Rainbow Dash woke up that morning feeling the way she always feels, like bitch ass rainbows and goddamn sunshine. She put on her studded Hottopic exclusive belt and her pentagram earrings. She slipped on her vampire midriff and slipped her white platform boots over her red fishnets. She applied her goth chic makeup with a smile and a wink to her mirror. She was pumped, she was hyped for the day ahead of her. She even sang.
Rising up, on the go!
What’s to come, I don’t know.
Getting up, getting out!
Seeing what’s this day’s about.
Going to have fun today.
Nothing getting in my way.
Going to have a one of a kind,
And so sublime.
Wonderful DAY!
“Hum” She said to herself. “Who should I hang out with today?” But seeing how Rainbow Rash’s brain goes at like Super Sonic the Hedgehog speed, she made up her mind right away. “TWILIGHT!”
She ran out her front door and down the grassy knoll to Twilight’s broke ass tree slum. Twilight was poking at it with her French manicured nails. Twilight was dressed in a yellow plastic mini dress with tiger print leggings and ten inch high heals. “Interesting.” She said, then wrote down in her lacey pink Minions journal with a yaoi of Stuart and Bob on the front.
Dashy landed next to Twihard and said “Yo Twi-Tilly! Want to hang out?”
Twilightlight looked up from her notes, “Uh like no!” She said, “I got like work for the Princess, I don’t have time to play stupid fucking games.”
Dash frowned, “Hay bitch, what’s with the tone? You know Twilight, you used to be really nice but ever since like season 4, you’ve been sort of a bitch. Like what happened to the friendship?”
“Uh ass wipe, I still got friendship.” Twilight’s horn began to glow, “See, I got magic! Friendship is magic. If I got magic, then I got friendship. Read a goddamn book why don’t yeah!”
Rainbow dash took a moment then said. “Ok…can we at least just talk like civil people instead of like the Kardashians?”
“It depends, what you want to talk about?”
“Well, there’s Fluttershy being Discord’s baby’s mama.”
Twilight snotted, “Humph, so predictable of a shit brain, talking about gossip. This is MLP not TMZ, retard. Ugh, I can’t think straight when you are saying such meaningless words. So just leave me alone, ass face!”
With that, Rainbow Dash walked away from Twilight. She felt very very sad, as if someone kicked her in her non-existent balls. Dash then began to sing.
Twilight came to town,
To turn her life around.
She was a dork with no friends,
But then she saw the light.
Her beautiful white knights,
Us elements of harmony.
But then she became a princess,
And now it seems she doesn’t need us.
May as well go away and cry.
Dash sat under a tree crying. Discord was trotting through the forest in a little red riding hood and spotted the blue pony who was also blue.
“Yo what’s up Rashy, I can’t have the friend of my baby’s mama sad.”
“It’s Twilight, she became a bitch.”
“O dear.” Said Discord fluttering his long scarlet eyelashes. “Well something should be done then.”
“Like what?” asked Dash wiping away a tear.
“Make it law!” said Discord as he clicked his ruby slippers.
“A law?”
“Yesh, make is a law that forbids Twilight from being a bitch!” pulling out his Sailor Mars’s wand and twirling twice.
“Discord, how the hell does someone pass a law like that? It will get shot down before it even gets to the floor.”
“Well.” Discord said while picking at his red painted nails, “You need to break the system. Create an event which causes the government to go into a slight depression. While it is recovering, slip the law in. It will pass right as rain and no one will even notice.”
“Will that actually work? And how do I create a depression without it looking like I am causing chaos to begin with? They could easily find out that it was me and I could be thrown in prison, sent to the moon, or worse, my toys will be pulled from the shelves!”
“You have to break the system in a parallel universe, thus no one can trace it back to you.” Discord the pulled out lipstick from his red pure and started apple-ing it to his lips. “The best way to do that is with the mirror dimension that Twilight went to.”
“Yes, the one which she has fun without us. But the only way to get to it is through the mirror in the palace, and I’m sure someone will see me.”
Discord flung his ginger hair over his shoulder, “Well good thing I can rip holes in the fabric of space and time!” He then scratched the air in front of him and a wormhole appeared.
“Awesome Apple Sauce!” said Dash in shock.
“Now Dash, when ever you want to come back to this world, just call me on this. “ He hands her a smart phone covered in ruby bling bling. “I’m speed dial one.”
“Thanks!” Said Dash. He gave Discord a large kiss on the cheek then jumped into Discord’s hole. Discord’s sexy hole…
Meanwhile in Equestria Girl world thing.
“Oh no it’s the worse thing ever!” screamed other Pinkie.
All of a sudden all the students turned to other Pinkie.
“Rainbow Dash can’t participate in the Friendship Games!” cried other Pinkie.
All of the students then started jumping around like goddamn pansies and sang.
Oh no no! Oh no no!
Rainbow Dash is a no go-oh
Oh me my! Oh me my!
We can’t rely on Fluttershy!
What to do, we will lose!
Crystal prep will bust our fuse!
Oh no no! Oh me my!
Why oh, why oh, WHY!?
Dash then came crashing in through the ceiling like an ex-Disney actress on a wrecking ball. She then hit a locker and was flung across the hall and into other Pinkie.
“What the fuck!” said other Pinkie as she lie on her back with her legs shaking around like a helpless turtle.
“I’m so sorry!” said Dash as she tried to walk on her new legs. She stumbled and fell right on top of other Pinkie.
“Ahh! Lesbians!” Screamed a student and all the students ran around in a frenzy and eventually all of them cleared out the hallway just leaving the two helpless on the ground.
Other Applejack was walking down the hallway. She was dressed in long black pants and a black turtleneck. On her head was a black fedora with a pin with the logo of Tumblr on it. She was looking through her Tumblr feed when she spotted the two helpless girls.
“Apple help us! She’s crushing me!” screamed other Pinkie.
“Uh no, because that would be ablist. You’re so privileged with your abilities that you have no idea what it is like to be disabled. Why I am disabled, I have exploding diarrhea which only like 1000 people have. Come to me when you have a real issue.”
“Hey ass wipe!” said Rainbow Dasg. “I’ve got a disability!”
“Uck, it better be a real one and not some fake one people that people use so they can have fake triggers and stuff.”
“Nah it’s real.” Said Rainbow Dash. She then flashed double birds, “It’s called FUCK YOU!”
Other Applejack got really pissed by this, “You know you shouldn’t have done that…doing such behaviors triggers negative emotions.” Other Applejack slowly pulled out a gun and shot it at a near by locker. “Trigger me again and it will be your face!”
Other Apple left and the two was stuck on the floor scrambling until they got onto their feet. They then looked closely at each other. Other Pinky was dressed in a skimpy cheerleader outfit with platform sandals and yellow eye shadow.
“Hey you sort of look like Pinkie Pie.” Said Dash.
“I am Pinkie Pie.” Said other Pinkie. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to break the system.” Said Dash.
“Yes! I get it now! You are all better now and can now compete in the Friendship Games!” A huge smile spread across her face like a old man perv watching a porno.
“The Friendship Games?”
“Oh no! The fencing sword though the head did more damage then I thought…But I can explain.” The hall then went dark and Pinkie Pie walked into a spotlight.
Every year it comes to this.
We must do our best.
Friendship games and we will win.
Better then the rest.
But Crystal Prep are always first.
What are we to do?
We must to strong and fight the day,
And sell a toy or two.
Friendship Games! Friendship Games!
Fight and we will win.
Friendship Games! Friendship Games!
Fight, fight, win, win, WIN!
“Wow,” said Rainbow Rash, “Where do I sign up?”
Pinkie turned slowly to Dash, “You already have.”
Dash and the other girls were preparing for the Friendship Games. Dash thought it was weird how there were weird parallels to all the people she knew back at home. But for some reason, these one’s seemed more two-dimensional.
“OK everyone.” Said other Pinky, now she was in a bikini and rainbow stilettos. She was wearing even more yellow makeup then before and she looked like her face was just covered in a blob of yellow. “I prepared a new Wonder Bolts cheer, want to hear it?”
“Yeah!” said everyone two-dimensionally.
“Ok…1…2…3…AHHHHHH!” screamed other Pinkie.
“1…2…3…Ah!” Yelled all the students.
“No! No! No! I messed up that’s not my cheer…I was just screaming at that!” Pinkie pointed her foot long, yellow fingernail. Everyone turn to look and saw…other Twilight.
All the other main six minus Twilight, Rash, and Applejack ran to her and licked her face.
“Ew! Stop!” screeched other Twilight smacking them away.
“Wait! The real Twilight liked face licks! This is a fake!” screamed other Pinkie.
“Or, it could be the “other Twilight”, you know the one missing from the first film.” Said other Applejack. “I wrote all about it in a Tumblr post, I will link it to you.”
Other Pinkie ignored her, “So does that mean other Twilight is going to be attending our school? That would mean we could have a Twitwi all the time!”
“Um, I wrote about this in my post.” Said other Applejack shoving her smart phone into Pinkie Pie’s face.
Other Pinkie Pie grabbed other Applejack’s phone and threw it out the window. “It would be great, having a 24/7 Twilight.”
“Um…I’m not attending your school. I attend Crystal Prep.” Said other Twilight.
“What!?” all the student gasped.
“Wow!” Thought Dash, “Maybe I don’t have to do anything, maybe it will just destroy itself.”
All the students then began to march around and sing.
I guess this is a battle,
I guess this is a fight.
You may look like Twilight
And that isn’t right.
But Wonder Colts vs Shadows Farts
Get ready and let’s start.
This song in now a montage, oh oh
Come on baby let’s go go go.
Pinkie win the cheer competition
A star wipe transition.
And Rainbow makes a goal!
This song in now a montage, oh oh
Come on baby let’s go go go.
Applejack loses at track
Fluttershy bombed the hacky sacks
Oh no, will we lose?
This song in now a montage, oh oh
Come on baby let’s go go go.
We are neck in neck, who will win?
Is it us or Twilight’s twin.
Center stage all in lights
Go, go, stay strong win the fight!
The music faded and other Celestia was standing on a podium in front of the crowd.
“We counted up the scores and the winner is…US (whatever the name of the school is).” Everyone cheered. “It was close but if other Twilight didn’t switch teams at the last second, we would have lost.” Everyone clapped. Everything was happy and perfect. However, some fart face had to ruin it.
“Stop the Facebook posts!” Yelled other Applejack as she ran on stage, “That girl right there is an imposter!” She pointed a Dash. “She’s not the real Dash, she’s fake! And as a Tumblr users, a hate fakers. Our team should be disqualified, it only fair to everyone.”
Everyone was moaning and talking. Dash was pissed. She ran on stage and round house kicked other Applejack upside the head. Dash ran to the mic and said, “I am mama! I am the real Dash!”
Everyone cheered and cried, they were happy.
“No your not!” said a voice which made everyone go silent.
The other Dash sat in a wheel chair with half of her face wrapped in bandages. She was in a green hospital gown and white fuzzy slippers. “I don’t know where you came from but you are not me.” Then a storm began to brew, “So get the fuck out!”
All of a sudden the other Dash was using weird psychic powers and students were flying everywhere. Dash jumped off the stage and tried to run but the other Dash levitated her wheelchair and chased her. The closer the two Dashes got together, the more the universe seemed to collapse on itself. The two were a yard apart and they seemed to have formed a black hole of stuff just flying around. Dash then remembered Discord’s smart phone. She pulled it out and pushed the first speed dial.
“Hello?” said Discord.
“Get me the fuck out of here!” Screamed Dash into the phone.
Other Dash then grabbed Dash’s arm and it began to fall apart. Dash noticed that the whole world was nothing but junk just flying around.
A wormhole then opened next to her…and a human Discord stuck his head out.
“Dear god girl! What did you do to this place?! Quick jump in my hole!” Rashy jumped in but part of her arm was left behind in other Dash’s melting hand.
Dash and Discord flew through the wormhole and popped out the other end in Celestia’s throne room. The other girls were there as well as Celestia.
“Wait…What is going on here?” ask Dash.
“I hope you learned an important lesson in friendship from your latest adventure.”
“LOL wut?”
“I set this all up so that you could learn an important lesson.” Said Celestia.
“Wait, what lesson, I think I just destroyed a parallel dimension.”
“Yeah, but you won the Friendship Games with teamwork and hard work.”
Dash stood there dumb founded, “Nah nah Bitch, I out. I am god damn out!”
Rainbow Rash then left the room, went home, and crawled into bed and stayed there for the next 3 months.
The End.
