You Can Leave Your Hat On
You Can Leave Your Hat On
A bead of sweat trickled down Applejack's neck. Fanning herself with her hat, she took a deep draught from her water bottle. If they were going to play any longer, she'd have to open another button.
She looked around at the rest of her bandmates, taking five between songs, to see if they were handling the scorching summer day any better. Moving from Pinkie's stuffy basement to the barn had helped, but even with the doors at both ends open to let the breeze through Applejack still felt like firing up the old pump out back and running her head under the cool spray of water that would burst forth.
Pinkie sat behind her drums, chugging something from a can that looked like it had more sugar in it than liquid. She was dressed in a violently yellow t-shirt and loose pink shorts, her flip-flops sitting under her stool; she looked more ready for a day at the beach than rehearsing, save for the broad diamond of sweat on her back. Rarity had done something with her other pair of drumsticks to pin up her mass of curly hair when Pinkie had complained about it being icky and sticky on the back of her neck, and Applejack had no idea how it was physically possible that all that frizz was being made to defy gravity.
Random notes accompanied Rainbow Dash retuning her guitar. She sat cross-legged on a haybale wearing soccer shorts and a tank top, and from how she was hunched over her instrument it was painfully obvious she wasn't wearing a bra. Maybe that would help, Applejack thought. Then again, of the six of them Rainbow was the one who needed a bra the least. Her forearms and taut runner's calves were covered in a shiny sheen, but aside from occasionally wiping off her forehead with the back of her hand it didn't seem to be bothering her much. Must be a thing you just put up with automatically when you're on every sports team at school.
Rarity and Fluttershy sat together on the steep stairs that led to the barn's loft, Rarity waving a fold-up fan she'd retrieved from her purse and Fluttershy with her hands in her lap and her eyes closed. The thin straps of Fluttershy's gauzy shirt sat awkwardly over the straps of her bra, and her long legs were visible through her flowing skirt. Her hair had been bound up in a loose braid -- also Rarity's doing -- that hung over her shoulder. Aside from a bandanna with a flowery print keeping stray hairs from falling into her eyes, Fluttershy looked much like she always did. (But playing the tambourine wasn't exactly physically demanding, Applejack thought.)
On the other hand, Rarity was clearly in the middle of trying a new fashion that would let her get away with baring as much skin as possible to any cooling breeze and still remain sophisticated and classy; still remain Rarity, in other words. Tight white pants ending above her knees hugged her generous hips. Open sandals showed off her painted toenails. A light purple... top? -- now that Applejack thought about it, it might have started off as a scarf -- sat around her bust with a simple tie resting between her breasts, leaving her pale smooth back and stomach mostly uncovered; Applejack had bras that covered up more. She looked like she was coping best with the crippling heat -- she must be, or else everyone else in the band would have heard about it at length.
Sunset Shimmer wandered idly about the floor of the barn, stretching her bare arms. She wore her light tunic and billowy three-quarter pants, and no shoes, which was something even Applejack wasn't willing to do in the barn lest she run across a stray nail or something. It didn't seem to bother Sunset, who must have spent most of the hot summer barefoot unless absolutely necessary. Maybe that was a pony holdover thing; shoes that went on horses were a mite different. A damp spatter ran down the middle of her top from where she'd splashed herself with water earlier, and she'd tied her hair back in a no-nonsense ponytail. Or maybe she called it something else, Applejack thought. She'd have to ask her.
As for herself, Applejack had on what she usually wore -- button-up shirt and denim skirt -- and it was turning out to be a mistake. Even though her legs were free, the heavy denim was right where her bass sat when she played, and kept her thighs warm and uncomfortable. She'd rolled her sleeves up to past the point where she stopped tanning heavily on her arms and tied her hair a little higher to keep it off her neck, but still it didn't help: the shirt she wore felt stiff and tight and the bra underneath was chafing her something fierce. She hadn't paid it much mind when she was playing, but given a moment to relax, the heat and discomfort had time to catch up with her.
She took another swig from her water bottle, and loosened the next button on her shirt. Her bra was probably showing now, a little. Well, it wasn't like it was anything the girls hadn't seen before. Except maybe Rainbow, she thought with a smirk.
As if she sensed Applejack as thinking about her, Rainbow hopped to her feet on top of the hay and slung her guitar over her shoulder. "You wanna get back to it?" she asked the rest of the Rainbooms.
"You gonna play from up there?" Applejack asked, putting her hat back on.
"Sure, why not? I'll do a flying kick or something off the top during my solo, it'll be boss."
"It'll be somethin', alright. You wanna count us in?"
But although everyone had their instruments ready, none of them moved. Something odd had come over all her friends. They were all just standing there.
"I said, you wanna count us in, Rainbow?"
But Rainbow was unresponsive, grinning at something with her hand on her hip. Fluttershy had gone red as the side of the barn, and Rarity had pulled out her fan again to make a show of waving it at herself.
"What?" Applejack asked, turning around to see if there was something that had caught their attention.
Something certainly had. It was her brother, striding over to his truck, bare to the waist.
From behind her, Pinkie wolf-whistled.
"You run out of clean clothes or something, Mac?" Applejack asked.
"Nope." Big Macintosh opened the truck's door, seeming unconcerned that he had an audience.
"And you're gonna just head out like that?"
"Eeyup." He closed the door, letting one muscular arm rest out the open window.
"Put a shirt on, for Pete's sake!" Applejack shouted at him.
Big Mac's response was to rev the engine and shrug. Ain't shirt weather, his noncommittal shrug might have been saying, and we both know it.
"Applejack, there's no need to be a spoilsport," Rarity said as Mac's truck passed out of sight. Applejack turned to scowl at her.
"I don't get it," Sunset said, brushing some hair out of her face.
"That's mah brother," Applejack said, emphasizing with her palms. What was not to get?
"He's not our brother," Rarity countered. "Moment of band democracy, a show of hands, please, on who wishes to continue to observe Macintosh's robust physique, should he elect to remain sans shirt?"
She held up a manicured hand. Pinkie's hand also shot up like she wanted to answer a question in class, and she gave Applejack a huge grin. Furiously blushing, Fluttershy also raised her hand.
"Whatever," Rainbow said, idly picking strings from her hay perch.
All eyes turned to Sunset, who held up her hands and said, "Hey, I abstain. I... don't get it. He's just a shirtless guy. That's what I meant, before."
"Yeah, like big deal," Rainbow chimed in. "I see like tons of dudes without their shirts."
"Oooh," marveled Pinkie, "where, where? Do you have a secret stash of guys? Or is someone hooking you up with them? Do you have a guy guy, Rainbow?"
"...No," she answered flatly. "No, it's in the locker room. After practice."
"Ain't you got your own lockers?" Applejack asked. "Y'know, for girls?"
"Well, yeah, but not everyone waits until they're right in their lockers like a square. Plus I'm basically one of the guys anyway. Trust me, shirtless dudes is no big thing."
"Okay," Applejack said, "but you're not enough of one of the guys that you marchin' into their lockers wouldn't cause a riot, would it?"
"That's the thing I don't get," Sunset said. "I don't get why it's such a big deal. Your brother goes out with no shirt and nobody cares. If I did the same thing, I think I'd get arrested."
"Well," Rarity said, pursing her lips, "it's about decorum, and modesty. I mean, you wouldn't go to school in your pajamas, would you?"
"I would!" Pinkie exclaimed.
Rarity glanced at her.
"What? I have some really cute pjs."
"Well." Rarity cleared her throat. "Most of us wouldn't do that."
"I understand time and place and all," Sunset said, "but it is a thousand degrees in the shade today. If this isn't 'as few clothes as possible' weather, I don't know what is."
She stood with one hand on her hip, the other resting on the head of her guitar, considering.
"In fact..." she said, having come to a conclusion.
Sunset propped her guitar against Rainbow's bale of hay, then folded her arms across her stomach and pulled her tunic over her head, revealing a plain purple bra. Top still in hand, she did a quick turn, letting her arms fly out.
"Much better." She swung her arms back and forth, making her flat stomach flex.
"Woo!" Rainbow called from her platform, grinning like a fiend. Rarity looked mildly scandalized; Fluttershy was inspecting her tambourine.
"Sunset's right!" Pinkie exclaimed. She yanked her arm through one sleeve of her t-shirt and pulled it off, her tangle of hair somehow squeezing out the other side.
Pinkie Pie was not what you would call fat, but she did have a lot of curves, and the bikini top she wore did very little to conceal them. It left barely anything to the imagination at all, especially when she swung her discarded shirt above her head in wide sweeping circles.
"Down with shirts! Down with shirts!" she chanted. "Or--" She dropped her arm to her side, and the t-shirt went with it. "--I guess that was up with shirts." She let it fall in a crumpled heap next to the bass drum. "There. Down with shirts!"
Seeing all of Pinkie's exposed skin made Applejack suddenly and painfully aware of how warm and sticky she felt. She started untucking her button shirt.
"Oh, Applejack," Rarity sighed, "not you as well?"
"There's ain't no-one else here," she said, "and it's hotter'n hellfire out. I'm gonna be comfortable, dang it."
She stared at Rarity as she unbuttoned her shirt. Rarity stared back at her. Applejack neatly folded her shirt and set it on the ground, then planted her palms firmly on her hips. She felt better. Less constricted. And she wasn't about to let Rarity make her think otherwise.
Rarity, however, was occupied with something new. "Rainbow," she said, now with actual shock in her voice, "really."
Applejack glanced up at Rainbow. She was sitting again, twirling her tank top around one outstretched finger, her small breasts on display, her pink nipples prominent against her blue skin. She cackled laughter, and Applejack couldn't help but smile.
"Honestly." Rarity folded her arms.
"What? I don't care."
Rainbow purposefully stretched her hands into the air and arched her back, which had the effect of flattening her breasts out and making her nipples seem to jut out further. The light ridges of her abdominal muscles were visible.
"I know I look good," she said, raising her eyebrows at Rarity.
"That really is a step too far," she replied.
"It is?" Pinkie asked.
Applejack turned to look at her, as did everyone else. Pinkie had quietly removed her bikini top -- or maybe it had just disappeared, you could never quite tell with Pinkie -- and she sat behind her drums taking another swallow of her sugary drink with little concern about her nudity.
"But boobies are fun!" She cupped her full plump breasts, bouncing them a little. Applejack was reminded of cupcakes, with bright red cherries on top of the swirl of frosting. Pinkie thrust her hands into the air, jiggling, and announced, "Yay boobies!"
Rainbow laughed. "Yeah Rarity, chill out. They're just boobs. They won't bite you."
"Not if you keep your distance," Pinkie cryptically added.
Rarity sighed again. "If you must," she said.
"Hey, um, Rarity?" Sunset asked, tapping her on the shoulder.
"Yes, dear?"
"Can I get a little help here?"
She had pulled the straps of her bra down from her shoulders, and was now turning a little to present her back to Rarity.
"Sunset, why are you encouraging this foolishness?" Rarity asked, unlinking the hooks with her deft fingers.
"Are you kidding? You can't tell me you think anything about this is comfortable." She slid her bra off and tossed it by her top, then massaged beneath her pert orange breasts. "If I ever go back home, wearing a bra is the first thing I'm not gonna miss."
"You could just not not wear one," Rainbow said. She had slung her guitar back over her shoulder, the rainbow-colored strap making a neat divide down her chest.
"Easy fer you to say," Applejack muttered.
"I heard that! And don't think I don't get it. You only have to go to one training session before you think that maybe a sports bra isn't such a bad idea. I just meant, y'know, for just hanging out and stuff."
Pinkie giggled. "Good one, Rainbow."
"What? Oh yeah. Heh. I totally meant that."
"Rainbow Dash does have a point," Rarity said. She put her hand on Sunset's shoulder. "Why, with a little creativity--" She glanced down at her own scant top. "--One needn't be uncomfortable."
Another drop of sweat ran down Applejack's neck and disappeared into her cleavage. She looked from Rainbow to Pinkie to Sunset, then shrugged to herself and reached back to unfasten the clasp on her own bra. You could be comfortable while being straightforward, too. She took a deep breath, feeling like she was now able to.
Applejack thought Rarity was going to say something to her -- tell her off because she was meant to be the sensible one, maybe -- from the way she was looking at her, but instead she walked across the floor of the barn to where Applejack was standing. She'd felt quite free from taking her bra off, but the way Rarity was studying her was making her feel naked.
"Hm," Rarity said, picking up Applejack's plain cotton bra and examining it. "May I?" she asked.
"Uh, sure," Applejack said, not quite sure what she was agreeing to.
Rarity reached out and started to fondle her breasts. Applejack flinched, but she didn't pull away: whatever it was Rarity was doing, feeling her up wasn't her main goal. She was with her own thoughts, distant, like a doctor performing a check-up.
Other members of the band didn't see it the same way. Pinkie whistled again. Rainbow loudly declared, "Gay."
"Oh hush," Rarity said, all business. "Applejack, dear," she asked, lowering her hands, "what size brassiere do you wear?"
"Uh, 34-B?"
"Mm. No. You're not, you should be a 32-C."
"Wow," Pinkie said, "you're like a palm reader for boobs. A boob reader? Hey, what do you think this freckle here means? Wait, silly me, that's a chocolate sprinkle." She contorted to lick the sprinkle off herself. "Still good!"
"I'll keep that in mind," Applejack said, adjusting her hat and feeling it was best to just gloss over Pinkie this time.
"Happy to help." Rarity gestured with her hands, dangerously close to Applejack's nipples. "You will feel a world of difference."
She took a step back and rested an elbow in the palm of her hand. A thoughtful expression crossed her face, like she was trying to piece together just how she had ended up in the middle of most of her bandmates being half-naked.
"Goodness," she said, smiling, "I do appear to be slightly overdressed, don't I?"
"Take it off!" Rainbow called.
"I," Rarity said, placing the tips of her fingers on her throat, "do not share the same exhibitionist streak you apparently do, Rainbow, and I am perfectly comfortable having dressed for the height of summer. So I shall decline, thank you."
"Aw, come on Rarity," Applejack said. "Y' don't wanna be left out, do you?"
"Yeah," Sunset said. "It's like a bonding exercise. We all do something wild and crazy as a group, it brings us closer together as friends. You know."
"I believe," Pinkie said with uncharacteristic solemnity, "that I have already made my case regarding boobies and their fun-ness." She giggled like it was involuntary, which knowing Pinkie it might have been.
"Don't make me use band democracy," Rainbow said, towering over her from atop the hay with her arms folded.
Rarity smiled again and tugged lightly on the tie holding her impromptu top together. "I suspect," she said, leveling Rainbow with a stare, "that you just want a good look at my assets."
To this Rainbow had no reply.
"That's what I thought."
She smoothly pulled the tie loose, freeing her breasts and stretching up in Rainbow's direction. Whenever Applejack heard someone described as having an hourglass figure, the first thing she thought of was Rarity; with her wide hips, narrow waist, and shapely breasts she fit the image of an hourglass to a T, even if it was usually concealed under whatever new fashion trend she was interested in.
Rarity performed a neat pirouette, keenly observing the growing redness in Rainbow's cheeks. "Look all you want, dear," she said, sliding a hand down to her hip and giving it a saucy bump. Rarity, too, knew she looked good.
"Th... that's not what I meant!" Rainbow sputtered, her face on its way to turning she same color as her magenta eyes.
"Of course not," Rarity said, giving Applejack a wicked smile.
"Naw," she agreed, "we didn't think y' meant like that at all, Rainbow." It was very easy to sound insincere.
"I did!" Neither sarcasm nor irony were Pinkie's strong suits.
"Um..." a soft voice said from the stairs.
Five pairs of eyes turned to look at Fluttershy, overlooked, still sitting, her face looking red enough to fry an egg. She fiddled with the end of her braid.
"Oh, darling." Rarity rushed to her side, placing her hands over Fluttershy's. "We'd never dream of forcing you into something you weren't okay with."
"No, um." Fluttershy continued to look at the floor. "I... don't want to be left out. Just..."
"Then whatever's the matter, dear?"
"Are they a weird shape?" Pinkie asked.
"No..."
"Do they have gross warts?"
"I--"
"Is one really really big and the other really really small?"
"Fluttershy has normal boobs, Pinkie," Rainbow huffed. "Jeez."
Pinkie shrugged. "I was just asking."
Fluttershy cleared her throat, which was a call for silence. She stood up with her hands folded in front of her, and said, "Could, um... could you all just turn around for a moment, please?"
The rest of the Rainbooms all looked at each other, then one by one turned in place to face away from Fluttershy. Pinkie swiveled from side to side on her drum stool, and remarked to no-one in particular: "This is fun."
There was a rustling of clothing, then a long moment of silence. Finally, Fluttershy said, "Okay... I'm ready."
Applejack turned back to look at her. She was standing with her hands balled at her sides, her hair draped over one shoulder. Fluttershy often dressed light, so there wasn't much surprise to how she looked topless; her humble breasts fit her slender frame. Her light pink nipples stood out in spite of her deep blush.
"There," Rainbow said. "No big deal, right?"
"No big deal," Fluttershy repeated, looking up and smiling a little. She knelt down to pick up her tambourine, then straightened up and tapped it experimentally against her leg. "No big deal."
"So..." Pinkie said, tapping the edge of her cymbals with her sticks. "Should we play?"
"Yeah!" Rainbow exclaimed, and she counted in the song.
It shouldn't have made a big difference to their sound, playing topless, but it did. Even without amps and the shoddy acoustics of the barn, they sounded like the had the energy of a big live performance instead of the afternoon of a day's practice. Applejack felt invigorated, uninhibited, and she could tell the rest of the Rainbooms felt the same way. Pinkie pounded the drums with flair. Sunset pulled off a short solo with her guitar held behind her head, then fell right back into the song like she had done that a hundred times before. Rarity and Rainbow locked eyes during that instrumental portion, playing to the non-existent crowd. Fluttershy shimmied and bumped in time with her tambourine, dancing instead of her regular behavior of standing still as possible. Rainbow even did her flying kick off the top of the haybale, and Applejack had to admit it to herself: it did look pretty boss.
They were on fire. They were all so into the song, none of them heard the truck pull up or the door open and slam shut.
The song ended with Rainbow, Sunset, and Rarity all crowded together around an invisible mic stand, holding a note. Rainbow had her hand thrust to the sky, and she whipped it down to play a flourish of notes as Pinkie rattled the drums with a rapid barrage. She crashed both cymbals and shouted, "I got blisters on my fingers!"
The Rainbooms all looked at each other. Rainbow was breathing heavily from exertion. Applejack could feel her own chest rise and fall. "Wow," she said. "That was pretty good."
"Yeah," Rainbow agreed. "Heh, we should play like this all the time."
"Eeyup," said Big Macintosh. He was leaning against the open door, arms crossed over his broad bare chest, a huge stupid grin on his face.
Fluttershy squeaked and curled up into a ball. Rarity raised her keytar to block Mac's view of her, but slowly, like she was concerned he wouldn't get a good peek otherwise. Pinkie tried to contain all of her breasts in her hands, which was a difficult task considering she was also trying to take a sip of her drink at the same time; she settled for somehow wedging the can in her formidable cleavage and awkwardly leaning her head down, all the while grinning. Sunset just stood there, looking as she would have otherwise if she had been wearing a shirt. Rainbow, on the other hand, struck a pose as if daring Big Mac to check her out.
Applejack put a hand on her hip, the other resting on the neck of her bass. "How long y'been there?" she asked, frowning.
"While," he said nonchalantly.
"And it never occurred to you to, I don't know, be somewhere else?"
Big Macintosh glanced down at himself, his rippling muscles, his thick arms. "Seemed fair, s'all."
Applejack was about to speak -- tell her brother to clear off, something like that -- when a small voice spoke up from behind her.
"I, um," Fluttershy said, "I don't mind."
She was standing again, and blushing again, but the expression on her face that she was trying (and failing) to hide behind her hair as she looked at Macintosh told that it was for a reason other than embarrassment.
Mac's arm fell to his side. He looked stunned. He looked a little like how Fluttershy was looking. Maybe he was even blushing a little, but it was hard to tell.
"Yeah," Sunset said, picking up on the hint. "You should stick around."
"We could use an audience," Rainbow continued. "Playing to an empty house sucks."
"Plenty of hay to sit on," Pinkie added.
Rarity glanced at Applejack. "Band democracy," she whispered, making obvious eyes in Fluttershy's direction.
She didn't need to have it spelled out to her, Applejack thought. The whole school knew Fluttershy and Mac were sweet on each other, but neither of them had the courage to do anything about it. Who knows, maybe this would give them a shove in the right direction.
Meanwhile, Rarity had lowered her instrument. "As an artiste," she said, "I do try to not have too many hang-ups about the body. I wouldn't object to someone to perform to, either."
Applejack sighed at her. "Mac, do you want to watch us play?" she asked.
Big Macintosh considered this, then he walked into the barn, sat on one of the bales of hay, and planted his hands on his thighs. "Eeyup," he said.
And Rainbow lead the next song, and they continued to play, and they continued to sound awesome in spite of the weather in which nobody had any business wearing a shirt.
Author's Note
Joe Cocker's "You Can Leave Your Hat On" deserves a place on any "songs to take your clothes off to" mixtape.
