1-"Chissà domani/ su che cosa metteremo/ le mani."
Rumble Tumble
Chapter 1
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Greetings. I am Vincent Siterio, damned for one hundreds and five years and twenty days. Some would say I was a man of wealth, but with little taste and less mental stability. I, for one, saw myself as a man of wealth and taste, but I couldn’t argue with their assessment of my mental stability. For it was the truth, no matter how I felt about it.”
I suppose that you would rather hear me how I have gotten down here, in the midst of snakes, flames and agonized damned.
So be it.
The day that was the prelude of my journey to damnation felt like any other, just another day during my study of law.
I had attended to the classes I needed for the day, trying my best to learn as much as possible. I remember that it was a lesson about the Right to Inventory and the cases of when the heirs cannot use it, and the professor was explaining it rather clearly, to the point that even the ones that had subscribed to Law to get a cheap degree, thusly paying little to no heed to the professor's explanations, had understood everything he said.
After finishing the day’s classes, I headed to the washroom. Inside, I knocked on the stall door, receiving a response that was little more than a grunt.
"Fuck off," he said to me.
I opened my mouth to respond, offended by the behavior of the man inside the stall. However, as I tried to do so, I felt a sudden surge of pain envelop me, as if hundreds upon hundreds of matches had been lit upon my skin. It felt like my hair was singed off my head, my flesh melted from my bones.
I fell down, screaming and writhing in agony. Then, there was darkness.
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When consciousness returned, I no longer felt as if I had been burnt alive. Instead, I felt well-rested, as if I had gotten a full night’s sleep. I fluttered my eyes open, sat up, and noticed small gray hooves holding the covers of the bed. I could feel these hooves, I could feel they were mine. I could also feel something twitching on my back, mobile ears atop my head, and a tail. I suspected I was no longer in my own body.
When I looked up, I saw a bedroom, with walls seemingly made out of cartoonish clouds and furniture of similar construction. It was clear as day that I was no longer human. Instead, I appeared to possess the form of a character from a cartoon I used to like, back before I enrolled in university. That show was My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and I resembled one of the ponies, specifically one of the foals.
Instead, I was possessing the one of a character from a cartoon I used to like, in a time not too long before my university enrolling, called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. On top of that, I had been seemingly turned into one of the younger ponies.
The oddness of the situation did not escape to my mind which, immediately, started to hypotize how that was possible.
"This must be a hallucination!" My Moderate Party, namely, my rationality and main owner of my mind, shouted on the top of his lungs.
"This is a sign of Ahura Mazda, for us all to repent and start over!" Was my Catonian Party's response, which was my piousness personified and, in hindsight, my main ally and adviser in this journey.
"This is awesome! We're in Equestria! Atumn Breeze, eat your own heart out, 'cuz I actually made it!" Was the answer of the Anarchist Party, a union of my most basic instincts and my hedonism.
"Yay! Free underage sex everybody!" Was, unsurprisingly, the reaction of the Free Whores and Hormones Party to the news of a body transfer.
Ignoring the voices, I pinched my left “arm” with my right hand, or, rather, hoof. I felt the pain, which made me yelp, but didn’t wake me up from the dream.
I froze in shock for a brief minute, trying my best to realize what was going on.
I was a young Pegasus colt of a cartoon of my past. I had no idea on how this happened, no idea about what is going on back in my homeland, I have no idea if I will ever go back to enjoy my treasures, my wife and my future anymore. I was completely lost.
"No! No! Why this had to happen? Why? What did I do to you, oh Just Judge, oh Yadz?" My Moderate Party cried out, as I felt pain in my head, which made me wince.
"You didn't enjoy life!" The Anarchist Party answered "I mean, holy shit, you've been boring as shit in the past two years. I mean, planning to have a child already? Are you mad? At least here we can have some fun!"
"Maybe it's a reward! I mean, you used to have such a small dick back home, maybe this colt has a nice huge cock in tow!" The FWHP said with a chuckle. In all of this, the Catonian Party only sighed.
"And why does it matter now?" The Moderate Party said, my head hurting even more, which made me hold my temples with my newly-found hooves. "Why do you have to think only about those two things? Why can't you see this is a serious situation, no matter how externally bright it looks? Why am I stuck with..."
"Well, duh, we're the embodiment of those things, it'd be weird if we didn't think about that," the Anarchist Party said "besides, we could find a way out of this, if that Discord guy is still around, or if the Princesses..."
"No!" the FWHP said, interrupting the interrupting Anarchist Party "We need to go and enjoy the forbidden fruit of kid sex! We couldn't do it back home due to the law, but now we're kids and we aren't accountable for our actions until proven otherwise, we should take advantage of that!"
The Catonian Party let out a chocked-up sound of disgust, as the Moderate Party started to bellow, bringing searing hot pain to my head. I whimpered loudly as result of this.
"You worthless, wretched idiot! I refuse to accept that! In fact, I am tired to deal with this, and, since the situation is hopeless, there is only oen way out!"
I heard a blasting boom in my head, which made me make a flop on my bed and flutter my tiny wings rapidly, as the pain in my head disappeared. My head now felt lighter, and, overall, I was feeling... better.
"Nice going, jackass, you shot yourself!" The anarchist Party said, as he then suddenly put on a celebratory rock song "I won!"
"Ohoh! Lovely, let's go now, we have lots to do today!" The FWHP shrieked in joy, clapping at the music's rhythm.
"I am too weak and too old... I seriously hope that you know what you are doing, and that you are jesting about commit such act, Free whores and Hormones Party, for such deed would not do us any favor..." The Catonian Party said with a sigh, before starting to chant a quick funeral prayer dedicated to the Moderate Party. I decided to let the two unruly Parties celebrate and the Catonian Party to mourn the death of the Moderate Party, before trying to move on with the day.
First thing I did, once this was over, was to remove the covers of my bed with my hooves. Done so, I rolled out of bed and tried to stand up on my fours. I wobbled, as I was of course unaccustomed to the quadrupedal position, but I did not fall.
Once I had managed to get stability upon my new hooves, it was time for make the first step towards the bedroom's door which was, thankfully, already open.
"Left first!" The Anarchist Party shouted, as I tentatively moved that hoof forward.
"No, right first!" The FWHP shouted, making me retract the other hoof.
"Left!"
"Right"
"Left!"
"Right!"
"Right!" And, as soon as the Anarchist Party said that, likely in the attempt to "win" over the FWHP, I did put my right hoof forward, before dragging the left hoof along, and inverting the same process for my rear legs. It was then that I realized just how hard it is to walk if you have never done it, as, by calculating each step carefully (or, should I say, let two disgustingly immature children argue about that) I walked a very short distance in what felt like an eternity.
However, sure enough I was out of the bedroom and into the hallway, where a black Pegasus, clearly a stallion due to his pomes and his rod begin barely covered by his tail, was standing by a door. My Anarchist part exploded in a fit of excited giggles.
"Hey, it's Thunderlane, and we're Rumble! Oh my-"
"Don't invoke the name of Mazda that way, worm!" the Catonian Party shouted before he could mention Ahura Mazda. The Anarchist Party said "Old grump, less shouting, more chilling. We're in Equestria as a little colt, we can do whatever we want!"
"Hey Rumble!" the stallion said "How's going?" Thunderlane said in the meanwhile. Without any thought, I moved forward, stumbling a couple of times but not actually face planting, which appeared to be great source of amusement for Thunderlane.
"Eheh, still sleepy, little brother?" He said.
"Nah, we're so fresh, we could suck someone's balls!" The FWHP prompted in, before begin followed by the Anarchist Party saying "We're all cool, brother!"
I sighed, as I decided to take the Anarchist Party's advice and sya that phrase, with some variations.
"I'm all cool, brother. How about you?" I said, making Thunderlane chuckle.
"Okay then, guess that you want your breakfast milk cold, then." Thunderlane said.
Author's Note
So, this shit.
Born as a way to combine three fic ideas in one, and thus get thsoe plot bunnies outta of the way. I'm not completely sure if this idea is any good, but I will try.
