Colt You Gotta Wonder

by Broman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Doctor Whooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Derpy Hooves
Length: 2889

In a case of mistaken identity, Time Turner is caught up in a chase that surrounds a mystrious mare and a pair of griffons that chase after her.

Time Turner is heading to the train station to meet his special somepony. Along the way he was bumped by a mysterious Mare, who manages to swipe his gift for his anniversary. What happens next when you involve a pair of griffons that chase after him? You get a parody of course.

Cover art was made for me by Sipioc. He is quiet the talented artist so go check him out.

This was an entry in the July 2015 Writeoff Association, Best Laid Plans.

Thanks to both Junegold and Hopeless Appraisal for the early editing and helping with the concepts of the story.

Massive thanks to Arcelia for the editing process and for making this story shine out.

Without there help this story would not have been possible.

Published 2015-08-17 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-17 22:10:01 UTC

About A Mare Like That

Bon Bon inhaled slowly as she approached the train station. The tight fabric of her coat clung to her body, hiding most of her tail, a small bowler hat covered the back half of her mane.

As she kept moving, she held her eyes forward, only to occasionally glance over her shoulder, a tingling sensation shot up her spine as she checked what was behind her. Bon Bon knew for a fact that she was being followed, and she knew that they were after what she held.

Under the safety of her trench coat, she had all the information that could possibly help them expose the rogue agency being conducted by the Griffon Kingdom. The Griffons denounced the agency months ago, but their activities are still being funded and are carried out in the utmost of discretion, to which she now had the evidence on.

Their exposure would finally defund the agency and force them to disband, finally finishing them once and for all. She just had to board the train to the Crystal Empire in order to deliver her findings.

Bon Bon disappeared into the mass crowds that had formed at the station. As she moved towards the train, she abruptly stopped in her tracks. She watched as a pair of griffons entered into the terminal. However, she kept her eyes forward and avoided their gaze.

She picked up her pace, not wanting to be seen. Yet they continued to move forward, hastily searching for their prey. Bon Bon knew that she had to find an escape route, to elude them long enough until she was on the train. As she hurried along, she accidentally bumped into a stallion, almost knocking him off balance. An opportunity presented itself and she took it without hesitation.

And she was going to have fun with it.

****

Earlier that day…

Time Turner walked briskly to the Canterlot train station. His plan was to arrive at the train station this morning, and board the train where his wife was waiting inside. She had gone ahead earlier that morning to purchase the tickets for their trip to the Crystal Empire. They had planned to arrive later that evening in time for the upcoming ball, as he moved forward, a gust of wind chilled the stallion’s coat as he walked.

Winter had just settled in a few days prior, bringing in light snow that left the stone floor’s wet and slippery. He shook the melting snow off his hat and coat, now grateful he had remembered to wear them.

Arriving at the station he was relieved to see the large Crystal train, being boarded by its final occupants. Before boarding he fiddled in his suit pocket to see if he still had his little gift, quickly sealing it back up in his suit pocket and shutting his coat from the Winter breeze. He sighed with relief as he patted his pocket, knowing his gift was for their special anniversary, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. Moving forward again, he slowly made his way through the crowd.

As he got closer to the train, he was bumped from behind but was quickly recovered by the stranger. He glanced up to see a mare with a pink and blue mane that came down the front of her face, wearing the same heavy coat as he was. She gave him a small nod and a smirk before hurrying off, not even bothering to apologize.

As he adjusted himself, he noticed a weight was missing from his suit. Frantic, he checked inside and found that his gift was missing. A sudden shout from behind caused him to turn around, staring straight into a pair of angry griffons that were running directly towards him. He turned his head to point at the mare, but she was already gone. He caught the last glimpse of her mane as she boarded the train.

He stared back at the griffons as they rapidly approached him. Fearing that he was being mistaken, he galloped towards the train, he glanced over his shoulder and saw that the griffons were nearly upon him. The train was picking up speed as he spotted a doorway in-between the carts and quickly seized it with his hoof. A pair of talons grabbed at his coat but he quickly unzipped it before he was dragged back.

The train sped away from the station as Time Turner tried to catch his breath. Recollecting himself as to what happened. Although his thoughts were not focused on the griffons at the moment, instead, they were only focused solely on the mare and why she had stolen his gift? It was a present for his most beautiful wife, a diamond encrusted necklace with a muffin at its center; he had it payed in advance to boot.

He could only imagine the horror if he were to show up empty hoofed with nothing to present to his beloved. He quickly slapped a hoof across his cheek to get a hold of himself, knowing full well he could find the perpetrator on board. Straightening his suit he headed through the doors.

Closing the entry behind him, he soon found himself in the casino cart. A shimmering array of schmoozing high class ponies gambled away their bits in games of chance. A large host of ponies were gathered at the center table, the head stallion exposed his dice to a pair of mares who blew affectionate air over his hooves.

In the back of his mind, he knew it was going to be difficult to find her. He remembered that she was an earth mare with a pink and blue mane, that detail alone was enough to narrow down his search. His plan set in motion, he slowly made his way through the pack, hoping to find his quarry without incident.

Time Turner searched around the cabin for the mare that matched his description. Several cheers came from the main gambling table, indicating that somepony was winning bits. He paid them no heed as he continued his search. After a few minutes of uneventful success, he spotted a mare sitting near the middle of the right side of the cabin. She was facing away from him and her mane had a pink and blue streaks running through it.

He rushed forward, bumping into several ponies in the process, before tapping a hoof onto the mare’s shoulder. She turned around and he immediately regretted the decision; for it was a unicorn instead of an earth pony. A firm hoof slapped across the cheek later he quickly had to rethink his approach as he searched for the elusive mare.

Unbeknownst to him or the passengers, the two griffons were flying rapidly on the side of the cart and had entered into the back of the train.

As he made his way into the middle of the cart, the snarl of a mare’s small dog spooked a nearby server, sending an array of plates and bottles into the air. Without thinking, Time Turner raised his hoof and, by some miracle, balanced the silverware on the tray. He was surprised for a brief moment as the server thanked him before taking the plate away. With a smile, Time Turner backed away but then bumped into another stallion behind him, the same stallion that held his dice.

Time Turner went to apologize but was cut off by the large stallions glare, sneering at him for ruining his game of chance. He took a nervous step back, unsure of what to do or say. A second later cheers erupted around the gambling table and the pair turned to see a lucky seven on the die roll. The high class stallion was speechless at his roll, his fellow compatriots congratulating him to no end. Time Turner simply shrugged at the lucky roll before him as the stallion gave him a small nod of appreciation.

The moment was short lived as the doorway opened up to reveal the two same griffons. They set their gaze on him as he moved further back in the cart, hoping to get out. He was at the end of the cart where ponies had their coats hanged. He jumped the table in front of him and slid several coats in front of him to hide.

He could only imagine how this day could possibly be worse, and how he wouldn’t be with his special somepony. A sudden click came from the wall as he stumbled backwards into another room, turning around he saw that three griffons were inside the secret compartment. Two were sitting down and having drinks and class, while a third griffon with a thick beard, and much larger than the previous two, was stacking a tower of cards on top of table.

When the door shut behind Time Turner, the stack of cards fell into a heap. The larger griffon turned and saw the stallion standing before him, an angry scowl spread across his face. He turned to face him but Time Turner took notice of the situation and acted upon it. He grabbed two stacks of cards, which was conveniently placed upon the table, and began his work.

The cards flew out of his hooves, stacking them into place in the middle of the table. It took precision and concentration to get the perfected shape. The bearded griffon could only stare in awe at what was being made. Not a moment later, Time Turner launched the last card outward and took a step back to admire the work. The entire stack of cards resembled the entire city of Griffonstone. The bearded griffon placed a claw over his heart, beaming with pride at the sight.

The moment was short lived as Time Turner heard voices on the other side of the door as he took off in the opposite direction. He managed to get out just as the other door opened to reveal the two griffons entering in and when the door shut back up the stack of cards fell, and a large outcry erupted from the bearded griffon.

Time Turner continued moving into the next cart, hoping to escape his pursuers. Outside, the train sped along the track as the forests passed by in a terrific blur as it slowly revealed an open snowy plain. In the distance, the mountains slowly came into view.

The next cart of the train was filled with dozens of booths, in the center aisle, an elderly stallion was busy handing out beverages to each of the train patrons.

Time Turner managed to slip by the elderly stallion just as the door opened up behind him. He distanced himself from the two as they were entangled with the stallion. A loud clanging of glass followed as the drinks were spilt all over the griffon’s feathered coats. Time Turner smiled as some more time had been bought for him.

He sped down the aisle, passing the private booths that offered only a narrow aisle. He cringed slightly as he saw that another server was up ahead, holding a large tray filled with food and several wine bottles. As he approached at a quicker pace, the door in front of the server opened up, revealing a mint green unicorn mare.

The stallion offered up the meal and asked if she would like anything else. She replied with a courteous no and encompassed the tray with a blue glow as she levitated the plate with her magic. Time Turner squeezed past the server and caught a glimpse of the mare walking towards a strange biped sitting on the bed inside.

He didn’t have time to comprehend or ponder on what he had just witnessed as he saw the two griffons turning the corner. He rushed to the next cart and quickly shut the door behind him, hoping to buy himself a little more time. He set his hoof down onto the next cart as his hooves began to slide.

He realized that he was inside a large ice cart. He slid down the ice, his legs frantically sprawling around on the floor as he continued to slid down the cart. He frantically reached for some wine carts that were nearby but he failed to reach them, continuing to flail about on the icy surface.

He reached outward again and found his hooves clasp onto a nearby ice statue, ripping both ice hooves off the sculpture. He smacked hard against the end of the wall, his hooves still holding onto the ice hooves. He shook his head and turned to see the griffons enter inside. They immediately ran inside to get him, only to slid onto the ice and crash into the wine carts, scattering bottles all over the place. As they dealt with the mess Time Turner was able to slip into the next cart.

The next cart he was in he found himself in was a live music club, where dozens of ponies were dancing to a smooth, swift jig. In the middle of the stage a young mare wearing a dazzling bejeweled dress and flowing golden mane was singing a song, with her chorus and small band picking up the beat. Near the corner, at the far end of the cart, he saw that his special somepony was sitting at the corner of the bar. She was waiting patiently for his arrival, speaking to another mare wearing a red dress.

Before going forward, he placed both the ice hooves in between the doors, jamming them in so that the griffons wouldn’t be able to enter. He turned to walk forward, only for a cream colored mare with a green dress to dance before him. He grabbed her hoof and picked her up and gave her a spin, the mare squealing with delight as she continued to dance. The move caused some of the younger ponies to cheer in his direction. It was then that his beloved mare, his special somepony, was staring at him with a sincere smile. He spotted her and smiled back and casually moved over to her.

In the back of his mind he knew he messed up, but he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to make it up to her after this. He had messed up by having his gift stolen, the one gift to make this day special, he was unsure how or if ever she would forgive him. In his mind he attempted to find any possible reason, any comprehensible solution to apologize for his failure, but he continued to pull up blank. He gave a look at her and took notice that her dress complimented her fur, making her stand out from the crowd; the sight alone made him smile.

As he soon closed the distance between them, the mare in the red dress turned to him; holding a pair of glasses with wine and Time Turner immediately recognized her. It was the same earth mare with a blue and pink mane, the very one that had bumped into him and had stolen his gift.

He now stood in front of her, the latter smiling and thinking nothing had happened. The mare gave him a quick once over before turning her gaze to the doors, where the two griffons had broken through the icy barrier. She turned to Time Turner, handed him the drinks with a thankful nod before turning away to the other end of the train. The Griffons hurried passed by the stallion, not even giving him a second glance, before passing through the crowd to follow the elusive mare.

Time Turner didn’t know what to make of it as they left the cart. His beloved calmly raised a hoof and accepted one of the glasses, as she turned her gaze to below her feet. The stallion followed and his eyes widened to see that his gift was there.

Many of the questions he had from before were diminished as sheer joy and relief rushed through his veins. He quickly brought the gift up and unwrapped it in front of his beloved. Her eyes went widened as she happily plucked the jeweled necklace to wrap it around her neck. Once finished, she gave a tearful smile.

Time Turner leaned his head in close and rubbed the mare’s nose affectionately. The music that was being played was coming to a close and the pair embraced each other, wrapping their hooves around the other so that no one could separate them.

He opened his eyes and looked out the window, the train was already on the bridge, crossing over a deep gorge as it closed the distance to the mountains. However, his gaze was drawn to something else. He watched in confusion as the same mare he met only moments ago had now leapt off the train and pulled out a parachute. The fabric opened up and revealed a pair of candies as the insignia. As he watched the mysterious mare descend down into the gorge, the band finished it’s song, with the lead mare finishing off her lyrics.

“Colt you gotta wonder about a mare like that!”

Author's Note

So in case no one knows what this story is parodying, look no further then down below.

Story notes are here.