Spartan, Warrior of war.

After cleaning my Assault Rifle, my Shotgun, AND my Pistol, I put them back together again laying the on the cave floor, “Shall we take inventory?” I hear Cor- Karma voice ring through my helmet and mind in the strange duality I have came to expect from her. I look in combat pockets rooting through them taking out everything I can find in them, but I leave the strange infinite ammo pouch alone knowing I don't want to know.

Luckily I found two rags in the pockets, a soft small one most likely for cleaning the gun parts or wiping something needing a soft cloth. The other one is a very large, almost tent sized cover so naturally I move all the gun parts there and the rest of my items.

A can of Bio-foam which honestly surprises me as I thought there was an internal system for it, “There is, this is for soldiers or anyone else needing it.” I nod as I route through the pockets putting the Meowth token for the Team Rocket beside the gun making sure I mentally categorizes my new belongings. On the last pocket the object seems stuck in the kevelaer pocket. I pull on it popping out a...Holy shit thats a big diamond. A large, black diamond the size of a fucking BASEBALL! Oh god I hear the voices again.

“I am the protector of the innocent, warrior of the weak, call upon me for assistance and I shall come. Call for the Gravity Shifter and I will make those who harm others beg for mercy as they are crushed at my feet. Hold this gem close to thine heart and I shall be at your side as a fellow warrior!”’

“Yo-”

“I hear it.”

“Shoul-”

“Go ahead.”

I follow the the instructions of the gem. If its a prank I could just give it to Drake as an addition to his horde. I chuckle as I feel it pulse once.

A red and black hole swirled into existence, red lighting running along its edges. Out of it, a young woman floated out. Her long blonde hair gently waved in the nonexistent wind, along with the edges of her black, leather jacket. She touched her combat boot covered feet to the ground and lightly brushed some dirt from her clean khakis. She smiled beautifully some would call when she noticed me.

“Hello there, nice to meet you.”

I look down at her slightly to look her in the eyes, “Mass Effect?”

She blinked before getting a little miffed. “Mass Effect? MASS EFFECT?! YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT PIECE OF JUNK GAME COULD HOLD UP TO ME?!”

“Hey don't hate on it! You just had the whole Psionic vibe going on with the mystic floating goddess shit.” I rise my hands in a defensive position.

“It’s not mysticism! I manipulate gravity! It’s in the speech of my token for Dieu’s sake!”

“We’re just trying to find out what's happening! Plus that FITS Mass Effect’s whole thing!”

“Mass Effect has nothing on what I do!” The woman grumbled slightly before forcing herself to be calm. “Let’s… let’s start over before I really blow a gasket. My name is Kat Shifter, I’m the Gravity Queen. And you are?”

“I'm just called Spartan, Ma’am.” I find myself going into an automatic salute.

I hear the outside Speakers switch to Karma’s AI feed, “And I’m Karma, this oaf’s watcher.”

“At ease, soldier,” she smirked. “Well met to the both of you. I’ll admit, haven’t seen an AI in a long time. Good to know someone’s out there making good use of them.”

“This is an information GOLD MINE! With this much of input of data I can probably live a year more than the estimated time of rampancy! HE just runs and hides form colorful ponies.”

“Hey at least i'm not cursing a tree for looking like it's carved by a child!”

The two descend into a shouting match about the ponies, an incident about a girl scream and general teasing.

Kat just stood there, looking at her watch before sighing. She took a deep breath before, “SHUT UP ALREADY!!”

They continue to bicker the mic on the outside of the armour turned off but the speakers left on as the air tight seal along with thick plating basically creates a soundproof room.

Her voice is met with an equally loud one male one form farther in the cave, “WHY DON'T YOU? DRAGONS ARE TRYING TO SLEEP SPARTAN!”

“Oi!” Kat shouted at the other voice. “I ain’t talkin’ to you, so shat up, ya walkin’ handbag!”

A black dragon the size of the Spartan walks in with bags under his eyes of a sickening purple, “OK who the hell are you and why is the spartan screaming at himself?”

“He’s fighting with his AI apparently and my name is Kat Shifter. Your friend summoned me. Hmm…” She eyed the dragon closely, looking him over several times. “Well now, I don’t think I’ve seen a dragon with your colorization in a long time. Not since the dragon wars have I seen a black dragon, sad to say I was the one to have killed her.”

“I'm not evil, I was cursed with those colors. The colors of the Weak Fire and Clay Scales. But hopefully he’ll help me and I can horde my books and valuables farther.” The black dragon shrugs saying a defeated and depressed sigh.

“I didn’t say you were evil,” Kat shook her head. “The one I mentioned just happened to have been on the wrong side of the war. There are no true villains in war, my good lizard. You don’t have to worry about me hurting you, though. It would look it terrible on my goddess portfolio for killing one of those I protect.”

He sighs watching the Spartan, “Maybes he needs a good kick to get working again.”

“I can do that,” Kat smirked evilly. She reared up her left leg before kicking the Spartan directly in the face, slamming him into the far wall instantly. “That should be enough power, the armor should have protected him enough.”

“Shields at 5%”

“Why did you-! Oh hey Drake.” I wave to the Dragon who sighs walking back to his gold room, “Ok back on subject. WHY DID YOU KICK ME?!?”

“You wouldn’t shut up,” she shrugged.

“Doesnt mean you kick me!”

“Be nice to the Lady, Spartan, for all you know it's the last one you’ll ever see!”

“I'm not even attracted to her Karma!” A deep sigh is heard from the speakers once more as they focuses back on their sort of guest, “I'm sorry but may I ask you a few questions?”

“Go ahead… but I’m a little insulted you don’t find me attractive. I take quite a bit of pride in my lovely looks, you jerk.”

“I'm a Spartan. I'm basically nurtured down there. So yea its not your fault. But I guess the questions start off simple. What world are we on?”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m not entirely sure. Sometimes it’s called Equus, or Gaia, or even just Equestria.”

“Inhabitants? I saw technicolor ponies along with Sasuke over there.”

“Yeah, that’s normal. Ponies, dragons, griffons, minotaurs, zebras, cows. That’s your typical Equestria for you.”

“Leaders? Also tech and military levels.”

“Normally, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna who have co-ruled for centuries. I can’t give you tech or military levels as they vary from universe to universe.”

The Spartan sigh taking out Karmas AI chip setting it down and allows a 5’4 holographic version of Cortana to show off, “She wanted out.”

“Its stuffy in there. Now Can you see if anything is off from baseline Equestria?”

“Not from here I can’t. I’m only a physicist/soldier, not much else.” Kat shrugged. “I doubt it’s anything that could be harmful to a Spartan, except with magic. That could be a danger if he pisses off the wrong people.”

“Well I think Plasma shields would scramble the effects of most spells and they have no clue what their transforming. Also this is a rather personal question.”

“Personal question?” Kat asked, a little suspicious.

“How much do you weigh? Or are your using your gravity powers to hid your true weight?”

Kat stood still for a moment before smiling. “Sweetie, have your shields recharged yet?”

“Look over there!” The Spartan points behind her.

She grabbed the Spartan by the face mask, lifting him into the air. “Answer the question, sweetie,” she said, never losing her smile.

“I. Regret. Nothing. Muffintop.”

“Shields are at 100%. Fire away Honey.”

Kat immediately slammed the Spartan to the floor… repeatedly. After about ten slams, she dropped him back into the crater. “Never insult a lady, sweetie. It never ends well.”

The Spartan laughs a bit, “Piss off a goddess off my bucket list.”

“Be glad I’m not mad enough to kill you,” Kat glared. “It’s a lot easier than you would hope it is.”

“ I didn't think you would. That's why I let him. Honestly I think your kinder than that but who I am beside a hyper intelligent smart AI who has the best body and face reading program.”

“I may be kind, but even I have my limits. I’m a soldier after all, born and raised as one. I just also happen to be a smart soldier. Your friend here should be careful who he ticks off as their are terrors here that make even goddesses shudder.”

Karam laughs, “Actually he predicted what you would do and took out my AI chip to avoid me harm. I thank you for your help, how can I dissummon you?”

“Wow, that’s a little insulting. I’m here for only five minutes and you want me gone. You two are no fun at all.”

The AI hologram smiles, “When we got more stuff you'll be the first we call. We’re learning but were honestly thankful for your help. I promise you’ll get liquor and food. Deal?”

“Eh, I suppose,” Kat shrugged. “Normally, to get rid of one of us, you say the contract is complete or some nonsense like that. I just make my own exits.” Kat waved her hand, creating another portal. “Just give me a call if you need anything.”

The AI nods and waves, “Say goodbye to the Nice Lady, Spartan.”

“Goodbye Kat and I challenge you to a chugging competition next we meet!”

“And you will lose because I can’t get drunk~.” She disappeared into the portal.

He chuckles falling to sleep in his nice crater, “Neither can I.”