Gods of a Different Kind

Plans are for Idiots

        "Has this place always been a wasteland?"

        "Nope."

        "Thank you for your insightful wisdom, without you the worlds would be a dark and dangerous abyss of simpletons and hooligans."

        "I love how you tried to confuse me with your ingenuous use of language in such a Vernacularistic way. Please tell me, did you stay up all night coming up with that? For it must have taken eons to invent such an astute observation. Perhaps I could point you in the direction of a thesaurus, it may help you come up with elaborate words of wisdom."

        DAMNIT he even has a sharp tongue, how the hell am I going to best him? The only way I can think of it now is if I fought him, but without my strength I wont stand a chance. I am little more then mortal right now.

        ***

        "We have been walking for hours..."

        "Hmmm yes indeed we have, how perceptive of you" Licens said using a fake accent, I swear if this guy hadn't saved me I would have kicked his ass... well I would if I had my powers.

        "Do you know why I can't use my powers?"

        "I suppose it has something to do with that book, I reckon if we destroy it all the magic it has cast will be forfeit. But if that isn't it then I have no idea. But I have heard of Dead Wind researching a type of poison that takes power from gods for a limited amount of time."

        "So how did you get here"

        "That is for me to know, and for you to find out" Licens said in a pretend sultry voice, while leaping into a nearby tree. At least he still has his powers, or else we would be, pardon my language. Royally Fucked.

        "So any plans..."

        "Yup." Licens said while swinging from the dead tree.

        "Will you tell me?"

        "Yes I will.."

        "Just tell me the damn plan..."

        "Nope, not fellin' it"

        "Come on just tell me the plan..."

        "Say the magic words..."

        "How about I stick my foot so far up your ass you'll be coughin' it up"

        "Hmm... good luck with that. Because where I am standing it appears I have the advantage, you know. I am the only one with any magical properties, and along with my godly strength you don't stand a chance... but if you want to try and stick your foot up my ass be my guest. It might be fun kicking your ass."

        "We are not going to progress unless you tell me the plan..."

        "I know, but I have time to kill."

        "Your an enormous ass you know that right?"

        "Indeed I do. And that's why you wuv me"

        "I hate you so much..."

        "I love you too bro"

        ***

        "Please..." I barely whispered.

        "Hmmm what was that?"

        "Please" I said a little louder.

        "Sorry I couldn't quite hear that"

        "Please" I said more forcefully.

        "Sorry couldn't quite catch that last part..."

        "PLEASE" I nearly yelled.

        "Pa-pa-please what?"

        "PLEASE tell me the plan..."

        "Ok if you insist"

        ***

        "No..."

        "yes"

        "I am not doing that"

        "If you want to leave you will."

        "He will KILL ME"

        "Oh don't be a baby, death isn't so bad. Or so I've heard. Anyway it is the only way we can get out of here"

        "Why don't you do it?"

        "Oh lets see... I dunno... maybe because if you try to act out my part you will royally fail due to you lacking magic of any kind, shape, or form."

        "The hate I am feeling in this one moment cannot compare to what the hate of a thousand mortals feel in a thousand years and-"

        "Yeah yeah blah blah, now go do your part."

        "How the hell are we going to get him here anyway..."

        "Don't worry all will be taken care of."