Gods of a Different Kind

Pride

I was standing up, I had been sitting far too long.

        "Ok... lets play twenty questions..."

        "Erhh, no thank yeh'"

        "Come on, we have been on this train for who knows how long. I could already be at your farm by now"

        "So yeh' say you can go faster then a train?"

        "Uhh.... yeah. I am a god, and part of being a god involves being a complete and total badass"

        "Hey now you listen ere', I don't approve o' cursin'. And yah' should quit it or I'll knock you one"

        "Excuse me, but did the cowgirl just tell a god what they can and can't do? I am still not above causing accidents involving those who displease me."

        "Is tha' a threat"

        No, it's a promise." Inside my mind I couldn't help but yell 'looks like we got a badass ova' here'.

        "Why you..."

        "Ummm... if you don't mind could you both just umm... I don't know get along... if that's not to much to ask."

        "Sure Fluttershy." she eeped, what do I have to give her a warning if I'm going to say something? Ahh well guess I'll find something to do for mental stimulation... Ahh I know...

        "Does anyone have any gems? Or know where I can find some on this train?"

        "I have some in my saddle darling, but why would you need them?"

        "I'll just say that it involves a little godly power like my own. Ever heard of stereos?"

        She scoffed as if offended "I must say I have, but what does a stereo have to do with anything?" she said while handing over a few sparkling gems, I looked through the pile for the right kind. Ahh good they have Callaina(turquoise)

        I held the blue stone up In the air, I concentrated my power, forcing the gem to condense in upon itself. It grew steadily smaller and smaller until it reached about the size of a pea. I then pushed at the gem from the inside out, causing it to expand. Once it neared its original size I imbeded it with some of my memories, the memories of music. I had a liking of the music from different dominions, as my worlds culture was scarcely beyond the iron age despite my best work to move it forward.

        "What did you do darling?"

        "See for your self" I said as I grasped the gem from the air, I thought of the particular music I want to listen to, as it began sounding throughout the cabin. It started as an almost low hum, then became steadily louder the longer I touched it with power.

        I then started the music over, so they can get the full felling of The Pretender.

        "What never heard of the foo fighters?" I said jokingly, there would be no way they could know about them unless they came from this place called "earth".

        "OH  I love them, they are like in my top one hundred of music I have, it has been so long since I've heard them. I like haven't heard them since I was born."

        You got to be kidding me...

        Ok no, screw it. Don't question Pinkie. Her very existence is one big "Fu** physics".

        Hey man I added some physics to your physics so you can physics while you physics'... AHHH. This is going to be a long ride.

        ***

        I looked down on the soil, good I suppose. It seems to be naturally good soil. Although they are not doing much to take care of it.

        "Hey cowgirl, where's your compost pile?"

        "My whatsit'?"

        "compost pile, you know. The place where you put your rotten food, dead leafs, and such."

        "Umm... We don't ave' one o' those."

        "Hmmm, surprised your still in business then"

        "Now wait just ah' minute" I tried to interrupt her but she barreled on through ", the Apples are hard workin' country folk that prosper through hard work. We don't need some fancy gimmick tah' be successful" Great, guess I'll have to knock her down a couple of pegs to get her to listen.

        "Your growing is faulty, your taking from the ground but not giving back, if you don't return to the earth what you have been given it will give less and less. Until nothing will grow here. A composite pile is designed to do that. You put your unwanted biodegradable goods in there, allow them to rot. Then use it as fertilizer. Do you think you know more then a god of earth? Farming IS in my domain of influence"

        "Why you,"

        "You seem to be good at detecting lies, is what I just told you a lie? Or will you allow your own pride to stand in the way of the success of your family name?"

        She stayed silent. I seem to do that to a lot of people. Man, I miss Taurus. He was by far one of my more successful children. He had quite a tongue on him, I remember when we used to get into arguments for kicks and giggles. Too bad Demi-gods don't live much longer then normal. The past five hundred years have been long without him. I might have gotten over him sooner if Dead Winds Demi-god child hadn't killed him.

        During my time of reminiscence Applejack had been walking away grumbling about something. Well, if she wont listen I'll move on. There is other business I need to take care of.

        ***

        "Hey Big Macintosh, mind doin' me a favor?"

        "hmmm... nnope"

        "Alright could you give me the information of any other apple family relatives? The Apple family is Equestria's primary food provider so I need to send messages to them on how to renovate their farming"

        "Eeyup... I'll get it to you tomorrow"

        "Thanks Mac"

        "Eeyup"

        Well that went wonderfully Big Mac is my kind of guy.

        ***

        Ok well I'll be honest, I haven't really planed things out. Yeah I'll know what I'll do when I get there but... how do I get there alive? I really should have gotten off of the train at the train stop instead of barreling out part way there. I wanted to make an amazing impression on the occupants of ponyville. And i would be harder to do that if I got off the train with Equestria's finest. Well I had made it to Applejacks farm ok earlier, but that was when Applejack met me along the way. And explained to her family not to buck the strange humanoid monster.

        What was I going to do when a town of angry ponys attack? I can't kill them without Celestia getting mad, and if I just hurt them they will rally against the 'monster'.

        How was I going to have fun without causing them to attack?

        I know, cause so much fear in them they will be too scared to fight. Sure I could just calmly explain to them I mean them no harm but... where is the fun in that? I haven't pranked any mortals since before the gods started dying off. Hope I'm not rusty.

        ***

        "THE HORROR"

        This has got to be in my top ten of "Best Pranks". This is even more fun then that time I made a mortals crops turn into fools gold, and that was funny. He literally built a house out of it, I loved the look on his face when his wife told him it was fools gold. Priceless.

        I had walked into the town square, all the ponys cowering in fear. I was covered by 3 inches of solid stone. I looked like a golem, expect golem's don't carry three foot long swords and stone bucklers. Even better before walking in I had summoned two golem's, one on each side as I walked. I ordered them not to attack anything under any reason. One looked like a boulder with arms and legs, the other appeared to be a stone tree.

        "BEHOLD MORTALS, FOR YOU LOOK UPON GREATNESS ITSELF. BOW BEFORE ME, FOR I AM A GOD."

        It was awesome , at least until rainbow face attacked me, she hit me right in the chest, cracking the stone with such an impact. You know what? She doesn't know it is me, but that doesn't mean I can't "defend" myself. I took myself into a battle stance, my buckler in front capable of taking any powerful blows.

        "YOU DARE ATTACK ME?"

        "Yeah I dare you big hulking rock, I'll beat you in ten seconds flat"

        Wow she notices I'm a moving rock but doesn't question to see if it's me? You know the one being in this world capable of doing this. Alright I'm game. I could use a workout. I threw my sword and shield to the ground, I wanted to be able to brag about my victory.

        She charged, nothing but a blur to even my godly eyes. But even in several hundred pounds of armor I had the speed to grab her. I dodged her with a quick sidestep, before she was able to react I Climbed onto her back, forcing her to the ground. She dropped with a gasp, I quickly covered her in stone.

        "Sup rainbow face" I said as I took off my heavy helmet "Didn't expect to see me so soon? I was hoping for a better welcoming party"

        "Why you-"

        "Nice to see you as well, hope I didn't hurt your pride to badly to beat you AGAIN"

        I laughed loudly at her pathetic attempts to deny it to the surrounding ponys.

        "Come on Dashie, all the elements of harmony know I beat them all at once, there is no need to feel ashamed about losing to a god"

        "You- you cheated, you use your magic. Bet you couldn't beat me in a fair fight. I'd beat you in ten seconds flat"

        Oh she really wanted to go there?

        "Alright rainbow face, I'll cut you a deal. If I fight without using my magic, you can't use your wings. It would only be fair. Unless your chicken."

        "Fine, I'll still beat you"

        "Good luck. Your going to need it."

        ***

        Alright, I had to explain that it was all just a joke. You know, walking into town fully armored, and with two hulking creatures of death. Yup, that happens all the time because once the elements in town said I was here on royal business they seemed to warm up around me. I even got to see three child ponys, who they seem to call the "Cutie Mark Crusaders". I love children, but I was honestly surprised by how cute they are. I mean, it appears like their entire species is focused around them being too cute to kill. Also their eyes, it looks like their senses around based around eyesight because of how big they are.

        "Why are you and Rainbow Dash going to fight?" said a white unicorn, that looked quite a bit like Rarity.

        "So I can show off my strength, and so I can show her my superior fighting skills"

        "Oh yeah, I bet Rainbow could beat you blindfolded" this one seemed to look up to Dash in a way.

        "Oh trust me, she can't defeat me. She cannot match a god in terms of strength"

        "Oh I dunno, Dash is mighty fast." this one seemed to be in relation to cowgirl. I don't know if it was her accent or her looks that made me make that connection, but either way it doesn't matter. I have a match to win.

        ***

        "Dash this is your last chance to back out before you embarrass yourself in front of ponyville"

        "Nuh uh, your the one that's going to be embarrassed."

        I decided to focus on the task at hand, making a stone ball. "When this hits the ground we begin" I handed it off to a Pegasus with two lazy eyes, she seemed to be somewhat struggling with the rock. I didn't think I made it that heavy.

        She dropped the rock, it hit the ground loudly. I stood where I was waiting for her to make the first move. She had her wings tied up so she couldn't cheat.

        She seemed to be waiting for me to make the first move, likely because each time she attacked first she was beaten. But she couldn't wait long, she seemed to lack patience.

        I caught her hoof in my hand, with a twist I sent her into the ground, she quickly recovered by wrapping her free hoof around my neck, bringing me down with her. She rolled over with her on top, I continued the roll, ending up with me on top.I wrapped both my arms around the back of her neck, preventing her hoofs from pushing me off. I propped my right leg up, stopping her from rolling over. She began hitting me repeatedly with her hoofs, I quickly released her so she would cause me no more bodily harm. I backed up several feet, to wait for the next attack. Realizing she was having some difficulty getting up I took the initiative to attack. I reared back my leg and caught her right in the face. We had decided before hand to hold nothing back, and I sure wasn't going to.

        She went to the ground, I quickly locked my arms with her front hoofs, while locking my legs with her others. I admit it likely looked very sexual, but it was an efficient way of pinning her. She couldn't move an inch.

        "Looks like I won"