The Ballad Of Ballast Flanks

by TheTuranic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 5865

Braving the depths of Ponyville's nearby lake, a pegasus inventor sets forth in the name of exploration and buried treasure. Things don't go quite as planned.

Crash Dive is an oddity among the pegasi. More at home in the water than in the clouds, she's had trouble finding her place in life, so when an opportunity to explore Lake Saddle presents itself she took it in both hooves. No one can fault her bravery. Only her results.

Warning - Contains scenes of inflation intended for humour.

Published 2015-08-17 14:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-17 14:20:01 UTC

Taking The Plunge

Few ponies ever realised how alive the depths could truly be. Away from the bright beaches or constant crush of waves against sand, deep down to the blue hued bottom, life there was truly alien; vibrant, chaotic, and full of life. Amid the small plateaus of rock and towers of seaweed, cast clouds of small, shimmering fish raced between larger rays. Gliding through the currents above as gigantic squid prowled among the sandy canyons, shellfish burrowing to hide from their looming shadows. Silhouetted against the glistening sunlight refracting against the water, these leviathans gracefully stalked one another, oblivious to the four legged outsider beneath them. Gazing up in amazement at her surroundings, the pegasus’ were wings unconsciously shifting in the water. Linked to the surface only by a thin lifeline and encased in a pressurised survival suit, she peered wide-eyed up into the teeming aquatic jungle overhead.

“Yeah,” Crash Dive said to herself, grinning broadly through the glass plate of her diving suit “this beats trying to throw myself at clouds any day.”

Crash Dive’s heart hammered in her chest as she spun about, trying to track the cacophony of life about her. The pegasus had taken the plunge several minutes ago, but for all her excitement she had barely moved since touching down on the lakebed. Excitedly turning this way and that trampling the sand beneath her boots, she quietly mouthed half remembered bits of information about the creatures around her.

“Solfin, Burra, Salmon” she said to herself, picking out several fish peeling away from one shoal, reciting their names as she recognised them. Not that she could have ever failed to recognise and name one one. Crash Dive had spent so many long afternoons cooped up in the Golden Oak Library that many illustrations from those tomes were permanently etched into her mind. Yet for all the detailed sketches, all the information she had raveningly consumed, nothing could truly compare with seeing them in the flesh. Well, seeing them in the flesh without struggling for air. The brief glimpses she’d gotten while repeatedly tumbling out of the sky and splashing into the lake didn’t exactly count.

One of the larger rays swooped in low, gliding between the stalks of seaweed and almost directly over Crash Dive’s head. It passed close enough to see the minute scars and scratches across its rubbery surface and every detail of its tails. Wait, tails!? Hoisting herself up onto her hind legs she squinted after the giant as it drifted into the distant blue haze of water. One, two, three, yes, three! That had never in any of the books! Tingling in excitement, Crash Dive’s eyes widened as she watched it disappear. “Five minutes down here and already a new find,” she breathed, inwardly cursing the fact no camera would work submerged in water “just think what I could do in a full day.”

Caught up in the moment, Crash Dive was only dimly aware of her suit hissing and creaking as it adjusted to the water pressure, or the heavy weighted saddlebags pinning both wings to her sides. Following the months of testing and training, modifications and upgrades, the only thing she would have noticed by now was the feeling of water against her coat. That or suddenly being dragged back up to the surface tail first once again. Shaken very briefly from her wonderment, Crash Dive shot an almost accusing look back at her hindquarters, as if expecting them to balloon up at any moment. After all the nonsense that had plagued the Equine Underwater Survival Suit Mk. IIb, that was one experience she didn’t want to repeat in public; least of all to give everypony the excuse to start calling her ‘ballast flanks’ all over again. Crash Dive paused, cheeks burning red at the memory, coughing slightly at the thought of it happening again. Perhaps it was best to focus on the here and now, at least until she’d brought back something to truly eclipse the stories of her floating over Ponyville. Not that she would need to look hard.

Visible even among the swarms of fish, it towered up before Crash Dive, its derelict form preserved even after all this time. Looming up in the water, its brightly-hued hull still shining in the half light, and torn sails billowing in the water, was the broken remains of a galleon. Larger than even the town hall, it almost looked ready to sail again were it dug up. Only a single massive hole torn open upon its underside showed any sign of true damage, split open and leading into its main hold. Upon its prow in shining brass, as bright as it had been upon its launch, was its name: HMS Friendship.

Before the rail network, before the express had been founded to travel to all four corners of Equestria, the rivers had been the main route to quickly ferry cargo. Built to fulfil out that role, the Friendship had been tasked with carrying anything too tiring for pegasi to heft across the kingdom. Sailing between Canterlot and Ponyville as needed, it had eventually disappeared within a furious tempest, never to be seen again. Or so the moulding history books she had skimmed through had stated. With Saddle Lake being almost twice as deep as it was wide, Crash Dive wasn’t surprised no pony had found it before now. Her own initial discovery had been one of dumb luck rather than skill, accidently crashing so deep into the lake she had caught sight of the flag atop its mast. It had been quite the task keeping the discovery to herself while trying to find out what ship bore the twin alicorn symbol of a crescent moon over the sun.

Now it was all hers, this long lost bit of history and whatever it might have sunk with. The pegasus’ grin grew wider as she peered up in amazement, giddily thinking of what might have been left aboard. Treasure? Perhaps some old magical artefact of ages past? Oh! Something of Princess Celestia’s, or even Luna’s, if she were lucky!

Half bouncing half trotting as she pushed against the current, Crash Dive hurried towards the ship. She didn’t need much now, just enough, just something to prove that she had found the ship and bring it back. Assuming she could actually see anything in there. Passing into the Friendship’s shadow and beneath its green age-tinged underside, the pegasus came to a stop at the threshold of the gap. Within the vessel’s hold, she was greeted by near total blackness. Beyond a few hoofsteps inside illuminated by the sunlight from the surface far, far above, Crash Dive could make out little to nothing. Nothing save for one object on the very edge of her vision. A treasure chest? Difficult as it was, as she squinted there was a faint outline which could be made out. Angular, edges, metal corners, curved lid; surely it had to be one. A little rusty looking to be sure, but it seemed to be intact.

Carefully giving one last look about, she hurried inside for her prize, passing beneath the decaying planks. Yet just as she took steps toward the chest, something inside the hold moved. Crash Dive paused, blinking a few times. As she planted down another boot against the wooden interior, it moved again. It was barely visible. Just a slightly lighter, pale shade of grey amid the black, and it was big. At least as big as Crash Dive herself. The pegasus’ smile faltered as it moved again, and she thought she could see a pair of semi-luminous eyes bobbing at the far end of the hold. Eyes which looked remarkably pony-like, if anypony’s eyes were capable of glowing pale blue. As if to confirm her fears, a small shoal of terrified minnows hurtled out of the darkness, fleeing past her.

Very slowly, Crash Dive began to edge back out of the hold, uncomfortably shivering inside her suit as some very unwanted thoughts crept into her mind. She could see no trail of air bubbles from where there might have been an air regulator, or even the jerky movements of flippers being used. Either somepony was trying to break the record for holding their breath, or whatever that was didn’t need air. It was freely moving about now, and Crash Dive almost thought she could see a shark-like fin there. Whatever it was now prowling about the hold, apparently seeking out the intruder had invaded its home.

As she watched it, looking back and forth between the chest and whatever danger was there, unwanted thoughts came unbidden into her head. The ship had been lost in a storm, hadn’t it? Lost with no one left to tell others where it had sunk, perhaps with all hands? That sounded an awful lot like how ghost stories began, the kind where adventuring pegasi in home-made diving suits were never seen again. She blanched as thoughts of ghosts prowling shipwrecks entered her mind, ruins of old ships prowled by spirits ready to drag unsuspecting ponies down to their doom. As Crash Dive’s mind came alive with old tales of terror both eyes turned about, narrowing as they fixed squarely upon where she was standing. Time to run!

Bucking forwards suddenly, the pegasus threw herself a few steps closer to her treasure. The force snapped open both saddlebag and loosed a pair of weighted ropes from within. Hurtling forwards and leaving a stream of bubbles in their wake, they slammed into the chest, locking into place about it in a loop.

“Stop!” a voice bellowed, echoing about the ruined vessel as the eyes surged forwards in the darkness, bearing down on the submersible pegasus.

“Nope!” Crash Dive yelled, spinning in place and galloping out of the hold as fast as she could, the chest skittering behind her as it tore up a cloud of sand in its wake.

Pulling with all her strength, the pegasus raced for open water, not daring to look back. She just needed to get clear, just run, stay ahead of whatever nightmare she had disturbed, and get to the surface somehow. Yes, that was all. So focused upon her escape, Crash Dive failed to see where her pillaged loot was skittering about behind her. Twisting in the water, the heavy strongbox followed the pegasus as it jerkily slid about after the diver, right into the splintered planks of the hull. Slamming into the edge of the hold, it careened to one side, sticking fast.

Still fleeing, Crash Dive failed to notice the ropes becoming increasingly taut. Stretching for a few moments as she slowed to a standstill, her boots digging grooves into the sand as she reached the end of their tether, it abruptly snapped back. With a shriek of terror, Crash Dive momentarily flailed in the water as she was yanked back toward the shipwreck. With a loud thud echoing through the brass metal of her helmet, she was slammed into the sand, sticking fast. Pain shot up both of her hind legs as she felt something clamping down upon them, holding her in place. Frantically peering about, trying to pull herself free, the pegasus caught a glimpse of sand outside her visor where her lower half had previously been. A cold chill shivered down Crash Dive’s spine as the truth dawned upon her. She had been yanked back so hard that she had been driven into the sand like a tent peg, completely immobilised just in front of the wreck. Very slowly she looked up. Hanging in the darkness just overhead were the same luminous eyes, gazing down at her prone form and drawing closer. Bracing herself, waiting for whatever fate it had in store for her, she gave one futile push as it closed in.

“Are you real?”

Crash Dive blinked. Not quite what she had expected it to say.

“Um, w-what?” she stammered, twisting back to peer up at the eyes.

Both blinked back at her, looking more confused than even she was. Crash Dive was lost for words. Peering up in complete astonishment she watched as the owner of those eyes drifted forwards into view, revealing a distinctly turquoise equine face which was more concerned than angry. Swimming forwards, the stranger circled around to Crash Dive’s front to get a better look at her, tilting his head in curiosity. Not exactly the spectral dweller of the depths her mind had conjured up for her. Just an oddly scaly looking but otherwise normal pony. One who could speak underwater it seemed. And breathe perfectly fine down here. And, as he swam out into the open water, had the lower half of a fish.

“You’re real aren’t you?” he said again, more excited than angry, leaning in close and looking at her intently, rapping against the brass helmet “this isn’t some trick, you’re actually breathing air in there! And-and are those wings?!”

Zooming about, to her left, the newcomer disappeared from sight. A second later Crash Dive felt something reaching under her saddlebags and yanking hard on the rubber about her feathers. Yelping at the sudden flare of pain, Crash Dive winced.

“Yes, I’m real, and so are those, thank you!” she exclaimed, yanking them out of the stranger’s grip and hugging them close to her sides. Not exactly the most polite sea dwelling pony either, even if he had dropped the doom bringing booming voice.

“Ah, uh, sorry.” He gave a sheepish grin, swimming back into view again “it’s just that… wow. Didn’t think I’d ever see one of you all the way down here! Normally the best I get is somepony skimming the surface or hovering overhead. Is this a kind of test to help you fly? Are you wearing this ridiculously clunky getup to avoid your feathers getting wet?“

He trailed off as Crash Dive’s confused expression took on an apocalyptic quality.

“Ah, I uh, ah. Just forget that then, starting over, I’m Depth Charge. The guy whose stuff you just roped up and tried to drag out of his house. Do you want a hoof getting free?”

Crash Dive didn’t answer at first, just glaring up at him. She could take many insults and jab, however unintentional they might have been, but mocking her inventions? That was just going too far. Pressing both hooves against the sand, Crash Dive strained as she fought to tear herself free, ready to give whoever this was a true piece of her mind. This went about as successfully as one would expect, and she gave up after only a few futile seconds. Then again, he had just offered to help her right after she had – albeit unwittingly – tried to rob from him.

“Yes, please,” she said sighing offering an apologetic smile, calming down “The name’s Crash Dive. Sorry for trying to pinch your stuff. I didn’t actually know anypony was living down here, even a…”

“Seapony” Depth Charge said, finishing the sentence for her. giving a wave of his tail. “Yeah we’re pretty far from the sea, but lakepony just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

Now that was unexpected. Crash Dive had heard stories of them, of ponies suited to the water and calling it home. Like so many things, any details about them she had stemmed from musty old tomes, and for all her enthusiasm she’d never expected to actually see one before. They weren’t that uncommon, just rarely seen, but she’d never even heard of one settling in a lake before.

Hooking his own forelegs about Crash Dive’s, Depth Charge dropped in the water before jerking backwards, trying to yank out the pegasus one inch at a time. “And really, it’s no issue. That stuff’s just junk anyway, lots of useless bits left over by whoever owned this thing first.”

“Oh, just junk?” Crash Dive answered, her shoulders slumping, before briefly perking up again “wait, do you mean bits or bits?” she asked. Not quite a long lost heirloom of Princess Celestia or priceless magical amulet but hey, treasure was treasure! Perhaps if she were very lucky, it might even be somehow still usable. They didn’t go out of date at all, did they? Depth Charge just looked at her in confusion.

“Round shiny things” he corrected, yanking hard again “gold and silver mostly. Not worth half a doubloon though. Pretty useless to us folk, unless they can be used on the surface to get a pair of those.” He leaned over, nudging one of Crash Dive’s wings again, the compressed air causing them to squeak loudly.

“Oh. Why?” Crash Dive said frowning.

“Why what?”

“Why would you want wings? You’ve certainly got it better down here than up there.” Releasing a hoof from Depth Charge’s grip, she gestured at the ship and teeming life about them “There’s nothing like this up in the sky. A few birds, the odd dragon if you’re lucky but it’s really just one big empty nothingness.”

The seapony gave her a look of utter disbelief.

“Sure, if you don’t mind being stuck there all your life. The rivers only go one way and sea salt doesn’t exactly agree with us freshwater types. You lot? You can see the whole world with a couple of flaps of your wings.” Giving one last tug on her legs Depth Charge drifted back, scratching his mane “You’re well and truly wedged in there aren’t you.”

“Uh, yeah. Any other ideas?” Crash Dive asked, slowly wriggling both legs as she tested the sand. Given all the misfortune she’d gone through so far today, they might have at least gotten lucky enough for the pegasus to free herself. As she moved however, Crash Dive suddenly felt the pressure on her legs increase and dropped another few inches into the sand. Or perhaps not. It seemed as if she was going to be stuck here for a while then. Sighing, she eased herself down onto the sand trying to get comfortable. Looking up, she caught sight of Depth Charge staring at her curiously, before abruptly stopping and trying to intently at the water over her head.

“You’ve really not seen a pegasus up close like this have you?” she giggled, wondering if all of his kind were like this, and privately hoping he wouldn’t mind her returning the look.

“I-uh-no, not really,” Depth Charge said, looking at the lakebed as he started flushing red “it’s just I didn’t know you could do that. Is that something all pegasi are capable of? Become all squishy when you get frightened I mean.”

“I-what!?” Crash Dive answered, her mouth hanging open as she tried to tell if he was making some kind of bad joke. Squishy!? Of all the things he could possibly say what on Equestria would make him think that!? Then she heard the sound of rubber creaking loudly, pinging as it was stretched wider and wider. The pegasus froze and then very slowly looked down at her forelegs.

Rather than the expected slightly loose sleeves and boots of tough rubber, Crash Dive was greeted by what looked like a pair of inflated balloon animals. Pulsing with compressed air, each one was swelling up to several times its size, squeaking and hissing with air as they gradually expanded. Already both of her boots resembled yellow spheres and she could barely see the join where they plugged into her suit. As she tried to lean down though, Crash Dive quickly realised it wasn’t just her legs which were the problem. Pushing forwards, the lower half of her visor was abruptly engulfed by a thick puffy wall of dark rubber. Either somepony had let Pinkie Pie near her air pump again or something was going very wrong with her pressure regulation.

“…That’s not normal is it?” she heard Depth Charge’s voice from somewhere close by, most likely just above her.

“No, no it’s not,” Crash Dive answered, half yelling to try and ensure he heard her from somewhere within the expanding ball of rubber her diving gear had become. She could only imagine what it must look like from outside, some vast ballooning beach ball with a few protruding limbs and an odd valve. Stopping, she mentally ticked off her usual checks. Pressure regulation? Hard to tell but it seemed to be fine. Air valve? Both sounded like they were working. It wasn’t her weights, though she had the feeling the only reason she wasn’t bobbing upwards was thanks to her hind legs being stuck.

Oh. Right. Well, there was her answer.

Tentatively, Crash Dive tried to move again, only to feel the pressure of the sand increase once more. Yep, no air getting in there any time soon. The pump on the surface was still pushing down air at the same rate, but now it was being crammed into half the space. The result? A rather balloony pegasus. That and possibly the key to her freedom.

“Um, Depth Charge?” she called out, pursing her lips as she readied herself for something truly ridiculous. “This is going to sound strange, but how good are you at hugging?”

An understandably lengthy silence followed this, filled only by the hiss of air and the current created by a few nearby fish.

“What.” Depth Charge answered flatly.

“I need you to squeeze down hard as you can on my suit” Crash Dive answered, trying to quickly reword her phrasing into something a sane pony might say. “If you force the air downwards, it might be able to free my back legs.”

More silence, but then Crash Dive felt something latch onto her bulbous front. Trying chuckle at his newfound friend’s predicament, Depth Charge began to press down atop the expanding suit. Momentarily tugging her head out of her helmet and down into the belly of her expanded gear, Crash Dive could see the outline of the seapony. Flattening himself out against the rubbery bulbous mass, both forelegs were extended to his sides and squeezing inwards. Pushing inwards, forcing the material to bend again and again, Crash Dive could only watch with a sinking heart as the elasticity of the rubber bounced him back at every turn.

“Oh, Leo help me” she heard him mumbling after several minutes, and then growing quieter as he seemed to move away. “This isn’t working. Crash Dive? Give me a sec’ to try something different.”

Crash Dive didn’t answer, waiting to see what the solution the seapony had planned. Immobile as she was, the pegasus was just about ready to try anything which might possibly worked. Well, so long as it didn’t involve sharp objects. Just as usual overactive imagination started to conjure up images of Depth Charge using one of the rays to pop her open, something slammed into the pegasus’ ballooning front with the force of a cannon shell.

With an abrupt FWOOPH of air being punched out of her belly, Crash Dive felt herself being yanked up and out of the sand, tumbling in the water before drifting gently upwards. With her head spinning from the experience, she could feel the air rushing back and forth from one end to the next. With each end of her suit expanding and deflating like a bellows as she spun head over tail upwards through the water, Crash Dive slammed her eyes shut, waiting for it to end. Whatever Depth Charge had tried clearly worked. The only issue now was making the world stop spinning around and about, before the remnants of last night’s hayburger decided to re-emerge inside her air tight gear. Awkwardly failing her stubby legs to try and gain balance in the water, Crash Dive abruptly stopped as something latched onto her hoof, tugging her down. Oh please don’t be something carnivorous. Gingerly opening one eye, she slumped in relief, looking into the nervously grinning face of Depth Charge rather than the serrated maw of some shark.

“Eh-heh, might have overestimated how stuck you were. Sorry.” He said, the seapony’s tail swimming hard to try and keep her in place.

Crash Dive groaned, shaking her head clear for a few moments. As she did, the pegasus realised the lake seemed to have changed a little after being catapulted skywards. For one thing, the hazy distant fathoms she’d had trouble making out before were suddenly far clearer. They also looked a lot like the lakebed. And that looked a lot like the chest, still hanging from her ropes, now suspended in the water with a few loose planks clinging to its lid.

“Am-am I upside down? Wait, why am I upside down!?” Crash Dive exclaimed, looking back behind her and seeing a very different kind of swollen suit. From her midriff down to the stubby extrusions which were once her legs, the pony was ballooned up into a single squeaking, exaggerated mass of her hindquarters. Each flank of her suit had swollen almost to the size of Cherry Berry’s balloon, jiggling in the water as the oxygen inside moved in time to the current. Each one seemed to wobble in excitement, reacting to even the slightly movement in the water. Bouncing as they were, the pegasus could feel both of her hind legs pulled apart, her entire lower half immobile and suspended the wrong way up in this ballony prison.

“Tried to live up to my name, swam back and hit you full pelt” Depth Charge admitted, making every kind of apologetic expression he could without letting go of her foreleg. “Just might have overdone it. Possibly. Probably. Um, sorry.”

Rocking gently in the current, Crash Dive sighed. Now, atop of everything else so far, she had to deal with the second coming of ‘ballast flanks’; just when she thought she might have finally kicked that curse for good.

“It’s fine Depth Charge,” she said with a resigned sigh “really. Better this than feeling like somepony had just jammed my legs in a vice. I’m just glad you caught me before anypony else saw this.” She blinked as a thought occurred to her “no one else saw this, did they?”

“Not unless you count them” Depth Charge chuckled, pointing up towards her hindquarters, where a number of smaller fish had paused, apparently ogling the bizarre sight. Then, as quickly as it started, his grin suddenly faded “Ah.” He said more to himself than Crash Dive, looking at something just behind her “Well, the good news is that this thing’s not getting any bigger, the bad news... This suit of yours is supposed to be water right? Only there’s a lot of bubbles coming from that bit.” He pointed to somewhere just behind her.

Crash Dive felt the colour drain from her face. A leak either meant one of two things – An overabundance of air or trouble dealing with the water pressure. Either way, if it wasn’t dealt with she was about to be very cold, very wet and with no diving suit.

“Can you see it? Can you quickly plug it up?” she asked desperately, twisting this way and that in his grip, trying to pick out where he was pointing to.

“Think so, just hang on there” Depth Charge answered slowly, carefully holding her in place with one hoof, then reaching up to somewhere just out of sight. Crash Dive didn’t hear anything at first, and then there was a slight click from the back of her helmet. Oh no. No, surely he hadn’t.

“Um, Depth Charge?” she asked nervously looking back at him, the growing pressure already telling her all she needed to know “just where was that ‘leak’ exactly?”

“Just on your helmet, right on the back of it” he answered, clearly oblivious to any harm he might have caused “it’s okay though, there was just this small bit knocked out of place. I just pushed it back in.”

Oh sweet Celestia, he had done it. Bracing herself, Crash Dive felt both ears pop as her entire diving suit began to expand outwards, her belly quickly engulfing the pegasus’ front. Pushing out through her legs as she feebly tried to supress it, she felt a number of her weights tear free; each pinging off of her rubbery outfit in a shower of metal, canvas and iron.

“That was the release valve!” she moaned, feeling the pressure about her building up, her suit hissing louder and louder as her front expanded to match her bloated rear. “Quick! Please! Pull it back out!”

With an expression of mortified horror at his mistake, Depth Charge shot up past her, releasing her foreleg, reaching for behind her helmet. There wasn’t much point keeping her pinned down now after all. Even with her salvaged goods hanging precariously below her, it had been taking seemingly all his strength to keep her balanced out before. With the additional oxygen, he would have had as much success keeping her in place as a parasprite would against an ursa major.

“It’s stuck, I can’t do anything!” came the plaintive response from above before Depth Charge zoomed back into view, panic written across his features.

“Is there anything you can do, anything at all that doesn’t involve a pin?” she urged, already seeing the light shining down from above. They were just meters from the surface now.

“Uh, possibly?” he looked between her now vast form and himself “we don’t quite have magic you do. None of that fancy flight or moving objects about with horns, we can just change one gas to another. But I’ve never tried using it on anything as big as you- your suit!” he quickly corrected himself.

Huh. Now that was a weird ability, but at this point anything was worth a shot. Both Crash Dive’s front and rear were almost entirely spherical. Each of her leggings and wing pouches had been pulled inwards, suspending her amid a globe of gas within her gear. It was only by some small miracle that her helmet had somehow stayed on its exterior, and her head in it. What was the worst that could happen now? Readying herself for whatever might follow, Crash Dive nodded.

Pressing both hooves against the taut surface of her diving gear, Depth Charge closed his eyes. The edges of his fins pulsed with a pale blue light as raw magic coursed through his body. Then as quickly as it began it ended, just as Crash Dive felt her aft splashing up through the waves, hitting open air.

“Did it work?” he asked nervously “what happened? is it a heavier gas, anything we can use to get you back down here?”

Crash Dive sniffed for a few seconds, trying to pick out what he had turned the oxygen in her suit into. She was still receiving air from the pump at least, so nothing truly bad was about to happen any time soon. Or so she thought.

“I don’t know, this seems a little odd“ she started, speaking in a squeaking in a high pitched voice, barely audible on pony hearing, before recognising the smell. Helium. Of all the gasses Depth Charge might have turned it into, it just had to be that one didn’t it. Bobbing against the waves, she began to feel herself rising higher and higher, lifting up in the water then tugged out of it entirely. Failing uselessly about the interior, she could hear the quiet plinks of water droplets scattering across her suit’s expanded form as it began to rise into the skies overhead. Oh, and this day started so well. She was about ready to just risk it, have Depth Charge unscrew her helmet and vent the suit before anypony noticed; then she heard laughter. It was difficult to make out as the waves sloshed about Crash Dive, the sound amplified within her overinflated gear, but there was no mistaking it.

As she was finally drifted free of the waves entirely and streams water cleared from her visor, the pegasus caught sight of a small crowd gathered on the jetty around her air pump. Given the chairs it looked as if they’d been there for some time, just waiting for this to happen. The wreck belonged to someone else, and now everypony had yet another story to keep teasing over, keep thinking she was a joke. Great, just great. Was there nothing she could actually do right?

“Friends of yours?” Depth Charge emerged from the water, nervously sticking his head just above the surface and looking about. “They seem to be happy to see you. Wait, are there other pegasi among them, could you convince them to come talk to me as well? Please?”

Well, perhaps there was one thing she could do right, even if it wasn’t for herself.

“Think you can quickly dump out all those useless bits?” she asked, a slow smile spreading across her face.

As the crowd watched the submersible pegasi rising higher and higher into the air, slowly beginning to lumber towards the jetty, a second figure became visible. Suspended by two thick ropes latched about an open casket splashing with water, a single turquoise figure could be seen. Despite crammed into his tight environment, barely large enough for anypony to comfortably fit inside; he seemed to nothing short of ecstatic. Cheering, yelling excitedly and waving to the crowd, he rocked about, as if seeing the true scale of the world for the first time.

Nestled, still immobile amid her hovering suit, Crash Dive couldn’t help but laugh as well as she watched the seapony’s reactions. Fame? Fortune? A shipwreck all to herself? Those could wait. No matter what she’d lost today, no matter how much longer people would keep calling her ‘ballast flanks’ for, perhaps just one act of friendship could make it worthwhile.

Besides, there was nothing to actually stop her ever going back and just hovering up those bits they just dumped overboard, was there.

Author's Note

This was a story of many firsts. First stab at writing anything pony related, first attempt at fan-fiction set in another universe, and the first time trying to produce a story in a burst over two days or so.

Truth be told this was a fairly experimental story as well, changing around a few ideas as things went along and undergoing quite a large re-write on the second day. Overall it honestly could have been a lot better. Too much stream of consciousness, not enough solid characterisation, and too one note. Still, better to type it up and put it online than get stuck in the cycle of never being satisfied with any results, no matter how lackluster my writing usually is.

Special thanks to the ever awesome The-Furry-Railfan for helping inspire the story, developing the ideas and rounding off a lot of the concepts behind the characters. Look his stuff up for some great art (expect to see thumbnails of that in later tales) and a couple of ongoing Fallout Equestria sagas, they're more than worth a read.
Special thanks also to Pablote for further feedback, suggestions and ideas.

It's thanks to these two that this tale is even remotely readable.