Hot Plot Celestia
Pinkie Pie Realizes That Celestia is Really Hot!
Written by TheCrimdonDM
The large room held several long couches, a few tables, and even a few book shelves along the sides of the wall. Twilight couldn’t help but plunder through the various books while her friends sat on the couches, drinking tea and devouring the plate of cookies left for them. It was with great disappointment that Twilight had to pull herself away from the bookshelves though. She’d already read each and every one of these books throughout her childhood, several times.
“So,” Rainbow Dash said. “When’s the princess showing up? We’ve been here forever.”
“Oh hush, Rainbow. The princess is a very busy mare, I’m sure that she’s on her way as we speak,” Rarity comforted.
“Ayep, ’sides that, it’s only been about ten minutes,” Applejack added.
“Yeah, well it feels like ten hours,” Rainbow Dash complained.
Pinkie Pie suddenly popped up from underneath the table, pressing her muzzle against Rainbow Dash’s and drilling into her eyes. “Not even, do you know how long ten hours feels like? It feels like an eternity.” Pinkie Pie pulled away and set herself in front of the plate of cookies. She began greedily eating them.
Twilight Sparkle let out a sigh. This is what happens when we’re asked to wait for anything. I just wish that the others would be a little more patient… at least this time they left sweets for Pinkie Pie. Twilight shivered at the memories of what happened the last time they had forgotten to give something for Pinkie Pie too munch on.
The door opened up and the tall, pristine form of Princess Celestia walked in. She looked down at the six ponies in the room and smiled. She moved into the room before sitting down at the end of the table.
Celestia eyed Pinkie Pie suspiciously. “Oh, you didn’t leave any for me?”
Everyponies eyes went wide. With a red flash of light, Twilight teleported next to Pinkie Pie and said, “Pinkie, you didn’t eat all the cookies, did you?”
Pinkie Pie looked up at Celestia with big round puppy dog eyes. She walked over to Celestia with her head hung low. Quietly she said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you wanted any.”
Everything was quiet for a moment, until Celestia let out a small laugh. “It’s quite alright, Pinkie. I was not serious, if I really want cookies that badly I can have my chiefs’ whip up a few batches for us.”
A happy smile grew over Pinkie’s face and she stared up at Celestia with bright blue eyes. Celestia reached over and gave Pinkie a one legged hug. Pinkie Pie laid her head down on Celestia’s leg and smiled. “You’re warm.” A moment later she frowned. “Really warm.” Pinkie opened her eyes and pulled away saying, “Ouch, you're burning up.”
Celestia frowned. “I’m sorry, I had thought I was cooled down enough for contact. I suppose I should have lowered my temperature a bit more.”
Twilight let out a sigh. This sort of thing used to happen to her a lot when she was younger, actually it still did on occasion. She felt bad for Pinkie though, because she knew how much the pink pony loved getting hugs.
“Why are you so hot?” Pinkie Pie asked.
Celestia looked away. “Well, I brush my mane and coat several times a day, I am also very selective about the kinds of shampoo that I use. Makeup is another important factor when making one’s self look good.” A playful smile crept over her lips. “Oh you weren’t referring to my appearance, now were you?”
There was a few nervous laughs from around the room at Celestia’s joke. Pinkie Pie giggled honestly and said, “Wow that was a good one.”
“Well I try. As for why my body temperature is so high it’s because I hold within me the very power of the sun itself. After so many years of raising the sun, I found that I could if I chose melt the very floor I’m standing on, although I usually try and keep my temperature at least a little lower than that,” Celestia explained.
“Wait a minute, are you saying that you can control your body heat?” Pinkie Pie said, a sly grin growing on her lips.
Twilight took a step forward. “Pinkie, what are you thinking?”
Suddenly Pinkie Pie vanished and everypony just blinked in surprise. For a long minute everypony just stood still, and quietly waiting for Pinkie Pie to show up again. Finally at long last Pinkie Pie reappeared next to Celestia, with a chief’s hat on and a spatula in one hoof, an egg in the other.
Twilight’s jaw dropped. She’s not serious. Surely she can’t be serious.
“Today on cooking with Pinkie,” Pinkie Pie proclaimed. “We will be cooking eggs a la princess.” She jumped into the air tossed the spatula and using both hooves cracked the egg open on the top of Celestia’s rump, just above the tail. She landed and caught the spatula with her teeth.
Everypony gasped. And for the longest moment they stayed quiet, nopony made a sound. Aside from Celestia who looked very confused at the egg sitting on top of her rear, everypony stared at Pinkie, simply praying that this particular stunt was over, and that Celestia didn’t punish the pink pony too hard for it. When the sizzling sounds began nopony could make a sound, except for this choking sound coming from Celestia.
Twilight looked up and saw Celestia’s cheeks puffed up, her mouth shut tight and her eyes hardly open as a single tear ran down the side of her face. Twilight had never seen such an expression from the princess before. When Celestia opened her mouth the room was filled with her deep, rich laughter. Pinkie Pie simply stood staring seriously at the egg on Celestia’s rump.
After Celestia’s laughter had finally calmed down, she stared at Pinkie with tears in her eyes. Pinkie Pie took the spatula, and standing on her hind legs, she flipped the egg over. The bottom was a crispy golden brown. Everypony stared in horrified fascination at the egg, and Celestia broke out into another fit of tremendous laughter.
“Wow, Princess Celestia,” Pinkie Pie said. “You really do have a hot plot!”
Celestia laughed even harder.
After another minute Pinkie used the spatula and slid the egg off and down onto a plate, where she gotten the plate nopony knew. Pinkie sat down in front of the table, and stared at the egg in front of her. Using a fork she picked it up and took a bite. Everypony watched in horror as she chewed a few times, and then swallowed. She smacked her lips together a few times and smiled.
After a moment of silence Rainbow Dash leaned forward and asked, “So?”
Pinkie stared at her blankly. “So what?”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth but was interrupted by Fluttershy who asked, “How does it taste?”
Pinkie Pie smiled. “It’s really good, a bit furry, but really good.”
Everypony stared at her, and then back to Celestia, and then at Pinkie. Celestia let out a sigh and shifted a little awkwardly. “Pinkie, would you mind getting six more plates, and two cartons of eggs?”
Pinkie Pie looked back at her. “Oh, is that all?”
Celestia bit her lip. “And a loaf of bread… or two…”
“Okie dokie lokie, I’ll also get some cinnamon and other stuff to make French toast with,” Pinkie Pie stood up and bounced away, leaving her plate on the table.
Everypony eyed the egg hungrily. Celestia leaned over, sniffed the egg, and then in one bite ate the remainder. She chewed a few times, swallowed hard, and stared off into space. “Oh my, I taste heavenly.”
The End
