not pretty, not with my matted yellow coat and orange mane. I'm not like any of the fillies in my class. I don't know why he would take an interest in me. Glittering Gold, of course, glared at me. And Shining Silver, always following her sister's lead, did the same.
Unfortunately, now I have to try and convince my foster parents to let me out of the house to meet Interstellar to work on the project! OR try and convince them to let Interstellar come to MY house to work on it! I don't know what to do! The project is due in two weeks, so I may as well update you every other day or so. So far I've only been sending you letters every four to five days, normally on the weekends. There's not a lot going on in my life, I just like to write to you.
I hear Moon Prism coming, so I'm going to send this off quickly before she gets a hold of it.
Love,
Citrine