A Robber's Guilt

by Just A Random Pegasus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1269

A man comes home from robbing a bank to find six unhappy, miniature, technicolor horses in his room; all glaring at him. They then try their best to give him a guilt trip.

Hey, Rob!

As you know, I robbed the bank again today. I only stole 500 dollars today... man, I need to step up my game!

Well, when I got home, I found six, miniature, technicolor horses standing in my room, glaring at me. They then tried to give me a guilt trip about how stealing is wrong.

So, yeah. That's how my day went. Don't say I'm lying or hallucinating, otherwise I will steal that coffee mug you have that I've always wanted.

Thanks!

-David

Published 2015-08-20 02:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-20 02:40:02 UTC

Who Are You and Why Are You in My House?!

David threw a bag of newly stolen money in his car as he drove away from the bank.

"Another successful robbing trip!" He said to himself before blasting the music in his car. He still kept on an evil-like smirk.

The drive home was fairly long, considering he went to a far away bank. He heard the money jingle in the back. Only five-hundred dollars... Oh well. Enough to buy some patio furniture, probably! David thought to himself as he bobbed his head along with the beat in the car.

The only money David ever collected was from robbing banks. Well, and working at a fast food restaurant only once a week. Robbing was his only hobby that he could do successfully and get paid well, and wouldn't want to give it up, no matter how much someone tries to convince him. His parents told him to use his stealth to play sports for a living, but he refused. He knows stealing would get him more money, and he has the job at the restaurant just in case.

When he finally pulled up to his house, he turned the car off and got the money out of the back seat. He hid it as best he could; but who really would be watching him this late at night?

He opened the door to his house and threw his disguise on the couch. He then heard a thumping noise from upstairs.

He stood completely still. He had a feeling the cops had finally found him, and that they were going to take him to jail for who knows how long. He quickly slid the money in one of his jacket pockets and creeped up the stairs.

"Pinkie! Put it back!" Came a feminine voice from the room. David stopped. Pinkie? What kind of a name is that? He then slowly opened the door to find money scattered on the floor, and six horses sitting on the floor, looking at all the money. Their glance then looked up at him, and glares appeared on their faces. David looked up and saw his secret case on the floor, opened. How did they find it? More importantly, why are there miniature horses in his room?

"Uh-oh..." The yellow Pegasus whimpered. Yes, a Pegasus. David was very confused right about now. There were fantasy, multi-colored horses in his room.

"Uh, how did you get in my room? How did you open my secret vault? And why are you talking, multi-colored fantasy equines?!" David asked, his voice raising. A rainbow-manned Pegasus flew up to his face.

"First explain to us why you have so much money!"

David pushed the flying horse out of the way and glared at the six sitting on his floor.

"I have a job, ya know."

"And we know that "job" is stealing from others!" The purple one responded. She must have been a princess or something, since she had a crown on top of her head.

"I work at a restaurant, too! Before you ask anymore questions, you need to tell me what you're doing here! You can't just burst into other's property!"

The white unicorn raised an eyebrow. "You would be the one to talk..."

"Don't talk back, you stick-head! Answer my question!"

The unicorn flipped her elegant, purple mane out of her face. "Excuse you! Calling a unicorn a stick-head in Equestria is one of the most racist things to say! You really need to learn some respect!"

David raised a brow in confusion. "So... you're from someplace called Equestria?"

The purple one nodded. "Yes. A map sent us here, saying we need to spread friendship to you. I created a machine to send us to this exact location, so that's why we're in your room. Oh yeah, I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Well, I was right about the princess part, David thought to himself.

"I'm Rainbow Dash."

"I'm Rarity."

"Ah'm Applejack."

"I'm, uh, Fluttershy..."

"And I'm Pinkie Pie!"

David gave a small wave. "I'm David. Now, you think I need friendship?"

"That is correct," Twilight responded.

"Well, I have a friend. So I don't see why you're here."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Well, you're not very kind to anyone."

"What do you mean?!" David questioned Applejack.

"Well, ya steal other's stuff. That's not very nice."

"I don't care if it's not nice!" David responded as he started to pick up the money the ponies threw on the floor. "It's what I need to do to make a living. Unlike you ponies who live in a perfect world, not to mention your weird butt-marks, I need to share money with others."

"Uh, that's not sharing! You're not giving others your money!" Pinkie responded

David rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He then put his money in the vault. "Uh, how did you guys find and open this?"

"I used my magic to detect it, to show everypony proof that you are a robber. I then used my magic to manipulate a key, and opened the vault. As simple as that," Twilight recalled.

"Whatever. Can you guys, like, leave my house or something? I really need to get some shut eye," David asked as the six shook their heads.

"You need to learn that stealing is wrong, first," Twilight responded, spreading her wings.

Fluttershy then nodded her head in agreement and started to hover in the air. "Yeah! How would you feel if somepony came and took all of your money?"

David took a step back. "Woah, I thought you were shy!"

Fluttershy then landed and glared at him.

"Whatever. And I would go report them to the police. Simple as that."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "You can't do that! They might find out that you've been a robber, and arrest you!"

"I guess that's true..." David pondered for a moment. "Oh, you're right! I feel horrible!" He said in the most convincing voice possible.

"You're sure? You're not going to rob anyone else?" Twilight asked as David nodded his head.

"Yes, I will never rob another soul again. Thank you. I would have never realized this if you haven't come."

Twilight smiled and nodded. "I think we can trust him on this. Now, let's go back to Equestria."

"But Twilight... our cutie marks didn't..."

Before Fluttershy could finish her statement, they were out of David's room. David sat in silence for a few minutes before he busted out laughing.

"Oh, those ponies actually believed me! I didn't know they could be that gullible!" He said to himself as he opened his money vault again. His smile slowly faded.

"Maybe they were right. Maybe stealing is wrong..."

As soon as David said that, he smiled mischievously. "Well, I'm going to make sure to steal at least 50,000 more dollars before I give this up..." He said to himself as he went downstairs and picked up his jacket.

Suddenly, the door flew opened and hit the wall with a bang.

"Freeze and put your hands up! We have your house surrounded!" A policeman shouted as two others put David in handcuffs.

"I don't understand! Why are you..."

His gaze then drifted a little to the side, and he saw the six ponies that were in his room a few minutes ago, waving at him.

Oh... I'm so gonna kill them... David thought to himself as he saw the six teleport away and was stuffed in a police car.

Author's Note

A random idea that popped into my head one night. The Cutie Map has so much power, doesn't it? :rainbowwild: