The Adventures of Chicken Rider

by Feast

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 1028

Justin wakes up one day, and decides he wants to be a chicken.

Art belongs to @ember_crush on Instagram

Justin decides to pursue his wild fantasy of becoming a chicken superhero.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-16 03:51:04 UTC

Never fear, for Chicken Rider is here!

Justin Nugent awoke one summer morning with a strange feeling. This wasn't no ordinary feeling, no, this was a strong, passionate feeling. A feeling ponies usually get when they are about to do something big. Something Earth-shattering.

But what?

Justin rubbed his eyes and sat up. What was this feeling? What was he supposed to feel? Justin thought as he looked out his window and at the beautiful sunrise. Justin began to ponder about some more. This feeling... What? What was it? Was it a lifelong journey that needed to be pursued? Was it a decision that would change lives? Would he do the unstoppable? All of these options floated through Justin's mind, and still, he couldn't find out what...

Then, it hit him.

It hit him like a freight train going hundreds of miles per hour. Like a hoofball player tackled him, right there, right then in his very own bedroom. Like a pile of bricks falling from the sky and hitting him, right on the head. Like a- okay you get the point.

Justin knew what he needed to do. He rolled over on the bed, and glanced over at his wife, who was now awake.

"I wanna be a chicken."

Justin walked into Ponyville's costume store. The place was packed left to right with masks, suits, props, fake spiders, you name it. Most of the costumes were Holloween-y as it WAS a costume store.

Justin made his way up to the front desk. A young stallion was seated there, he had a blue coat, a green mane, and... Fake glasses? He also happened to be reading a Daring Do book.

When Justin finally made his way up to the desk, The stallion asked, "May I help you?" without looking up.

"Uh, yes," Justin said, clearing his throat. "Do you happen to have any chicken suits?"

The stallion finally looked up. "Chicken suits?" He asked.

Justin nodded.

"Nopony has asked for a chicken suit in moons." The stallion said, getting up.

"Do you have any?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, I'll lead you to them."

The stallion trotted over to the right side of the store. There were many animal suits here. Dogs, turtles, even ponies...

Finally, they came to a wall of chicken suits. The stallion trotted over to the first one. It was pretty scary as it was covered in blood and had wires sticking out of it. It also reeked of oder and was yellow instead of white. Justin held his nose.

"What?" The stallion asked before looking up at the suit. His face went from a light blue, to a plain white. "Uhh, we should move on..." He said, speed-trotting over to another chicken suit. Justin could have sworn that an eye looked over at him before leaving it.

This one looked MUCH better to Justin. It was a simple chicken suit with a hole for a pony's head.

"This one is amazing!" Justin said in awe.

"Jeez, Nopony has EVER been THAT excited about a chicken suit... Or a chicken in general." The stallion said with a laugh.

And so, Justin went to go try on his suit...

Justin returned home about half an hour later.

"Honey, I'm home!"

Justin's wife, Ember Crush trotted downstairs, only to be greeted with her husband in a chicken suit.

"Oh, Justin, what the hell did you buy this time?!"

Justin looked at her very seriously. "I found my purpose in life."

Ember looked at him, very worried. "Are you serious right now?"

"Serious as I'll ever be."

Ember looked at him for a moment. He was serious. Actually serious.

"Well, I guess. If you decide you want to be a chicken... Then I support it."

"You really mean that?" Justin asked smiling.

"Yes. I do." Ember said in her most serious tone.

Which was hard considering that her husband was standing there in a chicken suit.

The next day, Justin went off on his first adventure. He traveled distant lands to accomplish what needed to be done...

Justin Chicken Rider approached the nugget factory.

The chicken nugget factory.

With his super-stealth skills, he climbed over the fence to the factory and entered the building through the back door.

He crawled past chicken scouts, and dodged their terrible excuseses for weapons. He then ran to the door to the second room, the grinder. This is where the poor chickens would be grinded up into nuggets, but Justin wouldn't stand for it.

Chicken Rider did one large karate chop at the machine, and it fell to peices.

"That'll show 'em!" Justin said.

Chicken rider went up the elevator to the upper part of the factory. He released all of the chickens from their tiny prison cells.

Finally, he approached the final door, and opened it.

There he saw Ray Kroc and his henchpony, Ronald.

"You'll never get away with this!" Justin shouted as Ray gave a laugh.

Ronald McDonald charged at Justin, but the infamous Chicken Rider was too quick! Justin dodged Ronald, causing him to crash into a wall.

"NOOOO!" Ray screamed. "My henchpony!" Ray pulled out a Big Mac. But this was no ordinary Big Mac. No, it was a Samwich Sword!

Justin dodged to strikes of Ray's sword. He went left, he went right. But finally, in one quick move, Justin kicked Ray Kroc in the gut, defeating him once and for all...

A few days later, Justin returned home.

"Ugh..." He groaned, sitting down on the couch and tugging at his chicken suit. "Its hard being a chicken..."

Ember laughed. "Why is that?"

"This suit itches, I'm tired of eating corn, and I spent countless hours saving fellow chicken friends from being turned into nuggets."

Justin took off his suit. "No more being a chicken." He said with a sigh.

Ember laughed again and said "C'mon, let's go order some chicken nuggets..."

Justin had a very peaceful slumber that night, without his chicken suit, but he awoke the next morning with a "Justin, Justin, wake up!"

"What is it?" He asked.

"I wanna be a goat..." Ember said.

THE END