equestrian labertories

by HanSolor2d2

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Science Fiction, Tragedy, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 4329

in a secret lab a few scientist discover a machine like no over. But with this tech there is a dark history....

Twilight Sparkle and Dr Kaiber Crystal entered the cave expecting disappointment but they found an abandoned facility filled with technology that Equestria had never seen.
In the heart of the facility was an old bloodthirsty artificial intelligence by the name of GLaDOS
(Genetic Life and Disk Operating System).

Portal and My Little Pony crossover with a couple of other references.

Set before season 4 but after season 3.
Cover art not mine. Link:
http://m.naurunappula.com/1261771/glados-pony.jpg?group_id=1106

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-20 22:51:11 UTC

Chapter 1 The map (Edited)

It was a beautiful day at the Golden Oaks Library. Twilight was busy organizing her books when two ponies walked in.

"Hey Dr Crystal! Dr Whooves," Twilight called. "What do you need?"

"Good morning, princess Twilight. My colleague and I are looking for anything to do with the Aperture mines," Dr Kaiber Crystal explained. Dr Crystal was a PhD holder for technological advances and history.

"Do you have anything about that, your Highness?" Dr Whooves asked. Dr Whooves was a PhD in Equestrian history and a very skilled archaeologist.

"I think I might," Twilight said, scouring the rows of books. "You don't have to call me by my title."

"Thanks, princess. I mean Twilight," Kaiber said, stroking his mane in embarrassment.

"Eureka!" Twilight exclaimed, pulling an old book off the top shelf with her magic. "If it's not in here, it won't be anywhere."

"Thank you, Twilight," Dr Whooves said, opening the contents page. He put on a pair of glasses he called “brainy specs” which he only put on to look smarter.

"Anything, doc?" Kaiber asked impatiently.

"Nothing from the contents page. But there is a page that looks interesting because it is a blue color instead of white," Doctor Whooves said, turning to that page.

"What is it, doctor?" Twilight asked, intrigued.

"Kaiber, we are on an expedition," Whooves said, overly excited. "I have found the map to the caves."

"Well, let's get ready! I'll find Daring," Kaiber said, turning to leave. "I'll meet you at the station."

"Will do," Whooves said as Kaiber flew out the door. "Princess Twilight, is it ok if we take this page?"

"Yes Doctor, but only if you take me with you," Twilight said, taking the page out with absolute care.

"I would be honored," Whooves said, bowing. "Maybe all the princesses could come."

"I will get Spike to send a letter to Canterlot," Twilight agreed. "I shall meet you at the station."

"Yes, your highness," Whooves said, leaving with the page.

Kaiber was walking through the forest that led to the author/explorer A.K Yearling's home. He knew her secret, and so did Whooves and the princesses. He found it strange that she had written a book on herself as fiction when it was technically an autobiography.

"Ah, Doctor Crystal. What brings you here?" A.K asked the professor.

"I have uncovered a map leading to the infamous Aperture caves," Kaiber said in the most serious tone he could muster. "I just wanted to know if Daring Do was interested in joining me."

"I'll shall see," A.K said, chuckling. "But she may need persuasion because she usually works alone."

"Tell her 25% of the worth of the artifacts,"  Kaiber said, using his epic negotiation skills.

"I think that will suffice. She'll meet you in Ponyville later," A.K said, walking towards a different room.

"See you, Miss Yearling," Kaiber said, leaving.

Princess Luna was heading to Celestia's private bedroom. She had received word that all princesses were to meet there. All Luna knew was that Twilight had sent a letter to her which had arranged all this. She turned the final corner in the maze of a castle to see Cadence standing outside Celesta's private quarters.

"Ah, Princess Luna. I see you were also summoned by my sister in law," Cadence said, seeing the princess of the night enter the corridor.

"Yes, I hath been summoned," Luna said in a Shakespearean tone. "Dost thou know why?"

"First of all, you can cut that out," Cadence scowled. She knew that Luna had adapted to the modern way of speaking. "And to answer your question, no, I do not know what Twilight has called us for.”

"Let us see, then," Luna said, knocking on the door.

The two mares waited for an answer. It came in the form of Celestia.

"Ah, Cadence, Lulu. I see you received an invitation as well," Celestia said, opening the door.

"Hello, Tia. Do you know what we have been summoned for?" Luna asked her older sister.

"No, Lulu, I don't. But it must be a matter of great importance," Celestia replied.

"Is Twilight here yet, aunt Celestia?" Cadence asked politely.

"Yes, come in," Celestia said, entering the room. "She's been expecting you."

The moment Twilight and Cadence locked eyes, both mares sang their signature rhyme.

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!" They both sang in unison, doing the actions, which made the older alicorns laugh.

"So, young Twilight, why have we been gathered here today?" Luna asked.

"Well, princess Luna, it all started this morning when Doctor Whooves and Crystal entered my library," Twilight recalled. "They found a map from Faust's era about something called the Aperture caves."

"Twilight, what are the Aperture caves?" Cadence asked.

"According to doctor Crystal, it was a lab of some sort," Twilight explained. "Doctor Whooves offered to bring us along with him."

"Hmm…interesting," Celestia said. "An old lab from my mother's rule. I would love to explore it."

"Twilight, I'm in," Cadence agreed.

"I shall join thee on thy quest," Luna said, getting a cold stare from the other princesses.

"It's settled, then. Gather the necessary equipment and meet at Ponyville station," Twilight said. "And Celestia, no cake."

"Oh, fine," Celestia sighed while the others laughed like they never had before. Twilight smiled and flew towards Ponyville. Cadence teleported out of the room and landed in the Crystal Empire, leaving Luna and Celestia alone.

"Lulu, shouldn't you be packing?" Celestia said, teleporting a large suitcase upon her bed.

"Oh Tia, I am smarter than you think," Luna laughed. "So I'm taking your cake stash away."

"NOOOOOOO! DON'T YOU DARE!" Celestia shouted in the royal Canterlot voice.

"I already have," Luna said cheekily. "I did it this morning to stop this addiction of yours."

"But why?" Celestia asked.

"Because you're going to get fat if you carry on," Luna countered.

"Oh, alright," Celestia sighed. "But you will have to give up something in return."

"My cider addiction, perhaps," Luna said.

"Or your video games," Celestia said. Seeing the pain in Luna's eyes, she added "But the cider will do."

"Deal. Now get packing, Tia," Luna said, walking away.

"I shall, sis," Celestia said, still upset about her cake.

Cadence’s teleport landed her in her room.

"Ahh, perfect. I usually land in Shining's room," she said to herself. She telekinetically placed a suitcase upon her bed and opened it.

"Hey Cadey, why are you packing?" A voice asked from behind her.

In shock, she turned around with immense speed.

"Shining Armour, you scared the life out of me!" Cadence scowled at her husband, who was laughing hysterically. "To answer your question, I am going on some business with the other princesses."

"Even Twily?" Shining asked.

"Yes, Shining," Cadence said. "She was the one who arranged it."

"Oh, alright. But what is this business?" Shining asked.

"An expedition with doctor Kaiber and doctor Whooves," Cadence replied. "To find and explore the Aperture caves, forgotten since the time of Queen Faust."

"I see. Well, have fun," Shining said, leaving the room.

"Shining, I love you," Cadence said as he was at the door.

"I know," he said, exiting the room.

chapter 3 The hunt for the caves and backstories

*Archaeologist car*

"They really outdid themselves for our accommodation," Kaiber said astounded by the carriage "They even got all the equipment."

"Yes indie i agree," Daring agreed "What about you Doctor?"

"It is just like i'm in my basement lab but mobile." The Doctor said.

"Precisely?" Daring Asked.

"Well almost there isn't a coffee machine." The Doctor said laughing.

"Ok then I think we should check the map to help us determine the exact longitude and latitude of the cave entrance." Kaiber said unraveling the parchment that is the map.

"I concur with Indiana it will speed up the search." Daring said studying the map.

After studying the map over and over again the only thing they found was old railway markings and five different cave entrances.

"So we have an one in five chance of finding the right cave first try," The Doctor said circling in red the spots the entrances where located "And looking at the satellite images i took of the mountains the track is still usable."

"We better tell the driver when we stop." Kaiber said.

"Well it is getting late i'm heading for my cabin I suggest you boys head to yours." Daring said heading to her cabin.

Kaiber and Whooves just nodded each other and headed into their respective rooms.

*earlier that day in the royal carriage*

"Luna will stop playing super mareio on your bucking 3DS and talk with your fellow royals." Celestia said to her younger sister leaning against her door.

"Why should I your not my mother." Luna replied coldly.

"I was told by her to look after you," Celestia said sniffling "It was her final wish."

"I'm sorry sis I didn't mean to bring back bad memories." Luna said embracing her sister "Tia she was a great leader it was Sombra's that left her critically wounded beyond medical help."

"That maybe true but it was my relationship with him that started that war Lulu." Celestia sobbed.

"Tia the war started because he jealous of you," Luna comforted "And because of this jealousy he attempted to make you abdicate from your rightful place as heir to the throne."

"I almost fell for it as well that jackass wanted me to himself like i was a possession." Celestia said sobbing into her coat.

"That was why mother stepped in," Luna said stroking her sisters back "She risked her life for her daughters freedom."

"She didn't have to," Celestia sobbed angrily "I was leaving him."

"She knew that he would never leave you alone," Luna replied "He would've foalnapped you or killed you so mother fought him ending the empires existence until earlier this year that is but cadence and twilight had it covered."

"I know I know but she didn't have to die in the process she could've killed that asshole," Celestia said starting to get angry "NOPONY HAD TO DIE."

"Everypony dies at some point in history Tia," Luna countered showing no sign of fear to Celestia's outburst "I know the last Millennium and half has been tough times for both of us but we have to move on from the past."

"THAT IS EASY FOR YOU SIS YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO RULE A COUNTRY FOR A THOUSAND YEARS,"Celestia shouted "MOTHER TOLD ME TO LOOK AFTER YOU BUT I FAILED ALRIGHT."

Luna was shocked at this but kept her composure "You haven't failed Tia."

"YES I DID," Celestia sobbed loudly "THE MOMENT I SENT YOU TO THE MOON WAS THE MOMENT I REALIZED MY FAILURE WAS COMPLETE FIRST I NEGLECTED YOU THEN I SEND YOU FAR AWAY AS A PUNISHMENT FOR SOMETHING I CAUSED."

"Tia nothing that happened that evening was your fault," Luna comforted with Celestia giving a confused look "You tried your best to save me from my jealousy but I ignored it and you did the choice any great leader would've done protect their people, mother would've been proud."

This was the break point. Celestia just hugged her sister and started to cry. Luna hugged back just like their mother used to when she was upset.

"Awwwwww little Woona and Tia," Cadence said looking through the door "They are so cute."

Luna and Celestia jumped up in shock. They then noticed the camera in cadence's hoof.

"PRINCESS MI AMORE CADENZA GIVE US THAT CAMERA!" both mares shouted in unison.

Cadence laughed and ran towards her room jumping through the door and locking it. "This has been all for now," She said sitting at a desk and facing the camera at herself "This prankster princess and thanks for watching."

"CADENCE OPEN THIS DOOR NOW," Celestia shouted "DON'T MAKE ME GET TWILIGHT!"

Cadence wasn't listening she was uploading the video to YouTube.

"Just give me a minute aunt Celestia." She called as the upload was almost finished.

"Cadence this is Twilight open the door now otherwise I'll tell shinning your secret." Twilight black mailed.

"You wouldn't dare." Cadence gasped as the upload finished.

"Try me," Twilight said "It would be a shame that my Bbbff finds out that you where pregnant with his child and you never told him."

Cadence unlocked the door and exited the room.

"WHERE IS THE CAMERA?" Luna asked loudly.

Cadence handed the Camera with a grunt.

"Thank you Cadence." Celestia said calming down.

"You didn't give me time to edit it and put on YouTube." Cadence said in an annoyed tone.

"Well you shouldn't of filmed them you should know better." Twilight said ending the debate before it got out  of hand.

"Yeah yeah but that would've of got my views skyrocketing." Cadence countered.

"So?" Twilight asked in a rhetorically stern way.

"You are no fun." Cadence said slamming her door in their faces like a stroppy teen.

"Thank you Twilight." Celestia said.

"No problem Celestia," Twilight replied "Now can I go back to my magic smash bros tornement."

"Tarterous yeah," Luna said "May I join you?"

"Sure." Twilight replied smiling.

"I'll guess I shall watch." Celestia sighed as she followed the other princesses.

*198 duels later.*

"this game shall determine the winner." Twilight said bowing to her opponent.

"May it be an honorable fight." Luna replied bowing back.

Twilight was playing as Mareio. Luna on the other hoof was playing as dragemon trainer. Both players picked up their respective controllers and waited for the countdown. The room was so silent Celestia was expecting a tumbleweed to pass by but it didn't.

3....2.......1........Fight.

The second the word fight popped up on the screen the duel was on. Both of the mares are evenly matched. Both losing a lot of health. The tables turned when twilight got a magic smash blasting luna out of the ring.

Round 2....fight

In this round Luna had the user hand. She was playing a very defensive strategy. So when twilight attacked her she made her dragemon jump and twilight fell of the edge leaving Luna victorious in the second round.

ROUND 3.....MATCH POINT..... Fight.

Both mares determined to win button mashed like no tomorrow. Luna was getting tired and twilight's eye's where hurting by this time Celestia had gone to bed and Cadence was asleep by the 50th. Match. When it seemed to be no end in sight sudden death came when this happens the first hit wins. Twilight had got the first hit.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO THOU HATH BEEN BEATEN BY A MINER I SHALL HATH THY REVENGE." Luna stated via the royal Canterlot voice.

"Maybe next time noob good night." Twilight said entering her chamber.

Luna just shrugged her shoulders in defeat and went to bed.

*the next morning in the buffet car*

The train arrived into the station at a gradual pace at the first hour of the morning. Everyone was sat in the buffet car which is located between the private carriages.

"My fellow travelers," Kaiber said "Last night me and my colleagues discovered possible locations for the caves and a rail way network which still exists today that takes us to them."

"Then why are sitting here," Twilight said excitedly "I'll tell the driver." She then got up and rushed towards the locomotive at the front.

"Doctor go with her and take the map," Celestia said to the stallion to her right "So you can show him the way."

"Yes your highness." The Doctor said casually following the younger Alicorn.

"So Miss do why have you come along to this trip?" Luna asked.

""I'm guessing you haven't read my books princess," Daring said laughing slightly "Don't worry my main job is exploring and archeology so when I heard about caves from before the great faust that are undiscovered I had to come."

"So why do write stories?" Cadence asked politely.

"Pony's like action stories so I wrote about my life," Daring replied "Since then I became a bestselling author I wrote all the adventures I have."

"You said you do archaeology," Celestia recalled "What happens to the artifacts you find?"

"Indiana can answer this one." Daring said punching the stallion on the shoulder.

"She hands them to me so I can research them," Kaiber explained "If they are very rare or key elements of pure equestrian history I donate them to the royal Canterlot museum but the others go to the university or sold to collectors."

"So that is where you got the journal of Faust." Celestia said remembering the Journal that Kaiber had given to her 13 years ago.

"Actually no that was my own find," Kaiber laughed "Some of you maybe wondering why I am going by the name Indiana."

"Yes I was." Luna and Cadence said in unison.

"Well listen very carefully I shall say this only once," Kaiber said as the three princesses "It all started when I was a teen I saw tomb raiders attempt to rob the tomb of starswirl the bearded. I shouted out to stop them they had the most priceless possible in that tomb. His cross that he had embedded his magic into."

"What did you do?" Cadence asked intrigued.

"I took is and they gave chase," Kaiber said "I ran and saw a circus train heading my way and jumped aboard. I climbed aboard the roof pursued by the bandits. Then my luck ran out I fell into a lion cage."

"What happened Next?" Luna asked.

"I used the whip they circus master uses to tame the lion and climbed out. But when I got out they where waiting," Kaiber said "I punched one and bolted. To get to the next carriage I had to climb through a snake pit. I hate snakes. My luck must have been bad because the beam I attempted to crawl across broke. To get out I bolted for the door."

"And then?" celestia asked.

"I was at the moment last carriage. I was trapped. I then saw a box so I jumped in. They came into the room. Inside the box was a trap door. I used it and fell under the train. As they opened it I was running the other way."

"where did you go afterwards?" Cadence asked.

"To my home," Kaiber replied sad "My father was sat in his chair writing in his journal which was never allowed to touch."

*Flashback with Kaiber narrating*

"Dad I have found starswirl's tomb," I said "And I stopped a group of bandits trying to rob it and found this cross."

"Not now junior go and play somewhere else." my father said in a harsh tone.

"But Dad I have found something that belongs in a museum," I pleaded "Please just look at it."

"NOT NOW JUNIOR!" my father shouted.

"Do not call me junior," Kaiber said "For once just listen to your son."

"JUNIOR..." Kaiber's father started but then heard a bugle.

"The sheriff." Kaiber said.

He was correct at that moment the sheriff walked through the doors followed by the bandits.

"Mr Crystal I need to speak with your son." Sheriff Stetson said sternly.

"That is fine officer." My father said.

"Kaiber follow me please." Stetson said walking to the decking of the ranch I called home.

"Sheriff these men stole a cross from a tomb," I said "So I took it back."

"Do you still have it?" Stetson asked.

"Yes," I said pulling out the cross "Here you go sir."

"Thanks son," Stetson said taking the cross "The owner of this said he wouldn't press charges if he got it back."

I was flabbergasted by this but I then saw a stallion in a white suit standing with the deputy. He had failed. The sheriff handed the cross to one of the bandits who ran to the suited stallion handing. The group started to leave but one put a hoof on my shoulder.

He said something I'll never forget.

"You lost today kid,"" He said taking off his fedora "But it doesn't mean you have to like it."

He placed his hat upon my head and I still have it today.

*Modern day*

"So what did he mean by that?" All three princesses asked.

"I think it means 'you may have lost but you should be proud of how well you did to evade us' but twenty-six years later I got the cross back and now it is on display." Kaiber said.

"That was a fascinating tale," Luna said "But how did you become in the possession in my mother's journal."

"Wait Indiana found the journal of Faust," Twilight said re-entering the carriage "When did this happen?"

"During the parasite infestation I was exploring the the castle of the pony sisters," Kaiber started "I was using my Indiana cover. Inside I found a hidden labyrinth under the castle. I followed the passage and found this study of sorts. Then I saw it the only thing in the room that aged well. The journal. I picked it up and ran out of there incase of booby traps."

"wait hold up a second," Luna said in shock "You found mother's study. In all the years me and celestia lived in that palace nether of us found it."

"That is quite easy to explain Luna," the Doctor said appearing behind the group "It's a thing I call dilapidation. Dilapidation is the state or process of falling into decay or being in Disrepair. This happens over a period of time say a thousand years ago that ruin would've been a beautiful structure. About 100 years later celestia moved into the newly made Canterlot castle. Another 100 years pass and the old palace starts to get taken over by nature. Over the next 800 years the castle crumbles reavilng passages and walkways. So when Indiana was looking through he could have easily found that passage."

"Couldn't of said it better myself," A voice came from nowhere but somehow everywhere "Did you really think you could have an adventure without me. Shame on you Celestia."

"Discord show your self." Celestia said spinning to try and pinpoint the draconequus location.

"Oh Celestia," Discord said appearing behind her "You have to take the fun out of everything."

"Discord why are you here?" Luna asked sincerely.

"Oh little Woona I haven't seen you since you first turned me stone," Discord replied "Sorry I haven't caught up with in recent years."

"That didn't answer her question." Cadence scowled.

"You must be Cadence," Discord said "You're more strict than fluttershy says."

"Discord just answer the question," Celestia sighed losing her patience "Why are you here?"

"Alright Tia i'm here to join your team to find these caves." Discord explained.

"Why," Twilight asked surprised "What do you gain from it?"

"A sense of thrill and adventure," Discord chuckled "It'll be nice to return to Aperture after the incident."

"Wait you've been there?" The whole carriage asked in unison.

"Of course it was my job and reason I am crazy," Discord said "Except for my mental disabilities."

"What happened?" Kaiber asked stroking his chin.

"It's a long story." Discord said.

"I for one would love to hear it," The Doctor said getting an approving nod from the group "I think my colleagues and the princesses agree.

"Alright gaver round," Discord said "this is the tragedy of aperture laboratories."[spoiler][/spoiler]

Chapter 2 the station

*Ponyville train station*

Kaiber, whooves, Daring and Twilight was standing upon the platform waiting for the other princesses.

"What's taking them so long." Twilight said in boredom.

"You did tell them the meeting time right?" Kaiber Asked raising an eyebrow.

"Uh kinda," Twilight said in an embarrassed tone "I said meet in the afternoon."

"Well it is only 2:00 pm so we have another four hours left of the afternoon." Whooves said in an optimistic tone.

*About half an hour later*

A train came into view heading from Canterlot. Twilight could see the sun and moon emblem engraved upon the engine.

"That is Celestia and Luna." Twilight Stated.

She was correct as the train stopped and the two co-rulers stepped out of their private carriage. The group bowed to their rulers.

"Ah there is no need for formality on this expedition," Celestia said calmly as the group raised to face the royals "Especially you Twilight."

"Yes your highness," Kaiber said "I would like it if you could call me by my false name Indiana Crystal."

"Ok Indie," Luna giggled "The same for you I'm guessing doctor whooves."

"Well kinda," Whooves said straightening his tie "Just the Doctor is fine."

"Ok Doctor." A voice came from behind the group.

"Ah Princess cadence." Kaiber said.

"Just Cadence is fine Indiana." Cadence giggled.

"Ok greetings over I'm guessing the extra carriage is for the archaeologists and the princesses go in the other." Twilight said sounding impatient.

"Correctomundo," The Doctor said "That is something I've never said and shall never say again."

"Ok then," Luna said "So where are these caves Doctor."

"Near the crystal empire," the Doctor "Inside of the mountains which would make it a pain to find."

"So let us head to the crystal empire," Celestia said "All aboard Royal rail."

"That was a terrible joke Tia." Luna said shaking her hair whilst facehoofing.

"Oh alright Little Lulu." Celestia said messing up Luna's mane.

"STOP EMBARRASSING EACH OTHER AND GET ON THE TRAIN FOR FAUST SAKE." Cadence shouted using her royal Canterlot voice.

"Fine." Celestia and Luna said in the style of a stroppy teenager.

"Thank you." Cadence said calming down and boarding the train. She was then followed by her aunts and Twilight.

"Well to our carriage then." Kaiber said flabbergasted by the Princesses behavior.

"Yes Indiana i think we shall." Daring said boarding the train followed by the doctor.

As Kaiber climbed aboard he topped the hat to the driver. The driver saw his signal and they set of on their expedition.