The Ponyville Rave

by Spatz44-7

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 1532

Pinkie Pie having a party seems like it could be the simplest fic ever. At least, it would be if these were the characters you knew! So experience the account of a party through the eyes of Twilight in a world different from the one we know!

When Pinkie plans a rave all seems normal until you see the main 6 ponies are, different. So read a story about a world where Twilight hates her friends. Applejack is a drunk, rarity is Celestia's prized student, and Rainbow Dash is a pimp. So I hope you enjoy this fic and if you do not please say why!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-17 06:57:20 UTC

Ponies 4 No Reason

Twilight was doing, what else? Reading! It was an especially good book and the plot twist was just rearing its ugly head over the waves of the sea of logic. When all of a sudden she heard a noise, being accustomed to most of the noises one could hear living in a library this one was different. It was "strange" At least until rainbow dash bursted through the wall NEXT to the door mind her. "Rainbow, will you tell me what on Celestias sun baked Earth are you doing crashing through my wall, again?" The purple librarian pony said in a rather annoyed voice.

"You know! The usual, flying around at high speeds making all the other pegassi feel like the chumps they really ate behind the spitballs, the hazing, and the rape..." Rainbow said attempting to pull a chunk of wall out of her left ear. "Though today I actually had a purpose for crashing in on you!" She said stretching her wings.

"If you're looking for pornography you have to find Twilight SPRINKLE! Not me! Seriously Rainbow dash! I thought you'd be above that kind of thing!" She said clearly getting more annoyed by the second. Especially her being the SEVENTH pony she'd had that conversation with. That week!

"Heck no! Who do you think I am! If its about that whole "meme" thing I..." The blue pegasus explained self consciously. "The reason that I am here is to tell you Pinkie is having a rave tonight!" She said excitedly.

"After the last one?" Twilight said with an audible groan. "I probably never engaged in more illegal activities in one night in my life! (Living in Ponyville, Wink!)" Twilight said.

"No! Not like the last one, this'll be different! We also need you! Thats why I was sent here!" Rainbow explained, " its important to have a stickler like you there so the stallions can have something to apply," look don't touch" to!" Rainbow told her. "Without something to desire we're down at least, (Rainbow counts all the stallions in ponyville) 7 ponies!" Rainbow told her. "You know how pinkie gets when she's down ponies!" Twilight took a moment to remember the horror that was the pinkamenus genocide, happily carried out by none other than pinkamenus diane pie herself!

"The bodies! So many bodies!" Twilight thought to herself. " Fine! I'll go! if only to prevent the trial and execution of everyone's favorite bipolar psychopath." She told Rainbow Dash who was obviously reveling in the moment she convinced Twilight of something!

"Well, farewell! Or Dasvadinya or whatever you prefer! Rave's at 7:16!" Rainbow yelled as she flew away to most likely physically and verbally abuse Fluttershy...

It was 7:16, and after appreciating the time and effort put into that joke, headed to "sugar"cube corner book levitating for a night of interrupted reading. By the time she had gotten there the rave was in full swing, ponies were hoof banging, and head banging, and a bunch of other types of banging I will not describe in mass detail (immature joke for the win!) she sat down in her reserved spot and began getting back to that plot twist when the first interruption of the night trotted up to her. "Hey there Twilight! My good old resident stickler! As it turns out you caught a couple of wandering eyes!" She said in a seductive tone," you know" she said. " i have some stuff to help if you feel like..."

"No!" Twilight shouted back at her. "You and I both know the real reason I'm here, so let's just stick to that!" She said to the Pink Pony who without a doubt already had a sickening amount of calculations done in her head by now to set up the perfect date rape for her.

"Ok! Though if you change your mind, tell the waitress I sent ya!" She said before leaving Twilight to her reading. It must have been a half an hour later before she took a break to witness whatever sick new BDSM trend Rainbow Dash had forced poor Fluttershy to model that day.

"Yeah, this is the height of submissive outfits for the season! I love how the bright colorful chains contrast to the dark and sometimes disturbing yet overly cheerly phrases on the collar and assorted hoof rings bring it all together for the whole I own this look!" Rainbow Dash said while being surprisingly serious about the whole thing.

"Rainbow dash?" Fluttershy timidly squeaked, the sound mostly eclipsed by the blaring  rave speakers spouting trashy music nobody liked but they listened to anyway as to appear cool. "Could I please take this off? Its really uncomfortable and some if the stallions are getting grabby..."

"Heck no! Stupid Fluttershy, you do WHAT I say WHEN I say or else! Got it? You don't want, the alternative. Do you?" She said in a mildly threatening tone. Twilight did feel bad for her, but what could she really do? She had no influence over Rainbow Dash. If she intervened she would no doubt be subject to, bad things. She thought remembering what Rainbow Dash said earlier. So all she could do was sit there and watch Fluttershy's torment. To get her mind off things she ordered a special drink with her canterlot ID and headed out back to where Applejack usually sat. Lo and behold she was there, bottles of empty stiff cider scattered around. Ponies walking past ignoring her whines for food and bits. The world of a common drunkard. She inspected the bottle, Canterlot brand aged deluxe whiskey. The bottle and drink must have been around at least since Celestia had first banished Nightmare Moon. A very cherished not to mention expensive brand. She waved the bottle in Applejack's face hoping to stir her from her post hangover slumber. When she arose she immediately spotted the bottle and asked for it. She obviously recognized it as alcohol and Twilight bet her fanfics that Applejack knew nothing of even that single bottle's true value.

"I want you to go in there and attack Rainbow Dash, and be sure to help Fluttershy!" Twilight knew not why she was doing this for Fluttershy, most likely because fluttershy was the only friend she had that she had nothing against.

"Sure thing!" Applejack said and as she took a big swig from the bottle she rose to her hooves. For a drunkard she had a surprising amount of strength and self control. Most likely much more than many other ponies. Twilight followed her in ready to watch the chaos unfold in front of her. She heard the first kick as she was moving her book to a safe place. She turned her head to see so much blood on the floor she believed Pinkie DID snap again. Though she quickly assessed it to one of Rainbow's mythical nose bleeds. Which were a sight to behold. Twilight watched as the drunkard and the pimp exchanged blows, blood gushing teeth flying tensions rising. Before she knew it the little rescue had turned into a full on riot! Twilight ducked outside to see Fluttershy taking off that insane outfit.

"Thanks Twilight" Fluttershy said with a smile.

"How did you?" Twilight stammered.

"Only Canterlot whiskey could convince Applejack to pull a stunt like that!"

"You're welcome!" Twilight said feeling an odd sense if well being.

As they said their farewells and walked away, Twilight racapped over the events of the day, the good, the bad, the unlikely. She then began to approach the tree that she called home. On the doorstep she found a collection of letters, no doubt from rarity. Mocking her for ehat she couldn't accomplish. When she returned from Canterlot she was getting a black eye for sure, Celestia's prized student or not! The guard could come after her, what did she care? So she herself used to be the princesse's personal student. Then Celestia gave her the boot in favor of Rarity. She, wasn't, angry. She approached the door to her tree house and opened it, "SPIKE!" She shouted. "I'm back!" She shouted again, "IF I SHOUT THAT MEANS GET YOUR LAZY O'D'D DRAGON BUTT OVER HERE!" She shoutet, eventually he appeared in one of the doors off the main chamber.

"H h h hey, h h h how a a a a are, y" He stammered obviously incapable of talking clearly. "N n n need s s s something?" He stammered again.

"I need you to kick you're heroin addiction mr purple dragon! It is very annoying to have a smack hound assisstant! There is a reason everyone hates you!" She told him bery annoyedly.

"I i i i t t t tried!" He interjected.

"No you did not!" She said, as she walked away. She then ascended the stairs that led to her bedroom, as she layed down she knew that tomorrow would be more if the same. As she thought that she knew she hated her life, but what could she do? She decided to move on and maybe things would get better, she knew they would not. Anyway she fell asleep and began to dream.