He found himself, as he surprisingly often did, half-embedded in the ground. He kicked his legs, before pulling his head out of the earth. He had no idea where he was, as he looked around. Nothing looked familiar. Nearby, he did spot a small town. Perfect. Wasting no time, he immediately headed for it.

What he saw surprised him. Equine shapes... He hadn't seen creatures like this except in ancient tales of a powerful god-king's mighty steed! More surprisingly, he understood their speech. Hiding stealthily behind a tree, the man paused to listen in.

"You know, the Princess recently lost her favorite tea cup." Roseluck said, as she passed by the tree, not taking any note of the figure behind it. "The guards have been looking for it, but no one's found it yet."

Lily gasped in shock. "You don't suppose someone STOLE it, do you?" She said, overreacting as was rather normal for her.

Of course, the man behind the tree had no idea she was prone to overreaction. He leapt out from behind the tree. "Aha! So a dastardly thief is causing problems for the noble princess of this land? Do not worry! Your agent of enquiry is on the case!" he said, posing.

A moment passed.

He ran off without another word, in the general direction of Canterlot Castle.

Roseluck looked at Lily, who looked at Daisy, who looked back at Roseluck.

"We'll just pretend that didn't happen, okay?" Daisy suggested. The other two mares nodded, and proceeded on their way.

--

"Well, please be sure to keep me up to date." Celestia said, a little disappointed at the most recent report about her teacup. She dismissed the guard, and sat on her throne, a bit mopey. She really liked that teacup, it was a present from Luna from thousands of years ago, with "#1 big sister" written on it. To think it could have gone missing!

Suddenly, the doors to the throne room burst open, and a strange bipedal creature ran in. It stopped for a moment to catch its breath, then it posed. "A lady cries out for help, and a gentleman must needs oblige!" It said, flexing for some reason. Its teeth sparkled weirdly. "Fear not! The Agent of Enquiry is here to assist you, fair damsel! I shall seek out this villain and bring them to justice, rescuing the precious item!"

Celestia didn't really know what to say, but she wasn't about to turn down somepony's help, even if it wasn't a pony. "C-certainly, I would appreciate that greatly." She said, trying to use her normal, 'royal' tone, though it was difficult.

The man sprinted out of the room without a moment's notice, leaving Celestia sitting in stunned silence.

In a dark alley, the legendary thief, Mare-Do-Ill, was looking over her haul. "Hahaha, this is the greatest thing I've ever managed to steal! Straight from the royal bed chambers themselves..." She levitated the small teacup next to her eyes. Despite the poor look of the cup, having something that the Princess owned would fetch quite a lot of bits on the Canterlot black market.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The strange human posed, pointing at the mare. Mare-do-Ill looked surprised, then confused, then determined.

"Ah, you must want this little teacup back, eh?" She said. This wasn't the first time she'd been found by a policepony... even if in this case it was a strange primate of some kind. "Well, I'm afraid you won't be able to get it." She smirked, her horn glowing as she prepared her trap. If he stepped too close, the trap would detonate, and the poor Inspector would be blown away.

"I, Hildibrand, Agent of Enquiry, will put an end to your villainy, horse-creature!" He said, finally moving. He ran towards the mare, who grinned wickedly...

Unfortunately for both of them, he totally didn't notice the rock that he managed to trip over. It was like time was in slow motion to the mare, as she watched as he reached out, barely grabbing the teacup in her magical aura... before landing on the trap. "N-no!" She screamed, but it was too late, as he, and the teacup, blasted off into the air.

A few moments later, there was a crash, as a teacup smashed through the roof of the castle, landing right at Celestia's hooves. "Oh! Here it is." She said, smiling. "I guess it's a good thing I enchanted this cup so thoroughly with anti-breaking spells." She looked up through the small teacup-shaped hole in the roof. "I'll need to thank that strange creature who talked funny if I ever see him again." She thought to herself, smiling as she carefully filled the cup with tea and started drinking it.

As for our strange hero, he was last seen somewhere in low orbit.

Author's Note

HILDIBRAND WILL RETURN

maybe not. This is probably only gonna be really funny or interesting to people who played a certain MMORPG but I felt like writing it and it's goofy enough in its own right, I think.

... hopefully.