Squee Like You Mean It

by Behold The Awesome

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Romance, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Fluttershy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4968

Rainbow Dash is having trouble processing her feelings for Fluttershy.

It wasn't the end of the world right? It's not like she'd meant anything by it. What was so wrong with a little "Just Friends" kiss? Oh, who was she kidding?
Rainbow Dash was so screwed. She didn't mean for it to happen. Now she would have to deal with the fallout. Of course, she could just avoid everypony until the end of existence. A girl has to keep her options open.

Rated for naughty language.

Published 2012-05-27 12:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-27 12:04:01 UTC

Prelude To A Nervous Breakdown

It wasn't so bad. Everything worked out in the end right? Sure it was the most viscous invasion Canterlot had ever been subjected too. Yes, lots of ponies had terrible injuries from the fray, not to mention the lasting psychological damage. (She wasn't sure if she would ever get past the memory of multiple Pinkie Pies.) They very nearly lost Equestria. Celestia got her flank handed to her. Oh, and let's not forget the part where everypony almost died.

Still, all things considered it wasn't the worst wedding she'd ever been too.

Take the wedding of Mayor Mare for instance. That was a completely over the top ceremony, ending with the mayor being stood up at the altar. Things got weird after that. She started dyeing her hair gray, saying, “If I'm going to be an old maid, I better look the part.”

Dash shuddered, and took a long draught from her glass.

Worse was when her own parents finally decided to tie the knot. The two of them sat her down, and told her their relationship was getting pretty serious and they wanted to take the next step. As if it hadn't gotten serious when they gave birth to her, eleven years prior. She remembered it clearly; because that was also the day they decided that she should be the flower girl. Her, Rainbow Dash, a flower girl! How could they do that? Like she would've ever been caught dead in a dress that frilly, skipping down the aisle, scattering daises as she went. It's not like it made her feel pretty or anything.

The straw made a slurping sound as the pegasus drained the glass.

Nope, swarming demonic insectoids and all, this soooo wasn't the worst time she'd ever had at a wedding. Besides, the happy ending won out. The horde was defeated and driven back to wherever it came from. The two love birds got hitched. Hay, she even got to do a sonic rain-boom. All's well that ends well.

Plus the reception was kick-flank, and nopony could argue with that. Pinkie had pulled out all the stops, but then when didn't she? The beats were pounding, the decorations were awesome, and there was a seemingly endless supply of alcohol.

So much better than her parents reception.

“Why didn't anypony ask me to dance?” She whined bitterly. She blew a few stray hairs from her face, and stared at the mirrored backsplash of the bar. “It's not like I was ugly. Stupid frilly dress.”

A glower darkened her face, Rainbow motioned for another drink.

“Oh darling, don't tell me you're going to spend all night at the bar.”

The pegasus winced at the voice. From the haughty tone, she could tell the unicorn to whom it belonged was in a lecturing mood. No doubt, she had transgressed against the almighty gods of high society. Breathing deeply, Dash braced herself for the coming sermon.

“Okay, I'm not telling you.”

“Don't you think that's a little rude?” Rarity said.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “It's not like I'm being anti-social. I've been partying the whole night. I even got to dance with Soarin'.” She threw her hooves into the air excitedly. “The Soarin'.”

“Oh. I hadn't realized.”

“That's okay. You’ve just been too busy hanging with those stuck up snobs to notice.” She said, waving a hoof dismissively.

“Trying to see how far you can get your nose up their-”

“Rainbow Dash! That is entirely inappropriate. I just didn't want you all alone at the bar all evening.”

Dash exhaled. “Sorry Rar. Just a little testy I guess. A few too many a these babies I reckon” Tapping the blue colored cocktail.

“Hmm quite.” Rarity arched her brow as she leaned over the bar, staring intently at her friend's drink.

“How many of those have you had?”

“Somewhere between not enough and way too many.”

“I see. Forgive me if this seems...over-bearing, but I am simply concerned to see one of my closest friends huddled over a cocktail, when the biggest party of the year is going on all around her.”

Dash eased a little. Perhaps she had judged her friend too harshly. “Hey, uh- thanks Rarity, for checking up on me.”

“But of course dear. That's what friends are for darling. As I said before I couldn't just let one of my very best friends waste a wonderful evening drinking herself silly.” She paused briefly to flip her mane.

“I mean, after all, how would that look?”

Rainbow chuckled while shaking her head. Turning to the look at the unicorn, she tapped her own snout. “Uh Rare, you gotta little something brown right there.”

Rarity's eyes grew wide with panic. Quick as lighting she produced a compact mirror and began to inspect her face.

“What! Oh thank you Rainbow, I would simply die if I was caught with something on my face. Hmmm, I don't seem to see it. Brown what could that be though I-” She froze as realization dawned on her. She grimaced, and snapped her compact shut with as much ferocity as she could.

“Oh ha ha. Very funny Rainbow Dash.”

The prim unicorn stormed off muttering something about “Just trying to be nice”. The pegasus couldn't hear her. She was too busy pounding the bar-top while she laughed herself breathless.

“Whoa nelly, y’all sure got her panties in a bunch.”

Dash glanced over her shoulder to see a familiar farmer climbing on to the stool next to her. “Yeah well, she can get kinda irritating ya know.”

“Oh now you don't hafta tell me sugar. That one's been getting under mah skin since the day we met-appletini.”

“When'd you get here anyway?”

“Oh right bout when Rarity did.” She turned her head toward the neon green drink that had been placed in front of her. The earth pony nodded to the bartender and mumbled a quick “Much Obliged” Before turning back toward Dash. “Ah kinda just hung back a bit ta watch the show.”

“Come to wet your whistle?”

“Somethin' like that.” She said while sipping her drink.

“Aw geez, not you too? Can't a pony get a drink or two without everypony else thinking she's an alcoholic.”

“It ain't that Dash. Jus' y’all disappeared is all. We was only tryin' to make sure twern't nothin' wrong.”

“Applejack, I'm alright. I just figured that now that Mr. and Mrs. Right took off in their carriage, the party'd be winding down, and maybe I should grab some drinks while I still could.”

“Fair'nuff.” Applejack sniffed and rubbed her snout. “Ya'll sure ya holdin' up alright RD? That Rainboom sure was somethin'. Musta took a lot outta ya.”

“Nah, easy peasy.” She lied. She was completely drained. Applejack knew it two, or at least figured it out when she clapped Dash on the back. The weatherpony couldn't quite hold back the wince as pain shot through her shoulders. Applejack chose not to comment on it, opting instead for a jibe to break the tension.

“Ah can't believe yer still in that there dress. Guess Rarity's wearin' ya down.”

“Hey I can look pretty if I want.”

“Heh heh, what'd ya say?”

“Nothing.” Rainbow grunted.

“Aww now Ah'm jus teasin'.”

“Yeah well knock it off.”

“Wow. You are testy ain't ya?”

Rainbow softened. “I'm sorry AJ.”

Applejack stared at her friend a moment. Seemingly sizing her up before speaking.

“Y’all aren't by any chance a mean drunk?”

“Sometimes.” Rainbow admitted, before adding, “But I'm not drunk. Yet.”

“Well then what is your problem? Ya seemed to be havin' a grand ol' time earlier. ‘Specially when you was fallin' all over that Soarin' feller.”

“I don't know. It's like something’s bothering me, but I don't know what.”

“Got any clues?” Applejack asked absently stirring her martini.

“I think it was something that happened earlier. I just can't remember what it was.”

“Y'all want me to go find that Wonderbolt again. Ya seemed plenty perky when he was around.” Applejack smirked.

“You're one to talk. I saw you putting the moves on a few stallions tonight.”

“Lotta good that did me.” The earth pony mumbled to herself.

“Where did you even get that fiddle from anyways?”

“Ah had it on me.” The farmer admitted with some chagrin.

“You're serious. You had it with you. You came to a royal wedding strapped with a fiddle under you're gown.” Rainbow laughed. “Applejack you are a riot!”

“Ah guess it does sound a little silly.”

“Oh Celestia! Rarity's face when you whipped it out. I thought she was having a stroke.”

Applejacks anger flared. She slammed her drink on the bar. Scrunching her face up, she yelled.

“Now for the love of- when is that uppity filly gawna learn to loosen up. Parties are about havin' fun. Just ask Pinkie. Always actin' like a martyr jus' cause she's seen with us. Anyways if there's anyone who has a right to be embarrassed tonight it's Twilight.”

“Huh.” Dash looked puzzled for a minute. “Oh Yeah!”

They were gathered around the wedding carriage, the six of them. It had been nice to share the night, rejoicing together in the wake of the cataclysm they had so narrowly survived. But they had survived, and now it was time to bid farewell to the happy couple as they sped off to some grand new beginning.

Cadance had approached Twilight Sparkle. Tears streamed down the Alicorn's face as she wrapped the smaller pony in powerful hug. After releasing Twilight from the embrace, she spoke.

“I cannot begin to thank you enough. If it weren't for you Twilight, I'd have been trapped in those caverns forever. I would have lost Shin- I would have lost everything.”

“Cadance, you don't have to thank me for anything. I didn't do it alone. It took everypony working together, and anyway it was you who saved the day.”

Twilight stepped forward to nuzzle the princess. Cadance smiled and looked down fondly on her new sister-in-law.

“You sure have grown up a lot from that little foal I used to sit. It seems like only yesterday I was changing your sheets in the middle of the night, and now -mmphmm”

The princess wasn't expecting the purple hoof that shot forward covering her mouth. Of course it wasn't really all that purple as a bright blush had rapidly consumed Twilight's entire body. In fact the poor little pony more closely resembled a tomato that a unicorn.

“Wait a minute.” Rainbow Dash interjected. Doing all she could not to burst out laughing. “Are you telling me that Twilight used to wet the bed?”

“Used to,” Spike mumbled. “Sometimes she still does.”

Twilight buffeted him with a hoof. Sweat was pouring down her face. Her breaths came in short shallow gasps. It wasn't hard to tell how close she was to hyperventilating.

“Twilight, I 'm sorry I”

“That's okay.” Her voice was dangerously upbeat. “Nothing to be sorry about. You don't have to say anything.”

“No but I-mmmph”
Cadance once again found herself unable to speak, as a purple aura surround her mouth, and producing a zipper pull, quickly zipped her lips closed.

“I think you've said enough.”

“Man oh man. Was that awesome!” Rainbow cheered. “Oh I'm getting so much mileage outta that.”

“You're a good friend Rainbow.”

“Oh come on. You cannot expect me to just let that go.”

“Nope. Ah reckon it's your prerogative to make Twilight feel terrible bout somethin' she couldn't help that happened ages ago.”

“Guilt's not gonna work AJ.”

“Well seein' as she's had it so rough these last couple a days. You know with the evil plot, and none of us believin' er, and the whole imprisoned miles underground fiasco. Maybe ya could find it in yer heart to give the poor girl a little bit forin' ya go bustin' her chops.”

“How long is a little bit?” Dash asked suspiciously.

“Ah dunno. Can ya make it a week?”

Rainbow brightened. “Hey no problem. I'll need a little time to figure out the best way of doing it.”

“Well seein' as how you're ponderin' how to annoy Twilight, Ah think Ah'll follow suit and go help prissy-hooves to lighten' up. Ah think ah see her now. Yup, she's chattin' up that Hoity Toity fella. Ya know he looks like the kinda stallion that just loves him some Turkey in the Straw. Whadya think RD?”

“Wait, you're still packing.”

Applejack grins as she produces her fiddle.

“Oh you are Evil. Have fun.”

Chuckling, Dash turned toward her drink. Furrowing her brow, she pondered hard on the previous conversation. Something Applejack said weighed heavily on her mind.

"Just what are panties anyway," she thought to herself. A quick sip pushed her thoughts away.

“Ughh.” She gagged. The drink had been good at first, but now that she was on her third one, it had grown boring. That did not sit well with Dash. She craved new and exciting. Rainbow reared up on her barstool. She lifted one foreleg into the air as if to make a proclamation, and cried out.

“Boozemaster!”

The bartender smiled. Boozemaster. That was a new one. He'd have to add it to his collection of titles.
He was brown stallion, with a heavy accent Rainbow Dash couldn't quite place. Regardless he'd been a fun pony to be around tonight. That bow tie was kind of dorky though.

“Hullo again Mis.”

“I tire of this swill.” She declared, waving her hoof over her glass. “Bring unto me something tastier.”

“Sure thing. What'll it be this time?”

“I dunno, you're the bartender. You tell me.” Dash said glaring.

“Doctor.”

“What?”

“I'm not a bartender.” He announced proudly. “I am a doctor of mixology.”

“Doctor who?” She asked her confusion increasing every second longer the stallion spoke. It was like being around Pinkie Pie.

“Who-ves.” The self-titled mixologist corrected, “My name is Doctor Whooves.”

“Okay, Doctor Whooves. What have you got?”

“Well,” The good doctor's grin broadened. “I've actually been working on something special. It's your basic orange juice vodka cocktail, but I've added something extra to the mix. It's guaranteed to make your ears ring. I call it my Sonic Screwdriver.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Whatever Doc just hit me.”

Whooves winked, as he set about a vastly intricate mixing ritual. She only watched for a minute before a green hoof invaded her vision.

She shook her head, only to find that the hoof was still there. Staring intently at the limb, Dash traced it back to the pony to whom it belonged. The stallion had been sitting to her right for quite some time, and apparently was now seeking her audience.

“Uh Excuse me.” The pegasus said.

The stallion looked at her with urgency. He spoke quietly. “Young lady, you don't want to mess with that thing he's mixing up.”

“Oh yeah?” Rainbow quirked an eyebrow, “Why's that.”

“Stuff's powerful.” He replied stroking his grey beard. “Had it only one time. Thought it was the best night of my life. Thought I wound up in bed with Celestia herself.” He stared wistfully into space.

“Woke up the next morning in a chicken coup, wearing a tutu, my mane shaved clean off.”

“That bad?”

“Worse. I drank it here, but I woke up like that in Fillydelhpia.”

“Wow.” Rainbows dropped her jaw. “And you just had the one?”

“What?” The stallion looked at her dumbly. “No. I had seventeen.”

Rainbow blanched. “Uh Huh. I think I'll be okay if I just drink the one.”

“Suit yourself missy.” He said with a shrug. “Mark my words though, once that drink hits this bar-top, nothing good can follow.”

Almost on cue, Dr. Whooves slammed the drink down in front of Rainbow with a loud thunk.

“Here ya are Mis.”

“Thanks.” She said somewhat apprehensively. Carefully, she raised it to her lips.

“Uhm, Rainbow Dash?”

Her glass froze in mid-air. She knew that quiet little voice.

“I wanted to talk.”

She should really find somewhere else to drink. Sighing Rainbow set the glass down and spun her stool around to face the owner of the soft voice.

“Sure thing Fluttershy, what's on your mind?”

The animal lover was shaking. She took a deep breath. “Uhm, it's about the kiss.”

Dash frowned. It was always so hard to hear the shy pony. It was doubly so when you were in a crowded area surrounding by raucous inebriated well-to-do ponies. She put a hoof to her ear in an effort to better hear her friend.

“I'm sorry, what was that?”

Fluttershy looked cautiously around the room before speaking in an even quieter voice.

“The kiss.”

“Can you maybe speak up?”

The yellow pegasus only shook her head.

“Well if you're not gonna tell me, how do you expect us to talk?” Dash's voice was harsh.

A moment passed, as Fluttershy was visibly pondering the situation. Then the mare stood on her hind legs, and started to move in strangely exaggerated poses.

Rainbow Dash could only stare, dumbfounded.

“What are you doing?”

“I think it’s charades,” the older stallion next to her ventured.

“No it can't-” Rainbow broke off when she saw the other pegasus bobbing her head in agreement.

“Really charades. In the middle of a wedding reception you want to play charades.”

Fluttershy nodded her head vigorously, holding up her foreleg.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “One word.”

Fluttershy swung both her hooves like a baseball bat.

“Swing.”

The yellow pegasus looked worried. She swung again, but this time spun around in place.

“Miss.” The green stallion contributed.

“What? No way.” The weatherpony waved off the suggestion.

Fluttershy pointed at the pony on the stool nodding.

“Really? Miss?” Dash exclaimed.

Fluttershy made an indecipherable motion.

“Okay now what the hay does that mean?”

“Rhymes with.” The barfly once again chimed in.

“How do you know that?” Dash questioned.

“That's the way you say rhymes with. Haven't you ever played charades before?”

“You're kidding.” She leered at him.

“No. He's right.” The doctor weighed in.

“Not about that.” Rainbow said. “Do I look like the kind of pony that would play charades?”

“Well you're playing it now.” Whooves rebutted.

“Whatever.” Rainbow grunted. “Rhymes with miss.”

Fluttershy nodded before pointing to her lips.

“Kiss.” Rainbow said.

The yellow pony again bobbed her head.

“Okay kiss. What ki-” Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide as a certain event from earlier played out in her mind. She was suddenly overcome with the vague feeling of being a broken typewriter, the words “oh fuck.” repeated in her mind like a never ending loop.

Fluttershy, for her part, stared at Rainbow. Her eyes were searching and vulnerable. She looked almost on the verge of tears.

No longer a mere line of text, the words now lit up in vibrant neon colors 1000 feet a high. “Oh fuck” painted across the sky.

Still Fluttershy stood there, staring her down. Those soft green eyes boring into her soul. That pleading face begging for answers. This was real. This was happening. Fluttershy was standing in front of her, needing something only the cyan mare could give her. The truth.

Rainbow Dash did the only sensible thing given the situation. She bolted at full speed.

Oh sweet Celestia! She'd done it this time. How could this have happened? How could she have kissed Fluttershy? Actually, honest-to-goodness kissed her! She had forgotten that. She hadn't forgotten that. She just thought she imagined it. How could she have done that? It's not like she hadn't ever thought about it before, but hauling off and kissing her best friend in real life. How- wait! She'd thought about it before?!

Ponyfeathers, it was all coming back to her now. Like any repressed memory, she just needed a little push. The dust, the mayhem, the vampire-pony-bug-thingies, and poor little Fluttershy cowering on the ground .The little pegasus had just looked so cute, and so frightened. What better way to show her everything was going to be alright?

Seriously, how was The Dash going to talk herself out of this one? She'd just have to come clean and explain herself. Could she explain herself? No. No, she couldn't.

“Ugh. Why!” She yelled at a perfectly innocent potted plant. “Why! Why!”

Rainbow Dash wrapped herself around the fern, and whined incoherently. The green foliage provided no real solace, but she needed something to cling to and right now it would have to do. Also there was the matter of her mane being twisted in its leaves.

What was that sound? Oh it was just somepony knocking on her bedroom door. Wait, if somepony was knocking, then they wanted in. They wanted to...talk to her!

Dash spun toward the door. A snapping sound accompanied the motion, and the pony knew that she was taking part of the plant with her.

Rainbow gulped audibly before starting toward the door.

"Please don't let it be Fluttershy. Not now please, not now."

Slowly craning her head to the peephole, she was met with a blue eye pressed against the glass.

“Aahh!” She screamed and fell backwards.

“Hey where'd you go?” Came the all to chipper chirp from the other side of the door.

The pegasus sat up groggily. Shaking her head, the color pink flashed in her mind’s eye. Rainbow glanced toward the sound of barely controlled giggling, and groaned in resignation. She carefully opened the door, looking both ways down the hall. Satisfied by the lack of Fluttershy, two blue forelegs grabbed Pinkie by the shoulders and pulled her inside.

Quick as a flash Rainbow slammed the door, latched the locks, and spun around to face her visitor - back pressed against the wall, eyes darting back and forth.

“Uhm, hi Pinkie.” She said unevenly.

“Hey Dashie,” The exuberant pony answered. “I saw you leave the party early and wanted to know what's up?”

Dash exhaled. “Oh uhm nothing much Pinks. You know just taken a quick breather cause-” She trailed off. Her voice came off weak to her own ears. There was no way anypony would buy it. She might as well be honest.

Rainbow sat down on her haunches “Actually Pinks, I screwed up. I screwed up real bad.”

Pinkie blinked. “Well duh. You left before the stripers got here.”

“I'm sorry it just that- what stripers?”

“The ones for the Bachelor party Spike needed help with.”

Dash's eyes went wide. She was dimly aware of her jaw hanging open in shock,

The little pony giggled. “You should see the look on your face. There aren't stripers silly.”

“Pinkie, be serious. Why are you here?”

“Well I saw you and Flutters talking, and then you just skedaddled faster than that time I told you my sisters were coming to town. Then Fluttershy looked all mopey-dopey. So I thought I come ask you what was wrong. Cause if I asked Fluttershy I'd be there all night.”

Dash looked hesitant for a minute before sighing. “I kissed her.”

Pinkie raised her brows. “I think I missed that part.”

“No earlier today. During the fight, I kinda maybe sorta kissed her.”

Pinkie stared at the pegasus incredulously. “That's it?”

“That's it- What do you mean, 'That's it?”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Weeeeelllll...did you like it?”

Dash sputtered her face flushing. “I-uh...What kind of a question is that?”

“Oh just the only one that matters.”

“Only one that- Pinkie! I just kissed my oldest friend in the whole wide world. What am I going to do?”

“What you are going to do depends on if you liked it.”

Dash just stared at her. Pinkie rolled her eyes. Walking over to the distraught mare, she busied herself untangling remnants of a fern from her friend’s rainbow mane.

“If you liked it you should do it again.” The party pony said, clucking her tongue as she fiddled with a particularly stubborn knot.

“And what if I didn't like it?” Rainbow asked, shooting her eyes up at Pinkie.

There came an unusually heavy sign, and Dash became aware of the absence of hooves tugging at her hair. Looking over her shoulder she found Pinkie unlocking the door.

Pinkie gave the pegasus a sad smile before speaking.

“Don't be silly Dashie.”

Rainbow Dash could only stare after her, as she left. In all her life Rainbow could not remember a time when the pony had seemed so subdued.

Closing the door, Dash scanned the room for her next course of action. She briefly considered hugging the fern again. She decided against it when the likelihood of having to actually get the leaves out of her own mane seemed definite. Finding nothing else of any value Dash found instead a wall, and began banging her head into it.

She didn't get much sleep after Pinkie left. The night was a bit of a blur. The alcohol may have been to blame for that, although she may also have suffered a minor concussion after head butting the wall. She hadn't come to a decision yet.

What Rainbow Dash did remember, was quite a lot of lying on her bed staring at the ceiling mumbling “Why Me.” This was punctuated by long periods of burying her face in her pillow, and banging her hooves on the mattress while screaming “Stupid” over and over again.

It didn't matter now. Last night was gone, over and done with. Today was a new day, and as such it brought the promise of fresh new hell. This newer hell, some lower circle of Tartarus that beings with wings very rarely see, consisted of a plane of suffering that looked to a careless observer to be a train compartment. More careful scrutiny however would prove different.

What seemed at first to be a passenger car was in fact a prison cell. A tight little box with very little way out. The accompanying passengers were really pillars of flame tormenting her. The words they spoke were bright sparks that burned her flesh.

In the midst of all this was Rainbow Dash's doom. The shadow of reckoning she cowered in fear of. Most ponies' doom was probably something big and scary with spikes and horns. Something vague and dark, perhaps. She was sure a battle hardened axe should fit in there too. The doom Rainbow Dash feared was a soft yellow creature with bubblegum pink hair. It spoke in a voice more delicate than mist. Instead of a sporting an ax, it brandished pink butterflies on its hindquarters.

There was nothing else Rainbow Dash feared more in all of creation.

Yet, here she was, trapped within this terrible facet of reality. A pony on board a train that she was convinced was be conducted by Charon. She buried her face in her hooves, and hoped they’d get to Ponyville soon.

The train pounded along the tracks at what could call break neck pace. It could be called by break-neck, if you weren't Rainbow Dash. She could fly faster than this backwards. Normally she didn't mind the ride. Distance flying was hard, tedious work, and although Dash would be loath to admit it, by the time made the trip between Canterlot and Ponyville, she wouldn't really be moving faster than the train. Plus this way she would get to spend time with her friends.

Right now though, it was that last part that was bothering her. They all seemed rather close, crowding her as it were. She was having trouble breathing. Then there was still the matter of her doom sitting just a few rows away. A certain yellow pegasus especially, would be something to put distance from.

That wasn't going to happen though. They had at least another hour to go, maybe more. She hadn't really had a good sense of time since Fluttershy yanked the rug out from under last night.

Sighing loudly the mare shifted in her seat, her leg brushing her discarded saddle bags. Her eyes brightened as an idea crossed her mind. Music could provide an egress. It served no greater purpose after all. Smiling slightly Rainbow reached into the bag to retrieve her treasured cd player.

She held the circular gateway to salvation in her hooves. It was beaten and abused from use. It was covered entirely with scratched and faded stickers that had once clearly declared the unmatched glory of the Wonderbolts. Emblazoned on the device, a logo she had become intimately familiar with, PONY WALKMARE.

As she slid the ancient headphones over her ears, she prepared herself to drift away to the sounds of McCartney’s voice. A little Mare on the Run would be good, but given the current climate Rainbow was really more in the mood for Live And Let Die.

Leaning back she closed her eyes and pushed play. An ear to ear grin played out on her faces as she was washed over by the sound of...nothing.

Her eyes snapped open. Popping the lid on the Walkmare she found it empty.

That couldn't be. She listened to it on the way to Canterlot. That meant... she'd lost it! Great. That was just great. Now on top of everything else, she had a new Greatest Hits to buy.

Dash thumped her head against the window, only to recoil cursing. How did she manage to hit the same spot as last night? Rubbing her head, and seriously considering buying a crash helmet, Rainbow glanced up to find everypony staring at her.

The mare gulped as she realized she may have screamed “Holy cock sucking goat-fucker” louder than what is considered polite.

“Heh. Uhm, sorry.” She said, rubbing the back of her neck.

Oh this was so going to be a long trip. Closing her eyes, Dash leaned back onto the offending window.

Okay. So maybe this was the worst wedding she'd been to.