Princess Celestia does stuff

by Princess_Celestia

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 1868

A collection of short stories in which a certain Princess of the Sun goes about her daily life, in various alternate realities.

This is a story in which Princess Celestia does whatever the heck she wants. Sort of a 'Writer's block destroyer', in that I'll just write a short, contained story per chapter, more as a bit of goofiness than an actual attempt at telling a moving, deep plot. Expect an omnipotent, goofy Celestia!

Published 2015-08-17 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-21 07:02:47 UTC

Princess Celestia defeats the Changelings

The light shone into the throne room, as Celestia stared down the changeling queen who stood before her. As large and imposing as Celestia herself, the queen felt dangerously powerful. "Ha, ha, ha..." Chrysalis laughed, her insectoid voice sending chills up the spines of anypony who heard it. "The Elements have been defeated. I have captured all your subjects with my swarm. You are the only pony left, Celestia. There is no hope."

Celestia held firm, stamping a hoof down. "Not yet, Chrysalis! Even without my subjects, I can still defeat you with their hlopes... I mean, their hopes and dreams!" Chrysalis glared at the pony princess, and her horn started to glow. A green laser shot out at the princess, who met it with her own laser. They met in the middle, and the battle of powers had begun. The princess' face grimaced with the effort, as Chrysalis similarly seemed to pour all she had into her attack.

The beams wavered, then slowly began to head towards Celestia. She seemed surprised, then lowered herself farther, channeling more of her power into the beam. Slowly, it began to change direction, heading back to the Changeling Queen! The drones gathered around were speechless, looking at their queen as the beam slowly, but inevitably, reached the Queen's wicked horn! A great burst of light emanated from the horn, and the sound of a number of bodies falling to the ground was evident.

When the light died down, the changelings had all collapsed, including their queen, and Celestia stood over them, a conquering heroine. Then, she turned and bowed at the fillies and colts in the audience, as the changelings got up and did so too as they applauded. Cheerilee walked in front of them, smiling. "Now everyone, please thank Chrysalis and her changelings for coming here all the way from their hive to put on that show for you!" She said to the gathered little horses.

"THANK YOU CHANGELINGS~" They all chorused, as they were taught. The group got up and left the stage, leaving Celestia and Chrysalis standing next to each other.

"Look, I'm sorry I flubbed my lin-" Celestia started to say, turning to Chrysalis. Chrysalis was obviously trying her best not to laugh.

"Y-you know how hard it is to seem evil when I'm holding back my laughter??" Chrysalis asked, in an accusatory way. "I thought I was going to die in front of all those kids!" She said, starting to chuckle. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" she managed to say, before bursting into laughter.

Celestia smiled mischievously, and moved next to Chrysalis, waiting for her laughter to subside. "I can't hide anything from you, can I?" She said, patting the changeling queen's head with a large hoof. Chrysalis didn't try to stop her, as the laughter slowly dwindled. "Though you've sure gotten strong recently, haven't you? I had to try a bit harder to pull off that fight scene." She smiled. "I think it added to the drama, though. The foals certainly seemed to like it."

Chrysalis nodded, then stood back, looking out on Ponyville as the schoolponies all went back to class. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I ever did try to invade, you know?" She said, looking at Celestia. The changeling queen's green, eerie eyes staring at the princess of the sun. There was no malice in her gaze. No envy.

Celestia smiled. "You think you might be able to beat me?" She asked, her voice gentle and mischievous, not a hint of worry that such a thing could ever happen was present in her voice. "Besides, you wouldn't want to exhaust yourself with all that PLANNING that goes with a war, would you?

Chrysalis grinned in response. "That's a good point but still, I don't know... I would have grown quite powerful off all that love... maybe I'd even be able to defeat you in a duel like that! I mean, I am getting stronger all the time, Celly." She teased, poking Celestia with a hole-ridden hoof, her expression mirroring her friend's.

The two monarchs looked at each other, then laughed. "That'd never happen." They said in unison, before hugging and slowly leaving the little stage behind, the small volunteer cleaning crew already at work. The two returned to the castle for a while, spent time catching up with each other (And Luna, of course), and then Chrysalis left, with a fresh plate of cupcakes to share with the Hive back home. It wasn't easy to keep a few hundred adorable larvae well fed, after all.

The drones, her precious children, gathered around her as she returned to the hive. The drones who were part of the play had already returned, and had told the others about the production. The drones and larvae all congratulated their dear mother on her successful play, and she gave out the cupcakes, which were carefully shared equally among her many children. When she returned to her throne, she sat down, only to hear a rude noise. She quickly reacted, standing up and looking under her rear, finding a whoopee cushion, emblazoned with the emblem of the sun. A couple fillies snickered to themselves before scampering out of the room. Chrysalis merely watched them go, chuckling lightly to herself. "Of course, she'd use the ponies most like herself in her schemes. Mischievous fillies."

Yes, the two of them were the dearest of friends. Both childish pranksters as well as motherly guardians of their nations. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the two of them would be the greatest of friends, for all of eternity. And they were right, of course.

Author's Note

Like I mentioned in the main description, this entire story is going to be a selection of mostly unrelated stories, taking place in different universes. Here's our first, in which the Changelings get along pretty well with the ponies. Celestia and Chrysalis are buddies, too. It's nice when immortal ponies have best friends!

Princess Celestia meets a Human in Equestria

He found himself, as he surprisingly often did, half-embedded in the ground. He kicked his legs, before pulling his head out of the earth. He had no idea where he was, as he looked around. Nothing looked familiar. Nearby, he did spot a small town. Perfect. Wasting no time, he immediately headed for it.

What he saw surprised him. Equine shapes... He hadn't seen creatures like this except in ancient tales of a powerful god-king's mighty steed! More surprisingly, he understood their speech. Hiding stealthily behind a tree, the man paused to listen in.

"You know, the Princess recently lost her favorite tea cup." Roseluck said, as she passed by the tree, not taking any note of the figure behind it. "The guards have been looking for it, but no one's found it yet."

Lily gasped in shock. "You don't suppose someone STOLE it, do you?" She said, overreacting as was rather normal for her.

Of course, the man behind the tree had no idea she was prone to overreaction. He leapt out from behind the tree. "Aha! So a dastardly thief is causing problems for the noble princess of this land? Do not worry! Your agent of enquiry is on the case!" he said, posing.

A moment passed.

He ran off without another word, in the general direction of Canterlot Castle.

Roseluck looked at Lily, who looked at Daisy, who looked back at Roseluck.

"We'll just pretend that didn't happen, okay?" Daisy suggested. The other two mares nodded, and proceeded on their way.

--

"Well, please be sure to keep me up to date." Celestia said, a little disappointed at the most recent report about her teacup. She dismissed the guard, and sat on her throne, a bit mopey. She really liked that teacup, it was a present from Luna from thousands of years ago, with "#1 big sister" written on it. To think it could have gone missing!

Suddenly, the doors to the throne room burst open, and a strange bipedal creature ran in. It stopped for a moment to catch its breath, then it posed. "A lady cries out for help, and a gentleman must needs oblige!" It said, flexing for some reason. Its teeth sparkled weirdly. "Fear not! The Agent of Enquiry is here to assist you, fair damsel! I shall seek out this villain and bring them to justice, rescuing the precious item!"

Celestia didn't really know what to say, but she wasn't about to turn down somepony's help, even if it wasn't a pony. "C-certainly, I would appreciate that greatly." She said, trying to use her normal, 'royal' tone, though it was difficult.

The man sprinted out of the room without a moment's notice, leaving Celestia sitting in stunned silence.

In a dark alley, the legendary thief, Mare-Do-Ill, was looking over her haul. "Hahaha, this is the greatest thing I've ever managed to steal! Straight from the royal bed chambers themselves..." She levitated the small teacup next to her eyes. Despite the poor look of the cup, having something that the Princess owned would fetch quite a lot of bits on the Canterlot black market.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The strange human posed, pointing at the mare. Mare-do-Ill looked surprised, then confused, then determined.

"Ah, you must want this little teacup back, eh?" She said. This wasn't the first time she'd been found by a policepony... even if in this case it was a strange primate of some kind. "Well, I'm afraid you won't be able to get it." She smirked, her horn glowing as she prepared her trap. If he stepped too close, the trap would detonate, and the poor Inspector would be blown away.

"I, Hildibrand, Agent of Enquiry, will put an end to your villainy, horse-creature!" He said, finally moving. He ran towards the mare, who grinned wickedly...

Unfortunately for both of them, he totally didn't notice the rock that he managed to trip over. It was like time was in slow motion to the mare, as she watched as he reached out, barely grabbing the teacup in her magical aura... before landing on the trap. "N-no!" She screamed, but it was too late, as he, and the teacup, blasted off into the air.

A few moments later, there was a crash, as a teacup smashed through the roof of the castle, landing right at Celestia's hooves. "Oh! Here it is." She said, smiling. "I guess it's a good thing I enchanted this cup so thoroughly with anti-breaking spells." She looked up through the small teacup-shaped hole in the roof. "I'll need to thank that strange creature who talked funny if I ever see him again." She thought to herself, smiling as she carefully filled the cup with tea and started drinking it.

As for our strange hero, he was last seen somewhere in low orbit.

Author's Note

HILDIBRAND WILL RETURN

maybe not. This is probably only gonna be really funny or interesting to people who played a certain MMORPG but I felt like writing it and it's goofy enough in its own right, I think.

... hopefully.