Lineage

I looked at Luna for a long moment with a confused expression.

“What?” I asked. “What d’you mean I’m done here?”

“Here, this, all the shit you’ve been doing,” she said, gesturing to the city and everyone around me. “You’re done. You’re going home.”

“Luna, look, I can’t go home after all of-” I began.

“No, listen to me,” she said, cutting me off quickly. “Your trial is done. It’s over.”

“But I didn’t-”

“I’m not finished, Richter,” she said, cutting me off again. “I sent you down here to get treasure for Scale-Tits over there.”

This remark got Svea’s attention.

“You wandered in here, found three monsters girls and a shitload of demons,” she continued. “Now I know I’m not the easiest-going teacher on the planet, but I’d have to be fucking crazy to let you continue what you’re doing now. So as the one conducting your official Rite of Kinship, I hereby grant you a Royalty Confirmer Success, highest honors, and added points for bravery and ingenuity. We’ll conduct the official formality and get you a big boy badge when we get home, but as for now, I want you to take you and your little squad back to the Academy and sit your ass there until I get back. Because the shit I’ve seen down here has made me more than confident that you sticking around is the best way to get all of you killed.”

I kept my eyes locked on her for a long second, allowing the thought process I was experiencing to drag out for a few moments longer before answering.

“No, I’m staying till this is done,” I stated. “I’ve got a stake in this now and I’m not running away.”

“Right,” Luna said, grabbing me by the shoulders and dragging me to my feet. “I want a full debriefing now, and don’t even dream of sparing any details about what you’ve gone through.”

I and the rest of the group were dragged back to the place we’d set up base, Luna listening intently to everything from mine and Svea’s end and for Elena and her group. Elena explained that a notice had been put up on the job board in the city asking for a certain item to be retrieved from a treasure vault in the base of the city for an exorbitant amount of money by someone who lived in the Business District that went by the name Elron Levar. Elena and her group had picked up the notice and handed it in, being told by the guard that he’d been specifically instructed not to go see Elron until they’d collected the item he wanted, this item being described only as the a drinking mug made of sapphire, with a reward of several million gold if recovered.

We finished our stories, waiting for Luna’s response as she sat back in the chair she’d claimed, her eyes hazy and unfocused as she thought. Several moments went by before she sat up again, looking towards Elena and her group before making a statement.

“I’m asking you now, as a personal favour, to leave this city and never come back,” Luna said. “If you accompany myself and Richter back to Equestria, you have my word that you’ll each receive the reward promised by Elron from the royal treasury, along with anything in possession of the Equestrian Royal Family that isn’t protected under Crown Control and all of the sub-clauses contained within that contract.”

“Crown Control?” I asked Luna in a confused manner.

“A type of insurance that rulers can take out on specific items, buildings, or other such possessions that ensures they cannot be repossessed or granted to anyone as a reward upon completion of a task, whether by request or by promise of reward as long as that specific monarch pays a tax to the Global Council on a yearly basis.” Luna explained. “It was set up a few thousand years back as a method of preventing adventurers requesting one wish as their reward for completing a quest, only to wish for control over the kingdom, which the monarch would legally have to surrender their throne to honour the contract.”

“What if they just said no?” I asked.

“Then the issue would be raised to the appropriate authorities, in this case being the Global Council, for an illegal breach of contract and usually the monarch would be sued out the ass or, in more serious cases of contract breach, forced to abdicate or surrender their throne to the most appropriate candidate.” she continued.

“Not to be rude, Your Excellence,” Elena said with a nervous tone. “But can we get back on topic. You’re saying that if we leave this sapphire thing alone, you’ll give us the reward and let us split it between us?”

“No, I’m saying that if you leave this alone, you’ll each be given the same amount of money promised in the reward individually,” Luna said. “How much did the contract say the reward was?”

“Three million,” Elena said in a sheepish tone, as if Luna would react harshly to the enormous sum of money.

“Eh, chump change,” Luna shrugged. “I’ll ensure that you each receive that amount of money and an item of your choosing.”

“T-Thank you, Your Majesty,” Elena nodded, blushing fiercely at Luna’s response. “We’re all honoured to receive such a reward.”

“The money’s not the big deal on my end,” Luna sighed, scratching her head in an annoyed manner. “It’s the paperwork I’m gonna have to do in order to submit the treasury access request to our financiers that’s the shit part.”

“Wait…” Elena said. “Why do you have to submit a request form? Aren’t you the ruler of the country?”

“Yes, I am,” Luna nodded. “But as a way to prevent against mad monarchs pissing the country’s funds into the wind of a cure for hair loss and penis enlargement weed, the Council imposed a law that all requests for money amounts larger than what they dub as ‘Living funds’ must be requested from the country’s financiers to approve or deny the request. Though, like anyone that works for the government, you just have to bribe them or offer a couple favours and they’re more than willing to grant you thirty six million gold to research how they get the cream inside of a cupcake.”

“Heh,” I chuckled. “I actually knew that one.”

“That’s a fucking surprise,” Luna said, giving me a sideways glance.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Elena said, raising her hand to ask a question. “What kind of bribes do you give?”

“Eh, it varies from person to person,” Luna shrugged. “Sometimes all it takes is for around three hundred thousand of the twenty five million dollar shipment to ‘go missing’ and other times one guy just wants to fuck you.”

Elena was clearly disturbed by the second option, recoiling slightly before shaking her head in an uncomfortable manner.

“I-I don’t think I could do that,” she said, Jiang pulling her closer and snuggling tighter to her worried girlfriend.

“It’s politics honey and it’s something you get used to,” Luna chuckled, leaning back in the chair. “I was exactly the same at your age, terrified of having to use my body to get what I wanted in life, but it’s like what one of my old tutors used to say: ‘Self respect and dignity are like a bra and panties, they’re something you only wear in public’. Once you learn to get your freak on behind closed doors, the idea of sucking dick, or several if we’re referring to the Winter Games Equestria hosted twenty years back, for political benefits becomes less disgusting and more of a change of pace from the usual boring shit you do in life.”

“If… if I may say so, you’re a lot less… regal than the stories my mother tells me,” Elena said, rubbing her head against Jiang’s fuzzy arm.

“Because right now you’re getting to see the real Luna for all she’s worth because I don’t need to be prim and proper right now,” Luna chuckled. “Take my word on it, honey. If you look up to a king or a queen when they’re giving a speech on equality and the state of their nation, don’t ever looking into their personal life, because nine times out of ten you’ll find out that their fucking one of their male servants from the Middle East behind their wife’s back as well as having a terrible addiction to heroin… I believe there was a topic of conversation we drifted away from…”

“The reward money?” Jiang asked.

“Ah, yes, right,” Luna nodded. “If you leave now, I’ll get you three million each and… a manor house with a vineyard, just for an example.”

“Can I get one with a child gate?” Larra asked, gently rubbing her stomach. “I gotta keep the little one safe in a few months.”

“What did you do now?” Luna asked, immediately turning to me.

“Why do you instantly assume that when a woman is pregnant it was always my fault?” I snapped in response.

“Because it is almost always your fault,” Luna growled angrily, lifting up her hand to count off her fingers. “Lana, Helen, Aika, Abhy, Veronica, Madeline, Josephine. For fuck’s sakes, I’m almost positive that the Empress of Guoxia’s sister’s little girl is yours. And she’s fucking married!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault her husband never touched her,” I objected quickly. “And to be honest, I’m positive Eu Meh’s husband was keeping more than his robes in the closet.”

“You should consider yourself lucky that none of them can look like you or else we’d be at war with about thirteen different countries,” Luna snarled. “With at least one of them having two different reasons, Mr ‘Threesome with the Nipponese Twin Shrine maidens’!”

“Can we take this subject back to money please?” Jiang snapped angrily. “If we leave, you’ll pay us and that’s that, right?”

“Yes, exactly that,” Luna nodded. “Now pack up and fuck off!”

“Luna, you haven’t even explained why you want us to leave,” I said. “Why can’t we stay here?”

“Quick trivia quiz,” Luna said, “Why do we build walls?”

“What?”

“Answer the question.”

“How is this rele-”

“Answer the question.”

“To keep dangerous things out!”

“And what other reason is there?”

“To keep dangerous things…” I said, my anger dropping out immediately as I realised what she meant.

“Did it not seem suspicious that they left armed guards in an empty city?” Luna asked. “Or that the gate to the richer districts, essentially a gated community, was locked from the outside? As if the poor were locking the rich away? That’s because they weren’t. This city wasn’t abandoned and locked up to keep treasure hunters out. This city was abandoned to keep those here safe and to keep something locked away.”

“And… it wouldn’t happen to be the thing that Elisa mentioned, would it?” I asked.

“If you’re talking about what I think you are,” Luna nodded. “Then yes, it is. The reason this place has so many doors is to lock a monster in the bowels of the city. And that monster, if what I’ve seen is correct, has power rivalling that of a god.”