Suitors

by Jay David

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Romance, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 17056

The stallions of Equestria attempt to woo Twilight

Having been a princess for a couple of years now, Twilight receives a visit from her old mentor, Celestia. However, this is no mere meeting between friends, but rather Celestia here to tell her of an age-old tradition amongst Equestrian princesses. For while she has much in her life and has accomplished many feats, there is one thing a princess is required by this ancient tradition to have; a consort.

Naturally, Twilight is uncertain about all this, as anypony would be in her place. But, unfortunately for her, the call has already been sent, and the most notable stallions of Equestria now arrive in Ponyville to win her hoof, if they can.

For Twilight, it's going to be a strange time.

Published 2015-08-20 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-07 19:50:30 UTC

The Premise

It was a day like any other in the small town of Ponyville. Ponies of all shapes and sizes were going about their day, happy and content with their lives and how things were generally going for them. And yet, there was one place here where smiles were not present, and that was at the palace of friendship, a magnificent castle rising up from the ground on the outskirts of the town. It was a beautiful sight, especially today with how the light of the sun reflected off its crystalline features. There, standing at the open gates of the palace, was its main occupant, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. Although she had come a long way from the introverted bookworm she was once known for being, there were still times when her nerves got the better of her, and today was one such time, as she kept trying her best to breathe in an attempt to calm herself down. It was clear to anypony watching that something big was happening, and that she was concerned about it, and before long, this behaviour drew attention. Spike, Twilight's "number one assistant", walked beside her and looked to her with concern in his expression. Reaching up with a single clawed hand, he placed it upon her shoulder, gaining her attention. Seeing the look on his face, Twilight seemed to calm herself down somewhat, offering him a silent smile.

Although the moment was pleasant, it was nevertheless interrupted soon afterwards, as Spike turned from her and looked to the skies above. Shock crossed his face as he pointed upwards, with Twilight turning to see where he was looking. Sure enough, there she was, the one she'd been expecting for such a long time; Princess Celestia. Her old mentor was, as was customary, riding in a golden carriage, pulled by a pair of bright white pegasi guards, as well as being flanked by two others, who flew alongside her as she approached the castle. In a last-minute motion, Twilight made sure she was presentable before trotting over to where the chariot was landing, which it did in a smooth and flawless manner. As Celestia disembarked from the transport, both Twilight and Spike gave sweeping bows to the diarch of the sun.

"Princess Celestia. We are honoured to have you visit us."

But the princess merely chuckled at this.

"Oh, my dear Twilight. How many times must I tell you that you no longer need to behave in such ways towards me?"

Nervously, Twilight looked up to her teacher before standing upright again, as did Spike, before giving a smile as she spoke.

"Sorry. But frankly I don't think I’ll ever get used to talking to you any other way."

Celestia smiled back and nodded in an understanding manner, before silently raising a hoof and gesturing to the open palace behind Twilight. The young alicorn got the message and nodded back, turning and walking alongside her elder as the two of them and Spike made their way back towards the castle. The guards followed close behind, but halted as soon as they reached the gates, taking up defensive positions there as the other three entered the place. Using her magic, Twilight closed the great doors behind her, after which she led Celestia to the large map-table at the centre of the main chamber. The older alicorn looked down to it, having never really seen it before, and seemed impressed, much like Twilight had when she first looked upon it. But, moments later, they moved past that and towards a smaller table, already set up near one of the chamber's windows. As the two alicorns took their place there, Twilight turned to Spike and spoke softly.

"Would you be so kind as to bring the princess some tea, Spike?"

The young dragon gave an instinctive salute to that.

"Will do, Twilight!"

And with that, he was off, leaving the two mares stifling a giggle at the youth's enthusiastic behaviour. Now alone, Celestia looked to her student with pride in her expression.

"My dearest Twilight. It pleases me to see that you have become comfortable here. How are your friends?"

Twilight smiled to her before answering.

"They're all great. How's Canterlot?"

A brief chortle escaped Celestia before giving an answer to that.

"Oh, same as always. The nobles never give me a moment's rest. If it's not one problem, it's another. Sometimes, I really do envy your position here, my student. Ponyville must be quite serene when compared to the hustle and bustle of a city like Canterlot."

To that, Twilight gave a small smirk.

"You'd be surprised. Honestly, there are days when I'd prefer hearing squabbling nobles over an attack by some age-old monster any day of the week."

Celestia raised an eyebrow.

"Spend a thousand years doing it and you probably wouldn't be so eager."

Together, the two mares laughed at that remark, just as Spike was bringing in a tray filled with tea cups, which he gently placed on the table between them. After taking his place beside his lifelong friend, Spike, as well as the other two, partook of the hot tea in their respective cups. After a few minutes of simply enjoying this, Celestia looked to her student, and for a second, there was a flash of concern in the elder alicorn's eyes. Though Twilight was far from being the expert reader-of-ponies that Celestia was, she nevertheless picked up on it, and gave her mentor a look of confusion. After some time, Celestia let out a sigh, lowering her cup back to the table before speaking in a somewhat sombre tone.

"Twilight...you should know that...my visit here today is not simply to catch up."

Naturally, words like that caught Twilight's attention immediately, as well as Spike's, and they both looked to the white mare, silently urging her to continue. It took a while, but eventually, she did just that.

"My student...what do you know of the ancient traditions regarding alicorn princesses?"

Although at first taken aback by such a question, Twilight leaned back into her chair and began wracking her brain for possible answers.

"Well...I know it's our duty to safeguard the ponies of Equestria. We each have important functions to uphold, like you and Luna raising the sun and moon. And I know it's required that we make a number of public appearances for various ceremonies, like the summer sun celebration."

Celestia nodded several times during her student's words before eventually speaking up again.

"All true. However...there are certain...older laws about us that are still in effect, though few of our people actually know of them."

Upon hearing that, Twilight raised her eyebrow, feeling somewhat nervous about the tone in which Celestia had been speaking.

"What...what kind of laws?"

Celestia looked away, a look of slight guilt crossing her face.

"Well...one law in particular is why I'm here today. A law that states that alicorn princesses must, after having reigned for two or more years...find for themselves...well...somepony to share their life with."

Twilight looked at her mentor, silently hoping that what she'd just heard was a jest of some sort. But, when the elder alicorn turned to look at her once more, the young mare saw that there was no lie there in her eyes, only truth. She shook her head slightly, backing up into her chair somewhat.

"No...you...you can't possibly mean that...?"

But, before she had the chance to finish that sentence, the elder princess gave a nod of confirmation.

"Yes, Twilight. You are to obtain a consort for yourself. You must...marry."

Silence hung in the air for a good long while, during which time Spike looked as if he was on the verge of spitting out his tea. As for Twilight, a hundred different thought were racing through her mind at this time, culminating in her getting out a somewhat coherent sentence.

"But...but...but...can't you just overturn that law?"

Celestia hung her head and shook it in response.

"I fear not. This law was put into place long before Luna or I ascended to the throne. For all our power, centuries-old bureaucracy is a foe that even we cannot vanquish."

Twilight looked down to the table, despair now prevalent in her expression. She didn't feel she was ready for marriage, that much was clear to anypony who saw her right now. Spike looked from her to Celestia and then back again, hoping that he could offer some words of comfort, but knew that he had none to give. But, it turns out that he didn't need to, for Twilight rose her head up again and looked to Celestia with confusion.

"Wait...aren't you and Luna still single?"

Celestia was, naturally, taken aback by such a question, but given her student's current position, she soon understood the meaning behind it, and so gave her a smile and a nod.

"Indeed we are, Twilight. Though, in accordance with the law, both my sister and I were indeed wedded to stallions, though the marriage was long before any surviving documents of the period were written."

Twilight looked at her with an intrigued expression.

"But...where are they? Your husbands, I mean?"

Celestia looked down and let out a sigh.

"We...outlived them."

Yet again, silence fell between them, and it wasn't long before Spike, turning his head away from the two, spoke the words that all three of them were thinking right now.

"Well...this is awkward."

Moments afterwards, Twilight looked to her mentor with sympathy.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

But Celestia raised a hoof, stopping her and giving a reassuring smile.

"Its fine, Twilight. Their parting from this world took place many centuries ago. And while I still bear love for my own consort, I have since moved on. You need not worry about me."

Twilight sighed, relieved that she had not offended her mentor in any way because of that question. However, it wasn't long before a look of curiosity returned to her.

"So...is that the reason my brother and Cadence married?"

Hearing that question, Celestia shook her head.

"No. My dear niece was quite fortunate to have a consort she had actually fallen in love with beforehand. And because the two of them were already involved with each other, their marriage was, legally, allowed to be postponed until after they were older."

Twilight raised an eyebrow, displaying confusion at that, to which Celestia noted it and gave another sigh.

"Legal stuff. Don't even try to understand it."

Twilight looked down for a moment to get her thoughts in order, and after a few minutes of silence, she spoke up, looking less terrified of the whole situation.

"So...are there any rules regarding who I'm supposed to marry?"

Again, Celestia shook her head.

"Thankfully, no. While the law states that you must marry, it's technically possible for any stallion to fill that role for you. In the truly ancient times of our world, only nobles would have sufficed, but after a...shall we say "passionate" encounter between a princess and a stable-stallion some ten thousand years ago, the law was made to be more inclusive."

At first, Twilight was curious to learn more about that ancient and romantic encounter, but decided against it as she shook her head.

"Okay...and you're sure that there's no way to get out of this law?"

The elder princess sighed and shook her head.

"Well...to overturn a law like this you'd probably have to spend the next hundred years gathering every document about it from across Equestria, cross-reference historic examples of overturned laws from ancient times, read through all of the papers that have been half-lost, partially burned, and mistranslated over the years, before finally going before a tribunal of nobles and providing an adequate explanation that they'll inevitably reject because your forgot to put a comma on one lousy sentence of your carefully-made thousand-page presentation!"

Twilight looked at her mentor as she grew increasingly enraged as she spoke, before clearing her throat in a nervous manner and getting back into her chair before speaking in a softer tone.

"Um...let's just say you're not the first to try and get out of it."

The young mare stared at her teacher for a few moments before speaking up again.

"So...how do I go about finding a stallion for this job?"

At that, Celestia regained her earlier look of guilt, her eyes shifting from left to right in an effort to avoid her student's gaze. In the end, she spoke to her in a somewhat nervous manner.

"Um...about that. You see...I may have...kind of...accidentally...let slip that this was happening and the news spread to all of Canterlot which would have inevitably gone beyond its borders so that every stallion in Equestria now knows that you're in the position of needing a consort."

When that was all said and done, Twilight stared at Celestia with her face as white as a sheet. After much silence, the elder princess giggled nervously and shrugged her shoulders a little.

"Um...surprise?"

The First Suitor

"You need to WHAT?!"

Rainbow's shock over what she'd just heard had been quite evident, as indeed had that of every other mare gathered before Twilight. Her friends had all been summoned to the friendship palace shortly after Celestia's departure, and as soon as they'd come, Twilight had seen fit to explain the situation to them, with Spike standing to one side and keeping quiet the whole time. At first, they simply thought that it was a joke on her part. But, as time went on, they knew just how serious she was, and so had responded in many different ways. Right now, Rainbow's was one of clear indignation, as she stomped up and down the central table.

"This sucks! Can’t you just get out of it?"

Twilight shook her head.

"Believe me, Rainbow, I would if I could. But, it's like Princess Celestia said, getting past age-old laws like that is virtually unheard of. This is happening...whether I like it or not."

Rainbow snorted in anger over hearing that, which was quite a contrast to how Rarity was behaving. The alabaster unicorn instead walked over to her friend, placing a hoof upon her shoulder before speaking in a more upbeat manner.

"Twilight, darling. You're looking at this all wrong! After all, I remember back when I was but a young filly, dreaming of being a princess. I can remember those fantasies well. Me, the idol of many, standing side-by-side with a handsome consort. You're living the dream of many a filly, Twilight."

But the young alicorn merely narrowed her eyes at her friend.

"Then they can get married if it's so important to them!"

Naturally, Rarity was somewhat taken aback by the harshness of her friend's words, a reaction which caused Twilight to look saddened soon afterwards.

"I'm...I'm sorry. It's just...I think this whole mess is getting to me."

But Rarity didn’t seem offended in the slightest, moving to Twilight with a friendly smile.

"Think nothing of it, my dear. Besides, we'll be here to help you look over these prospective consorts of yours. You won't be alone in all of this."

At that, Applejack walked up to Twilight and slapped a hearty hoof upon her shoulder.

"Rares is right, Twi! We're here for ya!"

Looking to her, Twilight smiled, and that smile grew further as she turned and looked upon each of her friends, all of whom seemed to be looking to her with reassurance. They were there for her in this, and that, more than anything, was a comforting thought. Letting out a sigh, she began to speak softly.

"Thanks, girls. I...I needed to hear that."

With that said, Rainbow walked to her, raising an eyebrow as she spoke.

"So...when are these guys supposed to be showing up?"

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, only to be stopped when they began to hear a loud knocking upon the door. In unison, the mares turned, looking upon those doors with uncertainty. They said nothing, but they all knew that they were thinking the same thing; that Rainbow's question had just been answered. Turning, Twilight looked over to Spike, giving him a silent gesture with her hoof for him to go over and open the door. The young dragon gave a salute before heading over, With Twilight taking her place in her throne as he did so. As she watched him go, Rarity walked beside her and spoke in a hushed tone.

"Don't worry, dear. I'm sure that, whatever stallion is on the other side of those doors, he deserves to be given the benefit of the doubt in this."

Twilight nodded, acknowledging her point, and afterwards, Rarity, along with the other mares, took her place, standing beside Twilight as they all watched Spike open the great doors of the palace. They watched in silence as the door creaked open, and the moment that was done, and they all saw who was on the other side, Rarity immediately gained a look of shock and disgust, culminating in her hissing violently like an enraged cat. For there, standing with a smug look upon his face, was none other than Celestia's own nephew, Prince Blueblood. The white stallion trotted into the palace in a confident manner, oblivious to the looks of irritation all the mares were giving him. Every one of them had been made aware of how difficult a person he was from Rarity's account of her time at the Grand Galloping Gala. And now, here he was, walking into the palace like he owned the place. As soon as he reached the table, he gave a customary bow, speaking in that faux regal manner he loved so much.

"Princess Twilight! It is an honour to meet you!"

Though she would have preferred not to, Twilight nevertheless gave a slight bow of her head in response.

"Princes Blueblood...how...wonderful to see you too."

As expected, her words had been spoken through gritted teeth, a fact obvious to her friends but not, sadly, to Blueblood himself, who now rose up to look her in the eye.

"I'm sure you're quite surprised to see me here, yes?"

At that, Twilight could not lie.

"You could say that."

A smirk appeared on the prince's face.

"Well, when I heard from dear Aunty Celestia that you were in need of a consort, naturally, I knew that I would be perfect for the role."

Hearing that, Rainbow crept over to Twilight and whispered in her ear.

"Is this guy for real?"

But, for the time being, Twilight kept focused on Blueblood.

"Tell me, what makes you think that the two of us is a good match?"

In an overly-dramatic fashion, Blueblood swept some of his blonde mane back before answering.

"Well, aside from getting to be married to the most gorgeous stallion in all of Equestria..."

Twilight rolled her eyes as the princes continued.

"...there are also important political reasons. After all, out two families already have close ties thanks to the union of your brother to my dear cousin, Cadence. Surely you see the benefit of furthering the union of our families with a second marriage?"

Twilight's friends all looked to her, seeing the thoughtful look on her face.

"Well...I suppose that makes sense."

Naturally, the other mares feared that she might actually be coming around to the idea. But, thankfully for them, they didn't have to intervene, as Blueblood was about to make his situation all the worse without any help from them.

"I mean, sure, I may be a purebred royal and you may be a simple upstart commoner, but I'm sure I'm more than willing to look past those glaring faults of yours."

At that, Twilight narrowed her eyes, which the prince didn't notice as he continued.

"I mean, can you imagine what the rest of the rabble of this country would say if they heard of this union? They'd keep telling me it's beneath my station or something of the like. Granted, they'd be right, but I'm sure I can ignore such comments for the sake of our marriage. Though there is the issue of tabloid photographs. Naturally, they'd want to take pictures of the two of us, so I'm going to have to ask you not to take up too much room in them. Gives the commoners a better image if it's mostly me they're seeing."

With words like that, Twilight had had enough, and let out a sigh as she got out of her throne.

"Thank you for your time, Blueblood. It's been...enlightening."

The prince, hearing that, put on that same smirk as before.

"Ah, of course. Can't drone on for too long after all. So, when shall we arrange the ceremony?"

The young princess had to resist the urge to just slap him right there, and instead spoke as calmly as possible.

"Well...you know, I still have many other suitors to speak to. I can't simply pick the first stallion who comes to call."

Blueblood thought on that for a moment before nodding.

"Yes...it wouldn't do to just have you go for the obvious choice straight away. After all, we must give the commoners the chance to think that they have a shot at winning your hoof."

Briefly, the stallion let out a hearty chuckle.

"Really, as if that's going to happen."

Twilight forced a smile to play along for the time being, and after Blueblood had finished his overly-long laugh, he gave another bow to her.

"Then for the time being, Princess Twilight, fare thee well. I'll keep my ears open for your inevitable response."

As he rose, he gave her a quick wink, as well as giving a kissing motion with his lips before turning around and making his way out. Like Twilight, all of the other mares all forced smiles and began waving enthusiastically, watching him constantly until, at last, he left the palace. Spike closed the door immediately behind him, making sure to lock the thing when he was done. When he turned, he looked upon Twilight, seeing the disgusted look upon her face, and spoke softly as he approached her.

"I'm guessing you want me to run a hot bath for you to wash off the stain of that meeting, Twilight?"

But Twilight hung her head low at his question.

"Run it if you like, Spike, but I don't think all the baths in Equestria are going to make me clean after a meeting like that."

Everypony nodded in response, only taking solace in the fact that Blueblood was well and truly gone by this point. But, in the silence, Fluttershy walked up to the young princess, looking as if she'd just thought of something important.

"Um...Twilight? There is one good thing about him having come over."

Naturally, Twilight looked to her with incredulity, prompting the young pegasus to continue.

"Well...I mean...if he was the first...then doesn't that mean everypony after will be...you know...better?"

Twilight thought long and hard about that for a while, before eventually breaking out into a smile, which Fluttershy returned soon afterwards. Turning from her friend, Twilight looked ahead to the palace doors with confidence in her expression.

"You know what? You're right! After somepony like Blueblood, anypony, and I mean anypony, will be a better choice for me."

A chuckle escaped her before she continued.

"I mean, what are the chances I'll meet a stallion in all of this that's actually worse than him?"

After she’d said that, and for reasons nopony could explain, it was as if a sudden chill had descended upon the group, leading many to have a worrying feeling in their stomach. As they looked to each other with concern, Rainbow said what they were all thinking.

"Why do I get the feeling that you saying that is going to come back and bite us before this is over?"

Double Act

"So...who's next on the list?" Applejack asked.

But Twilight merely shook her head.

"There is no list, Applejack. These guys are just turning up without warning. At least, that's the impression I got from Blueblood's visit."

Naturally, the orange mare didn't seem all that impressed with that remark, and to be frank, neither was Twilight. Even so, she knew she had to deal with this situation as best she could. At the very least, her friends were going to be there to help her through this. Even so, what she could have really done with right now was something to take her mind off it, and so she soon turned to Spike, gesturing to him with her hoof. Immediately, the young dragon got the message, nodding to her before walking off towards the kitchen. Having lived with her for as long as he had, he knew when she needed something to eat, and so prepared to make her something satisfying. However, no sooner had he taken ten steps towards that kitchen when, of course, there was a knocking at the doors of the castle. All of the mares, many of which had drifted off to other parts of the room since the last visit, immediately turned towards it, with Twilight seeming frustrated by it. Of course somepony would arrive now, of all times. Sighing, she turned once more to Spike, but, before she got the chance to say anything, he raised a clawed hand, a silent gesture of "say no more" across his face. And so, without a word, he made his way over to the doors, ready to let this newcomer in, with Twilight's friends resuming their place beside her.

With a great creak, the large doors of the palace opened once more, and there, to everypony's surprise, was not one stallion, but two. As they walked in, everypony knew from looking who it was, and could scarcely believe it. For these were none other than the infamous Flim-Flam brothers, a pair of unicorns that had caused issues for Applejack and her family in the past. As one might expect, this caused the orange mare to narrow her eyes at the sight of them. However, much like everypony else, she soon morphed into an expression of slight amusement when she realised that the brothers had, in fact, not come as they usually did, but rather, were currently wearing disguises. Well, in all honesty, it wasn't really much of a disguise, but just a pair of big black fake-looking moustaches that they'd stuck to their upper lips. In fact, the one brother who did normally have a moustache had simply stuck his fake one over his natural one, which seemed to confuse many of the mares there. Clearly, they were trying to pull something here, and so the six friends all gave each other glances, while still silently waiting for the brothers to speak first. When the latter two finally reached the table, they gave a bow before the first began to speak up.

"Greetings, your highness! My name is Mr Malf!"

The other then rose up before adding his voice to the mix.

"And I am Mr...erm...Milf."

Immediately, there was a barrage of barely held-back snickering from the mares, which they were thankfully able to hide soon afterwards before regaining their composure. After clearing her throat a little, Twilight, choosing to play along for now, smiled and spoke to them.

"And...how can I help you, gentlecolts?"

"Mr Malf" then spoke up next.

"My brother and I were in Canterlot recently, and a little bird told us that you were in need of a husband."

Twilight raised her eyebrow at that.

"You’re brothers...with two completely different last names?"

The two stallions paused for a moment, looking to each other with some degree of nervousness, before looking back to her and speaking with uncertainty in their voices.

"We're...er...adopted?"

Naturally, Twilight rolled her eyes at that, before getting back to business.

"So...why do you think you would be a good match for me?"

For a brief moment, the first brother used his magic to adjust his bow-tie before looking to her with a cheesy grin.

"Well, we figured that, aside from getting that added benefit of two stallions for the price of one, you'd be privy to some of the fastest-talking, most witty chaps in the realm! Imagine the conversations we'd have!"

A smirk crossed Twilight's face at that.

"Oh, believe me, I'm imagining it alright."

Before anypony else could speak to her, Rainbow leaned in close with a smirk of her own.

"Well, Twi, it might not be so bad. I mean, having two guys instead of one might be...you know...kinda hot."

As expected, Twilight turned to her friend with narrowed eyes, prompting Rainbow to look away while giving off an innocent-sounding whistle like she didn't know nothing. Sighing afterwards, Twilight looked to the two stallions before letting out a sigh.

"Flim...Flam...come on."

Instantly, the brothers looked nervous, sweating a little and adjusting their collars slightly before one of them spoke up again.

"Er....who is this Flim and Flam you speak of, princess? I have no idea who they are...though they do sound like a pair of incredibly handsome and dapper chaps!"

Twilight shook her head before speaking.

"What exactly was the plan here? You’d trick me into marrying you and then think I'd be fine as soon as I learned who you were?"

The brothers looked to each other for a moment before looking back to Twilight.

"It's...a work-in-progress plan?"

But Twilight, unimpressed, simply sighed again and shook her head.

"Guys...this deception was pitiful even by your standards."

Flim shifted his eyes from left to right before speaking with uncertainty in his voice.

"So...I take it that's a "no" on the whole marriage thing?"

Twilight said nothing, merely nodding her head in confirmation. The brothers considered speaking up, but were interrupted when they noticed Spike walking up to them, raising his hand and pointing to the doors of the castle, clearly silently asking them to leave. There was a pause for a few moments, wherein the brothers considered staying and trying to re-negotiate this whole mess, but one look at Twilight's disapproving scowl made it clear that she was having none of it. So, deciding to get out while they were ahead, they gave another bow together before turning around and heading off. The mares all watched as they exited the castle, with Spike once more closing the doors behind them. In the silence that followed, they all looked to each other, after which, Rainbow, with another smirk on her face, let out a brief chuckle before turning to Twilight.

"You know...you can't say they didn't try."

A nod of agreement went around the group at those words. Meanwhile, Flim and Flam, having started to walk away from the palace, did so in silence for a while, which was then broken when Flim looked to his sibling.

"Well...that could've gone better."

Flam nodded, though looked somewhat irritated as he looked to Flim.

"It could have gone better if you hadn't chosen such a ridiculous cover name! Mr Milf?! I mean...seriously?!"

Flim scowled at that.

"Hey! Don't blame me! I had, what, five whole minutes to think of something? And...ugh, would you take that thing off your face?"

Before Flam could reach, Flim raised his hoof and, in one motion, swiped the fake moustache off him. Unfortunately, and quite by accident, Flim had also managed to rip off the actual moustache that had been underneath. An awkward and uncomfortable silence followed, but, it was broken soon afterwards when Flam, as one might expect, let out a scream that, in typical comic fashion was heard by ponies all over Equestria. When it eventually died down, he nursed the sore spot on his lip and glared angrily at his brother, who chuckled nervously.

"Um...oops?"

Saviour of the Universe

Thankfully for Twilight, no other stallions had come to call since the failed attempt of the Flim-Flam brothers, and thus, she had her friends had been able to spend the rest of the afternoon simply enjoying each other's company. But, when the sun had set and all had said their goodbyes, the young princess, as one might expect, had elected to turn in early. After all, this whole ordeal had been pretty exhausting for her, and she relished the chance to rest for a bit. And rest she did, as she fell to sleep pretty much as soon as her head fell to her pillow. She dreamed and slept peacefully for hours, never stirring until the first rays of sunshine began to pour in through the window of her large and ornate palace bedroom. Although she woke with a smile on her face, feeling utterly content, it faded a little when she remembered the visits of yesterday. Even so, she shook her head, trying to forget them as best she could. Today was going to be a good day, she was certain of that, and she would greet the dawn with enthusiasm, rather than dread at whatever stallion would pop up next. So, after giving herself her usual morning preening session on her wings, she straightened out her mane slightly before trotting in a dignified manner towards her bedroom door. However, no sooner had she opened the thing when she was greeted with a bubbly and familiar voice.

"HIYA!!!"

Immediately, Twilight took a step back from the bombastic morning greeting of her pink friend, who, as always, smiled widely to her. After catching her breath and calming herself, Twilight finally managed to get some words out.

"Wha...Pinkie?! What are you doing here?!"

But the mare merely giggled.

"Silly! I've been here all night! I figured you'd need somepony here with you in case one of those stallion guys comes-a-knocking on your door at night or something!"

Twilight raised a hoof to her forehead, sighing a little.

"Pinkie...look...I appreciate the sentiment, but I assure you, I can handle a late-night visitor. I'd just tell them to come back at a more convenient time in the morning or something of the like."

Gradually, the young princess' expression softened.

"But still...thank you. It's still nice to have a friend here."

As expected, the pink mare gave a smile at that, and, as normal, was prepared to rush forward and give her alicorn friend as big hug. However, before she got the chance to do so, there was the distinct sound of somepony clearing their throat behind her. Turning, both Pinkie and Twilight looked on to see that Spike had arrived. At first, Twilight would have wanted to ask him what he was doing here, but, one look at his face made it clear why had had come to her; there was another suitor here to speak with her. Although somewhat irritated at this sudden arrival, she nevertheless let out a sigh and composed herself, nodding to Spike, who returned it afterwards. Without saying another word, the three of them began to head on down from the bedroom, to the large staircase that led to the main floor of the palace. Once there, they proceeded into the main chamber, where the new arrival was waiting for them. And when they got there, Twilight froze completely. For there, standing on the other side of the cutie map, was a member of the royal guard that she was very familiar with. Bearing orange fur and a distinct blue mane, this was Flash Sentry, a young cadet that had made a name for himself as an announcer for royalty up in the Crystal Empire. As soon as he saw the princess, he gave, as was customary at this point, a bow.

"Greetings, princess! I am Flash Sentry, and I come here today to speak with you regarding your current marital needs."

A somewhat poorly-worded opening line, but nevertheless one that seemed genuine on his part. But Twilight said nothing, instead staring at him as if she'd just seen a ghost. The young stallion, as well as her friends, seemed somewhat confused by this reaction, prompting the former to clear his throat before speaking up again.

"Um...princess? Is everything alright?"

Hearing that, Twilight shook herself out of her trance-like state and chuckled nervously.

"What? Oh, yes! I'm fine! Great even! So...um...Mr Flash? I must say that I'm surprised to see you here. We've seen each other a few times before and...well...you never showed much interest before now."

The stallion nodded at that.

"It's true. For while I always considered you an impressive mare, I did not wish to overstep my boundaries with you. You are, after all, a princess. And I am merely a guard."

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"My brother's a guard, and he married a princess."

Flash nodded.

"Indeed...but many of the rest of us often feel that we are simply...not of the calibre that a princess would expect for themselves. But, when we heard that many other stallions were vying for your hoof, I thought that, perhaps, you no longer shared that opinion."

Twilight turned from him for a moment and spoke under her breath.

"Thank you very much for that, Celestia!"

Thankfully, neither Flash nor her friends had heard that sarcasm in her voice, and so simply watched as she turned to the young guard once more.

"Tell me...why would you wish to wed me? We've hardly ever spoken."

Flash nodded before answering.

"Perhaps not, but I like to think of myself as a good judge of character. And when I look at you, I don't see anything other than a good person. Besides, there's also the fact that you're an alicorn and a princess. One does not simply achieve such things unless they are truly exceptional and pure-hearted individuals. That alone is enough to...if you'll pardon my words...catch a stallion's eye."

As one might expect, this caused a slight blush to appear on the young mare's face, which she promptly hid by turning away from him. Although clearly flattered by his words, she had to maintain her composure in all this, and not seem too interested, as evidenced when she spoke in a more stern tone.

"Yes...well...that's all well and good, but why should I be interested in you, if you don't mind my asking?"

But Flash didn't seem to mind at all, instead giving another bow to her before answering.

"The royal guard have always strove for duty and loyalty to their princesses, and that is something I hold true of myself also. I may not be the most worthy stallion in Equestria, but I can promise you that, should you deign to choose me above any other, I will be devoted to you. My life will be yours, to do with as you see fit. And, above all else, I will stand beside you in all things."

The words were heartfelt and genuine, that much was certain. The seriousness in his tone and the way he carried himself was clear for all to see, and even Pinkie seemed impressed with this display. And yet, there was something eating away at Twilight as she kept her eyes on him. He maintained his bow, looking down at the ground beneath him, and in this silence, she thought long and hard about what she could say next. Eventually, and with a slight look of embarrassment on her face, she spoke

"...Do you play the guitar?"

Slowly, Flash rose up, his face bearing a look of slight confusion.

"Um...pardon?"

Twilight coughed nervously before repeating herself.

"A guitar? The instrument? Do you play it?"

The stallion looked left-to-right with that same confused expression before, at last, speaking up again.

"I...I can't say I do, your highness."

Twilight kept a neutral look on her face as she continued.

"Are you in any kind of band?"

"Er...no?" Flash replied.

"Do you own or wear a black leather jacket at any time during your off-hours?"

"A leather...er...no, I'm afraid I don't, princess," he answered.

Then Twilight looked at him with uncertainty, thinking of something to ask of him, but not sure of how to say it. In the end, she simply decided to come out and say it like it was.

"Could you...well...stand on your hind legs for a moment?"

Needless to say, Flash was greatly taken aback by all this, and even looked past Twilight to her friends. Pinkie, for once, seemed just as confused about all this as he was, and as for Spike, he seemed to be holding back a chuckle of some sort, as if he knew something nopony else did. Soon afterwards, Flash, after seeing the honest look in Twilight's face, that look that made it clear that she'd meant what she'd said, he gave a bow of his head to her. Although he struggled for a moment, he eventually reared up onto his hind legs, using his wings to help steady him in this position, through it remained a difficult balancing act for him. Twilight looked him over, seeing him stand on just two legs, and after a few moments, she turned away from him and let out a sigh.

"It's...just not the same."

Flash, having not heard her, raised an eyebrow.

"Princess?"

Twilight turned back to him and gestured with her hoof, giving him silent permission to come back down, which he did. After a few moments, Twilight spoke to him with a soft tone.

"I thank you for your kind words, Sir Flash. I appreciate what you've said here today. I'll be sure to keep in touch."

The stallion, though still uncertain about what had just happened here, nevertheless gave another bow to the young princess, before heading off and out of the palace, closing the doors behind him. Twilight turned, seeing the confused look on Pinkie's face, and gave her a look that made it clear that, whatever explanation she gave, it wasn't going to make any more sense. As for Flash, no sooner had he taken a few steps beyond the doors of the palace, when he began to hear a rustling in a nearby bush. He turned, and saw, soon afterwards, a mare emerging from it. But this was no ordinary mare, but rather the princess of love herself, Cadence. As she approached the young stallion, she looked to him with utter giddiness and excitement, practically skipping in place.

"Well? What did she say? Will I be hearing wedding bells for my dear little sister-in-law soon?"

Flash opened his mouth to reply, only to close it again as he thought over everything that had just occurred. Slowly, he looked back to the castle of friendship, that same confused look as before still plastered all over him.

"I'm...afraid not, your highness."

Her ears drooping, Cadence looked utterly crestfallen at that, taking a step towards him.

"What?! But...why?"

Looking back to her, Flash gave the only answer he could.

"To be honest…I think the answer would just confuse me more."

Children of the Night

The knocking had gone on for some time now, and Twilight had merely stood there, staring at the door, frozen like a statue. Her friends, naturally, were concerned with her being this way. Not that they blamed her for it however. After all, if any of then were in her position, chances are that they'd be hesitant to speak to whoever was out there too. Twilight herself, at this point, counted the moments, perhaps hoping that, if she waited long enough, then whoever was out there would simply go away. But, she knew in her heart that she was not the kind of mare that would be so rude as to just ignore such a person. Maybe whoever was there would be somepony who'd annoy her. Or maybe he wouldn't. She didn't know. And, in some ways, it was that not knowing that got on her nerves the most in this. She let out a sigh, showing clear discomfort in all of this, but, moments afterwards, looked to her left when she saw that Spike had walked alongside her. The young dragon gave her an encouraging look, as if to make her feel better. Him being here with her did accomplish that aim somewhat, as she afforded him a small smile. In time, she turned to the door once more, raised a hoof, and then promptly opened it, offering a greeting to the one beyond.

"Welcome."

But, her expression became one of surprise, as the one before her was quite unlike anypony else she'd seen so far. First and foremost, there was the fact that the male standing there was not, technically, a pony at all. With unique-looking armour, a darker colouring, and strange bat-like wings, Twilight recognised him immediately as a thestral, or "bat-pony" as many liked to call them. This rare breed of Equestrian was most notable as being the personal guard of Princess Luna. In fact, Twilight was certain that the one standing there now was one of the very stallions used to pull Luna’s chariot during her visit to Ponyville on Nightmare Night some years back. However, this one was, for some reason, wearing a pair of sunglasses. To make himself seem more impressive perhaps? Regardless, Twilight put on a smile for his benefit, stepping aside to let him in.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr...?"

The stallion walked past her and into the palace, wherein the other mares took a nervous step backwards at seeing him. But, he didn't notice this, instead turning and looking to Twilight, taking off his sunglasses and revealing his dragon-like eyes in doing so.

"It's Vlad. Sir Vlad of the lunar guard. And thank you for inviting me in, princess. It was far too bright out there for my liking."

That explained the sunglasses. Thestrals did prefer darker environments. The sunlight would have mostly likely been quite difficult for him.

"So...Vlad? I assume you're here about the whole marriage thing?"

The stallion nodded at that.

"Indeed. When I heard that a mare as impressive as you was on the look-out for a mate, I decided I should at least try to throw my hat into the ring."

Twilight opened her mouth to respond, only to be interrupted when, as expected, Pinkie spoke up.

"But you're not wearing a hat, silly!"

Naturally, the stallion looked to her with confusion, seeing her smile widely in an oblivious manner.

"Um...okay. Anyway. I trust you know of the grand history of the royal guard and how dutiful we can be, solar or lunar. Choose a stallion from among either one of us, and I guarantee you that we will stand by you and..."

But, he was halted when Twilight raised a hoof.

"Look...Vlad...you're not the first guard to come to me. Believe me when I say that I've heard this before. I know the guard are impressive, but I want to know about you, not what you've pledged yourself to."

Although taken aback somewhat, Vlad soon composed himself somewhat.

"Well...I was born in Roneighnia and came to Canterlot to join the guard as soon as I was old enough..."

"Do you drink blood?"

The sudden question from beyond was unexpected for both Vlad and Twilight, and they turned to see that it was Rainbow who had spoken up. Naturally, this remark earned her a swift hoof to the back of her head by Rarity, who had an indignant look on her face.

"Rainbow! That is most impolite!"

But, rather than seem offended, Vlad simply let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh, it's no bother. In truth. I've been trying to cut back on the blood a lot lately. Doctor says it's no good for my cholesterol."

Immediately, all mares turned to him with faces as white as a sheet, with Twilight’s voice being a combination of both meek and fearful.

"Um...pardon?"

But Vlad just kept on smiling.

"Indeed, I much prefer that new artificial blood stuff they've got going these days. A bit pricey for my liking, but it's supposed to be good for you, so who am I to complain?"

Then, before anypony else could say anything, he turned to Twilight with an undeniably sultry look.

"I assure you, princess, if you were to wed me, one bite and we could prowl the night skies together. A lord and lady of the night, sending chills down the spines of anypony who saw us. What say you?"

As one might expect in this situation, his words had left her looking somewhat paralysed. When she finally did speak, it was in hushed and clearly nervous tone.

"Um...thank you for your visit, Mr Vlad, but I just remembered I...er...left the stove on! Yeah, that's it! So I'm afraid we'll have to cut this meeting short. Don't call us, we'll call you and...all that good stuff."

There was a pause for a moment as Vlad considered this, which eventually led to him giving a small smile and simply bowing to the young princess. Twilight, waving him goodbye, watched him nervously as he left, keeping her eyes on him until the last possible moment, after which, she bolted for the doors, shutting them tightly and using her magic to lock them as much as possible. After her efforts, she panted heavily, turning to Spike with terror in her eyes.

"Spike? Remind me to secure all windows before we sleep tonight."

Laughter rang throughout the chambers of Princess Luna, as she and Vlad both sat together, sipping tea in comfort.

"Blood? Transformations via biting? Really?!" she commented.

A chuckle escaped the stallion before he nodded in response.

"Indeed, princess. I swear, the younger generation will believe anything these days."

Luna wiped a tear away from her eye after her laughter finally died down, letting out a sigh soon afterwards.

"Oh dear, what I would have given to see the look on Twilight's face when she heard all that."

Vlad raised an eyebrow slightly.

"You don't think...your royal sister would be upset at us making light of this situation...do you?"

But Luna merely scoffed in response.

"If Tia can put Twilight in this mess to begin with, she's hardly one to complain about a jest like this."

"A jest like what, little sister?"

Immediately, both Luna and Vlad froze at the newly-arrived voice, turning slowly to find, as expected, that Celestia herself was now standing in the doorway of the chamber, looking to them both with a disapproving frown. In the end, Luna, after finishing her tea, simply gave her older sister a nervous smile.

"Um...funny story, actually."

The Strong and (Almost) Silent Type

The atmosphere in the castle was a pleasant one for the time being, as Twilight and her friends all sat together around the cutie map, laughing together as they ate the cakes that Pinkie had brought them. For a moment, however brief, they could forget about all the stress that had befallen the young princess, forgetting all the terrible suitors she'd had to put up with, and simply enjoy each other's company for a while. It was the kind of moment that Twilight had longed for since this whole mess had begun, though it was somewhat tainted by the knowledge that it couldn't last forever.

"So...who do you think is next?" Rainbow asked.

Twilight sighed before answering.

"Hard to say. There's thousands of stallions out there, Rainbow, and any one of them could come over here for this."

Rarity looked to her alicorn friend with a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry, darling. After all, with a number that big, chances are that you're bound to find somepony."

Twilight nodded. There was indeed a stallion out there for her someplace, though, as comforting as that thought was, there was also the grim truth that she'd have to go through a lot of unsuitable ones to get to him. But, for the time being, she decided to simply enjoy this quiet and uninterrupted moment with her friends, and so used her magic to levitate a piece of cake towards her mouth. However, no sooner had she taken a bite when, of course, there was a knocking on the door. The mares all froze for a moment, instinctively knowing what kind of visitor it was, as they looked to Twilight. It took a few moments, but, after swallowing her small piece of cake, she let out a somewhat irritated sigh.

"...Of course."

Spike, who had been sitting beside her, let out a similar sigh before hopping off his chair, knowing full well what he'd be asked to do soon afterwards. Twilight turned, as did the rest of the mares, and looked to the young dragon as he approached the great doors. Anticipation and worry vied for control in their minds as the small drake reached up for the door, turning the knob and then pulling it open as he'd done before. They watched with baited breath, only to let that breath go when they realised who was on the other side. For there, standing far taller than any other stallion so far, was Applejack's older brother, Big Macintosh. Together, the mares all breathed a sigh of relief, as Mac entered the palace, giving Spike a silent nod in greeting, which was happily returned. As the imposing stallion drew closer to the cutie map, Twilight got out of her chair and smiled in welcome to him.

"Nice to see you, Mac."

The stallion smiled in response.

"Eyup."

Twilight turned and gestured to Applejack before speaking up to him again.

"Do you need to speak to AJ about something?"

At that, Mac stopped, seeming somewhat nervous about something, though the mares didn't know why. However, moments afterwards, understanding was made very clear to them with the stallion's next words.

"Um...nope."

It took a few moments, but eventually, the mares all widened their eyes in surprise, now knowing full well why Mac was here. It was all the more evident when he kept trying to avoid looking Twilight in the eye. To say that the young princess was shocked would have been a great understatement, as she cleared her throat a few times before speaking in a somewhat nervous manner.

"Well...um...I must say I wasn't expecting this, Mac."

The stallion nodded in agreement.

"Nope."

But, before Twilight could say anything in response to that, Applejack got up from her chair and gave her brother a somewhat stern glance.

"Darn it, Mac! Y'all couldn't have told me about this first?"

Mac hung his head low for a moment, shaking it slightly.

"Nope."

Applejack opened her mouth to speak, only to be stopped by Twilight.

"Applejack, it's fine. I appreciate that you don't want this to be difficult for me, but I have no issue with your brother being here. Besides, he's probably pretty nervous about this, so...you know...go easy on him, please?"

The orange mare looked from Twilight, to her brother and then back again, before letting out a deep sigh.

"Alright then. But, on yer head be it!"

Twilight nodded at that, looking back to the still-silent stallion.

"So...Mac? I have to say that I'm flattered that you would consider...well...us an option for yourself."

Mac raised his head and gave a small smile.

"Eyup."

"I mean...it's nice to know that I'm meeting a stallion that I'm actually friends with for once. It makes a nice change of pace."

"Eyup."

The other mares nodded in agreement with that. The atmosphere here did indeed seem less stressful than what had come before. However, it wasn't long after that when Twilight smiled further, having thought of a particular thing to ask him.

"You know...being friends first, I bet we could have all sorts of interesting things to discuss if we got together."

Mac smiled at that.

"Eyup."

Twilight thought for a moment before gaining a "light bulb idea" face.

"Like...the intricacies of teleportation magic. That'd be interesting to talk about, right?"

Mac opened his mouth to answer, only to stop and think for a moment before giving a nervous look to Twilight.

"Um...nope."

Twilight looked a little disheartened by that, but soon shook herself out of that and smiled again.

"Oh well, there's always Haycartes theories, right?"

"...Nope."

"Starswirl's apocrypha?"

"Nope."

"National politics?"

"Nope."

Scratching her head, Twilight had only one thing left to say.

"Um...anything that isn't related to apples or apple farming?"

Mac considered that, only to look with her with a slightly disappointed expression.

"...Nope."

It was as Twilight, sadly, had predicted. Friends they may have been, but when it came to having things in common, it seemed that she and Mac weren't exactly the most compatible ponies around. After a few moments of awkward silence between the group, Twilight turned, looking to Applejack for a moment, after which, she looked back to Mac.

"Mac...I'm sorry...but I don't think this'll work. I know we like each other...but that's only as friends. If we did go through with this, get married, and then it didn't work...could we ever go back to being friends? Would my friendship to your sister still be as strong if this relationship didn't work out?"

It was something that, perhaps, Mac and Applejack hadn't considered, as the two siblings then looked to each other for a few moments. It took some time, but eventually, they both sighed and gave each other a nod. Looking back to Twilight, Mac put on a smile for her and nodded again, showing that he understood. In response, Twilight gave an appreciative smile.

"Thank you for understanding, Mac. So...still friends?"

At that, Mac gave a hearty nod.

"Eyup."

With that, he gave a farewell wave to all the other mares, who happily returned it, before making his way out of the palace. The group watched him go, seeing Spike close the doors behind him. About a minute passed afterward before somepony made a move, and it was Applejack who did it, moving to Twilight and placing a hoof upon her shoulder.

"Well...ah understand the yer reasons fer not wantin him, Twi. Though ah gotta say, it'd have been nice havin y'all as a sister-in-law."

Twilight smiled in response.

"Likewise, AJ."

The two mares smiled at each other, only to be interrupted as Fluttershy meekly walked up to the orange mare, speaking in that hushed manner she was so known for.

"Um...Applejack?"

Applejack then turned to looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What's up, Flutters?"

The timid pegasus looked from her to the door and then back again before speaking up, blushing slightly as she did so.

"So...does this mean your brother is still single?"

Droning On

To say that Spike was looking fearful would have been a great understatement, as he rushed as fast as his tiny legs could carry him, straight towards the friendship palace. He charged towards the doors, knocking on them fiercely, alerting all within to his presence. Within moments, the doors opened, revealing a confused-looking Twilight on the other side. Before she had a chance to say or do anything, she watched as the young dragon rushed past her and slammed the door behind him, leaning against it as if to hold back a mob or something. Seeing his worried look, Twilight gained a concerned expression, as did her friends when they too saw what the drake was like right now. Softly, she spoke to him.

"Spike? What's wrong?"

For a few moments, Spike tried catching his breath and getting his words out, which went about as well as could be expected. In the end, he stopped completely, taking in a few deep breaths and recovering after having run here so fast. With that done, he spoke loudly.

"A changeling!"

Immediately, the other mares looked alarmed, especially Twilight, as she learned forward and pressed her muzzle against Spike’s nose, looking him right in the eye with a panicked look in her.

"A what?!"

But Spike nodded in response.

"It's true! I saw a changeling drone! In broad daylight! He's heading right here, for the palace!"

Standing tall again, Twilight's expression became one of seriousness.

"This is it! I knew this day would come! Chrysalis has come seeking revenge! This drone is no doubt here to act as a scout or something!"

Rainbow rushed to her side, looking equally as determined.

"Then let's show that bug what it means to trespass in Ponyville!"

There was a general cry of agreement amongst the other mares, and a rather meek one from Fluttershy, as Twilight stamped her hoof on the ground before charging headfirst out of the palace, with her friends close behind her. The moment they were out of the doors, they saw him, the drone. He was still pretty far but, as Spike had said, he was undoubtedly heading in the direction of the palace. The mares galloped off towards him, running as fast as possible in the hopes of taking him out before he got there. As for the drone, he was making a rather slow pace towards the castle, only to stop when, to his confusion, he saw six mares running towards him. He said nothing, but, understandably, looked concerned at this. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be prevented from doing so when, at last, all six mares slammed into him, sending him flying backwards, landing on the ground a few feet away. Stopping, Twilight and the others then walked with purpose to the dazed drone. Before he could get up, Twilight placed a hoof upon his chest, keeping him down and glaring at him angrily.

"Alright, drone! Why are you here?"

Although clearly taken aback by this, the drone soon composed himself, clearing his throat a little before giving an answer.

"Er...I came for you."

As expected, Twilight narrowed her eyes at that.

"Aha! I knew it! What was the plan here? You'd infiltrate and learn more about me and my castle for an attack?"

"No."

"Then...then you planned to knock me out and take my place, like your Queen did with Cadence?"

"I...No!"

"Then what? What did you come here for, changeling?"

Looking to each mare in-turn, the drone looked more than a little nervous, especially as he looked back to Twilight.

"I...I...I came to woo you."

Twilight looked to him in triumph.

"You see, girls? He came here...to...woo..."

Slowly, the confidence faded from her face, replaced now by confusion and uncertainty. She looked back to the drone, her voice lowered to a whisper.

"Um...would you care to repeat that?"

The drone nodded.

"I heard rumours of your search for a consort, so I came here to see if I could accomplish that goal myself.”

Twilight's friends all looked to her with various reactions, all while Twilight kept her eyes locked on the still-pinned drone beneath her. In the end, and after much deep thinking and soul-searching, she said the only thing that anypony possibly could say in circumstances such as this.

"...WHAT?!"

The drone, having been tied to a hastily-prepared chair, looked at the obviously-disturbed princess before him, who studied him closely as she sat in her throne on the opposite side of the cutie map, all while surrounded by her friends. The silence was quite uncomfortable, and after a good number of minutes had passed, Twilight sighed and spoke at last.

"Okay...let's start from the beginning. What is your name?"

The drone nodded before answering.

"I am drone two-seven-three-six."

Applejack raised an eyebrow at that.

"Y'all don't have a name?"

The drone shook his head.

"My number is sufficient enough, thank you."

But Twilight just narrowed her eyes.

"And you want...to marry me?"

The drone nodded his head again, prompting her to continue.

"But...why?"

Hearing that, the changeling looked somewhat confused.

"Well...to put it simply, you are an impressive mare. You are strong and capable. It would take no less to challenge my Queen after all."

At that, Twilight looked more than a little angry.

"So…you do know Chrysalis?"

The drone nodded.

"Indeed. In fact, I am one of her offspring. The two-thousand-seven-hundred-and-thirty-sixth to be precise."

Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I figured as much from your name. So...are you here under her orders?"

The drone shook his head.

"No. I have, in truth...left my hive."

Twilight looked to her friends, all of whom seemed equally sceptical at that.

"You left your people? Why?"

The drone narrowed his own eyes at that.

"You met my mother, yes?"

Twilight nodded, prompting him to continue.

"Then that should be a good enough answer for you."

At that, Twilight could not argue, having remembered all too well how unpleasant a person Chrysalis was. Nothing was said, but it could well be the case that her defeat made her even more aggressive, to both her friends and her enemies. Is that why this drone had left? Had things amongst the changelings become so bad that there were actually outright defections? It was an interesting thought, but, Twilight shook her head, knowing she had to stay focused for the time being.

"Okay...getting back to business...why do you think I would want to marry you? I mean...if you were part of Chrysalis' hive, then that must mean you were part of the Canterlot invasion force, yes?"

The drone nodded.

"I was. Actually...you and I met each other once."

Twilight raised her eyebrow.

"I did?"

The changeling nodded before continuing.

"Indeed. I landed right in front of you, hissed for a bit, and then you just stepped all over me as you and your friends were trying to charge forward."

For a moment, Twilight recalled her memories of that dark day, only to gain a look of slight embarrassment.

"Um...yeah. Sorry about that."

But the drone just shrugged his shoulders.

"No issue here. I got better."

But Twilight frowned soon afterwards.

"That may be, but you being here is still going to cause problems. How many ponies would you have terrified in Ponyville just walking over here?"

The drone shook his head again.

"None actually. It's not the first time I've been here."

At that, the whole group looked confused.

"Really? When were you here last?" Rarity asked.

"During the wedding of the donkey, Cranky. There was a whole bunch of love in that room that day and I thought I'd just head on over and soak it up for a bit, Didn't even need to disguise myself for once. Although...I don't remember seeing any of you there."

At that, there was a general look of embarrassment amongst the mares.

"We...er...had other things on our minds," Twilight replied.

But, it wasn't long before she recovered, clearing her throat.

"Alright then, say I believe you about all this. Why would you marrying me be a good thing?"

The drone, for once, put on a smile.

"Well, apart from helping to ease tensions between our races, it would provide you an excellent opportunity to learn more about a people that, frankly, I think you know next to nothing about."

Hearing that, Twilight looked somewhat interested.

"Yeah...I suppose that's true. But it's hardly enough to base an entire relationship on."

The drone nodded, letting out a sigh.

"True enough. But the fact is...a drone on his own isn't really going to last. We need direction. We need command. And while I was unwilling to follow the command of my mother, I still need someone above me, letting me know what to do. With you being an alicorn, the highest of all ponies, I figured you’d be a good choice."

For the first time in this, Twilight looked to the drone with what could only be described as sympathy. It was clear to her now that what he truly wanted was not a wife, but a master. And that, as one might expect, was not something Twilight was comfortable with.

"Look...I'm sorry, but I don't think this is a good idea."

At that, the drone looked crestfallen.

"But...I assure you I am a capable warrior and servant! And I can also attend to the many duties of a husband with great enthusiasm! If it is offspring you’re concerned about, I guarantee I can provide a large and healthy clutch of eggs for you."

Hearing those words, Twilight turned, trying her best not to throw up at the mental image that had now been conjured in her mind, all while many of her friends, mostly Rainbow, did their best to hold back their laughter from seeing her like this. In time, she looked back to him, doing her best to put on a smile.

"Thank you for that...vivid description of your...talents. But I'm afraid my decision still stands."

Seeing the honesty in her face as she'd said that, the drone looked down a little.

"Then...where will I go?"

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, only to be interrupted when Pinkie rushed past her and looked to the drone with a massive smile on her face.

"I'll take him!"

Naturally, all of the mares looked to her with shock.

"Wha...Pinkie?! Really?"

Turning to her, Pinkie smiled wider and nodded.

"Yep! I live to make people smile, Twilight. You know that! If being with somepony is what it'll take for him to be happy, then that's what I'll do!"

As one might expect, this seemed a little drastic by the standards of the other mares, but, it was clear that they were all far too late to dissuade Pinkie from this line of thinking, as she bounced over to the drone and began to untie him. As for the drone himself, a look of utter joy now crossed his face as he looked to the pink mare beside him.

"You...you mean that? You actually want me?"

Pinkie gave him an affectionate pat on the head after that.

"Of course I do, silly! Pinkamena Diane Pie always means what she says!"

The smile on the drone’s face was massive now, as he bowed his head before her.

"Oh, thank you! I promise, you won't regret this!"

But Pinkie merely giggled.

"There's no need for bowing, droney. Although..."

A somewhat sly look crossed her face now, with the other mares being slightly nervous as a result.

"Do you think you could...you know...do me?"

The drone looked up, looking quite uncertain about that.

"Do? You mean...change into you?"

After giggling a little, Pinkie's expression became one of definite sultriness.

"Sure...let's go with that."

Know Thyself

The day was still young, and Twilight, Spike, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were all sitting on their respective thrones around the cutie map. There was an uncomfortable silence amongst the group, as each one of them looked to the other, almost daring them to speak up first. After an awkwardly long time, Twilight sighed, speaking first.

"So...I assume Pinkie is...?"

There was a general nod of confirmation from the rest of the group, prompting Twilight to continue.

"And she and that drone are...?"

Yet again, there were more nods.

"So...all night?"

More nods, and this time, Applejack spoke up afterwards.

"Eyup. Ah swear, ah can hear those two from all the way over at mah home. Faust knows what it’s like for those ere in town."

Rarity looked to her with some discomfort upon her face.

"I can assure you, Applejack, it's a little more difficult for us. I'm all for romance, but those two just haven't stopped since they got together. I've been missing out on so much beauty sleep the last few days!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes at all of this before adding her own voice to the mix.

"Look, I know it's kinda weird for me to say the real mature stuff, but Pinkie is our friend, and we should, ya now, support her and stuff. I mean, sure, it's kinda weird for us, but I'm sure Pinkie and that new boyfriend of hers really like doing...all that stuff. So...maybe we can just learn to live with it?"

A pause followed the pegasi's words, and the mares all looked to one another for a moment, ultimately ending with Twilight letting out a deep sigh before speaking.

"You know what, Rainbow? You’re right. I mean, it may be a little unbearable for all of us to hear them constantly singing love songs to each other during their all-night baking sessions, but it's hardly fair on them if we try and interrupt it. So...let's just see if we can put up with it, okay girls?"

Another pause followed, after which there was a general murmur of agreement, causing Twilight to smile. Nodding at all of this, Twilight hopped out of her throne, ready to walk off and do something else. However, it was here that something extra-ordinary happened, as there was a bright flash of light just beyond the cutie map, causing all of them to turn their heads in its direction. When the light died down, they saw that it looked like a rip in the air itself, not unlike when Discord threatened to throw Treehugger into another dimension. Needless to say, Twilight was immediately entranced by this, rushing towards it to get a closer look. The thing practically oozed magic, and she studied it carefully, all while the others gathered behind her with worried looks upon their faces.

"Twilight? Wha...what IS that thing?" Spike asked.

The young princess scratched her chin for a moment, pondering that very question, before giving the only answer she'd been able to come up with so far.

"Best guess...it's an inter-dimensional portal. A gateway to another world."

As one might expect, this cause a wave of near-panic to spread through the other mares, eventually leading to Rainbow walking beside Twilight, while keeping her eyes fixed on the portal.

"So...is there gonna be some kind of weird monster or something that we have to fight?"

Twilight turned to her friend, opening her mouth to speak, only to be interrupted when the portal began to fluctuate wildly. Instinctively, all of them took a cautious step backwards, watching the portal careful as it began to twist and convulse. Then, without warning, something was thrown from the portal, landing right at their hooves, much to their shock. Although taken aback by this, they were even more surprised to find that what lay before them now was no monster, but a pony. Even more shocking than that though, was that this was an alicorn. Slowly, the pony began to stir, getting to its hooves, though was clearly weak in the knees from its experiences. Twilight took a step closer, watching this newcomer carefully, and when she finally came face-to-face with it, she gasped with shock. This alicorn, a stallion, had lavender fur, just like her. He had a dark-purple mane styled into bangs, just like her. He had clear purple eyes, just like her. And upon his flank was a cutie mark of a pink star surrounded by smaller white stars, just like her. With her mouth slightly agape, Twilight's next words were hushed, almost to a whisper.

"You...you...you're me?!"

The stallion, still looking tired, nodded his head.

"My name is Prince Dusk Shine. It's...a pleasure to meet you."

To say that everypony was flabbergasted would have been understating it, as they all stood there with their mouths hanging open at the sight of the male Twilight in front of them. But Twilight, looking him over, continued to speak in a low tone.

"This is...this is...this is..."

Then, against all logic and reason, she burst into a massive smile, jumping up and down with glee.

"This is amazing! So Haycartes' theory of multiple realities was true?"

Dusk nodded.

"And the split timelines. And the branching magical theories. All of it. I come from a parallel world from your own, the chief difference being that the sexes of all its inhabitants are the opposite of what they were here."

Twilight looked like a filly on Hearth's Warming Eve morning, squealing with joy at all the wondrous possibilities that now flowed through her mind. As for her friends, they just kept their eyes on Dusk, the latter now realising that he was being observed.

"Um...hi?"

They looked to each other, and shortly afterwards, Rarity took a few steps closer, looking him over slightly before speaking up.

"Well, Prince Dusk. You'll forgive me if my friends and I find this all somewhat strange."

Dusk chuckled at that.

"I don't blame you. Though, to be fair, it's also pretty strange for me, having to see a group that, in my world, are normally stallions. This...this is just weird for everypony."

Yet again, there was a general murmur of agreement, and only now did Twilight come to her senses, raising a hoof and placing it upon Dusk's chest.

"So...why did you come here?"

"Well..." Dusk began.

"Oooh! Is there some monster in your world you needed help to defeat?"

"Erm, well I..."

"Or is this just an experiment to see if you could do it?"

Increasingly, Dusk was looking nervous, especially with everypony else's eyes constantly upon him. In the end, he simply sighed in what looked like defeat, dropping to his knees before reaching out and holding onto Twilight's hoof.

"Actually, I've come to ask...Twilight...would you marry me?"

The silence that followed was so intense that you could hear a pin drop, and, much like with the changeling's arrival, Twilight found herself at a loss for words. Well, to be more precise, she found herself at a loss for all but one word.

"What?!"

But Dusk kept looking at her, seeming all the more uncomfortable.

"Please! I beg of you! I'm at the end of my rope here! My mentor, Prince Solaris, he's been trying to set me up with every mare in Equestria. If I don't get married by the end of the day, he's gonna arrange for me to get together with his niece, Princess Bluebell."

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"So...you're in a similar situation as me. But…is that princess really so bad?"

Dusk nodded his head frantically.

"You have no idea. She's self-absorbed, always looks down on others, heck, she even treated my friends like dirt most of the time!"

Rarity looked away and grimaced slightly.

"Well, I wonder who could possibly be her counterpart in this world?"

Rarity's sarcasm notwithstanding, Twilight looked down to Dusk with some sympathy.

"Look, Dusk, I appreciate your problem. Believe me, my own time trying to find a consort has been pretty rough so far. But...crossing dimensions so you can get married to a sex-swapped version of yourself. Isn't that a little strange?"

But Dusk shook his head.

"Believe me, I tried a lot of things before I came to this decision. This is my only option left. Unless..."

He looked past her, staring at all the mares behind her. They immediately figured out what he was thinking and simultaneously gave him gestures and expressions of "no way", prompting him to droop his ears somewhat. Seeing this, Twilight placed a hoof upon his shoulder.

"Look...I wish there was something I could do to..."

But, she was prevented from finishing that sentence, as the doors of the palace suddenly burst open, prompting all of the ponies to look in its direction. Yet again, they found themselves shocked, as the one now entering the place was none other than Trixie, Twilight’s one-time rival, who now pointed in an accusing manner to the young princess.

"Twilight Sparkle! Trixie has returned to challenge you once more!"

But, rather than be intimidated, Twilight just groaned in annoyance.

"Ugh! Trixie?! Now?! Seriously?!"

But the blue mare was undeterred, striding towards her at a fair pace.

"Ha! Trixie knew you would be dumbfounded at her return! It's only natural. Now witness the power of...who is that?"

Twilight seemed confused at first, but then saw that Trixie was looking straight at Dusk, and, more to the point, actually had a somewhat amorous look on her face. It took a while, but the lights were switching on rapidly in Twilight's mind, leading to her gaining a somewhat devious grin.

"Oh, how rude of me! Allow me to introduce you. Trixie, this is Prince Dusk. Dusk, this is Trixie."

With introductions done, Trixie walked up to the somewhat confused Prince, looking him over with that look still in her eyes.

"A prince, eh? Well...Trixie is pleased to meet you."

Dusk, still confused, fumbled a response.

"Um...likewise?"

He turned to Twilight, who spoke up before he had a chance to say anything.

"Tell me, Trixie...how would you like to be a princess?"

Trixie's head snapped in Twilight's direction.

"Wha...what are you talking about?"

Turning, Twilight slapped a hoof down on Dusk's shoulder.

"It's just that...Prince Dusk here has been saying how difficult it's been to find a mare to marry, and I was thinking, maybe you and he could..."

But, Twilight was herself interrupted when Trixie rushed forward, hugging the prince, much to the latter's shock. But, before Dusk could speak to Twilight, the princess beat him to it.

"Remember...it's her or Bluebell."

Thinking on that, for a few moments at least, Dusk then put on a smile for the mare now embracing him.

"So...Trixie, is it? I must say, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Parting from him, Trixie swept back some of her mane while wearing a somewhat cocky smile.

"Trixie knows. So...have we met before? Because Trixie swears that you look familiar."

Before Dusk could give an answer, Twilight once more interrupted him.

"Wow, would you look at the time! It's high time for you and Dusk to head on back to his dimension so you can arrange your wedding."

Trixie turned to Twilight.

"Wait...what other dimension?"

But Twilight didn't answer, instead using her magic to lift both Trixie and Dusk together, levitating them both over to the portal. Neither pony could do or say anything before Twilight made her final move, pushing them both through the whole, which, as per the laws of inter-dimensional travel, closed the moment they passed through, and just in time. With the two of them gone, Twilight breathed a sigh of relief before turning, only to find that the rest of the mares, and Spike, were staring at her with incredulity. In the end, she simply shrugged her shoulders.

"A prince returned to his own world and a new relationship started along the way. I'd say that's a job well done."

The group watched her begin to walk past them, looking quite pleased with herself over this. After some time, Spike, after shrugging his own shoulders, spoke what was on everypony's minds.

"Well...that happened."

A Dark Encounter

Thankfully for Twilight, much of the last few days had been completely free of any potential consorts for her, so for the most part, she had seen fit to try and alleviate a lot of the stress that had built up in her as a result of those constant visits. Walks in the local park, spending time at Sugar Cube Corner, even simple acts of reading her favourite books. She had done it all and, for once, she was actually feeling somewhat content about her life right now. Her friends too seemed to be quite relaxed at the moment, playing a game of poker with one another by the cutie map, while Twilight sat off to one side and watched them. It was going well, with Pinkie, somehow, managing to beat everypony, much to the chagrin of Twilight's other friends.

"Ugh! This sucks! How can you be this good, Pinks?" Rainbow asked.

But the pink mare merely shrugged her shoulders.

"Guess I'm just good at reading your faces."

Given the unhappy look on Rainbow's own face, it was clear she wasn't happy about that explanation. Even so, Twilight couldn't help but smile at how calm and peaceful things were right now. Unfortunately, experience had taught her well at this point, which meant that, in her book, calm and peace could only mean that something bad was right around the corner. And sure enough, it wasn't long before Fluttershy spoke up next.

"Um...maybe we should end the game? I should really be getting back to my animals. I mean...look how dark it's getting out there."

The group turned, and Fluttershy did indeed have the right of it, as there seemed to be a great deal of darkness out there. However, rather than prompting everypony to start heading home for the night, it simply caused a lot of them to look at the windows with confusion, ultimately leading to Applejack adding her voice to the mix.

"Er...beggin yer pardon, but...ah thought it was mid-day or something?"

For some reason, a chill went down Twilight's spine as she looked at that darkness outside, a feeling which wasn't helped by the fact that, to the surprise of all of them, there was a sudden loud knocking at the door. They all snapped their heads in its direction, while Twilight flapped her wings and leapt over the table, assuming an aggressive stance on the other side. There was another knock, and then another, and another, until finally, the doors simply burst open. There was a massive gust of cold air, and before anypony could react, that same darkness from outside began to seep indoors, surrounding them all like a blanket of smoke. The group huddled together, showing clear distress over this, but Twilight kept her position, lighting up her horn and staring menacingly at the darkness. The eerie force began to close inwards, tightening around them, and now, they began to hear the unmistakeable sound of hooves walking towards them. They turned their heads in unison, trying desperately to see who it was that now emerged from the gloom. When they finally caught sight of him, they gasped, all while Twilight narrowed her eyes.

"Sombra."

The dark king and former enslaver of the Crystal Empire stood there, looking triumphant as he glared at the six mares before him, Twilight especially. The young princess flared her wings, ready to strike with whatever magic she had at her disposal. But, before she had a chance to do so, she was taken aback when she saw, to her surprise, that the darkness was receding, retreating back outside, leaving Sombra behind. Twilight watched as the dark stallion approached, with her ever closer to making a move against him. And then, when his horn began to glow, she gritted her teeth, preparing herself for an undoubtedly fierce battle.

And yet, it never came. For Sombra did not bellow. He did not lunge. And he certainly did not start sending off dangerous magic in every available direction. Instead, he got to his knees, and used his glowing horn to levitate an object out of the pockets of his red came. Twilight squinted her eyes at it, only to snap them open when she saw that it was a flower hovering before her. It was blue, the kind that grew north in the Empire, and she looked then to Sombra, who bore a somewhat lecherous look.

"For you...dear princess."

After a great deal of silence, Twilight simply let out a huff and slumped her shoulders.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

Sombra chuckled in response.

"I know, it seems impossible that a stallion such as myself has come back from the dead, but I assure you that..."

But he didn't get the chance to finish, as Twilight then interrupted him with an angry look upon her face.

"No! I'm talking about the fact that my search for a consort has now reached such a point that even you are coming to my door!"

Although shocked by this behaviour, Sombra quickly composed himself, clearing his throat before starting to speak.

"Um...yes...well...you'll no doubt have your reservations about aligning with one who has moved against you in the past, princess. But, I can promise you..."

"I mean, what's going to come next? Discord? Tirek? One of those big dragons we've had to fight in the past?" Twilight continued.

"Er...I...I believe we can put our differences aside for the sake of..."

"Have I just become the butt of the universe’s jokes lately? Is that's what's going on? Oh, ha-ha, we can just give Twilight a whole bunch of terrible stallions and see her get stressed. What a wonderful idea, universe!"

"...That's...kind of unfair, I mean...I had this whole speech prepared and..."

But Twilight raised a hoof, stopping him.

"Look, I don't mean to burst your bubble or anything, Sombra. But I'm just going to save you the trouble. The answer is no."

Sombra stared at her, somewhat shaken at this direct behaviour, which he clearly hadn't been expecting.

"Um...but I have this whole tragic backstory where I was a sad foal in the Crystal Empire and..."

"No," she repeated.

"I...I was going to try and tempt you to the dark side and..."

"No!" she repeated again.

"I'm sure I can impress you more than..."

"Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!" she carried on.

"But..."

At this point, Twilight just grabbed onto the clasp at the front of his cape and dragged him forward, bringing him an inch away from the now-infuriated look on her face.

"ALL...OF...MY...NOPE!!!"

With his pupils now shrinking to the size of pinpoints, Sombra coughed nervously before starting to back away from the enraged princess. Under his breath, he mumbled to himself, hoping Twilight wouldn't hear.

"Geez, not even the torment of Tartarus was as terrifying as her."

Looking back to her, he forced a smile.

"Well...um...I see that it's perhaps not in my best interests to remain...within a thousand miles of you. So, if it’s all the same to you, princess, I will bid you good-day."

And with that, he spun around and, in a somewhat cartoonish manner, began bolting for the open door, leaving a trail of smoke behind him, like a chicken that just came face-to-face with a fox. Twilight took a few moments to take in some calming breaths, before putting on a small smile, thankful that she'd managed to get rid of yet another undesired suitor. Turning, she looked upon her friends, all of whom looked to her as if she had suddenly transformed into a vicious monster of some sort. But Twilight was oblivious to this, instead keeping that smile of hers.

"So...I think it was Rarity's turn to start the next game, yes? I'll set up the table."

The mares nodded in unison, watching as she made her way past them, paying particularly close attention to the fact that her happy smile seemed to come with a twitch in her eye every once in a while. And only now did one of them speak, with Rainbow Dash looking to the rest with worry on her face.

"Girls, I tell ya...if this doesn't end soon...I think Twi might actually blow up Equestria."

The Final Suitor

Things had been pretty calm in the royal palace for some time now, which, for those in the know, always meant one thing; Celestia was bored. She could handle many things, from invasions, to even the tedious complaints by the many nobles in the city, but the sheer lack of activity that had been going on as of late was just getting to her. And so it was that she did what she could to pass the time, sitting in her chambers, reading a book, while sipping some of her favourite blend of tea. It was a pleasant enough moment, though the sun princess would have wanted nothing more than for something big and unexpected to happen.

Sure enough, something big and unexpected suddenly happened, as the doors of her chamber burst open, causing her to snap her head in its direction. There, entering her room, was Luna, panting heavily as if she'd just come running a long way. With a look of concern upon her face, Celestia put her book aside and rose to all fours.

"Luna? What's wrong?"

Entering the room in earnest, the moon princess gave her sister a look of shock before giving her answer.

"It's Twilight. She...she's found somepony!"

It took a few moments for Celestia to truly understand what was being said, but when she did, her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"You mean...she's found a suitor? But...I kept hearing that she had nothing but bad luck with every male that’s come her way?"

Luna nodded.

"I heard the same, but it seems she still found one. In fact, she's waiting downstairs for you."

At that, Celestia looked past her and towards the door.

"She's here? Now?"

Luna nodded again, prompting Celestia to start charging out of her room, with her sister close behind. The two made their way with all haste down the halls of the palace, being saluted by every guard they passed, and soon enough, they made their way to the great hall that would have eventually led to the exit of the place. There, just as Luna had said, was Twilight. She stood there with a look of confidence upon her face, surrounded by all of her friends, who seemed to have come along for the trip. Celestia slowed down as she approached, very much eager to learn of this mystery stallion that had so quickly entered her student's life. And then, as she got close, she saw him. There was indeed a stallion at Twilight's side, lavender like her. An earth pony from the looks of it, with a spikey green mane and tail, bearing a cutie mark of what looked like a green flame. Celestia swore that she'd never seen this pony before, and yet, for whatever reason, there was something undoubtedly familiar about him. Even so, she put on a smile as she finally reached her former student.

"Twilight. It is good to see you again."

The young alicorn smiled and nodded at that, prompting Celestia to turn fully to the stallion beside her.

"And this must be your new beau. I must say, Sir, it's a pleasure to meet with you."

The stallion opened his mouth to speak, only to be stopped as Twilight covered that mouth with her hoof, speaking in his stead.

"His name is...er...Lee. We've actually known each other for some time now."

Celestia raised an eyebrow at that.

"You have? I don’t recall you speaking about him."

But Twilight nodded afterwards.

"Oh, I'm sure I have. Anyway...let's get on with it."

Celestia blinked for a moment.

"Um...forgive me, Twilight, but...get on with what?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"The marriage of course. As princess, you have the authority to minister at any time and place, yes?"

At that, Celestia looked utterly aghast.

"You mean...here? Now? Just like that?"

Twilight nodded in response, prompting her mentor to continue.

"But...but...don't you want a proper wedding, with all your family and other guests and...?"

"Nope. We can just have it now. I don't like to do this that often, but as a princess myself, I do have the right to ask this of you, do I not?"

Celestia considered that for a moment.

"Well...I suppose that's true, but..."

Twilight, not giving Celestia a chance to finish, instead grabbed onto "Lee's" hoof, holding him close.

"Alright then, let’s get this show on the road."

One look at Twilight's face made it clear that she was not going to budge from this matter, and as Celestia turned to her sister, who promptly gave her a shrug of her shoulders, it was also clear that there wasn't anything technically wrong with what was being asked here. As such, and after much silence, the elder alicorn let out a sigh before clearing her throat and standing in a dignified manner.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Princess Twilight Sparkle and...Lee. I’ve had the honour of ministering many marriages over my life, and in my experience I..."

But, Celestia saw that Twilight had a look of slight annoyance on her face, twirling her hoof in a "please hurry it along" manner. Although taken aback by this, Celestia knew from her own marriage experience all those centuries ago that, sometimes, it was best just to get it over and done with. So, after coughing a little, she continued.

“Anyway...do you, Twilight Sparkle, take this stallion to be your lawfully wedded husband, through sickness and in health, through good and bad, so long as you both shall live?"

Twilight nodded.

"I do."

Celestia then turned to Lee.

"And do you, Lee, take Twilight to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and..."

Yet again, Celestia was interrupted, as Lee simply nodded his head enthusiastically in response to her unfinished question. Raising an eyebrow at this, Celestia nevertheless continued,

"Very well, then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Lee turned to his new wife and, rather quickly, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, eliciting a slight blush from himself in doing so. Seeing that, Celestia gained a look of confusion, but Twilight, noticing this, began to explain herself.

"Well...the tradition doesn't say the kiss had to be on my lips, does it?"

Thinking on that, Celestia eventually just sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"I...I guess not, no."

Twilight then took on a wide smile.

"So...that's it? We're officially married? I don't need to have stallions knocking on my door anymore?"

Celestia nodded.

"No. Your obligation in this matter is quite definitely over, my student."

Twilight looked practically giddy at that, then turning to Lee and just staring at him, as if waiting for something. Many of Twilight's other friends also did this, leading to Celestia being quite confused for some time. Then, before she had a chance to say anything, she watched as something began to happen to Lee. There was a faint glow all around him, as if some kind of magic were awakening. Then, to Celestia's shock, she saw that the stallion actually began to change before her very eyes. His fur was shrivelling up, becoming, of all things, scales. His hooves were beginning to grow what looked like claws, his mouth was starting to grow sharp-looking teeth, and all over he seemed to be reducing in size considerably. Celestia watched, flabbergasted as this continued, until finally, the changes ended. And when they did, the figure before her was not Twilight's newfound stallion, Lee, but rather her lifelong friend and number one assistant, Spike. The young dragon, getting to his feet after his change, looked to the alicorn looking down on him, and shrugged his shoulders with a nervous look.

"Um...hi?"

Slowly, Celestia looked form Spike to Twilight, with the latter starting to explain things.

"Transformation magic. The same kind I used to turn my friends and me into Breezies not so long ago."

Celestia stood there, with her mouth hanging open, for several minutes, and only after that time had passed did she finally get any words out.

"You...you did all this...to get out of your obligations?"

Twilight nodded.

"I did. I was never happy with any of the stallions who came to me, and I knew I wouldn't be satisfied with a marriage that existed just to satisfy some old law. So, I thought of an...alternative solution. The law specifically stated that only stallions could marry me, and, as you just saw, I did marry a stallion, thanks to you."

Celestia raised a hoof and pointed it to Spike.

"But...Spike isn't a stallion!"

Twilight nodded.

"You're right, he isn't. At least, not now. But at the time I married him, he was. And that, by those ancient laws, is all that was needed. Plus, as he is now no longer a stallion, then the marriage itself has come to an end, with me still being free of having to go through another one. Much like you and Luna no longer had to marry a second time after your first husbands died all those centuries ago."

Celestia remained silent for some time, turning to look at Luna yet again. There was a nod between the two sisters, after which, Celestia lit up her horn, causing an object to suddenly teleport in from out of nowhere. Twilight recognised it immediately as the parchment from which the ancient alicorn marriage laws were written. The two elder alicorns unrolled it and began pouring through it, reading line after line for some time. In the end, they stopped and looked at each other, with Luna speaking up with shock in her voice.

"By all the stars, sister...she's right!"

Celestia then turned to look at Twilight once more, and for the first time, began to frown.

"Twilight...not only have you deceived me here today, but you did so to completely undermine and mock one of our nation’s most ancient laws. You were devious and conniving in a way that I never thought you capable of being."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air, and many of Twilight's friends, especially Spike, began to feel worried about where this was heading. But, to the surprise of manty, Celestia simply broke into a massive smile and let out a hearty chuckle.

"Well done, my student! I'm honestly a little ashamed that I never thought of doing something like this myself back in the day!"

Twilight giggled slightly before responding.

"Thank you, princess. Believe me, it took meeting a few pretty terrible suitors for me to start considering something like this."

Celestia nodded.

"I can't wait to hear all about it. Although...I must ask...where did you learn to be this underhanded and sneaky?"

Twilight looked to her with an "are you kidding me" look and raised an eyebrow.

"Gee, princess, I don't know where I could have learned all that stuff from."

As expected, there was a general round of giggles all around at that, though Celestia had, admittedly, been the tiniest bit irritated at it. But, during it all, Spike, looked up to Twilight, gaining her attention.

"Um...Twilight? You're sure this marriage thing between you and me is over?"

Twilight smiled at him, giving him a reassuring pat on the head.

"It is, Spike. The stallion you were at the time of the marriage is gone now thanks to that transformation, which means the union couldn't remain. It's really old Equestrian law stuff."

Spike breathed a sigh of relief at that, only to look worried again soon afterwards.

"Um...what do you think your Mom, Dad and brother are going to think when they hear about this?"

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, only to shut it tight and gain a look of fear as her assistant's words sank in.

"Oh...dear."