Friendship is Average

by Dez Keiz

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 1479

3 Best Friends work dead end jobs and thus share an apartment to help pay the rent.

Set in a modern Equestria, more specifically in Fillydelphia, three best friends share one apartment because they all work dead-end jobs. Pen Pusher is a usually depressed and easily stressed unicorn working at some office building from a generic sitcom. Slick is a smart-talking flirt of a pegasus working as a busboy at a local diner. Iron Snap is an earth pony who takes his job as mall security too seriously and spends his free time body building. Both together and individually these three will endure many challenges of a life from dating mares to some series of events that goes comically wrong. Oh yeah and one more thing, despite being grown stallions, they are all blank flanks.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-17 01:00:01 UTC

Chapter 1: Just Another Day

Tic-toc. The sound of time passing. Time is a natural force that progresses without help or catalyst. For some time passing can be represented by the passing of clouds or celestial bodies. One of the most common representations is the motion and sound of a clock. Tic-toc.

Often described as an ambient sound it rarely holds any strong emotional value. But there are a select few who are frequently subjected to the sound. In time it transforms from a sound of a natural force in the background to a constant sound of madness. Day in and day out Tic-toc, tic-toc, tic freaking toc!

The dark blue Unicorn sat at his desk. The sound of the passing of time in the background. Magic levitated his pen and it wrote signatures and documents, then he would stamp them, fallowed by a staple or paper clip. Finally he would print out another set of papers creating a single document, and then repeat. The same routine over and over. His cubicle shielded his vision from other workers but he could still hear their routines as well. The white walls were devoid of life other than a few posters, mainly of exotic lands and places the unicorn knows he will never get to visit. He halted his routine when a pony walked to his desk.

"Pen Pusher, he the 3rd floor copy machine is on the fritz. We need to file a report for a new one"

Pen Pusher looked up, eyes blood shot with bags under them.

"But sir, I work on the 7th floor"

"Yes, but we can't get anypony to make a report on the 3rd floor so we need somepony else."

"Can't this just make the report and print it out on a different floor?"

" Company policy states that all reports made on a floor must be printed on the same floor."

" Oh, yes policy...""

"And if you can get that done by next week, that would be great..."

The pony walked off and when Pen Pusher was sure he was gone he let out a sigh and slammed his head on the desk.

The diner was quite as the lunch rush had finished and the staff were preparing for the eventual dinner crowds. In the kitchen the sound of running water and clanging dished filled echoed through the room. A young pegasus was at the sink cleaning it's contents. A white apron clad with various types of stains covered his yellow fur, his orange and brown mane pulled back to prevent any hair from falling onto the various dishes. The place smelt  of an odd combination of both grease and soap. A light yellow earth pony with a grey tail and no mane stood in the corner. He rubbed is roughly shaven chin and walked up to the bus boy.

He spoke in his gravely voice"Almost time for your shift to end, and the workers union says if I keep you extra I need to pay you extra, so get out."

"Yes sir Mr. Slugs." Replied the bus boy with an energetic attitude.

He finished the last of the dishes and walked away hanging up his apron. Once he exited the kitchen he bumped into one of the waitresses who just got done cleaning a table. It was Kiwi Drop, a very kind waitress who the bus boy was rather fond of. From her light green fur being complimented by her dark green mane, to her emerald eyes and soft spoken voice. Generally he is great with talking to mares, in high school he was known as a player as well as the time before he got this job, however there was something about this mare that was different. Normally he would say something smooth but he just stood there in awkward silence, eventually Kiwi decided to speak up and break it.

"H-hey Slick"

"Hi Kiwi"

"Just getting off?"

"Yeah, and you?"

"I am staying for the dinner shift."

"Oh, um..well I should be going then.."

"Yeah.."

Slick walked to the door with haste and was soon out of sight. Kiwi closed her eyes and let out a gentle sigh. Unbeknownst to the bus boy his charms had been working on her. The two shared the interest in one another but neither would dare make the first move. She looked at the door then got back to work cleaning another table.

The Twin Pones mall is a shopping center where a pony can shop till they drop, and sometimes scientist preform weird experiments in the parking lots, often involving theories about time travel or something. The mall is a big place and crime can happy anywhere In it. The job of keeping the peace falls to those individuals simply known as, mall cops. These hard working mares and stallions patrol around the clock to ensure a safe shopping experience. One of them stands out above the rest and that is a strong earth pony named Iron Snap. He is always on the look and has brought to justice many vandals and shop lifters. The White stallion stood firm at his post near the J.C Pony's 2nd floor. His Green mane cut short and his brown eyes rarely blinking. A younger mall cop trotted up to him and smiled.

"Hey man, me and the boys are going over to the bar to watch the game tonight, wanna join us?"

Iron Snapped replied with a near emotionless tone. " I can not, for tonight I have the night shift."

"Man, you need to lighten up a bit, call me if you change your mind"

"I doubt that will happen."

" Well man all im saying is-"

He was cut off by a shout. "Hey you need to pay for that!"

A pony ran out of a nearby store carrying a pair of boots. Iron Snap dashed after him nearly knocking over his younger co-worker.

"Stop or I will use force!"

The pony did not respond and kept running, but his efforts were futile and the staunch mall cop tackled him and pinned him to the ground. Soon the authorities were called and they took the shop lifter into custody. The shop owner offered to buy Iron Snap a drink however he refused as there was still work to be done.

Slick walked out of a local store with two bottles of cider. He sat down next to a homeless pony, he was grey with a white mane almost entirely covered in dirt. Slick handed his a cider bottle and they began to chat.

"How you doing Slick?" Asked the street pony as he took a sip.

"I am fine Hobbes."

"Did you ask her yet?"

"No...I can't bring myself to do it"

"Come on Slick, what ever happened to Fillydelphi's best player?"

"This is different."

"In what way?"

"I feel, different."

"Maybe you are maturing...or maybe you actually feel more than just a lustful impulse."

"I..I am not sure."

"Hey man, you will get it eventually, You are dumb..but not that dumb."

"Oh thanks Hobbes"

The two laughed and continued their conversation while drinking their cider.

Pen Pusher walked into the door of the apartment. He removed his tie and placed it on a rack and then he proceeded to the refrigerator where he grabbed himself a can of soda, sat on the couch, and turned on the t.v. About and hour late Slick came in the door and sat next to Pen Pusher.

Pen looked at him. "Did you ask her yet?"

"No.."

"Oh..how was work?"

"Fine, and how was it for you?"

"Lovely as always.."

"Another needlessly long report needed?"

"Yup..."

"Man, when is Iron getting home?"

"He said he was doing the night shift tonight."

"Man, will that guy ever lighten up?"

"Yeah, it will be the same day I get a raise."

The two exchanged some laughter. And then a news report came on.

"In other news today, a top mall security officer has brought to justice a well known shop lifter. Authorities have been after him for a week and the authorities are thanking the Twin Pones mall for their help. Another crime was stopped when a shop owner knocked out a stallion who was holding him at gun point. The shop owner did this after realizing the gun was a poorly painted toy. This just goes to show that crime doesn't pay even with an item for play...channel 6 news at 8'o clock, goodnight and be safe......really you made me do a rhyme for the end pun...man these writers are idiots I'm going to home and dru- What the buck do you mean we are still on the air! Shut it off dammit!"

The news program ends and Slick looks over at Pen.

"Just another day in Fillydelphia huh?"

Pen smiles with a slight chuckle"Yeah, just another day.