Double Sun Daze

by Albi

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sunset Shimmer, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe
Length: 14074

Meet Sunset Shimmer... now meet Sunset and Shimmer. They don't play well together.

Well, I've had better days. I was just trying to practice a spell that may or may not have been forbidden... don't give me that look. You want a hoof to the face? Anyway, I underestimated my raw natural talent and the spell worked... too well.

Because I don't screw things up. Clearly, it worked like it was supposed to! I think.

Now there's me... and her. Stupid, upbeat, cheerful thing that thinks she's me. Ugh, she's worse than Cadence! I need to get her half of my magic back and get rid of her before anypony finds out about this!

I mean, it can't be too hard hiding a second Sunset Shimmer...right?

Thanks to Sholan, Zomg, Tchernobog and Noble Thought

Published 2015-08-22 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-22 21:13:03 UTC

I Could Just Ship Her to Saddle Arabia

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhh!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhh!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“Miss Shimmer, are you okay in there?” a guard yelled from behind the door.

I shoved a hoof in the mouth of whatever this thing was and said, “Yes, I’m fine, just a nightmare!”

“Are you sure? I thought I heard another—”

“You didn’t, now beat it!”

A beat of silence. “Very well, Miss Sunset.” His boots echoed off the halls until he had returned to his station.

I pulled my hoof out of my doppelganger’s mouth and wiped it on her coat before pinning her to the floor. “Okay, who the heck are you?” My horn was already charging, despite the headache it was giving me.

“I’m Sunset Shimmer,” she said earnestly.

“No, I’m Sunset Shimmer. Now, tell me who you really are before I blow you to kingdom come!”

Her eyes widened, and she tried to shy away. “Please don’t! I really am Sunset Shimmer—same as you! We’re both Sunset!”

My magic dispersed, mostly because I couldn’t keep it focused for very long. I looked incredulously at her. “What do you mean we’re both Sunset?”

She placed a hoof on my chest, and quickly retracted it when I growled like a junkyard dog. “We’re two halves of the same pony. At least, I think we are. What do you remember from last night?”

“Lots of magic and frustration. Then something hit me.”

She smiled. Seeing my face with that bright smile looked very, very wrong. “Me too!” She acted like it was the happiest news in the world. “Only, I fell on top of something! Quick, what did you do for your fourteenth birthday?”

“Ate cake with Celestia and went to a Wonderbolts derby,” I said slowly.

“Oh my gosh, me too! See? We have the same memories, and we look the same, so we must both be Sunset Shimmer!”

I shook my head. “That doesn’t make any sense! There can’t be two of me!” I paused as a new possibility struck me. “Changeling!”

“Change-wha?”

I picked up the impostor with my magic and flung her across the room. She hit the wall with a loud smack and slid down it, groaning in pain. She wasn’t the only one.

“Ow!” I shouted, a sudden pain flaring up in my back at the precise moment the other Sunset had hit the wall. Adding to my back pain was the throbbing headache. Both the pain and seeing the other me only made me even angrier. “Go away!” I shot a blast of energy at her. The moment it struck her chest, a burning sensation burst across mine, and I doubled over in pain.

“Stop doing that, you’re making me feel worse,” the doppelganger shouted.

What the heck is going on? Every time I hit her, I feel it too! I glanced upwards. “Do you… have a splitting headache?”

“Yeeeeeeess!” she moaned.

Oh no. Oh sweet Celestia, no. I felt every attack I threw at her, and she had a headache like me. We both looked the same, we both had the same memories. It was then that I saw her cutie mark. Instead of being colored in two shades, it was all yellow. I forced myself over to the mirror and looked at my own.

It was all red.

“Oh sweet Celestia, please no!”

“Hey, what happened to your cutie mark? Hey, what happened to my cutie mark? Huh, you know if I didn’t know any better, it kind leaves the impression that we’re like, two halves of the same pony.”

My head slowly rotated toward her. “That’s exactly what it means, you idiot,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Oh.”

My mind raced, trying to piece together how this had transpired. The spell from last night had said it would double my potential and balance my yin and yang. Was this what it meant? Had I managed to split myself in two?

The other one wandered closer. “So, does that make us twins?”

“No it doesn’t!” I yelled.

“I think it does!” she sang.

Oh no, this is not happening. I shook my head and snarled, “You were an accident. There is no way we are going to be twins or anything of the sort. Now get back inside me!”

She blinked. “Are you coming on to me?”

“Oh sweet sun, I’m going to kill you.”

“That isn’t a nice thing to say.” She pouted for a moment, then perked up. “Hey, I know, I bet you’re just hungry! I’m hungry, so you must be too! It’s a twin thing—”

“We’re not twins!”

“—so let’s go get breakfast!”’ She skipped for the door.

I leapt and tackled her to the ground. “No!” I shouted. “If Celestia sees this she’ll know that we… I’ve been into the forbidden section of the library.”

“Oh yeah, we did do that.”

“I did that. You don’t really exist! The point is, she can’t see you!” I climbed off her and started pacing back and forth. The spell had managed to split us into two separate halves. And judging by that state of things, we seemed to be polar opposites in terms of characteristics. That explained why I was feeling even angrier than normal. It didn’t explain why she was an idiot!

She stared out the window, smiling at the bird song. “It’s a pretty day today.”

Ugh, she reminds me of Cadence. My train of thought came crashing to a hault. All those stupid happy thoughts I had been trying to think last night—those are what make her up! She is literally the yin to my yang! I looked at her again, humming to herself. So this is what I’m like without all the good parts to me? Maybe I should just leave her out of me.

I shook my head. There could only be one Sunset! She had to go, one way or another. Hurting her apparently hurt me too—which completely sucked! So killing her was out… probably. That meant, we would just have to fuse back together.

Joy.

“Okay, listen up, Replica.”

She turned from the window and frowned. “My name’s Sunset Shimmer.”

I strutted forward, laughing mirthlessly. “Oh no. My name is Sunset Shimmer. You’re Replica.”

“But we split in half. That makes me Sunset just as much as you!”

“No; You’re just all the parts I could live without, but because there can’t be two of us running around, I’m going to have to take you back. So you’re Replica. Be lucky I haven’t named you ’Stupid’!”

She frowned deeper. “Was I always this mean?”

“Yes, and now, I’m enjoying every second of it,” I said with a sneer. “Now—”

“Can I at least be called Shimmer?”

I flicked her nose, ignoring the pain in mine. “Stop interrupting me. Now, I’m going to look for a spell that will put us back together. You sit and wait quietly while I do, got it?”

She sat down and crossed her hooves, puffing her cheeks out like a filly. “I’ll only do it if you call me Shimmer.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine, you can be Shimmer.”

“Yaaay!” She jumped up and hugged me around the neck. “Thanks, twinny!”

I locked up at the physical contact. “If you don’t let go of me, I’ll just turn you into a pile of ash.”

“Won’t that hurt you—”

“Ash!”

She let go and sat on the ground again.

After wiping the contamination off, I walked over to my bed and picked the book up. Logically, a reverse spell would be on the next page, so I decided to start there. If it wasn’t, then I was going to spend the next several days translating ancient words and putting up with my disgustingly cheerful ‘twin.’

No, this is not going to be a thing. I’m getting rid of her as soon as possible.

If all else failed, I could just ship her to Saddle Arabia.

I hadn’t even gotten through the page title before there was a knock on my door. “Miss Shimmer, it is almost time for your lesson with the Princess.”

“Crap!” I yelled.

“Yaay!” Shimmer cheered, heading for the door.

“No!” I blasted her in the shoulder, regretting it the second it made contact. I gripped my own and seethed, muttering curses under my breath.

“What was that?” the guard asked.

“Nothing!” I shouted over Shimmer’s whimpering. “Just… talking to myself.”

“Very well. Would you like an escort to the Princess’ chambers?”

“Do you think I’m some stupid foal? I can find her room by myself, thank you very much.”

I could hear his discontent grumble from my bed. “Very well.”

Ignoring the ache in my shoulder, I climbed off the bed and approached Shimmer, who was massaging her own bruise. “You have anger issues,” she whined.

“And you’re an idiot, and the sky is blue. Now that we’re done pointing out the obvious, I need you to do something for me.”

“What?”

I pointed to the spot she was sitting on. “Do not move. At all. Until I get back from my lesson.”

She stuck her bottom lip out. “How come you get to go?”

“Because, again, you’re an idiot.”

“Am not!”

“As much as I’d love to point out all the reasons why, I’m already going to be late. You’re staying here.”

Her stomach chose to rumble at that moment. “But I’m hungry!”

I turned to the door. “Then I’ll eat something on the way back. It’ll probably fill you up too. Probably.”

“But—”

I rounded on her. “Stay in this room! I mean it!”

Her eyes were wide and watery, but she bowed her head and muttered, “Okay.”

“Good girl.” I approached the door, then froze and looked back at my cutie mark. “Crap, that’s a dead giveaway that something’s up.”

Shimmer sat up and waved her hoof. “Oh, oh! I can fix it!” She bit her tongue and put on a face of intense concentration. Her horn lit up, and five seconds later, a paintbrush, a small jar of yellow paint, and a piece of paper came in through the window.

She clapped her hooves together in delight, then set to work. She cut a design of half our cutie mark in the paper, then held it over my flank. She then took the paint and paintbrush and splattered yellow all over the paper. When she peeled it away, My cutie mark looked almost normal. She did it to the other side and said, “Ta-da!”

“Hmm.” I closely examined it in the mirror. It was passable, as long as nopony looked too close. I nodded my head and pulled the door open a crack. “If you think you’re getting a thank you, you’re sorely mistaken.”

There was a cry of, “Aww,” before I slipped through and shut the door behind me. I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself for my coming audience with Celestia. Yet every time I thought of her, I was reminded of every little thing she did that annoyed me. Even the way she breathed was irritating.

“Keep it together, Sunset. Just get through this so we can get rid of Shimmer, put the book back, and forget this all ever happened.”

I swallowed my disdain and marched ahead. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach that told me it was going to be a long day.

I'm Really Bad at This Thing Called Stealth!

I was bored. So very bored.

I sat on my bed (or was it Sunset’s bed? But I am Sunset…) kicking my hooves against the frame. I tried reading the magic book, but it got really boring really fast. I didn’t know why, but ancient magic didn’t excite me anymore.

In the hour since Sunset had been gone, I’d painted my own cutie mark to look normal again, read my diary (I really was a mean pony), and dug through my wardrobe. It was filled with mostly ballgowns. They were pretty, but they were all the same shade of yellow and red.

I was starting to think I was a narcissist, too.

The bed was very soft, so I spent the next few minutes bouncing up and down. I giggled and snorted until I remembered that I had to be quiet. If somepony heard me in here while Sunset was away, we might get in trouble.

Even if she was a meany, I didn’t want to get her in trouble. She was my twin.

My stomach roared with the ferocity of a bear. I gave it a gentle pat. “I know, but Sunset said she would eat for both of us.” It roared again. “Hmm, but what if she did and it didn’t work? Maybe she just can’t hurt me without hurting herself.”

I rubbed my angry stomach and whined, “I want food!” I fell on my side, bouncing up and down on the bed. How was I so grumpy with a bed this soft?

While in my fetal position, I began to daydream of food. Roasted vegetables and cinnamon buns. Hay fries and daisy salads. Cucumber sandwiches and cupcakes. My mouth watered and created a stream across the sheets. If I didn’t get nourishment soon, I was going to die!

The door stared at me from across the room. Somewhere on the other side was the kitchen, where delicious food stuffs were being made. I needed it.

Hmm. If Sunset is with Celestia, that means she’s only in one room. So if I can sneak to the kitchen and grab some food without being seen by anypony important, then nopony has to know there’s two of me! Yes; stealth mission was go!

I jumped off the bed and poked my head out the door. There was one guard standing in the middle of the hall. Probably the only one that would notice me coming out my room twice. I would need to think of something clever to say to avoid suspicion.

First, I tried to walk by as inconspicuously as possible. I whistled ‘Please don’t notice me, please don’t look at me’ and kept my head down. If I looked as innocent as possible, he wouldn’t even question why I was coming out of my room again.

“Miss Shimmer? I thought you were at your lesson with the Princess?”

Aw, peanuts.

I looked up. “Uhh… I am at my lesson.” I waved my hooves in front of his face. “What you’re seeing right now is only an illusion. Ooooooooh.”

He blinked. “Well, if you say so.”

Oh yeah, I’m so smooth. “That’s right, just an illusion, nothing to be worried about. Now, return to your post, Saber Shine.”

The grey earth pony looked at me in surprise. “Oh… you… know my name?”

“Of course I know your name, silly. Why wouldn’t I?” I asked brightly.

“Well…” He rubbed a hoof against his neck. “It’s just, all the years I’ve been here, you’ve barely even acknowledged me.”

I pat his armor-clad shoulder. “Well, I apologize for my rude behavior. I promise to always say hi to you from now on.”

He smirked at me. “I thought you were an illusion?”

I looked at my hoof on his shoulder plate. “Uhhhh… kitchencallingbye!” I dashed off as my stomach gave another annoyed rumble.

Okay, I got through that. I should be in the clear now! Just gotta get to the kitchen, grab some food, and sneak back. Everything’s going to be fine!

“Hello, Sunset.”

“Hi, Cadence.”

I skidded to a stop.

Seaweed on a stick! I’m bad at this thing called stealth! I spun around and found myself face-to-face with a pretty pink princess. She had a really nice mane too, made up of gold, purple, and pink locks pulled into a ponytail. Still, her presence made my heart race. She was giving me a very curious look.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at your lesson with Celestia?”

“Uhhh… no?”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, it’s over. It was a short lesson,” I said quickly. Her stare persisted, so I deftly changed the topic. “So how are you?”

“I’m good, thanks for asking.” She paused and tapped a hoof against her chin. “Actually… I think this is the first time you’ve asked how I’ve been.”

Narcissistic, mean, and selfish. I don’t like the old me. My ears folded at the shame bubbling in my stomach. “There must have been one time I’ve asked how you were doing.”

Cadence shook her head. “No, usually it’s in a sarcastic tone or followed by, ‘no one cares.’”

I bowed my head. “I’m sorry, then.”

“R-really?” Cadence was at a loss for words. “Are… you feeling okay, Sunset?”

“Well, I’m kinda sad that I’ve been so mean to you for so long.” I kicked at the carpet.

Cadence stepped forward and hesitantly place a hoof on my shoulder. “It’s okay. I never took it personally.”

Really? Because I’m pretty sure I hated you the most. I decided to keep that to myself. “So, you forgive me?” I asked.

“Of course.” Cadence’s wide smile fell a little. “But what’s with the sudden change in attitude? Not that it’s unwanted, it’s just… unexpected.”

Oopsies. In hindsight, it might have been a better idea to just keep running instead of talking to Cadence. This is a complete turnaround from how I treated her yesterday. And the day before that… and pretty much the entire time I’ve known her.

Time stretched the seconds into hours. The hallway around us was horridly quiet. Cadence said nothing; she just stared at me with unblinking eyes. She was suspicious!

Beads of sweat rolled down the back of my neck. I needed a reasonable explanation for my new behavior before Cadence figured out that I had split myself in two.

“Unexpected?” I asked, showing off all my teeth. “It’s not that unexpected. I just… got a good night’s sleep.”

“Must have been a really good sleep.”

“Yes it was! Have you felt my bed? It’s super soft!” I made a hop like I could emphasize the springiness of it. “Yep, a good night’s sleep was all I needed!”

Cadence shifted her eyes, her mouth still turned down. “Well… if you say so. I suppose I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” She took a breath, fluffed her wings, and smiled at me. “I’m glad you got a good night’s sleep for the first time in… since I’ve known you.”

“Hahahaha,” I laughed nervously. “Yeah. Anyways, I should—” My stomach decided to be quite rude and interrupt me with a loud grumble. No manners whatsoever.

Cadence, however, giggled. “Sounds like someone’s hungry after their lesson.”

My ears folded back. I thought about Sunset in her actual lesson with Princess Celestia. Was she hungry, too? She hadn’t grabbed any food like she had promised. Big meanie.

A pretty pink hoof tapped my shoulder. “Hey, why don’t we go grab some breakfast together? It’d be nice to finally sit down and just talk.”

The little beads of sweat on the back of my neck gathered into several rivers and flowed right down my back. Somewhere along that river was my common sense screaming, “Noooooooo!” I entertained all the bad things that could happen if ponies learned there were two of me walking around.

At the same time, my stomach was being rude again and making successive grunting noises, voicing its clear opinion on the matter. I get it, you’re hungry!

I weighed the idea in my mind. This might have been my only chance to walk around as a free pony before I had to merge back with miss grumpy pants. Celestia knew she wasn’t going to let me wander around freely. And I would get to spend time with Cadence. The idea was greatly appealing. I hadn’t had a friend in…

Have I ever had a friend before?

Well, that decided it.

I beamed at Cadence. “Sure, breakfast sounds great!”

We set off down the corridors together. I wasn’t going to invoke the wrath of the natural universe by asking what could go wrong. Instead, I prayed that the consequences would only happen after I had eaten.

Like A Sack of Dumb Puppies

“Concentrate, Sunset.” There it was again. That heavenly voice tempered with a thousand years of patience and wisdom.

I hated that voice with a burning passion. Not quite as hot as the sun itself because I hate irony, but still pretty hot.

“I’m trying,” I managed to say between gritted teeth. I kept my eyes closed, mostly to keep Celestia out of my view. My horn glowed in teal majesty, with a similar glow surrounding the potted plant just in front of me. Currently, it was nothing more than a sprout, but by the time I was through with it, it would be a beanstalk!

At least, that was the plan.

Something was wrong. I shouldn’t have been having trouble with something so easy. Accelerated growth was foal’s play. But my magic seemed… distant. Pushing it to its limit only seemed to give me a headache, which in turn made me even more frustrated, which made me pour even more magic into the spell, which made my head hurt…

Some might see this as a bad cycle. But I believe in, if at first you don’t succeed, try hitting it harder. That applies to magic as well.

“You can do this, Sunset, just focus your energy.”

Mind your business, you overbearing hag! It was a true fortune that I was gritting my teeth so hard, otherwise, I would have vocalized those thoughts. Of course I was focusing! What, did she think I was imitating somepony passing a kidney stone for fun?

I pushed my magic as far as it could go, but it still felt like it was only halfway to its…

Halfway.

“Celestia-dammit!” The pot exploded, sending shards of pottery and dirt flying all over the room. A dirt clod hit me right in the cheek and slid onto the floor. Contained in it was the sprout.

If it was any consolation, I had made it grow about… half an inch.

I looked up at Celestia, covered in dirt and small pieces of the brown pot. She sighed, an action that still managed to carry eternal grace and patience. What would it take to break her?

My eyes darted over to the window curtains. She probably wouldn’t act so graceful if she was suffocating.

The thought was driven from my mind when she used her magic to push the debris to the side of the room. She then looked at me, her loving eyes filled with motherly concern.

I wanted to gouge them out.

I’m extra violent today.

“Is something the matter, Sunset? That’s an intermediate level spell; you normally have no trouble with those.”

Her flowing mane, her long legs, her elegant wings, her spiraled horn. Princess Celestia was the picture of perfection. All of it was only complimented by her grace, wisdom, sincerity, and love. On a normal day, whenever I was mad at her, I felt bad about it shortly afterwards. She was the mother I had never known.

Now, without that wretched thing that called herself Shimmer, I only felt loathing and disdain. And I liked it.

Still, she was the Princess and my mentor. I had to mind her, otherwise I’d lose my standing. So, I swallowed my vulgarities and tried to smile at her. “No, Princess, I just… didn’t get much sleep last night.”

She smiled. “Another long night of studying?”

Oh, you have no idea. And if I have it my way, you never will. “You know me too well, Princess.”

Her smile never wavered as she stepped closer and draped a wing around me. I locked up at the physical contact, and had to forcefully restrain myself from sitting her on fire. In hindsight she’s probably flame retardant anyway.

“Sunset, you know I love your dedication to your studies—”

My eyes bulged and my ears begged me to rip them off. Dear moon above, here it comes again!

“—but you must understand there’s more to life than books and spells. Why not go out and spend some time in the city? Or, perhaps you could set up a tutoring service for your fellow peers? That way, you can keep to your studies and possibly make some new friends.”

This time, I couldn’t fight the annoyed growl rising in my throat. It escaped and practically sang its freedom. I knew there was no sense in playing it off, so I followed through and met Celestia’s concerned face with a deadpan glare.

“I don’t want to.” Short, simple, to the point.

“Why ever not, Sunset?”

Apparently, she isn’t as good at reading ponies as I thought. What, did my death glare not give a clear enough message that I hate anyone who isn’t me?

… Actually, that’s not even true anymore. I hate Shimmer… and she’s technically me. Barely. The point still stands though!

“Why should I waste my time helping others because they’re too dumb to understand basic lessons?” Out of all the responses in my head, that was the least malicious.

To my satisfaction, it broke the calm mask Celestia wore so tightly. I bit the inside of me cheek to stop myself from grinning as her eyes narrowed and her mouth formed a thin line.

“Sunset, I’m growing concerned with this arrogant attitude you’ve been displaying as of late. Not everypony is as gifted at magic as you.”

“I’m not seeing how that’s my problem. I appreciate the compliment though.” I liked this game.

Celestia withdrew her wing, to my immense satisfaction. “Sunset Shimmer, it’s time we had a talk about your behavior.”

Ooooh, she was using her ‘angry’ voice. It wasn’t really angry, it was more of ‘I’m so disappointed in you’. A day ago, I might have wilted under it, but again, I was just trying to keep myself from bursting out in laughter. Seeing Celestia’s look of displeasure sent a shiver of delight down my spine.

“What has gotten into lately, Sunset? This is not how I expect my personal student to act. Yes, your gift at magic is great, but you need to show more humility with your abilities.” Celestia took a pause and sighed. “I understand your desire for solitude, but I implore you to go out and make a few friends. Perhaps it would curb this sudden bout of rude behavior.”

Oh, the things I could have said in response. But I had probably poked the dragon enough today. Besides, I had more pressing matters I needed to attend to. That damnable replica had half of my magic! I needed to get it back before Celestia learned that a lack of sleep was not the reason my abilities were hindered.

So, I gave her a sad smile and nodded my head instead of launching into a tirade about how she needed to stop treating me like a foal and give me what I clearly deserved! “I’m sorry, Princess. Looking back, that was very rude of me. I guess it’s the lack of sleep. And maybe you’re right, maybe getting out of the castle would be good for me.”

Celestia gave me a critical eye. I wore my false sincerity quite well if I do say so myself. She finally relented and released some of the tension in her shoulders. “Well… why don’t you run along and take a nap. Afterwards, I insist you go out and spend some time with Cadence.”

I blanched. “What?”

“Sunset, you’ve been avoiding her ever since she came to the castle. It’s high time you acknowledged the fact that she’s going to be in your life for quite some time.” She sighed again. “I’m sorry I sprung her on you out of the blue, but she isn’t taking away anything you’re working for. Just go spend some time with her, get to know her.”

Once again, I failed to hide my grumble of displeasure. I could easily fake going down to the city and spending time with the commoners. But spending time with Cadence? Celestia was playing dirty now.

“Please, Sunset. For me.”

Ha! That wasn’t going to work. I took the bait, however, just to get out of this situation and get back to my room. I’d figure a way to weasel out of it later.

“Okay, Princess.” I stood to leave before she could ask me to donate a kidney or help feed the homeless. She didn’t say anything as I walked through the door, but I could feel her eyes on the back of my neck. If she knew I was lying, she didn’t say anything.

I carried myself down the halls, feeling an emptiness in my stomach. Perhaps some food would have been good for me. I shook my head. Translating magic first, food second.

Yes, I had my priorities straight, thank you very much!

Of course, I began to doubt whether or not I could pull off the reverse spell that would bring me and Shimmer back together with only half of my total magic. The diffusion spell had put me beyond my absolute limit. Likely, we would both have to cast the spell.

Down the last corridor to my room, the guard on duty gave a little wave and said, “Hello, Miss Sunset, how was your lesson?”

I stopped and turned my head, arching an eyebrow. “Excuse me, who gave you permission to speak?”

His conversational smile melted off his face. “W-well, technically speaking, no one, ma’am. But you—”

“But nothing!” I snapped. “Just stand there like the good wall decoration you are and keep quiet. Celestia doesn’t pay you to gab.”

He sighed, looking dejected and pitiful. “Yes, ma’am.”

Oh, how I loved to kick ponies into the dirt. It helps that I can’t remember his name. Polish Shield? Shine Sword? Eh, who cares?

I entered my room and shut the door behind me. “All right, Shimmer, here’s…”

The room was empty.

I sprinted over and stuck my head under the bed, then checked the closet, and was even desperate enough to look under the rug. Of course she wasn’t under the rug! I was just that desperate!

I stood in the middle of the room, eye twitching in fury. “I’m going to drown her,” I said softly. “I’m going to drown her like a sack of dumb puppies.”

Yes, I’m not above doing that!

It was actually a soothing thought, listening to them gurgle in the bag while they feebly struggled—my maniacal laughter just barely covering their last whines.

Yesterday, I might have sought professional help. Today, I was enjoying these morbid thoughts.

Two voices floated through my door, and I pressed myself against the wood to see who it was.

“Hi, Saber Shine!” a disgustingly chipper voice sang. So that’s his name. Like a good guard, he didn’t respond. “What’s the matter?”

“Ahem, you uh… told me not to speak, remember?”

“I… oh… uhhhh… I’m sorry, Saber, I was just hungry. You know how grouchy I am when I’m hungry.” The stupid clone gave an unconvincing laugh. “But, I just teleported to the kitchen and got some food, so I’m all good now!”

“Well, I’m happy to hear that, ma’am.”

“Just call me Sunset. Or Shimmer. Or Sunset Shimmer. But none of that ma’am, or, milady thing. I want us to be friends.”

“Heh, if you say so, ma—ahem, Sunset.”

“There you go!”

My mind continued to conjure up ways to kill her. Drowning was too good. So was anything that would be quick. Unfortunately, that took out the iron maiden as well.

The doorknob turned, and I quickly hid behind the frame to keep out of view. Shimmer walked in, and I slammed the door behind her.

“You had one, simple, job,” I hissed between my teeth. “Stay. Here. And you couldn’t even do that right.”

She flinched and turned around. “Umm… well…” She held out a muffin. “Hungry?”

I lunged at her.

Author's Note

So, on a scale of one to Vesper Radiance, how evil do you think this Sunset is?

Woohoo, I Win!

If I got any consolation out of this beating, it was that Sunset felt it too. Yes, it was a tiny consolation, but I take what I can get. I’m an optimist; sue me.

Wham!

“Ow!”

“Ow!”

Wham!

“Ow!”

“Ow!”

Wham!

“Owwwwiieeee! Are you done hitting me yet?”

“Are you done being stupid?”

“I’m not gonna answer that; it’s a trick question!”

Sunset put her hoof down and grunted. “Good answer.” She sat down and nursed her own shoulder, trying to keep a straight face, but I could see the pain in her eyes. The big meanie deserved it.

No she didn’t, that’s mean to think about.

No wait, she did. She hit me!

I sat up and rubbed my bruised shoulder. It wasn’t too bad, but it would be sore in the morning. Well, after that little experience, I felt I deserved the muffin I had tried to offer Sunset. It sat forgotten on the carpet, miraculously undamaged from the scuffle. Just as I reached for it with my magic, Sunset snatched it up and took a large bite out of it, giving me the evil eye all the while.

I scrunched my face momentarily before taking a calm breath. She could have the muffin. I just had a lovely breakfast with Cadence, and the muffin was supposed to be a peace offering. Judging by the look in her eyes, however, I could only see the sparks of war.

A mad, blood filled war with foals screaming for parents that would never come… endless agony and despair while fire rained from the heavens…

She blinked, setting me free from her hypnotic trance. Separated or whole, we had some issues to work out.

I smiled politely at her. “Soooo, how was your lesson?”

Sunset set the muffin on the dresser and gave me her hateful war mongering eyes. “You have half my magic. I want it back,” she said in a low, even voice.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” I flinched when she stormed up to me, growling like a junkyard dog.

“It was fan-freaking-tastic! I juggled tap dancing cats while solving Star Swirl’s Time Paradox, then Celestia and I had a big heart-to-heart and cried into each other’s shoulders!”

“Really? That sounds—”

The second she drew her hoof back was the second I realized she was being sarcastic.

Wham!

“Ooooowwww!” both of us hollered.

“Miss… Sunset, are you okay?” Saber Shine asked.

Sunset opened her mouth, most likely to verbally assault him, but I wasn’t about to let her ruin my new friendship. I shoved my hoof into her mouth, ignoring the teeth biting into my skin. “Yep, I’m fine! I just… dropped a book on my hoofiiieeeee!” Sunset’s teeth dug deeper, almost drawing blood.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Never better! I appreciate your concern—ah, ah! You’re a great poniiieee—stop that!”

“Sunset?”

“Talking to a bird! Go back to your post! I’m peachy keen!” There was a moment’s hesitation before I heard his hoofsteps retreat from the door. I pulled my hoof free from the vicious cavern that was Sunset’s mouth, appalled by the amount of saliva on it. A fine imprint of her teeth decorated my ankle.

Examining her, I found she had none of the marks or bruises I had, but was still clutching her hoof close to her chest. All the while, that vitriol glare never left her face.

“Never. Do. That. Again.”

“Only if you promise to be nice to other ponies,” I said, stubbornly.

Her horn took on a teal glow, and charged electricity danced around the tip. My air of confidence blew away faster than the north wind, and I huddled against the carpet, bracing myself for divine retribution.

“Listen, you saccharine, cheap knock off, in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t do nice. I hate everyone. Unless your name is Celestia, I’m not going to even try to hide my disdain for you. The faster you understand that, the less of a beating I’ll deal you, understand?”

“But you get hurt too!”

“I’ll tolerate it!” Her horn powered down, and she let out a tired grunt. “But, if all goes well, I’ll only have to deal with you for a day at most.” She trotted over to the bed and picked up the spell book.

My ears folded against my head. If we merged back together, what would happen to me? We’re the same pony, but this is the first time I’ve felt so… aware, so independent, so like Sunset Shimmer since I was a foal. It’s hard to explain. But if we became one again, I knew Sunset would be the dominant one. I’d be reduced to the angel on her shoulder that she ignores.

“All right,” she said, “Hopefully this is the reverse spell. It’s going to take me a while to translate it, but once I’m finished, I’m going to need you to help me.” She narrowed her eyes. “That’s not a request by the way, you’re going to help me whether you want to or not.”

I rested my chin against the carpet. “Okay,” I said dejectedly.

“Good replica.” She was about to get comfy on the bed when a hoof rapt gently against the door.

“Sunset, it’s Cadence. Did you still want to go shopping?”

If looks could kill, I’d be dead. No, I’d be deader than dead. Is there a word for that? Super dead? Mega dead? I’ll come back to that. The point is, Sunset’s death glare showed me all the horrible things waiting for me in Tartarus. I didn’t know I could be so intimidating.

Well, no, I did. I guess you just don’t know how intimidating you are until you intimidate yourself.

“You didn’t,” she hissed.

“I did,” I whispered with a sheepish grin.

“You’re dead.”

“I know.”

“Sunset?” Cadence asked with another knock.

“Just a second,” I squeaked.

Sunset marched across the room, gnashing her teeth. Her horn lit up, and tossed me into the far corner where I landed on my back.

I don’t know what it was, but in that moment, I knew I couldn’t let Sunset talk to Cadence. What would ensue would be worse than the flailing she would have given Saber Shine. I finally had two friends, and even if Sunset and I did have to join together again, I wanted to keep them as long as possible.

I don’t like violence, but in that moment, I wasn’t above it.

Before Sunset reached the door handle, I lifted her in my magic and dragged her to the back of the room. I jumped over her and ran for the door. Her own magic locked my legs in place, and she kicked me in the side as she passed me. I undid her binding charm and tackled her. It was so weird. I was on top of her, but then, it felt like somepony was on top of me. I would have laughed if Sunset wasn’t trying to strangle me.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked, her whisper lethal.

“Making sure you don’t hurt Cadence in any way!”

“What part of ‘I hate everyone’ did you not get?”

“That’s why you can’t talk to her! I like her!”

“You’re dead to me!”

“I can live with that!”

… Why did I make a joke? It only got me a punch to the nose. Thankfully, it didn’t draw blood.

“Sunset, is everything all right in there?”

“Yep!” I said as chipper as possible. “Just, erk, cleaning up a little!” Sunset kicked me off and rolled to her hooves. She fired a bolt of magic that just missed me and hit the carpet, setting it on fire. I quickly stamped it out while reflecting another attack. It reversed and hit Sunset in the chest. Both of us doubled over and wheezed, but I recovered first.

I grabbed Sunset in my magic and flung her into the closet, locking the door behind her.

Woohoo, I win!

She pounded the door once, then fell silent. Even then, I could feel the waves of hatred radiating from the tiny room. It’s a good thing we didn’t share any sort of mind link. I could only imagine the vulgar expletives being thrown at me.

I straightened my mane and opened the door, finding Cadence with a very concerned look. “Are you okay? I thought I heard noises.” She got a better look at me, and her pupils dilated. “Sunset, what happened to you?”

“Oh this?” I waved a hoof and laughed. “It’s no big deal, really.”

“You’re covered in bruises! And is that a bite mark?”

“Yes… I bit myself.”

“Why?”

“I do that when I’m studying.”

Cadence formed her mouth into a thin line. “Do you also beat yourself up?”

I was starting to sweat now. Lying used to be so easy. Kinda wish I was good at it right now. “No. That was… A bird.”

Cadence raised an eyebrow. “A bird?”

“Yes. I summoned a bird.”

“You summoned a bird?”

“It was a big bird!”

“You summoned a big bird that punched you?”

“It was not happy to be summoned.”

Cadence stared me down for what felt like forever. Even Saber Shine was giving me a skeptical look from down the hall. I had to hand it to Cadence, for only being here for a short while, she was getting pretty close to Princess Celestia in harnessing the power of the ‘I-know-you’re-lying-but-I’m-waiting-for-you-to-tell-the-truth-on-your-own-because-I-believe-you’re-a-good-pony’ look.

“Sunset—”

“So, about that shopping!”

Cadence hung her head. “Are you sure you don’t need to go to the infirmary?”

I waved a hoof again, regretting it was the one Sunset had bit. “I’ll be fine! Can’t even feel it!”

Cadence raised a hoof in hesitation, like she thought I would bite her. I smiled reassuringly at her, and she gingerly rested it on my shoulder. There was still a look of protest in her eye, but she said, “Let’s at least get you a little cleaned up so ponies won’t think someone mugged you.”

I nodded. “That sounds nice.”

She led the way down the corridor. “Spa and shopping it is! I can’t wait until you meet the family I sit for. Shining and Twilight are the best! I hope you don’t mind I invited them.”

“Oh no, the more the merrier! I can’t wait to meet new ponies!” I said that both in honesty and to scorn Sunset. Guess I could be a little vindictive if I still wanted to be. It left an unpleasant feeling in my tummy though.

“Have a good afternoon, ladies,” Saber Shine said with a bow.

“Thank you, Saber!” He’s so nice. So was Cadence. Everyone in the castle was really nice. So why did I come out so mean?

Well, I decided to enjoy this day of being not mean and having friends! It was probably going to be the only one I got!

At Least I Have the Muffin

Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.

No, hate was too good for her. But loathing seemed weaker than hate. Repugnance? Despise? Ugghh, there wasn’t a word strong enough in the Equine dictionary to even come close to the amount of disdain I felt for that disgusting, pathetic, impotent, flowery abomination that unfortunately shared my face!

Sweet Celestia and Nightmare Moon above, I wanted to hit something so badly at that moment.

I contemplated blasting the closet door down, but that would raise Shine Sliders’ suspicion. So, I quietly opened it, then levitated my pillow toward me and tore into it with gusto. Fluff and cloth flew everywhere, drifting about the room, sinking gently to the floor.

My anger was not quelled. But since that feather brained idiot did the unthinkable and went out with the pink horror from Tartarus, I was stuck in my room with little release for my frustration.

… No, I’m not going to do that. Perverts.

I settled for pacing. Well, more like stomping across the floor back and forth. It did nothing to shorten my fuse, so I conjured a paper bag, went back to the closet, and screamed as loud as I could into the bag.

… Nope, still royally pissed!

I marched out and set the bag on fire, watching the paper curl in on itself before turning to ash and fading from existence. Looking about my room, I was faced with the reality that I could only seethe in silence.

“Oh, she’s so going to get it when she gets back.”

My stomach growled in vicious agreement. Oh no, it wanted food. I looked to my dresser and found the little pastry still sitting there, a large bite taken out of it. I picked it up and held it to my mouth. “Well, at least I still have the muffin.” I finished it in one bite.

It tasted like disappointment.

With that finished, I hopped onto my bed and settled down to translate the spell. Might as well do something productive while I wait. Part of me wanted to spend time conjuring ways of torturing and/or killing the replica. But I knew I couldn’t bring most of them to reality without causing myself extreme physical discomfort.

Still, it was fun to think about. Should I burn her, or asphyxiate her? Cut off her legs and watch her flail around until she bleeds to death! Rip out her intestines and use it as a noose! “Ha! Hahahahahaha!” I cleared my throat and focused on my book. Laughing maniacally was for cheesy fiction villains.

I stuck to giggling quietly to myself.

As the hour passed, whatever modicum of euphoria I had died as I labored over the ancient runes and came to a horrid conclusion.

“This isn’t the right spell.” I looked to my translated notes, cross checking them with the translation book. Whatever spell I was studying wasn’t a reverse spell. I flipped the page back, my heart beginning to race. Did I accidentally skip a page? No, sadly not. I recognized the runes and knew this had been the balancing spell.

My blood boiled, and the urge to burn down everything around me returned with a vengeance. I curbed my anger by reassuring myself that the table of contents could direct me to the spell I needed. I flipped to the front of the book, to a page that resembled a list of names and began my work again.

By the end of the next hour, screams were clawing at my throat. I had almost finished the page, and I saw nothing that sounded like a way to put myself back together. I couldn’t tell if I was panicking or infuriated. Probably both. I slammed the book shut, and buried my face in the pillow I hadn’t destroyed.

“Why? Why, why, why, why, why? Aaaaaaggggggggghhhhhh!” I couldn’t kill her. And the way things were going, I couldn’t put us back together. It was only a matter of time until Celestia found out what I did.

That idea to ship Shimmer to Saddle Arabia was looking pretty good right about now.

Author's Note

Hmmmm. My shortest chapter ever.

Smile Through the Existential Horror

It was a bright and beautiful day in Canterlot! Only two wispy, thin clouds were in the sky, looking like the crest of a wave. The rest of it was a breathtaking blue that made me want to sing! But, since that might raise a few more odd questions about my sharp turn in behavior, I settled for skipping.

Cadence and I trotted down the main thoroughfare, away from the castle. She had given me a little blush to cover up a bruise on my cheek, and I thought it complemented my facial features wonderfully. Why have I never used make-up before? Probably because I was so vain, I didn’t think I needed it.

Birds sang in the trees, the stream bubbled giddily, and just down the hill, all of Canterlot buzzed about in their day-to-day merriment.

“Wow, Sunset. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy,” Cadence said. Her lips were turned up in a smile, but her eyes were cautious.

I stopped skipping and just walked beside her. “Well… I’m just in a really good mood right now. It’s been awhile since I left the castle for anything other than school.” I frowned. “Am I bothering you?”

"No! No, no, no, no!” Cadence shook her head, bouncing her locks left and right. “It’s just… new, that’s all. I just have to adjust.” She smiled again. “Really, I’m happy you want to give this friendship a try.”

“And I’m happy you’re happy!” I said jubilantly. I resumed my skipping, this time to Cadence’s amusement. Seeing her hold a hoof up to hide her giggle gave me warm fuzzies all around.

It’s like Sunset was a negative force and without her pushing against me, my happiness was free to reach maximum levels! Carpe diem! I was gonna have fun like it was my last day to live. You know, since it probably was.

The city was hustling and bustling like usual. The rich and powerful strutting around like they owned the place, the middle-class workers carrying themselves with tired pride, knowing that they earned their livings, and the occasional beggar, hooves out for change. It was all so wonderful! Well, you know, except for those poor beggars. Life could be unfair sometimes. Cadence was nice enough to hand them a few coins from her saddlebag. Isn’t she the best?

It was drawing close to lunch time, and the smell from all the bakeries and veggie stands mixed together to create a wonderful aroma that made me salivate. Bad tummy! You just ate an hour ago!

Feed me, filly! it seemed to growl.

I ignored it as Cadence led me to the day spa. First pampering, then food. Yes, I had my priorities straight!

We stepped into the checkered lounge, incense and herbs masking the aroma of food outside. The spa was large and well-lit, with round windows near the roof to let sunlight drop down from above. A curtain separated the lounge from the rest of the facilities.

The mare at the counter smiled brightly at Cadence. “Princess! Good day to you! Here for your usual?”

“Sorry, Mineral, in a bit of a hurry today. But, I brought a friend with me.” Cadence gestured to me, and I gave a hearty wave.

Mineral smiled at me as well. “Lovely, Princess! Right this way.” She took two sets of towels and led us to the back room.

“You’re going to love this, Sunset!” Cadence said. “A nice, relaxing soak in a hot, mineral water bath is just what you need. I’d get us a mud bath and a deep tissue massage, but I don’t want to keep Shiny and Twily waiting.”

“That’s okay, Cadence. All of this sounds wonderful as is.” I’d never had a mud bath before, believing rolling in mud was for earth ponies. I’d have to try one if I ever got the chance.

Cadence set her saddlebag on a chair and kicked off her regalia as she approached the hot tub raised on a dais at the back of the spa. The skylight above it was tinted gold, so when the sun shined through, the tub glittered with a heavenly light like it was the fountain of youth. Cadence pulled her hair into a bun and wrapped her towel around it before easing herself into the bubbling water. I copied her movements and stepped into the tub, an involuntary sigh escaping me.

Mineral turned on some soothing music, filling the room with sitars and soft pounding drums. She turned an hourglass over and left Cadence and I alone.

“Wow,” I said dreamily, “this is really nice.”

“Isn’t it?”

“How often do you do this?”

“At least once a week.” Cadence rested her head against the rim. “You’re free to join me whenever you want.”

I beamed at her. “Thanks, Cadence, I appreciate that.” Even though this is probably the only chance I’ll get. I wondered how the other me was doing with her research. She probably found a way to merge us together again and was just waiting for me to come back.

What if I never came back though? What if I just ran away and lived my own life? Being totally honest, the idea was tempting. Even with half magic, I was still pretty strong; I could easily get a job somewhere. In fact, the only thing stopping me from rolling with this idea was that Sunset would go berserk if I ran away, and I’d hold myself responsible for whatever carnage she’d create.

No, it would ultimately be for the best if we fused together again. At least then, we’d be a little more mellowed out and less prone to violent attacks. Maybe.

“Everything all right, Sunset?” Cadence asked.

I snapped my head up, unaware that I had been staring at bubbles the entire time. “Oh, uh, yeah, I’m cool, totally cool. I mean, not like cool cool, ‘cause, you know, we’re in a hot tub. But like, you know, cool as fine… and stuff. Ha ha.”

I’m also really bad at this thing called lying.

Cadence blinked in response. “Are you sure?”

I dropped the fake smile I had plastered to my face and lowered myself until the water was right at my chin. “No.” How much could I tell Cadence? More importantly, what would she repeat to Celestia? Even more Importantly, what would Sunset do to me if she found out I told Cadence who told Celestia?

That would end very badly for one of us!

Still, Cadence was looking at me expectantly now. Friends confided in each other, right? I’m pretty sure that was somewhere in the Friendship Code. I wouldn’t really know since… you know, kinda been a jerk up until now. Anyway, I felt obligated to tell Cadence something.

I decided to be as vague as possible. “I’m just worried about my future. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.” I may be bad at lying outright, but I was pretty good at lying by omission.

Cadence crossed the pool and sat next to me, offering me a smile that made the water cold by comparison. “Everypony is scared of the future at some point, Sunset. It’s natural. But you’re a gifted unicorn learning from Celestia.” She sighed. “You should hear how she talks about you sometimes. It… actually makes me a little jealous.”

I gaped at her, getting a little spa water in my mouth. It would have been refreshing if it weren’t so hot. “You’re jealous of me?” To be honest, I didn’t think jealousy was an emotion she could feel.

Cadence gave a sheepish shake of her hoof. “It’s just… everything seems to come so easy to you. You’re so good with magic, you’re at the top of every class, you get to have all these advanced lessons with Celestia.”

“Well, yeah, but look at you! Everyone loves you! You’re an alicorn, you’re beautiful, you get to call Princess Celestia Auntie!” I sank lower into the pool, so the water was just below my lips. “You have friends and family that care about you. You have all the important things.”

After a brief hesitation, Cadence gave me a soft hug. “Believe it or not, Sunset, I care about you. I cared about you since we first met. You were always by yourself, and I could feel your sadness beneath all your… anger and unpleasantness. But more than me, Celestia loves you dearly. And I’m sure you could make plenty more friends if you… umm…”

I saved her the trouble of finding the right words to describe me. “Stopped being a you-know-what with a stick up my you-know-where?” What? Profanity is bad.

“I was just going to say if you were nicer, but that works too.” Cadence smiled. “You’re doing good so far. I’m sure Twily and Shiny are going to love you.”

And I was probably going to love them too, mostly because the concept of hate seemed incredibly foreign right now. I smiled and returned Cadence’s hug, which encouraged her to give me a friendly squeeze. Hugs are so nice.

We lounged for twenty more minutes before it was time to leave. I followed Cadence to the shower stalls to rinse and dry off. As I ran the warm towel down my backside, I notice something off in my mirror’s reflection. I turned to the side to get a better view, and my eyes enlarged to dinner plates.

This day just went from good to bad.

The paint on my cutie mark had completely washed off, leaving it as just a yellow sun. Looking at it, I felt naked, exposed, and doomed. If Cadence saw, she would know something was wrong! I had no paint to recolor it again, no clothes to cover up.

Maybe she won’t notice. She’s straight, she won’t be staring at my flank anyway! I just have to stay behind her! I could already see the holes in that plan. Still, I had little else to do.

“Sunset, are you ready?” Cadence asked, knocking on my stall door.

This plan was doomed to fail before it started. “Y-yeah, here I come.” I opened the stall and stepped out at an angle, using my tail to cover my cutie mark as subtly as possible. Cadence smiled at me, seeming not to notice my nervous disposition. As she turned away, I noticed the saddlebags on her back, and thought fast.

Wrapping them in my magic, I pulled them off and slid them onto my back, wearing them close to my flanks so the bags covered by mark. “That looks heavy, Cadence, let me hold onto it for a while,” I said cheerfully.

“Oh no, I couldn’t let you—”

“I insist!” I almost shouted. “I mean, it’s the least I could do for the spa treatment.”

Cadence tilted her head. “Well, if you’re sure. Just let me get the bits to pay Mineral.”

“Don’t worry, I got it!” I don’t know why I was still shouting. I pulled the bits out via magic and dropped them on the counter as we walked out.

“Thank you, Mineral, the water was fantastic!” Cadence gushed.

“Of course, Your Majesty! Always happy to see you!”

Out we went, Cadence with a genuine smile and me smiling like my life depended on it, possibly because it did. Oh, there was a thought I didn’t need. Would Celestia blast me on the spot if she found out about me? Would I merge back into Sunset’s consciousness, or just fade from existence?

Just keep smiling. Smile through the existential horror.

That Sweet Feeling Knowing You’re Superior to Everypony Around You

If I had any friends, boredom would be my closet right now.

I laid sprawled on my bed, still seething in silence. Well, maybe ‘seething’ wasn’t the right word; I was too hungry to seethe anymore. I was quietly angry. I stared up at the ceiling with nothing else to do but count the crystals hanging from the chandelier. Fifty-two in case you were wondering. The rune book had been deposited to the floor during my last quiet temper tantrum. Perhaps there was still a spell in there that could correct this mess, but I was too hungry and annoyed to look for it.

Stupid replica. She got to go gallivanting around town with the pink, prissy, princess while I wasted away in here! I mean, I wouldn’t reverse that situation even if I was dying in here, but it still pissed me off! She was outside, which meant she could get food! Spear Sparkle had already seen ‘me’ leave. If he saw me leave again, he’d probably get suspicious, even with my excuse of teleporting.

I needed to get out of here. Just to grab something to eat. The only question was how? Did I have enough magic to teleport a safe distance out of the room? I hesitated to try; failure could mean splicing, and I know I didn’t have enough magic for a healing spell.

I lifted my head to the window, where birds chirped and the sun shone brightly on the other side. It made me sick. Although, it did give me a cliché idea. I could always sneak out the window. Sure, I’m a few stories off the ground, but what’s life without a little challenge?

Gathering my strength, I rolled off my bed and onto my hooves, popping my joints as I stretched. I trotted to the window and pushed them open, letting a warm breeze wash over me. The courtyard spread out beneath my tower, and for a moment, I felt like a princess standing tall above her domain. My blasted stomach and its insistent growling spoiled the moment. Princess’ stomachs don’t growl. I had spent enough time with Celestia to know that. I wonder if she ever actually got hungry, or just ate to look normal? How did immortality work?

Questions for when I’m immortal, I thought, shaking my head. The ground looked further away than I remembered. A possible side effect when you’re trying to escape from a high tower. Still, no match for my genius. A simple suction cup spell would allow me to walk down the wall with ease. Basic magic, it wouldn’t even leave me taxed… hypothetically.

My horn lit up, and my hooves glowed in a teal light matching my magic. I clambered out the window and put a tentative step against the marble bricks. Pulling away required a bit of effort, meaning my spell was a success! The rest of my body followed the first hoof, and I was on my way down the tower for lunch.

Looking at the world from this angle was odd. I knew I was facing downward, the blood pushing against my face told me as much, but everything looked straight. I was walking toward a solid wall of courtyard while another wall of sky floated behind me.

Now all I need is for the guards to not look up. A few were positioned around the courtyard, making their normal rounds. Like the good, incompetent guards they were, they only looked forward and occasionally checked their peripherals. Ah, that sweet feeling knowing you’re superior to everypony around you!

The universe has a sick sense of humor, because at that time, my magic chose to fizzle out and drop me the last two stories into the bushes. Thankfully, the gardener really loves his job, so the bush proved lush and soft. It still stung, bramble cutting into me and the impact leaving me dazed.

Well, at least I’m on the ground. I got up and shook myself out, wincing at a bruise on my shoulder. I hope replica feels that! Checking to make sure nopony was looking my way, I exited the bush, took the leaves out my hair, and proceeded back to the main entrance. The hard part was over. Now I just had to decided what I had a hankering for. Though, keeping out of Celestia’s path would probably be a wise decision as well. No need to complicate things.

“Hello, Sunset.”

“Hello, Princess.”

I grounded to a stop in the middle of the hall.

Son of a— Turning around, her royal blindingness looked down at me, all smiles as usual. If I had claws, I’d tear her face off. What, was she waiting for me to come down to eat? Trying to catch me in the act, is that it? Well, she’s clearly forgotten who she’s dealing with.

“Cadence told me you had agreed to spend the day with her,” she said. No accusation in her voice, just calm, wise, and understanding tones. But I knew better. She knew something was up.

“Yes,” I said with a smile. “We went out, did a little shopping. You know, mare stuff. I had fun.”

She looked into my eyes, trying to find the lie. Technically speaking, it wasn’t a lie. Shimmer was out doing who cared what with her. If I begrudgingly admit she’s me, then I’m not lying.

Hmm, do I want to admit she’s me? In this brief instance, sure.

Celestia reached a hoof out, and against my better nature, I flinched. When she brought it back, she showed me a leaf leftover from my fall. “It was sticking out of your mane.”

“Oh, haha, yeah, me and Cadence played in the park for a little while. Good times.” My stomach growled again, and for the first time, I was grateful for it. “Well, all that bonding made me famished. I’m going to grab a bite to eat.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t grab something while you were out.”

I weighed my hoof. “Common street food, or gourmet castle dining. Hmmm, choices.” With that, I turned back down the hall, restraining myself from flicking my tail in Celestia’s face. Ha, sucker!

“Make sure you get some sleep tonight,” she called after me. “We’re going to be working on advanced spells tomorrow.”

Screw you! Great, I was going to be up all night trying to put me and Shimmer back together. Otherwise, if Celestia didn’t think something was up now, she would by tomorrow. But, that was an angry thought for later. I required sustenance to restore my drive to be angry.

I marched into the kitchen, stomping the floor to get the chef’s attention. “I require a meal!” I said in my best authoritative voice.

The kitchen was spotless as always. A massive room with four ovens, three stations for chopping, two stations for slicing, two for mixing, one for stirring, and another for cooling. Utensils hung from the ceiling, and pots and pans were carefully organized in their respective cabinets. The organizational neat freak in me appreciated such a well-maintained space.

The hunger in me was ready to tear this place apart in search of food.

Cuisine, the head chef, hurried to my side. He was lanky with a light purple coat and short brown mane tucked under his chef hat. “Lady Sunset, always a pleasure to see you here.” He bowed and smiled. “What would you like?”

Unlike Sparkle Sword, I liked Cuisine, if only for the sole purpose that he had the power to make my meals terrible. If I had to be nice to anyone, it would be the ponies handling my food. “Please, deliver to me your best sandwich with a side of hay fries.”

“At once, my lady!” He clapped his hooves together. “Chop chop! One supreme and hay fries for the young lady!”

The kitchen staff got to work immediately, cutting tomatoes, chopping lettuce, frying hay. Within five minutes, a well prepared sandwich with a side of fries hovered before me. Excellent service befitting a soon-to-be princess.

“Is it to your fancy?” Cuisine asked with an expectant smile.

I took a bite. Crisp lettuce, a combination of the sweetest flowers, honey bread. “It’s satisfactory,” I said, cheeks full. I took the food in my magic and turned on my hooves. “Thank you for your services.”

Finally, I could get my stomach to shut up. A decadent sandwich and a nap would give me the strength to pummel Shimmer when she came back. I opened wide to take another bite when a sharp pain struck my right eye. It felt like someone had jabbed my cornea.

My hoof instinctively jumped to it, but the pain persisted. Before I knew it, my magic failed for a moment, and my food fell onto the carpet, flowers and fries spilling everywhere.

For a minute, I forgot about the pain in my eye as anger rose through me like a gushing geyser. I ground my teeth together, expecting powder to fill my mouth. As it turned out, I didn’t need food and sleep to get my hatred back. I just needed a new reason to kill somepony.

And brutal evisceration was looking real good right now.

Next Time, if you Want to Keep Something from Me, Get Better Security

You know, whistling whenever you’ve done something you’re not supposed to do only makes you look more suspicious.

It was something I was fully aware. Yet, as I walked down the dim corridors of Canterlot Castle with my saddlebag on my back, whenever I stopped, I heard my hooves tapping on the floor and shouting to everypony that something was wrong. At least when I whistled, to the cadence of ‘Don’t notice me, don’t look at me’ repeating over and over in my head, I felt less conspicuous.

Curse my conscience.

Of course, I wouldn’t have had to sneak a book from the forbidden section of the library if Celestia trusted me. All I’d ever done since I became her student was surpass every test she’s thrown at me. Besides the whole, ‘go make friends, Sunset,’ I had gone above and beyond.

The whistling stopped. I was too busy grinding my teeth together. Her cryptic hints, telling me I wasn’t ready for things, and constant nagging to make friends or treat other ponies nicely was wearing my nerves dangerously thin.

But I still loved Celestia. She was the mother I couldn’t remember having.

I suppose that means I was acting the part of the rebellious child. I stuffed the cheesy villain laugh from every play ever back into a dark corner of my mind. That would be suspicious. All the trouble I’d just gone through could have been avoided if Celestia just told me things instead of ‘you’ll know when you’re ready.’

I heard her voice again, saying the same line. My eyes threatened to roll out of my head and across the floor.

I’ll know now, dammit! Next time, if you want to keep something from me, get better security. The librarian was still probably snoring at her desk. I didn’t even have to use magic for that, I had just brought her some especially strong chamomile tea with a sweet smile and a dollop of honey. Because I’m such a sweet and studious student.

I snorted. She’d be down for hours.

Of course, if Celestia really had wanted to keep something from me, she would have put more effort into it than a dowdy librarian and locked gate. I paused. What if the laxity itself was a test to see if I would stoop to theft from under her nose to get what I wanted?

I certainly wouldn’t want to be around when she woke. I shrugged away the thought and continued on past a mural of sun and moon.

Guards stood at every turn and intersection, unmoving as statues, stony faces implacable and staring straight ahead. But I could feel their eyes following me. What if they knew? What if Celestia already knew?

Oh, I was so going to get banished!

I started whistling again before I could bite my lip—the ultimate sign of guilt. Paranoia, I decided, that’s why everypony does it. You know you’re going to get caught, so you try to look as innocent as possible in the meantime.

My thoughts could be pretty loud when they wanted to be, and over the inconstant, slippery whistle, they jabbered at me.

‘No! I’m not going to get caught! It’s one book, and I covered my tracks. Come on, we’re one turn away from being home free!’

‘But it’s Celestia. She’ll find out eventually.’

‘Just a few spells, then we’ll put the book back and nopony has to ever know.’

...Why was I talking in plural?

Around the last corner was my bedroom; just fifty steps down the hall and past one last guard. Barring any surprises, I was in the clear!

“Hello, Sunset.”

“Hi, Cadence.”

I froze.

Sun dammit! I spun around, finding myself face-to-face with the bane of my existence. Excuse me while I name all the things wrong with Mi Amore Cadenza.

First: she’s pink.

Second: everypony just loves her.

Third: she’s just so nice and giving and kind to a fault, it makes me want to hurl.

Fourth: she became a princess after I started training with Celestia. I was supposed to be next!

Fifth: she’s a freaking alicorn! Again, mine!

Sixth: she’s pink.

She smiled at me with that loving smile that could make any stallion (and quite a few mares) weak at the knees. If Celestia had sent her to guilt trip me, it wasn’t going to work. I had what I liked to call, an immunity built up to resist the toxic levels of amity she released.

“How are you this evening?” she asked.

“Fine,” I said curtly.

“What did you do today?”

“Studied. Practice magic. Took a walk. Ate.”

“Sounds like a full day.”

“Yep.”

That was typically how all our conversations went.

We stared at each other. She kept smiling. I kept glowering. There was no trace of knowing in her eyes, so either, she was covering her tracks very well, or she was just bugging me for the heck of it.

“Well, I’m going into town tomorrow to do a little shopping. Would you like to come with me?”

I smiled, showing all my teeth. “Gee, Cadence, that sounds really fun. But my schedule is just so full right now, I’m going to have to take a rain check.”

Her ears folded. Why on earth did she look so disappointed? “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll see you around then.” She turned down the hall and trotted away.

Sometimes, I couldn’t figure her out. Our conversations were mostly one-sided, and I made it an effort to never spend time with her. After a year and a half of this, it was almost routine. I thought by then she would have picked up on the fact that I didn’t like her!

Still, part of me admired her for being so obstinate. Every other pony at school never wanted any contact with me. Cadence was the last one still trying to be my friend.

But, there was a forbidden book in my bag that needed reading. I didn’t have time to make friends; I had to learn everything I could so Celestia would make me an alicorn!

I snapped out of my daze and kept walking to my room. The last guard said nothing, just like all the rest. My paranoia waned as I entered my chambers. There was still the possibility that Celestia could visit me any second and catch me red-hoofed, but with the rebellious child act came the thrill of living life on the edge. I almost dared Celestia to walk in on me, just so I could rub the stolen book in her face.

Of course, if she had set me up, I wouldn’t have much to rub in.

The door swung shut, and with a flick of my horn, the lights came on, illuminating my circular bedroom. The four-poster bed was positioned in the back, with my desk and alchemy station perpendicular to it. The wardrobe and my large bookshelf flanked both sides of the door. On the floor was a carpet decorated in the shape of my cutie mark: an eight-rayed sun, half crimson and half gold.

I walked over to my bed and tossed the saddlebag onto the red covers before resting my head against the gold sheeted pillows.

I’m a narcissist; sue me.

The moon slowly rose over the horizon until it fit in the frame of my window. If my paranoia were still rampant, I would have considered it to be Celestia’s nocturnal eye watching me. Good thing I had stopped caring.

I lifted the book from the bag and held it in front of me. The title was worn and in Old Equestrian. Flipping it open, I was annoyed to see the rest of the book was in Old Equestrian as well, albeit easier to read. I summoned my translating scrolls and laid them out on the bed.

“Just one spell, then bed time.” Translating one spell was going to take most of the night anyway. I picked a page at random and began the tedious translation.

After an hour, I had decoded almost half the page. The spell I had selected doubled the user’s potential by balancing their yin and yang. Something close to that; it wasn’t a perfect translation. But it certainly sounded like it would make me stronger. And maybe I could have used some more balance in my life.

Either way, I had already spent too much time translating one spell to say no. I was determined to prove to myself, and Celestia, that I could handle the spells in this book. And if the first spell I cast doubled my potential, then the rest of the spells in here would be a breeze.

I continued translating and transcribing the text into modern Equestrian. My eyes hurt from reading the thin text in the dim light of my room, but I pushed on. You could call me stubborn, but I liked to think of myself as fiercely determined.

Another hour and a half passed by. The only sounds filling my room were the scratching of my quill against paper, and the ticking of the clock on the wall. I pulled my nose out of the book and rolled my neck before I examined my finished work. Two whole pages neatly translated; take that, Celestia!

I sighed. Maybe I was going about this all wrong. Celestia had been around for who knows how long, and knew everything about anything. Maybe listening to her when she told me I wasn’t ready for something had some merit.

The papers floating in my magic danced in front of me. On the other hoof, I hadn’t just spent almost three hours hunched over a book for nothing. This was going to happen.

I hopped off the bed and read through my notes one last time. The amount of magic this spell would require was significant, but nothing I couldn’t handle. The first step was to fill myself with emotions and thoughts opposite to my usual demeanor.

Well, being honest with myself, on a normal day, I was sarcastic, distant, kinda surly, a little spiteful, and maybe on occasion, a tad hostile. Never to Celestia, of course, just every other idiot I had the displeasure of coming across.

Namely, everypony else.

So the opposite of that would be… Cadence.

I gagged at the idea of filling my head with whatever butterflies and rainbows made up Cadence. But, if it would give me more power, I suppose I could stomach it for a short while.

“Let’s get this show on the road.” I tossed the papers onto my desk, and stood in the center of the room. Magic flooded my being and gathered at the tip of my horn. I began thinking happy thoughts: Rainbows and puppies and tea parties with friends. My stomach actually started churning, so I took it down to memories of Celestia praising me, or when my dad used to spend time with me.

It occurred to me at that moment that I hadn’t actually been happy in quite some time. Spell first, therapy later! I thought, forcing myself to stay on task.

My teal aura became intense, and a draft kicked up, making the curtains around the window and bed dance. A blue ring of light circled around me, pulsing every few seconds. It was working!

Sparks of electricity flashed around me as the magic continued to build. The ring spread out, adding lines and symbols until it was a complex diagram hovering just off the floor. My body felt light as a feather, save for a heavy stone that had somehow found its way into my chest. It sat where my heart should have been, and the more my magic grew, the heavier it got.

I growled, and focused harder, more on the magic than the happy feelings I was supposed to be concentrating on. The rock in my chest heated up, and through my closed eyelids, I could see the light of the magic beginning to fade.

“No,” I grunted. “Come back!” I doubled my magic, and the light returned, but the pain in my chest intensified as well. I remembered the happy thoughts I was supposed to have and tried to dig up some good memories. Me getting accepted into Celestia’s school, the day I got my cutie mark, showing off my perfect grades to anypony who would listen…

The pain started to ebb away, but I wasn’t feeling any more powerful. Heck, I wasn’t even feeling happy, just nostalgic. “Come on, give me something!” My magic increased, and I went back to thinking of asinine things like gumdrops and teddy bears. The wind grew into a full-blown tempest, sending books and papers flying through the room. I could hear the static popping in my ears, and my mane stood up.

My out-of-body experience grew more intense, and yet, I still didn’t feel any different. The spell said it would double my potential. Then why did it feel like I was hitting my normal maximum?

“Come on, give it to me!” Amidst my frustrations, the rock lodged itself in my heart again. I tried to think of a fluffy bunny, but that didn’t seem to make the pain go away. Now I was just irritated. “Give it to me!” My horn was ablaze, blinding, even with my eyes shut. The light from the circle made the lanterns seem like distant stars, and the stars outside vanish completely.

I still felt no different. “I’m giving it my all! Now, give me something back!”

I’m glad the guards never heard me.

My power peaked, and a loud whining noise filled the air. I cracked my eyes open to see the diagram spinning madly around me. A single glance made me nauseous, and I buckled my knees. I couldn’t hold onto the spell anymore, and it seemed like it didn’t want to stick around anyway. My horn released it, drowning the room in a brilliant light. Something collapsed on top of me, and the last thing I remembered was feeling angry.

******

Outside a bird chirped consistently, earning my ire. Couldn’t it tell I was trying to sleep? I turned over and reached for my pillow, only to grab at nothing. In fact, my bed was feeling very hard this morning.

I opened an eye, finding myself looking at the bottom of my door. You’re not my bed, I thought dumbly. The question was, how did I end up so far away from it?

Memories of last night came trickling back, and I recalled the botched spell I had cast. I groaned and sat up, suddenly aware of the migraine at the base of my horn.

“Dammit all. Celestia might be right, maybe I wasn’t ready.” I puckered my face. Celestia couldn’t have been right. I was a magical prodigy—there was nothing I couldn’t do! “Stupid princess,” I muttered. Being angry this early was a first for me. Usually, I was composed until breakfast when I had to sit next to Cadence.

I stood up and turned to my bed, deciding that breakfast could wait; I needed more sleep. Only, curled up between me and my bed was something that looked very familiar.

It had a amber coat, and a crimson and gold mane. Its ears twitched every few seconds, and it seemed to be murmuring in its sleep.

I slowly crept forward, curious to know what it was, and angry that it was in my room. I poked it with a hoof.

“Daddy, five more minutes,” she mumbled in a very familiar voice. I poked her again, and she rolled over towards me.

Curled up in front of me… was me.

I twisted toward my mirror, finding the same face that always stared back at me. I looked down at the carpet again, and there I still was. Her mane was a little curlier and bouncier than mine, but past that, we were identical.

“What?” I squeaked. I poked my doppelganger again, and she opened a teal eye, same as mine.

She yawned, then smiled at me. “Good morning.”

I screamed.