CH.3-Discord Gives This a 2/10 on the Chaos Scale

After several moments of lingering panic, John and Liem carefully carried Cherry and Daniel inside. Or, more accurately, Cherry was carefully brought inside…Daniel, on the other hand, was scooted across the floor amidst much grumbling. His thundering snores made for a delicate instrumental to the bizarre scene.

Liem set Cherry down onto the couch, staring at her desperately. Eli remained motionless in the doorway while John turned his glare on a
sheepish Rainbow. For a while, there was silence.

Then Rainbow shrugged and downed the remaining contents of the bottle clutched in her hoof. A small smile spread across John’s face, but it was quickly replaced by a scowl.

"What were you thinking!” he yelled, really not expecting an answer.

"And how did you drink that 2 LITRE BOTTLE that FAST!?"

To his surprise, Rainbow was still very much sober, and once she had finished her drink, she wasted no time in pointing a smirk his way.

"Ok, two questions… ‘John’. One, what is this?” She jabbed a hoof at the bottle. “It tastes like apple cider from heaven. Oh, and two, why should I care about them?” The hoof left the bottle to point towards Cherry, Liem, Daniel, and Elijah. “I don't know them and they don't know me. So big deal." John rolled his eyes and grabbed the now empty bottle from her hoof.

“One,” he began, tossing the bottle into the trashcan behind him. “This is apple cider. It’s just from the liquor store. And two, these people are my friends!" Rainbow through her forelegs exasperatedly into the air.

“So?” John walked over to a shock-rigid Eli and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“So, this human statue over here is your closest chance of finding out why you’re here and how we can get you back to Equestria." Rainbow’s pupils shrunk.

“Oh, pony-feathers…” She raced towards Eli, slamming into him before frantically waving a hoof in front of his face. He yelped.
“Wha”-

“Ooh…what… where am I?" John glanced around as Cherry sat up. She cast her gaze wildly across the room until it came to rest on Liem, who smiled in relief.

“You’re at John's place. We came here with Eli and Daniel, remember?"Cherry nodded uncertainly. “We were at the door when some...thing took the Cider. Speaking of which..." He stood up and aimed a glare at Rainbow which could have killed a cockatrice.

“Hey, you... thing, why don't you apologize to Cherry? You scared her half to death!" Eli, still slack-jawed, fixed his glasses dazedly and took a few steps backwards; clearly, he didn’t want to be involved in the imminent battle. John cringed as Rainbow’s cheeks reddened furiously.

"Hey! I'm a pegasus, thank you very much! And why would I apologize to a cherry? Those things taste horrible.” John raised an eyebrow.
" Actually, that’s the name of that girl lying on the couch over there. You know, the one that fainted because of you.”

John couldn’t help but smirk when Rainbow’s expression slipped into a state of unmistakable horror and regret. Maybe she was capable of empathy after all…

"He calls that a couch? Sweet Celestia, has he even heard of ‘style’ before? OH NO! I'm becoming Rarity! Abort mission! Snake? SNAKE? SNAAAAAAKE!…"

“Rainbow?” John asked, still smirking. Rainbow laughed giddily.

“Maybe I had a little much cider…and played a little too much Pony Gear Solid.” She shook her head before turning her gaze on Cherry, who for the most part appeared to be functioning properly. She winced at the pitiful sight.

”Oh, great. Now I feel even worse. Could this day get any better?" She hesitated before extending her wings, gliding upwards for a few moments before coming to land in front of Cherry. Her eyes promptly widened in alarm to an eye-roll from Rainbow.

"I'm sorry…Cherry. Y’know, for making you pass out, and all that mushy stuff." Cherry’s eyes brightened and surprised Rainbow with a smile. She was about to say something when all of a sudden, Liem darted in front of her. Rainbow couldn’t hold back a tiny yelp as he shoved her away.

“ Alright, good. Now explain yourself. What are you doing here, horse?” In Equestrian language, calling someone a horse was incredibly insulting so, in turn, Rainbow was steaming in anger.

"Did you just call me...a horse!?" Her eye started to twitch, "I oughtta buck you all the way to Clouds-dale, you… you... human!" Liem’s mouth fell open as Rainbow wheeled to buck him in the face.She would have succeeded if it hadn't been for John shoving him out of the way and taking the blow.

Rainbow clapped her hooves to her mouth in shock as he went soaring into the kitchen and crashed painfully to the floor. Somehow, he had avoided breaking anything.

Rainbow and Liem simply stared at him, completely stunned. Then Liem spun aggressively to face Rainbow, his features twisted by fury.

"What the hell, you stupid horse! First, you hurt my girlfriend, now you hurt my friend…why are you even here?" Rainbow scowled and pointed an accusing hoof at Liem. "It's your fault! That was meant for you. And I wouldn't have done it anyway if you hadn't called me a horse!"

The two were far too engaged in conflict to notice John getting up to rub his forehead in pain. He groaned under his breath as his eyes fell upon the scene unfolding before him. Cherry seemed worried, Dan was still asleep and Eli (who had turned into a statue again) was most likely still trying to compute the pastel-colored pony. He sighed and rubbed his temples as the arguing, and a certain Daniel’s snoring grew louder.

“Well, it looks like there's only one person that can solve this." John climbed to his feet, then stumbled over to Eli and snapped his fingers. Eli slowly flickered to life as a computer would then blinked a few times before resting his gaze on John. His glasses slipped to one side as he tilted his head questioningly.

"If you can get them to stop, I can explain everything,” John hissed desperately. No response. He groaned inwardly and shook Eli’s by the shoulders. “I’ll let you test my ears some more, then!” This instantly grabbed Eli's attention and John sighed in relief as he grinned. He slumped against the wall, ears twitching in agitation as Eli turned to face the chaos. "Hello? Everyone, can I have your attention please?" The only response he received was from Cherry, who mouthed: "You know what to do.”

Eli nodded and turned to John, his puppy-dog eyes sparkling. John glared at him in disgust.

“No,” he said flatly, shaking his head. “Not happening.” Eli nodded exaggeratedly in return and John groaned. “Can’t you do something about this?” Eli asked desperately. “Cherry seems like she’s going to faint again, Daniel’s still sleeping and if you don’t do something soon, we'll theoretically have a murder on our hands.” The puppy-dog eyes increased to full power and John almost gagged.

“Please?” Cherry mouthed from the couch. He glared at Eli for a few seconds, then relented.

"First off, the 'puppy dog eyes' don’t work on me. It’s actually pretty offensive, man. And secondly, I’ll do it…but it doesn't mean that I like it!” He stalked into the center of the room, threw his head back…and let out a roar which could have rivaled a lion’s.

Said roar was more than enough to silence Rainbow and Liem, who turned to stare at him dazedly. Breathing hard, he stormed back to the wall and slumped to the ground, allowing Eli to take the floor.

"Now that I have your attention, I'd like to address the fact that this pega"-

SNOOOORRREE.

Unsurprisingly, Dan was still asleep. Eli glared at him for a few moments before shoving a foot into his mouth; the talk had to go on.

"As I was saying, I'd like to address the fact that this pegasus is most likely a guest of John's and we must be hospitable…Liem.” Liem simply grunted and threw himself onto the couch next to Cherry. Rainbow smirked in light of her win before taking a seat on the floor. “But,” Eli continued. “I'm very certain we all wish to know why Rainbow Dash is here." Rainbow’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"How do you know my name?" Cherry hesitated before answering.

"Because you’re one of the main characters of this show we all watched yesterday." She winced as she threw a glance towards Liem. "Well, almost everyone." Liem lifted his arms skywards in exasperation and shrugged.

"Oh, well that explains why there's some weird pony following everyone everywhere with a... gadget.” John tilted his head, his sensitive ears picking up the mutinous whispers that followed: “Don't ask me how he got into Twilight and Tirek's battlefield. He’s always protected by a magic shield or something.” John raised an eyebrow "Er, nevermind.”

Eli sighed and shifted uncomfortably to face John. “So…mind telling me what’s going on here?” John rubbed his temples exhaustively. This was going to take a while.

"... And that's why we need you to find out why she's here, Eli,” he finished, a little more than ‘a while’ later. Eli nodded in understanding. Then his eyes widened and John raised a questioning eyebrow as he darted away without any explanation.

Cherry, who had been whispering to Liem through the whole of John’s speech, smirked as Liem grunted and turned to Rainbow.
"I'm sorry I over-reacted, it was dumb, I know, blah-blah-blah.” Rainbow’s eyebrow lifted skeptically but lowered when she noticed that the lump on the floor near her was resurrecting. She backed away as Dan woke ungracefully from his slumber with a yawn and a back scratch.

"Oog... Guys I just had the weirdest dream." He opened his eyes fully…to the sight of a cyan pegasus.

Everyone instantly rushed forward to save Rainbow from the inevitable doom of a fanboy but failed magnificently as Dan threw Rainbow into his arms, eyes sparkling in pure glee.
“OhmygawdItsRainbowDashRainbowDashishereinmyarms.Howisthispossible? Canyoutalk? Areanyoftheothershere? WhatsitlikeinEquestria?Doyouhaveany-"

At that moment, John took the liberty of shoving Dan onto the couch, taking Rainbow from his grasp as he did so. Rainbow, looking as though she could vomit at any given moment, collapsed on the ground. John growled and turned to face his brony friend.

"No, bad Dan, BAD! You will not go full fanboy or I swear on my 7th life you will never see that show again."At this Dan whimpered like a puppy and curled up into a tiny ball.

It would have been cute if he wasn't a man in his mid-twenties.

"Y-yes sir, I promise to be good, sir." Rainbow puffed out her wings, distinctly ruffled.
"What just happened!? First, that Dan guy was acting like my number one fan, then cat-man over here stops him and makes him cower like Winona when she pees on the rug. And did...uh, John. Yeah, that's it, John. Did John just say his 7th life? Is everyone around here completely insane?!”

Eli, blissfully unaware of Daniel’s awakening, stumbled into the room holding a chair similar to the one Twilight had (unsuccessfully) attempted to use on Pinkie in an effort to discover the roots of her ‘Pinkie Sense.’ However, this one had an unusual rune symbol etched onto the front.

‘Wait!” Cherry yelled, panicked. “That’s... John! Don't look at-" She broke off
helplessly as John stared straight at the rune, captivated.

“Fancy. Wait I want that. It's mine now. MINE." Everything was normal until John leaped into the... medieval electric-shock chair… and curled up, purring.

Everyone clearly not amused…with the exception of Rainbow who was laughing her flank off, and Dan who was still cowering on the couch, rocking back and forth like a crazy person.

"Oh come on, man, don't give into the instincts now!" Liem stormed forward and tried to pry John from the chair, whose eye (visible under the hood) had degraded into a pure black hole. "No, it's mine! MY PRECIOUS!" Rainbow descended into startled silence as a black aura started to emanate from John’s form. Even Daniel ceased his rocking. Liem stared coldly at him and mouthed the word ‘again?’ John seemed to twitch in response making Liem sigh.

Then he promptly proceeded to punch John in the face.

Rainbow stared at the scene in shock. At this point, she was questioning everyone's mentality.

”Except that fruit chick. She's cool.” She released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding as John’s normal eye, a light green one with dark slits, faded back into place. She caught the briefest flash of his other eye before it disappeared beneath his hood once again.

It was covered in duct tape.

“Okay,” she began, brimming with unanswered questions. “That might just have been the weirdest thing I've ever seen. But can we cut to the chase? I want to find out why I'm here and how to get back home!” Everyone but John gave her a cold stare. He nodded in understanding and limped out of the chair, only to collapse once again. Daniel caught him quickly and hefted him onto the couch.

“Uh, hello?”

"What's your problem?” Liem burst. “Can't you see that this guy’s hurt? Are you so stone-hearted that you don’t even feel anything?“ Rainbow, unmoved, slipped casually into the now unoccupied chair.

"I don’t have any problem. It's just that I shouldn't care if I'm going to be leaving soon anyway.” Liem scoffed and sat down on the couch between Cherry and John, who was squashed uncomfortably in the middle. He remained unamused when Daniel elbowed him in the face.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow as Eli fixed his glasses, then pulled a helmet out of nowhere and strapped it to Rainbow’s head, along with a data analyzer. He clapped his hands together and grinned evilly.

"Now let's analyze what makes you tick!”

"Eli!" Eli peered at Cherry, who managed to look annoyed even with Daniel’s feet in her face. Eli sighed and muttered something about never having any fun.
" Alright fine then, Rainbow Dash, let’s get you home…without any lasers, sadly."

Author's Note

Comments and Criticism is always welcomed!
All questions will be answered!
Thank you for reading!