Pinkie Starts A Band

by Lise

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2039

Many things could cause the birth of a band, including a Pinkie Pie joke...

Pinkie Pie, prankster extraordinaire, has come up with the best prank ever! Only question is... how did a music band form as a result?

Written for the Pinkie Pie character training prompt of the Hazardous Writing Materials and Challenges group.

Published 2015-08-17 04:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-17 04:20:02 UTC

...Just Not Hers

A joke started it all. A Poison Joke. As usual, Pinkie Pie was the culprit. One day, while on her practical joke spree, she got the greatest idea yet – add some poison joke to a few Sugarcube Corner pastries. Remembering the effects it had on her and her friends, the result was guaranteed to be hilarious. Better yet, she already had a target in question – somepony who would appreciate it. Rubbing her hooves, Pinkie got to work.

The muffin was ready the very next day. It was larger than the average muffin, with more sugar and raisins, and of course the special ingredient. There was no question who would buy it. Pinkie had made sure of that.

That particular day, Derpy went to Sugarcube Corner, as usual, and ordered some muffins, as usual. She didn't fail to notice the extremely large and attractive—albeit slightly blue—muffin, and predictably bought it. So far so good. Pinkie hoped she would eat it there and them, but Derpy had a mind to enjoy it outside. All the better! More ponies would witness Pinkie’s masterpiece that way! Derpy was just about to take a bite, when somepony interrupted.

“Derps,” a dark indigo pegasus swooped down. “Question for you.”

Pinkie Pie barely kept herself from jumping out from her hiding place and shooing him away. This was no time for idle chat! A joke was in play! If he ruined it, Pinkie’s effort would be in vain, and if that happened there would be vengeance.

Good thing Derpy liked muffins more than anything. While the indigo Pegasus kept on blabbering about stuff - all to do with clouds, lightning, and the like - she proceeded with her breakfast, politely nodding as she did. The joke muffin slowly approached her mouth. Pinkie held her breath. Alas, before her target could take a bite, Lyra Heartstrings appeared from nowhere and sat heavily at Derpy's table.

"Finally!" she said with an expression that would make a pack of Timberwolves feel pity. "And I thought yesterday was the worst!"

No! Pinkie Pie screamed internally. Don't ruin it! If Derpy didn't finish her muffin now, she would take it with her to work! And if she took it with her to work, she would eat it there! And if she ate it there, she would hardly say a word, since she doesn't say anything while delivering mail, and even if she did, it wouldn't matter, since Pinkie wouldn't be there to hear it!

"Two hours!" Lyra groaned waving her fore-hooves in the air. "Two agonizing hours! Do you have any idea what is like to try and teach Silver Spoon music?!" she asked, looking at the pegasi. Both were looking at her eyes wide, blank expressions on their faces. Even from this distance, Pinkie could tell they were confused to the point of leaving. She had to act quickly! Rushing to the kitchen, she snatched a jug of lemonade with her teeth, then quickly rushed outside, placing it on Derpy's table.

"Why, hello, Lyra!" she said grabbing a glass from one of the nearby tables. The pony there blinked, uncertain what was going on. "Have a glass of lemonade," Pinkie filled it to the brim, then shoved it in Lyra's hooves. "It does wonders for the nerves! And don't forget to sleep facing east on a Tuesday!"

Before anypony could even think about asking a question, Pinkie had run back to her hiding place. Her carefully constructed sentence had exactly the effect she wanted. The earth pony smiled, as she carefully analyzed the confused expressions of her targets. Her words had successfully erased everything in their short term memory. Now they couldn't remember the events of the last minute, even if they wanted to.

"This actually tastes quite good," Lyra said, taking a sip from her glass. "Want some to go with your muffin, Derpy?"

They grey pegasus shook her head. She did, however, much to Pinkie's joy, get back to her snack. One bite, Pinkie thought. Just one bite, and your journey to the laugh side will be complete! She could almost see it. The laughter, the confusion on everypony's face, the rumours that would go on for weeks. She really couldn't have chosen a better target if she tried.

"Hey, down there!" A new voice said from the sky, causing Pinky to chew on her mane in anger. "Has any of you seen Flitter?"

Why? Why?!? Why did you have to show up, Cloudchaser? Couldn't you have waited another minute?! Pinkie Pie was beside herself with anger. It had to be a jinx! But if it was, why wasn't she experiencing any weird sensations? No scratchy tail, no itchy hoof, no butterflies in the stomach... She gasped, as a horrifying thought came to mind. What if the lack of Pinkie Sense was part of the Pinkie Sense?

"I promised to show her around the Wonderbolt Academy," Cloudchaser descended to a free seat next to Derpy. "It's usually not like her to go wander off like."

"Sure," the indigo pegasus snorted. It was obvious he didn't share that opinion.

"She'll be very upset if she misses this," Cloudchaser pretended not to take notice. "Maybe you can help me search for her? Shouldn't take long."

Derpy looked at Cloudchaser, then at the blue muffin, then at Cloudchaser, then at the muffin. Without a word, she broke off a piece and offered it to her. A moment later, she offered two more to the rest of the ponies at her table. Apparently, that had the desired effect. Uncomfortable with the situation, everypony accepted the snack, examined it carefully, then – under the expectant gaze of Derpy – ate it.

Pinkie grinned. Perfect! This was even better than originally planned! Now all she had to do was wait.

“Where did you last see her?” Derpy asked once she finished eating. Her voice echoed, bringing about an awkward silence. Everypony in the vicinity stopped whatever they were doing and looked in her direction. It was impossible not to - her voice had suddenly changed into that of an opera singer, or something close. It was deep, melodic, wavy and echoing, pretty much the polar opposite of Derpy herself.

“What went wrong?” the grey pegasus asked slowly and clearly. The voice persisted. “What. Went. Wrong.” Derpy said again even slower, focusing on every word.

Yes! Pinkie Pie grinned triumphantly. The joke of her joke had had the desired effect! And the fun was just beginning! Several ponies on the street were struggling to keep a straight face. Others had just given up. Derpy herself seemed quite amused.

“Glorious muffins!” she half sang.

More laughter followed. The kind, light-hearted laughter. And yet, one pony at the table didn't seem at all pleased - Evening, or, as Pinkie Pie preferred to call him - "Sourpuss Eve".

“What the hay, are...” he began then instantly covered his mouth. His voice had changed as well, and it was far worse that Derpy's! He sounded rough, dry, gravelly - like king Sombra with a hangover.

Tears formed in the corners of Pinkie's eyes, as she desperately tried to keep herself from laughing. Must not breathe! she told herself. The joke was only half complete. There were still two more muffin-eaters unaccounted for.

"Are you guys ok?" Cloudchaser asked and cringed. She sounded like a filly that was years away from puberty. "Well," she frowned, looking accusingly at Derpy. "This is a fine mess we got ourselves into."

Too much! Simply too much! Pinkie Pie couldn't keep it in anymore! Bursting in uncontrollable laughter she rolled out of her hiding place. It was so funny that it hurt! If only she could frame this memory - the looks on their faces, their voices, the ponies all around who were rolling on the ground, pretty much like Pinkie herself.

"Best joke ever!" she managed to shout between laughs as her victims, with the exception of Derpy, glared at her furiously. "It was so worth it!" she wiped off the tears from her eyes. "Oh, so worth it!"

"Pinkie Pie!" Evening shouted menacingly, his new voice making him sound like a heavy metal singer during a solo. The effect was not lost on anypony, as a new, stronger, wave of laughter filled the air.

“Cool voice, dude!” Vinyl Scratch yelled from across the street. “You should go on tour!”

The indigo pegasus facehoofed.

“Much better than I expected!” Pinkie managed to say gasping for air, as she dragged herself up her victims' table. “You really DO sound like you’re from a pony group! Why don't you sing something?”

Cloudchaser opened her mouth to say something, but after a few moments closed it back again. Cautious she looked at the others. Evening was still sitting there, hoofs on his face, trembling in anger. Derpy, on the other hoof, was calmly finishing her muffing, as if nothing had happened. Finally there was Lyra. The unicorn had suddenly become untypically silent, an expression of dread on her face.

"Sa.." Pinkie began, her words soon frowned by her own laughter. "S..." She tried again, to no effect. Seriousness, Pinkie, she told herself. You have to see this joke through. No matter the sacrifices, you have to soldier on to the end! Think rock farm, think Trixie, think chocolateless pudding! Shivers went down her spine. She had tried chocolateless pudding once. It was when she was teaching Gummy the secrets of chocolate making. Even now she cringed thinking about the result - it was terrifying!

"Go ahead, Lyra," Evening sighed in his Sombra voice. "Maybe when the demon hears you speak, she will finally go away. If we are lucky."

"Hey!" Pinkie Pie said, although she did instantly turn towards Lyra. A bubble of silence formed, as everypony held their breath, eager to see what her voice would sound like.

"Go on," encouraged Cloudchaser. "Just get it over with."

Defeated, the unicorn took a deep breath and...

"I probably sound like a fool and..." she stopped, then blinked several times. Her voice hadn't changed in the slightest. "I don't! I sound like myself!" she let out a sigh of relief, as the pegasi, with the exception of Derpy, glared at her.

"Nah," Pinkie Pie shrugged, slightly disappointed. Her blend of joke apparently had no effect on unicorns. "Nopony's perfect." And with that she calmly hopped back into the bakery.

Difficult to say if this one was a success, she thought, as she started making a new batch of cupcakes.

"What do you think, Gummy?" she asked her faithful pet alligator. "I got four times the ponies to eat the joke muffin, which is good, but the joke didn't work on one of them, and that's bad. If I take everything into account, that's like nothing happening at all, since the joke was meant for one pony, but one wasn't affected, so that means..." she paused for a moment. "That means that nopony was affected and the joke joke was a failure. But then again it wasn't, because three ponies who weren't part of the joke got joked and..."

Not budging from his position, Gummy blinked.

"You know what, I agree!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "I'll mark this as a work in progress. I just need to figure out how to make it affect unicorns. Maybe Twilight and Rarity could help me!"

As Pinkie started to consider how to improve her joke recipe, she casually listened in on the conversation outside. With the pegasi's new voices, it wasn't difficult. Every word they spoke had the volume of a boombox.

"You know what?" the Sombra-voice asked. "I have a favour to ask."

"As long as it doesn't involve more jokes," a high-pitched filly voice said.

"Let's form a band."

Instinctively, Pinkie's ears perked up. A band? That sounded interesting. Why hadn't she thought of it?! After the Ponytones incident, it was the the first thing that should have crossed her mind. Stupid, stupid, Pinkie! You'll never get anywhere if you keep forgetting your jokes like... Oooh! What if I put some poison joke in the spa tubs? That will be the joke of the century!!! Pinkie Pie then grinned the way only she could.