Perfect Situation

by skysky2112

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Fluttershy, Random, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Lyra, Romance
Length: 3184

A song fic, parady, and AU story based on the song by WEEZER

Based on the Song, and music video,by WEEZER, I present to you the first known pairing of...LYRASHY!
ok, nevermind that, sorry. Please comment, reviews are really helpfull.
Song and MLP is DEFINETLY NOT OWNED BY ME!
hope you enjoy

Published 2012-05-27 02:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-27 02:24:02 UTC

Chapter 1

“OK PEOPLE! Show’s on in 5!” yelled the big man in charge of the venue. He was speaking into the head set to communicate with the various stage hands working furiously fast to make sure the show played out perfectly.

“Jeremy, how are we on lights?” he yelled looking up words at the array of light boxes above him. “Were clear here sir.” Jeremy’s static voice replied through the head set, as a dazzling array of lights in various colors danced to life. “Excellent! Maddy, how about the stage effects? Any problems?” He moved his attention to the side stage where the smoke boxes started to spray small bits of smoke out of them before turning into a steady stream for a little bit. “No problems here!” She yelled, from behind the smoke machines.
“Perfect!” he yelled, showing his satisfaction.

Looking down at his watch, noticing the time, his satisfaction is short lived as he see’s that there’s only a few minutes before the band has to be on stage. Thinking quickly, he rushed as fast as he could, which was surprisingly fast for the very heavy man, to get the back rooms where the visiting group was waiting for their time to go on.

*Back stage alleyway*

Fans were screaming their heads off as they waited for their favorite group. Many of them were dressed in various colors with various names or band members on them. Some of them wore brown modernized Stetson hats with the name Gildutter (pronounced Gild-utter) sown into the front of it, showing their fandom of the groups drummer, A.J, or Applejack as she was known by the masses.

Another group of fans were wearing neon blue track jackets with a rainbow lightning bolt symbol on the back, along with their varying hair styles colored in rainbow colors. These fans all considered themselves the number 1 fans of one of the bands guitarist Rainbow Dash. Her real name was actually Rey Dash, she was called Rainbow because of her natural rainbow colored hair.

These groups were one of the three largest ones there. Together, both took up half of the already overflowing alleyway of fans waiting for their obsession to arrive. The 3 other groups were of the last 3 members of the band. One of them all had mint green T-shirts or hats with the picture of a golden lyre on it, representing the symbol of the bands lead other guitarist, Lyra. She and Rainbow Dash didn’t stick to the norm of having a rhythm and lead guitarist, instead they alternated songs where one would play lead while the other did back up, then switching on the next one. Other times they would allow the other to play lead on a song that originally was their song for lead. They would even play lead both at the same time when they did their outro jams.

Her fan base was relatively small compared to the others. Not disturbingly small, but about a 1/3rd times smaller than the others. But her fans weren’t the only miniscule group. The bands bass player and backing vocalist shared that title with her. Octavia VonClef was proud of her small group of fans, saying to interviewers that ‘They know what a true musician looks like.’ Her fans all wore black bow ties around their necks and had their hair done up as if they were going to a formal event.

Finally, the last group of fans was the largest of them all. Taking up the other entire front half of the ally way, all of them were there to see the band’s lead vocalist, Gilda Griffon. The bad girl of the music world. She was the one that the press loved to cover, due to her wild and rebellious nature; always throwing a destructive party, trashing stage equipment, drinking heavily before shows and somehow able to screech her heart out, striping while on stage and pulling a young fan girl, occasionally the random guy if she was drunk enough, onto the stage to make out with them and cop a feel or two. She didn’t care about anything but herself, having a good time, and making money. So what if she started a few fires, the masses loved it. All of her fans were dressed in dark brown leather jackets with a griffon etched into the back. Most of them wore purple eye liner as well; practically all of the fans there were female…except for that one fat guy in the way back with his hair rainbow colors, with a Stetson hat, bow tie, brown leather jacket with a mint green lyre patch sown on the arm.

Suddenly, a large white limousine pulls up to the ally way, fans squishing to the sides to clear a path for the vehicle. As it pulls up next to the back stage door, the driver, a man young man with neon green hair, a dark purple drivers uniform, and a name tag that had the name scratched out and read SPIKE in dark black marker, clawed his way through the screaming fans to open the side door for the group and their entourage out of the limo.

First to get out of the car was Octavia, accompanied by her best friend and occasional musical collaborator, DJ PON-3, or Vinyl Scratch as she called her. The back stage door shot open as the groups body guard rushed to clear a way for the group. He was a big man, muscular and tall, he had orange blonde hair and had a piece of wheat sticking out of his mouth, showing that he was either from the country or just liked to eat fresh wheat. He was Big Macintosh, A.J’s big brother. He didn’t talk much, but that was just his strong silent type personality.

Once the first two were safely inside the building, he rushed back out into the mass of wild fans as the rest of security arrived to help hold them back, The next two out of the vehicle were A.J and Rainbow dash, which brought the large groups of fans to scream their heads off as they tried to get close to their favorite musicians.

“Hey Big Mac, Looks like ya gotcha work cut out for ya.” Apple Jack said humor fully to her brother. “Yep!” was all his response as he hustled the two into the building. Rushing back he already saw the next two people leaving the vehicle. Gilda stepped out half hazard like from the limo, with her signature worn leather jacket, tight torn blue jeans and boots, with her messy white mop of hair strewn over her sunglasses covered face. It was obvious that she was drunk, she always was. Pushing her way to the door with one arm, while the other was wrapped around her ‘girlfriend’, Fiona ‘flutter’ Shy.
‘Girlfriend’ was a loose word to her. She still screwed the every hot babe she saw, she still openly made out with them, and she really did not care if she knew or not. Fluttershy was not her type. She liked babes who knew they were hot, and openly showed it. Fluttershy didn’t do that, she never did that. She was annoyingly quiet, never did any partying, and never drank or really showed her a good time. She hated her to an insane degree. But her manager and the record label have different opinions.

Unknown to her fans and the world, Gilda never actually sang any of the songs she was given credit for. She never wrote a single word of the songs they played. She was the daughter of their record labels, Griffon Records, president, and acting as a spoiled rich girl, begged her dad to make her famous, and he did. They didn’t care that she was a talentless bitch, she was making them money. So to make up for the fact that she couldn’t carry a tune, they one of the new interns, whom they caught singing while listening to her I-pod, sing over Glida. And through the magic of Technology, they made it appear that it was Glida doing all the work, while she was hidden behind the curtain.

To explain why this timid pink haired girl, who always had a butter fly hair clip in her hair, was with the band, the P.R people made up the idea that she would be Gilda’s ‘Girlfriend’…and nobody was ever the wiser.

The rest of the band new, but each time they tried to help their timid friend, Gilda would but in and tell them to ‘Fuck off!” She preferred to keep her rock star life, and if it meant lying to people and crushing a young goody goodies dreams, she was all fine and dandy with that.

The last two to exit the band were Lyra, who high fived all of the fans on her way out into the building while laughing playfully, and the bands manager Twilight Sparkle,. Twilight was dressed in a dark purple business coat, with a matching skirt as well. She was looking over her tablet, going over the schedule, for the 10th time since arriving off the plane.

‘Ok, leave airport, done. Arrive to ally full of fans, done. Handle drunk and violent Gilda…’ Twilight thought with a mental sigh. She hated this part of the job. Gilda would get heavily drunk and start yelling at everyone, start trashing the room and get annoyingly difficult.

When she entered the back stage door, she was greeted with the sight of a drunk and pissed off Gilda yelling at a cowering Fluttershy. Rainbow dash and Apple Jack were trying to hold back the drunken women while Lyra, Octavia, and Vinyl were comforting the sobbing pink haired girl.

“Yeah that’s right you bitch, cry like the pussy you are!” Gilda yelled with a slur in her speech. “Gilda your drunk! Will you lay the fuck off of her you bitch?!” Rainbow yelled back at the white haired women.

“Its ok shy, she’s not going to get ya.’ Lyra said, comforting the crying girl, she wrapped an arm around her, allowing her to cry on her shoulder. Flutter shy clung to the short haired girl, as she sobbed into her shoulder. Lyra rubbed her back softly, trying to calm her down. “Don’t worry shy, I’ll make sure she doesn’t lay a finger on you…” she said softly, as she glared at the white haired drunk.

Lyra had had enough of this routine. Each night before a show, Gilda would push around the timid girl, yell at her, and sometimes beat her, if she was pissed off enough. Lyra hated this more and more each time it happened. She had hated this from the start, wanting to have Fluttershy be their permanent singer and loose the drunk. She, Octavia, Rainbow, and A.J despised Gilda, and hated that they got pushed around by the record company whose president’s daughter wanted to play rock star. After getting to know the shy timid girl, Lyra couldn’t help but notice she started to feel something for her. She loved her kind and gentle nature, her timid habit of hiding behind her long and beautiful hair, her soft and gentle voice. She was in love with it all. The rest of the group new of her crush, they always teased her about it when Fluttershy wasn’t around them and when Gilda was passed out. She had yet to confess her feelings, always thinking it wasn’t time or that she was more into Rainbow Dash’s type, but now…she was hell bent on ending this little nightmare for her.

“Fluttershy, you remember that song you and I wrote?” she whispered into her ear. Her crying had calmed down, and Gilda had went off to the stage to get the crowd ready. Her screaming could be heard from the room. “Hey you Bitches! Get the fuck out here so we can get the show started already!” she yelled as a wave of cheers were heard fallowing her rude order.

“I swear, either we get rid of the bitch or I’m done!” a pissed off Rainbow Dash said. “I hear y’all. I reckon its time for a change.” Applejack said, as she picked up her Stetson from the floor.

“Fluttershy, go get set up, tonight your gonna be singing something different, and I’ll gonna be back there to sing it with you.” Lyra said as she let go of Fluttershy to see a look of surprise on her face. “W-what? Y-you don’t mean…” she said quietly. “Yep, were gonna show that bitch who’s really in charge here.” She said with a smirk on her face.

“Wait…what song are we playin?” A.J, Octavia, and Rainbow Dash said in confusion.

*10 MIN. LATER.*

Fluttershy and Lyra were behind the main curtain that was behind the bands big bilbord name on the stage. Rainbow Dash, Octavia and A.J were on stage with Gilda, who was already starting to vomit up her last bottle of Whisky. “Ugh, H-hey, where the fuck is that dyke bitch Lyra at?” she said in a drunken slur. “She left cause of your drunken ass!” Rainbow Dash yelled back at her, she simply brushed it off, not really caring.

“Lyra, a-are you sure this is ok? I-I mean, w-what if she tells the company? S-she’ll ruin your carri...” She was cut off by Lyra who had planted her lips on her own. The kiss removed all the anxiety she normally felt, and sent a shiver of ecstasy through her body. Closing her eyes, she felt the kiss full of love truly over come her.

Lyra broke off the kiss, as she moved her head back a little to gaze at Fluttershy’s still timid, but daze filled eyes. “Better?” she asked, as the timid singer shyly nodded. “Well, let’s rock it then.”

(If you would like, play the song “Perfect Situation…NOW!)

As she turned on the amp behind her and played a warm up pattern of chords, signaling the others that it was time.

Flutter shy, got close to the microphone as the music started to play, Lyra playing the power chords, while rainbow dash was playing the solo with her sonic-rainboom effects pedal.

“Whats the deal, with my brain,
Why am I so obviously insane…
In my perfect situation, I let love down the drain!

“There’s the pitch, Slow and straight,
All I have to do is swing and im the hero…
But I’m the zero…

Not yet realizing that they were playing a song that she had never heard of, Gilda simply started moving her lips and jumping around in her drunken state, not processing what was coming.

“Hungry nights, once again,
Now its getting unbelievable…
Cause I could not have it better
But I could not have a play!

“From the girls all around,
As they search the night for someone to hold onto…
Just pass through, singing

“Ohhhhhh oh, ohhhhh oh, ohhhhhhhh oh, wooooooo.

Noticing, how the crowd had stopped cheering for her, Gilda noticed that the audience wasn’t looking at her, infact there attention was back to the main part of the stage as the billboard sign started to rise, and the curtain behind it spread open, revealing Fluttershy and Lyra singing together as Lyra played the chorus chords.
Feeling her rage return, Gilda rushed twords the pink haired girl almost getting a hand on her hair. Until the two massive strong arms from Big Mac ripped her from her target, and dragged the squirming and struggling girl off the stage. Lyra put an arm on Fluttershy’s scared shoulder as she got up to the microphone to sing her verse.

“Get your hands off the girl,
Can’t you see that she belongs to me!

She sings this line while glaring victoriously at the now ruined white haired women.

“And I don’t appreciate this,
Excess company!
Oh I know, I can’t satisfy, all the needs she has,
As so she has to wonder…
Can you blame her?

After the verse finishes, Fluttershy, with a blush and a new found confidence from Lyra, she sings the chorus with her.

Singing, Ohhhhhh oh, Ohhhhh Oh! Ohhhh OHHHHHHHH woooo...

The audience, finally putting two and two together, starts to cheer them on as they realize who has been the real singer the whole time.

As they sang, Fluttershy grabbed Lyra’s hand and interlined her fingers, with a huge blush still on her face as she started to enjoy her talent as a singer. With Gilda now gone, She didn’t have to feel afraid of every gig, but with Lyra, she could feel excited and comfterbal now that she had someone that loved her.

Twilight, watching from the side stage, was getting calls from every where; since the concert was being broadcasted live through out the world…a blessing and a curse at the same time. “Yes sir, I’ll be sure to book them for that concert in Manehatten, oh...can you hold for a sec? thank you.” she said before switching over to the other line on her blu-tooth head set.

“hel..” was all she got out before a loud and angry voice appeared on the line “TWILIGHT YOU AND YOUR FUCKING IDIOTS ARE FIRED! YOU HEAR ME! YOU THINK YOU CAN HAVE YOUR LITTLE BITCH FRIEND GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU KNOW WHO YOUR MESSING WITH! I WILL BURY YOU IDIO-” *click* went the phone as she ended the call “Must have been a wrong number.”

Just then, she got another call. “Hello? Twilight Sparkle speaking.” She answered. “Yes, I saw your girls pull off that move, gotta say, I knew Griffon never had that voice from the start.” The women on the line laughed. “So I’m guessing your employers have fired you? no?” She asked. “Y-yes, b-but how did you…” She asked a bit confused.

*AT A LARGE OFFICE BUILDING WITH A GIANT COOKIE ON TOP*

“How would you and your girls like an awesome and fair contract with Sugar Cube Records?” The women with cotton candy like hair said over the phone. She was currently in her pajamas in her office room bed, looking out at the night skyline.

Twilight was a little speechless at first, Sugar Cube Records was known for being the most popular record company in the business, they were also Griffon Records biggest enemy. “Y-Yes! YES, Mrs…” she said, not knowing the name of the person on the phone.

“Pinkie, Pinkamina Diana Pie. I’ll have Derpy draw up the papers and we’ll meet on Saturday, I cant wait to meet you all!” she said excitedly jumping up and down on the bed.

*BACK AT THE THEATER*

The back stage door in the alley way was kicked open, as Big Mac stepped out of it and tossed the drunken hag out.

“YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME! I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THIS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?” she yelled as she staggered up on the dirty ally way floor. Big Mac simply gave a shrug as he said “Yep!” and slammed the door on the dirty drunk.