Twilight's Secret Visitor
Only the sound of books moving through the air and being put into shelves could be heard in the library. Twilight worked diligently, putting books into the shelves at record speed. The library was empty without Spike in it, he was busy helping Rarity with some new dress, hoping that his gawking and loving comments would win over her heart. However, being her pin cushion was all he got.
Once all of the books had been placed in their correct spots, Twilight found that there wasn't much else to do within a library than read. She levitated a book down from one of the neatly organized shelves, opening it and scanning the pages. She absorbed information like a sponge.
There was a knock at the door. A subtle rapping noise from the wooden door that just barely entered Twilight's ears. She looked over at the door, suspecting that it was Spike. Leaving her book in its spot, she trotted to the door and opened it, expecting to see her dragon assistant standing below her.
Too bad for her it was actually Chewbacca.
Chewbacca entered the room without being asked to enter, displaying true badassery. Twilight took shaky steps backward, too scared to scream out for help. Chewbacca lunged forward, grabbing hold of Twilight Sparkle. He sunk his claws into Twilight, but for some reason she liked it.
Twilight screamed out in delight, and all of her neighbors came to see what was wrong but Chewbacca ate them while he continued to pet Twilight's luscious mane. All of a sudden, Twilight said,"Let's take this outside."
So Chewbacca pivoted swiftly, and whacked Twilight with his bitch slapping hand. Chewbacca used his Chewbacca powers to shoot rocket flames out of his feet, blasting off into the sky, both of his hands turning into lobsters.
Using his lobster hands, he grabbed Twilight out of the air and held on to her tightly. They flew through the air rapidly, going around 750mph now. The wind tore by them, tears being forced out of Chewbacca's eyes. With a final surge of energy, Chewbacca flipped on his biceps. With Twilight still in hand, he activated the almighty bicep cannon and fired her off in a steroid induced explosion of pure muscle.
Twilight went flying into the sky, this time with double the speed of the first flight. She watched as Chwebacca landed in a river far away, dying on impact. Twilight kept on going until she hit outer space, where she floated gently.
Suddenly the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles jumped off of the moon, flying through space and coming for Twilight. The turtles brandished their weapons, the shiny metal reflecting the light of the sun. Twilight prepared herself for impact.
As the turtles approached, Twilight turned her mane into a rail gun. Loading a highly explosive shell into her mane, she prepared to fire. With a burst of flames, the shell exploded out of the gun and towards the turtles.
Luckily Michelangelo tossed a pizza box at the shell, knocking it into the depths of space. Unluckily for space, the shell hit planet earth, which exploded instantly. Thousands of screams were heard throughout space as earth exploded, but Twilight just laughed maniacally.
Suddenly, the ninja turtles evolved into a venusaur, morphing together to form the Pokemon. Venausaur used solar beam, using his epic beast powers to move the sun through space, incinerating a couple planets along the way. Then, he launched the sun in his massive solar beam attack. Twilight could only watch in horror as the sun blasted towards her.
Out of nowhere, Chewbacca came back from the dead and used his lobster hands to block the sun, destroying it and then ingesting it for nutrition. The heat had cooked the lobsters very well, and since Twilight was not a carnivore she ate the lobsters, but Chewbacca screamed with horror as Twilight ate his hands.
Venusaur took a massive dump, for he was a grass type. Godzilla didn't want to miss the party, and ripping open a hole in space he jumped in, bringing an entire planet with him. It was Pangaea, land of the dinosaurs. Only this time, the dinosaurs had ice cream for heads.
So Twilight and Godzilla decided they would team up, but Chewbacca was still mad at Twilight for eating his hands so he went off to find his bud named Bigfoot. Ice cream head dinosaurs raged through the land, but they were no match for Twilight Sparkle who opened a portal and invited all of her friends from Equestria to come help her fight off the ice-cream dinosaurs. Without any further conversation, Twilight and her friends went ham on the dinorsaurs.
Rainbow Dash flew up to a dinosaur and ate all of the ice cream, which meant their brain, too. The dinosaur roared in defeat and fell to the ground, sprinkles falling everywhere. Chewbacca came back with his friend Bigfoot, and Applejack tried to buck Bigfoot in the face but Bigfoot used his big feet to kick Applejack in the tibia, destroying her face. Fluttershy thought that was kind of mean so she summoned the monsters that slithered in hell to rise from the depths, the ground cracking and releasing red gas and liquids.
Snakes that were made out of cotton candy wiggled their way through the cracks made in the ground, along with the president of China.
The cotton candy snakes attacked the ice cream dinosaurs while venusaur came into the land of Pangaea. As venusaur entered, he unmorphed back into the teenage mutant ninja turtles, who decided that they would no longer wear shells, so they were the naked teenage mutant ninjas. Sounds like my high school.
Anyway, Pinkie Pie was pretty pissed that Bigfoot had crushed Applejack's face so she attacked him with the party cannon. But Bigfoot had other plans. He took Pinkie Pie and her cannon, putting them into a palm tree. Then, whistling at one of the teenage mutant ninja turtles, he shook the tree and caused coconuts to fall down.
Leonardo used his razor sharp turtle swords to cut the coconuts open. Bigfoot, Chewbacca, and the ninja turtles enjoyed some fresh coconut milk.
Godzilla did not like this however, and with Twilight riding on his back he attacked Chewbacca. Unluckily for Twilight, Rarity had switched sides and was now on Bigfoot's team.
Rarity used the power of fashion to make a beautiful scarf appear out of nowhere. Cotton candy snakes bit at the feet of Chewbacca and Bigfoot, so Rarity wrapped her scarf around the snakes and strangled them, her horn becoming a dark black as her evil side slowly found its way out of the inner depths of her forgotten soul.
Bigfoot licked his foot, giving Chewbacca the signal. He used his Chewbacca powers to move the sun out of its usual orbit and bring it closer to Pangaea. All of the ice-cream dinosaurs melted, becoming small piles of milk and other ingredients that made ice cream. With no time to lose, Pinkie Pie ate all of the melted ice cream, licking it off the ground. With the ice cream dinosaurs out of the way, Chewbacca moved the sun back to its normal place and charged toward Godzilla, Twilight, Fluttershy, and the cotton candy snakes. Rarity whipped her yellow scarf with a resounding crack as she charged forward with Chewbacca.
Godzilla let out a mighty roar and breathed fire everywhere, causing all of the hair on Chewbacca's body to be burned and Rarity's scarf to be melted. Applejack, her face finally uncrushed, came back to the scene with Rainbow Dash, who had obviously been making out with her.
Clouds formed around the battlefield, and it started to rain newspapers. Twilight read one of the newspapers, but couldn't understand why everybody was so fucking stupid in the media, so she liquefied the paper and stored it for later in the little pouch she kept by her side that didn't exist.
Rainbow Dash looked skyward as Pitbull descended from the heavens, his pure white wings flapping soothingly. He sang one of his popular songs, shattering the ears of many smaller critters that roamed the area. Even Godzilla stopped breathing fire for a moment to watch as Pitbull the alicorn came to the ground, landing gracefully and with poise. Pitbull shot an all-powerful laser out of his horn, aimed directly for the naked teenage mutant ninja turtles. Raphael died from the laser, but the other three only got singed.
They morphed together to form three quarters of a venusaur and used their vines to whip Pitbull. He cried like a baby and fell onto the ground, where Godzilla ate him, leaving his carcass for the cotton candy snakes.
Fluttershy realized that Rarity had killed many of the snakes with her scarf before it had been incinerated, so she summoned the mythical sock puppet from the bowels of hell. The sock puppet was missing an eye.
Twilight and Godzilla charged forward once more, purposely stepping on Pitbull while they went. Chewbacca the hairless and Bigfoot grabbed Rarity and flung her onto Godzilla's back.
"I don't want to do this," said Rarity.
"DO IT!" yelled Twilight, her tongue becoming Elvis Presley. Her tongue proceeded to abuse drugs and sleep with many women, but Twilight did not know of this, for her tongue was of no interest to her.
Rarity let out a girly scream as she charged forward and Twilight had a sissy slap fight with her. They slapped each other consistently until Godzilla decided that neither of them deserved to be on his back, so he threw them off.
Twilight and Rarity landed in front of the sock puppets. Not but a couple meters away, Applejack and Rainbow Dash fought off the last of the cotton candy snakes. From within the nearby forest, roars of the ice cream dinosaurs could be heard as they came closer to the fight, eager to get their hands on fresh meat.
One of the dinosaurs was being ridden by Bob the Builder, who screamed out,"Yes Pecan."
Some ice cream fell off of the dinosarus, and some activists stood underneath collecting the bits that fell off of the dinosaurs.
"I hope for a whirled piece," said one of them.
Twilight screamed as the dinosaurs came closer. Confused, Rarity asked,"Did you scream?"
Twilight nodded. "Yes, I scream."
Twilight and Rarity watched as the sock puppet came closer, and they cowered in fear. Without a moment to lose, Rarity kicked her hooves out and hit the sock puppet in the face. The sock fell over. It didn't get back up. However, as the sock puppet fell it hit the president of China in the foot, causing him to grow a third arm which strangled him from the position on his forehead. Fun times.
Chewbacca had had enough of the frivolous fights, and decided that he was no longer teammates with Bigfoot, so he sprinted into the forest and found a ice cream dinosaur of the chocolate flavor.
He proceeded to hop onto the dinosaur back, ice cream getting all over his thighs as he charged forward. The dinosaur leaned down and ate Bigfoot in one bite, sending him down to the hot fudge that resided in the dinosaurs stomach.
Godzilla got mad that there was more dinosaurs, so he breathed more fire. Unluckily, the ice cream dinosaur dodged the fire attack, and jumped into the air and bit onto Godzilla's nose.
Godzilla flailed around helplessly while the ice cream dinosaur bit his nose, more of the dinosaurs coming from the forest. Chewbacca let a tear fall out of his eye for the loss of his lobster hands.
The ice cream dinosaurs were upon Godzilla now, and Twilight tried to shoot magic bolts at the ice cream dinosaurs but it was no use, they trampled over the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
The last of the cotton candy snakes were killed by Rainbow Dash, but even she stared as the ice cream dinosaurs attack Godzilla, ripping him to pieces and biting his nose.
Twilight screamed out in desperation, but that desperation turned to determination. Her horn glowed purple, and she could feel immense amounts of magic surging through her body.
Suddenly, a massive shockwave overtook the area, causing all of the ice cream dragons to be destroyed. Chewbacca, however, did not get destroyed. Godzilla cried out in relief as his nose was free of the biting dinosaurs. Chewbacca had other plans, and moved the sun out of space, rocketing it towards Pangaea. He smashed the sun into Godzilla, melting him and creating a gigantic crater in the ground.
Twilight started to sweat from the heat of the sun, and so did Chewbacca, but he was hairless already.
Chewbacca let out a final roar and charged towards Twilight, his feet turning into lobsters as he ran.
Twilight's eyes were wide open as he charged, and she did not notice her friends join her by her side.
They all closed their eyes, the magic of their friendship being harnessed above them as Chewbacca charged forward.
Twilight braced for impact, her eyes squeezed shut and her hooves brought close to her body. Even Elvis Presley hid behind her teeth.
There was a flash of light, and Chewbacca was stopped mid-roar.
An explosion covered Pangaea and Twilight was knocked unconscious.
When she awoke once again, she opened her eyes to the organized shelves of her library. Chewbacca and all her friends were also there. Twilight agreed to keep Chewbacca as a pet, and every sixth Wednesday the teenage mutant ninja turtles came to visit. Bigfoot got a job in bio medical engineering, and the cotton snakes went on to college with bright futures in their sights.
Twilight and her friends all turned into corn. Then they had a party. The sun was invited.
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Twilight slammed the book shut.
"Who wrote this and why is it in my library?"
A/N: And THAT is how you write a story with the "random" tag.
