The gun is solid in my hand, real and heavy and reassuringly there. I check, double-check, triple-check; it's ready to go.
"Ready, babe?" Rainbow calls, her voice crackling through the tiny speakers set into the mask.
"I can hear you just fine without the radio right now, Dash." I say, rolling my eyes at my girlfriend. "We're right next to each other. And don't call me 'babe'."
"Whatever, hon."
I sigh.
"What about you, Rares?" I call to the girl standing behind me, dual pistols belted to her hips.
"I'm about as ready as I'll ever be." she says, sighing. "Honestly; I don't see the appeal in running around and covering everything with paint..."
"C'mon, Rarity." Dash calls. "Look at it this way: You'll finally be able to coat Applejack and Pinkie in those color schemes you're always thinking up."
"I suppose there is that..." A grin sneaks its way onto Rarity's face. "You know what? I'm beginning to see the appeal."
None of us mention Fluttershy; we don't need to.
All three of us know she's probably going to be the one covering us in paint.
"You losers ready!?" Pinkie Pie's voice calls from across the obstacle-littered field.
In answer, I heft my assault rifle and fire a shot in their direction.
"Were doin it bro!" Pinkie calls, signifying the start of the battle. "Were makin this hapen!"
The three of us split, Rainbow climbing the nearest obstacle. There's something about Rainbow Dash that seems to work best when she's up high, and I'm certainly grateful for the shotgun cover as Rarity and I take opposite sides of the battlefield.
The area's massive, so we've got a lot of ground to cover. We would've picked a smaller playing field, but Fluttershy insisted on this one, and, seeing as she was paying for the field rental, we let her have her way.
"Come in, Bacon Hair." I hear Dash's voice break the silence, tinny through the speakers. "Bacon Hair, do you read me?"
"I never agreed to that codename." I reply. "What's going on?"
"I saw a blur headed your way. Sorry; you've got Pinkie."
"Sorry?"
I grin. I know Pinkie's strategy. She gets in close using her abnormal speed, and, before the enemy's got time to react, it's over.
Sure enough, a 'tap' of sneaker on dirt is all the warning I get as I hurl myself into a roll, coming up a yard or so to the left of where I was.
Pinkie's standing there, holding two paint rollers, both doused and dripping with rose-colored paint.
"Nice." she says, her grin malicious. "But can you dodge a second time?"
"I've got Pinkie." I say calmly. "Expect backup in a few minutes, once she's taken care of."
"Oh, don't get too cocky, Star Fox." Pinkie says, taking a step towards me.
I level my rifle at her, circling the unpredictable girl warily. She gets onto one foot, balancing on the tips of her toes.
"This move..." she says. "If execute properly, no can defend."
She begins an elaborate martial-arts form, spinning and leaping in place, swinging her paint rollers in a maelstrom of pink liquid.
I open fire.
The paintballs fly forth, splattering against my eclectic foe. Most of them are somehow blocked by the insane wall of paint she's got going on, but some slip through. The problem Pinkie Pie has is that she's savvy. If life is a story, she's the protagonist, and she knows all the action-movie and video-game tropes.
So when you break them, it really 'rustles her jammies'.
Or something.
An enemy in a game or movie would probably keep plugging at the shield, wasting their ammo and giving her time for a snappy one-liner before she lays the hurt down, so I stop, watch, and wait. I've only got a few shots left before I have to reload, anyway.
And, seeing as how reloading takes a minute or so, I may as well be near-out of ammo.
Soon enough, she stops her freaky dance, and - before she can say a word - I plug her twice in the gut. She drops like her quiet sister's pet rock.
Slowly, I walk up to her, keeping my gun aimed at her and staying back a cautious distance; that girl is fast.
Sure enough, she's up in a flash, and behind me. I spin, plugging her twice as she swipes at a Sunset that isn't there anymore, and put a quick elbow in the small of her back for good measure.
Our suits are thick enough that she won't get hurt, but the elbow sends a message, one that a quick double-tap to the back of her helmet reinforces; You're fragged.
"No fair!" Pinkie cries. There's a rule against talking when you're fragged, but Pinkie Pie treats that rule like she treats most other laws, including the laws of physics; as a suggestion. "You got me while I was about to win!"
"Kinda the point." I reply.
"Y-You only stopped me cause I ran out of Stamina Points! I was... I was over-encumbered!"
"Tango down." I call. "How're you two doing?"
"Applejack's presenting a rather large problem." Rarity calls, her voice barely audible over the 'dakka-dakka' of Applejack's chain gun. "However, I think I've managed to figure out her stratagem. More news as it comes."
"Dash?"
"No sign of the Ghost yet, but I'm looking. She's usually here right about now, ready to clean up the survivors..."
A 'bang' reverberates through the field, and Dash's voice gains a fearful edge.
"Okay, so, um... She's after me first. I'm gonna get some distance, give her some exercise. It'll buy you two time. Take care of AJ, and then try and take her out. This is the closest we're gonna get, girls."
She coughs.
"Rares." she says, voice breaking. "If... If I don't make it, tell Sunset I don't not love her."
"It's paintball." I reply, smiling and rolling my eyes. I know she can't see me, but it helps. Somehow. "Not not love ya too."
"Remember the plan." Rarity says. "And Godspeed."
I break into a sprint, racing away from Pinkie, who's still grumbling about 'lag', and into a secluded part of the field; a cul-de-sac of sorts created by a grouping of obstacles.
I'm not sure if Rarity can handle AJ, but even if she can't - which would be typical of Rarity, who usually sits these games out - I know Fluttershy's pride won't let her let AJ take her kill.
Once she's done with Dash, she'll come for me.
Another 'bang'.
"Hey there, Floots." Dash says, a nervous chuckle following close behind the words. "I don't suppose there's any way we can... Talk about this?"
A silence.
"Yeah, thought not. I swear, 'Shy; you're like a different person when you play this. You're sadistic sometimes..."
A sigh from Dash.
"Sure, I'll read it."
Rainbow clears her throat.
"Sunset, you're next." she reads. "I'm coming for you. And then I'm going to get Rarity, if Applejack hasn't wiped the floor with her already. But first, let me shoot this loudmouth in the head - real classy, Shy -"
A third 'bang'.
Then a voice echoes through Dash's mic, from somewhere outside her helmet.
"One down, two to go."
I examine my ammo. Three shots left. Gotta make 'em count.
I hear footsteps behind me. I fire a shot straight up; may as well let her know I know she's there.
"And so it comes to this." Fluttershy's voice says. I turn and see the girl, a grim smile on her helmeted face. "Hunted and hunted. Predator and prey."
"Holmes and Moriarty, Aristotle and mashy-spike-plate, I get it." I reply, sighing. Why does everyone have to be so friggin' theatric? It's just paintball. "Can we just get to the part where we shoot each other and call the game a tie? Again?"
"Not this time." Fluttershy says, bringing her sniper rifle to bear. How that girl can hold that thing one-handed is a mystery. "This time, I drop you first."
"Really?" I say, smiling. Any second now...
A quick glance up, a shift, a single shot, and my paintball hits the one I'd fired earlier on its way down, creating a splatter of crimson paint that settles itself onto Fluttershy's helmet, gumming up the visor.
She lets out a cry of rage, and fires again. The ball nearly grazes my head, and I bring my gun to bear. One shot left. Her paintball splatters on the wall behind me, creating a butter-yellow sunburst of light, almost a halo. It seems fitting, in a way.
I fire...
...And miss.
A gloved hand clears the visor, and Fluttershy nods, a sign of respect.
"Like I said." she says. "I-"
A shot to the side of her helmet, then one in the chest, then two in the gut. Purple explodes all over Fluttershy as Rarity steps out of the shadows, a satisfied look on her face. She holsters her pistols and gives me a look.
"I believe that places the final score at two-to-one, in my favor." she says matter-of-factly. Smiling, I nod.
"gg girls" Pinkie calls. "no re"
"Yeah, Ah'm beat." Applejack calls, our radios opened up to each other now. "Honestly, how'd Rarity get so good?"
"Patience is a virtue, darling." Rarity replies. "And it didn't hurt that you spent thirty seconds reloading..."
"It ain't mah fault mah gun's got a big clip! Besides; If you hadn't spent so much time hidin', I'd've pegged you a good ten or so times!"
"Precisely why I was 'hiding', friend."
"Nice work, Rares!" Rainbow calls. "Two frags on your first time in weeks!"
"Oh, it's a small thing." Rarity says. "I'm sure I won't be as fortunate a second time."
"You got that right." I say, nodding. "Fluttershy has to factor you in now."
"Yeah..." Fluttershy mumbles, and I can practically see the poor girl recede into herself, the confidence that had carried her through the game fading fast. I give her a reasuring smile, and she returns it with a much more subdued one.
The girls slowly make their way to our position, and, together, we count up all the remaining paintballs, divvying them up among ourselves for practice reasons. Rarity, being the overall winner, gets the prize; a bonus package of paintballs, specially colored for the winner.
"Congratulations, Rarity." Fluttershy says, the previous victor presenting the prize. "You've earned this."
Pinkie approaches, arms extended, and inwardly I sigh, resigning myself to one of her group hugs. Sure enough, she sweeps us all into a tight embrace, and we settle into a bundle of grinning and giggling.
"C'mon." I say, breaking the comfortable silence. "Let's get home; it's late."
Author's Note
Another 3 AM baby that I had one morning. Hope you liked it!
