Passports Won't Cover Universe Jumping

by Rainbooms_Over_Miami

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure
Length: 10284

A group of friends go on a hiking trip and, in a strange chronicle of events, end up in Equestria. Once there, they struggle to fit in to Equestria while trying to understand what exactly happened. It's too bad passports won't cover universe jumping.

A few years ago a group of friends collaborated to make a story online, but gave up, disbanded, and grew distant until now, reuniting on a hiking trip that is unexpectedly interrupted when they're pulled into Equestria and tossed out of a sonic rainboom (in equine bodies, no less) in a strange chronicle of events that not even they understand. Once there, they struggle to fit in to Equestria while trying to understand what exactly happened.

It's too bad passports won't cover universe jumping.

Published 2015-08-20 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-09 03:21:39 UTC

Chapter 1

The group of eight sat in a semi-circle on benches near the trail entrance, conversations starting and ending awkwardly here or there while a few stayed silent, staring ahead. James, a tall and bulky man, sat with his back hunched as he leaned slightly forward, awkwardly staring at his hands once more after his gaze locked with Reuben’s, who sat at the opposite end of the benches.

As the two broke eye contact for the fifth time, James pushed himself to his feet and swatted at a mosquito on his neck, declaring sadly, “It’s about time we get this trip started. There’s not much we can do about those that canceled.”

Reuben stood as well, stretching his arms and letting them linger in the air above his head for a moment, staring at the view around him, and taking in the familiar view of the faded green patches of brush and massive amounts of lone cacti spread throughout mountain range. When he had agreed to finally meet up with his online pals, the writers of an old failed pony fanfiction collaboration, he never imagined they’d actually show up, let alone agree to go through a hike in the desert wilderness. But after a day in a stuffy hotel, there was no where else he’d rather be.

He looked away from the view, down to his side to his girlfriend, in his eyes a more beautiful view. “A’ight, let’s get going Hana.”

Hana stood as well, her skin turning a darker shade of caramel in the heat of the sun and the wind blowing her black wavy hair about. “Yay, finally! A little adventure!” she said, smiling to the group around her. “This is gonna be great, guys.”

“Totally,” said Taylor with a smile. His thin hoodie, hugging his slender frame, was admittedly too clean for a rugged hike in the dusty desert mountain, and very little could be packed in the pockets of the skinny jeans tight against his thighs. Brushing his rainbow hair out of his face and smoothing out his v-neck, Taylor stood and made his way to James, stepping lightly to avoid dusting his shoes. Needless to say, he wasn’t the hiking sort of guy. “Hiking is, like, the best.”

Joshua frantically checked his bag one more time, nervously counting off the supplies in a pack that was obviously too big. He tottered slightly as he piled it on his back, rocking on his heels beneath its weight despite his heavy frame. “I’m going to try and imitate your movements Reuben, since you’ve got some mountain climbing practice.”

Reuben wiped the sweat off his forehead, furrowing his brow. “We’re not climbing any rock shelfs, we’re walking up a mountain on a trail. Can you put one foot in front of the other? If so, you’re a natural.”

Stephen, to the left of Joshua, took a swig of his canteen and shook his head. “It’s a good thing too. I shan't bore you with the numbers, but we'll be rather high up once at the peak. Quite a tumble, if you ask me,” the Brit said, staring at the mountaintop with wide eyes.

Standing nearby, Edvarts nodded in agreement, picking up his pack and flexing his strong arms as his shirt squeezed his toned torso tightly.

“It’s definitely not a fall I want to take,” he said in a strong Latvian accent, flicking his hair back and shaking his dirty blonde bangs from his forehead, revealing a face fit for a model. Adjusting his glasses to shift the glare of the sun off his ice-blue eyes, he stepped to the front of the group and looked back, waiting for the others to get started.

Taylor whistled at Ed with a wink. “Dios, James, did you see Ed!? I can see why he is a successful actor,” he said, taking a headphone out of his ear and grinning.

James shrugged in response, adjusting his pack on his shoulders and staring at his hunting knife. “I guess.”

Basking in the awkwardness for a second, Taylor smiled brightly before asking, "Hmm, so what do you have in mind for this trip? What kinds of stuff are you going to do while you're here?"

I'm gonna kill something. I'm gonna eat it. And I'm gonna take what trophy worthy piece of it remains home.” James said plainly, looking Taylor in the eye.

Taylor’s smile shrunk away. "Whoa, hey, that's morbid! Er, what if we tried to take a more nature friendly approach to this trip? Please?" he said hastily.

“I've been doing this for years. I'm not stopping because you feel like whining over it. You don't even like nature. All you've done is bitch about the dirt the whole way here, so why do give a damn?

"Ah, actually, I haven't once said a word about being unhappy about the trip! The outdoors kind of just ... aren't my thing. I love animals, and I would not, under any circumstance, condone to unnecessary torture or killing!" shouted Taylor, pushing his face close to James’.

James pushed Taylor back, sighing. “Remember how I told you to stay out of my way?” he said quietly.

Ignoring him, Taylor pushed his face close to James’s face again. “Remember when I tried to have a conversation with you!? I'm going to stop you!”

Pushing back more aggressively this time, James grimaced. “You wanna try? Be my guest.See how well it goes.”

Reuben places a hand on Taylor’s shoulder, “It’s not worth it, man,” he said, trying to just get the trip started.

Taylor closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting out a groan, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone, while fidgeting with the piercing on his brow.. After a moment of furiously tapping at the screen he put it back in his pocket with a frown.

“Remember, I promised you I’d get you the number of that cute bag-boy if you tagged along,” said Hana, smiling sympathetically at Taylor.

“Oh yeah. Yummy.”

Connlaoi swatted at the many bugs floating around his head as he raised his deceptively tone figure from the rickety benches with a creak, before asking, “So, did anyone give you guys advanced notice that they weren’t showing up? I haven’t gotten any responses from the rest of them.”

The group glanced at one another for a moment, shrugging shoulders and shaking their heads. Taylor pulled out his phone one last time, attempting to flit through it again, “A few, but communication has been scarce.”

Reuben shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, looking around in silence. After a couple minutes of silence, Taylor tossed and twirled his phone in the air from his left hand to his right before deftly sliding it into his tight pocket and leaping to his feet. “It was such fun meeting some of the guys for the first time, right?”

“Sure, I guess. I was never really that close to any of you guys in the first place, I just came to get away from the hellspawn that are my sisters. I have to admit, James had me shitting bricks, though. He’s got that fucking Pinkamena look going on,” Joshua muttered, shivering at his last observation, “It’s those eyes. I thought he was going to go all Cupcakes on at least one of us.”

“I thought James just had odd fetishes. He also glared a lot,” Reuben interjected, as James glared at him, flipping the bird in his direction.

“I’m just glad Tyler never came.” Reuben continued. “I would have turned the car around and drove straight home if I saw his stupid, pudgy, face.”

“But yeah, it’s too bad so many of us didn’t come.” Taylor said. “I was able to contact everyone except Morgan, pero ustedes vinieron sin ellos! It surprised me to learn that I was the only one who actually kept contact con ustedes after we cancelled the collaboration.”

“Taylor, if you get to speak Spanish, I can go Japanese on yo’ ass,” Reuben warned.

Hana tugged on Reubens wrist. “No… just don’t. I can’t handle the weeb,” she said, shaking her head.

“So it’s safe to say we’re going to get going soon, right?” Joshua asked openly after gathering the will to speak openly again.

“Yeah,” a few say in unison. With a sigh, Reuben took the lead, and the rest of the group followed, heading up the main trail.

“Don’t let my big stomach fool you, I’ve hiked up this mountain plenty growing up, I can even take you guys around to some of the old forgotten tourist traps.” Reuben said confidently as he took big strides up the trampled path.

Stephen stared straight ahead. “Personally, I'm just looking forward to the view up top. Do hope we didn't wait too long for the no shows. The view will be much better in daylight.” He made his way ahead of the group, marching onwards while staring at his watch.

“God damnit!” Connlaoi shouted, kneeling to the ground and gripping his groin through his cargo shorts, a noticeably larger cloud of insects buzzing around him.

“You alright man? We can head back if you need to,” Taylor says hopefully.

Connlaoi climbed to his feet, pulling a sweat bee from within his shorts. “I’m good, I can keep going, just wondering how they got in there. These bugs are ridiculous.” He reassured the concerned members of the group with a faint smile.

“Ouch, that’s gotta hurt,” Hana winced. “You sure you’re alright, Ca—”

“Shhh…” James held out a hand, staring past the trail into the thorny bushes below. Slipping his hand into his pocket, he kept from blinking, keeping eye contact with the green expanse.

“What are you—” Hana starts again, but James shushed her once more, pulling out a thin black throwing knife.

“Rabbit,” he muttered, pointing at a cottontail hopping below with one hand and preparing to release the knife with the other.

Taylor jumped in front of James. “NO YOU CAN’T HARM THIS POOR CREATURE!” he shouted, flailing his arms about, alerting the fluffy creature, and gave a sigh of relief when it hopped off.

James pushed him aside, walking off the trail and wading through the tough brush. “Damnit Taylor, I'll harm whatever I damn well please!”

“No! Stop!” Taylor chased after James, stepping around any plants in his way. “There’s no reason to hurt anything here!”

“Maybe we should stick to where we can see our feet.” Reuben shouted cautiously. “Snakes hang out in these bushes this time of year!”

Hana giggled, relishing the excitement. “Who knows? It might be fun. We know these mountains well enough, we probably won’t get lost if we wonder from the trail a bit.” She followed James and Taylor, pulling her hair back into a ponytail before climbing atop a rock above the bushes and turning towards the group. “Just watch your step, guys! Don’t step anywhere you’d like to be if you were venomous and scaley! Looks like we’re taking a detour!”

Joshua and Connlaoi joined the madness, hopping off the trail with cheeky grins, as Stephen returned to the group, “What’s taking you guys? I’ve been up that hill for about a minute, and—”

“ADVENTURE! That’s what’s taking us!” said Hana, raising a fist above her head. “Come partake in some with us!”

“Yeah, get with the program” Josh said with newfound confidence, trotting along.

Reuben groaned loudly. “Yeah, adventure…” he said unexcitedly, doing weak jazz-hands as he followed the chaotic creatures, muttering something under his breath about their untimely deaths.

James came to a sudden stop, putting his arm out to prevent Taylor from taking another step. “Slow your roll,” he muttered quietly. “And look at how nature works.”

Taylor lept back once he realized the threat, his burst of bravery in the wilderness escaping him. He stared in stunned silence at the snake in front of him as it pulled itself from around a dead cottontail rabbit.

Close behind them, Hana stumbled, looking down to see her foot caught in a small hole. Trying to play it off she silently struggled to remove her foot from the hole. Reuben noticing her strife, rushed to her aid. “I gotchu babe,” he sang lowly, to save her the embarrassment.

“Get a room, lovebirds,” Ed said with a laugh.

Hana laughed along as she stepped away from the hole, approaching Taylor to pat him on the shoulder as he looked around atop a rock around, stammering an apology to James and searching for more deadly snakes. On the way, however, she stopped dead in her tracks, staring to the left.

“Hey guys? What’s that?” she asked out loud, pointing in the distance and shielding her brown eyes from the sun's glare.

“What’s what?” asked James, amidst considering settling on a black headed snake skin over the rabbit pelt.

Hana was already moving, walking as though in a trance towards a nearby rock shelf. “That. Over there.”

Reuben and Stephen followed Hana closely. “What’s wrong, Hanners?” Reuben said, taking her hand into his.

Continuing to move, Hana muttered,“There’s a light by that cliff. See it?”

“I… yeah, I see it.” Reuben peered at the distant light, glaring from across a ridge. “It could just be broken glass or something; the rednecks from the town over come up here to drink from time to time.”

“I don’t think it’s glass, babe.” Hana turned towards the rest of the group with a smile. “Come on guys, treasure hunt.”

“I’m in!” shouted Taylor, already over his paranoia. He, along with the rest of the group, each shrugging and nodding in agreement, followed suit after Hana, Stephen and Reuben.

Upon approaching the wall, the group gasped in a unanimous intake of breath.

“That. Is one deep hole,” muttered Josh, staring into the blackened depths of the ravine they nearly walked into. Despite being only a couple feet wide, the crack in the earth in front of the wall seemed bottomless.

“But look, it’s right there!” Hana pointed across the ravine against the rock wall before them. On a thin protrusion, 8 feet above the opening of the cavern, was what looked like a silvery stone, glaring in the afternoon sun.

“What is that thing?” asked Taylor. “It’s so... shiny!”

“I have no idea,” said Reuben. “Aluminum maybe? Or a weird quartz?”

“It could be an old native arrowhead?” said James with a raised eyebrow.

“Or just a tin can,” chipped Connlaoi, shrugging.

Hana approached the ravine, stepping over it and onto a dip in the wall. “I think I can climb up to it.”

Reuben stepped forward, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back. “No. You can’t.”

“Why not?” she asked, irritated.

“Where you see footholds, I see snake holes. Also, you don’t want to fall in there.”

“Come on, babe. I got this. I promise not to die, ‘kay?” Hana flashed him a smile, baring the gap in her teeth.

Hesitantly, he let go of her. “Alright, but be careful.”

With a nod, she leaned across the ravine, pressed her foot against the wall, and took hold of the ridges in the cliff, climbing up skillfully. She lost her footing only once, but, to the sighs of relief from the group, caught her balance once more.

“I see it! It’s… a necklace.” Hana looked onto the edge of the shelf, staring at the silver and blue pendant on a long linked chain. Different shades of metallic grays mixed and marbled on the surface, behind the carving of a blue crescent moon. Reaching forward, she grabbed the pendant with deft fingers.

“It’s… so pretty,” she said, turning back and smiling at the group. “Well, that was an adventure!”

Suddenly, moments after enclosing the necklace in her fist, her body felt heavier, and a weight that stemmed from her arm pushed her towards the earth. Beneath her feet, the foothold she had found crumbled, and she had only a second to flash the group a look of fear before tumbling down towards the crack below.

“HANA!” Reuben leaped forward without a moment’s hesitation leaning over the ravine, grabbing her hand. “I— I can’t carry you! What’s happening? What’s pulling you?!” Slowly, he started to totter over the edge.

“No, you’ll go in too, you moron!” James shouted after him, lunging forward and pulling on the back of Reuben’s shirt, realizing within a second, with much confusion, that the weight was too much.

Taylor grabbed James around the waist, pulling as hard as he could, only to be yanked forward by the collective weight of those who had fallen.

“No!” Connlaoi grabbed Taylor’s legs as he fell, tugging and leaning back while his shoes dragged forward. Ed trailed behind, holding on to Connlaoi’s shoulders, while Stephen pulled on Ed’s. Finally, Joshua grabbed hold of Stephen, but to no avail. One by one, the group toppled over the edge of the crack in the earth.

The hole they fell into tilted gradually towards the bottom, allowing them each to tumble, one by one onto the rocky slide. Hana and Reuben fell out of the slide,clutching each other’s hands. They were in a cavern with a strange glow, and the walls were a stony blue. In her hand, the pendent lost its sudden weight.. She held the necklace so tight she almost felt it squirming in her fingers.

“You okay, babe?” asked Reuben.

“Yeah. I promised I wouldn’t die,” muttered Hana with a wince and a grin. Quick behind them rolled James, cursing like a sailor and holding his head. Taylor, Connlaoi, Ed and Stephen collapsed on top of them in a pile, each complaining and bemoaning their various newfound scrapes, nicks and bruises.

“Is everyone alright?” asked James, extremely irritated, as he looked around the room.

Everyone nodded in agreement, shaken but alive.

“Good.” James turned to Hana. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what’s with the weight gain?”

“I’m not sure. The necklace just—”

“Whoa! What’s that?!” Taylor was pointing in the corner of the cavern, the source of the dim glow.

A rainbow blob of light shifted and curved in the corner, changing shapes and colors before the group.

“I think… I think that’s a fire rainbow,” said Stephen, astonishment clear in his voice. “I’ve only ever heard of them; they appear around 5,500 meters above the ground, and only in freezing conditions. They’re basically the reflections off ice crystals in the clouds. But… but what’s it doing here? In a cave…. underground… in a desert?”

In her hand, the pendant squirmed harder, and with a realization, Hana’s eyes grew wide. “Guys… I think it’s pulling towards—”

“Uh… guys? Where’s Josh?” muttered Connlaoi as he looked around the circular cavern.

Glancing back and forth at one another, the group crowded at the bottom of the slide. Leaning in, they heard the sounds of struggling and rustling fabric. “Josh? You there?” asked Ed, worried.

After an exasperated sigh, they heard the voice of Josh, just feet above them. “I’m stuck. The pack’s caught on something.”

“Well, take it off!” shouted James, annoyed.

“I can’t! I’m trying. I… wait…. I think I can unhook it… Got it! Get out of the way!”

But the group had no time to get out of the way. Down came Josh and his massive backpack, heavy like a rock and gaining speed. Before they knew what hit them, they were knocked back like bowling pins into the glowing blob in the corner.

Stephen was the first one through, and he felt no pain, only an extremely fast and sudden rush of air coming from the ground below him. He heard the voices of his friends around him, screaming and stammering and shouting in astonishment.

He was thousands of feet in the air, falling through the bluest sky he’d ever seen. His clothes billowed against his frame, seemingly 10 sizes larger and rippling in the wind.

Surrounding him, with voices that sounded eerily similar to those of his renewed international friends, was a group of colorful ponies, each shrieking in the wind and wearing outlandishly large clothes. Staying silent, Stephen turned away from the creatures around him and looked at his hands.

They were flat and soft and adorable. They were also hooves.

“Well, would you look at that…” he muttered, and then giggled to himself. The giggles turned to laughter and the laughter turned to screams.

Author's Note

Written by OmegaDarknes, CodeJunkie, and GlitterNight, edited by GlitterNight, and illustrated by Brony Pony.

Chapter 2

“Alright Gilda, I’ll catch you later! I’ve gotta get back to Ponyville; Pinkie’s throwing a party I just can’t miss,” Rainbow Dash chuckled, bumping her hoof into Gilda’s fist.

Gilda chuckled and replied, “Well, the last party of her’s wasn’t exactly a riot ....”

Blowing a raspberry, Rainbow Dash winked and leapt into the air, soaring over the Abysmal Abyss and leaving behind the city of Griffonstone. For several minutes, she flew in silence, choosing to relax against the winds. Below her a pack of deer galloped into a thick forest, out of which fluttered several birds. Rainbow Dash lazily scanned the trees, spotting small critters hopping from tree to tree, and larger animals that popped in and out of view, lurking beneath the trees to pounce on their prey. She stared at her shadow for a bit, watching it contort as it moved over trees. Unexpectedly, it began to grow large, and lost its shape entirely. “Huh, what the ...?” RD stuttered, rubbing her eyes and looking at her ever-growing silhouette. Then, she gasped, looked up, and spiraled to the right as a dragon zipped right past where she was, mouth clamping shut on air. “Gah!” she screamed, regaining her balance and smashing through a cloud.

The dragon quickly rose from its dive and thrust its large wings, gaining on her with incredible speed. Risking a glance behind herself, she yelped and flew up, rising just over the maw of the beast as it once again snapped shut. Rainbow Dash kicked its nose and flew away, this time ready as she accelerated, aiming upward at an inclined angle. The dragon was quick to recover, moving after her again and roaring a blast of fire that singed the end of her tail.

“Okay, let’s see if you can keep up, big guy,” she called as a challenge, giving the flapping of her wings her all. She aimed for a large layer of clouds, the dragon again catching up to her. After bursting a hole through the mat of clouds, she made a corner turn, snapping almost a whole 90 degrees. The beast exploded from the same fluffy surface, roaring in outrage over the trickery. The pegasus herself was now aiming downward, pushing herself forward harder and harder each second. Almost ... there ... Rainbow Dash thought as the dragon spotted her in seconds, raising its awareness with a satisfied grumble as it began to dive. Her wings bat on the sides of her body, propelling her forward at astonishing speeds as she focused on a town that slowly came into view beneath the two. The dragon was already on her tail, closing its jaw and tearing loose several strands of hair. Rainbow Dash was no longer worried anymore, however; a cone began to form over her forelegs, tightening into a point. Just as the giant red lizard’s mouth was surrounding the multi-hued mare, an explosion announced her breaking of the sound barrier.

The dragon flailed as it was tossed away from its prey, hurtling away from the village and over the Everfree forest. Rainbow Dash curved, passing over the unfamiliar town and flying after the dragon with a rainbow trail behind her.

The town, sitting on the edge of the Everfree forest and a mountain, was filled with ponies who glanced at the rainbow spectacle above in amazement. Soon, it turned to a more fearful kind of astonishment as ponies seemed to materialize from the sonic rainboom, falling right out of the sky. It only took a few seconds before somepony was organizing group of pegasi to catch them, unicorns to slow their fall, and earth ponies to prepare nets. The falling ponies were all covered in clothes that were much too big for them, hiding their forms from the pegasi that managed to get close enough to them without receiving a kick in the face. Five of the falling ponies were caught, but one of them ended up being dropped again by a clumsy stallion. The unicorns all cast levitation spells to stop the ponies, but even their strength combined wasn’t able to completely stop the last four ponies from entirely slowing. The earth ponies tugged out safety nets just in time to catch the final four, who were falling just slow enough to not break straight through.

As the pegasi set the bundles of ponies down with the others, all of the ponies who came to the rescue watched as the rescued ponies struggled out of their clothes. One by one, a unicorn was revealed, both Stephen and Josh coming out as teal and blue stallions. Each popped their heads out from under shirts, jackets, and whatnot. Most stared silently at the ponies around them with astonishment, though a few murmured in awe. After the sixth unicorn stallion was relieved of their entanglement (The large, horse-looking James, who appeared after the snow-white Edvarts, lavender Connlaoi, and oddly black Reuben), a mare appeared. Hana was particularly different from the others, and not just because she was a female or earth pony; her coat was sparkly and translucent, and her mane was incredulously shiny, not unlike a crystal pony. “What is— this is ... aw, fuck,” James, now a gray unicorn, said with belated breathing, the first to ... partially try to talk to the others.

“What the fuck is going on?” Reuben breathed, staring wide eyed at himself.

The last bundle, Taylor, struggled yet, squirming about and panicking, “Oye, I’m stuck! Eep, someone help, I can’t breathe! ¡No puedo respirar!”

Multiple ponies moved in, including Hana. “Oh my, I’ve never seen a crystal pony before ...” some mare from the collective awed, referring to Hana’s semitransparent, crystalline form. Hana, with shaking hooves, tugged the shirt off of Taylor to find a changeling. The changeling bore the same piercings on the ears and right brow as their human body had. While this was a slight relief to Hana, it was a shock and terror to the townsponies, especially when she helped them rise to their hole-filled hooves and remove their no longer tight jeans.

“That was the most terrifying experience de mi vida! It was also the most exciting!” the changeling yelled, looking up at Hana. They looked at her with a half smile for a few more seconds before their smile fell into a gape of sudden understanding and simultaneous loss of any understanding of anything whatsoever. Hana nodded, running a hoof through her long mane.

”Changeling!” somepony finally screamed. Ponies gasped and murmured in surprise, and a few fearfully ran back to their city. The newly ponified people mostly ignored them, aside from Stephen, who shouted for them to think rationally after their murmurs grew in volume.

Reuben moved over to Hana, recognizing her as the only female who fell from the sonic rainboom, and mouthed, “Hana?” with uncertainty. James and Edvarts examined their new forms and played with movement in their new bodies, motions that seemed to be entirely natural despite the transformation from bipeds to quadrupeds.

“Dark unicorns! They’re with the changeling!” a stallion shouted over the crowd when the murmurs grew to chatter.

“The crystal pony! She was foalnapped!” another conspiracy theorist cried out as the chatter turned into an uproar.

“They’re going to take over the world!” a final, dramatic scream before anything distinguishable could no longer be heard over the noise of the confused ponies. Connlaoi gave a resigned sigh accompanied by a face-hoof as Taylor finally realized they were a changeling, to their great amazement.

“Look, if you could just give us a chance to explain,” Hana spoke in her soft lisp, only to be interrupted when some unicorn set off some magical firework over the crowd. Everypony skidded to a halt and slowly got quiet, but those around the ponies who fell from the sky made quick distance.

A mare in a suit appeared on the hill, showing herself as the unicorn who set off the magical display. “Listen, everypony,” she yelled, gathering their attention, “there’s just one changeling, we clearly should not be in a panic over this. Let’s hear them out.” Most of the ponies shook their heads, called out rebelliously (one shouting about how they were all changelings, but only one wasn’t in disguise), or stared fearfully at the newcomers, but a few nodded and praised the decision as the mare moved through them. At some point the human-ponies had gathered in a small cluster from all the pushing and colliding. “Hello, I am the governor of this town. My name is Charisma. May I ask what exactly is going on?”

Several of the group tried to respond at once, making an incomprehensible noise. James then stuffed his face in his hooves as Josh told Connlaoi, “Oh, I was going to speak first ....” Hana shushed Reuben, and Stephen tried to continue to explain to Charisma what was going on at the same time as Taylor.

“—It was so weird, this ... glob of rainbow just sitting there—” Taylor continued, despite the group simultaneously starting in separate places.

“—Then we went off trail because of snakes, I think it was—” Stephen says at the exact same time, muddling their words together.

Edvarts pursed his lips and looked at the ponies around, then chuckled awkwardly as a few gave him stern glares. The rest were eyeing them fearfully. Hana and James both simultaneously shouted “Shut up!” to no avail, only sparking more argument that sent the group into an uproarious mess that Charisma just stared at in bewilderment. Stephen yelled something about how much easier it was to sort through arguments in group chats that could not clearly be heard, and Reuben started swearing at the others, ordering, “Be quiet so we can talk!” afterward.

“Can you all please settle down!?” Charisma asked with the stomp of a hoof, telekinetically dragging the members away from one another. After they separated, she went on to ask, “One answer would be nice. Can you all decide who will speak for the rest?”

Hana tapped Reuben’s unusually dark shoulder, explaining that she would talk, while James, Edvarts, and Connaoi all shared their disinterest in being spokesponies with disapproving words like, “Not it,” “I don’t really care,” and, “I’ll let someone else decide.” Stephen and Josh got into a debate with Taylor about which one of them it should be, their arguments against the non-pony mainly resting on the fact that they were a changeling, which made for poor image. As Taylor laughed and agreed to not, after all, be leader, Reuben finally sat down and folded his forelegs and Hana trotted over to the three bickering ponies, explaining how they should vote on it. Everypony agreed to that and converged as one, silently placing votes.

The innocent bystanders looked at one another as the party organized, confused and puzzled looks shared. Charisma remained on all four hooves, her confident stance and her suit playing to her leader status. All the unicorns sat down except Stephen (who was muttering bitterly about his now pink hair), Taylor the Changeling (now with his satchel hanging around his body) and Hana the Crystal Pony, who each trotted up to Charisma. “The lovely ... mare and I will be representing. The changeling will give his— or its— word that we’re not changelings or evil unicorns or whatever.”

Hana elbowed Stephen, hissing, “Stop saying it like that! You’re making it obvious!” Charisma smiled, motioning a hoof for them to continue. Smiling widely, Hana added, “Yes. So, we were hiking, minding our own business, when we found this rainbowy cloud—”

“— A fire rainbow. At least, it looked like one, though it couldn’t possibly have been one,” Stephen interjected. “Anyway, we all just went into it and came out of the rainboom. Must have been some kind of freak unicorn accident, nothing unusual. And the changeling is our friend.”

Taylor waved a hoof with a smile, saying, “Hola, my name is T—” before Hana shoved a hoof in their mouth.

She nervously laughed, “‘Too hard to pronounce,’ hahah, you’re right about that! Changelings, ya know?”

Charisma stared for a while, humming and pursing her lips in thought. Finally, she gave a sad smile and said, “I’m sorry, I really want to believe you all, but I can’t risk my little town. Dodge City, this place, has faced many threats; we live just inside the Everfree, so you can imagine the kind of predators we get. I don’t mean to sound terribly harsh, but you’ll have to leave.”

Stephen blinked and quickly responded, “A little small for a city ... oh, that’s exactly what we were hoping to do! We don’t want to intrude, going home is our biggie here. If we could just get directions to ... uh, let’s see ....”

“Canterlot,” Hana, the crystal pony, stated. Stephen nodded, and Taylor smiled warmly, their fangs glistening with saliva.

“Oh, well, why didn’t you say so? Hmm, Canterlot’s a bit far from here. You can get there trotting through the forest in that direction,” Charisma pointed to her right, at the middle section of the Everfree, “and taking the train from Ponyville.”

Taylor the changeling perked up, squealing, “Eee, Ponyville!”

Grabbing them by their transparent wings, Stephen dragged Taylor back to the group of ponies as Hana nodded to Charisma, “Thanks, we’ll be going as soon as possible.”

After Stephen explained what exactly had transpired to his friends, the group didn’t debate the decision much. Reuben and Joshua agreed, but everyone else either didn’t care or chose not to voice their preferred alternative.

The town more than willingly walked them to the forest edge after they gathered their belongings, watching them carefully and suspiciously, especially after Connlaoi commented, “You guys are like a pack of vultures.”

“Don’t start them,” Hana scolded, “... whoever you are ....” The dark forest approached, and the escorts dwindled, many not wanting to get close. Eventually, when they were no longer outnumbered, the rest of the ponies seemed to decide they didn’t want to know whether the party was or was not a group of dark wizards, opting to go back. It was at this point that the group decided to take a moment to gather their bearings, no longer held back by the curious gazes of ordinary pony-folk.

“Alright, I suppose now would be a good time to take a moment to gather our bearings, seeing as we’re no longer held back by the curious gazes of ordinary pony-folk,” Stephen said aloud, stopping in front of the Everfree Forest. “So, theories, anyone? Are you all characters within my dream?” Stephen poked his flank, pressing his cutie mark of a target.

“What if I’m the one dreaming? Y’all are the dream nigglets,” Reuben interjected, pointing at Stephen.

Josh suggested, “Maybe this just isn't our reality? I mean, the multiverse theory is a possibility,” with his usual lisp, tilting his head and allowing his violet mane to flop over an eye.

“Well, isn’t it possible that we really did fall through a rainbow portal and turn into ponies?” Taylor suggested, the fangs in their mouth dripping saliva.

Hana rolled her eyes at the conversation, taking a seat beside James, Connlaoi, and Edvarts. “If it wasn't for what happened a few minutes ago, that would have come off as extremely asinine,” Joshua droned.

“Okay, I’ll humour you dream folk,” Stephen declared with a high tone, “How about we solve the mystery of getting back home to our dream families and pretend this is all real? That way, if it is, we don’t mess the world up, and if it isn’t (which it probably is not), we had a fun adventure.”

Taylor nodded excitedly as Hana called, “Adventure!” humorously.

Reuben rolled his eyes and trotted towards Hana, not acknowledging Stephen’s suggestion, while Joshua said, “Well, if we’re going to act like any of this is even real, I’m not sure getting home in a reasonable time will be possible. I mean, we came from a sonic—”

“—Listen up, everybody! Or pony!” Hana called, trotting up to the talking group with Reuben the black unicorn at her side, “It’s decided that we’re going to try to get home. Now, our best bet is to talk to the princesses. To cause the least amount of chaos, we’re going to need pony names, and we need to learn who each of us are. It’s pretty obvious that I’m Hana, since I’m the only mare, and this,” she tapped Reuben’s shoulder, brushing past his black-streaked violet mane, “is Reuben.”

“Hey Reuben, we’re the same colour,” Taylor observed, “oh, I’m Taylor, B.T.W.”

As Reuben stared sternly at Taylor, Joshua spoke up, “CJ here. Or Josh. Or Smitty. Whatever you guys remember me as.” Everyone eventually got up and stated their names, occasionally using aliases that the rest better remembered them as. James was the last, standing up and towering over everyone with his large, horse-like form.

“Okay, now that we vaguely know each other, we need to decide pony names,” Hana continued, closing her eyes and nodding in agreement with her own words.

Stephen rolled his eyes, stating, “Eh, I’m just not going to have one. I don’t care to be absorbed by their ridiculous culture.”

James grunted in agreement, while Joshua pointed out, “Well, not all of us have cutie marks.” Everypony at that moment looked down at their flanks, including Taylor, who then fell over giggling. Eventually, they came to realize only three of them actually had cutie marks: the unicorns Stephen, James, and Joshua. “Mine is pretty cool, I guess,” he continued after most of the group settled down, “I mean, I know I play games a lot, but to have it as my one special talent is a bit disappointing. What can I do if I’m best at gaming?” referring to his cutie mark of ‘Level-Up’ special effects.

“Game-testing. And YouTubing,” Reuben stated, “You can get paid for doing a lot of that.”

“Well, I don’t have a good mic, or a decent computer. Remember the amount of times I asked you what to do when it started glitching out? And even if I did—”

“— A target? My cutie mark is a target?” Stephen said over Josh. “Oh, for my accuracy in ... things. Does that apply to math and facts as well, or just, er, projectiles?” he asked himself.

Taylor bounded over to James as Hana tried to argue with Stephen that they needed names. “Ed?” they asked James, looking up at him expectantly.

“Nope,” James replies, “Observer. Or James. Or whatever floats.”

“Oh, darn! It’s hard to tell because you’re all unicorns. I should have known, though; you’re still taller than everyone here. Anyway, what’s your cutie mark all about? It kinda just looks like a bunch of lines and arrows.”

James kept his head up, but looked at Taylor out of the corner of his eye as he said, “Well it’s that Observer’s Eye I use all the time … isn’t that just quaint. I guess it means I can see everything; angles, perspectives, reasoning, bull shit like that. And I can see that I’m now about twice your size, and that you wouldn’t put up much of a fight for anything ... not that that’s new.”

Taylor cried out as James shoved them back and trotted to the forest edge, sitting beside a tree and staring into the woods quietly. Taylor picked up some objects that fell from their satchel. “Okay, clearly this isn’t going to work,” Hana shouted, catching the party’s attention, “We can name each other, since none of us know what to name ourselves.”

“Why do you have the power to decide that?” Stephen interjected, pursing his lips and furrowing his brows.

Hana sighed in exasperation and responded, “Because I’m the only one suggesting any plan here,” in her usual slight lisp.

“Actually, I was the one who said we try to go home,” Stephen butted in, standing on all fours.

“Why don’t we just hold off on names for now?” Taylor suggested, bounding back up to the group. “We still have to go through the Everfree.”

Hana shook her head, explaining, “That’s too risky. The second we run into another pony, or a certain zebra who lives in this forest, they’ll be suspicious about why none of us have names.”

“Hana, this is getting us nowhere. No one wants to agree or listen right now, so we can compromise,” Reuben whispered to the crystal pony.

“This is absolute chaos,” Connlaoi muttered, following James’ lead and hanging out by the forest, resting his head on his hooves against a tree and looking up at the light blue sky. “If we’re going to go, better sooner than later,” he called to the arguing ponies.

Stephen nodded, saying, “I’m going to go to Ponyville now. If you guys want to stay and bicker, be my guests,” before trotting over to James and Connlaoi. Taylor shrugged apologetically at Hana and followed Stephen. Edvarts, Joshua, and Reuben all looked at Hana expectantly, each in their own way.

Sighing with resignation, Hana muttered, “Alright, let’s go with them ....” At this point, everypony was lined up at the forest, and Stephen, with a shrug, trudged in immediately. Everyone followed, some more reluctantly than others, and eventually fell back into disagreement.

“Does this mean Stephen is our leader?” Taylor asked aloud before getting slapped in the face with a leaf.

“Probably,” Joshua shrugged.

Stephen cleared his throat ahead of them, saying, “If you’re all okay with it, sure.”

“Actually, I’m not,” Reuben yelled from near the back of the party, raising his head as he jumped over a gnarly root. “I think it should be Hana. She’s been doing a lot of our organizing and stuff.”

“I thought we decided that both the green unicorn and the mare were our leaders when we voted at the town,” Edvarts added.

Connlaoi groaned as his friends once again fell into disharmony. Stephen froze, causing everyone to crash into one another and fall over as a huge growl shook the leaves around them. The growl turned into a deep, resonating laugh. The forest around the ponies seemed to frost over, ice crystals forming around the ponies. “Discord,” the deep voice rumbled, “Hatred.”

“Oh no, a beast of the Everfree!” Taylor screamed, burrowing their head beneath Joshua, who struggled against them.

“Who are you!?” Reuben called out, jumping to his hooves and glaring around. There was no monstrous response, but the forest continued to freeze around the group, growing colder as flakes began to form on their coats.

Stephen pulled himself up and said, “Quick, run!” and tried to gallop forward. He was just as quickly stopping when a tree’s branches curved and froze in his path, blocking him from that direction. When he tried to change directions, the trees glowed and bent their branches together, creating a dome the trapped the group in. Above, clouds formed, casting out almost all light.

“Your hearts will freeze over with anger,” the voice boomed overhead as snow began to fall.

“Uh, okay, what Everfree creature from the show did this? I don’t remember anything that made the forest icy ...” Hana thought aloud, eyes darting about as she looked all around her.

“Absolutely nothing.” James responded in a short manner, forming a smile at what everyone took as certain peril.

Reuben nodded, adding, “The giant horse is right. There was nothing in this forest that did this. It’s a Wendigo from that Hearth’s Warming episode. They must have came here after all those years.”

Realization dawned on the faces of multiple ponies. “Ahah!” Taylor cried out. “All we have to do is love one another! Hurry, let’s all make up before we turn into pony-cicles!” they blurted before hugging the nearest pony, who happened to be the again resistant Josh.

Shivering, Hana shook her head, snow and ice crystals falling from her form. “We have to get out!” she yelled over the now swirling winds that filled their confinement. “Unicorn magic! Try something!”

Joshua gasped with enlightenment, saying, “Yeah! We were able to start walking as though we’d done it our whole lives in these bodies; surely magic should work just as easily.”

Connlaoi chewed his lip, muttering something about how it couldn’t hurt to try before lowering his head and concentrating on the concept of magic. Joshua, Reuben, Stephen, and Edvarts all followed their lead, grunting as they each successively flushed in the face. Nothing seemed to happen, other than the last of the grass being covered with ice. Stephen stumbled over after trying to lift a hoof and headbutted a wall, spearing straight through it. “It’s weak!” he called with his head on the other side of the foliage.

Taylor quickly galloped forward and leapt into a wall of branches, bouncing off it with a choked cough and landing on their side, hugging their satchel. Reuben flared his nostrils and charged forward, pounding into a wall and smashing a hole in it. Quickly, the party all filed through it, escaping the frozen prison that could have been their resting place. They continued to run through the forest, not looking back or waiting to see if the Wendigo was chasing after them. Eventually somepony tripped, and the rest ending up bowling over as well. “We ... almost ... died,” rasped Joshua.

Gasping between each word, Taylor retorted, “I think we would have made it if we just chose to accept and love each other ....”

“Whatever,” Hana grumbled, brushing dirt off her sparkly coat. “We need to keep going, the Wendigo could be following us.”

Stephen nodded, gulping in a deep breath and beginning to trot forward again, moving swiftly through the woods. The party followed closely, all silent and each determined not to be the one who lagged behind. It was a few minutes before conversation started up again. “First we hiked up a mountain, now we’re exploring a forest. Are we going to keep travelling all the way to Ponyville?” Reuben asked.

“We have to, resting here is not a good idea,” Stephen replied, looking over his shoulder with a determined expression.

Reuben half-closed his eyes, retorting, “I was talking to Hana.”

“I think we can stop here. We should build a camp, or see if we can get up into the trees to avoid trouble,” Hana gave her input.

Stephen grit his teeth. “Does anyone here even know how to survive in the wilderness?” Connlaoi asked as the group slowed down.

“Yo.” James responded from a bit behind, lagging behind in his own casual canter, not seeming as worn out or worried as the rest of the group.

“... I think we should keep going ... this forest is really, really scary,” Taylor squeaked, trotting at a near crawl, their belly brushing against the fallen foliage.

“Well my feet are killing me,” Joshua complained, exaggerating the effort of his steps to prove his point, “Or hooves. Whatever.”

“Then that’s a majority so far. Let’s vote on it. Raise a hoof if you want to exhaustedly wander through the Everfree Forest,” Hana declared a nearly insignificant lisp. Stephen groaned at Hana and raised his hoof, accompanied by Connlaoi and Taylor. “The nays have it. Okay, James, how do we not die in the woods?”

“Well,” the weathered woodsman began, moving out from the group to take a position clear to everyone as he spoke. “First we kill off all the weaklings in the group who will slow us down and only take up food and warmth, and use them as a source of sustenance for the immediate future. I say we use Taylor. He’s a bug, so he probably tastes like chicken.”

“Eh, without the cannibalistic part, please,” Hana reiterated as Taylor puffed out their cheeks, “Food can wait, I was talking more about shelter, fire, or whatever.”

James inhaled and shook his head as the breath came out in laughter, sighing as he looked back over the group. “I can never have a light bit of humor… am I the only person here putting things together? Hmm?” he asked, lowering his hind legs to sit down on the leaf-lined dirt.

The sound of a chicken clucking interrupted the group, causing Taylor to scream. Hana fell over, clacking on the ground with her now entirely stone body. Reuben narrowed his eyes, stepping toward a glowing half-snake, half-chicken that revealed itself from behind a bush, and roared in challenge, “Alright, enough of that love and friendship shit,” before charging with his eyes closed. Reuben seemed to be about to say something more before the cockatrice sank its sharp teeth into his shoulder as he galloped by. He gasped and fell over, rolling over with the cockatrice and pulling it under his body, his eyes still clenched shut. “Rah,” Reuben shouted, slamming his whole weight into it to keep it pinned to the ground, “turn her back!”

Most of the equines either stared in surprise or were too put off to stare, aside from James, who smiled slightly at the action. The cockatrice hissed and writhed beneath him, tugging at his shoulder with its teeth. After Reuben yelled several profanities at the cockatrice and maintained his pin, Taylor, who had previously covered his face with his hooves to avoid seeing the violence, cried out, “No, stop! It’s a predator, it just needs to eat! We can work out a deal with it, or talk to it! Reuben, if we hurt it, how do we get it to turn Hana back!?” with tears streaming down his exoskeletal cheeks.

Just after Reuben yelled back, “Fluttershy could talk to it, we can’t,” Joshua accidentally locked eyes with the cockatrice and turned to stone.

Stephen tapped Josh with a worried expression. “Er, I’m not saying I agree with Taylor, but try not to kill the thing. I’m pretty sure we need it to save Hana and ... this guy,” Stephen nervously said aloud.

Finally, the cockatrice wriggled out from under Reuben, simultaneously releasing its toothy grip. Immediately, it flew into the trees, disappearing. “Fuck!” Reuben roared, pounding the ground and running back to Hana’s statue. “Hana? Hana!”

While Taylor rubbed tears from his eyes, the largest unicorn’s smile fell. Connlaoi muttered a swear as Reuben continued to try to interact with Hana in vain. After a minute of nothing, Stephen addressed the group, saying, “It’ll be okay, there’s surely a cure, either in the form of a potion or a spell. We just need to get to Ponyville, then everything will be fine ....”

Edvarts nodded, agreeing alongside the others. “We’re gonna have to leave them here,” Connlaoi groaned, referring to the stone ponies.

“No, I’m staying,” Reuben grunted firmly, locking eyes with Connlaoi sternly while Stephen nodded in agreement. Then, miraculously, Joshua and Hana came to life, each surprised by their change of surroundings. “Han’-Han’!” Reuben sighed with relief, hugging her on the ground as she asked what had happened.

There was no time to explain, however, as the group was then interrupted by a feral growl. A pack of timberwolves came out of the trees, each with their shimmering, wooden bodies. There were about a dozen, each staying in formation to surround the group of ponies. “Oh come on, we’ve only been in Equestria for twenty minutes tops and everything wants to kill us,” Joshua cried out in frustration. Reuben stood over Hana protectively, leering darkly at the wolves of his side.

“Predators,” Taylor hissed to their friends, “they just want something to eat. Unless we’re in their territory. If we just try to communicate ....”

Edvarts kicked one of the timberwolves with his hind legs, knocking loose one of its joints. James immediately joined in the action, tackling one and savagely pulling it apart with his teeth while Connlaoi shouted obscenities as he punched the nose of one who locked its jaw around his fore leg. Taylor ducked to the floor, putting their hooves over their head in fear. Stephen punched one in the face while Joshua galloped around the group, a particularly big timberwolf following him. Reuben smashed through one, sending its no longer glowing limbs in all directions after charging from several yards away while the rest of the group (excluding Taylor) fought with just as much ease. “I guess wooden constructs are delicate ...” Hana gasped, standing in the wood-filled clearing after the fight ended.

“This is enough wood to build a cabin,” Joshua remarked, lifting a branch and letting it fall back to the ground.

Taylor opened one eye and said, “... Well, I suppose this isn’t really murder since timberwolves regenerate ...” after a lot of thought.

“Oh shit,” Stephen yelped, “I forgot that they come back together!” Almost everyone held their breath and looked at the twigs and sticks in anticipation. Nothing happened. “... Or not ....”

“Maybe they just don’t do it as fast as they do in the show?” Taylor suggested with a hopeful voice, cradling a bundle of sticks.

“Well. The amount of time between smashing and reforming wasn’t exactly made clear. Transitions and shit.” James chimed in, recalling the episode. “... I guess we have some firewood,” he added, trying to look on the brighter side of the situation.

Taylor quickly gave their input, “Well, I mean, why ‘stick’ around and find out how long it takes for them to come back to life and tear the flesh off our bones? Let’s just, y’know, skedaddle. I really don’t want to be in this forest anymore ....” Joshua groaned and shoved his face into his hooves, agonizing over Taylor’s play on words.

“James has the right idea; burning them will probably stop them for good, plus it gives us needed supplies,” Hana agreed, brushing dirt from her coat.

Taylor became even more desperate, jumping to their hooves and stuttering, “W-Well, I mean, this is a lot of wood to burn, a-and these trees are so densely placed that we’re bound to start a forest fire ....”

“Yo, quit trying to shove your hippie ways on us. We can create all the CO2 and kill all the predators we want; they’re nowhere near extinction as far as I can tell, and Equestria doesn’t seem to be teeming with factories. Besides, this was self defense, and a single campfire isn’t going to send the planet spiraling into global warming,” Reuben said to the changeling, already moving the wood to a pile.

Joshua shrugged, agreeing, “Yeah, I dunno Taylor, I think burning them is our best bet. If they come back to life while we do it, we can just take them apart again.”

“‘Sides,” Connlaoi added around the piece of wood he carried in his mouth, “Dig a small pit, surround it with rocks, we got a safe firepit.”

Taylor frantically looked around as everypony began gathering wood. They began picking up sticks as well, though in a much faster manner. Then Taylor waited until nopony was looking their way and stuffed them into their satchel and repeated this process, trying to save as many as they could. It took some time, but the sticks had all eventually been placed in the center of a cluster of trees, towering at the height of James himself, or perhaps taller even. “Er, so how do we start a fire?” Stephen asked, tapping his chin with a hoof.

“Through quite a few ways. In fact, it's ideal to have multiple ways on hand. Currently, though … we only have one as far as I can gather. Alright, uh …” James said as he gathered his thoughts, “okay, we’ll need a few things. Stephen,” The horse sized pony said, looking toward the pony he thought was his British acquaintance, “Tinder. Look for twigs about the length of … uh ...” James looked over his hoof, no longer having a legitimate manner to explain the estimate, “just, try for ones about diameter of your hoof. Enough to fill up your … mouth, I guess.” he ordered, struggling to convey the necessary amounts and sizes.

The teal unicorn replied, “Sure, but I’m going to guess on how many can ‘fill my mouth.’ Hooves seem to be able to carry things just fine,” before turning around and facing a random bush.

Reuben turned to Hana and asked, “Hey, I don’t wanna alarm you, but does this look bad?” while pointing at the still-bleeding puncture wounds in his shoulder before collapsing.

Hana gasped and yelped, “Reuben!?” Hana groaned in frustration, saying, “Okay, it’s okay, I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” and gingerly touching the edges of his wound. Suddenly, her crescent pendant began to vibrate, and her hoof glowed over his blood-plastered shoulder. The area seemed to get slightly darker, almost as though night was approaching, and Hana pulled her leg away, squeaking in surprise. Reuben looked down as his shoulder as the forest grew bright again.

“What. The fuck?” he grumbled, placing a hoof on his now healed shoulder.

“Hana, your cutie mark,” Taylor gasped, pointing at Hana’s flank, which now adorned the image of the pendant she wore, but in yellow.

“Problem solved.” James said from a fair distance away, having watched the magical display with a bit of bewilderment, taking things in stride as they’ve occurred.

Stephen’s jaw dropped. “H-How ... what? How is it that literally the only one here without a horn used magic?” Hana looked between her pendant and her cutie mark with sparkling eyes, murmuring to herself in astonishment.

“Argh, I don’t get you!” a familiar voice shouted from behind the group. They turned to find Charisma, the leader of the town they had left behind not long ago. Behind her were two exhausted unicorns, one a stallion and the other a mare, each dragging their hooves and sweating profusely as the group cantered up to the ponified humans. “You failed every single test, fought the entire journey, but never once changed your forms! Friendship, negotiation, submission; the only one who is obviously a changeling seems to be the most pony-like! Who are you!?”

Everypony stared quietly for a moment. Then, Hana stomped up to the mare and coldly growled, “Are you saying that you’ve been stalking us and attacking us with fake monsters this entire time?” Charisma, apparently highly disheveled, nodded cautiously. “Do you realize the amount of pain and stress you put us through? My boyfriend literally lost so much blood that he couldn’t stand anymore. All this to find out if we’re changelings? Do you realize how racist you are to think that all changelings will be the exact same, all evil and blood-sucky?” Her menacing tone seemed to entirely drown out her already almost unnoticeable lisp.

Charisma gulped and seemed to shrink as her unicorn lackies snuck back into the forest, fleeing toward Dodge City. “... Are you changelings ...?”

“I swear, I could just hit you right now, but that would be stooping down to your level. If we ever hear you terrorizing ponies like this again, there will be a problem. Got that?” Hana hissed at Charisma. The unicorn nodded before taking off, galloping away. James whistled and grinned at Hana as she returned to the party.

“Y’know, it was pretty obvious that she was behind this the whole time,” James muttered to the ponies. They collectively shouted arguments before he continued, “I mean, the way she acted in town was obviously off, and every single obstacle we face was just poorly put together. A wendigo couldn’t talk and would never be in a forest, a cockatrice would have to be pretty dumb to take on a whole group if they normally only stalk lonely prey, plus the curse only lasted a few minutes, and timberwolves don’t just fall apart that easily. It was all pretty shabby, though the special effects were okay.” He then shrugged.

As multiple ponies expressed their frustration, Taylor spoke up, “Y’know, I don’t mean to sound demeaning, but Charisma was kind of right about us. I mean, we’re not changelings, but we do fight a lot ....”

“What did you expect? We haven’t talked in years and suddenly we’re all stranded on a new planet in new bodies. I would be surprised if we acted all peachy and warm,” Joshua scoffed.

“No, no, Taylor’s right, we have been really pissy,” Hana admitted, rubbing her neck.

Taylor gave a pitiful smile, explaining, “Even though we’re in this really stressful situation, we’re still friends. We may not have talked in a long time, but at least we weren’t stranded here by ourselves, or at least with absolute strangers. We still have each other.” They then hugged Hana, who returned the hug with an apology. The rest of the group (aside from James, who turned around and silently stared off into the forest) joined in, creating a group hug.

“But seriously, what the fuck is up with my new cutie mark?” Hana said after a minute. Taylor’s satchel fell to the floor and a mass of sticks tumbled out.

Author's Note

Written by Brony Pony, edited by GlitterNight, and illustrated by Brony Pony.