I was watching Steven Universe

by AndreZlatin

First published January 1st, 1970 00:00

I was watching Steven Universe. I was also watching MLP in the past, but somehow I forgot. I was so much into that pink bellybutton magical curly guy that I forgot something that was under my bed for a very long time: the Rainbow Dash plushie that was inside the container inside of my rather big bed in my room.
This fanfic is not serious. It is a comedy thingy I made up for the lulz.

Chapters

Wut.

Wut.
View Online

I was watching Steven Universe

Wut.

I was watching the show and then I heard some noise. Rather familiar, from under my bed.

I don't know if it was the works of the Gravity Falls Triangle Guy or someone else, but in the name of Wander over Yonder I have never seen anything like this before! It was my plushie, but she was standing and... making noises?

I jumped. Just like after seeing a jumpscare in a game of FNAF.

I'm Rainbow Dash! I'm totally not a robotic thingy that tries to talk like Rainbow Dash, in fact I am totally real!

F*ck this. F*ck this world. I don't want to live in this planet anymore. *insert another obscure meme here*

I'm calling the cops right now.

After they came to my house, I was bleeding. They gave me to the hospital.

Come on, get alive! In the name of Celesti... wait what?! - the doctor was confused. Somehow he got the Bronys Disease, it seems.

Then he choked and fell on the floor. I woke up from that bed like there was no bleeding and went to bus number 666 to my house.

BTW, I didn't knew until then that I am the son of Twilight Sparkle that had been deported to Human World.

And who told me that?

That plushie. After I came home. Right to my face.

Hey I know you! You are the son of Twilight Sparkle that had been deported to Human World!
Uhhhh what?

I ran to my friend to tell him that. It was a weird experience. I tripped on the floor and then, minutes later I woke up AGAIN, and then...

I saw ponies. A lot of ponies. Freakin' jumping all over the place like in a freakin' dream. And who are they?

A light voice whispered. Oh no, it screamed.

Who the hay is that!
Applej... where am I? - I was confused like that doctor. I got the Bronys Disease too.
Wait are you a PRINCE?
What? - I saw some horns and wings like everywhere on my body like some sorta cutie pox and sh*t.

And then Steven Universe popped up out of nowhere and split into two gems: X and Y. Yes, those are real gems, not Pokemon games.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME GOD!@#$@!!@@!@

Then, I started emailing every one of my contacts that they should never watch MLP.l I got eventually fired and divorced and EVERYTHING. WAS. LOST.

But then I woke up. It was a terrible dream.

I saw some some strange mail on my computer from somebody from Gravity Falls. Which is BTW a real city in Oregon. DON'T ASK QUESTIONS.

I was invited to join a "great fanfic competition".

Then I started writing. Gosh that was a strange fanfic.

In my fic, Twilight was sitting in her room and then she saw a weird creature from the 4th dimension.

Hi there, creature form the 4th dimension, I'm Twily the best pony ever. That's my Steam nickname btw. What's your name?
My name is Dipper Hooves Universe Quartz Fwhatever. I am a mage from Guytrew, Lokijuda.
Okay. - Twilight nodded and then she wispered to Spike, her eternal friend whose completely not abused by her - He should be burned in fire because he's an imposter from other dimensions! I know it, I am a scientist! (wears smart glasses)

Days later, in the competition:

No. This fanfic doesn't work! Make a better one!
Okay.

And then, somebody walked in. He looked exactly like Flash Sentry. He said the following:

I think this fanfic is hilarious!

Then that video footage of me reading the fanfic in front of thousands of bronieses (Wut, yes, it's a fandom in Equestria of ponies that like the show My Giant Brony. While the show is only for men, little girls started watching it and liked it.) became hyper-popular on DerpyHooves.wut and i got all the moneyz. No, everyone was jut laughing at me.

I didn't want to write anymore. I thought that this sh*t is too weird for me. But I continued and made another story anyway just to try if I can imrove myself.

This time, my perfect OC was walking around Equestria. Yes the entire country, don't ask!

Then, someone handed her a ticket to the Gorgeous Genious Gala of Getting Guests Gosh Gunked. Or the GGGGGGG.

F*ck that! - She said.

She regretted her choice as the guardians of Censorship Police took her to jail. Well, not exactly to jail, it was this empty room with that guy who interrogated her. Then court. Then she almost got arrested but SuperMan flew in and saved her. He said it is injustice to give such ponies a sentence just for swearing!

Anyway, that story only made sense to me alone.