The Ballad of Discord

by KidatHeart5

Rating: everyone
Tags: Cutie Mark Crusaders, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 3153

Based on "The Ballad of Nessie", a Disney short film. Discord searches for a new swimming area after the local watering hole is replaced by a golf course. During his search, he learns a lesson in dealing with his emotions.

Ever seen “The Ballad of Nessie”? This is my spoof of it! When the Flim Flam Brothers buy the swimming hole and build their own golf course on it, Discord sets out to find a new place for ponies to have watery fun. Along the way, he learns a valuable lesson about dealing with his emotions.

Published 2015-08-13 21:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-21 20:52:33 UTC

A Nice Swim

On the rugged plains where many ponies would play, there was a lake called Lake Q. But it wasn’t always this way. Before the strange lake had ever been seen, a draconequus named Discord was once mean. He was called a monster until he had found bliss. Now he was really a softy, having been shown kindness. And with some new friends that he had, the kind loyal and true, Discord knew that friendship wouldn’t make him blue.

This was Discord’s first time at the local swimming hole. Ever since he had been asked by the Cutie Mark Crusaders to join them, he had been practicing diving, aqua acrobatics, and the average show-stopper complete with spraying water and bright lights. True, the girls only asked him about a few days ago, but he still wanted to show off his spectacular moves and have fun with the CMC at the same time. When the day arrived, he got his aquatic essentials and headed out. Discord also brought a special companion along so the latter wouldn’t feel left out.

Discord got to the top of the hill and saw several ponies playing either near the water, in the water, or lying on the shore. He held out his fishbowl so that his clownfish, Quincy, would get a look. The draconequus smiled, “Look, Q! We’re going to have so much fun swimming and making new friends. It’s also your chance to stretch those fins. Being cooped up in stone wasn’t very fun, was it?” When Q shook his head, Discord muttered, “Believe me, I know how you feel.”

Just then, he heard a familiar shouting.

“Discord!”

“Over here!”

“Come on! The water’s not so bad!”

His heart beamed with joy when he heard three of his favorite girls, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Though Fluttershy was his closest friend, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were fun to be around…if not annoying or distant sometimes. They acted like they didn’t even know Discord from time to time often because of who they were around with. If it was Fluttershy, it was okay to hang around him, but if they were with a crowd of ponies – mainly their sisters - the CMC acted aloof towards the Lord of Chaos. Fortunately, though, since just about every pony changed their tune about Discord since the opening night of The Singing Stallion, the girls could openly express their warmth to him. This made him one happy lord of chaos.

At that moment, a high diving board shot up from the sand. Everypony looked up and saw Discord ready to dive into the water. All of the patrons braced themselves as the spirit cried, “COWABUNGA!!!” He made a tremendous splash that wet all the ponies except the ones who had covered themselves. When Discord emerged, he said, “Ta-da! And that’s how you make a grand entrance.”

When he looked around, he saw the reaction he had come to expect: ponies murmuring and scowling at him. However, there was another reaction that he had hoped for all along: several ponies giggling and smiling at his stunt. Among those ponies were the Cutie Mark Crusaders. After Sweetie Belle emerged and gasped for air, Scootaloo also rose from the water and exclaimed, “Whoa-ho! That was awesome, Discord!” Apple Bloom swam up to him and smiled, “Yeah, no one makes a high dive like you!”

Discord blushed as he chuckled, “Oh, that was nothing. Wait till you see Quincy.” The girls asked in confusion, “’Quincy’?” When Discord snapped his claw, Q’s fishbowl was on a spring. With a sproing, the spring popped up like a jack-in-the-box. The bowl was still attached to the spring, but Q went flying before he dived into the swimming hole.

When the fish splashed its tail as a sign that it was okay, Discord held up a small card with the number 10 on it. He commended his fish, “Excellent dive, Q! You did even better than I did.” The CMC paddled carefully but excitedly towards the clownfish and were awed by it.

Scootaloo asked, “Who’s this little guy?”

Sweetie cooed, “He’s so cute!”

Apple Bloom asked, “Is he your pet?”

Discord smiled, “Why, yes, he is. His name is Quincy, but I like to call him ‘Q’. I’ve actually had him for a long time. He and I were recently reunited after that show-stopping performance of The Singing Stallion.”

The fish nudged him and his owner said, “What’s that, Q? You want to play ‘Hide-and-Surprise’ with the girls?” He smiled and continued in a playful tone, “All right, but you’re asking for it.” The CMC asked, “’Hide-and-Surprise’?” Discord smirked as he answered, “Oh, it’s a game that usually goes like this…” He then dove underwater quickly. The girls could barely register where he could’ve gone until…

“YAAAGGHH!!!” the girls cried.

They jumped up in the water as soon as they felt their tails being pulled. While they were recovering, Discord emerged onto the surface and laughed, “And that’s how you play ‘Hide-and-Surprise’.” Though the girls still had shock written all over their faces, it wasn’t long until Scootaloo gave a wicked smirk and then dived underwater. Discord looked all around and asked, “Huh? Now where did Scootaloo go?”

Suddenly, he felt his midsection getting squeezed and a voice cried, “Gotcha!” He turned to see Scoots wrapping her arms around his stomach and he chuckled, “That’s very good, Scootaloooooo!!” While he was saying her name, he felt his tail getting pulled down. He fell back into the water and when he regained his focus, he asked playfully, “Hey, who did that?” He lifted his tail out of the water and found Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle clutching onto it and laughing. He retorted teasingly, “That was a naughty thing you did…and a great move! I’m so proud of you, girls!”

They continued playing ‘Hide-and-Surprise” all day long until the sun went down. Discord and the CMC agreed to play at the swimming hole for as often as they could. He loved the girls for their outgoing and fun nature. He was sure Quincy loved them, too, and made sure to take him on his swim dates with the girls. They even invited the Mane Six to come join them and they all had fun in the sun. Through all of this, Discord never once thought that something terrible might just ruin their fun.

A Journey

It was a gloomy, gray day, at a quarter past two…from some distant land came a familiar crew. Two silhouettes emerged, matching one another. These two were none other than the Flim Flam Brothers!

“Flim and Flam?” Apple Bloom gasped as she stood in the pool. Scootaloo scowled, “What are those two doing here?” Discord held up a paw and said, “Don’t you fret, girls. I’ll handle this.” He waded out of the swimming hole and popped into attire that was similar to the brothers’. He cleared his throat, “I say, gentlecolts, for what business have you come to this quaint little spot?”

Flim answered, “We’re glad you asked, good sir.” Flam held out some blueprints and said, “Why don’t you see for yourself?” Discord held the blueprints in his hands and squinted his eyes as he tried to make out the weird squiggles and doodles. Discord scratched his head as he confessed, “I can’t see what this has to do with the swimming hole…or even what it’s supposed to be.”

Flim said, “Why, it’s going to be our new golf course!”

Flam said, “Ponies will travel for miles to experience our one-of-a-kind Super-Deluxe Golfing Delight Extreme!”

“This place is perfection! It’s just what we need.”

“With a few slight corrections, it’ll be heaven, indeed.”

The CMC and the other ponies at the swimming hole began to protest at this.

Apple Bloom argued, “Ya can’t take away our watering hole!”

Scootaloo agreed, “Yeah! It’s where we swim!”

Sweetie Belle retorted, “Where we are we supposed to go if it’s gone?!”

Discord calmed down the angry crowd and said, “All right, all right. Settle down, now.” He then turned to the Flim Flam Brothers and snarled at them, “Nopony’s going to take away this spot away for as long as I’m standing here.” The brothers didn’t feel the least bit threatened and instead whistled for a row of bulldozers to appear. The crowd gasped and Discord corrected in an uneasy voice, “Unless you have the equipment necessary to mow down this place.” The brothers also took out a piece of paper and Flam smirked, “And we have the documented approval of the Mighty Minotaur Construction Company.” Discord’s ears drooped as he muttered, “Oh.”

Flim said, “We’ll give you five minutes to skedaddle.” Flam said, “So hop along!” Everypony rushed to gather their belongings and get to a safe distance from the bulldozers. Discord stopped and gasped, “Quincy!” He summoned a fish net and used it to grab Quincy out of the water. He put his fish back in the fishbowl and asked out of concern, “Are you all right, Q?” They then joined the others about half a mile away from the swimming hole.

In what seemed like a flash, the watering hole was instantly replaced by a grandiose golf course. Discord and the ponies were only mere inches away from the golden gates.

Their small protests fell on naught but deaf ears. Discord’s anger burned bright. The girls’ eyes welled with tears. An old colt scolded and told them, “Keep a stiff upper lip. Do not cry. Be brave at heart. Chin up, now. Pip pip.”

The girls then sighed heavily, “What are we going to do now? It’s not like there’s anywhere else to swim.” Discord took pity on them and then, an idea hit him.

Discord gritted his teeth and decided to see if there were more lakes with the help of his fish, Quincy.

“WAAAAA!!! It’s so sad to see you go! Where else can we get chocolate rain?!”

“Take heart, dear Pinkie,” Discord assured her. “I’ll be back with a new swimming hole for you all. Now, chin up. Pip pip.” Discord felt that he was going to enjoy that line every time he used it.

“Will you be gone long?” Sweetie Belle looked up at him with big eyes. Seeing her green eyes flicker like that almost broke Discord’s heart. However, he mentally told himself to chin up, pip pip before he told Sweetie, “Don’t worry, my Sweets. By the time I return to Ponyville, you will be swimming and dipping in a new pool.” She hugged as she said, “Thank you for doing this for us.” Discord returned the embrace and said, “You’re very welcome.”

He took his bag and his fish before heading off to the horizon. He waved good-bye to the folks of Ponyville and it was returned by warm farewells. He was genuinely touched by this and almost broke down again. Once more, he thought to himself, Chin up, now. Pip pip. You’re not going to find a new place to swim with tears in your eyes. Buck up!

He set off to search for a new pond they could surf. A place with no golf clubs and no Astroturf. But every pond was empty, every pool was dry. Every trough was spoke for, yet still he had to try. He traveled each road and sought out every route. But instead of finding fun, Discord got the boot.

He found a cave at one point and discovered a small puddle. He thought, It may not seem like much, but I shall remedy that. When he spread his hands out, the puddle expanded into a pool. Then, he saw a chilling reflection of sinister eyes staring down. In an instant, he raced out of the cave with Quincy as he told his fish, “Okay, not one of my best ideaaaaas!” While he was saying that, he accidentally rolled on a log and fell into a mud pit.

He grimaced as he wiped the mud off his face, “Yuck! Disgusting! Well, I guess we’ll have to keep trying, Q…” He looked around to see that his fish wasn’t there. He searched the mud and called out, “Q? Q, where are you? Q?!”

Fortunately, a mud bubble floated up and it popped to reveal Quincy in his water orb. Discord caught the orb as it descended and fussed, “Oh, Q, you got your travel sphere dirty.” Looking at his pet fish, Discord thought of how lucky Q was for even having a place to swim. For a moment, he thought of converting Q’s swimming bowls into pools for the ponies. But then again, where else would Q swim? Discord was torn between letting the ponies go without swimming or his fish.

Q meant too much to him…as did his friends. If he was willing to work with other ponies for a musical to get Q back, then he would surely venture far to find a swimming place for his friends. He couldn’t let them down. He already did that several times. Would he dare to go back empty-handed if he was unsuccessful in his search? Tears brimmed his eyes as he thought of such a possibility.

And the reward for his efforts, it was always this quip…

Just as Discord was on the brink of crying, a hermit pony came up to him and smacked him. The old stallion scolded, “Only little foals cry. Chin up, now. Pip pip…” Discord turned away from the pony as the latter coughed and snorted. Now what was Discord supposed to do? There was nothing else to do but keep looking and hope that he’d find somewhere promising.

After all, he couldn’t let his friends down.

A New Lake

Discord searched day after day, but with no luck. He eventually came to a semi-dry plain, which to him seemed to be befitting of his mood.

Discord finally pooped out. He’d reached the end of his rope. Where do you go when there is no more hope?

He took out Quincy’s water sphere and tapped lightly on it. Q was barely hanging in there because he had been cooped up for so long. Discord pitied the poor fish and wished that he could do something to help him. After all, he felt the same thing when he was trapped in stone.

He stifled a whimper and a lump in his throat. “Chin up, now. Pip pip,” he recited by rote.

This seemed to cheer Discord up a bit…before he saw his own reflection on the surface of the orb. At that moment, it reminded him of all the times he and the CMC played ‘Hide-and-Surprise”. Sure, they would find other games to play on land or air, but he felt that swimming was one of his most favorite things to do. He wanted to have the chance to do that again, but how could he if he didn’t find a new place for the girls to swim? When he thought of the looks on their faces if he failed, that did it for him.

His heart split in two and an aching sensation overwhelmed him. This time, he couldn’t hold it back. He tried to think of the quip used to control his emotions, but all he thought was, Chin up, indeed. He sniffled and whimpered as tears flooded his eyes. He was so caught up in his sorrow that a huge tear left his eye and plopped onto Q’s water orb.

What began as a trickle soon turned to a shower. Discord cried and he cried, he cried by the hour. He cried cups and pitchers and bottles and buckets. He cried tubs and barrels, quintets and quintuplets. For hours, Discord cried, no, for days on it went. Till one day, he sniffed…his tears finally spent.

Discord was exhausted from all the endless crying he had done. He was so weary and depressed that he didn’t see Q swim up to him. Q wagged his tail on his owner’s face to attract his attention. Discord looked up from the ground and saw Q in front of him. He asked, “Q, what are you doing out of your…orb?”

He trailed off as he realized that Q was actually swimming. He looked up to see water on either side of his fish. He jumped up and excitedly raced up a huge rock formation to get a better view.

It was a lake! A great lake! Discord gasped in delight! Sure ‘twas paradise with no golf tee in sight!

Discord cried, “I found a lake! No, wait…I made a lake! I take that back…I cried a lake!” He was so excited that he jumped down into the water below. He swam up to his fish as he exclaimed, “Q, we did it! We made a new swimming hole!”

He flashed himself back to Ponyville and announced, “Ponies, I’ve found the perfect swimming pool for you!”

Twilight awkwardly said, “You did? Well, that’s great…except…”

Sweetie Belle uneasily said, “We kind of got our old swimming pool back.”

Discord was surprised and almost dismayed to hear that. He asked, “You did? How?”

Applejack explained, “Well, see, a while after ya left, we found out that the golf course was rigged. We called the Flim Flam Brothers out and they skedaddled out of town like there’s no tomorrow.”

Discord wilted, “So I went on my search…” His eyes then glistened as he continued, “…for nothing?”

Scootaloo said, “No, no! I’m glad you found a swimming pool for us. Could we see what’s it like?”

A smile spread across Discord’s face and he said, “I thought you’d never ask.” He grabbed the ponies and said, “Let’s go!”

In one moment, they appeared before a vast lake. But this time, it was different. There was now strange vegetation growing around the lake. Even Discord himself was astonished.

Scootaloo exclaimed, “Holy cow! This place is awesome!”

The other girls agreed, “Yeah!” They then ran into the water.

Twilight asked, “But how did you find a place like this?”

Discord smirked, “Where do you think?” He pointed to his eyes and said, “I cried the lake.”

The alicorn asked in astonishment, “You cried this place?”

“Well, if I didn’t tell myself not to cry, then the lake wouldn’t have been this huge when I did burst into tears.”

Apple Bloom suggested, “We should come here every day!”

Applejack said, “Ah, ah. I think every other Saturday will do.”

Discord admonished the Earth pony, “Oh, you’re no fun, Appleshack.” He then flashed in swimwear and shouted, “Cannonball!” He jumped into the lake and had fun with the CMC.

Discord learned himself a lesson on that bright and happy day. And it bears worth repeating, no matter what folks may say. Do not be afraid to cry, it really is OK. Sometimes it’s through our tears we find a better way.