Once Upon a Reyn

by Shadowbot739

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 2253

There are some words that should never be said.

Forbidden words have been said. They will never be said again. This is a tale that will only be said once, then it will be forbidden to even speak of it.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-23 15:03:43 UTC

That Day

It was a bright sunny day in Ponyville and the ponies went about their business without much of a care. They had no idea what was going to happen this day. No idea at all. If one would to look up to the sky and observe very closely, they would see a book falling from very high in the sky. No one to this day know why this book fell, not even I know why.

This book was very simple, just a blue, hardback book. This color could be why this cyan mare, known as Rainbow Dash, did not notice the book as it fell in her flight path. When they intercepted, both of their paths detoured greatly.

While this happened, the mare, Twilight Sparkle was having a pleasant stroll through town. This was not to last, nothing pleasant ever does for Twilight. She really shouldn’t have cheated on that test all those years ago. The act forever cursed her, but that is a story for another day.

Now, despite all those times things have came out of the sky and hit Twilight, she doesn’t watch the skies nearly enough to indicate she learned her lesson. Due to this fact, Rainbow and the unknown book crashed into her, hard.

“Rainbow!” Twilight yelled at her friend once she got her wits back together.

“Sorry Twilight” Rainbow Dash responded sheepishly while rubbing the back of her head. “I something came out of nowhere and hit me.”

“What?” Twilight’s frustration melted immediately and became concern. “What hit you? Are you okay?”

“It takes more than a little…uhh...” Rainbow trailed off as she took a moment to find the book that will soon bring ruin and picked it up. “A book?... Yeah! It takes more than a book to keep me down.”

“Who would throw a book at you?... I never seen this book before…” Twilight took the book from Rainbow with her magic and looked at the cover of the book closely. “What kind of title is this?” Twilight asked herself once she learned the title of this dangerous book.

“What the book is called doesn’t matter, we need to find that pony who threw this book at me and return the favor.” Rainbow Dash says with anger.

“We’ll find the pony and tell them what they did wrong later, but what irks me more is the title of this book, You Will Know My Name, what kind of title is that?”

“Just open it and find out” Rainbow groaned.

Opened the book the alicorn did and by opening that book, she doomed us all. When she read those forbidden lines, those four words. To this day, those four words been banned from being spoken. If a pony even considers going through the act, they will be jailed without trial. Forget freedom of speech, these words just cannot be spoken, ever. She spoke the words “Once Upon A Reyn.” The only words on the page. The only ones in the entire book.

At first the ponies just stared at the page, confused, but it wasn’t to last. Suddenly, black clouds flooded the skies and rain started to pour. This wasn’t any ordinary rain. This rain was like colors of a rainbow.

The two ponies, along with the rest of ponyville first suspected Discord was the cause of this storm, even I did, but we were wrong. Soon a hole in the clouds opened up, showing a rainbow portal and when it fully opened, music started to play. This Music was banned from ever being played in equestria, just like those 4 words.

Then, he showed up. Then, he came out of the portal. This being, who still baffles us to this day. Landed in front of Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash. They first saw the armor of this humanoid. This armor was a green full plate armor. This creature’s armor was clearly the work of the gods. All of it, but there was the lack of pants. This… male creature had what looks like a tribal skirt of the old days of ponykind as pants. All else was correct, even the armored boots.

Once the observation of the armor was complete. The two ponies looked upon the pale face. The smile. The brown eyes and hair. That sight is forever burned into our minds. If one were to draw this face, they will face banishment, no, imprisonment where they were banished to.

Then he spoke, the words that was also forbidden to be spoken, “now it’s Reyn time!”

At that moment, Twilight Sparkle’s castle collapsed into rubble. The clouds cleared up, and the nearest Tree exploded. Despite what just happened, Rainbow Dash managed to get her wits back together.

“Hey! What are you doing here attacking Ponyville?” Rainbow Dash demanded.

The creature turned his head towards Rainbow and his eyes locked on her mane. Then, with blinding speed, he uppercutted her into orbit while yelling “bone upper!” It was three months later when Rainbow Dash finally landed.

It took Twilight Sparkle a full five minutes to realize what just happened and tried to blast the creature with all her power, but she should’ve known better. The magical blast did collide with him, but it just bounced off and annihilated whitetail woods.

Of course like typical Twilight, she used all of her energy in the blast she fell over in exhaustion. In her last moments, she asked the creature why he launched her friend into orbit. The response she got was this: “You can’t have a rainbow without Reyn.” Then the alicorn promptly passed out.

The creature, having ran out of reasons to stay in that spot, walked off to another location within ponyville. He soon came across an apple farm. Quickly after, he took off several apples off the trees and ate them, but that summoned the guardian of the apple trees, Applejack.

“What are you doing stealing them apples?” The apple farmer questioned.

“Let’s not lose our heads, though” the creature responded.

“Wha…? Are you the one who caused the explosion earlier?”

The creature just stood there for moment, but then he suddenly started running forward at Applejack. She took this as a threat and turned around to buck him, but suddenly a strange weapon appeared in his right hand. It looked like a jousting rod, but with a shield attached to it.

He then yelled “guard shift” and brought the shield portion to block the mare’s attack and the recoil staggered her. Before she could recover, the creature then yelled “wild down” while slamming her to the ground, knocking her out.

The thing backed up and somehow attached the weapon to his back. He then promptly walked off to another location within the town, but not before a strange item appeared on the farm mare. It looked like a carrot, but it was bulky and squishy like meat. This item eventually became known as the Meaty Carrot. They started to show up at the most random moments since then.

Slowly, he was taking down the greatest fighters of the town that is apparently untrained teenagers and we lack guards despite the need for them with the monster infested forest right next to us.

The next victim would be the dressmaker, Rarity. Whom was fixing her mane from the storm that happened before, but she never did expect the creature to walk through her bedroom wall, that was on the second floor. When she saw it, she screamed. The scream was not because of the smile. It wasn’t because of the fact he walked through a second story wall. It was because of the pants. The pants that were so out of place that even we would buy him pants if we could.

When it comes to fashion travesties, Rarity gains a large boost in power for reasons unknown to us. She jumped into action to make the creature pants. The pants he so dearly needs.

“Aura burst!” the creature suddenly yelled and soon after, waves of purple energy flowed out of him. The effect was instant, Rarity lost all her energy to create the pants and collapsed. It was said that the creature had shed a tear at that moment, like he wanted the pants too.

Frustration flashed on his face for a moment, before returning to the smile. He took out the weapon again and spun in a circle with it and yelled “war swing!” There was nothing left of Rarity’s home and business. She herself was later replaced by a clone. Spike never found out.

That was now four elements gone. Only two remained. We never found out what this vile fiend wanted with our town. I personally don’t want to know what he wanted. We’ve been scared enough from what he did, why would we want to suffer what his full intentions were.

The creature eventually came across one who could handle gazing upon his startling appearance, Pinkie Pie. The pink pony and the creature stared at each other in the barren streets of the town for what it seemed to be hours. Then suddenly, Pinkie, not the creature, started to do some sort of dance around him. This dance became known as the forbidden dance. It was too outrageous to be called anything else and it wasn’t actually forbidden. The dance just cannot be performed by anyone else.

The creature watched the pink mare as she danced. Then, something happened. He started to laugh. A laugh that pierce your soul, but that wasn’t the real thing. He said something. Something that actually didn’t inflict pain, destruction, or even environmental damage. “Man, what a buncha jokers” was what he said.

Pinkie’s plan, whatever it was, was clearly not working. So she decided to start to hop off to find something that would work. At least, we think she was doing that. When she turned the creature clearly did not like it. He brought his weapon out again.

“Engage! Mad taunt!” He yelled in quick succession.

There was a strange aura that flowed out of the creature and washed over Pinkie Pie and it compelled her to charge at him, or in this case hop at him… with a cannon. The creature took action and brought the shield portion of his weapon to bare.

“Gotta focus on... guarding. Anchor Chain!” he yelled as the cannon rapidly fired high density cupcakes at him. The impacts threatened to knock him back, but whatever power he released kept him in place.

When the cannon ran out of ammo, the creature took advantage of the moment and charged at Pinkie. The mare was too shocked to see any living thing be resistance to cupcakes to move.

“Get outta ‘ere, sword drive!” he yelled as he rammed his weapon into her sending her off into the distance.

“Pinkie Pie, blasting off again!” The pink pony yelled as she became a spec in the horizon.

Now there was one. There was only one pony left to stop the horribly dressed menace. The problem was that Fluttershy could never stand up to the creature. So she hid away in her home as he marched down the path.

As rightly done, almost all of the animals ran away. All, but one rabbit. A white rabbit known as Angel stood upon the bridge before the cottage. The poor thing deserved many punishments, but the kick he received from the creature was not one of those.

“Who else wants some!” The tribal skirt wearing creature yelled.

When he kicked Angel, it set Fluttershy’s anger lose. She ripped the door of the hinges and confronted the creature with The Stare. It was at this moment a sign of hope have appeared for the town. He actually started to lose power and fell to one knee, but it was not to last.

“This is it. Last Stand!” he yelled and suddenly he regained all of his energy. Along with the energy he gained, a pair of sunglasses fell from the sky and landed perfectly over his eyes. The Stare became powerless.

The butter yellow pony’s anger fell away into fear and she curled up into a ball. The last hope for ponyville was defeated. The creature stood over her with that blank smile upon his face. He then opened his mouth to yell another of his frightening powers.

Suddenly, a portal opened up and another creature of similar build came out, but that is where the similarities ended. This… being had nothing upon his beautiful upper torso. He had real pants that were jet black. Then there was his hair, the magnificent flowing brown hair. This one was the embodiment of beauty.

“Steel Strike!” the beautiful creature yelled as he struck the tormentor of the town. The strike knocked him back and the one of beauty stepped in front of Fluttershy as her defender.

It took the ugly one moments to catch his breath, but then he spoke “Hey! Why you punch me?”

“You deserve it Reyn!” The beautiful one yelled. “You are coming with me.”

The magnificent haired one then grabbed the one who caused all our troubles by the ear and dragged him through the portal. When the portal closed a cherry blossom tree grew in its place. With that, the day ended in peace and the very next day, statues of the beautiful one was built all over Equestria and he was put down into history as Super Smokin’ Ultra Sexy Hot Man Deluxe Mark II Gold Edition.