Highway to infamy

by Casual Reader

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1416

Mercenary goes to Equestria and be back home. No friendship allowed.

Oleg is a serious man. Trustworthy mercenary, has only one job. Just one. But ponies happened. And they don't understand he wants nothing from them.

Because of that, he's now Equestria's most terrifying enemy beating Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis and Tirec together. Because, you know, he wants to be left alone.

Published 2015-08-20 04:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-20 04:20:01 UTC

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Mission #19765/943

Entry #1

My therapist said it would be good to write this log with a more personnal approach. And, because of terms signed, there are people who need to read it. So, here it goes.

My name is Oleg. I'm a mercenary who would rather do risky transportation and rescue missions than fighting an actual war. Doesn't mean I have no weaponry and ammo and no knowledge of how to use it. And I don't like alcohol. Don't drink on years. Cause really bad things. And I'm visiting my little daughter when I'm finished here.

For the new readers, welcome to this little space of my privacy. I'm going to explain some more things here. My contractors are the Earth Combined Military Forces. They are currently pushing back invaders nearby this moon base, far away from Earth. These invaders are one of the many we have to deal with, together with many other races and species who we help keeping the relatively peace on this universe. The name of the moon is [01101101011011110110111101101110].

Yes, universe. Ours is like a Nexus, being linked with every other on existance. You may find this cool, but we don't. Mainly because every faction of phantasy, game, RPG, whatever, have their own real universes. And they too are linked to us. The current invaders are now Zerg and Tyranid, I think. Too busy killing them with fire and giant space bug spray cans to care.

I have a white space ship, called "Negligible Elephant". It's complete with a fully stocked living room, and the essential living facilities - I spent most of my time here, of course I'd transform it on my little home. Right now, just verified the parameters of my mission - being mailman for Command and send things back to Earth.

You noticed I'm writing this entry on a informmal manner. I'm a professional who likes to get things done and don't talk much. Get out, do your job, come home. Simple. Don't let this log influence you about that.

There's some good things about the Nexus. I have on my arsenal some bolters (both normal and heavy versions), katanas, a BFG and the Unmaker, and a crowbar. The bolters and the crowbar are good stories.

The crowbar came from a universe in which had this guy, middle age, pale, g-man type. Came in to Nexus, tried to manipulated reality here, and took a bolter to the face. Yes, We can detect, interact, counter, create and eliminate this kind of warping effects. The Negligible even has a force field capable of withstanding magic attacks and many other things.

Well, except that time with Cthulhu. That was awful.

The bolters came after we "convinced" a heavily armed Inquisitorial team to leave us alone, with the company of our own heavily armed soldiers and allies. What a shame, losing so many Titans and super soldiers like that... Oh, those power suits came too. After we cracked the technology, they started to being mass produced with possibility of complete personalisation of every little thing.

And them some of those soldiers stole a sword of one of our commanders. I remember they were red.

Bloody magpies...

To end the explanation, I'm not using hiperdrive, warp travel and things like that. We use a tech similar to the one you find on the ship of that game, "Descent". Except that it has a regenerative tech on the engines and everything. And, as a fuel, we use Phlebotomum. The substance was discovered when were struggling with the travel technology. Them came Phlebotomum. And the applied Phlebotomum solved everything.

And the long-distance travels? We use one of this universes as an anchor. Courtesy of a"friendly" talk with that g-man guy before the bolter met him.

Entry #2

Ready for the trip. In order for this to become more dinamic, my helmet is going to feed this log with video and audio.

"Are you ready, Oleg? We can't afford delays." Command said.

"I'm ready. Start the teleporter."

The transport ring started glowing. And them, nothing.

The ship rocked a bit, and ended on a obscure place. The computer gave the information I was on the outskirts of a forest. Agressive fauna and flora nearby. That's ok, I had my power armor with me.

Current location: Equestria, Everfree forest

That's a little worrying, but still ok.

Ship status: Drive not sucessful. Repair system initiated.

Time for engine repair: 2 days.

...right. I still can go to my daughter's presentation.

Xeno lifeforms detected.

Ok, maybe that's not so ok.

Entry #3

Well, here they are, a group of six little horses.

Because the universes used as anchors need tobe somewhat stable, this was one of them. And we already knew the so-called "Mane 6".

A purple inquisitive pegasus unicorn, an ignorant rainbow-maned cyan pegasus, a pink anomaly, a hard-headed orange little horse (refuse to call anyone there "pony" or "alicorn"), a narcisitic white unicorn, and a pathological shy yellow little horse.

They saw me through my cockpit, and the purple one tried contact. I ignored. She became angrier, and tried again. I ignored. Them, the cyan lifted a little rock. I put the forcefield on. The rock flew, and returned to the head of the cyan, knocking her out cold.

They were shocked. And, oh no you aren't.

The orange one lifted her hind legs, ready to damage the hull of the now barely negligible white elephant on the forest.

I exited the ship, armed, and shot at the ground near her. Taken back by such show of gratuituous violence, they reunited, under the command of the purple, lifting on the air and, with their white eyes, shot me with a multicolored bean.

My armor made sure I held ground, while everything was put on the front shields, both from my armor and my ship. When it was over, there I was, with a look that said "Was that really necessary?"

They said something, flaggerstabed, and the purple one,with a flash of light, vanished, together with everyone else. For my part, since the night was starting to fall, I went back to the Negligible, activate the forcefield after sealing the locked doors, and got ready to finish the day.
The purple one said something to me before vanishing. Transcription goes as follows:

"What have we done to you? Why are you being so evil to us? We've done nothing against you, and yet, you attacked us! Oh, the Princess shall know about this! You will not get away!"

Yep, that was a little worrying.

Oh well, nothing I could have done. Good night.

Entry #4

I was awakened by the muffled sound of various things hitting the force shield. Upon starting a radar scan, the computer buzzed to life:

"Multiple hostile xenos detected. Armed. Multiple xenos dead from ricochet effect of force shield"

Greeat. Another alien species to torment our poor Nexus. Oh, please, try to come in on false "revenge". You would be surprised, very surprised.

After completing my hygiene rituals, together with a healthy breakfast, I got inside my armor, and went out to greet the locals.

"YOU, MONSTER! YOU MURDEROUS MONSTER! WHY DID YOU KILL MY LITTLE PONIES? THEY'VE DONE NOTHING AGAINST YOU! BUT NOW YOU'LL PAY" said in unision two winged unicorns of the size of horses.

I just looked at them and, deciding it was too much trouble, went back to the ship, re-sealed it and the force field was strong again.
Just a side note: under attack, my suit can go though the force shield, but not advisable.

Looking at the monitors on the cockpit, during the assault of the little horses, the repairs were completed.

"Time to go home", I said, while pressing a button.

With a flash of bright light, the Negligible Elephant vanished, much to the consternation of two very angry horses.

Entry #5

Well, just delivered the mail. Just another normal day for someone of the Nexus. Now, I'm off to see my daughter. Cheers!

Author's Note

Hello.

This is my first try with fanfic. Ah, first time trying to write something like this in truth.

Comments and suggestions are appreciated. I don't know if I'll write more stories. The idea for this one was pestering me for around a year now.

Please, comment on any typos. English isn't my first language, and I would like to have left here a somewhat good written text.